Original subtitles

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does a love kiss stay in my memory?

Shall I wait for Mrs. Potter, Mr. Salter?

Not tonight, David.

Not tonight.

Now, watch where you... That's it.

Oh.

That's the night.

Oh,

thank you for a lovely evening.

My pleasure, Rosie.

Rosie!

Rosie!

Rosie!

What have you done, Mr Thorpe? Never mind, set him down.

Brayton would have had ten blocks lined up for this by now.

How is she? Well, still unconscious, but I've seen the x -rays. We don't think

there's a problem.

She's in safe hands.

Can I see her yet?

No, but I've had a word with her sister and you can wait in her office. The

nurse will take you through.

This way.

Have you double -checked that there's nothing missing, Mr Salter? Nothing.

What's coming home would have scared him off.

And you definitely didn't get a look at him?

No, I hadn't put the light on.

It was the end of a romantic evening.

Then all of a sudden, there he was.

Was he just trying his luck, do you think? Or do you have things of value in

house?

That should be in the bank, Mr Thalter. Don't trust him. Is it not a cut, you

man? That might be what the fellow was after.

Aye, well, didn't get it, did he?

So, David, who are you going to vote for as our parish representative, Oscar

Blaketon or Joyce Jowett?

Well, since Mr Vernon's not here to advise me, I thought I would vote for

of them, so don't offend anyone.

I can advise you.

Only one of them can represent us on the district council.

Let's make it blatant.

You're still upset, aren't you, Mr Scripps?

Upset? Livid.

She's livid, Mr Bellamy.

Ah, well, you would be, wouldn't you? With public facilities on your doorstep.

Let's call the spade a spade, shall we?

Toilets. Right outside my garage if Jowett has her way.

Cornerstone of her campaign, it says in the paper. Hello, mate.

David.

He's really angry.

Oh, aye? How can you tell?

It doesn't matter, David.

You know when you dropped Mrs Brother off last night?

Did you notice anything out of the ordinary?

I've been racking my brains, but there's nothing there.

I was thinking of something like a car park nearby.

Strangers inside, maybe.

All right.

No.

Right.

I'll be... Stay cuttural.

The answer's no.

Hey, you jumped the gun there, Mrs Stanton.

That cabinet we talked about last year.

The one you offered me two quid for?

Aye, well, I didn't know what I was looking at then. And I do now.

And I think it's worth serious money.

I mean that.

You'd better come in.

Sorry, I must have been thinking of someone else.

It's not Duxley.

What are you, 33 quid?

Out. Is this some sort of game you play? You've just asked me in here.

You waggled your way in and stopped scanning the room. Nothing's for sale.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

Tenner. For the table, the chairs and the cabinet. You're not getting a better

offer than that. I'll not be asking for one.

You mean you're flush?

A woman living on her own up here, scratching living from a few hens and a

couple of sheep.

My husband left me very well provided for. And get your hands off that.

Worth a few bob, that.

Melt it down.

I'll be back, Mrs Danton.

Sooner or later, everyone does a deal with Harvey Cottrell.

Nice offer.

Out.

Fiver? Out.

Ladies, my village plan is meant for you, the guardians of future

Is it fair that our children must wait for buses in Drafty Doorways?

Is it fair that our toddlers be denied a state -of -the -art climbing frame?

Slow right down.

Is it fair that between home and school, there is no toilet?

We've gone behind the edge for a thousand years. Why couldn't we make it

business? There you have it, ladies.

Oscar Blaketon, custodian of the park.

Or Joyce Jowett.

Vanguard of the future.

Now I go cleaning windows to earn an honest bob.

For a nosy pastor, it's an interesting job.

Now it's a job that just suits me. A window cleaner you would be if you can

what I can see. When I'm cleaning windows... Morning, Mr. Blaketon.

What job's that, then?

Are you going to have to vote now, Reggie? Yeah. Then you should know who

vote for.

When I'm cleaning windows...

Ashfordly Police.

It's John Salter.

He's been back again.

Turn me over.

Assaulted you?

No. Nicked a mirror.

