Original subtitles

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does a love kiss stay in my memory?

Nicholas, why the police house?

It wasn't the police house.

It was the office.

Yeah? They never inspected it before.

It's just Craddock being a... Look at that.

Those were the days, eh?

Well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to remind you. That's all right.

I'm sorry.

Phil, stop apologising.

Yeah, I know, but... It's embarrassing, isn't it? Sorry. All right, enough.

No, thanks.

All right.

Yeah, nice touch.

The inspector will love it.

There's no need to mark.

You check around the back.

Anything?

Not a thing.

Have a good day, Debbie. I'll see you later, love. Bye -bye. Thanks, Dad. Bye.

I was

hoping you were going to give me a hand delivering these taxi leaflets.

I can't. I've got Mrs Webb.

Well, get the tea on when you get in tonight.

I'm going to be shattered.

Negative.

I'm not pregnant.

No, I didn't think you were.

The important thing now is not to have another scare.

Dr. Timmerby, I want to go on the pill.

I can't go through all this again. I need to be certain.

Deborah, you're very young for... I'm not.

I'm 16.

Please, I've thought it all through.

Look, I appreciate you've had a bit of a shock, but I really don't recommend the

pill for girls of your age.

But it's what I really, really want. Your body's still developing.

I know, but it's better to be safe.

Isn't it a bit early to be getting into a serious relationship?

Not if you love each other.

But you're young, you'll change.

Everyone does at your age.

In a few months' time, you might not even like each other.

We will.

OK.

But why sleep together?

Isn't that not best kept for later, when you're more mature?

It's a very big step going on the pill.

What about other methods of birth control?

No, the pill's the only one that can be certain. Everybody says that.

Look, I'm trying to be sensible, Dr Somerby.

What about your parents?

My parents? I'd need to discuss it with them, obviously.

No. Deborah. No.

They'd kill me.

If you're going to tell them I'm going, I'll get the pill somewhere else.

Or I just won't bother. We'll run away together and get married. Come on, sit

down. Let's talk this through calmly, shall we?

Without you holding a gun to my head.

Now, for a start, I can't prescribe the pill myself.

All I can do is refer you to a family planning clinic.

OK. Refer me, then.

Right, gentlemen.

Today is Tuesday.

Her Majesty's inspector will be here at 2pm on Friday.

Three days to go, and this place is a shambles.

Look at these walls.

Look at the dust. Look at these deaths. Look at yourselves.

Not an edifying sight.

No, Sarge. So I want all the paperwork brought up to date and the spring

from top to bottom.

Yes, Sarge. Uniforms cleaned, haircut, boots polished.

Yes, Sarge. And, Vantrose, I do not want any faggash or the slightest whiff of

hard -boiled egg.

No, Sarge.

At ease.

But what about the brick incident, Sarge?

There's no time for that, Bradley. It's all hands on deck.

Oh, yeah, but... It's Bradley.

Kids fooling about.

Great. I get a breakthrough moment when he's worried about Hank.

On second thoughts, we'll give this whole place a new coat of paint.

So, Deb, how was school today?

All right, thanks, Dad.

Have you got my history estate back yet?

Yes.

And? Oh, put him out of his misery.

Well, I'm pleased to say you got an A. Oh, well done, Daddy.

There you are, you see.

Pass your plate, dear.

What did you have for lunch today? Oh, hold on.

If it's Tuesday, it'll be, um, shepherd's pie and crumble.

Am I right? How does he always know?

I don't know.

Cake, dear.

No, thanks. I ought to get on with my homework.

If you want any help, you know where to come.

It's only French.

How's it going?

Oh, don't ask. If he wants his car so blooming clean, why don't he do it

himself?

I tell you, he's going over the top with this inspection, Palavri.

Sorry, Sarge.

Rather than giving us the benefit of your singularly unimportant opinions,

Bellamy, perhaps you'd get this car properly cleaned.

Thank you.

I am shattered.

I must have dribbled 200 miles up and down that coast.

Bridlington to Saltburn. Every hotel, theatre, railway station, golf clubs.

Where's my tea?

I want to just go in myself. I'll get it in a minute.

Oh, never mind. I'll do it myself.

What have you done with that chicken?

Sorry? A cold chicken.

What? I haven't stopped all day. I come in starving hungry and you've eaten all

the grub up. I haven't.

