Original subtitles

Harvey, what do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Harvey, what does a love kiss say in my memory?

Right.

Bill.

Bill. Bill.

Bill. Bill.

Bill.

Do you still do taxis? Sorry?

Is there a taxi rank?

Oh, er... Oi, you!

A gentleman here wants a cab.

It's over there, sir.

Come on!

What are you doing?

Mr. Mitchell, come on. Come in here, quick. I can't. I've got to see to this

lot. Oh, no.

No, not them.

Ah, the carriage.

It's still there.

Yeah, well, yeah.

And the dear old Aidan's field arms.

Are you sure this is where he lives?

Oh, yeah, definitely. Oscar!

My old mate, Oscar.

I'm sorry.

Hurry!

Harry Oakswell.

Harry, uh... Harry!

Well, well, well, my word.

After all these years.

What are you doing here?

I can't believe it.

I didn't even think we were still in it. Once in, always in. You know the rules.

All right.

But I don't like the sound of this one little bit.

Look, you were just pretending we never got it or something.

Crazy.

This is the class struggle.

We're fighting for our beliefs. Yeah, but I really... There are no buts,

Look, if we get an order, we deal with it.

Else we're in big trouble.

Like what?

Like people coming to beat the living daylights out of us, that kind of thing.

This isn't the Boy Scouts, brother.

Listen.

Red alert.

Urgent.

Judge Yardley arriving in Ashfordly area imminently.

Take immediate action vital.

Well, what does that mean?

Well, obviously.

We find the guy and then we deal with him.

Look, what are you doing after work?

I'm taking Sheila out. Right.

I'll meet you in Ashfordly Woods car park at seven.

We'll talk then.

But how are we going to find him if we don't know what he looked like?

He sent this.

I'd have met him.

Oh, inland revenue. Oh, dear.

Well, read it. Go on.

David, will you buzz off?

Go and get Mr Hawkswell's car ready or something.

Well, go on.

Oh, Lord.

A full inspection. What does that mean?

Well, it means they're going to come to the house and look through your papers.

I can't pay any more tax, Bernard. I haven't got any more money.

You did have buckets of it.

Yes, and I lost it all, if you remember.

But they might not believe you. They might want to come and turn the house

upside down just to make sure.

They do that.

I had a friend once who kept a lot of money under the mattress and didn't

declare it.

And?

They found it on one of these full inspections.

Oh, another ex -policeman, eh?

That's right, Gina. Harry and I worked together at Ashfordly Police Station.

What? Must be 23 years ago. Oh, at least, yes. Our very first posting.

joking, aren't you?

Oh, those were the days, eh? Could have seen the old rascal then, terror for the

girls. Oh, I... Well, I wouldn't say that exactly.

Oh, yes.

Hey, there was another young fellow at the station. He got hooked very early on

by a girl with a face like a bloodhound.

Now, what was his name?

Al.

Alf Ventress.

Alf Ventress, yes.

Wonder what's happened to him. Well, he's still around.

And Mrs Ventress?

No. I'll give him a call.

Alf Ventress.

There's a name to conjure with.

I'll show you to your room then, shall I?

Oh.

Have you got any idea how long you're going to be staying?

Er, that's a difficult one.

It rather depends.

Right, follow me.

Hurry up, Alf. You might catch Blue Peter if you step on it.

Valerie Singleton and her yoghurt pot.

She mustn't mess that.

I don't know if you'll be all right until May.

Home by six.

Long, cosy evenings in front of the fire.

You're just jealous.

That's for the police station.

Here's Jeff.

Alf. Oscar for you.

Oh.

Hello, Oscar.

Who?

I know you picked him up because my brother works here and he told me that

did. Oh, I can't remember. Yes, you can.

It was around five o 'clock. Oldish fella. With specs.

Well, maybe you should ask Mr Scripps. It's not a question of Mr Scripps.

Look, I just want to know where you took him.

It's nothing bad.

I've got something for him, that's all.

All right.

Oh, well, then. Well, in that case, he's up at the pub visiting Mr. Blaketon.

The Aidensfield Arms.

Yeah, that's right.

Hey, shall I tell him that you're looking for him? Because he's come over

garage late. He said to pick up his hire car. No.

We want it to be a surprise.

