Original subtitles

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does a love kiss stay in my memory?

Tractor thefts.

I've had insurance people on me this morning accusing us of incompetence.

There have been three thefts in the area.

Four, if you count the failed attempts at Harrison, Sarge. Yes, thank you,

Bellamy. And they were all insured by Ashfordly Alliance, as they have told me

repeatedly this morning. They're all brand new tractors as well. No wonder

were obsessed.

The questions we need to be asking are why didn't they lock these tractors up?

Old habits die hard.

Were they really stolen in the first place? Do you think it's an insurance

fraud, Sarge? Well, at this stage, I don't know.

So get back to the victims and make sure those tractors are still missing.

I want you two out there getting me answers.

Right, right. I need to be able to reassure the insurers that this wasn't a

-up job.

More likely has to reassure them that it is, so they don't have to pay out.

Aha!

That's it.

Scripps Paradise Gardens.

Your dreams are our designs.

What do you think of it?

What's it mean?

Is your garden more like a nightmare than a dream?

Do you long to win the best garden in the village competition but don't know

how? Let us perform an overnight transformation for you.

Script Paradise Gardens.

Paradise? In Aidensfield? That'll be the day. Just because you live in

Yorkshire, Oscar, it doesn't mean you can't have dreams, you know.

Bye.

Jen? Yes?

Has Mrs Coulthrop been in for a prescription?

Her husband came in to collect it a few days ago. Why?

A letter from the hospital saying she didn't turn up for a routine thyroid

check. I'll have to visit and find out why.

Couldn't you call?

No, she's not on the phone.

It's a pretty full visit list today and baby clinic this afternoon.

Could it wait till tomorrow?

Yeah, I suppose so. I'll go for the first thing, though. Just finding this

takes half a day.

I'd hate that, you know, living somewhere so remote, no phone or

Some people might call it peaceful.

I'd call it boring.

They've been back to all the farms, Sarge.

And? The thefts seem real enough.

No new leads?

Well, the only link between them is that they were all new tractors and they

were all insured with the same company.

Right. Let's get Bellamy and Bradley to talk to the tractor dealers in the area.

See if we can find a pattern here.

Hello? on earth would want a garden like that?

Someone grand, Bernard, with impeccable taste.

More money than taste.

Someone who wants to impress the local community by winning the best garden in

the village competition.

Shame we haven't got anybody of that description round here.

Well, that's just where you're wrong, Bernard. That is just where you are

Because in actual fact, I've already spoken to a Miss Larkspur who finds my

South Sea Island paradise idea most interesting.

Thelma Larkspur?

That's right.

From railway cuttings.

Of course, we've heard all about the theft.

And I'll do everything I can to help.

I mean, it won't do us much good if the farmers think there's no point in buying

anything new in case it gets stolen.

No. Of course, they're only a tiny percentage of our sale, but, well, once

people get an idea in their head, it can be pretty hard to shift.

Particularly with farmers.

Tell me, do you supply most of the new machinery in this area?

Pretty much all.

There isn't anywhere else for them to go.

Well, if we could have a list of all your... Fails over the last couple of

months, that'd be great. Of course, I'll just jot them down for you.

You've been busy.

Sadly, they're not all my fails.

It'd be nice to get all that commission.

What about insurance?

Do you advise the farmers on that?

We recommend Ashfordly Alliance.

The rates are pretty reasonable.

Well, they won't be if they have to keep paying out for new tractors.

Do you know, I do love these bijou gardenettes.

You'd be amazed at how much scope there is here.

And whether you want a South Sea Island paradise or a Roman temple, we can do

it. And it won't cost as much as a larger garden.

Well, they've sold 20 attracted in the last two months. But only four of those

have been targeted by the thieves. Yes, but look.

This one and this are close to villages.

Yeah, and those ones have farm workers' cottages close by.

They've done their homework.

All these farms are very remote.

Yeah, well, here's another one.

Steve Calthrop's. That's pretty isolated.

All the tractors were stolen within days of being delivered.

Steve Calthrop got his only very recently.

Chances are he could be next.

