Original subtitles

Harvey, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Harvey, why does a love chip stay in my memory?

Oh,

yeah.

You know I laugh when you laugh. See?

You failed.

Because then it wouldn't be a surprise.

And I know how you love surprises.

Well, that's unfair.

How long are you staying for?

Now, didn't Mother always tell you not to say that to guests as soon as they

arrive? It's rude, Charlie.

Stuff and nonsense.

Anyway, you're not a guest, you're my sister.

Gosh, darling, are you all right?

Just stiff.

Trapped nerve.

That's a long drive.

I'm trying to get to the half -past.

No, loads of time.

Well, I hope you've got time to tidy up this kitchen before you go.

Look, just because she works for some posh London law firm, I think she's

to have a problem with our kitchen.

Oh, my, please. Look at all this mess.

OK, OK, I'll clean up before I go.

Oh, and don't forget to post those bills.

I haven't got time, I'm sorry.

Look, if the electricity gets cut off while Caroline's here, don't blame me,

then.

I must say, old girl, you do look all in.

I've been driving half the night.

I'd known you were coming. I never would have given Mrs Fenner the week off.

Now, don't panic.

I'll make you some coffee myself.

Poor Charlie.

Are you sure you know how?

Of course I do.

Give me. What's going on?

There you go, Al.

Oh, sure.

Come on and talk, Al.

He has been asking for you. No, he hasn't. He's just teasing.

No, he's gone for a briefing at the division.

Are you kidding?

Last time they had Willow there, we spent the week rearranging the farming

system and picking up plays of it. And that was just the exciting part.

Right, listen up.

I've just come from Division. They've got a special job for us to do.

Not another administration system, Sarge. No, a drug surveillance

We'll be carrying it out on behalf of the Met.

Our target is a major league drug trafficker.

Apparently he has family connections in the area.

However, they don't think he's here to do business.

So we're just going to be babysitting?

Ours is a watching brief.

Plain clothes, obviously, so Bradley, Bellamy, get changed, quick as you can.

What do you want me to do, Sarge?

You've interest.

You can stay here and get on with everything else.

Any idea what's going on, Oscar?

Oh, aye.

There's a strike at the Whitby office, by all accounts.

They always seal the boxes, otherwise it all piles up.

I thought it must be something like that.

Oh, aye.

Why are you so interested?

Oh, I'm a man of wide curiosity, mate.

Won't keep you.

Lord, you're burning up.

I'm just tired.

What are you doing?

Burning Dr Somerby.

I don't need a doctor. It's just a touch of flu.

All the same, I'd be happy if she looked you over. She's a very pleasant young

woman. Ah, good morning. It's Lord... Patty.

I don't need a doctor, Charlie.

Now, be a good chap.

Pour me a nice cup of coffee.

So the post office is on strike. What's he got to do with us?

Bernard, there are punters out there with letters, parcels and packages that

want sending, and they are frustrated.

Yeah, well, Bernard, I'm not daft.

I know you're cooking up some air -brained scheme to start delivering

you can leave me out of it, all right? A private courier service could work.

We just specialise in urgent deliveries, any time, anywhere, and we charge

accordingly.

Anything from business documents to Granny's birthday card. They can't be

Sounds like a lot of hard work to me.

I'll split the profits 50 -50. Now, I can't say fairer than that.

What vehicle are you going to use? That old truck's no good.

Well, I thought... Oh, no.

Can't deliver parcels in the hearse. It's sacrilegious.

We deliver.

Dead or alive.

It's profile, it's visibility.

We're the blokes who run the courier service in a hearse. Bernard, who's

to forget that?

We are.

You can count me out.

Oh, well, it was just a thought.

Yeah, well, luckily, I've had a better one.

What on earth?

I'd like you to meet my son, Stuart.

With your son?

When did all this happen? Why didn't you tell me?

I did say in my letter we had quite a lot of catching up to do.

Well, you weren't kidding, were you?

As soon as the senior partners found out I was pregnant but with no plans to

marry, my brilliant career evaporated before my eyes.

They sacked you for getting pregnant?

They sacked me for bringing the good name of the firm into disrepute.

