Original subtitles

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does a love kiss stay in my memory?

Have a drink.

Have a drink.

I'll phone the vet.

Josh Roberts.

I'll come straight over, Jim.

Maniac.

Come here.

Oh.

There we are.

It's serious colic.

It's in agony.

I'm going to have to settle it now.

Sergeant Craddock, Ashfordly Police.

Oh, aye.

You'd best go in.

Go on.

Is this estate wagon yours?

No, it's Josh Roberts, the vet.

Perhaps you'd tell Mr Roberts I'd like a word.

He's busy.

That do.

Sorry, Jim.

Miss Vanna wants a word.

Oh? Sergeant Craddock, Ashfordly Police.

Craddock?

He must be new.

Fairly new, but we have met.

Oh?

I'm terrible on faces.

Animals, yes. People, no.

We met on the road outside.

That was me you forced onto the verge.

Now you mention it, I do remember someone hogging the road.

Have you consumed alcohol, Mr Roberts?

What? I can smell alcohol on your breath.

Oh.

A policeman with a strong sense of smell, Jim.

Well, if you've a turn of pace to match, we should tell the huntmaster.

Have you been drinking, sir?

And what if I have? It would be a serious matter.

I've just put down a marvellous animal.

That's a serious matter.

Notwithstanding the side event.

Notwithstanding nothing.

Can't you see you're intruding on grief with your nitpicking?

If I were you, Sergeant, I'd let the matter rest.

You sure this is the best place, Mr Greengrass?

Look at this.

The county show starts about ten, they'll be streaming past here then.

Why don't we get a door on the shore ground?

We'll do it that way.

We'll catch everybody's eye. Ah, including the local tech to rent.

No, this way we cop the clients before they even get there and don't cost us

out.

Oh, I see.

Hey, when you're laying the stuff out, try not to be too tidy. They're like a

bit of genuine rustic charm. And if anybody asks you, you shear the sheep

the rugs and your mum whittle the wood for the walking sticks.

I can't tell lies like that, Mr Greengrass.

They're not lying, David.

It's called retailing.

Does anyone know what this is?

I just wondered.

Because since the new breathalyser law came into force, we failed to secure a

single conviction.

Division are asking if this patch has been overrun by Methodists.

Oh, my test showed up negative, Sarge.

Never mind, Sarge.

Sarge, those of us who've been here a while, we've got used to Division

They know nought about policing a rural beat.

Meaning?

Well, folks round here need some sort of a social life.

So, we look the other way while they mow people down.

No thank you, Ventress.

I want results, and if that doesn't suit the odd local, too bad.

Right, on your way.

Bradley, a word.

Right, Sergeant.

What do you know about Josh Roberts, the vet?

Well, only what I've heard.

He's well regarded round and about, so knows his business.

Take the first opportunity to pull him over, will you?

What, to breathalyze him?

Judging by the brush I had with him last night, I'd guess he's more or less

permanently pickled.

It's Sue Driscoll. I'm here to see Sergeant Craddock.

Ah, shame, that.

Sarge! Yes?

Miss Driscoll, to see you.

Ah, yes.

Come through to my office.

Yes.

Lotta. What for?

You're dribbling.

Hi, David.

How's business?

Oh, just waiting for the rush to start.

Claude left you on your own?

Oh, I... Well, actually, he's in the village. He'll be back in a minute.

How much is this?

It's on my list.

Three pounds, ten shillings.

What? Three pounds and ten shillings for a stick?

Well, it's locally made, like.

In Taiwan?

Aye.

Mr Greengrass said it was just up the road.

Yeah, and on a bit.

What about the rug?

Two pounds.

Once Miss Driscoll has updated the filing system, and satisfied all of my

secretarial requirements, she may, of course, be free to help in the duty

Great.

It's just my typewriter's well knackered.

And since she'll be located in the duty room, I hope you'll all choose your

words with that in mind.

Sir, where exactly in the duty room will Miss Driscoll be located?

If we're doing our job properly, three men shouldn't be in there, Ventress.

It's a duty room, not a smoking club.

