Original subtitles

Harvey, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Harvey, why does a love kiss stay in my memory?

Delta Alpha two four.

Delta Alpha two four.

Receiving, over.

Suspects in stolen vehicle heading your way.

Understood. Out.

Thank you.

Get away!

Go on, Sarge.

After a collision with another vehicle, they put up a fight, then fled the

scene.

Anyone injured?

The driver of the other car has got a small head wound.

Get him medical attention, then get on to Scripps Garage and get them to bring

in the stolen vehicle once it's been fingerprinted. Understood, Sarge. Out.

If Dan's really putting in their luck.

Gonna have to see to crime.

Right, Dad.

Thank the lot for stepping in.

Not a problem.

The head wound he's looking at?

That's just a scratch.

Better get you to a doctor's.

Look, I'll escort you into Aidensfield.

They can have a look at your car and fix that as well. All right?

Useful. Here, fill up these bags.

Now, not too full, mind.

Now, then, Alfred Bradley.

Pick the bag.

You know, if there was a bomb, a dozen, Willie Mackay won on a trial basis.

What is this stuff?

Auntie Peggy's miracle chicken food.

Guarantees to get ends laying more eggs.

Oh. You see, once they get the teeth into this lot, even the most stubborn

produce eggs by the apple.

Apart from they haven't got tape, have they?

Hens. Figure of speech, David.

Bert Shanks.

Wanted me four bags.

You collect ten bob off him.

That's a bit dear.

Chickens go cheap.

Not my chicken food, David.

Shame you didn't catch them.

We will, Doctor.

Are you registered with a GP, Mr... Adams.

George Adams.

No, I'm new to the area.

You should be, really.

Would you like to register with us?

Well, I will do, but not just yet. I must get on.

Fine. But do come straight back if you get any headaches.

Thank you.

Oh, I should check your cuts and bruises too, Constable.

Right.

Well, goodbye, Mr Adams, and thanks again.

Well?

I didn't know whether in the cold light of day... What?

Gone off me already?

I got a whack in the mouth.

Gently does it, then.

One thing I can't stand is cocky young louts laughing at the law.

I think they did more than laugh at Rob, Sarge.

Dr Trent saw to you, did she?

Oh, yes, Sarge, she did.

Sarge.

Hello.

Brian Parker, Ashfordly Gazette.

Yes, we're well aware of who you are.

What can I do for you?

They've been happy to get her here, this time from a showroom.

Don't suppose you managed to catch them?

No. Thought not.

How many more cars are going to get stolen and wrecked before you take

We're doing everything in our power to arrest this gang.

Beyond that, I have no further comment to make.

At least half a dozen cars taken for joyride recently.

Would you say that's acceptable?

No comment.

Would you say the situation is out of control?

The only thing that is in danger of being out of control around here is my

temper. And that's not a pretty sight, is it, lads?

Shouldn't you be out there trying to catch this gang rather than threatening

press? Goodbye, Mr Parker.

I've phoned them. They'll have the new headlight fitting working for you.

Oh, good.

I'll drop two of these off on the way then.

What's all this?

Oh, it's up.

Well, Peggy, she's discovered a miracle recipe for chicken feed. Yes, yes, yes.

Second thoughts, I'd rather not know. Just don't be too long.

I could patch it up for you now.

Hit the new headlight once the insurance has had a look.

I ain't bothered about the insurance, love.

It wasn't your fault. Why should you pay for it?

I just want it fixed.

extra -nutritional chicken, Fred. Come on, pull the other one.

It's true.

Me granny on me dad's side invented it.

Her hens were famous for laying more eggs than you could shake a stick at.

And what are you charging for this miracle egg food, then? Half a crown a

Half a crown?

And you've found people mug enough to pay that, have you?

Oh, hello, Reggie.

Two more bags, right? Drop them round.

I see.

Old Reggie's no fool.

He's back for more because I've got his ends laying like good ones.