Right, well, we'll be up there as soon as we can.

John Salter.

He's had a mirror naked.

We out, Mr Salter.

Two hours at the most.

Any idea how they got in?

Window in the pantry.

In Blaketon's day, this wouldn't have happened.

Blaketon had his finger on the pulse.

And the mirror.

Is that all that's been taken?

What do you mean, that's all?

It didn't look anything special, but it's been in the family for years.

What I meant was... Safe and sound. Thank you.

Well, at least Mrs Jowett's got some policy.

Well, so have I, to do nothing.

Maintain the status quo.

That's right, Bernie, the status quo. That's what people around here want, and

that's what they'll get from me. There's far too much progress these days.

That'll be two and six, please, Gina.

What's going on?

Affairs of state, Reggie.

Shall we have toilets in the high street or not?

So long as we've got windows that need cleaning.

There are.

What a canvassing tonight, Oscar.

Yeah, well, persuading them is one thing, Bernie. Getting them down here to

vote, that's another.

Hey, we could always fetch them in a taxi.

If you're going to start making suggestions, David, actually, that's a

idea.

What brings you to the frozen north, gentlemen?

Ah, democracy, Mrs Stanton.

Oscar Blaketon, the man for the job.

Oh, aye, this election.

I might just pop down if the weather rolls.

Oh, the weather doesn't matter, Mrs Stanton, is it? I can fetch you and

you back afterwards.

Ah, so long as I vote Blaketon, I suppose.

After that, I can go a whiffle. Not at all, Mrs Stanton. I'll be happy to put

any requests you might have to the district council.

Oh, right, well, I'd like someone flogged.

To within an inch of their life.

Who? Whoever pinched my Greek fella.

There he was.

Striking a manly pose.

Within the bounds of decency, of course.

I came down this morning and he'd gone.

Well, have you reported this?

I've no phone.

And they don't respond to smoke signals at Ashfordly Police Station.

We could get one of the officers to call in, maybe, take some details.

Hmm.

So long as I vote Blaketon the man for the job.

Well, you seem to be a lady who knows her own mind.

Aye.

And I wouldn't vote for jumped -up Joyce in a million years.

John Thorpe has always been like that, Phil.

Full of charm, you mean? Well, yeah.

Underneath that gruff exterior, he really is a... Who wants a brandy?

I'll get it for you.

It is odd, though. I mean, someone just taking a mirror and nothing else.

And was it valuable?

I don't know. I'll tell you what I don't like. Whoever it is coming back after

what he did to Rose... He means business.

Well, it wouldn't have happened in Blaketon's day.

Blaketon had his finger on the pulse.

ever noticed.

Hey, Trish, where did you get these postcards?

Oh, my grandad gave them to me. They were sent to him in the First World War.

Those are just the best. There's a couple of hundred here.

Oh, let's have a look.

Here you go.

Jenny. Oh, no thanks.

No sight of an iron father in those days.

Is she?

That keep fit woman off the television.

Half my patients wouldn't be patients if they took her advice. A little bit of

exercise.

Well, if that's true, we should do something about it.

I know that look, Jenny. What are you thinking?

Prevention's better than cure. You're always saying it.

So, let's get them leaping about.

Globes as well.

About time and all.

Oh. You've had me worried, Rosie.

Where am I?

You're in Ashfordly Hospital.

Why?

What's happened?

Nurse!

Ah.

Ah, Merton. Oscar.

I was up at High Holland yesterday doing a spot of canvassing. There's a lady up

there by the name of Mrs Stanton. She's had a bronze statue nicked.

And I told her that one of your lads would be more than happy to call in and

take a few details.

Did you indeed?

Yes. And while I'm here, I thought I would appraise you of this.

Ah, the famous village plan.

Certainly is, and it's in flagrant breach of election rules.

It should read, printed and published by Joyce Jowett, followed by her address.

And it doesn't.

The end is nigh, gentlemen.

Flippance is all very well, Sergeant. This is a matter for the returning

officer, Oscar, not the police, as you well know.

You know, you could have ploughed some of these windows if they were that

That'll break them.

