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**

* OH, OH

* WHOA, OH-OH-OH-OH

* WHEN THE WAVES COMES CRASHING DOWN ON HEAVEN * * HE WILL BE THERE

* WHEN THE SKY SENDS THUNDER THROUGH THE HORIZON AND THE RAIN KEEPS FALLING *

* DO YOU BELIEVE IN TRUTH OR IN FANTASY * * SAID YOU WOULD BE THERE

* DON'T FORGET HE RISKED IT ALL FOR ONE LAST CHANCE AT GOING SOMEWHERE *

* OH, OH

* WHOA, OH

* THERE WAS A TIME WHEN ALL HIS DREAMS WERE IN HIS HANDS *

* NOW HE'S SPINNING

* LUCKY CHARMS AND ONE-EYED JACKS WON'T BRING IT BACK *

* THE WRITING'S ON THE WALL

* AND THE DAY WHEN HE BELIEVED WOULD NEVER BE * * NOW IT'S COME, OH-OH

* ALL THE CRACKS HE'S STARIN' AT BELONG TO HIM *

* BUT A LONG TIME AGO

* WHOA-OH *

YOU CUT THE WRONG PLANT ! THE PLANT YOU WANT TO CUT IS OVER THERE !

WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT ? YOU TOLD ME, "CUT THIS PLANT" ! THAT PLANT IS WRONG.

YOU WRONG ! YOU'RE FIRED ! YOU CAN'T FIRE ME !

NO ! GO HOME ! GO HOME ! TODAY IS SCHOOL DAY !

NO KIDNAP ! TWINS CANNOT PARTY !

LEAVE MR. DEEDLE ALONE !

HEY, COME ON. IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, DUDE !

DEEDLE, WAKE UP !

WHAT'S UP, MAN ?

COME ON ! GET OUT OF BED ! OH, WHAT ?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !

YEAH-HEH-HEH ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEEDLES !

WHOO-HOO ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US, BRO !

THAT'S RIGHT. BIG 18, FULLY LEGAL !

FULLY LEGAL AND LIVING REGAL !

YEAH, JUST ANOTHER SCHOOL DAY IN PARADISE.

YOU'VE DITCHED SCHOOL FOR THE LAST TIME, DEEDLES.

MAN, WE SHOULD HAVE BIRTHDAYS MORE OFTEN.

OH, INDEED. YEAH !

OH, HEINOUS ! IT'S CAPTAIN HOOKY !

HEY ! HEY ! IT'S THE PRIMO PARTY POOPER !

WELL, WHAT DO WE DO ? LET'S GO, MAN !

DITCH HIM ! YEAH ! DITCH CAPTAIN HOOKY !

SPEEDBOAT ! PULL OVER !

OH, WHAT ? LOOK ! HE'S CHARGING.

I SAID, PULL THAT THING OVER !

HEY, HE'S GOT THEM FULLY LOCKED ON ! LET'S BAIL FOR THE BEACH !

WHOO-HOO ! PARTY'S OVER ! SORRY, BOSS !

NICE TRY, DEEDLES.

NO WAY ! SINGLED OUT !

- CAN'T SHAKE THIS GUY ! - YEAH, WE'LL NEVER REACH THE BEACH !

WHAT DO YOU SAY, BRO ? NO ESCAPE ? NO SURRENDER !

YOU WANT US, HOOKY ? THEN YOU GOT US !

AHHH ! BANZAI !

KILLER DISMOUNT ! YEAH !

DEEDLES !

AND I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU'VE DONATED TO THE SCHOOL,

BUT YOU KNEW YOUR SONS COULDN'T MISS ANY MORE CLASSES.

THEY KNEW THEY COULDN'T MISS ANY MORE CLASSES.

AND I'M SORRY, MR. DEEDLE, BUT I-I REALLY HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE.

ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. I'M VERY SORRY.

PRINCIPAL HAMM SAYS YOU HAVE BEEN EXPELLED. WHAT ?

DAD, IT'S NOT OUR FAULT. WE GOT KIDNAPPED ON OUR BIRTHDAY.

YEAH. WHY CAN'T WE GET OUR BIRTHDAY OFF LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ?

WHO'S EVERYONE ELSE ? UH, WASHINGTON,

LINCOLN-- MARTY LUTHER KING, THE BABY JESUS, DAD !

THIS IS ALL MY FAULT, ISN'T IT ?

I DID THIS TO YOU BOYS BY GIVING YOU EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED.

I NEVER DID GET THAT PONY. FROM NOW ON, BOYS, THINGS ARE GONNA BE DIFFERENT.

TODAY YOU'RE 18 YEARS OLD. THIS IS REALITY TIME.

YOU ARE THE HEIRS TO MY LEGACY.

YOU ONE DAY WILL TAKE OVER THE ENTIRE DEEDLES EMPIRE.

AND YOU ARE SURF BUMS !

WITH NO PLANS FOR HIGHER EDUCATION,

NO CHANCE OF SURVIVAL ON YOUR OWN.

THEREFORE, AS YOUR FATHER,

YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE.

YOU TWO ARE GOING TO CAMP.

CAMP ? THAT'S RIGHT. CAMP.

AS IT HAPPENS, I REMEMBER AN OLD 'NAM BUDDY OF MINE CALLED ED FLOWER.

HE RUNS A CAMP FOR BOYS YOUR AGE.

YOU GO THERE FOR A MONTH,

YOU COME BACK MEN.

YOU COME BACK DEEDLES. A MONTH AT SOME CAMP ?

NOW, A FEW MORE REQUESTS.

WHEN YOU GO TO THAT CAMP,

I WANT YOU TO BEHAVE. I WANT YOU TO WORK HARD.

I WANT YOU TO IMPRESS MAJOR FLOWER.

SO, WHEN YOU GET ON THAT PLANE TOMORROW,

YOU'RE GONNA WEAR SUITS.

CAMP BROKEN SPIRIT ?

THAT'S RIGHT, BOY. CAMP BROKEN SPIRIT.

JUST OUTSIDE YELLOWSTONE.

YELLOWSTONE, WYOMING ?

WYOMING'S ON MOLOKAI, RIGHT ?

WYOMING'S NOT IN HAWAII, BRO.

IT'S ON THE MAINLAND.

NO !

FOLKS, IT'S CURRENTLY 35 DEGREES WITH SCATTERED SNOW SHOWERS.

SO, BUNDLE UP AND ENJOY YOUR STAY IN WYOMING.

STEW, MAN, WE'VE LANDED IN A SLURPEE !

EASY, BRO. WE'RE COVERED.

GOOD THING DAD SAID TO WEAR SUITS. NO DOUBT.

HEY, KEEP YOUR PEEPS PEELED FOR THE FLOWER BUD'S MUG.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO MEET HIM OUT FRONT AT HIGH NOON.

KIDS ! NOON ? THAT'S LIKE IN FOUR HOURS.

PHIL, DID YOU CHANGE YOUR WATCH ?

WHAT ? I LIKE THIS WATCH.

WE'RE IN A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE, BUD.

BRO, TIME IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.

AND RIGHT NOW I'M MAKING IT DA KINE HULA TIME. DA KINE HULA TIME.

**

A SHOT OF GUAVA, SOME KILLER O.J.,

A LITTLE JUGO DE PINA.

ADD A DASH OF ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER-- BAM !

BAM ! ONE...

RICOLA !

ONE MENTOS... THE FRESHMAKER.

ADD FIRE...

AND TROPICAL-THEMED ACCOUTREMENTS...

- AND YOU GOT...

I'LL MEET YOU AT THE COUNTER. I'M COMING.

I'M SORRY. MAN...

LOOK AT ALL THE... NOTHING.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BIG TIME SCENIC. BEAUTY EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK.

OH, THEN DON'T LOOK NOW.

YOW ! SOMEBODY SURE GOT WHACKED WITH THE UGLY STICK.

MR. BIGFOOT. MR. SASQUATCH D. BIGFOOT ?

PLEASE PICK UP THE WHITE COURTESY PHONE.

MAJOR NIGHTMARE.

- WHOA ! A BULLWINKLE !

LOOK ! A BAMBI !

AND A DEAD PEPE LE PEW !

AH, TOO COOL, STEW. THIS IS JUST LIKE WATCHING A NATURE SHOW ON TELEVISION.

OR, IN THIS CASE, SMELL-A-VISION. WHAT WAS THAT ?

WHAT WAS WHAT ? YOU THINK I CAN'T HEAR YOU ?

I'M A MOUNTAIN MAN, DEEDLE ! I CAN HEAR THE WIND SHIFT,

A LEAF SPROUT, A FISH FART UNDER A WATERFALL. EWW.

BUT THE ONE THING I TRULY CANNOT STAND IS-- BATHING ?

YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE, DEEDLE.

NO, YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE, FLOWER. YOU'RE A MAJOR FRAUD !

YEAH, WHAT'S WITH THE FANCY FLIER AND THE NICE CLEAN MUG SHOT...

AND THE BRIGHT, SHINY MINIVAN FULL OF HAPPY SMILING KIDS ?

YOU'RE A TOTAL SCAM-MEISTER ! YEAH, AND YOU FULLY HOODWINKED OUR NORMALLY UNHOODWINKABLE DAD.

WHO, INCIDENTALLY, I AM E-MAILING THE NANOSECOND WE GET TO CAMP B.S.

OH, YEAH ? WELL, THAT COULD BE A TAD TRICKY.

'CAUSE THERE AIN'T NO CAMP BROKEN SPIRIT ANYMORE.

W WHAT ?

I LOST IT LAST MONTH.

I LOST IT TO THE DANG PARENTS AND THEIR SCUMBAG LAWYERS !

WELL, I DON'T NEED A CAMP FOR WHAT I GOT PLANNED FOR YOU TWO.

W SURVIVAL TRAINING !

ROUGHING IT ! GOING ONE-ON-ONE WITH THE ELEMENTS.

I'M TALKING THE BARE NECESSITIES. THE THREE THINGS YOU NEED TO STAY ALIVE--

FOOD, CLOTHING AND SHELTER.

FIRST, CLOTHING. WE'LL HAVE TO TRAP SOMETHING THAT'S GOT A LOT OF FUR.

A BEAR'S GOOD. YOU CAN MAKE THE WHOLE OUTFIT.

BUT, UH, EVEN A SKINNY SQUIRREL MAKES A FINE FUR JOCKSTRAP.

WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE. SINCE SQUIRRELS HIDE NUTS.

THANK YOU ! I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK.

I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR GUFF. YOU GOT ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY, YOU SAY IT !

IF YOU DON'T, SHUT UP !

- I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY.

TURN ?

MO !

GUESS WHAT WAS WAITING FOR US AT THE P.O. BOX ?

- WE'VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS RANGER RECRUITS !

- THEY WANT US TO START RIGHT AWAY ! - THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION.

COME ON. I'VE GOT TWO JARS OF SUN TEA WARMING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SPRING.

YELLOWSTONE, HERE WE COME !

RATS !

SCREWED UP AGAIN.

FROSTICULAR !

OH, MAN. I KILLED 'EM.

LAWYERS !

IF YOU CAN'T FIND ME, YOU CAN'T FRY ME !

STEW, WHAT ABOUT THE MAJOR, MAN ? DO YOU THINK HE'S DEAD ?

FLOWER ? COME ON. THE GUY'S GONNA OUTLIVE THE COCKROACH.

OH, WHAT DO WE DO NOW, MAN ? I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SKIN A SQUIRREL.

OH, RELAX, NUT BRAIN. WE DON'T NEED SURVIVAL TRAINING.

WE SURVIVED THIS, DIDN'T WE ?

ALL WE GOTTA DO IS FIND DRY DUDS.

AND A FIRE.

OKAY. WE'RE LOST IN WYOMING, WEARING CHICKS' CLOTHES,

AND I'M WHIPPING UP ONE WICKED WEDGIE.

ANYWAY, WE'RE BACK IN BIZ, BUD. NOW WHAT ?

SIMPLE. FLY HOME, TELL DAD WHAT HAPPENED, MIX A HULA, HIT THE BEACH.

DUDE, IT'S A GOOD THING YOU PACKED THE JAMMERS. SURE BEATS HITCHHIKING.

YEAH. HITCHHIKING'S DANGEROUS.

YEAH ! LET'S CRASH, DUDE. RIPPING IT UP !

I'M ON YA, BRO ! YEAH ! WHOO ! WHOO-HOO !

LAND LUGE !

WHOO-HOO ! YEAH !

YEAH-HA-HA !

STEW, MAN ! FOLLOW ME !

WHOA ! OFF THE ROAD !

WHOA ! WEED WHACKER ! YEAH !

[ Electronic Humming, Glass Rattling ]

BRO, ARE YOU SURE THE AIRPORT'S THIS WAY ?

PHIL, WHO WEARS THE GLASSES IN THIS FAMILY ?

**

WHOA ! CURVACEOUS !

SIDE HAT !

WHOO ! YEAH !

WHOO-HOO !

LEAN ! PULL !

OH, NO ! OH, NO !

STEW, MAN. MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP.

STOPPING REQUIRES BRAKES, PHIL.

WHOO-HOO ! YEAH !

OH NO !

Y-YES.

WHOA ! GRIDLOCK !

FACE-PLANT !

WHOA !

KILLER DISMOUNT.

OH, NO !

H.Q., THIS IS CAPTAIN PINE. GET AN AMBULANCE TO THE EAST GATE, PRONTO.

CHECK TO SEE IF THEY GOT ANY I.D.

CAPTAIN.

UH, THIS SAYS "MEL."

THIS SAYS "MO" ?

GREAT.

THESE ARE MY NEW RECRUITS.

STEW ! HEY, STEW, MAN !

UHH. COOL.

WE'RE ALIVE. OW ! MY HEAD.

YEAH. WE'VE DIED AND COME BACK MUMMIES.

AND DUDE, WE'RE NUDE, NUDE, NUDE, TOTALLY NUDE.

WHO DID THIS TO US ?

OH, MY, MY ! LOOK WHO'S AWAKE.

YOU TWO ROOKIES TOOK QUITE A SPILL, BUT DON'T WORRY. THERE IS NOT A NICK ON YOU.

AND YOU KNOW I'VE LOOKED. MM-HMM.

CAN I BE MORE EMBARRASSED ? AND I HAND-WASHED YOUR PANTIES !

- YES, I CAN. - LADY EVE ALL-COTTON HIPSTERS.

- ME TOO, HON. IT'LL BE OUR SECRET.

AW, MAN ! I TOLD YOU IF WE WORE THEM, WE'D GET INTO AN ACCIDENT.

WE HAD NO CHOICE. OURS WERE SOAKED.

I'LL GIVE YOU SOAKED, YOU GREMMIE !

UH-- AH-- AH-AH-AH !

UH-UH ! HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY ! BOYS, STOP !

NOW, MEL...

AND MO.

I AM SURE YOU TWO DON'T WANT...

TO BE ACTING LIKE THIS IF YOU EXPECT TO MAKE RANGER !

SO WHY DON'T YOU TWO ROOKIES JUST KICK BACK...

AND CHILL OUT ?

OH. HEAR THAT ? CHOPPER COMIN' IN.

AND NOW THAT YOU TWO ARE UP, I AM SURE THE LIEUTENANT WILL WANT TO SHOW YOU AROUND,

AND IF YOU ARE SMART, YOU WILL BEHAVE...

SINCE, UNLIKE ME, LIEUTENANT RYAN WILL NOT TAKE YOUR LIP.

GOOD.

[ Helicopter Blades Whirring ]

HEY, BRO, DID YOU GET ALL THAT ?

THEY THINK WE'RE THIS "MEL" AND "MO." THEY THINK WE'RE RANGER ROOKIES.

OH, BONUS ROUND ! WHY "BONUS ROUND" ?

BECAUSE, INSTEAD OF GOING HOME TO DAD AS A COUPLE OF CAMP B.S. DROPOUTS,

WE CAN BOOMERANG TRIUMPHANT AS TWO PRESTIGIOUS,

UNIFORM-SPORTING, BADGE-FLASHING RANGERS OF THE YELLOWSTONE PARK SERVICE.

WHOA. TAKE IT DOWN A THOUSAND, STEW, MAN.

FIRST OFF, WE DON'T KNOW SQUAT ABOUT PARK RANGERING.

AND WHAT ABOUT THE REAL ROOKIES, THIS "MEL" AND "MO" ? THEY'RE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE, MAN.

DUDE, IF THEY SHOW UP AND WE'RE THEM, THEY'LL POUND US.

AND DON'T THINK THEY CAN'T, MAN. I'VE SEEN THEIR PANTIES.

GOOD POINT. BUT CONSIDER THIS: EVERYONE KNOWS WE TOOK A HEADER, RIGHT ?

SO, IF MEL AND MO SHOW, WE CAN CLAIM WE GOT AMNESIA.

WHEN THEY SAID WE WERE THEM, WE JUST BOUGHT IT.

AMNESIA ? THAT IS SO GILLIGAN. NO.

WHAT'S GILLIGAN IS CONSTANTLY BEING A SCREW-UP. BUT THIS IS A CHANCE TO PROVE OURSELVES.

- TWO WORDS, STEW: NO. - BUT DAD SAID TO SHOW INITIATIVE.

I SAID NO, BRO, AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE MY MIND.

HEY, GUYS. I'M LIEUTENANT JESSE RYAN.

AND WE'RE YOUR TWO NEW RECRUITS !

SO, YOU'RE MEL AND MO. I MUST SAY, WE WERE ALL A BIT CURIOUS ABOUT YOU...

SINCE YOUR RESUMES SAID NOTHING ABOUT SEX.

WE DIDN'T KNOW IF "MEL AND MO" WERE GONNA BE MALE, FEMALE, OR SOME COMBINATION.

WELL, I'M 100% MALE.

IT'S, UH, MY PAL HERE WHO'S SOME COMBINATION. IN YOUR DREAMS !

WELL, LOOK WHO'S UP AND AROUND.

BOYS, I'M CAPTAIN PINE. WHO'S MEL AND, UH, WHO'S MO ?

UH, WE ARE, SIR. I'M MEL. AND I'M MEL.

I MEAN, I'M MO. I'M MO.

UH, WE SWITCH BACK AND FORTH, SINCE, UM, MEL AND MO ARE JUST NICKNAMES...

LIKE JESSE IS SHORT FOR JESSICA.

YEAH, AND, UM, CAPTAIN PINE IS SHORT FOR CAAAPTAIN PIIIINE.

WHAT ARE MEL AND MO SHORT FOR ?

OH, PHIL AND STEW. DEEDLE. REPORTING FOR RANGERLY DUTY, SIR.

FINE, ROOKIES. FOLLOW ME.

THANKS FOR GETTING HERE SO QUICKLY.

AND THE SOONER YOU TWO GET STARTED ON THE PRAIRIE DOG SITUATION, THE BETTER.

I NEED THEM GONE BY SATURDAY. THE PRAIRIE DOG SITUATION ?

YEAH, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE NOW. WE HAVE A VERY BIG EVENT JUST A WEEK AWAY.

IT'S OLD FAITHFUL'S BILLIONTH BIRTHDAY.

WHOA ! YOUR GEYSER'S A GEEZER.

WELL, ACTUALLY, THE BILLION IS ONLY A CEREMONIAL GUESSTIMATE,

BASED ON THE GEOLOGICAL AGE OF THE PARK.

EVEN SO, THERE'S GONNA BE A LOT OF IMPORTANT PEOPLE HERE.

AND I DON'T NEED PRAIRIE DOGS RIPPING UP MY YELLOWSTONE.

SO, WHEN CAN YOU GET STARTED ?

WHEN DO WE GET RANGER BADGES ?

WELL, YOU'LL TRAIN A WEEK, GRADUATE SATURDAY...

AND, UH, STAY UNTIL FALL, OKAY ?

THREE-OH, CAPTAIN TONTO.

YEAH. RIGHT.

HEY, HEY, HEY ! WHAT THE HECK ? SOMEBODY CALL THE RANGER !

WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS ? GOPHERS ?

GOPHERS ? THOSE ARE PRAIRIE DOGS !

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT ! OH !

WHOA !

MOM, THEY'RE EATING OUR FOOD ! I WANNA GO HOME !

DANG.

UH-OH. MR. CRABBE'S GOT A-- A SURFACE BREACH, SIR.

UP AT THE TUNNEL HEAD ? NEMO.

INCREASE THEIR FOOD. I NEED MY PRAIRIE DOGS DIGGING UNDER YELLOWSTONE,

NOT RUNNING AROUND CREATING SUSPICION.

