Original subtitles

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does a love kiss stay in my memory?

Buckington floor.

What's that?

Well, it says that clutter always increases to fill the space available.

Meaning? Well, since Alf moved next door, your rubbish has been breathing

it's taken over his desk.

Hey, do you hear that, Alf?

Parkinson's law.

What's that? Well, it's this law that says I'm not to blame for being untidy.

Oh, that's a relief.

I've just had a call from the area park warden.

They've given permission for a party of Boston lads to do some labouring work on

your patch. Oh, yeah?

How many lads?

Half a dozen of them, and one prison officer.

Only one?

His name's Blinkan.

Go and show your face and make sure he's got a grip.

Right. Well, didn't you tell them we've got enough bad lads of our own? There's

no such thing as bad lads, only bad parents. That's another of those daft

Your desk is in a terrible state.

Get it cleaned up.

You got me so I can't sleep at night.

who lived here. She had no family. No, I'm the trustee of her will. The rent

goes to her chosen charity.

Oh, it's perfect.

I shall bake.

Will anybody be joining you?

No. Solitude is my aim.

Oh, my agent was absolutely right to suggest this.

He'd given up hope of me ever starting another book.

So you'll be writing it here?

Who knows?

I may even set it here.

Well, we'd better build our best behavior then. Oh, no.

What a bore.

Besides, no one must know that I'm here.

I trust I can rely on your discretion.

Take a leg.

Trees, Sloper.

You've never seen countryside before.

Ship yourself, Harvey.

What's this? Sloper was sick.

Must have been your driving, Mr Blankine.

Sloper!

Mr Blankine?

Get a spade and bury it.

You heard.

That should stop it spinning round.

Let's hope so. I've been shouting at myself all morning.

Who's paying?

You'll get paid as soon as Tom Drabble gets elected.

Oh, yes.

Well, Bernie, that bit of land out the back, it's worth no without planning

permission. We hope Tom Drabble, he hopes us. That's what politics is all

Helping people.

Help themselves.

Everything fixed? Oh, Mr. Drabble, can I do... Ah, good, good.

Actually, me and Bernie were just discussing that used car and caravan lot

going to make out of that bit of land round about.

You never mentioned caravans, Claude. Ah, yeah, yeah, well, Bernie's going to

deal with the cars, I'm going to deal with the used caravans. Oh.

Does that make a difference then, Mr. Drabble?

No, no.

Used cars, caravans, what's the difference?

I'm sure I can swing it.

Assuming you win.

Assuming what? You don't honestly think Tom's going to lose to boring Blaketon,

do you? You'll have to excuse him, Tom. I think he's been inhaling too much

diesel.

The Blank Eye.

Yes, PC Mike Bradley.

I'm up the road in Aidensfield.

I just have a nice quiet corner, Constable.

Yes, I suppose I have.

So, what's going on here?

We're clearing the debris from the stream.

The Governor likes to get the lads out and show them what they're missing.

Well, just so long as none of them attempt it, eh?

It's a scarper.

Besides,

most have already done the thick end of their time.

Break it up!

Get out of the water!

Get out!

you from somewhere?

Well, I don't know. Do you?

Your picture's on a boot cover, isn't it?

Heart's set.

A lover's way.

On a gale.

Am I right?

What are you up to, Greengrass?

Oh, Mr Blake.

Of course, by this time next week I might have to call you counsellor.

There must be a reason why you're supporting Drabble. Oh, there is, Oscar.

I'm talking to it.

And where did you get those?

What? Those posters. They're mine.

Are they?

Still there? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought it were litter.

They must have blown off.

Blown off.

Hey, Blaketon.

What do you think you're playing at?

You know what he's doing? He's pasting his mush up all over my posters.

He what?

That's disgusting, that. You can trust nobody.

He's covered everyone up round there.

What do you expect?

He used to be a copper. They're all bent. I'm the one honest candidate in

election, and you know it.

