Original subtitles

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does a love kiss stay in my memory?

Riddle it fast!

And sing to me love's story And bring

to me love's glory Why do

you miss when my baby kisses me?

Nothing to do with me, mate.

Oh, you're up early today.

Oh, market day's the highlight of our week.

Isn't it, sweetheart?

Wee!

Come here.

Oh, by the way, you haven't seen Molly, have you?

Molly? Her dolly.

Oh.

Let's go and find her, shall we?

Eh? You OK?

Do me best, all right?

Having problems, are we?

Phil, it's good to see you.

Is this the guilty party?

Came quietly, did she, officer?

Yeah. I'll see you two later.

Yeah, I'm on.

Morning, sir. Can I help you?

Yes, you can help me. You can do something about that lunatic up by the

for starters.

And which lunatic was that, Peter?

The one who's just jumped out in front of me and nearly got himself killed,

that's all.

Come here.

What? Come here.

Thank you.

Now what do I owe you? If I could think of something.

Pint a bit around the pub tonight?

That'll do. For now.

I'll see you then.

You will.

So it's you, Claude. Is it?

I'll tell you one thing about you young coppers, you don't miss what's dear.

So how long have you been licensed to carry a lollipop, then?

You probably won't believe it from the expert way I'm sorting it out, but it's

my first day.

I've just had a bloke complaining you jumped out in front of him.

Nearly caused an accident this morning.

It's probably that lunatic in the green rover.

That's the one.

Well, if you want to have a go at it, not me. He comes screaming up here like

Sterling Moss on snuff and cinepods.

I can certainly vouch for that, Constable.

So you witnessed him, did you, Miss Weston?

Thank you very much indeed, Miss Weston. As a matter of fact, officer, Miss

Weston happened to be on the crossing at the time. He very nearly hit her.

I see.

Right, will that be all then, officer?

Yeah, I suppose so.

I'll get back to me duties then.

We've not all got Bobby's jobs, you know.

I was hoping you might pop in and give the children a talk sometime.

Oh, yeah?

We're doing a campaign on road safety.

Well, I'm all in favour of that.

Then how about this week?

Yeah, well, I'll check with my local secretary.

See if I'm free, I think.

Good.

Can I have a word with you, please?

Do you know what time it is?

It's nearly a quarter past nine, which means you're late again.

What happened this morning?

Have you at least remembered to bring your dinner money today?

Five pounds.

Even so, five pounds just for dinner money.

She forgot.

She's still in bed late.

I just took it.

You took it?

All right, go and sit down for now. I'll sort you out some change later.

I've just had an irate motorist bending my ear, Rowan.

Complaining about the kamikaze antics.

of a lollipop man on your patch.

Would that be a Mr Pettigrew, Sarge?

Oh, you've met him, have you?

He's had a go at me about it already.

But have you had a go yet at this idiot with a lollipop?

Yes, Sarge.

A Mr Greengrass claimed it was Pettigrew that nearly caused the accident.

Greengrass.

Great show, Sarge.

Aw, come on!

Have you lost something?

Five quid. I left it over there by the telly when I came in last night.

Oh, don't look at me. I haven't taken it.

Ah, well, that only leaves one suspect then, doesn't it? Oh, no.

No, she wouldn't.

Well, somebody did, and if it wasn't her, who the hell else could it have

Well, are you sure that's where you left it?

I'm telling you, I left it here!

Okay, okay!

Don't break it, we've just bought it!

Mrs McGowan.

That's right.

I'm Joanna Weston, Lizzie's teacher.

Oh, hello.

Could I come in?

Sorry. Aye, of course. Come in. Thank you.

Oh, this is Derek, by the way.

Hello.

He was just the way upstairs to get changed.

Come in.

Lizzie's out, is she?

Playing with the wee girl next door.

Do you want me to go and get her for you? No, no, that won't be necessary.

She brought this with her to school today to pay for her school dinner, she

said.

So that's where it went.

Only when we got up this morning, I had to run out for a loaf.

When I got back, she'd gone.

She must have taken it for Derek's wage packet.

The thing is, Lizzie, I really didn't have enough change.

It's very good of you to bring it back.

Only I'm a bit short of change myself now, so leave it with me and I'll see

brings in the right money tomorrow, OK? Right.

One more thing, Mrs McGowan.

Lizzie's been turning up for school quite late recently.

Aye, well, that's where Lizzie all over, you know.

A real dawdler. I'm sick to death of telling her.

When I have a word with her about this, I'll have one about that as well, OK?

Right.

Thanks very much, then.