YES, SIR, MR. SLATER, SIR. NOW...

TAKE THE SUBTERRANEAN SHUTTLE AND HELP MR. CRABBE SEAL UP THAT LEAK !

RIGHT.

THAT OLD BLOWHARD BETTER NOT SEE HER BILLIONTH BIRTHDAY !

YELLOWSTONE. MY YELLOWSTONE.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S ABOUT TO HIT YOU.

GREETINGS. KONICHIWA.

BIENVENIDOS. HOW ARE YA ?

OH, BRO. WE'RE A WALKING KODAK MOMENT.

IT'S FULLY DEEDLEMANIA.

AND WHY NOT ? WE GOT THE FULL-ON DUDLEY DO-RIGHT HATS.

MATCHING PRIMO EARTH-TONE DUDS. THAT'S RIGHT.

WALKIE-TALKIES, COOL HANDCUFFS.

I LOVE A GAL IN UNIFORM.

Y

INSERT LAUGH HERE.

A-AND WHY DO YOU GET THE GIRL ?

'CAUSE I'M OLDER. TWO MINUTES.

OLDER'S OLDER. BRO, THE LIEUTENANT IS NOT SOME SCAMMABLE HAOLE BABE...

YOU CAN SEDUCE WITH YOUR SURFERLY CHARMS.

DUDE, AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHY SHE MELTS ME.

SHE'S NOT LIKE ANY GIRL I MET BEFORE, MAN. SHE'S SPECIAL.

AND WHEN I SEE HER, I HEAR HARPS AND ELEVATOR TUNES,

AND THESE CARTOONY HEARTS START FLOATING AROUND MY HEAD,

AND I GET THIS RUSH LIKE I'M CHARGING MACKING PIPELINE.

DUDE, IF THAT'S NOT LOVE, THEN WHAT IS IT ?

OKAY, ROOKIES. HERE ARE YOUR PARK RULES AND REGULATIONS. THEY'RE YOURS TO KEEP.

AND IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, JUST ASK.

HEY ! I GOT ONE !

WHO'S THIS GUY ? THAT'S FRANK SLATER.

HE WAS HEAD RANGER BEFORE THE INCIDENT.

WHAT INCIDENT ?

SIX YEARS AGO, PARK ATTENDANCE WAS DOWN AND SLATER TRIED TO BOOST IT...

BY GETTING SOME OF THE EXTINCT GEYSERS TO START FLOWING AGAIN.

WELL, ONE OF THE GEYSERS HE STARTED MESSING WITH SUDDENLY BLEW, AND IT NEARLY KILLED HIM.

NO WAY !

IT ALSO PUT SIX TOURISTS IN THE HOSPITAL.

AND WHEN THE SUPERINTENDENT FOUND OUT THAT SLATER WAS TO BLAME,

HE FIRED HIM AND BANNED HIM FROM THE PARK FOREVER.

NOBODY'S SEEN SLATER SINCE.

HEY, STEW. GUESS WHO.

MMM MMM ! MY FACE IS BURNING !

REDWOOD POST ? BUILDING FOUNDATION.

YOU JUST HIT A BUILDING, MR. CRABBE.

I HAVE GIVEN YOU PRECISE COORDINATES.

YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT IT IS THAT THIS TUNNEL BE EXACT.

WELL, YES, SIR.

BUT WE ARE UNDER THE RANGER VILLAGE AND, UH,

I GUESS THE PRAIRIE DOGS MUST'VE VEERED A LITTLE OFF COURSE.

OR, IN THIS CASE, A LOT OFF COURSE.

WELL, IF YOU HAD TO HIT A BUILDING...

YOU JUST PICKED A PIP.

BECAUSE RIGHT NOW,

WE ARE DIRECTLY UNDER THE OFFICES OF DOUGLAS F. PINE.

HAND ME MY LIQUID KIBBLE INJECTOR.

WHAT A DAY.

OH, YEAH !

PUT THAT BOOGER RIGHT IN THERE. STICK IT RIGHT IN THERE.

HO, HO ! YES !

OH. LISTEN UP.

UH, THIS IS STEW AND PHIL DEEDLE,

HEY. HI. OUR TWO NEW RECRUITS.

LIEUTENANT. JUST IN TIME FOR DINNER.

LISTEN. WHY DON'T WE GIVE THEM A NICE BIG WYOMING WELCOME, HUH ?

THESE BOYS SPENT MOST OF LAST YEAR WORKING WITH THE PEACE CORPS,

RIDDING AN ENTIRE SEASIDE VILLAGE OF RATS.

THESE ROOKIES ARE GONNA SOLVE THE PARK'S BIG PRAIRIE DOG PROBLEM.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THESE TWO ROOKIES.

THIS, UH, LETTER CAME WITH THEIR RESUMES.

UH... "FURTHERMORE, AS DEVOUT NATURALISTS,

"WE CHOOSE TO EAT ONLY FOOD THAT COMES DIRECTLY FROM THE EARTH,

FROM MOTHER NATURE."

WELL...

YOU ALL KNOW OUR OLDEST RULE: DON'T TEMPT THE BEARS.

WELL, HERE'S A NEW ONE. DON'T TEMPT THE ROOKIES.

BUT SINCE YOU JUST GOT HERE...

AND YOU HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO FORAGE,

OUR KITCHEN HAS WHIPPED UP SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU.

SAVE ROOM FOR DESSERT.

IS HE ALL RIGHT ? UH, HE'S... HE'S FINE.

JUST A TOUCH OF THE EBOLA.

YEAH, WELL, MAYBE HE SHOULD LIE DOWN.

SOMEBODY, UH, SHOW THESE BOYS WHERE THEY'RE STAYING.

THIS IS FOR THE LOCAL PAPER, ROOKIES.

SEE ? THIS ISN'T SO BAD.

YEAH. GOOD THING WE DITCHED MAJOR FLOWER...

OR WE'D BE STUCK LIVING OUTSIDE, SHIVERING AND EATING BUGS.

OKAY, BUT THEN WE WOULDN'T HAVE THESE COOL UNIFORMS...

OR THESE BOSS WALKIE-TALKIES.

PHIL TO STEW. OVER.

STEW HERE. OVER.

THIS BITES. OVER. DANG IT, STEW !

LET'S JUST TELL THEM WE WANT A STINKIN' CABIN ! WE CAN'T.

IT'LL BLOW OUR COVER. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE TOTAL OUTDOORS WOMEN.

BUT, BRO, I CAN'T FORAGE FOR FOOD. I CAN BARELY HANDLE A SALAD BAR.

OH, CHILL, PHIL. IT'S NOT SO BAD. WE GOT A--

A FIRE, A TENT, BATHROOMS AND SHOWERS CLOSE BY.

IT COULD BE WORSE. WAY WORSE.

HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY BE ANY WORSE, YOU KOOK ?

UH-- IT COULD BE RAINING. YEAH.

NOTHING'S WORSE THAN BEING OUTSIDE IN THE RAIN.

**

**

0600, ROOKIES.

MOVE IT, MOVE IT, MOVE IT !

COME ON, DEEDLES ! YOU'RE LAGGING !

BUT, SIR, IT'S SO EARLY.

NEED FRAPUCCINO. MASSIVE CAFFEINE-O.

I DON'T EVEN HAVE MORNING BREATH YET.

KEEP HIKING, ROOKIES. WE GOT JUST THE THING TO WAKE YOU UP.

WHOA, DUDE ! INSANE ! INSANE !

OKAY, PEOPLE. LET'S PRACTICE SOME RESCUES.

WHOO ! WHOA-HA-HA !

CLIMBER, TAKE MY HAND.

CLIMBER, GRAB MY WRIST.

CLIMBER ! PULL MY FINGER !

COME ON, PEOPLE. HUSTLE, HUSTLE.

HEY, CAPTAIN. HOW THEY HANGIN' ?

DEEDLES.

AH. QUITE A VISTA, EH, BRO ?

FULLY GETS THE PULSE RACING.

IT CERTAINLY DO, DUDE.

MAN, SHE'S ONE FIRING HOTTIE !

WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE TO BE THE DEEDLE IN HER HAYSTACK.

HI, PHIL.

HEY, DADDY.

DADDY ?

WHAT IN HADES--

PINE, MAN ! "FIRING HOTTIE'S" A GOOD THING !

LOOK, ROOKIE, RIGHT NOW I DON'T GIVE A RABID RAT'S HEINIE IF YOU ARE A RODENT EXPERT.

MY STEPDAUGHTER'S OFF LIMITS TO ALL PARK PERSONNEL !

PERIOD ! GOT IT ?

ALL RIGHT. CHECK YOUR ASSIGNMENT AND BOTH OF YOU GET YOUR BUTTS TO WORK.

FLAMED ?

FULLY.

BUT HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE'S HER STEPDAD ?

JUST TRY AND CHILL, HORNDOG, BEFORE YOUR QUEST FOR BOOTY GETS US BOOTED.

BRO, I TOLD YOU, I'M NOT AFTER BOOTY.

BUT EVEN SO, GETTING BOOTED SURE BEATS CROAKING FROM STARVATION.

BRO, I JUST CAN'T HANDLE THIS ALL-NATURAL LIFE STUFF.

I GOTTA GET SOME REAL FOOD.

"DEEDLES: WEST GATE."

GOOD DEAL. LET'S GO SCORE US SOME GRUB.

HI. WELCOME TO JELLYSTONE.

I MEAN, YELLOWSTONE. ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH JELLYSTONE'S--

I MEAN, YELLOWSTONE'S PARK RULES AND REGULATIONS ?

NO OPEN FIRES, NO FIREWORKS, NO FIREARMS,

NO HOSTESS PRODUCTS.

NO HOSTESS PRODUCTS ?

THAT MEAN NO TWINKIE ?

YOU SEE A CAKE. I SEE A FOREST FIRE.

SORRY, FOLKS, BUT IN YELLOWSTONE,

THERE'S NEVER ROOM FOR JELL-O.

HAVE A GREAT DAY.

PHIL. YEAH, STEW ?

I FEEL LIKE A SUPERMODEL !

HEY, BRO, WHAT GOOD IS KNOWING HOW TO EAT ALL

I MEAN, HOW'S THAT EVER GONNA COME IN HANDY ?

DEEDLES ? PINE.

IN MY OFFICE, PRONTO !

WELL, YOU BETTER, PINE.

I CERTAINLY HOPE THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THE MAGNITUDE OF THIS WEEKEND'S BIG EVENT.