I won't be serious.

Cheers, mate.

Ta.

No biscuits?

Oh, no, we're out.

Don't worry.

Just as well I brought me own.

That's a nice camera.

Aye.

I don't take a good photograph.

Mr Vernon says that I'm only for those unfortunate people.

Whereas he takes a brilliant one, I suppose.

Yeah, how did you know?

Yeah, well, it's just a matter of getting the subject at the right moment.

That's a like.

I'll tell you what.

Go stand over there.

David!

See what I mean?

Oh, but I'd like you to have got the side of my head then.

And my mouth wouldn't have been open because I was going to go, what?

Yeah, but caught in the moment.

Natural.

Yeah, but I wouldn't... All right.

Look at me. Pull on.

We could try not looking as if you're going to be hung, David.

Crack your face a bit.

What's the funniest thing you've seen?

Do you mean like ever or just lately?

Ever would include just lately.

Let it come into your mind.

Yeah, I've got it right.

Well, smile about it then.

David, just say cheese, mate.

Cheese, mate.

Vote for him now, I suppose.

Who, Oscar?

Kept his word.

Sent a policeman.

Made of bronze, you say?

Yeah. But somehow very lifelike.

I'd grown quite fond of him in an odd sort of a way.

Any idea how much he... how much it was worth?

No idea.

Come to think of it...

You had a look of yourself to him.

Only, uh, smaller, of course.

Uh, can you think of anybody who might have taken him, uh, it?

Well, Harvey Popple would be my first choice.

What, Harvey the furniture boy? He were round here the other day, conned his way

in, then offered me peanuts for some things.

Eyes everywhere, of course.

And he showed an interest in, in the Greek fella?

Mm.

Talked about, er, melting him down.

Would you like to stay for a cup of coffee?

Er, no.

No, no, no, thanks all the same. I'd, er... I'd best get back.

Morning, Mr Scripps.

I'd like a taxi, please.

David.

The very same?

She wants a taxi.

It is not too much trouble.

Mind she doesn't winkle things out of you.

What do you mean?

Preferably today.

Where to, Mrs. Jowett?

First up, some leafleting.

First?

What do you mean there's got to be... How's Mr Blaketon's campaign going?

Oh, uh... I don't know.

The chap who assaulted you, Mrs Protheroe, I don't suppose you got a

either? Oh, I'm afraid not, no.

Was it the mirror he was after?

I really don't know.

Well, it wasn't just any old mirror.

I mean, it was a cushion mirror.

Jacobean.

Hey, John, you remember that man that came round about a couple of weeks ago?

He was trying to buy things off you.

He got really nasty when you told him to put... He got really nasty when you

sent him packing. So he did.

Harvey Cottrell.

That's him.

Yes, sir?

Wait for me here, David.

Unless you'd like to come and help.

Oh, well, no, maybe not.

Good morning.

Hope I can count on your vote on Thursday the 8th. Here we go.

Thursday the 8th.

Voting.

There you are, sir. One for you.

Come in.

I take it we'll both be at this keep -fit class of Jenny Latimer?

Tell you what, Parch, we will if you will.

And I will if Ventress will.

So that's that taken care of.

Right, gentlemen, what news?

Harvey Cottrell, furniture dealer known to us. Armed and entering with intent,

Whitby 1959.

He's been sniffing around John Salters and Miffy Stansons within the last ten

days. Right.

Go have a word.

Cotterham. Beasley Bradley, Beasley Bellamy, Ashfordly Police.

New furniture for the Nick, lad. I've got all sorts inside.

Oh, we're looking for something special.

Bronze statue.

Greek fella.

We believe you've had a blitz just recently in the Aidensfield area.

if I'm wrong. Isn't the form you make an offer and the punters say yes or no?

Yeah, what happens if they say no and mean it?

Do you go back later and help yourself?

You see...

It's not just a Greek statue we're looking for, Mr Cottrell.

An elderly couple have been assaulted, and so far, you're the common factor to

both crimes.

You've outstayed your welcome.

Even so, we'd still like to look around.

I'm not finding any items here unaccounted for.

