Original subtitles

This is California.

Or to be more exact,

this is the part of California

known as Beverly Hills.

A lot of wonderful people live in Beverly Hills.

For instance...

This house on roxbury drive

belongs to Jack Benny and Mary Livingston.

And here on sunset boulevard

is the house that belongs to Deborah kerr.

A few blocks away on Beverly drive

is the house that belongs to Jean Simmons.

And this beautiful house up on Laurel way

belongs to Bob cummings.

This house belongs

to the sunset mortgage company.

This is where I live.

This is me.

At least part of me.

The part that first attracted my husband

on that windy day we met.

It was love at first sight.

This is my husband.

I'm a very, very lucky woman.

I've got the dream husband of all time.

His name is Gregory...

Not peck.

Greg is a little older than I am,

but that doesn't matter.

I'm a little younger than he is,

so we're even.

Greg's an author

and does most of his work in this study.

Well, maybe Greg isn't exactly an author.

He writes for television.

I love him anyway.

But back before I knew him,

he really was an author.

He wrote a best-seller then.

Greg's book was the true story

of how he dropped a bomb

and sank that Japanese battleship

in world war ii.

He was a hero back in those days.

I'm the only one who knows it now.

He's still a hero.

This is the windy day I mentioned.

I had just returned from duty in Korea

when I met Greg.

That was 3 years ago,

and tonight we're having our third anniversary party.

At least we were until a letter arrived.

It was brought by Henry gaxton,

Greg's literary agent, who came to pick up

a TV script Greg had just written.

Good morning, Katy.

Did he finally finish it?

Shh, he's asleep.

How is it?

I can't figure out the ending.

Great. Makes it perfect for live television.

Sponsors like the stories to be confusing.

Then the commercials make more sense.

Here. I picked up your mail.

Thanks. Coffee?

Mm, please.

"From the continental air command,

air reserve record center."

Now, why would Greg be getting a letter

from the air force?

Huh? Air force?

It can't be.

This'll make

the fifth client I've lost.

Steam it open.

Steam it open?

I don't steam my husband's letters.

There may be a lot of steam in that one.

Open it.

I have never opened Gregory's letters

and I'm certainly not starting now.

Drink your coffee.

Never mind the coffee.

Steam it.

I'm telling you,

Greg's in the air force reserves.

I'm sure they're recalling him.

Henry, if they really want him back,

is there any way to keep him out?

Sure.

With influence, you can buy a gun,

shoot him in the foot.

Aim high.

Both feet.

Henry, this is awful.

He has to report for examination tomorrow.

Katy!

Sleeping beauty's up.

I'm in here, Greg.

I can't tell him now.

I want him to enjoy the party tonight.

I've got to hide this where it's safe.

Katy!

Oh, I thought I heard a man's voice.

We all make mistakes.

Happy anniversary, darling.

Oh, Greg!

You didn't think I'd forget

our anniversary, did you?

Open it.

I've got something for you, too.

I have much more than I deserve.

Hear, hear.

Oh, Greg.

There's an inscription, too.

"To Katy, we will never be apart."

Greg...

Oh, Greg!

Don't cry, honey.

Those are real diamonds, honest.

I'll call you later, Katy.

I've got an idea.

Idea about what?

About giving you beauty treatments.

I'm gonna call the vet.

I'll see your agent to the door.

Fine. And lock it behind him.

Vet!

What's the idea?

Shh. Outside.

I signed up Barney Sloan last week.

Captain Barney Sloan.

Sloan?

You know, the jet ace

who broke a couple of sound barriers.

One of them they didn't even know was there.

Fine. What's that got to do with my happy home?

Everything.

I need a ghost writer to do Barney's life story.

Now if I can get Greg to do the ghosting,

the air force might consider

the writing of a book about one of their aces

important enough to give Greg a deferment.

Henry, I may start a rumor that you're brilliant.

Yeah, we have one problem.

Barney has to ok who writes his story.

He'll have to like Greg, you understand?

Bring him along tonight. He'll like Greg.

Yeah, sure, sure. But you can help.

Be charming.

Make a big fuss over him.

Barney likes girls.

Girls? I'm a married woman.

Just don't let it show.

I'll see you tonight.

♪ For they're a jolly good couple ♪

♪ which nobody can deny ♪

♪ which nobody can deny ♪

Thank you, thank you.

We of the clan of whitcomb

welcome you to our third

nuptial celebration.

It was about 3 years ago on a windy day,

I was walking down a...

no speeches.

Remember me?

You do look familiar.

I am familiar.

Saved by the bell!

Ha ha ha!

Who wants to be saved?

All right. Now, who's for a piece of cake,

and who would like a few more drinks?

Oh, no, no. No cake!

Henry, come in.

Good evening, Katy. How are you?

Fine.

I, uh, I brought some friends.

Good.

This is...

what is your name?

No names, honey.

The place may be raided.

We just met.

I think she's suffering

from malnutrition.

Captain Sloan,

this is Katy whitcomb.

Happy to know you, captain.

I'm certainly happy to know you, Katy.

Thank you. The drinks are in there.

Thanks.

May I take your things?

Where do you store

the powder puffs, dearie?

The storeroom's first door to the left.

Hmm. Thank you.

Bourbon and soda?

Thanks a lot.

Mr. Curtis told me you were a hero.

I'm afraid Mr. Curtis

has been drinking a wee bit.

Mr. Curtis said

you bombed a pier or something.

I never met a hero before.

How old would you say Mr. Curtis is?

Mr. Curtis is my date.

He's about 65.

Honey, you've met a hero.

Tell my little baby all about it,

will you, Greg?

There's not much to tell, Curtis.

Ah, now you wouldn't

make a liar out of me, would you, Greg?

There's really nothing to tell.

It was off guadalcanal,

a long time ago.

That's in venice.

Venice?

Oh, canal!

No. Guadalcanal.

That's in the south pacific.

And it wasn't a pier.

It was more like

a brand-new battleship or something.

As a matter of fact, it was the kuna,

the biggest and newest Japanese dreadnaught...

the flagship of the imperial Navy.

I got her with a single bomb,

down her smokestack.

Blew her to bits.

Ha ha.

Ah...it's all ancient history now.

Oh, no, no. We want to hear it.

Come on!

Well, all right.

You see, the kuna was leading

this jap task force on its way

to give us a little trouble.

It so happened that at the same time,

I was ambling along at about 20,000,

on routine patrol.

Suddenly the clouds opened,

and way down below,

I saw this jap task force

sitting fat and sassy on the water,

like ducks on a pond.

This was it.

I only had one bomb left,

but there was no time to lose.