WHOA-HO. YES, SIR. THE BILLIONTH IS, UH, DEFINITELY A BIGGIE.

WELL, THEN WHAT ABOUT THE PRAIRIE DOGS ?

ACTUALLY, UH, SIR, MY EXPERTS JUST WALKED IN.

- SO IF YOU'D LIKE TO HOLD-- ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND ?

FINE, SIR. CALL ME BACK.

THAT WAS THE SUPERINTENDENT, MY BOSS.

AND HE LIKE EVERYONE--

IS VERY NERVOUS ABOUT THE PRAIRIE DOGS...

RUINING THIS SATURDAY'S BIG CELEBRATION.

SO, HOW'S IT COMING ?

THE CELEBRATION ?

THE PRAIRIE DOG SITUATION, DEEDLE ! GOD !

SIR, WE JUST STARTED YESTERDAY. WE HAVEN'T EVEN SCOPED IT OUT YET.

TERRIFIC. THE BOSS IS GONNA CALL BACK ANY MINUTE.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA TELL HIM ?

I-- UH-- OH-- EXACTLY !

BECAUSE I'M NOT THE PRAIRIE DOG EXPERTS. YOU ARE !

YOU WANT US TO TALK TO HIM ?

BUT WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY.

THEN I SUGGEST YOU FIND THE WORDS TO CONVINCE HIM...

THAT EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL.

YOU MEAN, YOU WANT US TO LIE ?

WELL, NOT LIE.

I JUST WANT YOU TO-- UM-- UH--

MAKE SOMETHING UP ! YOU CAN DO THAT, CAN'T YOU, DEEDLE ? GO AHEAD. GIVE IT A SHOT.

OH, LOOK ! DUMBO !

DUMBO'S OUTSIDE !

THERE. YOU SEE ? NOTHING TO IT.

NOW, I WANT YOU TO GO OUTSIDE, REHEARSE YOUR SPEECH.

WHEN YOU HEAR THE PHONE RING, I WANT YOU TO COME BACK INSIDE...

AND TELL THE SUPERINTENDENT EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS TO HEAR.

GO !

AND ROOKIES ? YES, SIR ? YEAH ?

WERE YOU BORN IN A BARN ?

UNDERWATER, ACTUALLY.

YEAH, AT THIS FUNKY BIRTHING CLINIC.

JUST SHUT THE DOOR.

OH. SORRY.

[ Loud Rumbling, Glass Shattering ]

- WHOA !

YES ! PRAIRIE DOGS: ONE, PINE: ZERO !

YES ! YES ! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE HUMILIATED, PINE

CAPTAIN'S CRUNCHED !

DEEDLES !

OW !

FORE !

DO YOU MIND ?

MR. NEMO ! MR. CRABBE ! GET DOWN HERE NOW !

GOIN' DOWN !

AH, THERE YOU ARE.

MR. NEMO. SEAL UP THE HOLE IN PINE'S CABIN.

AND, UH, YOU KNOW, GET THE COLONY DIGGING BACK ON COURSE AGAIN.

YES, SIR.

MR. CRABBE ? DID YOU REMEMBER ?

TO GET A NEWSPAPER.

OH-- UH--

"PRAIRIE DOG EXPERTS HIRED." WHAT ?

"PARK TO BE RODENT-FREE BY BIRTHDAY BASH" ?

PINE HAS HIRED TWO IDIOTS TO MESS WITH MY PRAIRIE DOGS.

MR. CRABBE, GET OVER TO YELLOWSTONE AND WATCH FOR THOSE "EXPERTS."

AND ABOVE ALL, KEEP THEM AWAY FROM MY TUNNEL !

OH.

- HEY, PHIL. - OH, HEY, JESSE.

I MEAN, LIEUTENANT.

WHAT'S THAT ALL OVER YOUR CHIN ?

YOU KNOW, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO--

IS THAT POLLEN ? PROBLEM ADMITTING THAT IT'S POLLEN.

FINE GUESS, LIEUTENANT. I HEAR IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD FOR YOU. HOW'S IT TASTE ?

YOU KNOW, TASTES LIKE CHICKEN... POLLEN.

HEY, LIEUTENANT ?

COULD YOU USE SOME HELP ?

UMM, SURE, YOU COULD HELP ME DRY. HANG ON. I'LL GO GET SOME TOWELS.

**

HEY, LIEUTENANT !

WHY TOWEL DRY WHEN YOU CAN JUST HIT A BUTTON AND BLOW DRY ?

WHAT'S GOING ON ?

OH, NO, PHIL. DON'T !

WHOA ! DOWN, BOY !

**

ONE SEARCH AND RESCUE CHOPPER.

OH, THAT'D BE ME. THANKS.

HEY, PHIL, I WAS THINKING.

WOULD YOU EVER CONSIDER SHOWING ME HOW TO EAT LIKE YOU DO ?

I JUST THINK IT WOULD BE GREAT SURVIVALIST TRAINING.

YOU MEAN, YOU WANT ME TO TEACH YOU ?

WELL, NOTHING FORMAL OR ANYTHING. I MEAN, MAYBE WE COULD JUST...

TAKE A HIKE IN THE WOODS TOGETHER SOMETIME AND, YOU KNOW, EAT AS WE GO.

HOW'S LUNCH ? FRIDAY ?

MY FRIDAY LUNCH IS WIDE OPEN.

GREAT. THEN IT'S A DATE.

HEY, RYAN ! PHONE CALL.

BE RIGHT THERE.

OKAY. I'LL SEE YOU THEN, PHIL.

OH, MAN. HOW COULD I DO THAT AFTER PINE WARNED ME ?

WHAT WAS I THINK--

AH, COOL. FLOATING CARTOON HEARTS.

HEY, HEY, BRO. I FOUND IT.

HACKED INTO AN OLD C.I.A. DATABASE AND THERE IT WAS.

THERE WHAT WAS ?

THIS DECLASSIFIED DOCUMENT DETAILING A GAS...

THE C.I.A. WAS GONNA USE IN CUBA IN THE EARLY '60s.

WE'LL WHIP SOME UP AND USE IT ON THE PRAIRIE DOGS.

"OPERATION GASTRO

SEE ANYTHING ?

NOPE.

- SHAZAM ! P-DOG AT TWELVE O'CLOCK.

COOL. SHAZAM ?

AAH !

OOH.

IT'S THOSE ROOKIES.

YES, SIR ?

-THEY'RE BY TUNNEL SECTOR DELTA. FIND OUT WHAT THEY'RE ABOUT. -YES, SIR !

[ Heavy Breathing, Imitating Animal Grunts ]

OKAY, ALL THE CHEMICALS NEEDED TO MAKE THE GAS CAN BE FOUND IN THESE SIMPLE HOUSEHOLD PRODUCTS.

PRETTY COOL, HUH ?

- YEAH, CHEMICALS RULE. - ADD A DASH OF CaOC12.

SPRITZ WITH PHENYLPHENOL.

BRO, D-DON'T FEED HIM ! IF YOU DO, HE'S JUST GONNA COME BACK, LOOKIN' FOR MORE.

WHAT ? PETEY SHOULD GET PAID TO WORK.

- YEAH. PETEY THE P-DOG.

WE'RE BUDS NOW, MAN, SO THIS PLAN OF YOURS BETTER NOT HARM HIM NOR ANY OF THE OTHER P-DOGS.

RELAX. IT'S JUST GONNA MAKE THEM LEAVE AND NOT WANNA COME BACK.

P-DOGS, AS YOU'VE DUBBED THEM, ARE A TIDY SPECIES...

AND ARE VERY PARTICULAR ABOUT HOW THEY KEEP THEIR TUNNELS.

WHOA ! GAS MASK, COMPADRE.

SO, DID THE C.I.A. EVER TEST THIS OUT ?

NO, "GASTRO-CASTRO" NEVER GOT THE FINAL OKAY.

TOO BAD, THOUGH. IT WAS A FAIRLY INGENIOUS PLAN.

THE IDEA WAS TO TOPPLE CASTRO BY REPEATEDLY HUMILIATING HIM IN PUBLIC.

OH, SO YOU THINK IT WOULD'VE WORKED ?

SURE. YOU TRY LEADING A NATION WHILE YOU'RE LOADING YOUR FATIGUES.

OH, NO ! PETEY !

[ Panting, Farting Noises ]

WELCOME, EVERYONE, TO OLD FAITHFUL'S...

ONE BILLIONTH BIRTHDAP.

"BIRTHDAP" ?

OKAY. I COULD JUST DELETE IT IF I ONLY HAD MY COMPUTER...

OR MY OFFICE OR NO DEEDLES.

[ Prairie Dog Squeaking, Farting ]

OHH ! EWW !

THAT'S BEAUTIFUL ! LOOK AT PINE'S TEMPLES THROB.

OH, I ONLY WISH THAT MY CAMERA HAD SOUND, SO I COULD FULLY ENJOY THIS MAGIC MOMENT !

W-WELL, ACTUALLY, SIR, I READ LIPS.

REALLY ? ARE YOU ANY GOOD AT IT ? TRAINED ON CHICKENS.

OH, EXCELLENT ! LET'S HEAR IT !

"I'M FARTIN'...

"TO WONDERBRA IF YOU BEATLES...

AREN'T COMPLETE MORMONS."

YEAH.

"TELL ME--"

DO YOU HAVE A SINGLE BRAIN IN YOUR HEADS OR DO YOU JUST HAVE--

"SHEETS FOR DRAINS ?

AND YOU CALL YOUR ELVES HAIRY LOG EXPORTS."

AH.

OR YOU DAMN SURE WON'T GET ANY BADGES !

SIR, YOU HAVE OUR WORD AS RODENT EXPERTS...

BY THE TIME THE BIGWIGS SHOW FOR THE B-DAY BASH, THERE WON'T BE A P-DOG IN THE ENTIRE--

"PORK."

OH, I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.

I NEED TO GET THESE EXPERTS GONE AND FAST !

MR. NEMO, FIND MR. CRABBE.

AND TAKE CARE OF THEM. MAKE SURE THAT, UH...

THEY HAVE A LITTLE ACCIDENT.

* GO ON AND TREAT ME LIKE A JERK *

* THAT ANY CHUMP COULD PLAY

WHAT'S UP WITH THAT BEAR, YOGI ?

I MEAN, DOES ANYBODY ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT THERE'S A BEAR HERE IN JELLYSTONE...