I've got names, addresses, prices, paid the lot.

I don't understand the female mind sometimes, David.

Women died to get us the vote.

There's Mrs Hargreaves saying she lives too far away to make it worth turning

out. Oh, we've cracked that one, Mrs Jowett.

Oh, really?

How?

Phil.

And then to your right.

And to your left.

And back up again. And look down at your toe and feel that stretch.

And then back up to your right.

And to your left.

What a bloke inside.

She's a good looking lass, that Susie Fuller.

Checking the premises, gentlemen.

And reach that over.

That's lovely.

And back.

And the other arm.

And reach over.

And then just to finish off, we'll just sway very gently from side to side.

Thank you very much, ladies.

Could I have a moment of your lady's time?

This is what it's all about, ladies.

Banding together to achieve things.

In America, they call it women's liberation.

Well, I'm not saying we plan to rule the world, yet, but I do say we're long

overdue certain public facilities that'll make our lives easier.

Now, I want you to take home a copy of my village plan, reflect on it, and vote

for Joyce Jowett.

And I promise you, women's voices will be the loudest to ring in this parish.

There we are, then.

Sorry I left my money at home, Alf.

Forgetful these days.

Talking about money, that wad that you've got stuffed under the

All right.

All round the neck, is it?

You know that Mrs Ventress and me are very big fans of building societies.

They pay 5%, you know. Since when have you lot been my financial advisors?

Since deciding that your life savings are a crime waiting to happen.

Well, I'll thank you to mind your own interference.

I'll get you a drink.

Ah, how did it go, then?

Well, they've all survived, I think.

I'll have four half -a -bitters and an orange juice, please.

All right. We had a visit from Mrs Jowett, Oscar.

She gave us a speech.

She what?

She didn't join in, I noticed.

She used the words women's liberation, Oscar.

Women's liberation?

In Aidensfield?

And what have you lot done about Harvey Cottrell?

Well, we've spoken to him. I want him more than spoken to. I want to know why

did what he did.

Mr Salton. My friend gets a bang on the head that could have killed her and you

lot do nothing.

Ah, Miss Latimer. Did my wife turn up at the class? She did indeed.

Oh, I'd best be going. I said I wouldn't be turning out.

Jenny, what are you having? A little orange juice, please. Another orange

please. And that... Trisha.

Gina, call an ambulance.

Trisha.

What's going on?

I've been to the hospital and they said you've discharged yourself.

Mike, I fainted, that's all.

Anyway, they said it's all right as long as I get checked over by a

cardiologist. A cardiologist? Look, can we talk about this later, please?

What's wrong?

I was just about to call the station.

Mike, I've been burgled.

Ruthie!

What are you doing?

Your windows, Mrs Joe. From the inside out?

No. No, of course not.

I thought I'd try doing the insides. The door was open.

Where's your bucket?

I was looking for you.

Well, now you've found me.

Sit down there.

Sit down.

Do not move a muscle.

Postcards? Well, collected items, Sarge. All from the First World War.

The sort of thing Harvey Cottrell would be interested in.

Sorry, Sarge. Mrs Jowett's on the phone.

Tell her I'll be voting for Blaketon.

On second thoughts, don't. We'll never get rid of her. Well, we may not yet.

She's made a citizen's arrest.

Reggie Turnbull, the window cleaner.

It's a simple enough question, Reggie.

What are you doing in Mrs Jowett's living room?

I was about to clean the inside of the windows.

Do we look stupid, Reggie? How did you get in the house?

Well, the door was open.

What's this?

You've been taking photographs in my house.

Probably of yours, is it, then?

Photography? I think it's about time we took a trip down to the station.

Don't you, Reggie?

So, Reggie, since when did you need a camera to clean windows?

I told you.

Don't be a mind.

What, specialised in interior, do you?

No.

Wildlife, mostly.

Really?

So if we have this film developed, what will we find?

Birds and bees?

Or something more than the thing?

And while I'm here, Constable, I'd like to report several breaches of the

Representation of the People Act 1949.

Do you know it?