I banked my ship,

got the sun at my back,

and started to dive.

Oh, hello, captain.

I'm Gregory whitcomb.

Barney Sloan.

Oh, good to know you, captain Sloan.

I've been reading a lot about you lately.

I used to do a little flying myself.

Whitcomb. Uh-huh.

Are you related to the good-looking blonde?

Well, kind of.

She's my wife.

She's your wife?

How'd you do it?

On no-cal and yami yogurt.

Go on with your dive, old-timer.

I know how it is.

My father was the same

with his battle of the bulge story.

I'll bet you sank at least 10 battleships.

You look like a hero.

What hero thing

did you get that one for, captain?

Oh, that's the silver star.

Gave it to me in Seoul a couple of years back.

Quite a presentation it was.

Who presented it to you, captain?

Oh, that would be general Doolittle.

I think general Doolittle

had retired by then, old-timer.

I heard it was pretty rugged out there.

It was, but we cleaned it up before we left.

Tell us about Seoul.

I heard the place was full of rats.

Not anymore.

Not any more?

Of course there's more.

There's a whole case on the service porch.

Come on, darling, now. I'll show you.

The paper said you had 12 migs

to your credit, captain.

11 sure. I don't count the probables.

There were 8 probables, as a matter of fact.

Probably 8 probables, probably.

Don't you think that's probably

probable probables?

Greg, stop that. He's got ears.

And space between them.

Where'd he come from, anyhow?

He came with Henry. Now behave yourself.

Hank? How come he invites people

who are not invited?

Henry asked if he could bring him.

Oh, so you knew he was coming?

Well, yes. I just forgot

to mention it, that's all.

Now behave yourself.

He's a guest in our house.

Well, stay away from him.

I don't like the way

he just dive-bombed your dress.

Shh.

Mrs. Whitcomb, may I have this dance?

If your husband doesn't mind.

Oh, of course not.

It's my anniversary.

Everything's on the house.

Thanks, old-timer.

How about mixing your agent a drink?

How about mixing me a new agent?

Well, what's the matter?

I just asked you to mix me a drink.

You mix me one. Straight scotch.

Mix straight scotch?

That's scotch over scotch.

Excuse me.

Do that.

May I?

Well, no...

thanks.

Thanks for the rescue.

He was coming in high at 12 o'clock.

Hero.

Oh, there you are, dear.

Oh, there I am, dear.

About to be a hero again.

An older-type hero,

but nevertheless a hero.

You like heroes, don't you, Katy, dear?

Take it easy, please.

Easy? It's no trouble at all.

Just gotta pin 'em on.

Gotta wear medals to impress my wife.

You forgot you were married to a hero,

didn't you, Katy?

No, I didn't.

Step right up, folks!

You can't... ouch!

The players without their medals.

You don't think I was encouraging that boy, do you?

Boy? That's it... boy.

He's just about the right age for you,

isn't he, Katy?

"Good conduct."

I won't need that tonight.

You're behaving like a child.

Comes natural. I married one.

Now, take those off. Don't embarrass yourself.

Take them off?

If this doesn't work,

I'm liable to put on my old uniform

and show that kid a thing or two.

Where does he get off

with his probable probable migs?

I got a whole battleship with one bomb

right down the old kuna smokestack.

Boom!

I better get back to our guests.

Yeah, you better do that.

Boom!

What's the boom-booms about?

He's gonna sink our deferment.

Get the captain out of here quick.

Oh, don't worry.

Barney agreed to let Greg do his story.

You made a real hit with him.

Fine. Now let's get him out

before he's real hit again.

Huh?

Hi, Mr. Whitcomb. Oh, hi.

Your wife called for more liquor.

Huh?

Hey, are those real?

They are, but I'm not.

Put it down here.

Sure thing, sir.

Well, that's ok, Mr. Whitcomb.

No, no, no, no. Wait.

My wife has some money in her purse.

Mm.

There you are.

Gee, thanks, Mr. Whitcomb.

Happy anniversary.

Thanks.

Hmm.

"To major Gregory whitcomb."

Good night.

Aah!

What is it?!

There was a soldier in here.

A soldier? You must be mistaken.

Honey, I know a soldier when I see one.

What did he look like?

I didn't see his face good.

He had his pants off.

His pants off?!

And he jumped out the window.

There's no one out here.

I don't see anybody.

She's loaded.

She doesn't know what she's saying.

Maybe she does.

Greg? Greg, where are you?

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Come out, come out... ooh!

He's out.

He's asleep.

Asleep?

He's stone cold.

He found the letter.

So you see, it's that simple.

We were trying to find a way

to keep you out of service.

I brought Barney here for that reason.

And I wasn't flirting.

I was just being nice

so he'd ok you being a ghost,

and, darling, forgive me for opening your letter.

I think when the air force

hears you're writing Barney's story,

you'll be out.

I'm not writing Barney's story.

But, darling...

I know. And I appreciate your wanting to keep me home.

But I can't do it.

If the air force wants me, they must need me.

You mean you want to leave?

Give him more coffee.

He's suffering from shock.

It's not that I want to leave you.

Yo know that. And I'm not being patriotic.

Brother, I don't like April 15th

any better than the rest of the guys.

It's just that...

Now, don't take this personal, Katy.

Well, how should I take it?

If you want to go back in the service, then...

whatever happens,

we won't be separated, honey.

As soon as I get my orders,

I'll send for you.

Will you, Greg?

You'll be with me wherever I'm stationed.

That's all I want.

Katy a camp follower?

Are you crazy?

You may be stationed in the aleutians.

I don't care.

I'll play canasta with the eskimos.

That's my girl.

You know, Hank, I think I'm a writer.

Now, how do you suppose I feel

writing those psychological stories of mixed up families

for live TV?

I wrote a best-seller when I was in the service before.

I may come out of this with a new experience,

an experience worth writing about,

an experience of my own

instead of ghosting that big ace's probable.

Oh, darling, I know it'll work out.

Easy, honey.

My heads hurt.

Looks like the good humor man on a hot day.

Nope. Streetcar conductor, any day.

That's my boy.

Here's your coffee.

No more coffee.

I'm still sloshing when I walk.

It fits me like a glove, doesn't it?

Almost, except your thumb is sticking out.

Oh, come on, now.

I'll bet you couldn't get into your old outfit.

I bet you're right.

I better let that jacket out before you leave.

Haven't the time. Got to be there at 10:00.

Katherine, I'm very much in love with you.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

Even though you do sneak in

on strange women at night.

Forgive me for being an idiot?

Mm-hmm.

I think she was a fool to scream.

Henry, come in.