WALKING UPRIGHT, WEARING A HAT AND BOOSTING PEOPLE'S PICNIC BASKETS ?

RELAX, BRO. LEGEND HAS IT HE'S JUST A CARTOON.

NOT EVEN. EVEN.

NOW, CORK IT. I'M WORKIN' HERE.

YOU KNOW, I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE...

YOU PROMISED PINE THAT WE'D HAVE EVERY P-DOG GONE BY GRADUATION.

- I MEAN, WHAT WERE YOU THINKIN', MAN ? - SAME THING I'M THINKIN' NOW.

THAT IT'LL BE A WALK IN THE PARK ONCE WE FIND OUT WHERE ALL THE TUNNELS ARE.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA ! SLOW DOWN.

AH, WHO WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS ?

ROAD BEAVERS. * I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE **

**

UHH !

DON'T YOU FIND IT ODD ?

I MEAN, BOO-BOO'S NOT YOGI'S SON.

HE'S NOT EVEN HIS BROTHER.

YET THEY'RE SHACKING UP IN JELLYSTONE, WALKING AROUND WITH NECKTIES, BUT NO PANTS.

PHIL, I NEED YOU TO DROP THIS NOW !

NO BRAKES, BUD. OLD JOKE, BUD.

NO JOKE, BUD !

HOLD ON ! WHOA ! WATCH IT, WATCH IT !

OH ! MOVE OVER, BRO !

YEAH !

WHO ARE THOSE GUYS ?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT THEY'RE GOOD.

AAH.

HEY, PHIL. CHECK THIS OUT. EWW.

"MAP REQUEST ACCEPTED. LANDSAT ORBITAL ETA: 18 HOURS."

EIGHTEEN HOURS FOR WHAT ?

FOR US TO GET THE PARK READY TO HAVE ITS PICTURE TAKEN AGAIN, FROM OUTER SPACE.

THE FINAL FRONTIER.

OH-OH. TOO CLOSE. HEY !

HUH. NO WAY. PETEY !

STEW, MAN, PETEY'S HERE.

I TOLD YOU IF YOU FED HIM-- HE'D COME BACK.

AND HE DID ! HE CAME BACK.

YOU ARE FULLY THE LASSIE OF P-DOGS.

KEEP HIM AROUND.

WE CAN USE HIM.

THIRTY TUBES OF MENTHOLATUM DEEP HEATING RUB, PLEASE.

* AH, LIKE A VISION WHEN YOU MADE YOUR DECISION *

* AND YOU WONDER WHY YOUR LIFE HAS TURNED OUT THIS WAY *

* YOU TRIED TO USE ME AND YOU SEE THAT YOU CONFUSE ME *

* BUT NOW YOU'RE FEELING SORRY 'CAUSE YOU GOT PLAYED *

[ Grunting, Speaking German ]

* ALL YOUR TALK HAS BECOME BULL JUST WHAT DO YOU SEE *

* DON'T PLACE THE BLAME ON ME **

"MIZZING LOWEN" ? HUH. I WONDER WHERE THE BIG CAT'S AT.

HEY !

IT'S MY CONE, MO ! BACK OFF !

BUT YOU GOT THE LAST DROP OF DEW !

MEAT IS MURDER ! DON'T HURT US, MR. LION !

NO, PLEASE ! SURRENDER, CARNIVORE !

DUDE, HOW'D IT GO, BRO ? DID YOU SCORE ?

WAIT TILL WE'RE BACK IN CAMP !

I CAN'T, BRO. I NEED IT BAD.

HURRY UP. I'LL BE IN THE JEEP. * IT WOULD HAPPEN THIS TIME

* I'M SURE THAT IT'S THE LAST TIME *

* I'M OVER GOIN' OVER IT *

* IT'S OVER ONCE AGAIN

* WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH ME

HOWDY THERE, RANGER. * I BLEW THE OPPORTUNITY

* BY SAYIN' SOMETHING ASININE

* I'VE GOTTA LOSE THIS MOUTH OF MINE *

LIEUTENANT. ALOHA. * I SURE SAID THE WRONG THING

SO, WE'RE STILL ON FOR LUNCH TOMORROW, RIGHT ? UH, YUP.

TRAIL MIX ALFRESCO, LIEUTENANT.

RIGHT ON. I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

AND PHIL, YOU CAN CALL ME JESSE.

COOL. THANKS, LIEUTENANT JESSE.

* I SURE SAID THE WRONG THING *

* RIGHT THEN I SAID THE WRONG THING I SURE SAID THE WRONG THING **

OH, MAN ! GOTTA FIND US A LUNCH !

YOU HAVE TO THINK, PHIL. USE THE BRAIN. MAKE A PLAN, SEEK A SOLUTION.

ONE'S JUST NOT GONNA COME TO YOU.

HEY, WATCH IT, PAL !

AH, SCORCHIN', BRO ! THIS STUFF'S HOT !

THAT'S THE IDEA. I'VE GOT TO ELEVATE THE TEMPERATURE OF THE P-DOGS,

SO THE SATELLITE'S HEAT SENSORS CAN DISTINGUISH THEM...

FROM OTHER MAMMALS WHEN IT MAKES THE THERMAL MAP.

YOU'RE COMPLETELY WINGIN' THIS, HUH ? NOT AT ALL.

IT'S SIMPLE SCIENCE. LIKE A POTATO CLOCK OR COLD FUSION.

WELL, I HOPE IT WORKS.

MY PAL, PETEY THE P-DOG, LOOKS MOST UNSTOKED.

NO BIGGIE, BRO. HE WON'T GET ANY DEEP HEATING RUB ON HIM...

UNLESS HE BACKTRACKS.

OKAY, P-DOGS. THE HEAT IS ON.

SO, WEEBLES. WHAT IS THIS CALLED ?

FIRE ! INDEED.

AND WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU'RE A CARELESS CAMPER...

AND YOU GET TOO CLOSE ?

LIKE YOU, RANGER PHIL ! DROP AND ROLL !

DROP AND ROLL !

DROP AND ROLL ! OH, HOT, HOT, HOT !

[ Screaming, Panting ]

WHOA ! THAT WAS COOL, RANGER PHIL.

GOOD, KIDS. YOU PASSED THE TEST. HE'S ALL RIGHT.

AND NOW, FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE,

GIVE IT UP FOR RAPMASTER SPARKY ! WHOO ! **

OH, NO.

* HEY, LISTEN, FIRE IS BAD BAD, BAD, BAD *

NOW, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ?

DANCE, MAN. IT SAYS TO BUST A MOVE !

* WHEN THINGS BURN I'M SAD, SAD, SAD **

THIS STINKS ! WE WANT FIRE.

OH, WHY DOESN'T SOMEONE JUST SHOOT ME ?

THIS WON'T LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT.

SURE, IT WILL. HUNTIN' ACCIDENT.

YO, YO, YO ! I GOT THE MOVES. JUST CALL ME JAMES BROWN.

THING ! HAH !

LET'S DO IT.

NOT NOW. IN FRONT OF THE KIDS ?

ARE YOU KIDDIN' ? LOOK AT 'EM !

THEY'D DO IT THEMSELVES IF THEY COULD.

THIS SUCKS !

OHH !

- OH, MAN ! I'LL NEVER HAVE CUBS !

CRAWL IT OFF, BRO !

ARE YOU READY NOW ?

OWW ! OOF !

WHY AREN'T YOU DIGGING ?

MENTHOLATUM DEEP HEATING RUB ?

IT'S THOSE ROOKIES.

OW ! UGH !

WHERE THE HELL ARE NEMO AND CRABBE ?

THANKS FOR TAKING ME, PHIL. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY THIS.

NO PROBLEM, LIEUTENANT. I JUST HOPE YOU LIKE THE MENU.

HEY, PHIL ! I SEE A GRUB. CAN I EAT IT ?

NO, DON'T EAT THAT ! WHY NOT ? GRUBS AREN'T POISONOUS.

I SEE BIRDS EAT THEM ALL THE TIME.

OH, I KNOW.

BUT IT'S GOT THIS FUNKY KIND OF ORANGE-JUICE-MEETS-TOOTHPASTE TASTE MOST PEOPLE DON'T DIG.

IT'S BETTER TO START OFF WITH THESE. EARTHWORMS.

THEY'RE NUTRITIOUS. A TAD GUMMY, BUT SURPRISINGLY SWEET.

MMM. EARTHWORMY GOODNESS.

OPEN UP. I GOT A LIVE ONE FOR YOU.

OH.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK ? TASTES LIKE CANDY.

"CANDY OF THE GODS," I CALL IT.

MMM, IT REALLY TASTES LIKE CANDY.

YOU PLANTED CANDY OUT HERE, DIDN'T YOU ?

OH. YOU DIDN'T THINK I COULD HANDLE IT, SO Y-YOU SET ALL THIS UP !

THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS ! WHY, I'D NEVER--

I'LL SHOW YOU, ROOKIE !

NO, PHIL, DON'T.

WHAT ? BUG BREATH ?

NO.

IT'S JUST...

I BARELY KNOW YOU. I KNOW, LIEUTENANT,

BUT I TOTALLY CRAVE YOUR WAVE.

I MEAN...

YOU'RE ALL I THINK ABOUT, DAY AND NIGHT.

AND VERSE-VISA.

AND WHEN I'M WITH YOU,

I FIND MYSELF STARING, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW I SHOULDN'T.

LIKE, YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING AND THERE'S SOMETHING FLAT IN THE ROAD AHEAD ?

AND YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T LOOK AT IT, BUT YOU JUST CAN'T HELP IT ?

PHIL, ARE YOU CALLING ME ROADKILL ? YEAH, EXACTLY !

I MEAN, NO.

WELL, OKAY, BUT ROADKILL IN A GOOD WAY.

AW, MAN. COULD I JUST START OVER ?

NO, YOU CAN'T.

BECAUSE THAT IS THE...

ODDEST, SWEETEST THING ANYBODY HAS EVER SAID TO ME.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ?

I THINK YOUR WAVE IS PRETTY CRAVABLE TOO.

YOU DO ?

COOL.

ORE-IDA. WE'S IN BIDNESS !

YEAH. UH-OH. COMPANY.

UH, CAPTAIN PINE, SIR. WHAT A SURPRISE.

AND GREAT TIMING, TOO, SINCE I JUST GOT ALL THE INFO NEEDED...