Meaning what?

Work it out, Drabble.

Well, can't you count to two?

Say that that late, and take one step further, and I'll give you a pasting.

Gentlemen!

What seems to be the problem?

Oh, no problem, Constable. Just a little difference of opinion.

The pub's more or less opposite the garage.

You can't miss it. Oh, right. Well, I'll pop in and we can have another chat.

Now, who is that?

Which one? The one without the bucket.

Oh, that's Mike Bradley, our local Bobby.

Oh.

He looks very approachable. Oh, yeah.

Easy man if you've got a problem.

Good knockabout stuff, this electioneering, Oscar.

Well, does somebody have to stop that villain from getting elected?

Who, Tom Drabble? Aye.

You only have to see the company he keeps to know he's as bent as a nine

note.

Aidensfield deserves better.

More like you.

Well, that's not for me to say.

I'm so grateful you've come.

You reported a friend missing? Yes, Marilyn, out here.

Well, she was up there for hours, I swear it.

Well, cats generally find their own way down.

But where is she?

In a basket.

She's trembling, poor thing.

I am so sorry for having put you to this trouble, Constable.

Oh, no trouble at all, Mrs Gale.

Honour, please.

She's a city cat, you see.

She hardly ever leaves my flat and all these trees, rocks and fields while

they're too much for her. Well, I'm sure she'll survive.

I'm worried about it.

But will I?

You aren't here to climb trees, are you?

Well, the countryside can be a frightening place to an outsider.

I'm sorry?

We look pretty stupid to Constable Bradley, don't we?

But, as you say, we will survive.

And if there's any chance we can't, I've got your number.

She says she's got right to block, so she's taken six months at least while

tries to write the next book.

Well, I thought she wanted to remain anonymous.

Well, no one will bother her around here, whether they know her or not.

what I said.

Six months. It's an awful long time in cat years.

Don't be such a misery. She charmed you. I know she did.

But I shall tell her you're taken.

Good. As soon as possible, please.

Come on, get away from there.

What did you do that for?

It can't be for them.

We're better fed inside for doing that. Yeah, but... Give it to you. What for?

No, Varley.

Have some self -respect, will you?

Stop eating that. I'm starving.

Yeah, so let's find some else.

Get away, you deaf bat.

What did you say?

Nothing. That's what I thought.

Come on.

Open it.

Not me.

You've been mouthy enough how you can get into any motor. I can.

Right. Don't talk to me again.

The others can do as they like, will you?

You what? They'd have your guts for guards if it worked for me looking out

you. From now on, you're on your own.

Arlie!

When was the last time he saw him?

Hmm?

Where have you been?

Call the nature, Mr. Blankiron.

So why didn't you tell somebody?

No time, I was caught sudden.

The same with Sloper.

Let's ask him that.

So where is he?

Yes? Got a tin opener, missus.

Is this your place?

I rent it.

It's gear.

If I had a place like this, I'd get food in and just, like, see nobody.

Except a dog.

I'd have a dog, definite.

My dog got killed.

Oh, dear.

Traffic accident?

No, my dad.

They kept chewing his stuff.

No, I'm bursting.

Take them with me, though, if you like.

Good.

Colin, what did you do to be sent to Borstal?

I took a motor.

More than one.

I never damaged them, though. Never.

It's just that when I'm in a motor, it feels like I'm as good as anybody.

Blink -eye.

How's it going?

Not bad.

What can I do for you?

Two ramblers reported their car was broken into in the car park.

When was this?

Well, it happened a couple of hours ago.

You'd know if any of your boys had gone over.

Yes.

Who's missing?

Sloper. Colin Sloper.

Where is he?

I don't know.

Wandered off and got lost, is my guess.

Why didn't you report him missing?

I expected him to find his way back.

And how long were you going to wait before saying anything?

This isn't a chain gang.

These lads have to be let out and trusted at some point. That's what this

about.