And if the occasion demands you're all here together...

We'll just have to budge up a bit. No trouble.

Miss Driscoll can have Mike's desk.

Hey. You've got one in Aidensfield.

Oh, yeah, right. Now bring it with me, Phil.

Well, when you're here, you can share mine.

Positive thinking.

Thank you, Bellamy.

Hello there.

before then, eh?

You haven't even got a lease or a collar on, have you?

I want it paid.

48 pennies, 24 sixpences, 10 two -shilling bits.

That's right.

I give pensions out here, not fodder for slot machines.

Got yourself a little friend for Alfred Claude?

What are you talking about?

There's a dog outside.

What?

It's nothing to do with me.

What colour is it?

White. Oh, not him again.

I made the mistake of feeling it scratched two days ago. It's been

around me ever since.

Funny. Don't look that mad.

Oh, you!

Off!

Which is more than I can say for you, Claude.

Fancy leaving David on his own with that store?

What store?

Oh, Claude set up a store on the road to the county show and left David in

charge. What's wrong with that?

Well, for starters, he hasn't got any change.

I was just trying to fix that one time. Now I get it. Here we are.

What's this?

That's your pension.

What about the change I asked for? It's in my till.

And it's staying there.

I should have known better to expect service from you. I hope that dog bites

hand that feeds it.

He'll go straight to the pub now and raise our float.

Still, I can't complain. I've got some good bargains from his store.

Bargains? Off Greengrass?

Yeah. I mean, I don't know whether David's getting the prices right, but I

wasn't asking.

God, is that the time?

It's really flown today, hasn't it?

Generally,

the case when everything's new to you.

Yeah, well, I suppose so. But I'm just going to say cheerio now to Sergeant

Craddock, then I'll be on my way.

Oh, by the way, I've put some mugs to soak in some bleach, just to see if we

get them looking something like... Something like what?

Lean, Alf.

Spinner's in concert.

Tickets for show next week.

You'll never guess.

What? She's only got to wash the teapot.

Right.

I'll see you all tomorrow, then.

See you soon.

See you.

Bye, Sue.

A breathalyser, Pearl.

Off the record.

You'll be popular.

Well, tell your regulars to be sensible if they want to keep their licences.

There you are, Josh.

And that goes for you too, Josh.

Moderation and all. You know me.

Hello,

Paul. Mr Ventress. How are you?

I'm well, thanks.

And yourself?

Is Whitby suiting you? Yeah, fine, thanks.

Well, your dad's waiting for you.

He's looking forward to seeing you.

Yeah?

He misses you, you know.

How is he?

Oh, he's a bit lonely.

More friends than he can count.

But, um, well, you know, since your mum died.

Anyway, it's good to see you.

Thanks for the time.

Yes, dear, what would you like?

A view of the bar would be nice.

We're all late.

Half a bitter, please.

Oh, I know. Mary, no son of mine drinks halves.

Halfs.

How are things?

Well, so -so. You?

Fine.

Joe, why the call?

Can we find a seat somewhere?

Don't tell me you're drinking halves and sitting down.

Cheers.

Joe, what's up?

One of the vets is leaving the Whitby practice.

The others have offered me a partnership.

Oh.

Expensive?

Yeah.

That's why you... Money?

Yeah.

You get on with them?

Yeah, more or less. More than you get on with me?

Yeah, I suppose, yeah. The brain's tested.

This is hard for me, Dad.

So make it easy.

You can have a partnership with me for nothing.

We tried working together.

Things'll be different now.

It's no use, Dad.

If you don't want to lend me the money, say so and I'll go.

I won't mention it again.

Marry it up.

Two more the same.

I'm all right, thanks.

There's someone on the phone for you, Josh.

It sounds urgent.

Why are you doing this?

Look, I'm only asking you to think. Yeah, no.

Fine.

Have the money.

Take the cash and run.

It's been a Western.

That's a good read.

Haven't you got anything classic?

Classic? Yeah, like a Dickens or a du Maurier.

A du Maurier isn't classy.

It's about an inch thick.

What do you want, a book or a Dawson?