I want you out there watching his tractor tonight. Right, Sarge. One of

thieves caught.

Preferably red -handed.

I want you two out there watching a tractor tonight.

Chances are you could be next.

Bad chance.

Well, at least it's not raining.

I had plans tonight.

She'll understand.

We're not going to see anything later.

Well, maybe they'll leave a light on in the yard.

Phil, there's no electricity.

Not even a generator?

Well, not since I was last here, no.

Yeah, but that was when the old man was alive.

They would have modernised it a bit since then.

Does it look like it?

Have you been stood up?

I never seem to see him these days.

You saw him yesterday in here on Tuesday lunchtime.

Good point. All right, I give up. It's just that I'd like to see more of him.

I'm off.

Oh, I meant to tell you, Vernon.

I saw a couple at the post office just moved up from London.

Dead posh, they were. They were saying how nice it was to have village

competitions. And having just moved in, the garden wasn't up to much.

Just moved in?

Up by old Mrs Herbert.

What was the name?

The something Joneses.

What, Double Barrel?

No, Naismith, that's it. The Naismith Joneses.

Why don't you just call in and welcome them to the village?

Yeah, and if you get the job...

She wants commission.

What? Shh.

He'll just be checking on his new toy.

Well, this time of night.

Be light soon.

Well, not for a couple of hours.

There's nobody going to be taking his tractor tonight.

No.

What do we do now?

Let's go and see what he's up to.

What a night.

Totally exhausted.

You didn't go back to the farm? No.

I was getting light. Didn't see much point.

Well, can't blame you, really.

Steve Coulthrop.

Never thought he had it in him.

Ah, Mr. Naismith Jones.

Good morning, and what a lovely morning it is too. I spoke to your good lady

wife, I believe.

Scripps at Paradise Gardens.

Well, you want to come in?

I wasn't expecting you. The hospital contacted me.

You missed your last appointment?

I clean forgot.

Don't seem to remember anything these days.

Could be because your thyroxine levels are too low.

Are they?

Well, you know the symptoms.

Tiredness, lethargy, lack of concentration, ring a bell.

Just about sums me up.

Where's the doctor?

Is everything all right?

Yeah, I'm just a bit concerned that Elaine might not be taking enough

She takes it regularly.

Huh? Aren't you, Elaine? Yeah. You might need a higher dose, then.

I'll need to do a blood test to find out. I'll just nip to the car and get

I need.

Doctor.

She's just depressed.

Sorry? Elaine.

She's been like it since her father died.

I keep saying she should go away.

Go and visit her aunt or something.

A bit of the air, change of scenery, but she just won't listen.

Well, I know she was very close to her father, but knowing that someone is

to die... Doesn't always make it any easier.

Do you need to do the blood test?

She's just depressed.

Well, I think it's for the best. Then at least we'll know where we are.

And over here, I thought we'd have an Arcadian dell.

And then here, a shady nook.

with weeping willows and some heliborifus belliformi

inissimum.

And, of course, the narcissus popping their heads up in the spring.

And under the willows, I thought a statue of Venus,

artistically draped with the branches of the willow.

And then over here... Right, I'll take this blood... Don't go down to the

hospital and get them to turn the results through later today.

Let's get you fighting fit again, eh? The sooner the better, Doctor.

Steve?

Steve, where's the tractor?

Erm... Gone. What do you mean, gone?

I didn't want to tell you.

I didn't want you worrying.

It's been stolen.

And how long were you thinking of keeping it a secret?

That's awful.

Have you reported it?

I was just going.

This is the last straw.

Wasting money on things we don't need.

I just haven't got the energy.

He's going to ruin me.

Bernard.

I need you to go to Elsonby Nurseries and try and get all that stuff.

Well, I can't leave the garage.

Well, I can only expect David to do deals, can't I? I've got work to do,

you, Goh?

Bernard, I am not only the chief design consultant, I am also the head salesman.

I've got another client to see.

Well, I'm sorry, but no.

What about the garage? What about if somebody wants to arrange a funeral?

If all goes according to plan, Bernard, you will never have to arrange another

funeral as long as you live or run the garage.