David, I haven't touched anything.

So the chicken just left the plate on its own, did it, and flew away.

Well, perhaps Alpha ate it. And perhaps he ate the bread as well. Took it out

the bin and made a nice chicken sandwich.

I don't know.

Oh, look. David, I know I'm out a lot at the moment. I know you get lonely, but

you mustn't get greedy.

What's this?

Oh.

Good.

And, uh, this is the window that got broken.

Right. Any other similar problems?

No, Sarge. Like you said, just... Probably kids.

Thank you.

Full marks, Bradley.

Keep it that way till Friday.

Yes, Josh. And try not to be nervous.

If you're well prepared, there's absolutely no need to panic. No, sir.

Right.

It's an extremely serious situation.

Somebody is trying to make us look foolish in the eyes of the inspector.

You think that someone's got a special grudge in for the police, Sarge? Quite

possibly, Ventress, yes.

And what about the breakthrough in my window?

It's all part of it, Bradley.

All part of creating an air of disorganisation.

You've been on to HQ about a replacement car?

Yes, Sarge. They're sending one over. Good. And is Scripps confident about

getting my car back on the road by Friday? I think so. Right, let's get on

it. Bellamy and Bradley, you get over to Aidensfield.

Ventress, you and I will sift through the records.

Let's make this top priority and get this culprit before there's any more

trouble. But I'm in the middle of painting this office, Sarge. Oh, it's

of time for that, Ventress.

You can come in early tomorrow.

Well, he's changed his tune.

Yesterday, it was just kids.

Yeah, well, it's his car now.

Not my window.

Nearly died.

That woman in the weight room gave you a really funny look.

No, she didn't. She did. Especially in that uniform.

Lots of girls our age take the pill, Jenny. Stop making such a big deal about

it. Let's have a look, then.

Not here.

Oh, come on.

Watch out.

Hey, Debs, do you think my doctor will let me up some?

You have to be going steady first.

And, of course, it depends on your doctor.

I mean, Dr. Summerby's really nice and young, but yours might not be.

Yes. Wait, so?

What about the replacement car? It's the idea using it.

And the Panda?

Bellamy's using it all the time at the present on this vandalism case.

What about the minivan?

Oh, that's off the road as well.

Well, get on to Bradley. Tell him to hurry Scripps up. I can't drive around

this thing.

It's no good you keeping on coming in and asking, Michael. I can't do it any

faster than I am.

It's just that Craddock's got nothing else to drive but an old black Mariah.

It's not my fault, is it?

Provided I can get the paint, it'll be done by Friday.

Well, do what you can.

Oh, Mike, have you had one of these?

Yeah, about six.

Hey, don't laugh. You might need this one day.

Right, that's another 50 delivered.

Any calls?

No.

Are you sure?

The flies have only been out a day or so. Give it a chance.

Right, I'm off.

I thought you were going to give me a hand with this.

No, Bernard.

I'm going home to put my feet up in front of the fire.

All right.

What? No problem about your mum and dad, not more?

No.

Nothing about us not being married, then?

No. I suppose Dr Somerby must have explained in a letter.

I wish I could have come with you.

I wish you could, too.

Hey, you should have heard me with that Dr Somerby.

I told her if I couldn't have the pill, then we'd run away and get married.

Right.

And what do you know?

I'd run away tomorrow.

More about school.

I couldn't care less about it. Well, you should. You're lucky to be there.

Sorry.

I can tell you I'd still be going if my dad hadn't died.

I won't be in this crummy job.

What did he die of?

Your dad?

I don't want to go into it.

Everything changed afterwards.

Everything.

He worked on his biggest day.

We had this really nice place to live.

Our cottage.

We loved it.

We all loved it.

Kicked us out double quick.

And when he'd gone, he went with the job.

And then you came to Aidensfield?

Yeah.

You hate it, don't you?

I hate everything about it.

Except you.

Good.

I quite like you I quite like you too

So, his car's still in the garage, is it? He's happy to drive a black Mariah.

Well, you best find out who it is half and quick before they vandalise his

racing bike as well.

And his ballroom dancing pumps.

Well, we're doing that. We're going through everything.

Recent arrests, recent prisoner releases.

Well, have you found anything?

No.

When's the inspection?

Friday. Oh, dear.

What's up, David?