Oh.

So not a word, then, eh?

OK.

I can't believe it. I'm still working.

Still in the same old station?

Yes. I mean, civvies, where's the sense in that? I mean, you're either in the

force or you're out. There's no halfway house.

No. Much better to jack it in altogether, that's what I say.

Retirement's nothing to be frightened of, is it, Oscar?

Well... I've never been happier.

You mustn't cling to the past all the time. Move on, get some new interests.

Have you got any hobbies?

Yes, fishing.

Well, then, wouldn't you rather be doing that than pushing papers round in a

stuffy office? Of course you would.

These are our sunset years.

Enjoy them before it's too late.

I suppose you're right.

My wife passed away, unfortunately, but I'm not the sort to be lonely. Good

Lord, no. I've got new friends in the stamp world and life is full.

Stamps are my passion. And since my retirement, my collections go on by

and bounds.

Have either of you ever been to the Arrogant Stamp Fair?

I'll get the photos.

Leave it? So, what do we do now?

Oh, hang on.

I've got a pencil.

Right.

Hello, Gina. Can I have a packet of Figaro, please?

Hello, stranger.

Liz.

You've been rather elusive recently.

Yeah, lots to catch up on at work.

And have you?

By what?

Caught up?

Oh, yes.

Yes, sort of.

Good.

Well, I was going to head home and get something to eat. Do you want to join

No, no.

I'd better keep an eye on things over the wall.

So go, I've been.

Right.

I'll phone you tomorrow.

Sheila, all right?

Yeah. Get in.

The bloke you saw at the station was dropped off at the Aidensfield Arms.

Right. So the first thing we do is check him out, make sure he really is this

judge bloke. And if he is?

We make his life uncomfortable, of course.

He's just sent down three of our members, Lionel.

That's seven years apiece.

Bernard, that was nearly it.

That was nearly the end of me. Oh, yes.

You won't believe what I've just seen in the woods.

Probably not.

A puma!

Been on the wine gums again, have we?

I'm telling you, it was this big. It nearly killed me.

All right, all right, don't get so excited. What were you doing in the

anyway? Well, I went... Oh, it doesn't matter.

Anyway, on the way back, I phoned the Evening Gazette and they said if we

get a photograph... No.

They'll pay good money.

No. But if we went together... Vernon, I'm extremely busy.

Good night.

Oh.

You've no pioneering spirit. That's your trouble.

Ah, David.

Just the man I'm looking for.

Listen.

Do you want to know a secret?

Do you promise not to tell?

Closer.

Let me whisper in your ear.

Say the words I love to hear.

I'm in love with you.

What's he doing there?

Closer.

Let me whisper in your ear.

Say the words I love to hear.

First you take a heart, then you break a heart.

But before you do,

you make a fool of you.

This is your room, is it?

Well, went out in the evening and came back to find this.

Me and Oscar didn't hear a thing, Steve.

Not a thing.

It's really scary.

What time did you go out?

Um...

Well, it was about eight o 'clock, Harry. You said you were going out for a

breath of air.

Yes, that's right.

And is anything missing?

No.

Anything anywhere else?

No.

Well, I think she's as far as they got. Harry must have disturbed them.

Well, they'd be coming to my room had I just died.

All right, Jane.

It gives me the absolute shivers, Oscar.

Strangers creeping round in the dark and me lying in the room next door.

Terrifying.

OK. I'll have a ride around, see if I can see anyone on the road.

I don't think there's anything more we can do here till the scene of crime's

come in the morning.

Obviously, nothing must be touched in this room, so if Harry could... Come on,

Mr Hawkswell. I'll make you up a bed in the box room.

Thanks, Gina.

What time did he come in?

Oh, about one o 'clock.

Where'd he been till that time?

He went to Whitby.

See a friend of his.

Somebody after the tin, I suppose.

I reckon. You keep back from the ladder, please, everyone.

Prince here we have to take.

Sorry to hear about the break -in, Oscar.

Oh, by the way, if anybody wants me, I'm not around.

I've got the taxman coming this afternoon and I'm up to my ears in

Oh, and David, remember what I said.

Don't come home till he's gone.

Yeah, all right, Mr Vernon.

Hey, Vernon.

How was the puma hunt?