TO NAIL THE PRAIRIE-DOG DILEMMA.

SAVE IT, DEEDLE...

IF THAT'S YOUR REAL NAME.

MEL AND MO, I PRESUME ?

WHERE'S YOUR EVIL TWIN, DOODLE ?

JESSE, THIS IS AWESOME.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE VIEW OF THE PARK.

MY STEPDAD SHOWED ME THIS SPOT.

YOUR STEPDAD.

HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS DATE OF OURS, DOES HE ?

'CAUSE HE-- HE KIND OF TOLD ME TO STAY AWAY FROM YOU.

HE DID ? YEAH.

OH, THAT IS SO MY DAD.

HE'S GOT THIS SLIGHT PROBLEM WHEN IT COMES TO ME AND GUYS.

HE CAN'T STAND TO SEE HIS PRECIOUS LITTLE TOMBOY ALL GROWN UP.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, THOUGH.

SO IT'S-- IT'S COOL THEN IF HE SEES US TOGETHER ?

IT'S FINE. REALLY.

HE'S A LITTLE OVERPROTECTIVE, BUT IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S SOME COMPLETE PSYCHO.

GET AWAY FROM THE GIRL !

I REPEAT-- GET AWAY FROM THE GIRL !

WELL, SOMETHING WENT HORRIBLY AWRY. TRY MEL AND MO SHOWING.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE GILLIGAN GAMBIT, MAN ? I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA CLAIM AMNESIA.

I KNOW. I... FORGOT.

OH, BRO, WE'RE, LIKE, BEYOND BUSTED.

CAPTAIN PINE, JESSE.

IT'S LIEUTENANT RYAN.

LOOK, WE'RE SORRY WE LET YOU DOWN.

M-MAYBE IF YOU'D LET US EXPLAIN.

TELL IT TO THE JUDGE, DEEDLE. YOU'RE GOING DIRECTLY TO JAIL.

AS IN DO NOT PASS "GO," DO NOT COLLECT TWO SHINY RANGER BADGES.

BUT WE DIDN'T MEAN ANY HARM.

WE'RE JUST A COUPLE OF PRODIGAL SONS TRYING TO WIN THE LOVE AND RESPECT OF THEIR DAD.

Y-YOU KNOW, LIKE JACK AND BOBBY KENNEDY.

YEAH, SPEED RACER AND SPRIDLE. FRANK AND JOE HARDY.

FUNNY, I DON'T RECALL THE HARDY BOYS COMPLETELY TRASHING A CAMPSITE.

OR STEALING LADIES' CLOTHES.

STEALING LADIES' PANTIES ?

YOU STOLE LADIES' PANTIES ?

WELL, YEAH, BUT JUST TO WEAR 'EM.

THAT'S DISGUSTING. COME ON. LOAD 'EM UP.

BLADE IT UP, ALAN.

- OF COURSE I AM.

YOU LIED TO ME AND WASTED VALUABLE TIME WHILE THE PRAIRIE DOGS GOT WORSE BY THE DAY.

BUT SIR, I TOLD YOU, WE'RE ON IT. AH, CUT THE BULL.

I CHECKED YOU TWO OUT.

YOU'RE SURFERS, LOSERS, A COUPLE OF BUMS.

AND DEEDLE, WE DON'T NEED SURFERS IN YELLOWSTONE.

CAPTAIN, MAYBE WE ARE A COUPLE OF BUMS,

BUT IN OUR WHOLE LIVES WE NEVER WANTED ANYTHING...

AS MUCH AS WE WANT TO HELP YOU GUYS AND SAVE THE PARK.

YEAH, HONEST, CAPTAIN, WE TOTALLY DIG THIS PLACE AND WE DIG THE TWO OF YOU TOO.

AND IF YOU SEND US BACK, THEN WE REALLY WILL BE JUST A COUPLE OF LOSER SURFER BUMS.

WELL, THAT'S REAL TOUCHING, BOYS,

BUT YOU LIED AND YOU HURT JESSE,

AND YOU BOTH HURT THE PARK !

FRANKLY, I'M JUST TIRED OF LOOKING AT YOUR PHONY FACES !

SO THAT MEANS EITHER YOU LEAVE OR I LEAVE.

WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN', DEEDLES.

I'M NOT GOIN' ANYWHERE !

- WHOA ! - DAD !

DEEDLE !

- DAD ! - MAN OVERBOARD !

DOWN ! TAKE HER DOWN !

DAD ! JESSE !

DAD ! THROW IT HERE !

BRO, WE GOTTA DO SOMETHIN'.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING ?

SURF AND RESCUE ! WHAT ?

GET IN. I'M DRIVIN.

WHA !

WHAA !

WHA-AAH !

HANG ON ! CAPTAIN AHOY !

GO BACK ! GO BACK ! GET OUT OF HERE !

- PHIL ! - GRAB ON TO MY BOARD, PINE MAN !

YOU ROOKIES GO BACK !

GUESS AGAIN. WE'RE SAVIN' YOUR BUTT. THE FALL !

OH, MAN !

JESSE, GET DOWN HERE. - PHIL, STEW, GRAB THE SKIDS !

DUDE, DON'T LET HIM GO, MAN !

- COME ON. GET DOWN HERE ! OH, MAN, COME ON ! WE'RE RUNNIN' OUT OF ROOM !

I CAN'T REACH IT !

OHH ! OH, YEAH ! YEAH, YEAH !

WHAA !

GUYS, I-I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

IS THERE ANYTHING WE COULD DO TO THANK YOU ?

UM--

WELL, STEW AND I COULD USE A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT. WHAT ?

YOU CAN'T GET A RANGER BADGE AT THE AIRPORT, ROOKIE.

ONLY PLACE TO GET ONE IS RIGHT HERE, IN THE PARK,

TOMORROW AT 9:00 A.M., AT YOUR GRADUATION.

YES ! STINKIN' BADGES !

- OH, AND HEY, TONIGHT WE PARTY. YEAH !

LUAU AT CAMP DEEDLE.

YOU GUYS EVER LUAU ? WHAT ?

NO. UH, SOMETIMES WE GET A BAND AND WE DO A BARBECUE.

- YOU KNOW, A HOEDOWN. A HOEDOWN ?

WELL, THIS'LL BE JUST LIKE THAT, ONLY IT'LL BE MORE OF A-- A DON HO-DOWN.

**

WHOA, THE NATIVES ARE RESTLESS. YEAH, FULLY.

WE RAN OUT OF HULA MIX, AND THEY ALL WANT MORE.

TELL 'EM TO DRINK THE TIKI TORCHES. IT'S THE SAME STUFF.

ANY SIGN OF JESSE YET ?

NO, NOT YET.

NO WORRIES, BRO. SHE'LL BE HERE.

I'M GONNA GO GET THE CAKE.

**

YEAH-HEH ! YOU GUYS RULE !

- COOL. A BEAR.

A BEAR ! AAAH ! WHOA !

ALOHA.

JESSE, YOU ARE ONE SCENIC TURN-ON.

WELL, YOU'RE NO LANDFILL YOURSELF, DEEDLE.

SO, UH, YOU WANNA CUT ONE ?

A OH. GOD, I'D LOVE TO.

THIS'LL TEACH ME TO WEAR GIRLIE SHOES. MY DOGS ARE ACHIN'.

YOU SHOULD, UH, SOAK 'EM IN A HOT BATH.

I KNOW A BETTER PLACE.

COME ON.

* BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH *

WHOO-HOO !

YO ! PEEP THIS !

MY MAN STEW'S GONNA RAP US SOME SPARKY !

OKAY, ROOKIE, DO YOUR LITTLE DANCE. **

OTTO ?

* WHEN IT BURNS I'M SAD, SAD, SAD **

MY GOD !

IT'S PERFECT.

**

"P-DOG PLAN." YEAH. YEAH.

- OTTO.

WHERE'S THE BEAR ? WHERE'S THE BEAR ?

WHERE'S THE BEAR ? OTTO, COME HERE.

COME HERE.

OTTO.

OTTO.

OTTO !

OTTO, COME HERE. COME HERE !

NEIN. DON'T TAKE THE JEEP. YOU WILL KILL YOURSELF !

OTTO ! OTTO, STOP THE JEEP !

OTTO, YOU STOP ! RETURN THE JEEP ! STOP !

THE KID PUTS ON A HECK OF A SHOW.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS PLACE ?

IT IS FULLY NATURE'S JACUZZI.

SO HOW LONG DO THE BUBBLES STAY ON ?

HOPEFULLY FOR A FEW THOUSAND YEARS.

WOW. OUR TOES'LL BE WAY PRUNEY BY THEN.

JESSE.

I JUST HAVE TO SAY THAT...

YOU ARE UNDENIABLY THE COOLEST CHICK--

I MEAN, THE FINEST WOMAN THAT I'VE EVER MET.

AND RIGHT NOW MY HEART IS STOKED LIKE A GREMMIE RIPPIN' A MONSTER DREAM SET.

OOH, SHAME ON YOU, SPOUTING CLICHES.

ARE YOU SURE THIS IS OKAY ?

OKAY ? NO. THIS IS GONNA BE EPIC.

**

**

**

**

WELCOME AND GOOD MORNING, MY FELLOW RANGERS.

THIS MORNING, MY TWO PERSONAL HEROES,

PHILLIP S. AND STEWART P. DEEDLE,

WILL COMMENCE THE ERADICATION...

OF THE RODENT INFESTATION.

AFTER WHICH,

I WILL PROUDLY PRESENT THEM WITH THEIR PARK SERVICE BADGES.

UH, THANK YOU, CAPTAIN PINE MAN, SIR.

THIS IS A THERMAL MAP OF THE PARK CREATED BY A U.S. GEOGRAPHICAL SATELLITE.

GEYSERS, THE HOTTEST, ARE RED. SNOW IS BLUE.

AND WARM-BLOODED ANIMALS ARE GREEN.

BUT TAKE A LOOK AT THESE HOTTER YELLOW DOTS.

THEY'RE PRAIRIE DOGS...

AFTER BEING EXPOSED TO A TEMPERATURE-ELEVATING SUBSTANCE.

SO THE YELLOW LINE YOU SEE HERE IS ACTUALLY ONE BIG PRAIRIE-DOG TUNNEL.

AND AFTER PLACING A SERIOUS OF SMALL,

HARMLESS EXPLOSIVES IN THE--

UH, LOOK, STEW PUT CHERRY BOMBS IN A MESS OF HOLES TO SEAL OFF THE TUNNEL THING.

