Original subtitles

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does a love kiss stay in my memory?

Come here!

Alfred! Yes, Tina, you're a good little goat. Yes, you've been a good goat

today. A really good girl.

Now then, Jane.

Ah, good morning, Claude.

Nice weather for it.

Nice weather for what, though?

Whatever tickles your fancy.

Ah, those were the days, eh?

I wish I were 20 years younger. You could be my mother.

You cheeky devil. Go on, get away with you.

My dog, as much as I love you, so you may be,

my dog will always come through. All he asks from me is the food

to get him strength. All he ever needs is love, and he knows he'll get.

So I love my dog as much as I love you, so you may

be, my dog will always come through. Come here.

Come here.

Alfred.

Alfred.

Leave it.

You make me might not go far away from you.

Just what the hell do you think you're up to, Walker? You flaming lunatic!

You're trespassing, Greengrass. You are!

You heard.

Now shove off the pair of you.

It'll not just be the dog that'll end up with Buckshot. Oh, you, you know as

well as I do this is an ancient right -of -way.

Oh, yeah?

If I find one fellat in my dog, I'll have you, Walker.

You were right about that Raymond Walker, Charlie.

Right little Hitler, just like you said he was.

Something amusing you?

Well, just the thought of it, really.

Of what?

All those old days of yours doing press -ups and squats and things.

You can laugh, but keeping yourself in some sort of shape at that age can have

years on to your life.

I'll kill you off at a stroke.

It's what you'll have if you eat much more of that stuff.

Thank you, Phil. Hey, just the lad. Hey, I want to report a misdemeanor.

A misdemeanor? Oh, yeah. Look, I'm not in the mood. Me and him had just been

shot at by that flaming lunatic Raymond Walker.

Were you on his land?

It's got no to do with it.

How do you work that out?

Because it's one of them what? It's in the public right of way. Always has

always will be.

All right, leave it with me. I have a word with you.

You want to have more than one?

I'll suggest a few if you like.

Most of them end in off.

All right, son.

Step.

Step.

Good.

Excellent.

Over and ankle.

Wave over.

Over, two, three.

That's really good, Dorothy.

Swing.

Swing.

I could have made my own way down, you know. What's the point, Mother, when

got the car?

in with me, are you? Just for a minute.

Oh.

Oh, that's... And 12.

Right, ladies and gentlemen, if you'd like to relax for a few minutes, then

we'll do the next number.

No, we're just taking a little break.

Don't want to overdo it.

No, otherwise you'll have to give this lot the kiss of life, won't you, Doctor?

If you'd like to stick your coat in the office. Oh, yeah.

I can do it myself, thank you.

Could be worse.

She could be the sort that wants carrying around. The only time she'll be

carried is when she's in a pine box.

I, um... I would like a private word, though, Doctor, when you've got a

Of course.

Mr Walker?

Yes? PC Rowan, Aidensfield Police.

Oh, I know who you are, Constable.

We've had a complaint about you shooting at Greengrass's dog this morning. Have

you?

Well, now, if I'd been shooting at it, I'd be dead by now.

And if I had done, I'd be doing no more than any other farmer would have done

under the circumstances.

And what circumstances would those be, sir?

The dog wasn't even on a lead.

According to Mr Greengrass, on a public right of way.

I'm not in the habit of threatening people with guns, Constable. And not

scruff like Claude Jeremiah Greengrass.

Oh, by the way, did he also tell you that some of my sheep have been harassed

dogs recently?

Well, why didn't you report any of these attacks to us?

A bit late to send for the plot, isn't it? Once your animals have been savage.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I've a farm to run.

I've got a handful of songs to sing you. I stop my voice when it longs to

sing you.

New songs and blues, songs and songs to bring you happiness.

And I'm gonna love moreover wherever we may roam to.

Or any shore where we may be blown to.

We'll know that we're gonna feel at home. to rock the

music of jazz and jazz

good southern street vendor cry dreams

of old we play three time baby lullaby

got a handful of songs to sing you I've got a heart

full love to bring you true love for you love and love's a thing

you keep so here's a handful of songs

good and cheap just a handful of

songs just a handful of songs

I don't know how people can do that.

And, uh... Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

And just what is that? Enter it.

It's a kitten, Sarge.

I can see it's a kitten.

I mean, what's it doing in here?

Well, it's the one I told you about, Sarge. The one I rescued.

Who's thirsty, Sarge?

Here we go.

Ah, they're all mine. Eh?

Well, is it male or female?

Or haven't you looked yet? Oh, it's female.

So you're going to keep it, eh, Alf? Oh, I wouldn't mind.

Trouble is, the wife can't stand cats.

She won't have one in the house.

Oh, poor thing.

Tell them I want a word with him.

Right, Sarge. And you, Ventress.

In my office.

On your own.

And shut

the door!

Just what do you think we're running here, Ventress?

Pet's Pantry?

In case you've forgotten, this happens to be a police station, not a bloody

cattery. Well, what do you want me to do with her then, Sarge?

Well, now.

Let's think about this.

Shall we, Ventress?

You could try the RSPCA in Whitby.

I believe they'd be known to take a pathing interest in unwanted cats on

occasions. All right, Sarge.

It could come in quite handy, though, Sarge.

What could?

Well, having a cat about the place. I mean, we do have the odd mouse.

Just leave, Ventress.

Right, Sarge.

Two, three, four, back. Two, three, four, forward.

Back.

Step, knee, step.

Knee, step, knee, step, knee, and that's it.

And... Oh!

Right,

she's great. Before she does any more damage.

She's looking well enough now.

Oh, yes, physically.

But she's been getting very confused lately.

And now there's this new thing.