Well... It's not up here, along with the illegal parking and that sort of thing,

but far away.

I have it from a very reliable source that my opponent, Mr Blaketon, has hired

the services of a local taxi firm to run his voters to the poll.

Good grief.

Well, if money changes hands, it's downright illegal, and he's using

premises as committee rooms.

Well, for all I know, he could be treating people in there just to get the

votes.

Would you pass that on to Sergeant Merton and ask him to do something about

I'll pass it on straight away.

Thank you, Constable.

Elections. They bring out the best in people.

Well? Well what?

Have you brought Harvey Cottrell in yet? Now, John, just listen. No, you listen.

Harvey Cottrell stands out like a sore thumb.

Offered me five bob for that mirror. I put a flea in his ear, he comes back and

nicks it. How much simpler can it be?

Mr Salter, your mirror isn't at his premises.

So there's no reason to bring him in.

He won't have it on display for you lot, will he?

Honestly, what a job. Don't do it yourself.

Now, just a second, John.

gentlemen the hustle and bustle of 20th century life is all very well in its

place but that place is not Aidensfield Aidensfield is a place of peace

and tranquility and I am the man to ensure that that peace and tranquility

remains I am the man for the job thank you very

much

That sounded good.

Yeah, they tell me it's a close -run thing. I mean, me versus Joyce Cowart.

I find that very hard to believe.

Don't you?

You should have let me know. I could have done some lunch.

Well, I'm not that hungry.

I only came here tonight, you.

I thought you might have done.

Well, then, Teth, you made arrangements?

No, no, I haven't.

Mike, I don't really need to.

Trish, you promised.

I know what's wrong.

I've known for 20 years.

When I was a kid, I had rheumatic fever. I'll explain another time, but it left

me with something called mitral stenosis.

Which is?

A narrowing of a heart valve.

And you went out and did a fitness class?

I've had it for years. It's never bothered me before.

I must have overdone it, that's all.

Look, it's just one of those things. It's nothing to worry about. I'll

live till I'm 150.

Happy now?

Well, it depends on what you'd be like. A sweet old lady or a raging battle axe.

Well, that'll be for you to find out.

Now, about that lunch.

Is there any news of my postcard?

No. Afraid not.

Trish?

Who cleans your window?

Reggie Turnbull. Why?

No reason.

Take me and Miss Spade to Harvey Cottrell's yard.

I don't think you should just drive, David.

Ashfordly Police Station.

Oh, yes, Bernie.

Really?

Thanks for letting us know.

John Salter has just commandeered David and his taxi.

He's armed with a spade.

My guess is he's on his way to Harvey Cockrell's place.

So how do you play, Mrs. Salter?

No, you wait in the taxi.

Change your mind, Mr. Salter.

Oh, no, hang on a minute.

You're coming with me, Harvey.

Down the neck.

Taxi's waiting.

You want to bet?

You can't just come in here like some mad ax man, you know.

First you're going to pay for hiding Rosie.

And then you're going to tell the police where my mirror is.

Come back for God's sake.

Where's Mr. Salter?

Oh, he's in there, Mr. Donnelly.

Get out of here, you cuckoo!

Mr. Salter, can't you?

You've got to pay for what you've done!

Tell them, man!

Tell them!

Salter!

I don't want to be a devil! Get out, cuckoo!

Let me get paid, Mr. Salter.

And count your lucky stars that Harvey Cotter is not pressing charges.

Aye, well, says it all, eh?

He's guilty as sin. Just leave it to us if he's guilty or not.

What were you doing with that spade? You going to dig a trench in the man? I

don't know why you lot have suddenly taken against me.

I want this joker to do time.

Look, I've told you, John.

Leave it to us. You've done enough damage.

I'm sorry.

What can I say?

Thanks, Alf.

Don't mention it.

I'll tell you what you can do, if you really want to make amends.

Why don't you and that money you keep under the floorboards take a walk down

the building society first thing in the morning?

30.

Have a seat.

Your money's flat, isn't it?

I think you'd be pleasantly surprised.

It's been a bit difficult this last couple of days, Mr Wilkins.