Couldn't they do that? Oh, yes.

The price you pay as a woman working in a city law firm.

Oh, he's a lovely baby.

Oh, you'll have a long sentry boy.

Oh, thank you.

Can I hold him?

Of course.

There you go.

Oh, he's gorgeous.

Unfortunately, he has the look of his father about him.

I didn't like to ask about that.

I think you're very lucky to settle down with your policeman.

Wasn't marriage an option for you, then?

I thought it was the Dartwood.

Then it turns out he was reluctant to divorce the wife he already had.

I know.

All those brains are no common sense.

That's what my mother says.

I think she may have a point.

Do you know, it's amazing how one man can accumulate so much worthless toot.

Well, Lord, we're an expert. He'd had a lifetime's practice.

I reckon this might be it.

Maybe not all toot.

World War II bike.

I did quite a bit of work on this for him a while back. I didn't think he'd

a chance to sell it.

He won't mind us borrowing it. Neat little rig.

And just the thing to convey the image of speed and dash that we require for

new business venture.

You do know how to ride one of these things, don't you?

Of course I do.

It's not exactly something you forget, is it?

Aye. Come on, let's give her a go.

Try again.

Don't build them like that anymore.

Oh, you said you could ride it.

I certainly don't remember that.

Don't know who's worn worse over the years, him or me.

You're going to come and unpack.

Just hold all your luggage upstairs. What a ton I can tell you.

You know, Charlie, it really makes a difference having somewhere to come home

to.

Well, I only wish you'd let me know.

Would have made sure Mrs. Fenner was here.

Yeah.

It's a blue Albus convertible.

Registration fits.

Looks like that's our man.

Right. Let's go after him and see if the rest of the information is correct.

Let's go and take a closer look.

The Lord actually has come out of the house to meet him.

And he's pretty pleased to see him, Sarge.

So.

Lord Ashfordly does indeed know our drugs trafficker.

The question is, Bradley, how well?

I must say, Henry, that it is very pleasant.

Cheers, Charlie.

You know, I was over at old Tommy Bing's only last week.

We were talking about that race horsey and your father used to end. Do you

remember? He was a pretty good judge of the horse, Flash, the old man.

But he was such a lousy gambler.

Oh, Patty, look who's just... What the hell are you doing here?

Are you following me or something?

Darling, I thought you'd be pleased to see me. Well, I'm not.

Will you please leave now?

Patty! Charlie, can I have a word?

I don't quite... Charlie, please.

You're going to have to explain to me what's going on.

I can't, exactly.

Henry Taggast was the son of our father's oldest friend.

Well, the fellow may be a bit of a damned hippie, but I'm sure he'll grow

that one of these days.

Look, I've been seeing quite a lot of Hal in London recently.

What do you mean?

You and he, you're not... Are you?

Something like that, yes.

Well, why didn't you... Tell me. That is good news.

Charlie, I want you to ask him to leave.

Now. Chuck him out. I can't do that. I've just invited him to lunch.

Oh, no.

And to stay for a few days. You haven't.

Look.

You two have had a bit of a... Yes. As people do when they're... You want me to

have a word with him, I'd be only too happy to. You know, tell him to smarten

his ideas up a bit. Oh, you don't understand.

He's such a lovely baby.

You are lucky.

I hope you're not getting broody.

Well, maybe just a bit.

Gosh.

If I could be back in the office, I'd swap places with you tomorrow.

Well, that must be hard for you, being on your own.

Mike and I have talked about having kids.

Jackie, if you have a baby, is Mike going to give up his career in the

force? No, of course not.

I think...

I might enjoy a few years out bringing up a family.

Believe me, you wouldn't.

Opportunities like this, Oscar, well, they don't come along every day of the

week. Yeah, well, thank goodness for that.

Look, I've done all the market research.

I've got a top -notch conveyance. And with your experience as an ex

we can't go wrong.

Look, I don't much favour this strike, but I've got no intention of going into

competition with the Royal Mail.

And I have even less intention of going into business with you.

Why not? We've made a great team.

Look, let me show you something, Oscar.

Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention for one moment? How many of

attempted to post a letter today and were thwarted?

Well, fear not.