He didn't wait to buy a drink, I noticed.

So what brought you up here, then?

Comes a point in life you fancy a change.

A fresh start.

Could do with one of them myself.

I'm tired of cities.

I fancied some space.

So I rented a cottage to concentrate on my woodwork.

I'm a furniture maker.

Sounds nice.

Wish I could find the time.

Anyway, glad you enjoyed your meal.

I'll be doing to take the child to my grave.

Here you go.

Thanks, love.

Good, isn't you?

Yeah, yeah, she's done a first -rate job.

My sergeant isn't too keen on people thumping his officers.

Oh, yeah?

We'd appreciate a witness statement from you so that we can charge them with

assault as well.

Look, I didn't mind stepping in to help you, but beyond that, I'd rather not get

involved. Oh?

Well, I live on my own. It's an isolated place. If I give evidence against the

local gang, I could be inviting trouble.

We'd really appreciate it if you did, Mr Adams.

Look, I'll come up here for some peace and quiet.

I'll be catching, OK?

Nice chap.

Give me an extra ten bob for fixing this car.

It's all filled up like you said.

Where are we going?

Whitby. Oh.

Can I ask why, Aunt Peggy?

Of course you can.

Well, can we go for more chicken, Fee?

Oh, no, we've plenty of that.

Well,

what are we going for, then?

Hey, Rob.

Can we offer a pint this evening?

Not sure.

Might have something on. All right. And what's she called?

Scene of crimes have come up with positive prints on the stolen vehicle.

That lot from the hotness, eh? Yeah.

Three lights with form.

Edwards, Butler and Gregan.

Are we picking them up, Sarge? Time to spoil their breakfast, I hope.

One more thing.

A bloodstained print has also been identified.

Belongs to the driver of the other car.

Sir Adams has form, too.

Only his name isn't Adams.

It's Terence Arthur Molloy.

Terry Molloy?

That sounds familiar. Should do.

He's a faith -breaker.

Part of that gang that killed a security guard on a robbery.

He's just been released from Nick.

Wow. No wonder he didn't want to give a witness statement.

Yeah, but whatever he's done, he was actually an innocent party in the car

crash. Innocent?

Terry Molloy is a big -time London villain.

If he's moved onto my patch, he's going to get a visit from me.

I'll have to deal with his job first.

Dad?

Dr.

Trent?

Yes, Alf, what can I do for you?

It's Mrs. Ventress.

She was up in the night.

Tummy trouble.

I said I'd give you a ring.

Well, I'll pop in and see her.

I've had a couple of other patients with stomach upset.

There's definitely a bug going round.

David! Right, David, load up.

Load what up?

Them boxes!

Keep an eye on him, lad.

Edward just costs a lot.

He's given us details of all the vehicles that this little firm have

driven away.

Great. Well, a good clear -up right for us, then, Sarge. What about his two

mates in the cells?

Well, he's named them as accomplices, so they might as well put their hands up

now. Oh, very good result, then.

Indeed.

A lot of paperwork, though.

We'll start with his full statement.

Over to you, Bellamy.

Right, then.

So much for the small fry. Now for Malloy.

Can I have a word, Sarge?

Whatever Malloy may have done in the past, the fact is, I'd have got

from that gang if he hadn't stepped in. He still refused to give a witness

statement. Maybe he was concerned that if he got involved, his real identity

would come out.

I just don't know, anyway.

Shall we just let him get on with his life?

He hasn't done anything wrong up here.

How do we know?

Look, it won't do any harm for him to realise that we know who he is.

Now, his place is on your patch.

Drive me out there.

a bottle!

And will you stop jerking that wheel with precious cargo aboard?

Well, what's in them boxes, Aunt Peggy?

It baffles me that a blood relative of mine can be so dim.

What do you think's in them boxes?

All right, so, frag!

Fragile something it said on them.

Fragile, David.

Fragile.

What's fragile?

Eggs. Eggs are fragile.

We've eggs in them boxes.

