Original subtitles

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does the love kiss stay in my memory?

Really bad.

Well, which one do you think?

Um, I think I like this one.

Well, this one could be for Joe.

Oh, that's a bucket.

Look, Katie, it's a Christmas tree.

Look, we're going to decorate it with all sorts of lovely things.

And then we're going to put a pretty angel on the top.

If you were a kid, would you guess?

What? Well, I wasn't real.

Well, do you walk again?

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

What's this, Benton?

Some sort of undercover work, is it?

I'm Father Christmas, Sarge. Oh, Father Christmas.

I'd never have guessed.

It's for Aidensfield Primary School, Sarge.

Why don't you come along and watch, Sarge? They've got a nativity play and

sorts.

Well, I mean, Christmas is a time for children.

Christmas, Bellamy, is a time for fools.

Now get this idiotic fancy dress off, Ventress. Get on with those reports.

Otherwise, I'll have you in here on Christmas morning.

Turkey or no turkey.

We're not having a turkey this year, Sarge.

Greengrass is supplying us with a goose.

Greengrass?

Fell off a lorry, did it?

Are there some more in the shed?

No, there's only three.

Well, we've still got orders for seven.

We had seven, but you gave four to Mr Scripps.

When was that?

It was last night when you were drunk.

Were you there?

I was. Well, what's the point of me making you my personal assistant if you

don't look after me? Why don't you try and stop me?

I did try, but you said you'd have me gelded.

That was like me.

All right, I'll go and get another three.

Four. What?

Four.

I don't know. At least you can count.

Hey,

make yourselves scarce.

Hello, Miss Weston. Claude, what's happened to my goose?

It's been delivered.

No, it hasn't. I've just been to have a look.

Well, there couldn't have been anybody there when he brought it, because I told

David... David... Oh, hang on. I told David, like, it would cash on delivery.

Nick's going to be up at the cottage during the afternoon, and I'm going to

there after four. It had better be there, Claude. My parents are coming to

dinner tonight.

All right, it will be.

I'll go and sort some more out. And while I'm doing it, you kill them three

start to get them ready, all right?

Kill them?

I can't kill them, Mr Greengrass.

You what?

I only said I'd take them round for you, not kill them.

I couldn't kill anything, me.

What is that bottle, may I ask?

They're like a bunch of kids, aren't they? All aboard, eh?

Has everyone been to the toilet?

Hey, pay attention.

Now, you know what you've got to do? You pick up four geese and you bring them

straight back here.

Right. And you don't stop off anywhere and you don't talk to anybody.

Don't tell anybody what you're doing, right?

OK. Right, and be very careful with this vehicle.

Oh,

the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.

And since we've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Man, it doesn't show signs of stopping, and I've brought me some corn for

popping.

Look at it.

Well, it's all right.

It's only a couple of inches on road.

Yes, but is it safe?

Is it safe?

You're in expert hands with me at the wheel.

Look, Father Christmas, in the absence of reindeer, me and the patrol car are

your only option.

And you can't let the kiddies down.

You're right.

Come on.

Put your belt up.

Ho, ho, ho.

Wonderful. Eh?

It's wonderful.

Hi.

How did you get here?

Phil dropped me off.

Right, let's see all that goose.

The goose, Nick.

I thought you came up at lunchtime. I did, and it wasn't here. He promised it

for this afternoon.

I don't believe it. He still hasn't delivered it yet.

No, no, no, no.

Yes, please, Gina.

You haven't seen Jo, have you?

She popped home after the rehearsal, didn't she?

Yes, but that was over an hour ago.

All right, stop, stop.

I'll try over there.

All right, try again.

Yeah, I'll go and get some snacks. OK.

The council.

We'll just wait to hear.

The school bus can't get beyond Blueback.

Oh, George, dear, do keep still.

Er, where's To?

She's not back yet.

Look, do you want to go to the toilet?

Off you go, then.

Right.

Cass is still here, and all the other parents who live in walking distance are

happy to stay on, so we're going to go ahead.

Right, well, we'd better get this lot changed, then. Come on, everybody.

Annie Dodson's gone home, so we've lost our angel.

Oh, after all that trouble we had making her wings.

Well, how about Katie doing it? Oh, isn't she a bit young?

Oh, one of the big girls could hold her hand.

Katie, would you like to be named?

It's a longer way round by quite a bit.

Aye, but a much better road.

I don't take her over the top doors. I'm skidding all over as it is.

Ladies and gentlemen, in view of the climatic condition, we're going to turn

back and take the road through Ashfordly and Aidensfield.

All right?

Sure.

I must be down.