Where the heck have you been, sloper? Sorry, Mr Blenheim.

Don't be cross with him, officer.

He turned up at my house, lost and hungry.

A car's been broken into, Sloper.

Anything to do with you? Me?

No, Mr Blankine.

Go on, then. Get going.

And don't move, let her pay for it.

Bye, Colin.

I'm afraid he's not the brightest. Sorry if he's been a bother.

No bother at all, officer.

I'm glad to have been of help.

Keep up the good work.

A she?

A friend.

A friend?

She lives up the road. Gave me a frial.

You're joking, aren't you? No.

Thought she was one of them stuck -up sorts, but she's not.

She's all right.

Well, I'll finish her.

You know me.

I only mix with the knobs.

Well, on the housing in particular, the council's record has been shameful.

And if I'm elected, I'll make it my job to put that right.

So, uh, if you agree...

And I sense you do.

You vote Blaketon.

You can't go wrong.

And thank you for your time, madam.

What do you want?

Not within an hour to get him off to sleep. Now I'll cut him.

Constable Bradley.

How nice to see you again. Come in.

Oh. Ah, no.

Thank you.

Are you thinking of making some changes?

Oh, just one or two.

If I intend to work here, I need a decor that's a little more encouraging.

Well, I'm sorry. I've not read any of your books. Oh, no need to apologise.

You seem more a man of action than of letters, am I right?

Well, I do do a little bit of rock climbing in my spare time.

Then I am right.

Are you about to eat?

Yes, but no matter.

Smells good.

Thank you.

Would you like a drink?

No, thanks.

You drove off this morning before I got a chance to talk to you about the boy

from the work site.

Oh, um... What do you want to know?

Well, you said he turned up here...

Lost? Correct.

And that you gave him the lift back?

I fed him, then took him back, yes.

You fed him?

He was hungry.

Did he have any food with him?

Well, he wouldn't have been hungry if he'd got any food with him now, would

You're not going to hound the poor boy, are you?

Well, I'd rather hound the man that was supposed to be keeping an eye on him.

And what?

Stop them coming out here.

those poor boys are disadvantaged enough without you depriving them of fresh air

as well.

You obviously took a shine to him.

Oh, clock off, Constable, and join me.

Now, that's very kind, but... I've got a little something for you in the

kitchen.

You come here often?

I think you're unblocked, Mrs Gale.

Yes, I rather think I am.

It's me.

Well, I don't care what time it is.

Listen to me. I'm writing.

Morning, Gina.

Hi, Maddy.

How is he?

Wide awake.

Great.

Oscar's in the snug.

Right, thanks.

I've been trying to make the pub a politics -free zone, but he said he's

of space in his room.

Never mind.

It'll all be over in a couple of days' time. Unless he wins.

I take it we can't rely on your vote, then?

I'm saying nothing.

Jackie didn't mind.

Well, why would she mind?

No reason.

No reason at all?

Her being a rich and attractive woman, and you with your hands in her sink?

Write a bit of fiction, will you?

Have you two got the roster for polling day sorted?

Er, just doing it else.

Good thing it's only a by -election.

A bobby on every polling station would be a villain's idea of paradise on

election day proper.

Oh, talk of your villains, I run a check on young Sloper.

He's got a record of car crime as long as you're armed. Well, no surprises.

I'm pretty sure he, well, he broke into the car, but with no prints, it's going

to be hard to prove.

Well, so long as Blinker keeps control from now on.

Ashfordly, please.

Yes.

Well? What's up? Just a second.

Oh, it's a woman reporting a walker in difficulties on Bleak Edge. Can we help?

You'd better nip over.

Right, sir. Yeah, we'll get someone there as soon as possible.

Well, I think that's a good idea, Maggie. So if you can... What are you

here, Greengrass?

I'm washing up. What does it look like?

The engine's packed in. Well, get it unpacked.