Oh, nothing.

Come on.

Well, apart from I can't go home.

Why not?

Well, because Mr. Vernon's being horrible to me. He keeps accusing me

stuff.

Like what?

I'm not saying.

What have you been doing to David?

Is he in the right mood?

I'll give him moods.

Greasy washing up left in the sink.

Eating eight eggs at one go. Not to mention scuffing all the bacon. All that

can just about take.

But what I will not stand for is you nicking all me licorice allsauce.

I'm not going to listen to this. I'm just not.

Well, I've never seen David like that.

You've really upset him.

He's upset me and all.

Talk to him, Vernon.

I mean, David looks up to you.

Look, I'm sure you both feel much better if you went home and patched things up.

Aye, well, maybe I will.

But pour us a pint first, will you, Gina?

Sorry, lad.

Maybe I did speak a little in haste.

I don't want to talk to you.

I'll go and get me bath.

What's this?

What? This.

Well, it's her.

In our bath.

Well, it's not mine. Well, it's not mine either. It's girls.

There's been a girl in our bath.

You've been entertaining ladies while I've been out, haven't you, David?

Look, I don't mind you having lady friends. I just wish you'd ask, that's

Now what?

I'm going back to my mum.

Was anything taken?

Just two bottles of whiskey.

Right. Well, the big question is motive. If we could find out why he was doing

this. Yes, I think you can leave that to us, Mr. Whitton. I'm not leaving it to

anyone, Sergeant.

As a parish counsellor, I intend to remain very much involved.

Right. I've had some very worried phone calls this morning. No one seems to know

where this maniac will strike next.

Point taken, Mr. Blaketon.

Come on, Bradley.

Oh, needless to say, Oscar, don't touch anything until the fingerprints boys

have been round.

Jenny! Breakfast time!

Hey, how

do

you think Mike is?

Well, it's hard to say.

Burying himself in work strikes me.

Oh, yeah. It's like an escape, I suppose.

I think he still feels pretty awful.

Still, maybe it's for the best.

Yeah?

Well, Jackie, she's not really my sort of woman.

All that running round in a suit, carrying a briefcase. Yeah. Too sharp by

Scared the living daylights out of me.

Yeah, but Alf, he loved her, though, didn't he?

He probably still does.

I thought she loved him.

Physical attraction.

Soon wears off.

Oh, yeah?

Speaking from personal experience, are you, Alf?

Do you know, I quite like this colour.

Doesn't match your boots, though, Alf.

Penny for him, David.

Sorry?

Something on your mind?

Oh, no.

Or should that be someone?

Nope. Not even a little lady with long brown hair?

No.

That's all right.

Vernon's told me all about it. No need to be ashamed. Time you started

If she's having baths at your place... Stop it!

Come on, David.

There's no need to go to your mum's. I've forgiven you.

And there's no need at all for all that whiskey.

It's a very nice thought and very much appreciated.

Hey, don't overdo it. You'll be down for the bare metal.

I don't have a game of any whisky.

Well, at least I don't think I did.

Michelle, my belle.

These are words that go together well, my Michelle.

Mmm, Michelle, my belle.

We need

solutions

and we need them fast.

This is getting out of hand.

Tell Bellamy I want house -to -house inquiries.

And get my car back from Spritz.

Gina?

David, you made me jump.

I think I'm going mad.

Come in, then.

Don't worry, Mike. It'll be done by Friday, no problem.

Yeah, but Craddock's desperate.

Look, is there any chance of getting it to him today?

Tomorrow would be better.

I mean, give the paint time to dry.

David's putting it on as we speak.

I mean, if for any reason it isn't ready... You could always use Vernon in

Wyvern.

Bernie, the Wyvern's out of the question.

So is this unless that paint arrives.

Well, there are things I've gone missing, like the chicken and the socks

licorice autos, but, I mean, that doesn't mean I've got a girlfriend,

does it?

Um, no, but... And it could have been Alfred, I don't care what he says.

Well, Alfred wouldn't have eaten the socks, but, I mean, girls don't even

whisky. About as if there was a girl, which there wasn't.

I'm sorry, David, but who are we talking about?

The other girl.

What girl?

The one that Mr Vernon said was in the bath.

Oh,

I'm lost.

Can we start again?

Now, what exactly is Vernon accusing you of?