We'll be raking it in.

Do you get it? Raking it in.

Hello?

Mr. Coulthrop, can I help you?

The tractor's been stolen.

And when did this happen?

Sometime during the night.

Oh, dear.

Yeah, but how will I know what to get?

Well, everything that's in the picture, I suppose.

Except that fountain he's put across through that.

What is in the picture?

Well, Graff, to get some turf, that's easy enough.

That's a weeping willow.

Now, that's a... That's a... Statue?

Yeah, but she's... Got no, um... Arms? No, I know a lot

of statues don't have arms. Look, I can't be bothered with all this. I

can't. Just get whatever you can.

I suppose it matters if it's the exact same as long as it's cheap.

We were all agreed, or so I thought, that Mr Calthrop's brand -new shiny

would be the most likely target for the thieves to hit next, and that last night

would be the most likely night for that theft.

And it seems we were right, weren't we, gentlemen?

But there's very little point in being right.

If you can't rely on two experienced constables to watch said tractor for one

night without charging off in some wild goose chase!

Get yourself smartened up and ready to go back to work.

I am smartened up.

You back quick?

I hope we'll find the results through.

Are they all right?

Not really. I need to increase Elaine's medication.

Is she inside?

No.

I took her over to her aunt's in Whitby.

I thought it would do her good, you know.

She needs to know to double a dose of thyroxine.

I'll go over.

Straight away.

Although you worry Dr Somerby, I'll make sure she gets the message.

Okay.

Could you get her to come and see me next week at the surgery?

It saved me a trip.

I will.

Don't you worry.

Did I hear a car?

No.

Just someone asking directions.

You need any help, mate?

No, thank you. Um,

yeah.

Oh, you're a real professional.

I can tell.

Oh.

This lot's going to come to a few, Bob, you know.

Oh, that's all right. I've got money.

Oh, come on.

I hadn't even started paying for it.

Well, let's take long.

Only, er... I've not had time to have any breakfast yet, thanks to whoever did

this. No, you carry on. I'm just going to have a quick look around, if that's

all right.

Now that looks a bit like one of them.

Well, don't tell me you like ladies with their bits missing.

No, you're right.

Look, you're over your budget now, mate. You can't afford the turf of the trees,

never mind one of these statues.

But I do know where you can get one second hand.

Oh, no.

No, I don't think we can do that. I mean, this is meant to be a new garden.

Well, that's an old statue, isn't it?

Maybe I should have said antique rather than second -hand.

Look, it means you'll be able to afford everything your boss wants.

And it will be cheaper.

You finished?

Yeah, there's just one thing.

The open window round the back, would that be the bedroom?

That's right.

And you're really quite sure you didn't hear anything at all last night?

It ain't more than a tractor to wake me, Constable.

Right, then.

I'll be off.

Strange we heard nothing.

You weren't here, Mr Cuthrop, so you couldn't have... What do you mean?

We've been watching this place. We saw you leave.

Watching? We've been investigating a spate of tractor thefts.

We had you under surveillance as a potential victim.

So you saw the tractor go?

Not exactly, no.

We were concerned that you left so quietly, so we followed you.

You saw where I went?

Yes, we did.

You won't say anything to Elaine, will you?

She'd kick me out if she knew, and this farm means everything to me.

Look, I know I've been stupid.

But it's been so hard for me lately.

Elaine's sick and she's been worse since her father died.

We've been in separate beds for the last year.

I wonder if she doesn't notice you're slipping out in the middle of the night.

Look, I'll stop it all. I swear.

But just don't say anything to her, will you?

I'll lose everything.

Don't worry.

I won't tell her enough to happen.

Look, I've been meaning to ask.

Was the tractor insured?

No, it wasn't.

Wasn't insured?

Well, I never thought this would happen.

Does that mean I still have to make the HP payments?

What am I going to do?

Well, I suggest you get back to the dealership. Talk to them.

Yeah. Yeah, right. Sorry.

Right.

And I'll meet you where I told you.

Yeah, five o 'clock.