David said you didn't have much luck.

Not last night, no.

It doesn't happen all at once.

You have to have patience to be a big game hunter.

Oh, yes, I'm sure.

Especially in Ashfordly Woods.

Look, I definitely saw it.

I expect it was a large rabbit.

Oh, yeah, they're easily mistaken for pumas, aren't they?

Yeah. Especially if they come upon you suddenly.

Oh, go on, you can laugh.

But you'll eat your words later.

Not if the pewmer eats you first, eh, Vernon?

So, anything found of the scene?

Footprints, fingerprints?

Plenty, Sarge. Fina crime is there now. Good.

It'll be the fair trials, I'll bet you.

All right, then. Get their file out, would you, Crane? Thanks.

Why the Aidensfield art?

Devilment, I'd imagine.

Oh, hello, Harry.

Well, well, well.

Talk about a time warp.

Oh, you've moved desks. That's progress, I suppose.

Silence. This is Harry, a piece of Hawksville that was.

He was here when Oscar and I first started.

Harry, this is Sergeant Merton. Pleased to meet you, Sergeant.

Harry.

Oh, 25 years on and just the same.

Hey, I bet you still grew up in that old kettle in the washroom, eh?

Afraid so, yes.

Well, make us a cuppa, lad.

Let's have a trip down memory lane.

Liz? Liz?

Hey, there's been a break -in.

Yes. Is it bad?

They left one of the guest bedrooms in a bit of a state.

I was looking for you, actually, not coming to gawp.

Oh, yes?

To apologise to you last night, I was a bit off.

I've been really busy at work recently. Not to worry.

You sure?

Good.

I do hope you haven't started smoking, though. I'd have to warn you that as a

doctor I feel that. I haven't.

So why the cigars?

Oh, those.

They weren't for me, silly. They're for his lordship when he comes back.

Come here.

I'll see you later.

He doesn't smoke either.

I wouldn't go back to work again now for all the tea in China.

Not now I've tasted freedom.

Getting it when I want.

Doing what I want.

Did I show you the photos of my stamp collection?

Yes.

Actually, I'd best be off. As I keep saying to Al, he's a fool to stay on.

Yes, well... Apart from anything else, the job just isn't what it was. The

discipline, the respect, all gone to pot.

I mean, take this burglary.

Vandalism, I call it.

That sort of thing didn't used to happen. We didn't let it.

Policemen today have lost all authority. The public have great written. Mr.

Hobsbawm.

Sorry to interrupt what I'm sure is the most fascinating conversation, but I'm

afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

We're extremely busy.

Crane, I have Oscar Blaketon coming to see me about the break -in. Bring in

list of suspects, will you?

Yes, Clive.

Well... Well, I think perhaps it's right.

We have got a lot to do.

But I'll see you later at the pub, eh?

Possibly. Ah, morning, all.

Ah, morning again, Harry.

So, where are you off to now, then?

Another walk in the woods?

Sorry?

Well, I thought that's what you were doing last night.

Oh, I went to Whitby, I told you.

Oh,

that's odd.

What? Well, he can't be in two places at once, and Vernon and David swear blind.

They saw him in Ashfordly Woods.

First he goes to the police station, then he goes shopping, all the time

that pleased with himself.

He's no idea we're on to him.

Here he comes now.

See you go there.

Champagne? Champagne and caviar while our lads eat slobs.

Disgusting.

Right.

The plan A didn't rattle him, it's on to plan B.

This time he'll know we mean business.

As you can see, Mr Wilkinson, it's all in perfect order. New Zealand apples,

see, in invoices.

Now, Icelandic cod, that's receipts.

Alfred, stop eating July's figures, will you?

And I've got them all together and we'll go through them ourselves.

It should take us about five minutes, you see.

Now, the receipts, this is April, November...

1966. Well, that shouldn't be there, should it?

No, I'll tell you what, just hold on to that, will you? And I'll find... Now,

that's not... No, no, hang on.

Alfred, will you get down?

Look, look at that. Take those as well.

We don't want to get in a muggle, do we?

Don't!

Right. Come on, then.

You might come back. Do it quickly.

I'll stand guard.

Right, let's go.

You get the tools out.

Well, say the break -in happened much earlier when the pub was still open.

would explain why Gina and I didn't hear anything.

