Original subtitles

I bet we've been together for a million years.

And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we did.

And I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do, baby, without a...

What would we do, baby, without her?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without her?

Sha -la -la -la.

Over.

Great.

You are looking at a young man on the verge of becoming independently wealthy

the age of 18.

Congratulations.

Come on, Dad. Aren't you going to ask me what this is all about?

All right.

What's it all about?

Guess.

Alex.

Dad. the student council has granted me the exclusive right to sell senior class

souvenirs. Class rings, T -shirts, that kind of thing?

Oh, sure, sure. Another man might settle for selling that kind of stuff, but I'm

planning to expand this into a major enterprise.

A full line of Harding High class of 84 products.

Coffee mugs, bookmarks, frisbees. That's just the start.

Let me know when I can quit my job.

I will.

Uh, Dad, just one other thing. In order to get started in this, I have to make

an initial investment of $100.

Where are you going to get the $100?

From my partner. Who's your partner?

Well, Dad, let's put it this way.

You're wearing his shirt.

Partner?

No, thanks, Alex.

Oh, come on, Dad. Think about it.

Cheating? And son, the souvenir people.

It's the American dream, Dad.

You say no to this, you say no to America.

What you're saying is you'll put up 50 bucks and I'll put up 50 bucks. Is that

it?

Dad, if you're going to take a hard line on this, just dissolve the partnership

right now.

Oh, so I'm supposed to put up the whole hundred?

It's a deal.

No, no, I just go on instinct.

My mother's going to be here any minute. Aren't you nervous?

I'm covering.

A little tense this morning, aren't we, Mom?

Okay, I may be a little anxious, but it's the first time my mom's come to

since she and Dad got... Separated.

Thank you.

Come on, Elise, relax. I know it's a difficult thing to watch your parents'

marriage break up.

Their marriage didn't break up. They're only...

Separated. Thank you.

Is Grandma here yet?

Not yet.

I like when Grandma visits.

She really knows how to spoil someone.

Oh, she's here.

Now, kids, I want you to take a little easy on Grandma this time.

Why? What do you mean, Mom?

Well, you know, Grandma and Grandpa are so, so sorry.

Separated.

Thank you. And I think we need to... kitchen and help boost up her spirit,

likely to be a little more depressed and unhappy than you're used to seeing her.

Hello, hello, hello!

Well,

we've got to get going. Kate, I'll see you later tonight. I've got to get the

kids to school. Bye, babe. Bye.

Bye -bye, Kate.

Honey?

How you feeling, Mom?

Great. How are you feeling?

Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine. I was just asking because you and Dad are

Separated? Thank you.

That's a real difficult word for me to say.

How are you on the word divorce?

Mom!

It's almost final.

Almost is not final. Let's not close the door completely.

You and Dad might reconcile, move back into the house. We sold the house. You

sold the house?

My room, too?

Just a minute.

It's for you.

It's a man.

I gave some friends this number. I hope it's all right.

Sure.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Philip.

Philip.

Lunch today?

Oh, that would be lovely.

Well, see you later, honey.

Honey?

Philip, you shouldn't say such things.

I just got back from the wholesalers with some prototypes.

I'm telling you, these things are surefire bestsellers.

Okay? First we have the official Harding High Class of 84 duck collar.

We better shut the door.

We do not want any ducks in here.

Look at this.

Class of 84 windshield wiper.

Dad, I'm going to sell Class of 84 pasta makers, Class of 84 glow -in -the -dark

shoe trees, Class of 84 charcoal briquettes.

Well, what do you think?

I like the briquettes.

But some of these items strike me as being a little impractical.

Oh, Dad, plus me. I have got my finger on the pulse of the contemporary

teenager. Oh, almost forgot.

Class of 84.

Monocles.

We are going to sell four loads of these babies.

In any case, I think I'll resist the urge to put a down payment on a summer

house.

Where's Mallory? She's supposed to do the dinner dishes.

She said she'll do them later. She's upstairs helping Grandma get ready for

date.

Grandma's going out again?

That's the third time this week she's gone out.

Yeah, isn't that something?

Over 40 and still active.

A real miracle.

You know, Stephen, I don't think I like the idea... Please, Julie.