Thanks again.

Cheers.

So where were you when they were handing out manners? At the back of the queue?

More to the point, where's that wandering little girl?

Why? Because I'd like a word with her. You stay away from her. Do you hear me?

Especially in that state.

Aye, what state would that be?

Stinking a drink.

Don't start.

The way you're going at it, Derek, there's going to be nothing left.

I said don't start, Dorothy!

Just get off my back, OK?

So what makes you think Phil's going to be here tonight?

Oh, she's got a Liverpoolian accent and wears miniskirts.

And generally can be found pulling pints in this establishment.

Yeah? Well, he's on a promise, so he thinks.

No. Why, you know, Phil, he's got a vivid imagination.

Besides, he doesn't know we're meeting him yet.

Cheers. Cheers, Ben.

And we'll have two more of the same, thank you, Gina, love.

Cheers, Phil.

Hi, Gina.

Hi.

I don't understand why you'd want to be a lollipop man at your age, Claude.

Because of the hidden advantages.

Hidden advantages?

Yeah. You work for the council, I mean. The automatic perks are many and muchly.

What sort of perks?

Free holidays.

Free holidays?

Yeah. I mean, look at Chopper Axford. He works for the council. Last year he

ended up with two weeks free holiday at the miners' home in Blackpool. Yes,

well, Mr Axford spent most of his life down the pit, Claude, and had the lung

prove it.

What's left of him? Well, I'm going to find somewhere that takes people in with

my complaints.

What complaints?

I've not made my mind up yet.

You're rogue.

I know, but I'm lovable with it.

Uncle George, Lord Ashfordly for you.

Lord Ashfordly? We'll have royalty ringing up next.

Well, you know, of course.

We'll talk to anyone, even you.

What do you think you're doing?

Just going for a drink.

You nearly knocked me down.

All right.

So what did his lordship want?

To see me, he said.

Then a pint of bitter, please.

I'll be with you in a minute.

To see you, what about?

I don't know, but I reckon I can guess. A pint of bitter, please.

I said I'll be with you in a minute.

Between you and me, I've heard he was in a bit of financial trouble.

Some big company he had shares in has gone belly up, they reckon. Cost him a

fortune.

What's that got to do with you?

Not really.

Unless it affects the rent for this place.

Why? Do you think he'll put it up?

Well, we don't pay much.

At least we haven't been.

Until now.

I'll see to him.

Now then, sir, what's the fuss about, eh? There's no fuss, Dad.

I just assumed you were there to serve drinks, not stand around yakking like

some old hen.

Eh? Don't be talking to my uncle like that.

Do you mind, lady? It happens to be the organ grinder I'm talking to, not a

monkey. All right, pal. That's enough, eh?

And here are you then, the monkey's uncle.

Look, why don't you do us all a favour? Go home and sleep it off, eh?

And you're going to make me?

If necessary.

Feeling lucky, then, are we?

With you, sunshine, any time. Now, come on. Out!

Right, now you just calm down, all right?

Sunny Flaming Liston.

Felt like it.

Derek Ramsey, Sarge. A right turn away, I can tell you.

And where do we have this one -man army now, then?

Safely under lock and key, I hope?

Oh, yes.

We sorted them out, all right.

Even though we did take the three of you.

Well, can I take it, then, that no more force was used than was absolutely

necessary in the circumstances?

He attacked us, Sarge.

So you said, Bellamy, but just in case his lawyer thinks otherwise, I want it

corroborated in court on Monday.

What happened?

I thought you were going for a quiet night out.

Yeah, well, it turned out to be more of a busman's holiday.

What have you done with him?

Who? My Derek. Where is he?

Derek Ramsey?

You'd better come in.

Are you Mickie's Ramsey?

Dorothy McGowan. We're not married.

Look, I want to know what you've done with Derek.

Well, we haven't done anything with him.

Except book him.

What, for being worked over by three coppers?

He's in custody over at Ashfordly, where he'll be spending the night, I should

think.

Look, you don't understand.

It was all my fault, really.

For having a go at him.

Look, when he's not full of drink, he's a big softy, and that is the truth.

It's not just drunken disorder he's being charged with. He attacked and

three police officers.

So he'll probably be charged with assault.

But couldn't he be sent down for that?

Quite possibly, yeah.

Then God help me, so I can see.

Hello?

Hello?

Who's that?

Hello?

Who is that?

Hello?

Who's that, Mummy?

What?

Oh, it must have been the wrong number.

Derek Ramsey.

You've been found guilty of assault, occasioning actual bodily harm.