Well, if they weren't disturbed, why stop at Harry's room?

Unless they were after Harry.

Oh, well, it was just an idea.

Yeah, well, why would anyone want to be after Harry?

Well, I might, if he goes on any more about his ruddy stamps.

No, just... all seems a bit odd to me.

David!

Looks like someone's in trouble.

What?

Well? I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

Mr Wilkinson said he'd never seen such chaos.

Never. Well, I didn't know he had your papers out.

I didn't know the wind was going to blow in like that.

Goodness knows what's going to happen now.

I'll probably end up in prison.

Oh, no.

And if I do, it's your fault.

That's where you're at.

Going down the bumpy hillside.

In your hippie hat.

Flying across the country.

And getting fat.

Say everything is moving.

I've been a bad, bad boy. I'm on my knees. Forgive

me, please.

I've been a bad, bad boy.

I'm not the man you think I am. I give you warning.

You wake up and find me caught some sunny morning.

I've been a bad, bad boy.

Oh, Alf.

You'll never find anything from that far back.

What's it matter why Harry left 25 years ago?

I don't see how it's going to help us with his breaking business.

Well, he might have done something, mightn't he? He might have done

that was dangerous for him and the area.

He might have made an enemy. What?

Harry?

What, have you found something?

Alf?

Ashfordly Police.

Hello, Steve.

All right.

Right, I'll check the hospitals.

There's been a crash on the road up to Ashfordly Woods.

Harry Hawkswell's gone missing.

Fantastic. Yeah, but where's the judge?

Snuffed it with any luck.

No one will know.

They'll think it was an accident.

When was this car last serviced, David?

Last week.

Well, the bleed screws are loose.

All four of them.

That was Bellamy.

No sign of Oxford at the pub.

No reports from the hospitals.

Sarge, check that bleed screw.

Now, all four of them are loose.

There's no fluid left, so the brakes would have failed completely.

They can't be. I mean, Mr Screech would never leave them like that. Never.

We're not saying he did, David.

Sabotage? Looks like it.

Where's Mr Huxwell?

Thank you.

The nearest place to the scene of the accident. I was wondering whether the

victim might have come here for help.

I think it probably happened in small hours.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, no, no, it's fine. Perhaps I could introduce you.

Sergeant Merton, Ashfordly Police.

This is Detective Sergeant Worley.

Special branch.

Sergeant?

Look at the state of it. What's Harry been playing at?

Don't touch.

Not till we've gone over it for prints.

Prince? We think someone might have tampered with the braid.

What, to cause an accident?

Well, that's what it looks like.

Could have killed him.

Why? Why?

But luckily it didn't.

Where's the hawks, well?

Where on earth have you been?

In the woods, waiting for help.

Where else am I going to find shelter in a godforsaken spot like this?

Mr Vernon, something else awful has happened. Now, you're not going to be

pleased. I didn't do it. It's not my fault. David, come here, you little

I can kiss you.

Oh, Mr Vernon!

Congratulations. You're a clever lad. Here, read this from Mr Wilkinson. He

have written it as soon as he got back to his office.

Well, go on, read it.

Dear Mr Scripps, re -tax... tax action.

I'm off the hook.

That's what it says. They're not going to investigate me. And it's all down to

your brilliant little wheeze.

What? Coming in like that and muddling all the papers up.

The man obviously couldn't face it. Obviously had enough.

You have made an old friend a very happy man.

Oh, you're not going to be happy for very long.

Not when I tell you about the hire car.

Right. What I'm about to tell you must go no further, and that's an order right

from the top.

You understand?

Yes, Sarge, yes, Sarge.

Good.

We have a VIP staying incognito up at Ashfordly Hall.

You made a pop star or something?

Just listen, please, will you, Bellamy?

Sorry? Nobody knows he's there apart from Ben Norton and Mrs. Skellett, the

housekeeper, and even she doesn't know who he is.

He's in hiding because he's received death threats from a small extremist

And I'll tell you this much.

He's a High Court judge, and he recently gave three members of this group long

prison sentences.

And now they want their revenge.

Yes. It's not that case in all the papers. The bomb's in the left luggage

locket. Who's that judge?

Never mind who he is.