Yeah, and I'll have the turf, the mature trees you wanted and the statue, OK?

Right, more end, five o 'clock.

See you then.

All right.

Tricia, Tricia, look, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I've got held up. I'm

sorry about letting you down.

That's nice.

Any more apologies you want to get off your chest or shall I get you a drink?

Mine will be an orange juice, please, Jean. Right.

So, come on. What was so important last night you had to stand me up?

A long story.

We were out watching a farm trying to prevent a tractor theft and we ended up

following the farmer because he sneaked out at me.

What was he up to?

Well, nothing illegal.

Went out to visit his fancy woman.

No, you're making it up.

I'm serious.

And that's not the end of it. While we were out following the farmer, his

tractor really did get stolen and Merton is not amused. I'll bet.

How many tractors were stolen last night?

Well, one's been up, hasn't it?

We don't.

Thanks, Gina.

But wasn't Steve Coulthrop stolen too?

How do you know about that?

I've been there a couple of times today. He's trying to thought out his wife's

medication. Steve Coulthrop?

Doesn't seem the type.

Tell me, would her pills make her sleep more soundly?

No, not if they were working. Why?

Well, somebody drove a tractor right underneath her bedroom window. Her

sneaks out in the middle of the night and she doesn't hear anything. It might

down to the illness.

She's not improved at all these past weeks, despite the tablets I've given

Maybe Steve's been slipping her a couple of sleeping tablets.

Or worse still, trying to poison her.

Don't be a... Poor Elaine, what a mess.

I wonder if he's packed her off to her aunt so he can have some more time with

this fancy woman.

He hasn't packed her off anywhere. I just spoke to her this minute up at the

farm.

No more?

All done.

Are you going to see the courthouse again?

Yeah. I can't think of why you told me she wasn't there.

Yeah, it's rather strange.

Can you ring the impairment for me? I might be a bit late for her afternoon

visit. No problem.

Thanks. See you later.

Bye.

There's the rest of the stuff. The trees, the statue.

I'll go and pick it up. They'll always just keep it there, you know.

They've got to dig the trees up.

Look, get us round to the Naismith Joneses. We'll get this stuff put in.

One hour, Vernon, and that's it. Remember, I've shut up shop for this.

Hey, and the statue's an antique.

Well, don't let him charge you too much for it.

I've told him I'm not going to pay him as much, because it's not new.

And he agreed.

They shouldn't have called you. It's nothing.

Well, it doesn't look like nothing to me.

Who did it?

Steve Calthrop. It was just a silly argument.

Oh, yeah?

What about?

He came in to find out about his HP repayments.

Whether he's got to keep them up now he hasn't got the tractor anymore.

He was understandably upset.

Yeah, but won't the insurers pay for that? He hasn't got any.

Look, I feel sorry for the bloke, but I can't just forget about the money, can

I? I mean, it's not as if it's mine to give away.

And that's what you told him, is it?

At the Zerg.

Called me a thief and generally ranting. Well, it's not surprising, really.

No.

Look, I feel sorry for him, so I don't want to press charges, OK?

Yeah, OK. I mean, why kick a man when he's down?

Hello?

I thought you were supposed to be awake, doing it at your aunt's or something.

My aunt's?

Must have got the wrong end of his dick.

When will you get the results of my blood test?

They're back. Didn't Steve tell you to double up on your tablets?

No.

I must have forgotten.

I hope you don't mind me asking, but... are things OK between you and Steve?

Not really, no.

I've not had much energy to argue with him of late.

You are taking your tablets, aren't you? Of course I am.

Can I see them?

You got everything?

Everything, just like you wanted.

You got the rest of the money?

Look, he's got a arm.

Yeah.

Sorry, mate.

Oh, Mr. Burden's going to be really pleased.

Well, we'll have to charge you a couple of quid extra for that then, eh?

I'll be there as soon as I can.

Yes. Bye.

Problem? It was one of the gardeners at Ashfordly Hall.

Vandals. In the house?

No. Gardeners and sheds, I think.

Well, you best get up there, then.

Right, sir.

I'll go there right away.

What's she doing here? Seeing my patient.