All right, eggs.

Yeah.

Well, what do we need boxes of eggs for, though? I mean, with your miracle

chicken food, I reckon our hens could lay as many eggs as we wanted.

Concentrate on your driving David.

Give your brain a rest.

Sergeant Miller.

Ashley Police.

You've met PC Walker?

Nice bit of timber.

Where's he from?

Kendall Sawmills.

I know.

Well, I can see you're a busy man, so we won't hang around.

George?

Or should I say Terry?

That is your real name, isn't it?

Terence Malloy?

I changed it. It's not a crime, is it?

That isn't, no.

But robbing safe and shooting security guards is.

I didn't shoot anyone.

It disgusted me, that's why I turned myself in. And gave evidence against the

others in exchange for a lighter sentence, I believe.

Well, not exactly, no.

They'd killed an innocent man. I wanted no part of it.

I was sentenced for the robbery and I've done my time.

And now you've decided to come here to grace us with your presence.

Well, I was hoping to be left alone to get on with my life.

Fine.

But don't think we are country bumpkins compared to the Met. Believe you me,

we're not.

And don't get any smart ideas. It might be easier to rob safes here than it was

down south.

Understood?

While you're on my patch, I'll have my eye on you, will I?

Look, thanks again for helping me out yesterday.

I appreciate that.

It doesn't pay to be too familiar with convicted criminals, Walker.

I know you think I'm a bit slow, Peggy, but I still don't see what you need all

these eggs for.

Hey, lad, it's simple.

Here.

Now, that...

It means common market. Do you know what that is?

Um, not really, no.

It's a bit like Ashfordly Market that we have on a Wednesday.

Not really, no.

No, it's foreign.

Them countries in Europe are in it.

You see, they produce things and then they sell them to each other. Only

sometimes they produce too much.

And that's what they call a surplus.

Now, if you have too much wine, that's called a wine lake.

And too much butter is a butter mountain, do you see?

They've got mountains made out of butter and lakes full of wine.

Yeah, something like that. And just now, they've been producing too many eggs.

So they've got an egg doodah.

What's it?

A basket, like a giant egg basket.

Yeah, anyway.

These egg producers get paid compensation to destroy any surplus

Only some of them, being crafty, pocket the compensation and then sell the eggs

outside the common market for a knock -down price.

Well, you've bought some of them.

I've bought loads.

I still don't understand why, though.

Well, I get them cheap.

Because they've not been approved by the egg marketing board for sale in this

country. I can't sell them to shops and that, so I use my loaf.

And I sell folk my miracle chicken feed instead to feed their ends with. And

then, just before dawn, I creep into their chicken coops and I plonk a

of extra eggs in there.

They think that their chickens have laid them because of my miracle food, so

they buy more and more of me.

What? Thanks.

Brilliant. I know.

That mask seems to have made a remarkable recovery.

Well, I had some remarkable treatment from my first class doctor.

You know, you're proving to be a real test of my self -control.

How do you mean?

I'm finding it very difficult to keep my hands off you, especially in public.

Oh, we do still have to be careful, Rob.

I am still married.

Married? Good Lord, the shame of it. You know what I mean.

Don't worry.

I know exactly what I'm getting myself into.

I'd better go.

There you are.

Now, I'll... Oh, yeah.

Didn't you do well, my duck?

Aidensfield Police.

You took your time answering.

Sorry, Sarge, I was in the bathroom.

What's up?

Last night, the offices of Kendall's sawmill were broken into.

The safe was blown.

Now, there hasn't been a safe robbery in Ashfordly since I've been here.

Any guesses as to who might be behind this?

Walker?

Going somewhere, Malloy?

Not that it's any of your business.

But yes, I am. In a bit of a hurry, by the looks of it.

Now, why is that, then? I'm not safe here. I don't trust you lot to keep my

identity to yourselves.

A convicted criminal won't trust the police.

Whatever next?

It's not a joke to me.