Because of your previous record, such behaviour can neither be tolerated...

excused. You're therefore sentenced to 28 days.

Take him down.

Oh,

Dorothy. Long time no see.

McGowan? You all right?

Right, you two. Derek Ramsey needs delivering to prison this afternoon.

I take it you can just about manage that, can you?

Our pleasure, Sarge.

Now then, when we come to the road, what's the first thing we do, eh?

You look.

And then what do we do?

You look left.

And then?

You look right again.

And then?

You cross.

What, even if a steamroller's coming?

When we look right and left and right again, then we cross.

But only when?

The road's clear.

Right. We'd never get there.

Right, then who wants a lollipop? Me!

There you are.

Come on. Hey, come on. Hang on. Wait.

Wait on.

Hang on. All right, come on.

Easy.

All right, fast as you can.

Are you?

You're very good with kids.

Well, that's probably because I spend most nights trying to get one back to

sleep.

I can't imagine how you manage.

Oh, it's not that bad.

I don't play that age forever.

Well,

that has to be a first.

What's that?

Mrs McGowan turning up to collect Lizzie after school.

Most days she can't even manage to get her here on time.

How well do you know the family?

Not well.

Apparently they moved down from Glasgow about a year ago.

Constable Rowan?

I'm glad I've caught you. Could I have a word with you, please?

Yeah, of course you can.

I'll drop those road safety posters off sometime tomorrow, OK?

All right. Thanks again.

It's about Mr Greengrass.

Oh, yeah?

Is it true that he has a rather dubious background?

Well, he's a bit of an old rogue, but I don't think it would give you any

trouble.

Me?

Some sort of problem?

There's been an outbreak of pilfering at the school. Odd bits of cash, that kind

of thing.

All from the school cloakroom.

Yeah, well, that's not Mr.

Greengrass's style.

The point is, it's only started happening since Mr. Greengrass took over

cropping. And he does leave his lollipop in the cloakroom.

Bogs along this road.

Why?

I need one.

Urgently. Then you'll just have the way, won't you?

And you're a big boy now, Ramsey.

Presumably you're house -trained.

What if I can?

Then that's your problem, isn't it?

It's not exactly mine. I mean, you're the one sitting next to me for the next

few miles.

Right?

I thought you knew me better than that. I mean, there's no way I'm going to

steal money off kids, is there?

I'm only asking if you know anything about it, that's all.

I know what you're asking, and the answer is no. So if you'll excuse me,

and get on with me duties. And I suggest you do the same, Constable.

Wait on, wait on.

Come on, come on, nice and quickly now. Come on, lovely.

Right.

Well, come on. Good to see you.

That's it. No need to rush.

What matter about him?

You stupid old barnpot!

You did that on purpose!

How would you like the blunt end of this inserted up your left nostril?

Yeah, all right, you two. That's enough.

Well, have you heard him, Constable?

He threatened me!

Well, he probably wouldn't have done it if he hadn't spoken to him like that.

Now I can book the pair of you, if you like.

Or you can get back in your car and drive on.

You're already causing an obstruction.

OK, officer.

I get the picture.

You uniformed lads must stick together, right?

And if you think you've heard the end of this, you've got another thing coming,

mate.

Morning.

In fact, you'll be laughing on the other side of your airy great face by the

time I've finished with you.

I think those lads in uniform did very well.

Yeah, all right, Claude. Don't wind that brass neck of yours out too far.

Well, one of these days you'll get it chopped off.

Well, what do you want, a hand?

Get on with it.

Only, uh, I need to go in there.

Hold on, then. Come on.

Look, don't take long, okay?

You hear?

Get on with it. Cheers.

Oh, there's no paper!

Put on your red dress, baby.

You're coming out tonight.

On your bed, yes, baby.

Well, you're coming out tonight.

Put on a happy smile.

Whoa! Because everything's all right.

All right.

You're on your high heels. So get on your head.

Yes,

sir.

I can't honestly think how anyone could have been that stupid, sir.

Yes, sir? Fully experienced officers?

No, sir.

Not exactly the cream of the crop.

Well, we'll catch him, sir. Don't you worry about that.

Right.

The old public urinal routine, was it?

And you two idiots fell for it.

You didn't perhaps slip him his bus fare to the nearest railway station while

you were at it?

Well, don't you stand there like the last of the clay men, get cleaned up and

get out there with the rest of the north -riding police force and find him.

And if you happen to see a church, I'll go in and light a couple of candles.

Because if you don't bring him back sharpish, you'll both be in need of

intervention.

Blatant!