Hello, Katy. Is Greg back?

Not yet. They kept him overnight.

He'll be here sometime today.

Excuse me, I'll be right with you.

Hey, what's that you're wearing?

We've decided to take it, Mrs. Whitcomb.

My fiance loves it.

It'll be a wonderful house for a honeymoon.

I know. I tried it.

We'll move in right after our wedding.

Oh. Here are the extra keys.

Thanks, Mrs. Whitcomb.

I'll take good care of your furniture.

All you can do is add scratches to the scratches.

Oh, this is Mr. Gaxton.

Don't worry, he doesn't come with the house.

Bye.

Bye.

Thanks, Mrs. Whitcomb.

Well, take a guess.

Well, there are no women in the foreign legion.

You must be a lieutenant in the air force.

To the head of the class, Mr. Gaxton.

Thanks. Now, don't tell me what happened.

Naturally, I'm not interested.

Simple, Henry.

I signed up.

As you said, Greg might be stationed in an igloo.

No place for me,

so, I figured something else.

Well, you figured the hard way, didn't you?

Remember the last war?

Major Baxter in Tokyo

requested me on his staff when I was there.

Greg's a major.

He can request me on his staff.

That way we'll be together.

I rented the house to that honeymoon couple.

That takes care of the sunset mortgage company.

Greg and I haven't got a worry in the world.

It makes sense.

But whenever anything makes sense,

I start worrying.

That's him.

Don't tell him I'm back in.

I want to freshen up and surprise him.

He doesn't know?

Katy!

Katy! Where are you?!

Where is she?

She's at the fortifications freshening up.

What's the excitement?

Boy, have I got news.

Come on, let's celebrate!

Don't tell me they made you a 4-star general.

Better than that.

They gave you the powdered egg concession?

You know, Hank,

I guess the real reason I wanted to go back

was some crazy idea that I'd be a hero again,

so that I could impress Katy,

show her that I could compete with the youngsters.

But when I saw those kids, I forgot that fast.

And between us,

I sure missed her.

Well, drink to the hero's return from the war.

Return? You didn't go yet.

They didn't want me. Happy days.

Happy day...

they didn't want you?

I couldn't pass the physical.

Oh, it's nothing serious,

just this bad knee of mine.

Something's wrong with it.

They're afraid it might buckle on me

at any time.

They can't even let me fly a plane.

I might kill everybody in it.

Well, drink up.

What's the matter with you?

Nothing.

Make mine a double.

You'll need it.

Major whitcomb?

Lieutenant whitcomb reporting for duty, sir.

Greg!

What's he doing down there?

Either his leg gave out

or he likes to drink alone.

Yes, general.

Yes. Yes, I'll do that, general.

So, you see, it's all been a mistake,

captain Briggs.

This whole thing happened

because we couldn't stand being apart.

Katy's a wonderful girl.

She thought she was doing the right thing.

I agree, Mr. Whitcomb.

Lieutenant whitcomb is a wonderful girl.

She served with me 4 years ago.

I wish you wouldn't keep calling my wife

"lieutenant," captain.

I know what a fine officer she was then.

I'm more than pleased to have her with me again.

That's just it.

Now, you're her friend.

Why don't you forget she ever came to see you?

Tear up the papers, hmm?

Mr. Whitcomb...

Of all people, you should be aware of military regulations.

Once lieutenant whitcomb took the oath,

she automatically became a member

of the United States air force reserve.

She's leaving for Hawaii tomorrow.

Even though she joined to be near you,

that does not alter the case.

I joined to be near my husband,

and with him in Korea, I rarely see him!

I don't blame him.

Mr. Whitcomb, I'm warning you not to interfere

with your wife's orders!

I'm warning you, captain!

I'll interfere with her orders

right to the top in Washington!

Sergeant!

Mr. Whitcomb is just leaving.

Flight 709 leaving for Hawaii.

Darling, I thought you wouldn't make it.

I rushed.

I even forgot to bring your toothbrush.

Greg, I'm gonna miss you so.

I'm still working on Washington

trying to spring you, but to be honest,

my spring is kind of sprung.

Let it go.

I'm in now and I've got to do my job.

Your job is to be with me.

I'll get you out.

Greg?

Yes, dear?

I left something for you.

Oh, the list? I found it.

I already got your cerise dress

from the cleaners,

and I'll get the mothballs

to store your fur.

I defrosted the refrigerator,

and I'll remember to cancel...

no.

In the hall table I left something.

Left what?

My will.

Your will?

I left everything to you,

except my fur.

That's for mother.

And my baby pictures, the ones on the bear rug...

you wouldn't want those.

The bear ones?

Oh, sure, I would.

Oh, Katy, don't talk like that.

I've got one more general to call.

He'll get you out.

Mr. Whitcomb!

What are you doing to lieutenant whitcomb?

Doing? H-Hello, captain. Nothing.

Absolutely doing nothing.

Just leaving the lieutenant

a teethbrish... uh, toothbrush.

Flight 709 leaving for Hawaii.

Don't run!

Remember your bad knee!

You wouldn't have wanted it anyhow!

They only had medium-hard!

Old-timer, what are you doing here?

My wife's leaving.

On my plane?

Your plane?

You're on that plane?!

Cheer up, dad.

I'll take care of her.

Coming.

Greg.

May I come in?

Well, of course come in.

Katy rented the house.

I remember.

I didn't.

Greg?

You sure do sleep pretty, lieutenant.

You sure do creep pretty, captain.

Have you been there all night?

I promised your husband I'd take care of you.

Welcome to the island of oahu.

We're going to have a lot of fun down there,

starting with my buying your breakfast

and your lunch and dinner.

Thank you, captain. I'm on a diet,

a complete diet, for the duration.

But, general, I thought you...

thank you, general.

Any luck?

Not with the United States air force

and that was my last chance,

unless you happen to know the president.

Hmm.

Hank, how do you stand living alone?

Oh, you get used to it.

As a matter of fact, I enjoy being a bachelor.

It's...lonely sometimes.

Morning, Hank.

Morning, Gloria.

But living alone isn't so bad, Greg,

at least as far as I'm concerned.

It's quiet, no problems.

I can do what I want when I want.

Thank you, hankie.

Ok.

Being a bachelor has some good points.

Hey. What was that?

What?

Oh, that. That's Gloria.

She lives upstairs. No kitchen facilities.

I keep her melons and things cold.

Yeah? Careful you don't freeze 'em.

At first you'll be lonely,

but you'll get used to it.

You'll like it here.

I'm a crackerjack

in the culinary department.

It's not Katy's cooking I'll miss.