Watkins is going to be going, there, we've got to try the car again.

There's no point, Joe.

Come on, Phil.

This is silly. Let's get back to Aspergill.

What? I've never heard a Santa Claus turning round because of snow.

Oh, yeah.

It's a real Santa. He's got reindeer.

What do you mean, the real Santa?

Can't leave them here, Maeve. What?

Not on their own in the cold.

It wasn't my fault.

I wasn't driving too fast. It just went straight off into the ditch without

warning. What did?

It's not meant to be.

An old red truck?

No.

No, that had nothing to do with it. The old red truck didn't.

Oh. And I suppose they aren't either.

Oh, it'll kill me.

Oh, Mr. Greengrass will kill me.

All right.

Tell you what we'll do, lad.

We'll drop him into a police station in Ashfordly.

Mr Blake! Oh,

no!

I told you it'd be a non -starter.

Hey, that's what we need, a plane.

Well, we can't just stay here.

I don't know.

Nick! It sounds like a good idea to me.

Yes, but what about the nativity play? And Mum and Dad?

Look, if we're snowed in, so is everyone else.

The play will be cancelled, and your mum and dad will be tucked up safe and

sound at home.

So let's just... Lie back and enjoy it.

Yeah, exactly.

Tell you what, there's a very nice bottle of wine in the fridge.

Is there? Yeah.

Doesn't sound too good.

Sophie?

Sophie, tell me you're not hurt.

Sophie, darling, please.

I'll be right.

You sure?

Right.

I'll go and get some help.

Don't leave me.

I have to, darling.

No, you know, just... Phone Daddy, don't talk to anyone else. Promise me.

Hide quick, you. Don't let anyone see you.

Says her name is Sophie.

Are you sure there was no one else?

Yes.

You threw this on your own, did you?

Yes.

Well, we'd better get you out of here quick.

I don't want to move.

Sophie, you've got to. We'll take you down to my cottage.

I can't.

Come on, we need to get you out of the cold.

Can you manage?

Yeah.

You're pregnant.

How pregnant?

Nearly eight months.

We're coming up to Ashfordly.

You can take the geese into the police station.

Oh, me?

No.

Come on, you're a big, strong lad.

Albert will help you.

No, I can't take it into Mr Blaketon.

And they can't film the coach either.

But he'll help them.

No, no, it's no good, Alf.

We're going to have to face facts.

We're going to have to radio for help.

And Blaketon's not going to be best pleased.

But it's not my fault.

I'm supposed to be in Whitby, not here with you. You offered.

No, you asked me.

Are you going to call him or not?

Delta Alpha 2, want a control, over.

Yes, madam, will you just hold on a minute, thank you.

Bellamy, where the heck have you been?

Over. Well, we're stuck on the Edithville Road, Sarge. Over.

You're what?

Over.

Look, I told you, if Ventress wants to dress up and become Father Christmas,

that's his business. Out.

Yes, madam, we know that the Whitby Road is closed. We're doing what we can.

Thank you.

Control to Delta Alpha 2 -1. Come in, Bellamy. Over.

Good evening, Sarge. Over.

Now, look, the phones are going mad here. There's no sign of Rowan. And you

tell Ventress...

I'm not just here to take delivery of his Christmas dinner. Over.

What shall we do, Sarge? Over.

Well, use your common sense, Bellamy. You stay in the car, you keep warm, and

you await rescue.

Over.

I'll pretend

I never heard

that.

die in situations like this.

Thanks, Alf.

You hear about it.

Only five yards from home.

Stuck in a snowdrift.

Found in the morning, frozen solid.

Shut up.

Do you think we should cuddle together for warmth?

Give over!

Put the engine on.

Don't worry. I'm sorry.

Can you make it to that barn?

Yeah. Are you sure you're not in any pain?

I'm just tired.

Then I'm sure everything's fine.

It's not far now, Sophie. The cottage is only five minutes away.

You go back to the cottage and bring something warm to wrap her in and a hot

drink.

Sophie, where were you coming from?

Spain.

I live there.

And which airport were you heading for?

I wasn't going to an airport.

I was going to land at Mummy and Daddy's.

In the park.

The park?

Northwick Park.

Your parents live at Northwick Park?

Well, then they'll report it, won't they, when you don't turn up?

I didn't tell them I was coming.

It was going to be a surprise.

It's getting deeper by the minute.

Oh, dear.

I don't go much further, not with old folk on board.

What's the next village?

Aidensfield. Right.

As soon as we get there, we'll stop him.

We'll find somewhere warm for him to wait and go on when the snowplough's

through.