Smartish. We need to get out of here.

If you could.

Please, Claude.

How do you do, ladies and gentlemen?

Tom Drabble's the name. Hope I can look forward to your support on polling day.

Tom Drabble. Don't forget the name. Thank you, sir.

Nice to have seen you. Cheerio.

Oh, what a little tweeter.

Hello, darling.

How are you? Can I have your vote on polling day?

Vote for me. That's the thing. Tom Drabble. There has to be a better way.

Tom Drabble way. Every minute I'm stuck out here, Greengrass, it's costing me

votes. I'm giving it a looking at. Anybody think I've broken down on

That's exactly what I think. And I'm going to make an official complaint.

What do you want about it? You are an official complaint.

At least I'm not breaking the rules.

What do you mean, Claude? You and him in there.

What are you talking about?

It is illegal for candidates to hold a meeting on, quote, premises that are

licensed for intoxicants. But that rule only applies to committee meetings,

Greengrass. Tell that to the returning officer.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do.

Give me that plug. I'm going home.

Yeah, I know.

Hello? Hello?

Are you all right?

Do I look all right?

Mrs. Gale? What are you doing up here?

I was walking along the track, and I saw a flower, and I tried to reach it

myself.

Is everything working? Legs, arms? I think so, but every time I tried to

up, the ground seemed to move.

Hold on to me.

See if you can stand.

Oh, no.

My lips are shaking.

It's OK.

Greetings, Acting Sergeant.

Oh, hello, Oscar.

How are things on the campaign trail?

Well, to be honest, Al, it's not very good.

I need some help.

Oh, dear.

Do you remember that fraud case a couple of years back involving Tom Drabble and

Vic Painter?

Yeah, Painter went down for five years. Correct.

And Drabble got off.

Go on.

I want you to reopen the file.

Reopen it?

Has some new evidence come to light?

Oh, come on, Alf.

Don't be pedantic.

Do what, Sarge?

Don't worry about it, Bellamy. I see.

You want me to rake up some old dirt on Drabble. He belongs inside.

We both know that.

Very convenient, I'm sure.

Look, I am standing up in this election for honesty and decency in public life.

In that case, I'd better forget that we ever had this conversation.

Some people take their democratic freedoms very much for granted.

Sarge.

Sarge.

Look, I don't know if it'll help, but I heard rumour that Drabble's been seeing

Janet Painter while Vic's been inside.

I've been seeing Vic Painter's missus all night socialising, is what I've

Bellamy, thanks.

You've come a long way.

Do you want to know a secret?

Open toast.

No, thanks, Edith. I'm in a rush.

You're not knocking on doors. It's early in the morning, are you? No, I'm off to

prison. Er, visiting.

Oh, you're cheerful.

Ooh!

What is it? Not what, who.

Mike Bradley, Beefcake.

Oh, dear.

Blockbuster novelist Honor Gale's ordeal on the Shivering Mountain.

What? Ended when PC Mike Bradley came to a rescue.

The dashing constable could have stepped straight out of one of my books.

Sir?

Hey.

Sleeping sloper.

The woman who did me the fry -up, it's there.

Look.

Same name.

Hey, lads, look what Sloper's reading. It's a tart book. Give it here.

Give it back.

Sloper. Shut up and sit down.

Oh, Sarge.

Morning, Ventress.

Oh, I didn't expect to see you.

Really.

Open a window.

Where's Bradley?

I'm due in, Sarge.

Any minute.

How's cadet training going?

It's going very well, thank you, Bellamy.

They're raw but willing, and the exercise is doing me the power of good.

The whole experience has been most invigorating.

How are things here?

Oh, very similar, sir.

Good morning, Bradley.

It's a surprise to see you. Well, it seemed opportune.

It's not often that one of my officers receives such public commendation.

And more to the point, he earned this praise through fitness for duty.

Skill allied to endurance. That's going to be our goal when I come back.