Help is at hand.

Any time, anywhere.

That's our motto.

All right, Vernon, that's enough.

You see, Oscar?

Give the public what they want.

You're not shouting for business in my pub. You can do that somewhere else.

that could prove a very short -sighted decision on your part.

I'll live with it.

Yes, I know, Lord Ashfordly, the member of the police authority.

Yes.

Yes.

No, it is not my intention to cause offence to his lordship. I merely want

type his telephone.

No.

Right, sir. Well, I'll keep you informed.

Won't you let us do it, then, Sarge?

Lord Henry Tadcaster is a member of a very old and aristocratic family.

And he has important connections in the county, as we know.

And the Chief Constable is a man whose mind is much exercised by questions of

social status, which is probably how he came to be Chief Constable.

You don't think that Ashfordly's in on it, though, do you?

No.

But if he does have a villain as a houseguest, whether he knows it or not,

entitled to keep tabs on him, Ventriff, and that's exactly what we're going to

do.

not a sausage.

Look, is Craddock really serious about this?

I think he is. He seems to have really got the bit between his teeth.

Well, rather you than me, mate.

I'm off to have my tea.

Naughty, naughty.

I'd prefer it if you'd knock.

The poor old Charlie thinks you're off the source, you know.

He's just been telling me how well you've been doing, kicking the booze and

that, plus what a jolly good all -round egg you are.

I think he hears wedding bells.

What do you want, Hal?

I want you to forgive me and take me back.

I did what you wanted.

Now, why can't you just let me be?

What I wanted?

Sweetheart, I think the decision was entirely yours.

I certainly didn't force you. That would be totally against my philosophy. Why

can't you just go away and leave me alone?

Pretty, how can you be so cruel? Like I'm chasing after you all this way, and

what thanks do I get? Not even a little kiss.

You make me...

You know, I've been thinking London's becoming a real drag these days.

A nice little holiday in the country, that's just what I need.

It was really cool of Charlie to invite me to stay, don't you think?

It means you and I can have some more fun.

See you at dinner.

I think he's a natural.

Babies and dogs, they always respond to me. Are you sure you don't mind having

him for the whole day? I promise you we don't mind.

I can't tell you what to treat him to the day of.

How long is it since you've seen your friends in New York?

Ages.

But then it's ages since I've seen anyone.

I might get to lead on a job, too.

That sounds like your taxi.

Thank you for this.

You go off and enjoy yourself.

I've just got to pop to the office to pick up some paper.

I won't be long. Well, hang on. Hang on. What about me?

Well, you're not working till later, are you? Well, no, but what am I going to

do with him?

Well, I'm sure you'll cope, darling.

Anyway, it'll be good practice.

See you later.

I've been run off my feet since seven this morning.

People phoning up to ask about the service and dropping in.

This would happen on the week David's off at his auntie's.

We had a saying in the SAS.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

When were you ever in the SAS?

I did my national service in the barracks next door.

Where's the first delivery, then?

Take your pick.

I've been trying to sort it roughly into areas.

I don't know how the post office does it. Half of these places I've never

of. Let's do the easy ones first.

Most of this lot come from Ground Home Farm.

I'll show you on the map.

You go up to the top of the valley here.

Turn right. Never mind, I'll find it.

Oh, dear.

Come on, here we go.

There you go.

Good boy.

Hey, what's happened here, then?

You start coming the night.

I don't know. He belongs to a friend of Jackie's.

Oh, bless its cotton socks.

Hey. Oh, well, I was hoping for a brew, but I can see you're busy.

No, go on, go on. Put the kettle on. I'll be in in a minute.

You're all right, aren't you? Hey.

Excuse me, love.

Can you tell me if the road up there goes by Home Farm?

Play to yourself.

Look, I'll see you later.

Yeah, let's see if I can get a few hours of showtime.

Hiya, Tom.

Hiya, Jackie.

What do you do with the baby?

Me? What do you mean, me? I left him with you.

No, I put him in the pram out here.

OK, this is a joke, right, because I left you on your own with him.

No, seriously, I put him in the pram. Phil saw me.

Yeah, the baby was in the pram.