Yardley. Judge Yardley. All right, that's enough.

This man's life could be in serious danger.

Special Branch believe the local cell of this group has been activated.

We've no idea how big it is or who's in it.

But we do know they're likely to be extremely violent.

And Special Branch have been tipped off that they're planning to act tonight.

Which is where we come in.

Are you telling me how he spent the night in the woods?

That's what he said.

Well, it didn't seem like it. He came in this morning as fresh as a daisy.

Cheerful as anything.

You know what the first thing he said was?

Can I borrow your car?

Because he crashed Bernie's. Aye.

To see his so -called friend in Whitby.

The thing is, Ralph, the only place we know for certain that he goes to... Is

Ashfordly Woods.

Well, if that's where he's gone now, and that's where Merton and the lads are

doing their hush -hush surveillance work... We'd better find him quick.

Oh, by the way, for what it's worth, I found out why he was moved to Penrith.

Huh? Woman.

Shut up, Sheila.

I don't like this.

Oh, stop!

We shouldn't be doing it. We've got to.

Stop whinging, will you?

This is what we should have done from the very start, according to HQ.

They're not happy with us at all.

Yeah, but we could kill other people, not just the judge.

Look.

There's my car.

We were right.

He is in here somewhere.

But why?

We'll just park under those trees and we'll go and find out.

Where are you going?

Bob.

Oh, great. Can I come?

No! It's a business meeting.

Look, it's nearly time for the archers. You'll like them.

We need a torch for a business meeting.

Oh, Gordon Bennett, David.

All right, look, I'm going to look for the puma again.

See if I can get a picture of it. And no, you can't come.

Last time you did nothing but twitter and moan all the way there about wanting

to come home.

Yeah, well, I won't be frightened this time, will I? Because I've spoken to Mr

Scripps and he says that there isn't a puma.

Well, I won't mind looking for a puma that isn't there, will I?

David, the archers, now.

Oh, Mr. Vernon, he's got you.

Come on, Phil.

Just a few hours of surveillance, not the end of the world.

I had a date.

Oh, really?

No need to sound so surprised.

So, there's no hope you and Gina? No.

Look, just leave it, will you?

Everything all right?

Good. Let's go.

There he is, look.

Don't tell me that's his wife.

What a hypocrite.

I know torture is an absolute silence.

Approach the hole from this direction and hide up among the trees.

Slow down, Sarge.

Oscar Blaketon?

No, wait. Harry Hawkswell, Sarge.

Oscar lent him his car when the other got smashed.

What's he doing here?

No idea.

You don't think he's something to do with this surveillance job, do you? Or

undercover special branch man?

It's Harry and Ben Norton.

I suppose they're involved here.

In what? I don't know. Whatever this surveillance business is all about.

Bellamy, you take the front of the hall. Crane, you and I go around the back.

Well, there's Mr Hawkswell's lot.

Oh, Bellamy.

At least we've found Mr Hawkswell.

You've seen him round the front talking to Ben Norton.

Go on. Do it while the blights are still in view.

Just run up to the window and lob them.

But what about the woman?

Get on with it.

There might be nothing more to do with the brigade after this.

I'm resigning. Go on!

I couldn't be here if he was there.

Got to be two different people.

That one's not Harry.

Get after him.

Sheila, Sheila.

It's okay.

You're all right, Ned.

Don't just stand there. Call an ambulance.

Well, well, well. So this is the dangerous and ruthless fellow I've been

from, is it?

Uh, yes.

One half of the local cell, it seems.

And this looks like the other half.

and dream.

You have been very lucky.

You have a few nasty burns to your chest and arms.

But in a week, you'll be as right as rain.

Now, that's who you bought the cigars for, is it?

Go on, Ben, tell me, who is it?

It's Judge Yardley.

What? The Judge Yardley?

You know, about a week now. A very private visit.

I see.

Well, I couldn't tell you this, honestly.

The whole thing had to be kept secret.

I wanted to, obviously.

Right.

I really didn't want to upset you.

You didn't? Not at all.

I just wondered why you so obviously didn't want to see me, and now I

and it's fine.

Call me sometime if you're not too busy.

Mrs. Kellett.

My office, now.

Mrs. Kellett, of course.

Harry had a steamy affair with her all those years ago, I remember.