I said I wasn't going to interfere. I won't.

Now, are you sure you don't mind my borrowing your necklace, Mallory? Of

not, Grandma. I think it looks great on you.

You would lie to an old lady, would you?

I don't know any old ladies.

Grandma, you look so pretty.

Thank you.

Mom, if you think I'm going to let you leave the house looking like that, you

are sadly mistaken.

Well, what's wrong with the way I look? Nothing.

You look great.

Thank you.

Oh, don't you think that dress is just a little too... too... Too what?

Too red.

No, I think it's just the right amount of red.

Oh, that's Philip. How do I look?

Never mind.

I'll get it, Grandma.

Hi, how you doing? You must be my grandmother's date.

Do you mean to tell me that ravishing woman is the grandmother? I can't

it. Well, I call her grandmother.

It's just a term of affection.

Actually, she's my niece.

Come on in here and meet everyone.

Now, don't tell me.

This fine young man is Alex, and these beautiful creatures must be Mallory,

Jennifer, and Stephen.

How do you do?

And this is my wife, Elise.

Oh, Elise.

I've been looking forward to meeting you for a long time.

How long?

Oh, I see. You want to know how long I've been seeing your mother?

The question did cross my mind.

Didn't she tell you? In February, it'll be 20 years.

20 years behind Daddy's back?

Bill, it's my dentist, honey.

Dr. Morgan?

That's right.

Kate's spoken very highly of your root canal.

I try to brush after every meal and avoid between -meal treats.

And when she doesn't, I remind her.

I'm a bit of a floss man myself.

Well, tell us a little about yourself, Philip.

Any children?

Three. Wife? Divorced. Health?

Knock wood.

Plans for the future?

Well, I... I'm retired. I have plenty of money. I guess I'll just hang around

until I die.

Where do you think that'll be?

Gin.

I said gin.

Elise, I'm sure your mother's fine.

My mother? You think I'm staying up because of my mother?

I happen to love this game. That's why I'm staying up. So just shut up and play

poker.

Want to talk about her?

No, I do not want to talk about her.

I cannot believe she is out on a date.

Philip looked like a perfect gentleman.

Oh, Stephen, you are so naive.

I have read articles about sex and older people.

They retire to these little communities of condominiums. They take folk dancing.

They eat the early bird special.

Then they all go home to their hot tubs.

There are a lot of grandmas and grandpas in hot water right now.

Elise, your mother is a grown woman. I'm sure she can take care of herself.

She may be a grown woman, Stephen, but she cannot take care of herself. My

father's always protected her.

She's been married for 40 years. What could she know about sex?

You know what I mean.

I am sure she is fine.

It's after midnight. Why hasn't she come home?

I think we should go to bed.

I can't. I'm too keyed up to sleep.

Well, maybe...

Just maybe we could think of something else to, uh, pass the

time up there.

What? Now?

With my mother out?

Well, tell her about it.

I'm sorry, Stephen. This whole business with my mother is really getting to me.

Now, look, Elise, she is practically a divorced woman. You have got to accept

it.

I could accept it a lot easier if I didn't have to watch Mom go gallivanting

with the man who told her to rinse and spit for 20 years.

I'll get it.

Hello.

Oh, hi.

Uh, all right, fine.

Uh, oh, I will.

You too.

Bye.

Who was that?

That was your mother. She said they had a wonderful time at the concert.

They stopped for ice cream afterwards.

And, oh, yeah, she's spending the night at Phillips.

new line of yogurt products.

I heard the key. I thought you were the milkman.

You gave the milkman the key?

Mom,

just where have you been?

What?

I said, where have you been?

That's what I thought you said.

And the answer is, what business is it of yours?

get our sleep.

It's only 6 .15. You're only going to have 45 minutes.

Well, that sounds like more than enough.

Are you coming up?

No, Mom, and I have some things to talk about. I'll be up.

All right, but all I'll wait is half an hour. Then I've got to get to sleep.

I don't get my 15 minutes a day I'm worthless.

Now, do you mind telling me what this is all about?

I've had a very busy evening, and I'd like to get some rest.

Well, if you would come home at a decent hour, you wouldn't be so tired now.