Aidensfield Police, DC Bradley speaking.

You saw Robert do it?

All right.

Leave it with me.

Mr. Roberts.

Constable Bradley.

Oh, Constable.

Well, what are you doing here?

Well, I was waiting for you, actually.

Oh, sounds ominous. Come in.

I got a call from someone who said they saw you at the Adenfield Arms earlier

this evening.

Oh, yes.

They said they saw you reverse your Volvo into a bicycle whilst trying to

manoeuvre out of the car park. Is that true?

Bicycle?

Yes, sir.

Well, I'm sorry.

I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.

What, you didn't see or hear anything?

No.

Well, the person was sure it was your car.

Well, what can I say?

I was called out on an emergency, but mine may have been on that.

How badly was the cycle damaged?

It'll certainly need some straightening out.

Don't we all?

Well, I better pay for it, hadn't I?

That would be very kind. I'll tell the owner. Very well, Constable.

Case closed.

Not quite, sir.

Had you been drinking?

What sort of a damn poor question is that? It was a Pope car park.

Can I pour you one?

No, thank you, sir. I don't think it's a wise idea if you have one either.

What?

It might distort the result.

If you've flown the laws on drinking and driving, sir, sooner or later you'll be

caught and disqualified.

Disqualified? The only veteran of ten -mile raiders of Aidensfield, don't be

daft.

It's an absolute offence.

The bench has no discretion to be lenient.

Oh, dear.

Is that in Sergeant Craddock's little red book?

Well, if you'd met the sergeant, you'd know how keen he is.

That's not the word I'd use.

Mr Roberts.

So...

If you've done.

Constable.

Don't fret about Sergeant Craddock.

I'll deal with him.

A heaven -sent opportunity to show we mean business and you've bluffed it.

Well, he poured himself a drink as soon as he arrived, Sarge. Well, you

shouldn't have let him get in the house.

I asked for results and I meant it.

Sarge.

Right.

I've got a complaint from Lord Ashfordly about a stall that Greengrass has set

up on the road to the county show.

He reckons it's causing an obstruction.

You'd better go and have a look, Bellamy.

Right, Sarge. And on your way back, Mr Blaketon wants someone to collect a

dog. A stray dog?

Docile, he says.

But then he would, wouldn't he?

Right, get on with it.

Morning, Josh.

Morning.

How's your day?

Oh, nicely, I reckon.

Thanks for coming. A fast foaling, I want to be sure.

You'll be on hand if we need you? Yeah, of course.

Police for me, too.

Hello, John. Hello.

Hello. Easy.

Not at all.

It'll be fine.

Any doubt, give me a call.

Thank you.

Oh.

Come for your judge, Constable.

Hello, Peter. What's the problem? Come in.

Lizzie? Hi.

You've been a bit of a hazard here, David. You'll have to push the stuff

bit. Excuse me!

Couldn't you have gone along?

Sit down.

Not a satisfied customer.

Aye.

Why haven't Mr Blateson's bought something?

He told us not to tell Mr Greengrass, though.

Excuse me.

How much is this?

Now, let me guess. You want the station polecat muted.

What's his name, Craddock?

No. I want someone put to sleep.

Who? You.

I reckon you need two weeks solid.

You little what. Oh, what's up, Alf? I'm busy.

Look, you've had a run -in with Craddock and another with Mike Bradley.

Maybe it's third time unlucky.

So what do you suggest?

Leave off the turps. I'm a one -man band, Alf, on call, day and night, seven

days a week.

You expect me to give up my only comfort and go tea -turple?

Craddock's not going to let this go.

Why don't you give it a rest?

Alf, if a farmer ever said I couldn't do my job, I'd maybe listen.

As it is, I'll take my pleasure when I choose.

How long's it been hanging around here?

Oh, about a week.

Somebody must be missing it.

Well, if it was somebody in the village, it'd have surfaced by now.

Well, come on, lad. Let's be having you.

In you go.

I put a card in the window, just in case.

They're so itchy.

They're driving me mad.

They're bite marks, Gina.

I thought they might be.

Have you a pet at home?