Oh, hello, sir.

You've heard, have you, sir?

Well, we're doing our best, sir.

What's going on, Dorothy?

What do you mean?

Well, why would Derek suddenly do a runner?

It's only gone down for 28 days.

How should I know?

He's in even more trouble now.

That bloke you saw in court, you and Derek weren't exactly pleased to see

I'm telling you, I don't know what you're talking about.

Go on.

Oh, it's you, Mr Greengrass.

Yes, it is.

Is he in?

If it's Nick you're referring to, I'm afraid he isn't.

Is there anything I can help you with?

Just tell him Claude Greengrass came round and said thank you very much

For what, exactly?

I'll tell you for what. For getting me with a push from my job down at the

school. Well, how could Nick possibly have done that?

Oh, easy.

By putting the poison in. I mean, they couldn't pin that poofer in charge on

could they? So they stitched me up in another way. I'll just tell him I hope

he's proud of himself, taking the bread and butter out of the mouth of somebody

who's nearly an old age pensioner.

He's spending too much time with that Blaketon.

Well, I'm sitting over here on Fox and Pond.

I'm sitting over here on Fox and Pond.

I'm sitting over here on Fox and Pond. Ain't never done no man no harm.

Well, I'm throwing that cotton in the lymphatic.

Well,

I'm throwing that cotton in the lymphatic.

It's all good, shotgun at my back.

Ain't never done no man no harm.

Do they, Lizzie?

Just get out of my face! I said I wanted you! I wanted you!

Mummy?

Will you not make so much noise? Now go and take your coats off.

And walk.

There you go. One set of road safety posters.

Thanks very much.

What's all this I hear about Greengrass being given an effect?

It seems that the school governors have persuaded the council that he's not a

suitable person.

Because of that pilgrim business?

So I'm told.

Well, there's no evidence he had anything to do with it. I know, but the

chairman of the board still felt that there was sufficient grounds for

And who's the chairman?

Councillor Pettigrew, actually.

And not the Pettigrew that Greengrass had that run in with?

No, his brother.

Frankly, I think it stinks.

What's the matter?

How bad is she?

Oh, she's unconscious but still breathing, Sarge.

She's obviously been beaten up.

The serious damage seems to have been done when she fell down the stairs.

Hmm.

A dangerous man to know, our Mr Ramsey.

It was him who did it.

It's pretty obvious what went on, I would have thought. He comes home

for succour, presumably, and when none's forthcoming, they end up having a

flaming row.

Yes, Sarge.

But, er... you have an alternative theory, do you?

Well, for starters, there's the bloke who turned up in court yesterday.

What bloke?

Well, I don't know who it was, Sarge, but Dorothy McGowan obviously did.

So did Ramsey.

It was only after you spotted him in the public gallery that you started kicking

up the way you did.

I don't get your point, Mark.

Well, Dorothy turned up at the police house the other night trying to find out

what was happening to Ramsey.

And?

Well, when she realised he was likely to be banged up, she got very agitated

about something.

And once again, you have no idea about what?

No, sir.

Well, until you have, I'll stick to my own theory, which means I want this

entire area sealed off. Because if it was Ramsey, he can't have got very far.

Hello. Is Liz still here?

She's in the rest area. I know Spalton's with her at the moment.

She's going to be all right.

Did I tell you?

How are you feeling now, Libby?

OK.

Do you want to tell us what happened?

She was just lying there.

I kept saying...

Get up, Bobby. Get up, will you?

And there was blood.

All this blood.

She's in for a bear shock.

What's going to happen to her?

Well, I've called the doctor. He's going to meet us at the hospital.

And then what?

Like your hoodies, she'll be admitted.

Well, at least that'll give us some wet stones and we'll sort something else

out. Right.

They're very upset, that Nick.

How do you mean?

Well, Ramsey doesn't appear to work for a living.

They obviously aren't short of money, though.

What makes you say that?

The other day, Lizzie turned up to pay for a school dinner with a five -pound

note. Plus, they've got a new car and a cottage full of new stuff.

Keep your ears open for any gossip. And let me know if you hear anything, eh?

Yeah. Have you got time for a quick drink while the pub's crying?

What, because we'd drink on me breath while Blakeson's on the warpath?

Oh, that's more than my life's worth.

See you later, though.

All right.

Bye. Ta -ra.

Evening, George.

Did you see Lord Ashfordly?

I saw him all right.

And?

It was about the rent.

You're going to have to double it, he says.

Double it?

So where does that leave you?

With two choices, I reckon.