It's the companionship.

The companionship of being in...

Well, you know, being so close

for 3 wonderful years.

When you're married to the right woman,

a woman you respect as well as love,

well, after a while,

you lose yourself.

You forget your identity.

She becomes you, you become her.

I don't know how to get along without Katy.

I know how you feel.

It's tough now.

You'll get used to living alone.

Good morning, hankie.

Good morning, Sandy.

Gloria said you had a cute guest.

Sandra Roberts, this is Gregory whitcomb.

How do you do...

where is he?

Huh? Oh, he's...

he must have gone to the shower.

Maybe we can double date sometime.

Gloria said he looked very short.

Is he?

He writes for television.

I suppose you just keep her milk cold?

Exactly.

Hank, how do you know you don't mind living alone?

You haven't tried it.

Ohh, we're one big family

in this apartment house.

They're nice kids,

all of them trying to get in pictures

and television.

They way they get in here, it should be easy.

Mind if I lock it?

Lieutenant?

Here's some more.

But, baby, you've gotta believe me.

Honest, I've got them in the freezing compartment.

Yes, they're nice and ripe.

Heh! Don't worry about a thing.

Hello.

You must be hankie's guest.

I'm the freeloader.

I'm Sandy.

How do you do?

I belong upstairs.

Oh.

Oh, are you busy?

Well, I'm writing a letter to my wife.

Then you're married.

Yes.

For 3 years I'm married.

But if you're writing to your wife,

she must be away.

Yes. I usually don't write to her when she's here.

That's wonderful.

Wonderful? What's wonderful?

To be married and have your wife away.

You know, this is just like a movie I saw.

The girl lived upstairs and used to come down

and visit the man downstairs

and air condition herself off

with his air conditioner.

His wife was away, too.

I didn't see that movie.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Do you mind if I lay down?

Uh, what?

To get some sun.

Hankie always lets me use his terrace.

It's his terrace.

Besides no refrigerator,

we haven't any terrace, either.

Of course, I could lay up on the roof

if I'm bothering you.

But the roof isn't so good.

You see, the sun heats up

the tar paper on the roof.

I sat on it once and I got stuck in the tar.

Did you ever get stuck in tar?

Not lately.

Please, use the terrace, huh?

Thank you.

Where is she?

Hmm?

Your wife.

Oh, um...

She's in Hawaii.

Hawaii?!

Mm-hmm.

What a place! I was there once.

That's nice.

Boy, did I have a time.

I think a woman can have more fun

in Hawaii than anywhere else.

I'm sure she isn't having much fun.

Aren't the soldiers and sailors

stationed there anymore?

Uh, last I heard they were.

Then she's having fun.

She's having a kine pupu.

Kine pupu?

Kine pupu.

That means "ball."

Wahine ku oo leina

hu ah ki-kine pupu.

She's having a ball.

Hawaii.

What a...

Place for women.

What's so...

About it?

Are you kidding?

There must be 40 men to every woman there.

That's the kind of odds a woman can bet on.

Would you believe it?

When I was in Hawaii, I used to have sometimes

8 different dates in one night.

That's the place.

Waikiki beach in the moonlight.

The sound of ukuleles in your hair.

It's really something.

If you know what I mean.

You mean... Kine pupu?

Uh-huh.

Would you mind?

Hmm?

I don't want to burn.

Oh, sure, sure.

Is... is it really like that now?

I mean now that there's no war going on,

is it really like that for a girl over there?

40 to 1?

Oh, is it!

If a wahine's got looks, she can double that.

Ah, Hawaii!

I wish you wouldn't say it like that.

Oh, that's the only way to say it.

I want to go back there as soon as I can.

A woman gets to feel

like she's got orchids growing out of her head.

I guess it's the most man-and-woman place

in the whole world... I guess.

Of course, there'd be

no reason for me to go back there.

The weather can be just as warm here

if you're with the right...

Greg!

What? What is it?

You and Sandy?

Me and Sandy? I'm just oiling her.

I'm surprised.

Oiling me?!

You dumped it all over me!

Ohh!

I'm sorry!

Honest, I'm sorry.

Say, you haven't got some wild idea

about that kid and me?

Now, now, Greg, I'm not knocking it.

You don't really think

I'm interested in that child?

If that's a child, I'm getting me a bassinet.

You know I'm in love with my wife.

Now, Greg, take it easy. We're both men of the world.

Well, if we are, it so happens

I'm in the wrong part of the world.

Relax! I'm not gonna tell Katy.

Thanks for the use of the crowded hall, Hank.

Where you going?

To Hawaii! To that man-and-woman place

to get my woman!

Tell me, why, with a face like mine, would that child

pay attention to me? Tell me why!

She's probably been out in the sun too long!

I'll tell you why.

Because I'm married, that's why.

And because my wife's away, that's why.

Whenever married people are apart,

other people try to move in

and take advantage of their loneliness.

I'm bringing Katy back home where she belongs.

Belongs? She belongs

to the United States air force.

She belongs to me.

She's my wife!

Well, granted!

But you can't fight the United States air force!

I'm not gonna fight them.

I'm gonna sneak up behind them

and drop a bomb!

Kine pupu!

♪ Aloha oe ♪

♪ ike onaone noho ♪

♪ I ka lipo ♪

♪ one fond embrace... ♪

Security office. Lieutenant whitcomb speaking.

This is the gate, lieutenant.

There's a guy here says he's your husband.

That can't be. My husband's in California.

I figured this guy couldn't be

your husband, lieutenant.

He's got a kisser like a springer spaniel.

Springer spaniel?!

That's him! That's my husband!

I'll be right out!

Hi, Gregory!

Katy! Hey!

Come on, Katy!

Hi, darling!

Darling!

Ohh, Katy!

Mmm!

Hmm?

Maybe you two better go in there.

It's all right. We're married.

That's what I mean.

I've got a cab. Come on, honey.

Let's go somewhere quiet.

Darling, why didn't you tell me

you were coming?

Oh, I can't leave the base.

I'm the security officer.

Come on.

But I've got to talk to you. It's important.

I can't get off until Sunday.

Then we'll have the whole day alone.

Whole day? You can be out of here for good by Sunday.

What do you mean?

Come here.

I got it all figured out.

I know how to get you out of this.

Greg, you tried.

You know you can't do it.

I can't, but you can.

I should've come up with this before.

You can get out on a discharge.

Here. I made a list coming over.

I figured out 15 ways

for you to break regulations. 15!

Any one of them will get you

bounced out of the air force.

Greg, you can't be serious.

That would mean a dishonorable discharge.

You don't want us to be apart

for 2 whole years, do you?