We've no right to barge in when you're not wanted. Steve! I was trying to find

out why Elaine hadn't been getting better and now I know. What do you mean?

Someone's been swapping your tablets for vitamin.

Vitamins.

She's given you the wrong tablets.

And now she's trying to shift the blame. Why did you tell me Elaine had gone to

her aunt?

I didn't say that.

What are you talking about? You didn't want me to see Elaine because I'd find

out she wasn't getting a medication.

She's making it up. What's going on?

He accused Ward of being a thief.

Because he's got to keep paying for a tractor he hasn't got.

Steve Calthrop?

Yeah, he went and thumped that salesman.

What?

I told him to talk to him, see what he could do. This is getting out of hand.

If he'd stayed with that stakeout, none of this would have... Is it possible you

were being watched?

You mean the thief knew we were there and saw us leave?

You say he would have had to drive the tractor right past the bedroom window?

Yeah, but according to Elaine, she sleeps so deeply, nothing would rouse

And Steve was at his fancy woman's, of course.

Yeah, so the question is, how did the thief know that Steve was out of the

I think you'd better talk to the young lady involved.

Christine Hargrave, wasn't it?

I've told you I'm not speaking to the police. If you want to know about Steve

Calthrop, ask him.

But... Or else talk to Peter Ward.

What?

Looks like he and Calthrop might be closer than we thought.

What a pain, was it?

Mike?

Said he was going home after Calthrop hit him.

I wrote the address down.

I just wish you understood why, Steve.

Why?

I'm tired of listening to you.

Day in, day out.

Going on about your father.

No, it's insane. It's all my fault.

No!

I'm saying I'm tired of being undermined.

I'm tired, I'm sick and tired of living in a park. This is my home, Steve. I was

born here. I don't want things changed.

Don't start this again. You know, I thought, now he's gone, we could do

something that I wanted.

You know, it's like he's still here.

You know, giving me orders.

So you put your wife's health at risk to get your own way? You thought of a way

to keep me quiet?

It wasn't like that.

You know, I was just trying to make things better for us.

For you.

I wanted to modernise things. I wanted to get electric in. Get a new milking

parlour. A new tractor.

A new woman?

I think it's starting to make sense.

Who is she?

She's lying.

You're the last thing.

Look, I want you out of here now.

You can't do that. Kana, this is my farm. Go.

No. Go.

Go on. Get out of my farm.

Get out of my farm. Elaine.

Ta -da!

Ta

-da!

Do you think we'll win?

I'm sure of it, Mrs. Naismith -Jones. I'm sure of it.

I trust we get a discount if there's no fountain.

Just a mess around.

Just can't seem to find myself.

I'm thinking that's not something he does too well.

Is there another way out of here?

There's an old door behind those shelves.

This is ridiculous!

You can't keep us locked up in here forever!

There's no point lying to us. We caught you with Stephen Peltrop's tractor.

And you can't say you didn't know it was his. You sold it to him after all.

Recognised it the minute I saw it.

I was going to give you a call as soon as I got a chance.

Really? Yeah. Well, I knew it was dodgy as soon as these blokes tried to sell me

a nearly new tractor.

Except they say you were trying to sell it to them.

Well, they would do, wouldn't they?

And Christine Hargrave gave us a full statement.

What, you'd take a woman like that's word against mine?

Oh, Mr Ward, you ran away when my officers arrived.

Why would you do that if you were anything?

You've got to know, I had no choice.

Oh, yeah?

I owed a lot of money.

You don't argue with blokes like these.

I had to pay up by the end of the week.

So I flogged the tractors for cash.

You worked alone?

You're joking.

I had to get to the farm somehow and then drive the tractor back.

Who?

You haven't worked it out, have you?

Steve Calthrop.

I'm no Mrs Pearman. I don't know where she's got to.

It's most unlike her.

But shall I put you down for an appointment tomorrow?

OK. He thought he was driving me to repossess tractors from other people who

behind him. But he must have known they'd been stolen.

Really kicked up.

So I introduced him to Christine and paid her to keep him happy and his

conscience on hold.