And I'm grateful to you, Bradley, for setting such a timely example.

That's all.

What's the matter, man?

Thanks a bunch.

I think I'd better go and have a lie down.

Don't tell me you haven't seen it.

Eh?

Magnificent, mate.

Joke over.

What joke?

You here, me, and anyone else you intend to use.

What are you talking about?

Truth, lies, fact, fiction. Don't know the difference, do you?

Oh, dear.

I am so sorry.

Nothing to do with you, I suppose.

I promise this is as much a surprise to me as it is to you.

Look, you set up some pathetic publicity stunt, and it's a surprise, is it? It

is.

My agent said he wouldn't use it straight away.

Oh, you were saving it, were you? For the front cover of your book, perhaps?

Look, I think you've wasted enough police time already, don't you?

From now on, whatever trouble you get yourself into, don't call me.

Where did you get this information?

Well, I've come straight from the prison. I knew that once you'd read

you'd want to reopen Drabble's file.

How come that Vic Painter waited till now to shop him?

No idea, Ralph.

It's a mystery.

Just taking the phone message for you, Mr Drabble. It's on a notepad in the

office. Right you are.

What are the chances of you and him settling your slaves here?

About as much change there would be of you pecking and moaning.

It's not hot water and aspirins I'm putting in here, you know, Claude.

Then it is.

The money I've laid out for that piece of land is a non -returnable deposit.

But you don't hear me going on, do you?

Just relax.

We'll be home in dry when the results come out.

I'm sorry, Claude. Look, you're going to have to manage on your own for the rest

of today.

Why? Is there something at all?

No, no, just something I've got to do.

Then I'll see you first thing in the morning.

Look, I've been made to look like a complete idiot.

No, you haven't.

What, do you think they meant that ovation?

Yes, of course they did. Look, they don't know she set you up.

Come on, Mike. You're losing your sense of humour.

Look, I was just trying to do my job.

You know what? That's what I told her.

You talked to her?

Yes. I told her she was a silly cow.

Or you could both have been injured.

I should have to apologise, of course.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely, yeah.

But you're not flattered by the attention?

No.

Not even a little bit?

Not even a little bit.

Well, good.

Because I can give you all the attention you need.

Come on, get back inside.

Later. Come on.

Hey, where did we go?

Days when the rain came.

Down in the hollow, playing a new game.

Laughing and running, baby.

Skipping and jumping.

In the misty morning fog with a heart that felt better than you.

A bright -eyed girl.

Make it count.

Smith and Todd over there.

Sloper, go with Boone.

Come on, Varley, get cracking.

Move, move, move!

Somebody put an apple in that pig's gull.

What was that, Varley? I said give me the tools and I'll finish the job for

Mr Blankiron.

Morning. Morning, gents.

Good morning.

Nice day again. Yes.

Happy voting.

You lot.

doing that won't last five minutes come on out of it i

went away just

when you you need me

Very kindly, just give me a couple of minutes.

Good morning, ladies.

Good morning, Lord.

If the devil was to cast his net.

The bus has stopped here just for a couple of minutes for the convenience of

of you who'd like to use your vote for your candidate, Mr Tom Drabble.

Apart from everything else, I think you'll find your bus service will be

the hands of Mr. Drabble.

Has Drabble showed up yet?

No, not whilst you've been here.

I'll get it.

Well, as soon as he does, I want to know.

Well, what's going on?

Well, Oscar's stirred up some new evidence against him.

Mike, that was the station.

Mrs. Gale, apparently she might have an intruder. Might still be there. Just

leave me out of it.

Things have gone missing and they say she sounds pretty scared.

Yeah, well, she's very good at that.

Listen, Phil, do us a favour. Tell her she can write a list and drop it into

station.

Make a list?

No, really, I need somebody to come right now.

No, please.

Hello?

Not sign of it.

No, sir.

Right, get in. We're going.