We don't have to be apart.

We can be together here in Hawaii,

like another honeymoon.

Me live here?

Well, if it isn't the old-timer.

Hi.

Paying us a visit, eh?

It's more like I'm paying my wife a visit.

Don't be too long.

When you're through, lieutenant,

bring the security file on Murray Jarvis to my office.

Yes, captain.

What's he doing here?

Oh, he's stationed here.

I think maybe you're right about me living here.

You make the arrangements. I'll move right in.

Move in? Honey, I didn't mean

for you to live on the base.

I meant for you to rent an apartment for us.

Rent an apartment?

But if you're the security officer,

how often would I see you?

Whenever I can get off.

Once a week, probably.

6 nights a week without you?

No. I'll move in here.

But...you're the man in the family.

I don't want you living in quarters

like you're my wife.

I don't care if I'm living in quarters

like I'm your old maiden aunt.

Unless there's some reason you don't want me around.

You know better than that.

I have to go now, darling.

Find a place and let me know where it is.

I'll be there Sunday... without my uniform.

That's really something you got there, mister.

Don't I know it.

See you Monday.

I'll be moving in then.

I don't know about you, but where are we?

It's somewhere around here.

It's the best place Greg could find.

Everything else was taken by tourists.

He was lucky enough

to get a native cook, though.

Must have her own helicopter.

Hey there!

Do you know where the whitcomb place is?

Dr. Livingstone, I presume.

The top of the morning

to you, captain.

So long, Katy. Pick you up later.

Thanks, captain.

Drop in for tiffin anytime.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, honey!

Am I glad to see you.

I'd be glad to see you, too,

if I was sure it were you.

Oh, the beard.

All I had was an electric razor.

There isn't any electricity up here.

Are you sure there's any house up here?

Oh, it's not bad.

It's got southern exposure on all sides.

Is that the best you could find?

That's it.

The only alternative would be

for me to move in at the base.

Of course, that just wouldn't work out.

You're right, Katy. I'm not the wife type.

You sure aren't.

Aren't you going to show me

the inside of our house?

Mm-hmm!

Not now.

We wouldn't be alone.

The cook's working on lunch.

Oh.

Come on, let's take a swim.

We'll build up an appetite, huh?

My appetite's in good shape.

Lunch. Who wants lunch?

I told you.

There's nothing like a fast dip

to work up an appetite.

No, sir.

Come on, honey, lunch is ready.

Who isn't?

We have to have it while it's hot.

I'm with you.

Sit down, dear.

I bet you must be as starved as I am.

Oh, you're gonna enjoy this.

Ahh. Oh, you'll love her cooking.

She's a wonderful native woman.

Quiet, too.

Doesn't say a word.

Just dusts and cooks.

Cooks, cooks, cooks all the time.

She makes fish and poi

for a late evening snack

that would make your mouth water.

What fish. What poi.

What home cooking.

You know, of course, Katy,

requesting base quarters for a husband

is a bit irregular.

Yes, captain.

To my knowledge, this has not been done before.

Yes, captain.

What's the matter,

didn't he like the place he found?

It isn't that.

It's the food situation, captain.

You see, my husband is used to home cooking,

and I want it to stay that way.

Who's that? Has he got a pass?

He's got something.

Oh, yes, sir. He had a pass.

Sure glad you changed your mind, darling.

This will work out just fine.

I'll be able to get a lot of work done here.

You'll have all day to work.

You know I work better at night.

Why, lieutenant...

How you've changed.

This is the first time I've felt like saluting you.

You were saying?

Oh, yes. I love working...

During the day.

Greg, you're not tired of my cooking, are you?

You're my favorite blue plate.

You'll be happy here, won't you?

I mean, you're all over that silly idea

of me getting a dishonorable discharge.

Honey, it's all forgotten.

Honest, it's all forgotten.

Bye, dear.

Hi.

Good-bye.

Good morning.

Hi. Hi.

Who's that?

My husband.

What's he doing here?

He lives with his wife.

There's a law against it?

Not as long as he doesn't live

to get too neighborly.

Hello. Yes?

I'm Joan sweeney. I live next door.

Oh, how do you do?

The girls and I were just wondering if...

girls?

Betty smalley and Marie twitchell.

We were just wondering if by any chance

you play bridge.

We've needed a fourth for months,

and none of the other girls

around here can play.

I'm sorry. I really have a lot of work to do. I...

I'd love to.

You would?! He will!

Yeah.

Oh, that's wonderful!

We're playing at my place today,

and game time's 11:30.

We'll have lunch there.

Fine. See you.

Fine. Bye.

Bye.

Pass.

By me.

Would you get it, Mr. Whitcomb?

Sure.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Is this Honolulu 1-2784?

That's it.

Honolulu 1-2784.

Who's this?

Gregory whitcomb. Who do you want?

I want my wife! Where is she?

She's busy laying down a hand.

She's what?!

She's laying down a...

Just a minute.

It's your husband.

Well, I'm busy. Tell him to call me back.

She's busy. Will you call back?

Security office.

Let me speak to lieutenant whitcomb.

Greg?

Greg?

Greg.

Hi, honey!

Anyone I know?

That's a prize.

I won it playing bridge.

Oh, I'm sorry I'm late.

Did you have a hard day at the office, honey?

I had a very hard day.

And who were you bridging with?

Oh, some of the girls next door.

Watch.

You see, she, uh, shakes when you plug her in.

Why don't you ask me why I had a hard day?

Oh, I know why. It's being here.

You're not really suited to military life.

You should be back home.

Maybe I'm just not suited to military husbands

calling me up and having my head for lunch.

But, darling, what do you mean?

You know what I mean!

Mrs. Sweeney's husband didn't like the idea

of you playing kneesies with his wife all day,

and so didn't Mrs. Twitchell's husband

and Mrs. Smalley's husband,

and to tell you the truth, so didn't your wife.

But, darling, it was only

an innocent game of bridge.

There's nothing wrong

with that, is there?

Come in!

Of course, it's none of my business, Katy,

but I think you made a big mistake

moving him on the base.

What could I do, let him go native

out in the jungle with that glamor cook?

That gal could fry chicken

by just looking at it.

I never heard of a cook looking that good.

Well, this one did.

She looked as good as that...

I see what you mean.

Where are you going?

To see a dish about some fish and poi.