Of taking food and stuff.

and whiskey, and then putting the whiskey back.

What whiskey?

The two bottles of whiskey that he thinks that I gave him. But I wouldn't

done that. I remembered if I'd done that.

Right, let me just get this straight.

Vernon has got two bottles of whiskey, and he... You don't like it when people

say that I've done things and haven't.

Unless I've done it, and then I'm going mad.

Gina, just to let you know, the fingerprint men will be here in half an

Phil, you'd better come in.

David's got something to tell you.

Mother?

Yes, because you're not going mad, David.

You've just told me something really important.

Have I?

Yes. And this son's done what?

I can't talk about it here.

Not in front of the children.

Get inside, you two.

Right, you were saying?

He's been sleeping with my daughter.

Oh, well, boys will be boys.

And I dare say girls will be girls.

Mrs Lomax.

My daughter is a schoolgirl.

She's only 16.

It could be a criminal offence. A what?

A criminal offence. What are you implying?

That your son could be in big trouble.

And there's another thing.

Someone has supplied her with the contraceptive pill.

And I'd like to know who it was.

Oh, I see.

You're blaming that on Carl as well, are you? How else could she have got hold

of it? I've no idea.

Down the clinic like everybody else, I expect.

My daughter knows nothing about places like that.

She's far too young.

I expect he stole them, judging by the sort of family he comes from.

Look, Mrs, I think you'd better clear off before I forget myself.

I will.

I've no wish to prolong this conversation.

I'm warning you, that's all.

If your son comes anywhere near my daughter, you won't just have me to

to. You'll have my husband.

You've got to cheat, you have. For accusing Carl of all of that, I think

better take it back. Go!

I know what's getting up your nose, Mrs High and Mighty.

You don't think he's good enough, do you? Not for your little precious...

you're wrong. My car's worth two of her, do you hear me? OK, OK, that's enough.

Calm down.

Oi! Get your hands off her.

I'd like a word with you.

You don't touch me, Mum.

Come on, Carl.

Stop, Carl!

Yes, Sarge.

But I don't like to disturb David while he's working on your car.

Good thinking, Bellamy. But we can't go in without a householder.

We'll have to find Vernon Scripps, then. You do that, and you make sure you

contact me right away.

OK, Sarge. Over and out.

Panda 1 to Delta Alpha 2 -4. Come in, Mike.

Go ahead, Phil.

I think we've found him.

Who?

to find Vernon Scripps.

Oh, Dad, you're

home nice and early.

Come through to the dining room, Deborah, please.

What is it?

Oh, it's not Granny, is it? No, Deborah, it's these.

I'm off home.

My castor isn't fixed.

Oh, dear.

So give Scripps one last ring before you go, will you? You press upon him the

urgency of the situation.

Yes, sir.

I told Bradley and Bellamy if they come up with anything to contact me at home.

Righty -o.

Adventurous.

You do realise there's less than 24 hours to go, don't you?

No problem, Sarge.

and to pick up all people, one of the low -maxes. What's wrong with them?

They're trouble, Debbie, the whole lot of them. No, they're not. They're just

poor, that's all.

Could Carl's dad die?

We're not going to argue.

He's not the sort of boy we want you seeing, and that's all there is to it.

And we're very surprised you let it go as... well, as far as it obviously might

have gone.

Debbie, we need to know.

Have you...

Mum! Well, what did you need these for, then?

Did he get them for you? No.

Well, how did you get them, then?

The doctor.

The doctor? What doctor? I'm not telling.

I'm sorry, Debbie, but no doctor would give the pill to a girl of your age. Not

without consulting her parents first.

Debbie, we're waiting.

Where did you get them? None of your business.

Come back at once.

No! And I did get them from a doctor, and I said I had to have them, otherwise

I'd get pregnant.

Deborah!

Watch what you're saying!

No, I won't!

And you can't stop me from seeing Carl, because I love him.

He's never going to part us.

Now what?

We're going to see Dr Somerby, of course.

David's definitely not here.

I've told you. He's sleeping at his mum's.

What are we looking for? Any sign of life.

If he knows you and David are out, he could be anywhere.

Who?

Who are we talking about?

Hey, what's that?

What?

There's somebody upstairs.

Right.

Funny times, oh yeah.

I'm home to bed, I fuck my head, I see your face underneath my pillow.