Oh, eh?

Not got so much done.

Well, you know how it goes.

No.

I don't.

Mr Wilkins, I think I'd like to give you a rest for a while.

It's a bit awkward, that, Reggie.

I've got bills to pay.

Customers waiting.

But you never said it'd come to knocking old people around.

You heard about that, then, did you?

Does it get better every time it's told?

Have I killed her yet?

Well, no.

She slipped, Reggie.

It was unfortunate.

I still got mirror in the end, though.

Aye, well...

I'd like to call it a day, Mr Wilkins.

Facts are life, Reggie.

One.

Aidensfield's a very classy area.

And I'm not done with it yet.

Two.

It's your fingerprints on them photos as well as mine.

And I've kept every one of them.

You're in this till I say otherwise.

Three.

It ain't just pensioners I clobber.

Sir.

This is what he calls wildlife, eh?

Well, what did you hope to find?

They all look pretty innocent to me.

Well, Reggie cleans windows for almost everyone in the village. He does

Tricia's, John Falter's. He probably does Alice Stanton's as well.

In each case, only one specific item has been stolen, which indicates that the

thief knows exactly what he or she is after.

Go on.

Well, if Reggie does clean windows for Alice Stanton...

Well, then that links him to all the houses that have been burgled, which

explain what he's doing in Joyce Jowett's house with the camera.

Perhaps you should pay Alice Stanton another visit.

Good luck, Mike.

Funny lady.

Morning,

Mrs

Stanton. PT Mike Bradley, Aidensfield Police.

Hello. What a lovely surprise.

Odd question for you.

Your windows.

Does Reggie Turnbull clean them?

Yeah, he does.

Nice lad.

Comes once a fortnight.

He likes my homemade biscuits.

I was just about to make a cup of coffee.

No, really.

Mustache. Thanks. We'll be in touch.

I'm sorry, Gina, really.

I didn't know where else to go.

My mum said Mr Blake didn't... Sit down, love.

Well.

I think Dr Somerville should take a look at that face of yours, Reggie.

Oh, please.

Not there.

Come on, then.

What's all this about?

I met this fella last year.

I was doing the windows at Erindale Shops there and he comes out of one of

Says, can we have a chat?

If I'd said no, none of this would have happened.

Well, obviously you didn't.

What was his name?

Peter Wilkins.

Takes me to a cafe, buys me breakfast.

Seemed really nice.

Not making excuses, but that's what he did.

Do I do a lot of houses, he asks.

Posh houses.

Houses with stuff in them that's worth a few bob, of course I do.

And he asks you to keep a record of what the people have?

Not exactly.

He bought me a camera that morning.

Said any chance they had to take a few snaps of people's rooms.

So he'd go through the photos, pick and choose, and then rob the places?

The cheek of it.

Why the cuts and bruises?

I told him this morning I wanted out.

I mean, I never thought people would end up in hospital.

Mrs Prothero, she's dead nice.

He says I'm in it till he says.

Hold that on there.

Be back in a sec.

What am I going to do, Mr Blaketon?

Well, there's only one thing you can do, Reggie. We'll patch you up and take you

to the police station.

You can tell them your story.

You've had the guts to tell me.

You'll have the guts to tell them.

Any luck, Mike?

No, Sarge.

Reggie's not home and his mum doesn't know when he's going to be back. It's

difficult. They've got no real evidence.

No.

Ah.

Afternoon, Merton.

Oscar. This lad here's got a tale to tell.

If you'd told us this the other day, Reggie, you'd fill up a face left.

Give us Peter's address, Reggie.

Greendale Mill.

Herondale Road.

I know.

And I'm not the only one he's got.

I think there's like a team of us in different villages.

Delivery people and stuff.

People with access.

Who's he selling on to?

Someone in Dublin.

He's always saying they can't get enough of it.

Dublin?

How's he get it there?

There's a cargo boat. Leaves Whitby once a fortnight.

Does a round trip of the Irish ports.

What's going to happen to me?

You'll pay for what you've done, Reggie.

But it seems one or two will speak up for you when the time comes. Oscar

Blaketon included.