OHH. SO NOW IT'S: "SEE YA, P-DOG" TIME.

"WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YA," P-DOG TIME. WHOO !

AND NOW, BY VIRTUE OF STATE-OF-THE-ART SATELLITE TECHNOLOGY...

AND MENTHOLATUM DEEP HEATING EXTRA STRENGTH PAIN RELIEVING RUB,

PHIL AND STEW DEEDLE WILL, ON THE COUNT OF THREE,

END THE PARK'S PESKY PRAIRIE-DOG DILEMMA.

ONE...

TWO...

THREE. THREE.

NOW.

OH. WHOA.

WICKED CHERRY BOMBS, STEW.

THEY KILLED HER ! THOSE PHONY SURFER LOSERS KILLED OLD FAITHFUL !

LYNCH 'EM ! LYNCH THE DEEDLES !

NO MORE BADGES FOR YOU, DEEDLES !

HANG ON, STEW ! OH, NO !

WHOA ! OOF !

AND DON'T COME BACK...

EVER !

OH, MAN !

I MISS JELLYSTONE ALREADY.

WHEN DAD FINDS OUT HOW WE DISGRACED THE FAMILY NAME--

HE'LL PROBABLY CHANGE IT BACK TO DEEDLEFARB. BOY.

HEY, AND WHAT ABOUT PINE ? WE FULLY RUINED HIS LIFE.

AND JESSE'S. MAN, WHAT TO DO, STEW ?

THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO: COME UP WITH THE PERSON WHO DID THIS.

OH, I GOT YA. FRAME SOMEONE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THEY DID IT.

PHIL, FOR THE LAST TIME, I DID NOT KILL OLD FAITHFUL.

WE WERE SET UP.

STEW, THAT'S SO "DICULOUS," IT'S "RE-DICULOUS."

WHO ON EARTH WOULD WANT TO FRAME A COUPLE OF ROOKIES ?

NO CLUE. ALL I KNOW IS, A CHERRY BOMB CAN'T KILL A BILLION-YEAR-OLD GEYSER.

PHIL, THESE YELLOW DOTS.

- THE BIG P-DOG TUNNEL. WHAT'S IT HEADED FOR ? - THAT BIG RED DOT.

RIGHT. AND THAT RED DOT, MR. WATSON,

IS A GEYSER DUBBED "OLD FAITHFUL."

AH, NO WAY !

SO WHAT ? SO, WHAT ARE THE ODDS ?

MAYBE IF WE CAN FIND THE SOURCE OF THE P-DOGS,

WE COULD FIND OUT WHO WHACKED OLD FAITHFUL AND GET HER GUSHIN' AGAIN.

SHAKE SOME BOOTY, BRO.

CAR COMING.

BRO, YOU SURE ABOUT THIS ? NO.

BUT WHAT DO WE DO WHENEVER WE'RE IN REALLY BIG TROUBLE ?

SOMETHIN' REALLY STUPID. EXACTLY.

WHOA !

I TOLD YOU THIS TENT WAS GOOD FOR SOMETHIN'. - NO DOUBT.

WHOO-HOO-HOO ! WHOO ! YEAH !

OHH ! YOU SMELL THAT ? SMELLS FAMILIAR.

LOOK AT THIS. DANG DEEDLES !

IF I HADN'T KILLED 'EM, I'D KILL 'EM ! WHOO !

YEAH ! THANKS FOR THE LIFT, MAJOR NAD !

DEEDLES !

AND HEY, FLOWER BUD !

TURN !

WHOO-HOO ! AAAH !

NOT AGAIN ! AAAH !

RATS !

WHOA ! KILLER DISMOUNT !

DEEDLES !

FIREBALL ? SIR, I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'VE BEEN TALKING TO,

BUT, UH, OLD FAITHFUL, AH, SHE'S FINE, SIR.

YEAH. ERUPTING AWAY LIKE ALWAYS. YEAH.

IN FACT, SHE'S ERUPTING RIGHT NOW. YOU READY ?

YES, SIR. ONE BILLION AND STILL GOING STRONG.

YEAH. VERY GOOD, SIR.

WELL, I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU, THE GOVERNOR AND THE SECRETARY OF INTERIOR...

HERE AT NOON FOR THE CELEBRATION.

RIGHT. OKAY.

THAT'S SUPER, MR. SUPER-- BUTTHEAD.

DAD ? AH, HE HUNG UP.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING ?

THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE GONNA PULL THIS OFF.

HONEY, I'M JUST TRYING TO BUY A LITTLE TIME.

I GOT A TEAM OF GEOLOGISTS DRIVING OVER FROM BUTTE NOW-- BUTTE ?

YEAH. DAD, BUTTE IS OVER FOUR HOURS AWAY.

ALL OF THE ROADS ARE CRAMMED WITH PEOPLE GETTING HERE FOR THE CELEBRATION.

THERE IS NO WAY THEY'D GET HERE BY NOON.

I'M LOSIN' IT, AREN'T I ?

OKAY, FELLAS, FORGET IT.

ALL RIGHT, SHUT IT DOWN !

LET'S JUST HOPE FOR A MIRACLE.

I SURE HOPE YOU KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING, DUDE.

RIGHT THERE. DROP ZONE.

OHH ! WHOA ! OHH ! OHH !

THIS IS DEFINITELY THE PLACE.

YEAH. LOOK AT ALL THE P-DOGS.

STEW, MAN, THERE'S NOTHIN' HERE BUT A MEADOW FULL OF GOLF BALLS !

DON'T GO GETTIN' NEG ON ME, BRO. MAYBE THEY SAW P-DOGS.

NOW, IT'S IRONIC, ISN'T IT ?

YESTERDAY THOSE TWO ROOKIES WERE ON THE VERGE OF RUINING EVERYTHING,

AND NOW, THANKS TO THEM, WE ARE A MERE 20 MINUTES AWAY...

FROM OUR INCREDIBLE MOMENT OF TRIUMPH.

TO SUCCESS, AND TO THOSE TWO IDIOT DEEDLES.

WHEREVER THEY MAY BE.

THEY'RE HERE. THEY'RE ABOVE US.

I WANT YOU TO READ THEIR LIPS, AND THIS TIME DO IT LETTER-PERFECT.

"WHAT KIND OF A PINHEAD KILLS A GEYSER ?

AN EVIL PINHEAD WITH NO SELF-ESTEEM AND A MAJORLY BIG BUG UP HIS--"

HEY ! SHUT UP.

MR. CRABBE, MR. NEMO, BRING THEM TO ME.

HELLO !

IT'S ED AND DICK. YOU MAY BE A WINNER.

OR... A LOSER.

OH-HO. WHAT A DUMP.

HEY, SCOOBY STEW. LOOK, A CLUE.

SLATER. WASN'T THAT THE HEAD RANGER THEY BANNED FROM THE PARK ?

HEAD RANGER. MORE LIKE HEAD CASE.

OH-HO-HO ! "DIE PINE" ?

"DIE DEEDLES" ?

ARE YOU THINKIN' WHAT I'M THINKIN' ? YEAH.

WATCH IT ! HEY, HEY, HEY !

STEP RIGHT THIS WAY, DEEDLES, TO MY HUMBLE COMMODE.

HEY, WHERE ARE YOU TAKING US ?

UH-OH.

WHOA !

**

OKAY, LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE JACKSON HOLE HIGH SCHOOL MARCHING BAND !

THANKS, KIDS.

NOW, THEN, BEFORE I INTRODUCE OUR FEATURED SPEAKER, THE PARK'S HEAD RANGER--

OH ! OW ! GET OFF !

RIGHT THIS WAY, DEEDLES !

DEEDLES, NICE OF YOU TO DROP IN.

YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS, SLATER ! WHATEVER IT IS.

- OH, STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT YET ? - ONE THING WE DO KNOW.

YOU WERE PUMPING P-DOGS INTO THE PARK.

INSPIRED, WASN'T IT ?

ALL IT TOOK WAS A LITTLE KIBBLE INJECTED INTO THE DIRT,

AND A-TUNNELING THEY WOULD GO.

BUT THEN, UH, THANKS TO YOU AND MENTHOLATUM DEEP HEATING RUB,

MY FURRY LITTLE FRIENDS,

THEY WEREN'T DIGGING FAST ENOUGH FOR MY PLANS,

SO YOU CAN IMAGINE MY RELIEF WHEN I SAW THIS.

MY PLAN ! WHERE'D YOU GET THAT ?

OH, LAST NIGHT IN YOUR TENT, WHEN YOU WERE SUCKING CAKE THROUGH YOUR NOSE.

YOU HAD CAKE ?

SO, YOUR PLAN FREED ME TO DISPENSE WITH THE SLOTHFUL PRAIRIE DOGS...

AND, UH, INSTEAD USE DYNAMITE...

TO BLAST THE REST OF THE WAY TO MY PIPELINE'S FINAL DESTINATION--

THE GEOTHERMAL VENT OF OLD FAITHFUL.

AFTERNOON, GOVERNOR,

MR. SECRETARY,

MR. SUPERINTENDENT.

AND WELCOME ALL TO YELLOWSTONE...

ON OLD FAITHFUL'S...

ONE-BILLIONTH BIRTHDAP-- UH, DAY-- BIRTHDAY.

YOU FRAMED US ! YOU KILLED OLD FAITHFUL, YOU HEINOUS ANUS !

KILLED HER, NO.

SHE'S VERY MUCH ALIVE AND STILL ERUPTING LIKE CLOCKWORK INTO THIS STEEL TANK.

DEAD WHAT'S THE DIF ?

SHE'S NEVER GONNA SEE THE PARK AGAIN.

NO. NO, SHE WON'T.

BECAUSE AT EXACTLY NOON, WHEN THAT IDIOT PINE IS UP ON HIS PODIUM,

TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO EVERYONE WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS BELOVED GEYSER,

OLD FAITHFUL WILL BE DIVERTED INTO THIS PREEXISTING SHAFT...

FROM AN EXTINCT GEYSER, WHICH IS SMACK DAB ABOVE US...

ON MY PROPERTY.

EXTINCT GEYSER ? YOU MEAN THAT OLD DRY HOLE BY YOUR TRAILER ?

THAT OLD DRY HOLE, DEEDLE,

IS ABOUT TO BECOME THE GREATEST GEYSER EVER.