I'm next morning, faster than your energy.

I'm bumping deep into my window.

So far, he hasn't told us anything except his name.

Which is?

Indian Summer.

Good evening, Mr. Summer.

He won't talk.

What were you doing in my bath, eh?

I'll deal with this, thank you.

OK, what were you doing in this gentleman's bath?

I'm going to have to fumigate it now, aren't I?

Mr. Scripps, please.

Right, perhaps you could start telling us what's been going on.

I can't walk proper, can I?

And to rest up.

I've only been here a week, mate.

A week?

Nothing here.

In the barn.

You've been in my barn for a week?

Vernon, please.

We may need Dr Thumberby's card. It could be broken. Phil's on to it.

All right, thank you, Bradley.

Right, let's stop fooling about, shall we? Did you or did you not break into

village pub last night?

Just to get me rations.

Didn't mean to break them plates and things.

Mr Summer.

You've broken into private property and systematically vandalised police

equipment. Now, do you want to talk about it here, or shall we go down to

station? Sarge, I think we've got the wrong man. What?

Somebody's just set fire to the police station.

Luckily, it's just a bad sprain, but he certainly can't walk on it.

He really oughtn't to be sleeping rough.

Oh, no.

He's not staying here. Just for the night. I'll sort a hostel out for him in

morning. No.

He's an old man, Mr. Script.

He's stinky and he's a tea leaf.

I knew you'd say yes.

Ah, David, just the man.

Vernon's agreed to let Mr. Summer stay the night.

He's a bit of a good Samaritan, secretly.

Just a minute.

What's going on?

Any chance of a drink, then, seeing as I'm staying?

I'll try to refrain from stating the obvious, will you, Bellamy?

If you hadn't led us off on a wild goose chase... Well, we seem to be back to

square one. The vandal's struck again and we still have no idea who it is.

Oh, why?

And Her Majesty's inspector's coming tomorrow.

Yes, Bellamy, I think we all knew that.

Bye -bye.

Mr and Mrs White, hello.

Did you prescribe these for our daughter?

You'd better come through.

They won't see you. No.

What have you done to your hand?

It's nothing. I did it on the wagon.

You know they forbid me to see you ever again.

I know.

They can't put us up, can they? No.

You'd better go.

We'll be back in a minute.

I love you.

I love you.

Mr and Mrs White, I think we can all remember what fertile love felt like.

This is what Deborah's experiencing.

Her first love affair.

Nonsense. I assure you she is.

And it's pretty heady stuff. She came to me in quite a state.

At which point you should have informed us.

I agree.

And I asked her if I could.

Deborah, she's only a child, for heaven's sake.

In your eyes, maybe, but not for medical purposes, I'm afraid.

As far as seeking medical advice or treatment is concerned, she's an adult.

She's still at school.

On her own level.

Yes, but she's six. Dean, above the age of consent.

Never heard such a drop.

We're her parents.

We should have been asked.

The very idea of prescribing the pill without our permission. It's an absolute

grace. I'm sorry, but there is such a thing as patient confidentiality. If

Deborah didn't want you involved, there was nothing I could do.

Oh, I see. So you took it upon yourself to be my daughter's moral guide.

The fine moral guide you turned out to be with your casual attitude.

Oh, very modern, I'm sure.

But not our way, Dr Somerby.

Not in Aidan's field.

Come on, Keith.

We have moral principles up here.

Ones we like to stick to.

When you've been here for a bit, you'll realise that you try to change things at

your peril.

Don't think for a moment that the village won't get to hear about this.

You have the wrong black.

Black paint is black paint, isn't it?

Listen, Mr Scripps, you promised you'd have my car back to me by this morning.

No, I am not having your brother collect him.

After all, it's down.

Car not ready then, sir? No, it's not.

And I'm not having Her Majesty's inspector picked up in a panda car,

a black Mariah.

Oh, get back on to Scripps, will you? Tell him we'll hire the wife in after

Sir?

And almost as soon as they'd gone, the phone starts ringing.

Oh, the parents, checking I hadn't given their daughter the pill.

I mean, some of them were quite aggressive. It's like the whole village

arms. Tricia, you did nothing wrong. I know, but they can still make an awful

lot of trouble for me if they want to. But they won't get anywhere, will they?

What you did was perfectly reasonable. From what you say, she ran a real risk

getting pregnant.