What about Barley?

He'll get what's coming to him.

Come on.

There you go.

Have a sip of that.

Now, are you sure you weren't imagining it?

Someone was there.

He didn't think I'm making it up.

I wonder why.

Blink on.

I'll still...

One of my prisoners has gone AWOL.

Same lad as before?

No, only wish it was.

Why do you say that?

This one's named Varley. Bit of a Jekyll and Hyde with just enough brains to be

dangerous. Well, do any of his mates know where he might have got to? He

got any mates.

Slope has the nearest thing.

Like a dog to his master.

Hello?

It's Jackie Lambert.

Hello?

Honor?

Well, he didn't say anything to you.

Look, if you know where he might be, you'd be helping him, darling.

He could have gone for a fry -up.

Fry -up? Like the one the lady did for me.

The writer lady.

What do you want?

Where's Mrs Gale?

Out.

And what are you doing here?

Just dropped in for a chat.

I think you should go.

Don't be like that.

Have a drink.

That's what we felt.

All right?

After you.

Bye -bye.

I like a bit of a chase, do you?

Don't come near me.

What are you scared of?

Squeezing the trees?

Where's the arm in that?

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

It's okay, it's okay.

It's all right, it's all right.

It's all right.

It's okay.

And still your man hasn't turned up.

Why should he? He knows he's walked it. Walked it?

Legged it, more like.

What does he mean by that?

Hey, why's our ventress looking for him? Don't ask me. I'm neutral.

I've got a feeling there's a bit of funny handshaking being going on.

Meaning what? Work it out with a pencil.

Have you found him?

Seems we were the last to see him after you got that message at the garage.

I bet Blaketon's had something to do here. What's happening in there?

A bit too close to call. They're having recounts.

I knew you shouldn't have risked the money on that land, Claude. Now you tell

me. Why weren't you more forceful? You should have put your foot down. You'd

have felt mine.

What's this?

I'm going.

For good?

I don't feel sorry.

Right. Oh, that's not very gallant.

The real thing is always such a letdown.

Really?

Jackie's back at the cottage. She helped me to tidy up.

Rent's paid.

Why don't the two of you snuggle down till the lease runs out?

The last two recounts have ended in a dead heat.

So, in accordance with the rules, the winner shall be decided by lot.

Who's he, when he's alone?

Oh, it's by the toss of a coin, Mr. Greengrass.

You are?

Oh, it's in the rules.

And since Mr. Drabble still appears to be indisposed, it falls on Mr.

call. If I could just have a word.

Mr. Drabble's absence may have something to do with inquiries we're making to a

criminal matter.

Criminal matter?

I just thought I'd mention it. Oh, yes.

Thank you, Sergeant.

Tails. Tails it is.

It's all a plain fiddle, isn't it? And you know why, don't you, Alf? What are

you talking about? What am I talking about?

Trouble's been nobbled, and because of you, so have I.

The Lord had plans to become caravan king of the North Riding. Yeah, because

your lot, I've lost my deposit.

Nobody has to put up a deposit in a local election.

It's not that sort of deposit.

Stick to coppering, Alf. You know a note about politics.

Neither do you.

Oh, and I thought you might need some help.

Oh, did she?

I thought she'd gone for good.

She has.

She just packed what she wanted and left the rest.

You know, it wasn't a good idea, her living here on her own.

No? No.

You need company in a house like this.

You know, if I'd believed her SOS, she might have stayed.

Forget it.

Have a drink.

I'm serious. I let her down.

Oh, you did, did you?

No, you don't think so?

Mike.

She's gone home because she got everything she came here for.

Really?

That one thing.

My hero.

I love you.

What would you say to all -year -round hero cover?

Well, it sounds very comprehensive.

Well, it is.

Well, how does that work?

Well, it's called marriage.

What? Marriage.

You're serious?

Yes.

Will you marry me?

Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat Why does the love chip in my memory?