I've had sex with ruthless people.

Will this desire to flee be connected to last night?

Someone blew the safe at the sawmill.

That's nothing to do with me.

Where were you last night? I was here.

Can anyone vouch for that?

Sir, we've only your word for it, then.

Well, that's another reason for leaving.

You'll be putting me in a frame for every job that goes off from now on.

Under the circumstances, I'm not happy to see you leave. I'd like to come down

the station.

Look, I don't know nothing about last night, so if you don't mind, I've got a

car to load.

Well, I do mind.

Unless you won't come voluntarily.

I'm arresting you on suspicion of aggravated burglary.

Hello, Alf. Hello, Doctor.

I'm just on my way to see Mrs Ventress. Is she all right?

Oh, she seems to be getting over the worst. Thank goodness.

I've sent some blood samples for analysis.

Could it be something she's eaten?

Doubt it.

Mrs Ventress thinks that buying for two is cheapest. We always eat the same

meals. And you've been fine?

Well, as well as can be expected.

Under the strain, that is.

I'll give you a call later.

A list of people want more M food. Ah.

I'm getting a bit fed up with this. We're trying to run a pub here, not a

chicken feed depot.

Don't be so miserable, Mr Blaketon.

You're using us as an unpaid message service.

What's the world coming to when people want paying for passing on messages?

Here. I've one on me for your trouble. It's worth three, Bob.

How will you charge that per crown?

I've put my prices up due to demand.

Well, I don't miss anybody serving, but I'd like a milk stout.

Good to work. You haven't got any enemies?

Well, I've got a mate who used to work in the agricultural supply business.

I'll give him a call.

It's time we found out what's so miraculous about this stuff.

There was an incident at the sawmills last night. That's all we've got to say

present. Neighbours reported hearing a loud explosion.

Word is a safe was blown in the office.

Is that so?

How much did they get away with?

Who was behind it? Any idea?

I've told you, our inquiries are proceeding. That's all we've got to say.

Put him in the interview room, Walker.

Yes, Sergeant.

Wait.

After you.

None of your business.

A free press has a democratic right to ask questions.

Then contact Control Room at HQ and ask to speak to the press officer.

Goodbye.

Well done.

Sorry? What do you mean?

Bringing those car thieves in.

I hear you in particular were very quick off the mark. Oh, no.

It was all of us, really.

And they didn't give us much trouble.

Impressive, though.

It's nice to be able to report good news for a change.

It's been a real red -letter day for you lot.

I've just been in the station talking to your sergeant.

He's all right when you get to know him.

Yeah, I suppose he is.

What's he saying?

He's just arrested the villain who blew the sawmill safe.

He's what?

You got Terry Malloy?

Terry Malloy.

That's it.

One of that gang who shot the security guard.

So he's here.

Did Sergeant Miller tell you he'd arrested him?

No. But you just did.

I'm Peggy. David.

Private enterprise.

You can't beat it.

See, this is what I pay for the eggs, and this is what the chicken food

costs me, and that is my profit for selling it as Miracle Feed.

It's a lovely feeling, I must say.

The only trouble is I'm... Oh, I'm worn out from having to get up at the crack

of dawn and do the egg rounds.

You shouldn't be doing this, Aunt Peggy. Thank you, David. That's very kind of

you. What? Well, offering to give me a lie -in while you do the deliveries

yourselves. What, I didn't mean... You are the sweetest, kindest nephew any

auntie could have.

I'll write you a list of ways to go and how many eggs you've got to leave in

each place and that.

You'll get your reward in heaven, David, if not earlier.

I'll slip you two bobs for doing it.

Yeah, I work for the local paper up here.

How much would you pay for an exclusive?

Sarge, we haven't cracked him.

Malloy's sticking to his story.

Well, then we have to let him go.

No.

I can hold him overnight.

But we've no actual evidence, have we? He was about to do a bunk.

Scenes of crimes may have come up with something by morning.