Yeah. Well, there you go.

You did the right thing.

Thank you.

I think I just needed to hear someone else say it.

I'm just talking about myself.

How's things?

Well, with me, fine.

Have you heard from Jackie at all?

Only through the Philifters. It's the decree night out next week.

Oh.

Still, at least when it's over, you'll be able to make a fresh start.

No more unfinished business.

Yeah, no more unfinished business.

I still can't believe she left.

Well, I suppose I knew, really.

Deep down.

She was...

Too good for me.

Come on, Mike, you can't think like that.

You were a good couple. A good couple for ages.

Yeah.

Listen, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I'm sorry.

I'd better get going.

Yeah.

I'm just sorry things are so rough for you at night.

I saw Deborah and Carl outside your surgery this morning.

Looked like he'd been through the wars. Just a bit of an accident.

Managed to give himself quite a nasty burn, though. I see.

Alf?

Can you do me a favour?

Get all the information you can on a Karl Lomax.

Lomax.

Just a hunch, but dig out what you can.

Thanks.

Excellent.

This could be the start of something big.

Oh, come on, Bernard, think about it.

A contract with the local police at the very least.

What time does that train get in?

Arriving from London, York Station, 12 .55. Right.

This calls for best bib and tucker.

First impressions and all that.

Right, I've got a lot to do.

You gather his car's not ready, then?

Oh, don't you start.

We've had him on the warpath ever since.

We had to call in Vernon Scripps to do the honours.

Any news on Carl, though, Max?

Oh, I rang up the police station nearest to his old address.

And they sent this over.

I think it's about time we brought Carl in for questioning, don't you?

Oi!

I won't say this again.

I want you out of here by the time I get back.

Bill?

This way, please.

Bradley, we have precisely two hours before Her Majesty's inspector arrives.

Now is not the time to bring somebody in.

Oh, go on, then.

You noticed the boy seemed hostile towards you, and then last night you

out he'd been on the bus to Ashfordly. And then I discovered he'd been to see

Somerby this morning with a burnt arm.

I see.

Exactly, Sarge. And then Al found out where the family came from, contacted

local station.

And suddenly everything fell into place.

Go on.

Carl's father was killed in a car crash.

He was a pedestrian and the car was speeding.

Yes. Well, the driver claimed that he'd stepped out in front of him and he'd got

off. The family appealed, but he still got off.

They got a letter informing them of this on Monday, and Monday was the day I got

a brick through my window.

Yes.

The driver was a policeman.

Come in.

Sarge, Lomax wants to make a statement.

His mum's been leaning on him. I think we're going to get a full confession.

So you admit it all, do you?

Throwing a brick into the police house in Aidensfield, damaging a police

vehicle, and setting fire to this station last night.

Yeah. Now, would you like to tell me why?

Why?

Because you killed me, Dad.

Carl. No, stop kidding yourself, Mum.

They killed me, Dad, and didn't even get done for it.

It was a cover -up.

I don't want everyone to know.

Please don't make things worse.

You all stick together.

Stick together and lie.

It was my dad.

Mauled him down like an animal.

He didn't care.

They just lied.

They lied.

And he's all so healthy in his body and his mind.

He's a well -respected man about town. Doing the best things so

conservatively.

Excellent. Yes, sir.

Behaviour during the inspection?

Calm, quiet and dignified.

Yes, sir. Serving the community with politeness and good humour.

Oh, definitely, sir.

At ease, then, gentlemen.

We've come to see Sergeant Craddock.

Thank

you.

Our pleasure, sir.

We've a new young doctor in the village, and quite... My daughter Jenny is very

easily led. She's a good girl, but... Sex, underage, sex, what are we coming

if our own doctor's encouraging it? Ladies, please, I do appreciate your

concerns, but this is not a police matter. Not a police matter?

We've a doctor who's leading our daughters astray. Morally and

daughter Jenny's only 15.

Yes, her daughter Jenny's only 15.

Do what Dr Somerby's up to behind our backs.

All right.

Please, I have a very important meeting and I'm afraid I cannot discuss this

now. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Certainly not. Not until you tell us what you're going to do. Do?

Do? Madam, the sexual habits of teenagers are nothing to do with me.

Good afternoon, sir.

Quiet, calm and dignified.

The British Bobby at work.