Well, my Auntie Mary's got a calf.

Why? Well, I'm fairly sure they're flea bites.

Come on. Let's have you out.

There we go.

It's a lovely dog.

Let's get you in here.

In your new home.

Come here.

We're going to come back with some grub for you later.

Oh, Sarge.

I've got a farmer on the phone going crackers.

He's expecting a visit from Josh Roberts.

Only Roberts says he can't move until we give him the okay.

What?

Well, unless we breathalyze him first.

Roberts' idea of a joke, is it?

Well, I've got the farmer hanging on.

Sergeant Craddock, I understand your vet is insisting we test his fitness to

drive.

Well, I commend his caution, but if he's made himself unfit to do his job,

that's no concern of ours.

Kindly leave this line free for proper police business.

Yes? So I suggest you find yourself a vet who can turn up sober.

Let's start it.

Ah, Constable.

Back again so soon.

Have you brought your little box of tricks?

Good light. Hey, good light.

Watch out!

You lunatic!

What are you up to now, then, Claude?

What do you mean?

See that car?

Yeah, just about, cos you were speeding, weren't you?

Been in the pub, have you?

You know, Michael, sometimes your powers of deduction amaze me.

Been drinking, have you?

No. I've been making the delivery.

Well, you won't mind blowing into this, then, will you?

What's the verdict?

100 % proof.

All right, Claude, it's negative.

Disappointed, are we? In the future, keep your eye on other road users.

How long's this going to take?

Depends. On what?

If we can catch them.

I'm dehorning and castrating his bull cars.

My shift ends in an hour.

Jim, I've brought a mate.

Hi, Alf.

Oh, hello.

Better put those on.

Eh? They can be finished as soon as you can be away.

What's that for?

Local anaesthetic.

It hurts us more than it does their mouth.

Shining light in the season of the year.

Oh, it's still no good.

Call Josh, tell him we've got an oversight.

Well, get him now or we'll be losing both.

Josh Roberts.

I'm sorry, Sheila, I'm under orders.

But we've still got time.

You'll have to get on to the man who matters now in this part of the world.

Craddock?

Who?

What?

Listen, who gave you this number?

Now, this is a private number.

He may very well be waiting, but I'm sorry, I can't assist you any further.

What's up?

I have to go and collect him myself.

There's no time. We'd better do what we can. Come on.

I know you've got a lot on, but do you think you've got time? Do you think you

might type that up for me?

Sorry. Sorry, Phil, I can't.

Ah. Too busy?

No, it's just, um... I can't read your writing.

Where's Craddock? Down in Bedbury, like?

What's the matter, gentlemen? Don't gentleman us off. Just expect him out

In connection with what?

Murder.

What murder? The murder of a calf. And who knows what else if he had his way.

Go on, bring him out. We know he's here, we've seen his car.

All right, you two, just calm down.

We'll calm down when we've had our say.

What's going on? Oh, showing your face, are you? And you are? Jackson, you spoke

to my wife last night.

Oh, yes.

I had the vet waiting for your word that you had to have your beauty sleep.

Well, we had none, and a dead calf at the end of it.

And you're blaming me?

Who else?

Why not try a vet?

I have. He was ready and waiting for one of your men to call.

Do you think I'd run in a taxi service?

You did before.

What? Alf Ventress drove him over to my place yesterday.

Is this true, Ventress?

Yes, sir.

You want to try serving this community like Alf instead of blighting it? I

this community by enforcing the law without fear or favour.

And no favours for farmers, eh?

No vets.

Come on.

We're wasting our time.

Does it ever occur to you that alcohol might affect Mr Robert's ability to

out his job?

We don't need you here, Craddock. But we need him.

And we've brought a reminder of that for your doorstep.

Be what you're doing, Sue.

I want a dictator letter.

Ventress? Yes, sir?

I suggest you find a shovel.

Is it a rash?

No, no, no, no, no.

Have you a pet, Oscar?

Well, I did have a cat, but when I moved to the post office, it did a runner.

Why? Well, they're flea bites.

Flea bites?

It's that ruddy dog.