Well, that's a bit hard, isn't it, Sarge? Don't question me, Walker. I'm

doing my job.

If I release him now, he could disappear altogether.

I'll get him booked into the cells.

Well, you have got a point there, Robert.

You've got no right banging me up like this. I have nothing to do with that

robbery. And you've nothing to worry about.

It'll only be one night. One night?

It's a lifetime, pal.

With my background, you're never allowed to escape the past.

You can't understand that.

Yes, I can.

You're trying to make a fresh start, and I respect you for that.

But you're not the only one who's had to do it.

Oh, you've got a dodgy background yourself, have you?

In a way.

Well, you've been a bad boy, eh?

I went with that. Scrumping apples, getting your library books back later.

My dad's doing time.

He's a thief.

Get Moran, I haven't been eating.

Drive carefully, David. We don't want any breakages.

We shouldn't be doing this, Aunt Peggy. David, people...

Overjoyed when they see them extra eggs.

Pretend you're Father Christmas or the Tooth Fairy.

Yep, I've got her.

Thanks for that.

An important development in the sawmill's robbery, Sarge.

Go on. Well, it seems that two men suffering from explosive burns checked

themselves into North Allerton Hospital.

After being questioned by a local CID, they admitted to the bungled safe job at

the sawmill.

Right. You'd better release my lawyer, then.

Do we give him an apology for the inconvenience?

I never apologise for doing my job, Constable.

Right then.

Hey -o.

Were you saying that?

National press?

How on earth did they get hold of that?

Anyone could find him now.

Somebody must have tipped off the press that we'd arrested Malloy.

Who was it?

Well... I didn't tip him off as such, Sergeant.

That reporter, he told me that you'd arrested someone.

And I just assumed he knew who he was.

You told him we'd arrested Malloy?

Yes. Yes, and I'm sorry.

Give me strength.

I'm sorry.

Sarge.

We've completely blown his cover now.

Probably put him in danger.

The least we can do is let him know and offer him help.

Let's not get carried away.

All right, I'll go and see him and I'll tell him about the press article.

And suggest that the sooner he moves on, the better.

Doctor, how can we help you?

Oh, it's Alf I'm here to see.

I've had the test results on these stomach upsets.

Oh, yes.

I'm afraid it does look like poisoning from contaminated food.

They've identified traces of the salmonella bacteria.

Salmonella? You told me you've eaten the same meals as your wife.

Any poultry, eggs, omelettes, that sort of thing. Oh, I'm off eggs at the

moment.

But my wife...

She had a lightly boiled egg the other morning.

I had toast.

Where did the egg come from?

Well, her neighbours.

Her hens have been laying a few extra lately.

They've probably been eating some of Peggy's miracle food.

What miracle food?

No, she hasn't been in yet.

Everyone who has food poisoning ate home -produced egg.

As far as we can gather, all those eggs came from hens fed on Peggy's miracle

food. Well, the food itself is not contaminated. I bet it's scientifically

checked. Peggy Armstrong charges a fortune for that. It's just bog

chicken feed.

Yet when the hens eat it, they seem to lay contaminated eggs.

Control to Delta Alpha 2 -1.

Control to Delta Alpha 2 -1, over.

Control to Delta Alpha 2 -1, are you receiving me?

Sergeant Miller's on his way out to Malloy's place. It seems he's out of

range. You want to be grateful, Alf?

Gives us a bit of peace, eh?

Yes, except I've had a call from the Met.

They've had a tip -off following the newspaper story.

Two of the associates of the gang that Malloy put away.

They may be on their way up to Yorkshire.

Well, I don't like the sound of that.

It gets worse.

They could be armed.

Control to Delta Alpha 2 -1.

Over.

Very important we isolate the cause of this. Well, let's go over to Peggy and

David and see what she has to say, yeah?

Control to Delta Alpha 2 -4.

Receiving. Over. Ah, Rob.

We need to get in contact with Sergeant Miller as a matter of urgency.