Pay up and struggle to make ends meet or jack the pubbing altogether.

I'm not sure I'm up to struggling anymore, Tina.

Hello, Lizzie.

I bought you something.

From all your friends in class.

Aren't you going to open it?

Tell you what, I'll open it for you, shall I?

I hope you like it.

I don't know what his name is.

I don't think he's even got one yet.

Perhaps you could think of one for him.

Shall we pick one together?

Intensive care, Sister Green speaking.

You've had a Dorothy McGowan come in today.

Can you tell me how she is, please?

She's comfortable at the moment.

Can you tell me what happened to her?

Some sort of accident, was it?

How are you feeling?

Well, I felt better.

So what happened?

I don't know.

Well, can't you remember?

All I can remember is sticking my head out the door and then the next thing all

I could see was the door.

You're telling me you don't know who hit you?

Who or what?

That you were found by the door, Mrs McGowan, after you'd fallen from

Look, I remember staggering back inside and then... nothing.

So that's your story and you're sticking to it?

That happens to be the truth.

And where did these turn up?

One of the dog teams found them, Sarge. Clamped in a vice over at Robey's Farm.

So he's still in the area, then. But where, Rowan? Where?

Well, I think Dorothy McGowan might know, Sarge. She was definitely hiding

something when I spoke to her this morning.

I think she also knows who attacked her.

Aye. Derek Ramsey.

Don't make things more complicated than they are.

Will you check the Glasgow police? What was Ramsey's previous form?

Only a couple of minor misdemeanours.

Drunken disorder, that sort of thing.

Do us a favour, will you? Check with them again.

See if they've got anything on Dorothy McGowan.

Could you tell me which bed Mrs. Dorothy McGowan's in, please?

You're family, are you, sir?

I'm her husband.

Hello again.

Are you two in here?

Why, that isn't the husband's place to be. It's his wife's bedside.

When she's no so well.

How did you find out where we were living?

Your mother.

A nice enough woman, but she'll lose sleep when she's in drink.

I'm not coming back with you.

Who'd have you back?

My money, Dotty, that's what I want back.

Now, you listen to me, lady.

And you listen good.

Now, I'm already taking one hell of a risk coming here and having to get the

time to mess about. OK, now, just you tell me where you've stashed it.

No! Dorothy, I don't want to hurt you again, but I will if I have to. In fact,

I'd enjoy it.

Now, I'll ask you just once more.

Where's the money, Dorothy?

Where?

I swear to God, Annie, I don't know what you're talking about. Please, just

leave us alone.

What is going on?

Are you all right, Mrs McGowan?

Well, you struck gold with that query about Mrs McGowan.

Yeah? Her husband Arnold's a loan shark, a regular bloodsucker, according to

Glasgow CID.

So where's Dorothy fit in?

Well, a year ago she suddenly vanished with Derek Ramsey, along with a suitcase

full of Arnold's money, according to gossip.

Ashfordly Police Station.

Hang on a minute.

It's a hospital.

Mrs. McGowan's had a visitor.

Was he after his money, Mrs. McGowan?

The money you and Derek struggled with?

Did you tell him where to find it?

Army.

Oh, get in.

All we wanted was a good start.

Especially for Lizzie, you know.

There's no place to bring up a wane.

A house with a man like that in it.

With somebody else's money, right, Dorothy?

I'm not proud of what we did.

I never stole a penny in my life before.

You can get pretty sick of being used as a punch bag.

I mean, it was money you'd already stolen anyway.

But it's he charged people.

And Derek was one of them.

That's how we met.

So why didn't Arnold report the theft to the police?

What, and have it come out in court that he was bleeding half the city to death?

Anyway, that wasn't the army's way.

You wanted a word, Mrs Watkins?

I did, yes.

It's about the pilfering.

It seems that our suspicions about Mr Greengrass have proved, well, quite

unfounded.

Miss Weston caught the real culprit red -handed yesterday.

So it wasn't the lollipop then?

Two of our eight -year -olds, actually.

Well, where does that leave Mr Greengrass?

Well, see for yourself.

Yes. Bye, Miss Weston. Have a good go.

Hello.

How's Mrs McGowan?

Oh, she's on the mend.

She'll be back home tomorrow.

What'll happen next?

Well, we'll have to charge her.

She'll probably get probation.

Oh, congratulations, by the way.

On what?

On your detective work.

Pure luck.

I just happened to be in the gloat room at the right moment.

Well, the first thing they teach you at the police training school is you have a

slice of luck.

Take the credit anyway.

Hmm.

Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat Why does a love kiss stay in my memory?