Come on, stop kidding.

Jackie, I'm not kidding.

Oh, Mike.

Knocked on every door in Aidensfield.

Nothing. No -one seen driving away.

Well, I've questioned everyone in the pub. No -one seen anything, Serge.

We'd better get on to CID Division.

It looks like we've got a kidnapping on our hands.

Why would you steal a baby like that? It must be some kind of slick joke.

Oh, Caroline, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry.

But where was he?

He was outside in the pram.

And then he was gone.

It was my fault. I was meant to be keeping an eye on him.

They don't do the stuff.

We've already started a full search, Miss Hall. I wonder if you could help us

with a few details.

Of course. I've got a picture of Stuart, too.

Where exactly were you this morning?

I went to visit some old friends in York, but they weren't in, so I wandered

around a bit.

Weren't they expecting you?

No, not really. They knew I was coming up here, and I said I might pop in, but

didn't say exactly when.

York's a bit of a way to go on the off chance, isn't it?

What are you saying?

I was talking to Arthur, the new baby, for three months.

I suppose I was just glad of the day off. I didn't mind what I did, really.

Well, I'm sure the break was a very welcome one.

Oh, I wish I'd never gone. I should never have left.

Where have you been?

I got lost.

What's that?

Your next delivery.

You're joking.

Anything, anytime, anywhere.

Nobody said anything about anything.

Apparently you did in the pub last night. You also took payment in cash and

double scotches.

I don't remember that.

Is Miss Hall in touch with the baby's father?

I don't think so.

But you'll have to ask her.

Pardon a young woman.

Bringing up a child on her own.

Is it a situation she copes with?

I haven't seen Caroline for nearly 18 months.

When she turned up carrying a baby, he could have knocked me down with a

feather. Kept it a secret, did she?

She lost her job over it.

Still, I don't see what bearing all this has on the kidnapping.

I'm just trying to build up an overall picture.

You think the baby's father may be involved?

It is possible.

Well, he's a married man.

He dumped her flat when he discovered she was pregnant.

Her life does seem to be pretty well ruined by the advent of this child,

wouldn't you say?

In some ways, yes.

What are you suggesting?

I'm just trying to keep an open mind, Mrs Bradley.

I suggest you do the same.

Oh, come on, Patty, open up.

You can't stay cooped up in your room all day. Why don't you come for a drive

with me?

A baby's been kidnapped and Craddock's got us running after this.

Come on, Matt, it's not your fault.

Hey, you try telling Jackie that.

Look, you put the baby out in the pan.

People do it all the time.

You couldn't expect any island to come of it.

That's the idea coming. Look, what are they going to do that we can't do

locally, eh?

Well, maybe Craddock's right.

Maybe you're too involved.

Let's go back a bit.

Hi. What's he up to?

He looked right at me.

I think I'd blown it.

You know, join the club.

Mr Bamford, I've got your end.

Not to do with me.

And I'm not Bamford.

This is Green End Farm, isn't it? Yeah, love, this is Green Hill Farm.

Really, this is Green End Farm.

On Ashfordly side of the river, though. How far's that?

About ten miles.

You might make it before dark.

If it's just a mild sedative, it'll help you get some rest.

You know, there are some people, my parents included, probably, who'd call

judgment on me.

That's very harsh.

How can I be anything but a bad mother?

I should never have had a baby in the first place. Caroline, you must stop

torturing yourself.

If anyone's to blame, it's me and Mike. Time on my own. That's understandable.

What if something terrible's happened to him?

I couldn't bear it.

I need to ask your professional opinion on Miss Hall's mental state.

Oh, she's very distressed, but in circumstances that are hardly

Did the distress precede her baby's disappearance?

I'm not sure I'm with you.

What I need to know is, in your opinion, is she capable of harming her own

child? I'm not a psychiatrist, Sergeant. I couldn't possibly say.

But you wouldn't dismiss it out of hand?

What are you implying? That she kidnapped her own child?

Do you have any grounds for these suspicions? She's a young woman trapped

baby she didn't want. That's hardly evident.

It certainly isn't.

I hope you can substantiate such a monstrous allegation, Sergeant.

You're a lawyer.