Miss, we could take him to the village hall.

I know it'll be open.

They've got Father Christmas coming.

Is that right for you with your Santa suit on?

Well, I've given you my hat.

What?

Well, 90 % of your body goes out through your head.

Anyway, I'm older than you. My blood's thinner.

And I need a ciggy.

Alf, have you mentioned cigarettes once more?

Two hard -boiled eggs and a slice of Christmas cake's all I had.

Back at the office.

Shut up.

We could die, you know. Yes, so you've said.

Many times before.

Well, we could.

Yes!

I can't help it.

I get like this when I haven't had regular nourishment.

I've always been the same.

Right.

There you go.

And don't eat it all at once.

And a merry Christmas.

Is your husband still in Spain?

We'll have to get in touch with him.

Fancy living at Northwick Park.

Went round it once on a school outing.

Sophie?

Are you getting pain?

It's not due for another month.

It's not ready to be born yet.

It's probably just the shock, the crash landing and everything.

I need a doctor!

Yes, and when Nick's back, we're going to get you one.

You're going to be all right.

Yes, what?

Can none of the garages in Ashfordly help you, Mr Blaketon?

Yeah, well... Yeah, I suppose I might know someone.

All right, I do appreciate the urgency.

In fact, I do know someone with a Land Rover in Ashfordly, my nephew Gary.

Yeah, I'm sure he'd lend it for police business.

Come on, then.

Matthew, you keep over Katie up here.

Curtains already, Peter.

Right.

Come on.

Stop. Hold everything.

Are the toilets through here?

Gents on the left, ladies downstairs.

This way, Mrs Ellery. You want to hear my life story?

No. About how I was born in Pickering?

No. And after a long and difficult birth, the doctors didn't think I'd live

through the night?

No.

That's what people do in situations like this. They tell their life stories.

Yes?

Well, I'm sorry.

I've got to get out.

Oh, no, you haven't, lad.

You're going to stay here with Uncle Alf, and you're going to hear his life

story, whether you like it or not, until Blayton comes to rescue us.

We'll start with how I won the Pickering and District Beautiful Babies

competition.

I thought you'd emigrated. Who are you?

Hey, hey, officer.

I don't know what you're here for, but if it's the geese, I can assure you

they're legitimate and paid for. In fact, I raised them myself. I don't care

what anybody says.

Sheeping wolf's clothing, old man. Not a policeman at all, you see.

What? You mean you're not really a couple?

Where did you get the coat?

Never you mind about that.

466, that's Nick Ronan's, isn't it? Listen, old chap, let's get down to

business. I need to get the nearest town tonight. Where would that be, Whitby?

Yeah. Good.

Can you take me there?

Well, go out in this tonight. You've got to be joking. I wouldn't, not unless

you make it worth me while.

I'll give you a fiver. A fiver?

It'd have to be 20.

OK, a tenner.

In advance.

Five now, five when we get to Whitby. Take it or leave it. I'll take it.

Well, we're assuming you've got a decent vehicle to get it there, of course.

Well, I'll sort some it out.

It's getting worse.

Just try to relax. I can't.

Nothing's going to happen. It is. I know it is.

I can't stop it.

Nick,

she's in labour.

She's got stomach pains. They're really bad.

Sophie? Oh, go away. Leave me alone.

How often are the pains?

I don't know. I don't know anything about having a baby. It's all right. It

take ages. First baby's always there. But it's premature. It might be born

really fast.

Look, the temperature's below freezing. We're stuck in a dirty old barn. No

medical help, no water, nothing.

You have them?

Yeah.

Look, I know he was on the plane with you, Sophie. Can you tell me where he

to? Leave me alone, will you?

And then... there was Josephine. Oh, how many girlfriends did you

have?

Josephine Simmons.

Oh, what a lovely girl she was.

I remember it as though it was yesterday.

Upstairs in me grandfather's pigeon loft.

Hold on.

Oh, somebody's coming.

You idiot.

You

idiot.

Food. Cigarettes.

Dry clothes.

A hot toddy.

Georgie's bound to have a nice fire.

What are you two on about?

Hayden's Field Arms, Dad.

To get warmed up.

Oh, no, you're not, Bellamy. You're coming with me to help find Rowan. In

he escapes your notice, you're still on duty.

Yes. But I'm not, Sarge. And I'd like to go and get warmed up.

No, I'll get a chill for Christmas. My mother won't be best pleased.

His mother's a force to be reckoned with, Sarge. I don't believe this.

What a couple of feeble milksots you two are.

There's some more cups from the pub, Gina.

Yeah, as soon as I've done these chairs, Mrs Watkins.