Read that back to me, will you?

To the Secretary of the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons, dear sir.

Any more of this and retirement starts to look like an attractive proposition.

You and Mrs B all day together?

Wouldn't work out. Well, it's a risk, I grant you. I'd have to keep the week in

her in a high shelf.

I'd probably see out a year or two.

I want a word with you. Oh?

For making foul insinuations about my cat.

Maggie, I'm sorry. Could I have a word?

Yes, of course, Al.

Make mine a half.

Right.

Gina was all for using a hoover on the poor thing. And I'm sure it wasn't her

blame. Well, if it's any consolation, I think you may be right.

I don't think either of them will climb down.

And who's right?

Well, Sergeant Craddock. The law's the law.

You keep on putting it across right.

What about Paul?

Would he talk contentions with Father?

Well, they're barely speaking to each other. You know what Josh was like after

Maddy died.

Well, Paul stuck it as long as he could.

I was wondering, Maggie, you wouldn't talk to Josh.

Well, if you think it would make any difference.

Oh, thanks very much.

What's the matter with you?

Something's eating me alive.

Yeah, Maggie.

It's only instant, I'm afraid.

That's just something to cheer it up.

Oh, no, thank you. So, do we do this standing up or sitting down?

What? The lecture.

That's why you're here, isn't it?

I'm here as a friend, Josh.

Who sent you?

Another friend. Oh, so many friends.

Yes, you are.

You need to stop working so hard.

I can't. It's all I've got now.

Besides, I get fed and watered wherever I go.

Fed and fated, you mean.

Why are you drinking so much?

I gather the foreplay is over.

Why the drinking?

I like it.

More than when Muddy was alive?

Yes.

Much, much more.

People think a lot of you, Josh.

They look up to you. They respect you. But more than that, they depend on you.

And together we'll get rid of this man Craddock.

No, Josh, it isn't going to happen. He's only doing his job.

I'll keep on like this and you'll have more dead calves on your conscience.

You think that was my fault?

Or wasn't it?

You need a break.

From that, at least.

Next you're over.

Will you try?

Oh, you're a doctor fellow's a lucky man, Maggie.

Pity.

I'd schemes for you myself.

Will you try?

You can tell the man Craddock.

I'll be as good as gold.

Well, you can tell him yourself.

There's a stray dog in the station Ken also want you to take a look at.

In here. Right.

All right.

Keep it down.

Well, how many fleas?

Well, how do I know?

They don't put their hands up to be counted.

What's wrong with the dog?

Well, we're not sure.

We thought it might be an opportunity to... build bridges.

Right. Who's paying?

Don't you normally send a bill?

Credit to them that earns it.

Here, Mr Roberts, out of the station float.

Yes, Sarge.

Ooh, cash on the nail, eh?

Thank you.

Thank you for coming.

My pleasure.

How much will that be, Mr Roberts?

Oh, a couple of quid will do.

Is that all?

Aye. There's nothing wrong with it.

What? No, er... No, clean as a whistle.

Grand little dog.

Yes,

yes, it's perfectly possible.

Flea eggs could stay dormant in a rug until the temperature rose enough to

them.

Don't jump the gun, Oscar.

You could be imagining it.

Where's Craddock?

He's had to go out.

Why? What's happened? The two -faced weasel's complained to my professional

body. A 30 -year unblemished record, and he questions my competence?

Well, he can tell him from me.

All bets are off.

I'll be back in town to clock off.

Gina.

Scott. Large.

Dan.

What's happening?

She's struggling, sir.

What's the problem?

I don't know.

Could be a breach.

See, the trouble with Sergeant Craddock is he don't realise we use this stuff as

fuel up in these parts.

I mean, let's face it, I'm not drinking this scotch because I'm enjoying it, am

I? No. Of course not.

Not at these prices.

Agents, go down.

Yes. Who shall I say?

Just a moment, my lord.

Josh.

Lord Ashfordly.

On our phone.

Right.

What do you mean you can't come?

I'll send one of my men for you.

No.

Unless it's Sergeant Craddock.