Put them in a cell, PC Bellamy, till we decide what to do with them.

Come on, you two, cheer up. Not the end of the world.

What have you got to be so cheerful about?

By the end of the evening, Joyce Jowett will be history, and we'll be

celebrating a bright future.

I'm not so sure about that.

Everything's staying the same.

It's going to be a close thing.

What do you mean, close?

Well... Not everybody's that keen on you, Mr Blaketon.

I mean, Mrs Butterworth said, I'm not going to vote for that. The polling

station closes in a couple of hours.

Oh, aye?

Mrs Butterworth said what?

Better get off and collect the rest of the support.

Ernie.

Oh,

Sarge, I've made some phone calls about these burglaries. We aren't the only

station with burglaries outstanding, all with the same M .O.

A specific piece taken in each case.

Same sort of stuff?

Even another bronze statue.

Good work, Mike.

That's a look at HQ.

We'll finish the job tomorrow.

In the meantime, better cast your vote down at the village hall, just in case

there's been a riot.

Right, sir.

Thank

you

very much.

I'll pay your balance in 15 minutes.

All done then?

Yep. Another blow for women's liberation.

Have you seen David? He should be here by now. Voting ends in ten minutes. Oh,

don't worry. I'm sure he'll turn up. You know, David, ever reliable.

Oh, very funny.

Yeah. Well, get your vote in, at least.

Here you go.

Bensfield Arms. Gina, it's me. I'm at Mr Salter's house. Hi, David.

What on earth are you doing there? I'm taking him and three others to the

election, but we've had a puncture.

I'm going to tell Mr. Blakes and Mr. Scripps. Because we're going to be there

nine o 'clock. Otherwise, Mr. Blakes, he won't win. So, Mr. Scripps... Calm

down, David.

Now, can you get Mr. Salter to help you out with the tyre? Yeah, he's already

doing that. Don't panic.

I'm sure Oscar will understand you've tried your best.

I'll tell him.

Ta -ra.

Right, bye.

Bye.

Come on, folks. We're off.

Talk to you soon, sir.

You'd better get in there quick. I think it might be too late.

I'll phone you back.

Mr. Wilkins, I have a warrant to search these premises.

Oh.

May I have the pleasure of this dance?

Are you sure?

Now, careful.

Careful.

In you go.

Oh, dear.

Right.

Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted the other night?

I don't know.

Where were you?

I was about to ask you on a cruise. Oh, don't be so daft.

No, really, I was.

Thought round here reckon I've got long pockets.

They're right.

But I'd spend all I've got on you, Rosie.

How do you fancy it? You and me, dancing the night away. Oh, it'd be smashing.

What are we going to use for money?

I'm a big fan

of the building society.

Five percent they give.

The Caribbean, I thought.

Postcards, Sarge. Donald McGill. They belong to Trisha Somerville.

I'll put them down to her, then.

And this fella, Bellamy, belongs, I believe, to your friend, Michael Dunton.

Doesn't look a bit like me.

I felt sorry for young Reggie. Got him mixed up and all that.

What are you going to do with him now, then?

Oh, that's for the courts to decide, Oscar. But we've got a good wording for

him. Oh, it's a shame. He's such a nice lad.

He was obviously terrified of that Wilkins bloke.

Hey, girl.

What can I get you? A gin and tonic for me and whatever Trish is having. I will

have orange juice. Not you as well. I thought I was supposed to be the doctor

around here.

Don't worry, Gina.

I'll be keeping a close eye on her.

Well, you all don't worry and I'm fine, aren't I? Nevertheless, I think you

should go easy on the keep fit for a while.

In any case, I think we might have to find new premises.

Joyce Jout said she saw two dodgy characters hanging around outside.

Oh, congratulations, councillor.

Ah, yes, thanks, Alf. Even if it was by just four votes.

Yes, well, those four votes were very crucial, weren't they, David?

Oh, yes, Mr Blaketon.

So, what are you folks having?

The drinks are on me.

Oh, I'll have a pie, counsellor.

Same again.

Not me.