So that's why he came back.

A frog who would a wooing girl.

I'm not surprised he's got a smile on his face.

Vernon Scripps, you fool.

You're not a puma at all, are you?

You're just some poor lost mutt.

Has somebody dumped you, have they?

Well, never you mind.

We'll soon get you home.

You could perhaps come and live with us as our guard dog.

I'll tell you what, David, you'll be thrilled.

Not so sure about Alfred, mind.

Just give me a...

No visitors, I said, while our guest was with us. And you agreed.

You knew how serious it was.

All the while you've been entertaining your boyfriend.

I beg your pardon?

Explicit instructions.

Mr Hawkswell is not my boyfriend.

Judge Yardley's whereabouts became known. You probably told your friend all

about him.

I greatly resent that remark.

And I resent the fact that I can't trust a member of my own staff.

Mr Hawkswell is an old friend. He wrote asking if he could visit, and I said

yes. I didn't know about Judge Yardley staying.

Not then.

And when I did, I didn't breathe a word to a soul, and that includes Harry.

I don't need this job, you know, Mr Norton. My husband left me with a very

pension. So if this is going to be your attitude... No, no, I'm sorry. That was

inexcusable. I shouldn't have been so rude.

This last week's been quite a strain.

Evidently.

Look, Mrs Keller... Oh, damn.

Oh!

Help! We were getting on so well.

Aye, but I don't think there's any future in it, not really.

The thing is, Harry, whenever you come into my life, things go wrong.

First time nearly broke my marriage up.

Second time, you nearly cost me my job.

Well, how about third time lucky?

I didn't risk it.

You're the girl for me.

I've always loved you.

Come on.

We could have a good life, you and me.

Do everything together.

You could help me with my stamps.

Oh, it wouldn't work.

To be honest, well, we've both changed over the years.

Our interests have diverged.

Diverged?

It's the stamps, Harry.

They bore me rigid.

Well, the judge has finally left with his minor, and I'm a free man.

So I was wondering if you'd help me fill him in.

Liz.

I've had a pretty stupid day in all sorts of ways, but the worst thing is

upset the woman I love.

I just want to say I'm sorry.

It's all been a bit of a disaster, really.

Seemed a good idea at the time, man.

What, looking up Mrs Kellett again?

I'd really forgotten her, you know.

Once Elsie died, I thought I'd track her down and...

Then I found out she was a widow, so I thought... you'd try her luck.

Well, we wrote for a bit and then I thought I'd come and see her.

She seemed so pleased to see me to start with.

Don't ever retire, Alf.

You have no idea how much I miss the job.

Well, it's a way of life, I suppose.

Aye, it is.

It's your family.

Cheer up.

We're all in the same boat.

Well, you've got this and Al's got Mrs Ventress.

I'd love to have more time for my fishing.

No, you wouldn't.

What have you added to me? It'd be like my stamp. You'd try and make it bigger

than it really was and bore everyone rigid.

Oh, come on, Harry.

That's what Mrs Kellett said. The stamps bored her rigid.

Oh, surely not.

Well, that was only her opinion, wasn't it? There must be lots of women who

would find them interesting.

What do you think, Alf?

Oh, yes, I'm sure there are.

Really? You've got a lot to offer, Harry.

Most women would jump at the chance.

Well, actually, I was thinking of trying one of them lonely arts columns, you

know, put an ad in. What do you think?

Oh, good idea.

Handsome widower with VBSC.

VBSC? Very big stamp collection.

Mr. Whitehead!

We're closed!

We've lost Mr. Vernon. He went looking for the wretched puma again.

That was hours ago. He's still not back.

Help! Vernon!

Mr. Vernon!

Help!

Help! Vernon!

Where are you?

I'm up a tree!

What are you doing?

Getting away from the puma!

Vernon!

I had to fight it off with me bare hands.

Come on down, you idiot.

I can't.

I don't believe this.

I'll get him.

No, hang on, Harry. Let David do it. No, no, no.

Climbing trees is one thing this old buffer is quite good at. Give us a leg

Alf.

What do you think?

The time has come to take action.

He'll be breathing. I'd say innocent till proved guilty.

And I'd say someone could have been killed. Let me know when you have some

evidence, sir.