Hey, that's enough of that.

It's me, Jane.

No news about Ventress, Isabelle. No.

Oi, don't do that with baby Jesus. Give him to me.

Come on, down with it, all of you. Come on.

He's so small.

You all right?

Yeah, I think so. Look, we've got to get him back to the cottage.

Take him outside.

It's just as cold here. The most important thing is to maintain his body

Sophie, we've got to get him back to the cottage.

Now, it's probably best if, Jo, you take him on ahead and as soon as you feel up

to it, Sophie, we'll get you up there as well, OK?

I can't wait to see him.

You just rest for a bit.

OK?

He'll be fine.

Look, can't you tell me, Sophie, where's your husband?

It's all my fault.

I was homesick.

I made him come back when I knew it wasn't safe.

I thought with Christmas coming and the baby and everything, I thought Mum and

Dad might forgive him.

I mean, he was going to pay back everything, every penny, but they didn't

him a chance.

And he wouldn't have left me, only he saw you.

When you came along.

What, because I was a policeman?

Sophie.

If anything happens to my baby, I'll kill myself.

Look, it still says 14 miles to Whitby.

You sure you're going the right way?

You aren't half getting up my nose. Look, why don't I keep the fiver you

and call it a day?

What? Well, it is the road to Whitby. You're bound to get a lift. I've brought

you more than half way, so a fiver's more than fair.

Now, look here, you great country bonkin. Stop wasting my time!

Hey, hey, watch it.

You must know somebody who's got a Land Rover, you idiot!

Oh, am I?

Well, as a matter of fact, I do know somebody who's got just the vehicle for

you. It's only down the road.

Come on, George, get that fire going.

Come on.

I'm dying of hypothermia.

And when you've done that, I'll have a packet of fags and a ham sandwich and a

pint of your best, please.

Aren't you on duty, Father Christmas?

The rules are waived.

That's what Sergeant Blaketon said, wasn't it? Aye. By order of the North

Constabulary, in view of the special climatic conditions.

Oh, and I'll have a couple of those pickled eggs and all. And the same for

Philip here.

Oh, don't hog the fire.

urgent medical attempts from Nick.

I've done everything I can think of.

Fuck off me, you moron!

Get in there! That's your coat he's got on!

Get your hands off me!

How dare you!

Who's a country bumpkin now, old man?

Right.

You wait there.

Right.

Hey, don't forget it was me that nabbed him first!

So if there's a reward, I want it!

He still owes me a tenner.

Screengrass on a tractor.

A tractor?

It can drive me to a phone box. We'll get an ambulance.

You'll be all right.

Just be quick.

Don't say anything. I think I've found her husband.

I would like to extend a warm welcome to the Elson B.

Evergreens. And we hope you'll enjoy our little entertainment.

And now, with apologies for the late start...

We will carry on with our nativity play.

I need a snowplough, a land rover, and someone to come up and dig out my patrol

car.

Look, I don't care about Whitby.

There's a foot of snow up here.

Call me back.

Judge, can you take charge of this, Dan?

I've got a bit of an emergency. I need to find Maggie Bolton. What's going on?

Can I have a word with you in private, please, sir?

Hey, you told Blake to me and they captured him in the first place. You

there.

What do you think? Will there be a reward?

I've got a bone to pick with you, Greengrass.

Gee, there'll be more than one then, won't there? Hey, if that's his wallet,

still owes me 20 quid. You, outside.

Thank you.

And a Merry Christmas to you and all.

Outside.

I don't know who he is or what he's done, Sarge, but from what I can make

he's a wanted man.

Hugh Forbes Moncrief.

Hang on, that rings a bell. Where did you find him?

We're in a plane.

Wall Street, the speaker, on a tractor. It's a long story, Sarge. His wife's had

a baby.

Baby.

And Joseph went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, the

city of David, which is called Bethlehem, to be taxed with Mary, his

wife, being graceful child.

Oh, no.

Please, come on.

And she brought forth her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling clothes and

laid him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn.

Oh, thank heaven.

Just the man I need, Mr Greengrass. What?

Be quiet, Eric. Be careful.

You've saved my life. What have I done?

You've played Father Christmas before now, haven't you? Yeah, but I didn't

it. I'm afraid.

I need you urgently up at Joe's.

And we've got the antlers that Alfred wore.

All right.

Thank you, Mr Greengrass.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields.

keeping watch over their flock by night.

And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them.

Go on, Katie, go on.

And the angel said, I bring you good tidings and great joy, which shall be to

all people.

Yes, Sarge.

Right away, Sarge.