So why deal from him if you were working together?

To keep him in line.

If he hadn't thumped me, I'd have given it back to him eventually. How did you

get to Steve's farm?

Christine dropped me nearby.

I saw Steve drive off, followed by you two.

So I just walked on in and drove the tractor away.

It's like taking candy from a baby.

Steve, I've got other patients to see. Just open the door. I won't take this

further.

Steve?

Are you there?

Maybe if you try.

Tell him it'll be all right if he lets her out.

Steve?

Are you listening to me?

Steve? Well, answer me then.

Come on, what do you think you're going to do now?

Run off with your lady friend?

Or she's in for a big disappointment.

Face up to reality, you never did know how to keep a woman happy.

Elaine, perhaps... You say that all you want is to get on with running the farm

your way.

Your way?

You don't know the first thing about running a farm.

Go on. Stand up for yourself, you coward.

I know you're still out there, Elaine. I really think he might have gone.

He's still out there.

Steve!

Let us out, you stupid man!

I'm not stupid.

I just wanted you to listen to me and to stop telling me your father's ways were

best. My father knew more about running a farm than you ever will.

He was stuck in the dark ages.

You know nothing.

You know half the man he was and you never will be.

Well, I've had enough of it.

I want you out of here and I want you out of my life. Shut up. And don't

our man is just fine without you.

Shut up!

Useless to you here. Shut up! Useless as a farmer.

Shut up!

And you're useless in the bedroom.

Shut up! Shut up!

What's he doing?

He's trying to kill us.

Crazy. We've got to get out of here.

Can't get you out!

Stop the smoke getting in.

Yeah,

fire!

Yeah, I need the fire brigade, quickly!

Lord, safely tucked away for the night.

Ask the police.

Sorry for the blog, really.

For a man who drugs his wife while committing adultery.

Well, no, not that, no.

The man is weak.

You never tell what weak men are going to do next.

It's an emergency call. There's a fire at Coleslaw Farm.

Bellamy, you and I will go in the car.

It's okay, honestly.

I can't hear it. Yes, you can.

Help us, Dave, please.

Elaine, you've got to get out of here. It's the only way.

I can't, I can't.

Please,

Elaine, do it, please.

Hang on.

Hang on.

Come on!

Come on, you can do it!

My baby.

I'm so sorry.

Everyone safe?

Yes, Sarge.

Well, let's hope they get that insured.

Looks like George is taking plenty on the book.

Well, you know who's famous this year, don't you?

Who's that?

Well, I have the one to beat. It's a Naismith Jones Greek idyll, complete

the statue of Venus.

Well, I heard that Thelma Larkin's South Sea Paradise Island was the call of

seconds. Greek idyll? South Sea Island Paradise? What are you two joking about?

Oh, it's Vernon's latest venture.

Great Paradise Garden.

Hey, what do you think, Alf? We could have an oasis next to the beer cellar

a Roman temple by the bins.

Did you say statue of Venus?

Well, he's an accomplice to the theft.

I suspect the courts will be lenient on him as it's his first offence.

As for the rest, well, that's up to Elaine.

Oh, I spoke to her this morning.

How is she?

Confused. Aren't we all?

She's got good reason.

There's no doubt Steve acted appallingly, but he was genuinely

I think he does still care.

The question is, what does she?

Come to witness our triumph, have you?

Triumph? I hope so, Vernon, I certainly hope so.

Only rumour has it that Lord Ashfordly is not in very good temper.

Then the sight of our Greek idyll will put him in a better one.

What's his problem, anyway?

It's just that thieves and vandals have stolen trees, turf and a statue of a

naked lady.

You wouldn't know a thing about it, would you?

David? Here he is.

I know it's Christmas. I've got 50 ruddy Christmas trees

to shift.

If you don't like it, you can lump it.

And in the meantime, I want my wife to have police protection.

I won't bite.

And Christmas.

A Christmas to remember.

I think that's what we all want.

Inspector Morse finds himself in the frame for murder at ten past midday. The

next up, though, Rosemary and Time are cracking a floral code.

Or at least they hope to.