Original subtitles

That's my son.

special night because tonight one of our beautiful and very talented divas will

strut her way to history and when this beautiful trophy that's right the very

first ever the much coveted the one and only wwe golden thong a war

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big thing. Please welcome Paul Heyman.

Our third judge tonight is a man who is one of the most recognizable judges of

talent this planet has to offer.

He's on loan from Toughen-Up 3. Please welcome the winner

She volunteered her services.

She would, of course, love to be competing here tonight.

It's not for an untimely injury.

Please welcome a former WWE Women's Champion, Jan.

And our final judge this evening is a former King of the Rings,

former Intercontinental Champion, and one of the biggest superstars

And the six, well, they just dig it.

Please welcome, Ed.

And now, here to call all the action.

And I promise you, there's going to be plenty of it.

Please welcome Michael Cole and Jerry, the King of Logs.

Thanks a lot, Joey, for the welcome to the world.

competition. And you know what happens when Divas are in competition in

lingerie. I mean this could be the greatest night of our lives. You know there's

going to be three separate competitions tonight. The Teddy competition. No it's

the Teddy competition. Teddy. Also Braun Panties and the Fantasy free-for-all.

Well, they can use their imaginations.

I'm already using my imagination, Michael.

I can imagine.

And if you win this thing, the diva who wins

will pick up the coveted Golden Thong Award.

Oh, the Golden Thong Award.

But let me tell you something, Michael.

Check it out.

Check out the Golden Thong Award.

It's great.

But let me tell you something even greater than that.

Earlier this afternoon, I made my way

into the diva's dressing room, and I

have set up this high tech.

Camera Michael, it's great. I'm gonna introduce the world tonight to King TV. I know how you hate to miss anything

courtesy of King TV tonight, you know, we're gonna get to see

There she is, Miss Golden Thaw, oh my dear, this is going to be great.

What is wrong with you?

What do you mean what is wrong with me?

Neck and women on TV right here tonight, go to see a kid on TV!

Well, without further ado, why don't we get this thing started?

This is the time for the first of three competitions, this is the Teddy competition.

for the judges.

secret fashion show but nonetheless we were sort of wondering why jazz wanted

to be a judge in this competition. Well I'll tell you one thing Trish was one of my favorites

going into this thing if she can't continue to compete they should fire jazz. I guarantee

they should fire because I mean she may have ruined my whole show. Well if a diva cover girl

like Trish cannot compete and obviously a favorite perhaps it opens the door for some

Looks like Trish's history and that Golden Thong is all mine.

Dream, I'm Stacey.

I'm the one that knows the thing or two about winning competitions around here and...

Oh, swaying the judges.

I knew it. I was at that tough enough awards and I knew you cheated. You're a cheater.

I want that competition fair and square.

Girls, girls, girls. I'll have none of this in my dressing room.

And just like I said to the others, if you expect to win the Golden Thong, stay focused.

And you, you are swayed when you should be sashamed.

Excuse me.

And you, you spend all that money on your front side, and you're showing your back side.

So why don't you show the judges the money, okay?

Thanks for your advice, Rico.

What's that? Well, you tell her to keep her panties on. My name is Rico, not David Copperfield.

And there's only so much magic in a form in one night.

Well, obviously Rico has some personal issues with the demons, but I think they're doing a pretty good job,

and my vote is not the one that counts. We're done with the first competition, the Teddy competition,

and at this point, Edge, who has the edge?

Coach, I just can't believe that I'm in New York City judging a thong a thong.

What took the WWE so long to do this?

I think everybody should get a golden thong, even you, you got some junk in the trunk.

Now, now Maven, Maven, your girlfriend is in there competing.

Did she do anything before the competition to sway your judgment?

Honestly, coach, I can't remember anything ever, ever being quite this hard.

It's gotta be difficult for you sitting here,

watching in three of your tough enough kids

prancing around in all that lingerie.

Well coach, I am a professionally trained judge of talent

and I have to be honest, it is difficult,

but I'll be all right, I'll be able to get through it

as long as my good buddy, Big, doesn't come out here

prancing around in a thong, in a bra.

You got that right, you got that right.

out of the competition. Who would you say is the front runner right now?

You know coach, I look at all these Divas and I think any of them could just be on top.

I mean, I just don't have a feel as to who's going to snatch that Golden Thong Award.

I mean, just imagine it right in front of you.

down to 7. As coach said earlier, Trish Stratus is out of the competition after that sneak

attack by Jazz and it's a shame because I thought Trish is one of the pre-match favorites.

She was certainly one of my favorites Michael, but we have to move on. As a matter of fact,

we have to move on to a little bit of King TV. Come on, it's time to check out King TV.

The competition's about to begin.

Rico, can I get your opinion on this?

Oh, girl.

I don't think I've ever seen one of those down there before.

That is so cute.

And your breasts look great.

Now, some of those are a little smaller on the top

than on the bottom, but you're just perfect.

Now, let me help you with that.

Thank you, Rico.

No, thank you.

Now, let's get some panties on.

And this time.

Let's do it the way Rico showed you.

How about a little blue, a little green lung?

How about some sparkles?

And mommy's unwrapped! I gotta have something to get that sight out of my eyes. Can we take one more look at King TV?

Come on, check it out! One more time! Let's see some more King TV!

King TV!

You know, personally, I think Rico does not know what he's talking about. I think both of you are sexy, very, very sexy.

Here we go, Michael.

And Rico is very dull.

Thank you, Terry.

And speaking of sexy, girl, your body is looking so...

Hot tonight, you are smoking.

Did you even think for a minute that we'd fall for your silly thong cam?

I don't think so.

Hi-hee!

You wanna give it all down?

You wanna give this hat for you?

I know y'all.

She'll go all the way.

All the way!

This is the squared circle Moolah's autobiography available on the first part of August.

Well, I ended up thinking that the Diggins had better nights.

We're done with the second and three competitions.

The Broad Panties competition in the books.

And right now you'd have to think it was a dead heat.

So Ed, at this point, who do you have?

to ask you to leave right now.

Remember, this is your last chance. It's a catwalk.

Not enough food terms.

It's all about accessories.

Who needs props?

Ooh, that is fun.

Come on, it's not that nutty, is it?

Hey girl, what are you not wearing?

Let's make you feel proud. Come on.

You don't even want to go out.

Not yet. Hey, you know, seven divas with an opportunity to win the Golden Thong Award.

We are down to one competition and it's the, well, the fantasy free for all.

And basically what this competition is, is the women are going to be able to go out there

and, well, use their imagination or...

Look, I'll handle this, Michael. Don't send a boy to do a man's job.

This is, this is the climax, Michael.

It's like your wildest sexual fantasy come true.

It's sort of like the dream you told me about.

You know your dream, the one with the little dutch girl and the pigtails and the wooden shoes and the finger and the...

has had a good time.