If I'd come home at a decent hour, I would have had to spend the evening

with you about the divorce.

Oh, so rather than talk with your only daughter, you'd rather soak in some

hot tub?

We did not soak in any hot tub.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.

hot tub was too crowded.

We went in the sauna.

Maybe we'll use the hot tub next time.

What did you and this tooth jockey do tonight?

I am not going to subject myself to these questions.

I'm a mature adult capable of taking care of my own life and I'm going to do

whether you like it or not.

Come to think of it, I remember you saying the exact same thing to me about

years ago.

To tell you the truth, it isn't easy.

But it's all coming back to me.

Good morning.

Look, Stephen, we have a very serious problem on our hands here with my

I'm trying to figure a few things out. If you don't mind, I'd rather not be

diverted by your idle chatter.

Did you and your mother talk?

You always take her side, don't you?

What? No, admit it. You've always liked my mother, haven't you?

All right, I confess, I do.

Sorry, Alex, it's just not going to work.

Oh, come on, Jennifer. How do you know until you try?

Some things you just know.

What's the problem?

Alex wants me to sell his class of 84 mustache wax to the fifth grade.

Come on, Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer, look. I told you, I'm willing to give

half the profits.

Now, wait a minute.

I thought I was getting half the profits.

The beam is dead, Pop.

Sales haven't been good.

Sales haven't been.

Nothing?

Well, yeah, I sold a bottle of Class of 84 suntan lotion to Mallory's friend

Carla. It was $1 .30 total profit.

Here's your 65 cents.

This was once $100, Alex.

Alex, Carla wants her money back from that suntan lotion you sold her. It

her skin green.

She knew the risks.

I told her there was a possibility of that happening.

Dad!

Well, just how green did she turn?

Dad!

Morning, Mom.

Morning, Elise.

Morning, Grandma.

Sleep well?

Not really, Jennifer.

Don't do that, Elise. You're being very childish.

Oh, I'm being childish?

That's funny.

So,

Grandma, how was your date?

Oh, very nice. Thank you.

How'd the necklace go over? Did Philip like it?

Yeah, thank you. He did.

Oh, I must have left the necklace at his house.

Kate, what are you doing?

I'm not going to stay here and be insulted by that woman you married. Oh,

on.

Kate, please.

Sit down.

Please, please, sit.

Sit down.

Look.

I know Elise has been a little irrational lately.

A little irrational?

All right. In some states, she'd be put away.

But you've got to understand...

Divorce is always tough on the children.

So, here we are.

Mother, daughter.

Husband? Son -in -law?

Just the four of us.

Maybe... Maybe I'll be off to work now. If it's okay with the two of you... Go.

Elise,

I'm furious with you.

You're mad at me?

I'm not the one who stayed out all night.

Why are you having a harder time accepting this divorce than I am?

There are some things in this world that you can count on. The sun comes up in

the morning. It's hard to whistle with crackers in your mouth.

And my mom and dad do not get divorced.

Elise, you're going to have to get used to it.

You had a great marriage. We had a great family. Everybody said so.

Was it all a lie?

Look, we did have a good marriage.

We grew apart.

It happens.

But it doesn't erase the wonderful years we had together.

I want my family back.

Oh, honey.

It's so scary.

If you and Dad can break up, that can happen to anybody.

It could happen to me. No, I don't think it'll ever happen to you.

Charlie and I were husband and wife for 40 years.

But somehow, we never became real friends.

You and Stephen are friends.

Don't you miss Dad a little?

Of course I do.

There are a lot of things about your father that I miss.

Like what?

Oh, little things.

Like the way he used to wake me up in the morning.

How? He used to lean over and yell, Swimmers take their marks.

And then he'd shoot off a little toy cat pistol.

I never overslept.

You know, Elise, I've always belonged to someone else.

Charlie Donnelly's wife.

Elise's mother.

Ned's mother.

Never just me, Kate.

This is a very difficult time for me.

I guess I haven't made it any easier for you, have I?

I really need your support, honey.

I need to feel you're behind me.

I am, Mom.

I'm sorry.

Will you stay?

Of course I'll stay.

You're going to continue dating, though, huh?

Yep.

Okay.

No slow dancing on the first date.

Two feet under.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.