He's out of range at Terry Malloy's cottage.

What's the problem, Alf?

Well, there's a possibility that two armed men are in the vicinity looking

Malloy. Phil's on his way, but you're closer.

Understood, Alf. I'll get out there sharpish. Alf.

Sorry, the eggs will have to wait.

K bye.

Anybody else out there?

Nothing personal, mate.

Wrong place, wrong time.

My station knows where I am.

When I don't report back, they'll come looking for me.

Maybe.

But we'll be done by then.

Think about it.

What can you possibly gain from this?

Oh, what we came to do.

Give this lousy grass what's coming to him.

But murdering a copper as well.

Well, you know what that means.

Got no choice.

Yes.

And he's just going to let us drive away and forget about it.

Until you pull that trigger, you've committed no crime other than assault

against Malloy, which we can't proceed with unless he presses charges.

My brother's doing life because of this grass.

I didn't come all this way to shake his hand.

Fire shots and they'll be heard.

They may look isolated, but men work in these hills.

You'll not get far.

That's it!

Use your head. What you're planning isn't clever.

That's it!

Get after the other one.

It's nothing to do with me.

I mean, my hen food, it is the very highest quality.

It's the very average quality, actually. It's been analysed.

Whatever's causing this, the common denominator is that all the infected

came from hens that ate your feed.

Yeah, but the hens don't actually... The hens don't actually do what, David?

Oh, don't listen to him.

No, I'm sorry, Doctor. I'm afraid we can't be any help to you on this.

Dr Trent.

If you can spare me some time, there's something I think you ought to see.

It involves you two as well.

You say nowt.

Take him away.

Thanks for that.

It's a bad habit I've developed recently. Coming to the aid of the

caused me nothing but trouble.

I came here because I owed you an apology.

I owe you much more now.

And if you want to stay here, we can help with that.

It's always nice to know.

I promise you'll be all right as long as you're on my patch.

No, thanks. It's too late.

Once my arm's fixed, I'm off.

Cypher in London.

Just after he left, Doctor, Reggie came into the pub with the most remarkable

tale.

When he checked this morning, he found the usual large number of eggs his hens

had been laying ever since going onto Aunty Peggy's chicken feed. But there

something about the eggs that puzzled him.

You see, his hens had managed to lay eggs with the little lion already

damped on him.

Yeah, that's that.

You see, it's all to do with the butter lake and the wine market and the egg

market. Look, slow down.

What are you trying to say?

Surplus common market eggs.

Look, I'm moving with the times.

I'm trading with the common market. Now, that's the future.

Those eggs are for pig's will, not for human consumption.

And some of them were infected with salmonella. You'll have to destroy all

eggs, Peggy.

And you can make amends by giving all these good people the rest of your

feed. For nowt.

Go on, then.

Just a small charge for delivery.

Rob.

Are you all right?

No, he's fine.

We all are, Doctor. Good.

Good. I heard about the shooting.

I was concerned for all of you.

Sergeant Miller was very lucky and Malloy's going to be okay.

I'll do the drinks, eh?

Sorry.

I was really worried about you. I'm fine. Rob, want a pint?

Give me half an hour and I'll slip away, okay?

Sure.

Love you.

There's one more thing you two haven't explained yet.

Why these hens are laying eggs with a little lion already stamped on them.

Unless you're telling us that your chicken feed is genuinely miraculous.

Ah, well, you see, some of the eggs, they fell off the lorry and they got

smashed. So I'll have to get those from the grocers.

Oh,

they've got them on tick as well. So, uh, you're in five bob.

David, sometimes I just despair.

Well, I know exactly how you feel, Peggy.

Oh, please.

Problem, Constable?

Take that!

Hello, George.

Are you planning to have a go at me in your report?

Ever shot clay pigeons before, Mrs Armstrong?

No!

The men have smelled a rat.

Don't give me that. You don't give a damn what they think.

He's as bent as the top corner of a goal post.