I'm not moving.

Right, Sarge.

Is Dentrup not back yet?

No, Sarge.

Ashfordly Police.

I'll just try and catch him.

Oh, that's funny, that's.

Craddock? Tarana.

Jim.

Hiya, Neil.

What can I do for you? Look, I just popped in to pick your brains.

Now that's what I call a chat up line.

Yes.

You don't happen to know where I could get a sheepskin rug, do you?

Yeah, I do, actually.

And I had a good pray.

I don't know what's going on between you two, Sergeant, and at this moment I

don't much care.

Josh Roberts has never let me down and I'm relying on you to see he doesn't

me now.

What's up?

He's gone to round up Josh Roberts from the pub.

Oh.

There's been an emergency at Ashfordly Hall.

Ashfordly Hall?

Hey -o, hey -o.

London, no lad.

Mr Roberts?

Sergeant Craddock.

You know why I'm here?

Oh, yes, I do.

You're here because the man at the big house said jump.

I am here out of respect for the chairman of the bench, and I suggest you

suit.

Time for another, Claude. I'll go. No, we go now.

Lord Ashfordly expects.

Lead on.

I think he fell into bed.

Maybe we should leave him close. Get him a brandy. Don't you think he's had

enough already?

I'll be all right.

Once I've got him in the car.

Stay with it.

Come on.

You've got work to do.

Oi!

We're here.

Robert?

Robert, we're here.

Oh, for God's sake.

Hello?

Hello? Who's that?

Sergeant Craddock, sir.

With a bet.

Down at the end here.

One of two problems.

He's in the car.

You're too late, Craddock.

Oh.

Josh's son, Paul.

He's just delivered me a fine pole.

One of your men contacted him.

Oh, Francis.

I'd come back to see Dad.

Sorry to trouble you, Sergeant.

A bit under the weather.

Come on, Josh, old boy. Come on.

All right.

Right, what's that? That money, Josh.

Paul's here.

Paul.

Elf Ventress said you needed a hand.

You got her just in time.

Make sure you keep him now he's back.

Come on, Sergeant.

Let's wet the young 'un's head, shall we?

Oh, I, uh... Darjeeling, dear.

Thank you.

Yes.

Thanks, lad.

reckon I've struggled?

Of course you wouldn't.

You could have done it in your sleep.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Banged her head.

Have I?

Where?

Come on.

Let me take you home.

Dr. Bolton, what brings you here?

Well, I suppose you could call it a public health matter.

How do you mean?

I hear you've been selling sheepskin rugs.

We might have. Why?

I'm interested.

Why? You want to buy one?

Who knows?

I've got a terrible feeling we're sold out.

No, no, no, Mr. Gregg. I've got lots more in the shed.

Is this when he's been sleeping?

Oh, hi. You know, sort of a guard dog -like.

Why are you asking all these questions, Doctor?

Because I think he's brought in some friends with him.

What?

Fleas, Claude.

I've treated three patients for flea bites in the past few days.

And they all bought sheepskin rugs from you.

Oh, see, there's a question there again. Dog a bad name. I mean, it's just as

likely that Alfred's got the fleas off the rugs. I'm not here to argue, Claude.

But if I were you, I'd keep the unsold stock and give Alfred a spring clean.

Doctor! Doctor!

Doctor, these patients of yours, are they likely to sell?

It's not in polite company.

And at two pounds a rug, they've still got a bargain.

Two quid? What are you talking about?

It costs me more than that.

I mean, look.

Any idiot can see that's a seven, can't they?

David?

Coming to the end of that tune.

I'm sorry, mate.

I can't get it out of my head. It's a spinner's number.

Do you like them?

Like them? No.

I love them.

Well, they're in concert next week at Harrogate.

Yeah, I know.

Wish I could go.

Well, I can get you a ticket if you want to go. Well, not half.

How? My mum's got two tickets.

Yeah? Yeah, but my dad's not interested, so she gave one to me, but to be

honest, I'm not that keen.

So if you don't mind sitting next to me mum, you can have mine.

Fantastic.

I've got the largest pain in my memory.