♪ And whenever those drums begin ♪

♪ like a tidal wave rollin' in ♪

♪ she goes around the island ♪

♪ rolls around the island ♪

♪ and all those kanes forget their fish and poi ♪

♪ akenui akenu ♪

♪ she's eager ♪

♪ akenui akenu ♪

♪ it means eager ♪

♪ akenui akenui ♪

♪ and how she shows her gratitude ♪

♪ both longitude and latitude ♪

♪ everybody comes out to see ♪

♪ when the lady from waikiki ♪

♪ goes around the island ♪

♪ rolls around the island ♪

♪ and all those islands rock, rock, rock with joy ♪

Out of the way, general!

Oh, sorry! Sorry!

♪ Akenui akenui ♪

♪ akenui akenu ♪

♪ she's pau ♪

How's the fish and poi, cookie?

I don't know what you're talking about.

You better know what I'm talking about,

or I'll saute your sarong, sister.

Get out of here!

Ok, start talking, hippy.

What were you doing down in sweet Leilani country

with my husband?

Take it easy. I wasn't doing

anything with your husband.

He paid me to pretend I was a cook.

That's all it was, honest.

Katy?

I'm in the kitchen, darling.

I've been down at the library

getting some research work done.

Can I help you?

No, darling. Dinner's about ready.

Sit down.

Sit down?

What's this?

What's this?

Fish and poi. Try it.

Try it!

Ugh!

It tastes like wallpaper paste.

It is wallpaper paste.

What are you trying to do, poison me?!

And what's this silly tablecloth

you've got on?

Tablecloth? Please!

Katy, what are you trying to do?

Excuse me. I feel a late evening snack coming on.

Katy!

♪ Ake nui, ake nui nui... ♪

Katy, stop it! That's not decent!

What's the matter,

don't you like kine pupu at home?

It's part of the do-it-yourself craze.

Katy!

♪ There's a lady from waikiki ♪

♪ does a wiggle that you should see ♪

♪ she goes around the island ♪

♪ rolls around the island ♪

♪ and all those islands... ♪

Katy, stop it!

Do I roll like the blue pacific

or like the Atlantic?

You know, sometimes I feel like the rocks

from the straits of Gibraltar.

Katy, stop it!

♪ Rolls around the island ♪

♪ and all those kanes forget their fish and poi ♪

♪ ake nui nui ♪

♪ she's eager, ake nui ♪

♪ ake nui, I mean eager, ake nui, ake nui ♪

♪ and how she shows her gratitude ♪

♪ both longitude and latitude... ♪

Now, what's this all about?

I thought you liked the theater.

Isn't that where you go to get your cooks?!

All right, I did go,

but I didn't go to see her dance.

No?

Oh, I suppose you thought with her maneuvers,

you could save on a mixmaster!

Katy, i...

Katy, I don't blame you.

I'll be honest.

I did pay her to play cook,

but only for one reason.

To make you jealous

so you'd let me move on the base.

And why did you want to move on the base?

I'll tell you.

To embarrass me.

And why did you want to embarrass me?

I'll tell you.

To get me out of the air force.

You haven't given up on that, have you?

Well, it isn't gonna work.

I wouldn't leave the air force now

if they wanted to use me for target practice!

But why do you want to stay?

♪ And all those kanes forget their fish and poi ♪

Because it's my duty. I have a job to do.

Your duty?

Do you have some wild idea

the air force would miss you if you left?

I don't know if the air force

would miss me.

But I do know I feel I'm important to them.

Katy...

I didn't mean it that way.

I...

but, Katy, you're important,

very important to me,

to our home.

Right now, this is our home.

Excuse me while I shower

and remove the excess poi.

Maybe I'm just getting the point.

Tell me the truth.

Do you still love me, Katy?

Sure, I love you.

I love you a lot!

But what about you, Greg?

Do you call love embarrassing me

and making a fool of yourself?

Greg, you got me so on edge

I don't know what I'm doing.

I work hard all day. I can't come home and...

and keep house and cook and go to the market

and worry about you and hootchy dancers.

It's too much.

Katy... You're right.

You won't have to worry about that anymore.

You've got a job to do.

I'll take care of the house.

Starting tomorrow, I'll do my part.

Make your breakfast, feed the fish,

do the housework,

take care of the laundry.

The afternoons, I'll write.

Then I'll get dinner ready,

wash the dishes, scrub the floors...

don't let it cut into your bridge.

I'll show you how much I love you!

I'll be the best darn wife

you ever had!

Hello?

Oh, joanie.

Fine. How are you?

No. No bridge.

Not today.

No, I'm busy with my housework.

A woman's work is never done.

Mommy, that lady looks like a man.

Shh! She'll hear you.

Hello?

Hank!

Well, how are you?

Where are you?

Here? Where?

Tropicana, bungalow 3.

I'll be right over...

as soon as I finish k.P.

Pardon me.

Which is bungalow 3?

Thank you.

Hank!

Greg!

Oh, good to see you!

How's Katy?

Oh, fine.

Wonderful.

It didn't take you long to go native.

What are you doing here?

Oh, just a little business and pleasure.

Oh. How about a drink?

Fine.

I almost fell over when you called up.

Business and pleasure, huh?

What business and what pleasure?

Oh, a couple of things.

One, I had to see Barney about his book.

Barney? Oh.

Well, tell me, you doing any writing?

Mm-mmm. Not much.

I really haven't the time.

I stay pretty busy during the day,

and at night I'm too tired

to think up fictional problems.

Hello, Mr. Whitcomb.

Hello, Sandy.

Well, you've got to write, lad.

You've got to think of me.

Who's going to pay for my trip?

I'll get to it eventually.

It's just that the setup here

is different...

Hank.

Yeah?

Make it good, but tell me,

what is she doing here?

She's the business I told you about.

Don't tell me you're just keeping her milk cold.

You know, I discovered she doesn't drink it.

She uses it for facials.

Henry! Are you out of your mind?

She's a child!

Not anymore, Mr. Whitcomb.

Thank you, dear. Have a nice facial.

I will, sweetheart.

Henry, you're married?!

Please, it's not a 4-letter word.

Well, come to think of it, it is.

L-o-v-e.

That spells love, doesn't it?

Congratulations.

Why, you sly old son of a gun.

But you were a happy bachelor.

You liked living alone.

You were a good cook and you had...

what happened?

Quote, "it's the companionship.

"The companionship of being in love

and close to someone for 3 wonderful years."

End quote.

You made me want that, Greg.

You made it work.

An older man married to a younger woman.

If it's good enough for my favorite client,

it's good enough for my favorite agent. Drink up.

I must have been drunk when I spouted that.

Cold sober.

You'd gone through a pot of coffee already.

Well, it doesn't work. It doesn't work at all.

When you've got something you've always wanted,

you've also got something you worry about losing.

That's another little quote to remember.

You should've been smart

and married a woman your own age.