Look at the circumstances and the probabilities.

Who would take a baby from outside a police station?

Think about it.

You know her better than us.

They didn't want us to be together.

But I wasn't going to let that happen.

Was I?

No.

Uncle Charlie.

We don't want to let him in on our secret, do we?

I'll be down in a minute.

Can I pull you down?

Up here.

to leave a little nightlight on for you.

And I'll be back very, very soon.

Oh, I've been on that Bikes so long, I'm saddled sore.

I told you this wasn't going to be easy.

Now you know why the penny post turned into the Royal Mail.

Don't scoff, Oscar.

When Vernon's Vikings are one of this nation's premier international courier

services, you will be standing behind that bar bragging that you once knew us.

Won't you, Bernard?

Yeah, I'm sure.

Here, sir.

Large scotch, please.

Oh, hello, Philip.

Is it true what we've heard about this kiddie being kidnapped from outside the

police house?

Yeah, I gather.

And you're sat here drinking?

Well, that's the police round here for you. Anyone wanted to cart dispersions

the local constabulary in this pub could find themselves barred. Didn't I see

you in Whitby earlier?

Whitby?

Er, no, don't think so.

But you are the local copper.

Thank you. Yes.

One of them.

And a kid is being kidnapped. That's terrible.

You know, I always think the police do a wonderful job.

Hal Tadcatch, by the way.

Can I get you a drink?

Where's Caroline?

She's up there.

Although I doubt she's sleeping.

I feel so...

Look, Mike, stop apologising.

We want to know.

Anyway.

Anyway what?

Well, Craddock seems to think it might have been Caroline herself.

Caroline? Well, exactly.

I mean, if it was her, what's she done with the baby?

No, no.

She couldn't have had the baby.

Could she?

What's the trouble?

I'm not absolutely sure.

I mean, there is such a thing as postnatal depression.

This is very cosy.

What do you want?

She's pretty.

It's a boy.

Is it?

You know the local plot have been following me around. You haven't been

to anyone, have you?

You know how I hate chatterboxes.

Why can't you just let me go?

I'm not going to... Tell the police about your wretched business.

Women don't dump me, Patricia. I dump them. This is not over until I say.

OK?

How did I ever get involved with a madman like you?

You're a weak and fairly stupid woman. You'd fall in love with any man who was

halfway nice to you.

That didn't last, though.

I hope the police do get you and lock you up for a very long time.

I think on the present form that's a tad unlikely.

You are a despicable creature.

I don't get abusive, darling.

I don't go around stealing babies.

Anyone who did that would be completely bonkers now, wouldn't they?

And our good old plod would most certainly lock them up. for a very, very

long time.

I just need to pop to the village.

There are some things I must... Patty!

Bradley, call Dr. Farby.

I understand you run a private courier service.

Yeah. The strike will be over soon. I'd wait if I was you.

I need a special delivery to London.

London? It's on behalf of Lord Ashfordly. It's a birthday surprise for

of his. He'll make it worth your while.

We don't go as far as London.

Hang about, Bernard.

Oh, what exactly was it you wanted delivering?

Just a couple of cases of fresh crabs and lobsters from Whittedon.

Livestock. I'm afraid that'll come very expensive. There is an additional

handling charge.

£100 for the round trip.

Oh.

Well, we wouldn't want to discommode Lord Ashfordly, would we, Bernard?

Here's the address in London.

Pick the cases up from Whitley Docks later this morning.

And here's your fee.

Oh.

Thank you very much.

Pleasure doing business with you, sir.

How are you going to get a load of crabs down to London?

Never mind that. That's the idiot that put me off the road.

Anyway, I'm not. You are.

Me? In the truck.

Drive carefully.

You don't look too happy with life, Bernie.

He only wants me to go down to London with a load of crabs for Lord Ashfordly.

Really?

That bloke in the office, he's a pal of Ashfordly's, isn't he?

It were him that arranged it.

When did you have the operation?

Wednesday.

I discharged myself from the clinic and drove up here.

I thought, if I can have a rest...

And have you been bleeding fairly continually since the termination?

Yes.

Well, I think our best plan is to admit you to hospital.