NEW FAITHFUL OF SLATERSTONE.

TA-DA !

YUP.

SOON TO BE THE MILLENNIUM'S MOST POPULAR TOURIST DESTINATION IN WYOMING...

AND IN THE WORLD.

YOU DID ALL THIS JUST FOR TOURISM ?

NOT FOR TOURISM, DEEDLE.

FOR REVENGE.

ALL I EVER WANTED TO DO WAS TO MAKE YELLOWSTONE MORE POPULAR.

SO, UH, SHE BURNED ME.

SO LET'S SEE HOW SHE LIKES IT...

WHEN THE WORLD DUMPS HER FOR THE NEWER, BIGGER...

NEW FAITHFUL OF SLATERSTONE !

GENTLEMEN, IT'S SHOW TIME.

MR. CRABBE. MR. NEMO.

PUT ON THOSE FIRE SUITS. LET'S MAKE HISTORY.

BUT, UH--

- WAAAH !

GONNA KILL ME A DEEDLE.

[ Yelling, Blubbering ]

DEEDLES.

LET'S BAIL ! OW ! OW ! OW !

COME ON !

DEEDLES !

DEAD END. WHOA !

MASSIVE P-DOG MOSH PIT.

GOTCHA NOW.

DEEDLE.

COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE.

HEY, LOSERS !

CIAO.

GET 'EM OFF ME ! GET 'EM OFF ! OW !

BRO, WE GOTTA SAVE OLD FAITHFUL.

YEAH. FULLY. BUT HOW ?

ONE BILLION YEARS.

MAN, THAT'S OLD. REALLY OLD.

I MEAN, WHAT'S NEXT ?

UNTIL YOU'RE COMING UP TO A TRILLION, WHO THE HECK REALLY CARES ?

EASY, NEW FAITHFUL. EASY, GIRL.

YOU'LL SEE THE SURFACE SOON ENOUGH. OH, MR. NEMO, MR. CRABBE.

HELP ME OPEN THESE SAFETY VALVES. WE NEED TO TAKE SOME PRESSURE OFF THE TANK.

FOOLS, I SAID OPEN THEM, NOT CLOSE THEM.

THAT BLASTED TANK IS BARELY HOLDING AS IT IS.

OPEN THEM OR YOU'RE GONNA DESTROY EVERYTHING ! AH-HA-HA-HA !

GIVE IT UP, SLATER BUD !

DEEDLES !

KILLER DISMOUNT.

HEY, STEW !

NO ONE WILL STOP MY SLATERSTONE, DEEDLES !

NO ONE !

WHOA, PETEY ! STEW, MAN, YOU MISSED IT. PETEY WHACKED SLATER.

PETEY, JUMP !

WHOA, WE BETTER BAIL, BRO. IT'S GONNA BLOW.

PETEY'LL SHOW US THE WAY OUT. LIKE YOU SAID, HE IS THE LASSIE OF P-DOGS.

[ Rumbling, Explosions ]

MAN, THIS GUY SLATER'S A LOAD.

FULLY. HE NEEDS TO LAY OFF THE P-DOG CHOW.

OH, MAN, THIS CAVE'S GONNA CAVE ! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

LASSIE, MY BUTT. THIS IS THE SHAFT TO OLD FAITHFUL.

EXACTLY. I'M SORRY. THERE IS NO WAY WE'RE GOING IN THERE.

- THIS IS SUICIDAL, FULLY KEVORKIAN.

WITH THESE FIRE SUITS ON, WE SHOULD BE PERFECTLY FINE. TWO WORDS, STEW.

HEY, IT'S EITHER THIS OR BACK UP THAT TOILET.

AFTER YOU, BRO. COME ON. IN YOU GO, PETEY.

COME ON ! GET UP HERE.

DEEDLES ! YOU FOOLS ! NOT THE SHAFT ! NO !

OH, YOU'LL GET THE SHAFT, ALL RIGHT. YOU'LL BE DOING HARD TIME.

YEAH, AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL EVERYBODY YOU FRAMED US. NO ! NO !

HEY, HEY. GET READY FOR A RUSH, SLATER BUD.

'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA--

YEAH ! WHOO-HOO !

I MEAN, THINK ABOUT IT !

IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF HOT, STEAMING WATER SHOOTING OUT OF A HOLE !

YOU WANNA SEE THAT EVERY DAY ?

JUST BUY A DAMN WHISTLING TEAPOT !

PINE. WHAT'S THE POINT OF THIS ?

AND WHY HASN'T THE GEYSER ERUPTED ?

YOU WANNA KNOW WHY IT HASN'T ERUPTED ? OKAY.

I'LL TELL YOU WHY. DEEDLES !

- THAT'S RIGHT. DEEDLES !

DEEDLES ! DEEDLES !

DEEDLES !

DEEDLES ! DEEDLES ! DEE-- DEE--

DEEDLES ! DEE--

WHOA-OH !

MY GOD ! WHAT'S HAPPENING ?

IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE ! IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE !

THAT'S NO EARTHQUAKE.

THAT'S--

DEEDLES ! ALL RIGHT !

YES !

HOO-HAH !

STEP OUT OF OUR WAY, SLATER !

WHOO !

HA-HA !

WHOO-HOO ! YEAH ! STEW, MAN !

WE GOT PETEY TOO. HEY ! HI, MAN !

ALOHA, MY FRIEND !

DEEDLES ! DEEDLES ! DEEDLES !

HEY, DEEDLES, YOU JUST SAVED THE NATION'S MOST BELOVED GEYSER.

YOU HELPED PUT AWAY AN EVIL MADMAN.

SO, DEEDLES, WHERE ARE YOU GOIN' NOW ?

WE'RE GOIN' TO... DEEDLESTONE !

YEAH !

DEEDLESTONE, 300 ACRES OF 4-TO-6-FOOT STEAMY, GLASSY WAVES...

POWERED BY A REAWAKENED GEYSER AND A FLOODED MEADOW...

THAT ONCE BELONGED TO THE EVIL MADMAN.

DEEDLESTONE IS AN ELTON DEEDLE CORPORATION. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

CHOICE AD, EH, BRO ?

YEAH, AND FULLY ORIGINAL. WHAT DO YOU THINK, POPS ?

BOYS,

YOU'RE FINALLY LIVING UP TO YOUR FAMILY NAME.

I'M DAMNED IMPRESSED BY WHAT THE TWO OF YOU HAVE DONE HERE.

- WELL, WE DIDN'T DO ALL THIS. WHAA-HAA !

I MEAN, YEAH, WE SAVED YELLOWSTONE,

BUT THAT ENTIRE REAWAKENED GEYSER DEAL WAS REALLY JUST THAT JERK--

UH, THANKS, DAD, BUT WE JUST DID WHAT YOU TOLD US. WE SHOWED INITIATIVE.

BOYS, I'M JUST SO VERY, VERY PROUD OF BOTH OF YOU. COME HERE.

THE FEELING'S MUTUAL, POP.

YEAH, WE'RE PROUD OF US TOO.

HEY, SAVE SOME OF THAT FOR ME, LIEUTENANT.

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

AH, STEW, THIS IS FULLY THE BEST OF EVERYTHING.

WE SAVED YELLOWSTONE. I GOT MY GIRL. WE GOT OUR BUDS.

GOT OUR BOARDS. GOT DAD'S RESPECT.

AND BEST OF ALL, IT'S TIME TO--

SURF WYOMING !

** [ "Theme From Hawaii Five

**

**

**

**

* I WANT TO GO WHERE YOU GO I WANT TO DO WHAT YOU DO *

* IF I CAN DO THAT I'LL BE HAPPY *

* I WANT TO FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL I WANT TO LEARN WHAT IS REAL *

* IF I CAN DO THAT I'LL BE HAPPY *

* I WANT TO GO WHERE YOU GO I WANT TO DO WHAT YOU DO *

* IF I CAN DO THAT I'LL BE HAPPY *

* I WANT TO FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL I WANT TO LEARN WHAT IS REAL *

* IF I CAN DO THAT I'LL BE HAPPY *

* MUST I LIKE SUCH A SIMPLE RULE *

* MAYBE I'M JUST A FOOL

* BUT IT FEELS SO GOOD TO SING ABOUT THE JOY THAT YOU BRING *

* DEEP IN MY HEART, YEAH

* DEEP IN MY HEART, YEAH

* DEEP IN MY HEART, YEAH

* DEEP IN MY HEART DEEP IN MY HEART *

* DEEP IN MY HEART DEEP IN MY HEART *

* DEEP IN MY HEART *

* TAKE ME BACK

* TO A PLACE THAT NO ONE KNOWS *

* THE AIR WAS CLEAR

* WE BOTH HAD NOWHERE ELSE TO GO *

* IT SEEMS SO LONG AGO YET SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY *

* SO LONG AGO YET SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY *

**

* SO ASK ME ALL THE QUESTIONS

* DON'T TELL ME THAT I'M LYIN'

* LET'S JUST GET ON WITH WHAT WE'VE GOT *

* LET'S FORGET ALL THE TENSION

* REMEMBER, NOT DEFYIN'

* MAKE SURE WE GIVE IT ALL WE GOT *

* YEAH, WE GIVE IT ALL WE GOT **

* DARLIN'

* I'M AFRAID TO CLOSE MY EYES WHEN I'M GOIN' TO BED *

* I'M AFRAID YOU'LL CRACK THE PHONE DOWN OVER MY HEAD *

* WHY ARE ALL AMERICAN GIRLS SO ROUGH *

* DAMN, THE GIRL CAN'T EVER HURT YOU ENOUGH *

AAH-HOO ! * LADY

* YOU KNOCK ME ON MY KNEES AND I CAN'T STAND UP *

* YOU GOT THE LOOK IN YOUR EYES AS YOU SMACK MY BUTT *

* WHY ARE ALL AMERICAN GIRLS SO ROUGH *

* WHY DO ALL AMERICAN GIRLS

* ACT SO TOUGH

* WHY ARE ALL AMERICAN GIRLS SO ROUGH * GOOD DRIVING, OTTO.

* AMERICAN GIRLS LET'S GO SURFING !

* AMERICAN GIRLS * WHOO-WHOO-WHOO

* WHY ARE ALL AMERICAN GIRLS SO ROUGH *

* AMERICAN GIRLS * WHOO-WHOO-WHOO

* AMERICAN GIRLS * WHOO-WHOO-WHOO

* AMERICAN GIRLS *