My own age? Revolting.

If I could only get Katy back home

before it's too late.

I thought you were kidding about that.

Have you tried getting her out?

Everything but blowing up the base.

There's a thing known as section 8.

Yes, section 8.

Remember?

Army slang for insanity.

Sure, make her think her rocker is loose

and let the air force psychiatrist send her home.

Of course.

If Katy's rocker was loose...

You're a genius.

You must be taking the milk facials, too.

It'll work. I know it will!

Oh, no.

Only a cad would try to drive his wife crazy.

I couldn't do that. I...

I know.

Meet a cad.

One of the stinkingest.

Greg?

Hmm?

Time to get up, honey. I just heard reveille.

That's impossible.

Its only 2:30.

I could swear I just heard the bugle.

I know I did.

You just imagined it, dear.

I just imagined it.

Greg, wake up.

I really heard reveille that time.

Hmm?

What?

Sweetheart, it's only 3:45.

What's the matter with you?

I tell you, I heard it.

You just thought you heard it.

Now, honey,

you've got a hard day ahead of you tomorrow.

I'd better get you a pill.

But how can I hear things that aren't?

To be perfectly frank, you've been doing this

for quite a while.

Hearing things, talking in your sleep.

You even get up and go for walks.

Go for walks in my sleep?

Greg!

Greg!

Greg!

Ooh! Oh!

Greg! Greg! Huh?

How did I get outside?

Outside?

What are you talking about?

I woke up outside in a joop.

Joop?

I mean a Jeep.

What was I doing out there with this?

I don't know.

Maybe you thought it was easter.

Did you have another dream about eggs?

I don't remember.

I just woke up out...

another dream?!

A couple of nights ago,

I found you out on the lawn.

You were looking for worms.

You were cackling...

And then scratching

and saying you had laid the eggs.

Greg, what makes me do these things?

It's my fault.

I shouldn't have gone to sleep.

I should have... Looked out for you.

I'm sorry, darling.

But let's not talk about it.

You take a nice warm shower

and... and you'll feel better.

Hey, joanie!

Where are my new socks?

Stop yellin', will ya?

Can't you answer a civil question?

Now, where did you put my new socks?

They're under your old comic books

where you left them.

Very funny.

Would you step on this, please?

Sure.

Ow!

You!

Isn't playing bridge enough?

Or do you have to take baths with my wife?

Oh, I'm sorry, lieutenant.

I thought this was the men's shower.

Greg, what are you doing here?

I was just explaining to the lieutenant

that you wanted sweet potatoes...

well, come inside and explain it to me.

Excuse me, lieutenant.

Now, darling, you've got to understand...

I don't understand! Greg, I'm nervous!

I haven't slept!

Why do you do this to me?

That's why I did it. I was just standing in line

to keep an eye on you like I said.

To make sure you didn't do anything...Strange.

I'll get it.

Are you the peeping Tom?

Peeping Tom?

Have you been to the ladies' baths lately?

Oh, yes.

Oh, that. I... I can explain that.

Yeah. Come on, buster.

In other words, you do all the woman's work

in your household?

I'd rather not talk about it.

I'd rather not.

Then suppose I talk to your wife about it?

Oh, no! Don't do that, doctor!

Don't bother Katy with questions.

She may get violent!

I shouldn't have said that.

Is it your wife's idea for you to act the wife?

Well, yes.

You see, Katy isn't...

I mean, she hears things,

like bugles blowing all night.

And she's afraid the air force

will dismiss her.

She's very duty-minded.

She hears bugles?

Yes.

Never taps, just reveille.

She talks in her sleep, walks in her sleep.

She's like a pack rat. She secretes things.

Eggs in bed,

sweet potatoes in her pocket.

Eggs in bed,

sweet potatoes in her pocket.

I can't let her out of my sight.

That's why I lined up

with the girls... to watch her.

To see she didn't start smoking

a cigar or something.

Don't you think I'd better see your wife?

Oh, no. If she ever knew...

suppose I come to dinner at your place?

I could observe her without her knowledge.

If she is under a strain,

it might be better to relieve her

of her duties.

You may be right.

But don't tell her you're a psychiatrist.

I won't.

Tonight, say, uh, 7:30?

Fine.

And thank you, doctor.

I'll try to prepare a nice dinner.

Security office, lieutenant whitcomb.

Katy.

Greg, where are you?

I'm home, darling.

What happened? I've been so worried.

They asked a lot of questions

and they finally told me

to take my baths at the ymca.

Are you sure you're all right?

Don't worry, sweetheart.

Oh, by the way, I'm having an old friend

over for dinner.

I'm so tired. I didn't sleep

with that bugle going all night.

I'll... I'll see you later.

Bye, Greg.

Good-bye.

Bugle?

What bugle?

I got a bugle in my head.

It goes off and wakes me up

like an alarm clock.

Don't you think perhaps you need a change, Katy?

I need a new head.

I think I'm having a breakdown.

Nervous, I mean.

I could arrange a transfer for you, Katy.

Say a quiet place like Wiesbaden, Germany.

Nice mountain air, do you good.

Get you away from your trouble.

It's in my head. I can't get away from that.

You've got nothing wrong with your head

and you aren't hearing bugles.

Now give me a match.

I heard one. Honest.

2 times...

And then I woke up in a Jeep,

with 3 eggs in my lap.

I don't believe it.

You're a perfectly normal girl.

Well, what I'll do, doctor,

is to introduce you as an old friend of mine

from guadalcanal...

George Smithers.

Fine. George Smithers.

Well, what'll it be, scotch or bourbon?

Scotch is fine.

Water or soda?

Water.

Sit down... Georgie.

I don't know.

I got 2 bottles at the liquor store, and...

I don't know where they are.

Now, where did Katy put that scotch?

She hides everything.

She puts things in the darnedest places.

No scotch,

but here's the chaser.

Come here, look for yourself.

Would you believe anyone would do a thing like this?

Believe me, I can hardly believe it.

I bet I know where she put the booze.

Come on.

Once before, I smelled her earlobes.

Straight bourbon.

"Heavenly night."

80 proof.

She really does need care,

doesn't she, doctor?

Obviously.

That's her.

Play it straight, Georgie.

Don't worry, I will.

Hello, darling.

How do you feel?

I'm kind of tired, Greg.

Yeah, I know.

You work too hard.

Oh, honey, this is an old friend of mine,

major George Smithers, from guadal...

how do you do, major?

How do you do, lieutenant?

If you'll excuse me, I'll freshen up a bit.

Did you get the groceries?

Groceries? What groceries?

Well, I gave you the list this morning.