No, I can't. You fainted because you've lost a lot of blood.

If this situation isn't dealt with now, there could be serious complications.

I'm going to call an ambulance.

Right, Ventress, that does sound promising.

Keep me posted, will you? I knew she was ill the moment she arrived, but she

absolutely refused to see a doctor.

I should have insisted.

No, please don't take me to hospital. There's nothing to be scared of. You'll

fine, I promise you.

That's wrong. She's going to be all right. She needs urgent treatment.

Look, it's a gynecological problem. She's lost a lot of blood, which is why

fainted. I see.

Try not to worry.

Charlie! Don't worry, old girl. Charlie!

I must say, Alf, it's awfully good of you to come with me on your day off.

Oh, no.

It's you that's doing me the favour, Bernie.

If I'd stopped at home, Mrs Ventress would only find me something to do.

So, where are we going to pick up these crabs, then?

I'll leave you the instructions.

A bit precise, isn't it?

Seems an awful lot of trouble and expense to go to for a fish supper.

Well, you know what these toffs are like.

You know, I was always jealous of you when we were at university.

Jealous of me? Why?

It was all so easy for you.

It was not.

Well, you went to all the parties, you burnt the candle at both ends and still

got a first.

I went like stink.

I was completely convinced I was going to fail all my exams and get sent down

ignominiously.

The police think I've done away with my own baby, don't they?

Sometimes new mothers can't cope.

They get postnatal depression and... end up doing something desperate.

Do you think I've...

You do, don't you?

No, of course I don't.

You're not sure, though, are you?

You've changed.

So have you.

I always thought you were the high flyer.

I never thought you'd end up in the back of Beyond married to a policeman.

Well, Ashfordly's not the back of Beyond.

Let's be honest about it. We've neither of us ended up with the lives we dreamt

of, have we?

But you had the job that you wanted.

It must have been devastating to give that up.

Just when your career was really taking off. When I was pregnant, I was so angry

about it all.

Why had I been caught out?

Why me?

When Stuart was born.

Well, I'd lost a lot, but I'd gained something far more valuable.

I'd do anything, anything, as long as my baby's all right.

Oh, that's great. I'm supposed to hunt crates of shellfish now, too.

Let's just get it on the truck, and then you and I need to have a chat.

Constable Bradley was wondering if you felt up to having a talk with him.

Why not?

Hello,

Mrs. Brewster.

You know we're looking for a baby that's gone missing.

His mother's extremely upset.

It's a terrible thing to lose a child, isn't it?

You must know that.

I didn't want to have an abortion.

But he made me.

And I found out about the kind of man he was. I didn't want his child.

I... I thought it was for the best.

Still, it must have been extremely difficult.

I was always planning to have a baby one day.

But the years skip by, don't they?

I don't expect I'll have another chance now, at my age.

Do you want to tell me about the baby and the pram?

He was outside, all on his own. Poor little thing.

I was just driving by. I didn't mean... I only wanted to

help him.

Take care of him.

I didn't mean any harm.

Where is he now, Mrs. Brutha?

What's going on?

I've got your crab and lobster.

You're supposed to take them to London. I gave you the address.

You said they were for Lord Ashfordly.

To be delivered in London, you moron.

We don't do Londons too far.

What, and you think I gave you 100 quid to go from Whitby to here?

Well, you'll have to talk to Vernon about the money. He handles all that.

where are you going? You can't just leave these here.

I must be off. I've got some poultry to deliver.

I'll take charge of those if you don't mind, sir.

Where have you been, Bradley? I want a word with you. Can you just hang on a

minute, sir?

I've just seen my brother down the road. He said if I don't give you the hundred

quid, I'm going to get arrested.

That's not quite right.

But the money's still got to be confiscated. There's evidence.

Well, what if I've spent it? Then you are in trouble, Mr. Scripps.

Ah, PC Bradley, come on in.

I'm sorry to barge in on you, Lordship. Oh, I kept thinking I could hear a baby

crying, but it didn't make any sense anyway. Went up the old nursery.

There he was.

Seems quite a jolly little fellow to me.

Eats like a horse, though.

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Why doesn't love just stay in my memory?