Yes, I appreciate it, Sergeant.

Yes.

Why is it always me?

Trouble. Go to the station and prepare the cell for a prison breaker.

Prepare the cell?

Remove all inmates.

Something to do with Greengrass.

Sorry for filming. Signed for under the fire.

Aye. Well, I'm off duty.

Well, hold on.

Well, I can't go either, can I?

I haven't got a car.

Bernie could take you.

Hey, hold on, George.

Never get to Ashfordly in his van.

He's got chains, hasn't he, at the garage?

Yeah, but... Good idea, George.

There's your solution. Lad, go with Bernie.

Oh, that's only thinking.

Urgent, Sergeant Blaketon said.

Right. I need a big, strong man to help me to the school with this lot.

Alf, what are you doing here?

They're all waiting for you.

What? At the village hall.

I thought I'd been cancelled.

No, and you're on in five minutes.

Give us a hand, Uncle George.

Oh, dear, Alf.

Looks like you'd best get a move on.

Here you go, Alf.

Ho, ho, ho.

Be careful, Mrs. Watkins.

Look, they're high enough. They're high enough.

Lovely.

Right.

I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

Shh! Everybody.

Can you hear anything?

What's that, children?

Playbell! Yes, it's Playbell, isn't it?

I think we've got a visitor.

Who is it?

Come on, son. Come on.

Ho,

ho, ho.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Claude Greengraff and his ruddy geese.

What are they doing here? Folk could be waiting for these all day.

Right, well, You'll have to deliver them on your way back.

What? It's your friend, Bernie, not mine.

Oh, thank goodness that's all over.

Hello, Oscar.

Eileen, Katie, Merry Christmas.

Well, Nick, you seem to be the hero of the hour.

Really, Sarge? Do you have any idea who your Mr Hugh Forbes Moncrief really is?

Well, no, Sarge.

He's been hunted for the past 12 months by the keenest police brains in the Met.

And your Nick, Eileen, who is still a humble police constable of modest

intellect, he's the one that happens to have found him.

And here, on my patch.

Well done.

Well, thank you, Sarge.

I'll take Katie upstairs.

So, what did he do, Sarge?

Well, he only nicked £100 ,000 from a major charity, that's all.

Does he know about the baby yet, sir?

I thought I'd leave that pleasure to you.

Come to have a peep, have you, Constable?

At the big fish you so cleverly caught in your tiny little net.

I've come to tell you about your wife.

She's had the baby.

A boy.

Well, I never... A boy.

Is Sophie all right?

Yeah, I think so.

And the baby?

Well, premature babies.

He's on the way to the hospital.

I see.

She so desperately wanted to come back. I should never have risked it.

A little beauty, isn't he?

A man who crashed his plane and then left his wife alone in a blizzard.

To have a baby.

Excuse me, Sarge.

Oh, Nick.

It's going to be all right.

The baby.

Maggie and I just took him and Sophie to the hospital and they think he's going

to be okay.

I'd better tell him.

Well, I'm going to go and get all the food back from the cottage and make a

here for everyone.

Right. I'll come with you.

Right, as you are.

Right, that'll do you.

Thanks for the lift, Maggie.

I'll be back in about an hour.

Oh, and be on your best behaviour. The boss is coming to supper.

Eh?

Eileen's invited Blaketon.

Thanks,

Maggie.

Oh, what a day.

I can't believe that Sophie's husband would just abandon her like that.

We did care. That's the funny thing.

Oh, yes. He still ran away and left her, though, didn't he?

£100 ,000. I mean, what did he actually do?

Oh, some city fiddle.

He's a stockbroker, apparently.

Cooked the book, they.

Don't ask me. I'm just a humble constable of modest intellect.

I beg your pardon?

There's a little compliment I had for my boss.

Nick.

I just want to look at you.

I don't want to be looked at.

There's something I've been meaning to ask you.

I've got to get the food organised.

We can put it all in the bin.

The veg is already in the saucepan, so we can just take the whole lot.

Were you looking for... Oh, and there's a tin of cooked ham which we can use

instead of the goo.

No.

It's not funny, Nick. I'm going to kill Claude Greengrass. What am I supposed to

do? Kill it with my bare hands?

Hang on.

What are you doing?

What, if we do it now, we can cook it in time for a late supper? No.

Don't you dare touch it.

I'm turning vegetarian and I'm going to keep her as a pet. Give me that! Only if

you say you'll marry me.

What?

Will you marry me?

I'd be...

Why do you skip when my baby's listening mine?

Riddle your pet and sing to me love's story.

And bring to me love's glory.

Heartbeat. Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?