Don't you remember? You put it in your bag.

I'd rather not look in my bag.

I'll get the groceries, dear.

No, I'll go get them.

You mix the drinks, Greg.

I'll drive your wife down and get the groceries.

Good idea.

Give you two a chance to get acquainted.

What are you doing here? Did you forget something?

Yes.

I forgot to tell you

I'm the base psychiatrist,

and there's nothing wrong with you.

What do you mean?

Come on.

Don't be surprised if your cold cream

is rather lumpy tonight.

Well, what's he doing that for?

Shh!

He's crazy.

He's drinking my temptation.

Well, that must be the scotch.

The bourbon was in heavenly night.

Well, stop him. He'll get sick.

He is sick.

♪ La da da ta ta ♪

He's putting eggs in there.

All men dream of having

a little chicken ranch someday.

Has he been blowing that bugle?

I'm afraid so.

You're right.

Sick, sick, sick.

He's in love, lieutenant.

Hmm. You call that love,

making me think my bolts are loose?

He wrote a story like that once

for television.

About a husband who made his wife think

she was ready for the... Funny farm.

Love takes strange forms, lieutenant.

In this case,

your husband's afraid of losing you.

I got a t.L.

He doesn't have to be afraid anymore.

He has.

Let's get to the market. Hmm?

Then you really think

there's something wrong, doctor?

Oh, definitely.

Mm-hmm.

Oh... Split personality.

Split 4 ways.

That bad, huh?

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Between us,

someone will have to move off the base.

Good.

But I can't figure out

why she wanted to dress up and cook dinner tonight.

She's always insisted I do it.

You don't supposed she's becoming normal again?

I'm sure she's far from normal now.

There's bound to be another disturbance.

If I were you, I'd be prepared.

Dinner's ready, boys!

She found my bugle.

Your bugle? What do you mean?

Uh... I mean, uh...

Where did she get that bugle?

Well, on the way back from the grocery,

she bought one.

She told me she was Harry James.

Harry James?

Oh, doc, I've gone too far.

♪ Do do la de do do... ♪

Harry. I... I mean Katy.

Are you all right?

♪ Do do... ♪

Sit down, Betty.

Dinner's ready.

She's really cracking now.

Now?

You said she cracked before.

Uh... oh... I mean, I said I thought she had.

Now I'm worried.

♪ Mm la da da da dum ♪

♪ do do la da da ♪

Ooh, I do wish they'd fix this roof.

Drip, drip, drip, drip,

drip...drip!

Sit down, gentlemen.

Katy, you better go to bed.

Oh, no.

It's bad luck to go to bed with an umbrella.

Sit down. Humor her.

Oh, yes, sure, sure.

Let me freshen your drinks.

Oh, doc, I've gone too far.

I've driven her out of her mind.

Katy... oh...

Darling...

This man isn't a friend of mine.

He's a psychiatrist.

He can be a friend to you.

Lay down, sweetheart.

Talk to him.

He can help you.

Do you know, doctor,

I love the smell of rum.

It's so sexy.

That's too sexy.

Have an egg shampoo.

Yih... Katy!

Oh, dear me.

I forgot the corn.

It's creamed corn, darling.

Ohh!

The way you like it.

We must have our dinner music.

I forgot all about it.

I'll put on a platter.

I don't like this platter.

Uhh! Katy!

And I don't like you.

Good-bye, Mr. Whitcomb.

You can have custody of the eggs,

the sweet potatoes,

and the bugle.

You can cook, blow,

and hatch yourself crazy.

Wiesbaden, here I come.

Katy!

Katy, come back!

Come back!

I'll see you when I get back from Tokyo.

It's too bad you're not going there.

Great place, Tokyo.

I spent a wonderful leave there.

It was right after I got my 10th mig.

Did I ever tell you about my 10th mig?

I don't think so.

Well, I was on patrol,

ambling along at about 12,000 feet,

when I spotted 6 migs at 11 o'clock.

Well, I banked around sharply and...

one side, son.

Yes, sir!

I'd like to dance with my wife.

Of course, sir.

Now what do you think you're doing?

A last dance with my wife.

Any harm in that?

Not that I care anymore,

you might get 20 years for impersonating an officer.

It's worth it to tell you that...

I'm sorry, Katy.

Really sorry for every fool thing I did.

Oh, please, Greg, leave me alone.

I understand you're leaving for Germany tomorrow.

Will you see my lawyers,

or shall I see yours?

We'll see yours.

I don't speak German.

Good-bye, lieutenant.

Thank you for the dance.

Good-bye.

Attention!

You better talk to your client.

He's been here impersonating an officer.

Katy, he is an officer.

What?

Yes, he's back in.

He passed his physical.

It's official.

Washington ok'd his reactivation here.

But his knee.

Strange about his knee.

Turns out it's psychosomatic.

Seems he's always been afraid of losing you,

and every time he thought he was,

well... The knee gave out.

He probably wanted you to feel sorry for him,

so he'd bring out the mother in you.

He does the same thing in a different way.

Don't you, hankie?

Yes, mother.

Anyway, it's what the psychiatrist said.

But now that Greg's faced losing you

and knows that it's final, he's adjusted to it

and his knee is cured.

You mean I gave him the bad knee.

Oh, not intentionally,

but psychologically,

his knee joint was affected.

I need a drink, please.

Have a milk punch.

It's good.

Flight 606

leaving for Wiesbaden, Germany.

Well, major...

Oh, captain.

You won.

Won?

You won your war with the air force.

What do you mean?

Your wife doesn't know it yet,

but she isn't going to Wiesbaden.

She's not?

She didn't pass her overseas physical.

To be brutally frank, major,

uh, there was a rabbit involved in her tests.

Said rabbit confessed all.

Here's the medical report.

You mean I'm a...

congratulations, dad.

You owe me a cigar.

Do you want to tell her or shall I?

I'm...

Katy!

Katy!

Katy!

Katy.

Excuse me, major. I'm about to become...

oh, how right you are.

Oh, Katy, listen to me.

Captain Briggs told me...

captain Briggs told me about your medical report!

About the rabbit! The rabbit!

Katy! You and me!

Me?! Me?!

You're a mother! I'm a father!

Us!

Me?

A baby? A baby!

This is Beverly Hills.

This is the house that belongs to Jack Benny.

This is the house that belongs to Deborah kerr.

This house belongs to Jean Simmons.

This house belongs to Bob cummings.

This house belongs to us.

It belongs to me,

a w.A.F. Of the korean war,

and it belongs to him,

a hero of the second world war.

And it certainly belongs to him...

The hero of our last encounter.