What's that?

She reckons that she's been getting funny phone calls.

You know, heavy breathing late at night.

What exactly are you saying, that you don't believe her?

Well, to be honest, Doctor, I don't know what to believe anymore.

Her nervous business with my father.

Your father? Well, you know he died last year.

She was getting over it very well.

But lately... Well...

I've come into the room on a couple of occasions and I've actually found her

talking to him, as if he were actually there with her.

I wouldn't worry about that. It's quite common.

Now, how do you think I can help?

Maybe you could have a word with her.

I'm not happy about her stuck up in that cottage on her own.

We've been on and on as I come and live with her, but she won't let me.

Leave it with me, Jenny.

I'll see what I can do.

Thank you.

A complaint about me, Sarge? That's right, Rowan. Who from?

A Mr Raymond Walker.

Oh, him.

Oh, rings a bell, does it?

As a matter of fact, Sarge, I had a complaint about him. Oh, aye.

From that well -known law -abiding citizen, Claude Jeremiah Greengrass.

Well, you know that Walker took a shot at him and his dog.

Oh, well.

If Greengrass says that's what happened...

You do realise who we're dealing with here, Rowan. He's not just the chairman

a local NFU, but someone with very powerful friends.

Oh, so because of that, he can wave a shotgun at anyone who happens to wander

across his land, can he? We're not talking about just anyone, are we,

We're talking about Greengrass.

Now, I want you to tell that scruffy reprobate from me to stay away from

Walker's farming future, or I'll have his guts forgotten.

Is that understood?

Yes, Sarge. Right.

Carry on.

I'm not going to answer it, Charlie.

I know what you said, and I'm not going to answer it.

Make him go away.

Oh, Charlie.

Oh, my.

Oh, Charlie.

Oh.

Oh, Charlie.

Oh, no.

Hello, Jane.

Hello.

Are you all right?

Yes, I mustn't grumble.

I've got the kettle on. Would you like a cup of tea?

That'd be lovely.

Right, come in.

Why on earth didn't you let my husband know about these phone calls?

What could he have done about it?

He could have got the exchange to intercept the calls and change the

number.

That's a lot of trouble to go to, isn't it? No, I just usually don't answer the

phone. But suppose someone really needed to get in touch with you.

Jenny, for instance.

Hardly likely at that time of night.

It's not just the phone calls that bother me, though. It's the other

What other things?

People banging on the windows late at night and banging on the door.

How long has this been going on?

Ever since I stopped answering the phone.

Look, I'm going to get Nick to drop by if that's OK.

If you like.

Do you like living up here on your own?

Well, I haven't got much choice, have I?

Jenny tells me she's been trying to get you to live with them for ages.

Oh, so that's what this is all about. I thought I saw you two nattering down at

the church hall yesterday.

Well, she's very worried about you, and I'm not surprised with what's been going

on. I'm all right, and even if I wasn't, I wouldn't dream of moving in with

them. Oh, but, Jane, you must get lonely sometimes.

No, I've always got my Charlie, and we never run out of things to talk about,

we, Charlie?

Who never settles down Where pretty girls are Well, you know that I'm around

kiss them and I love them Cause to me they're all the same I hug them and I

squeeze them They don't even know my name They call me the wanderer Yeah, the

wanderer I roam around and round and round and round and round Well, there's

Gold on my left And then there's Mary on my right And Janie is the girl

And when she asks me which one I love the best I tear open my shirt and show

rosy on my chest Cos I'm a wanderer, yeah, I'm a wanderer Hey,

come and have

a look at what Mr Iron Mighty Flaming Walker's done now.

Well, come on, leave it out there. Come on.

Well?

Well, what?

Right. I know you've seen it. You'd better get cracking and do something

it, don't you?

Like what?

What do you like? Make him take it down.

It's a public right away. Has been since Adam were a lad.

Adam who, Claude?

Oh, very good. You don't have to take chances. Look, this is serious.

I can't do anything. It's a civil matter. Is it?

Well, I don't feel very civil at the moment. If you're not going to do her

bad, I'll go and find somebody as well.

I can get up. You're right.

Come on, son.

Mrs Thompson?

Mrs Thompson?

Oh, hello.

You're a fan then, are you?

Well, my tomatoes certainly are.

How are they?

It's a well -known fact that plants respond very well to music, you know.

especially Procol Harum, eh? Oh, I prefer Herman's Hermits myself.

I think that Herman's a really wholesome -looking boy, don't you?

I expect his mother thinks so, yeah.

So how long have you been getting these phone calls, Mrs Thompson?

Oh, a few weeks, I suppose, on and off. And it's got worse lately.

And what about these noises outside?

Well, I've heard those two or three times.

And do they happen at any particular time?

It's usually just before midnight.

Have you seen anyone hanging around the place during the day?

No, I can't say I have, no.

All right, Mrs Thompson, I'll get the exchange to intercept your calls as from

tonight. Oh, it won't cost me anything, will it? No, of course not.

Now, listen, you lock all your doors, and if you do hear anyone prowling

outside, you ring me straight away.

All right, then I will. Thank you.

What's for lunch?

Pie, chips and Yorkshire caviar.

Yorkshire caviar?

Must repeat, you ignorant faggot.

They're good for you.

I suppose Greengrass does have a point.

Yeah, well, it happens all the time, doesn't it?

A landowner objects to having a public right -of -way across his property, so

quietly fences it off.

Then after a couple of years... Everyone's forgotten there was a right

there in the first place.

What about Jane Thompson?

Did you manage to see her while you were there?

Hmm.

What do you think?

Well, I told her to call me as soon as anything happens, assuming she hasn't

made the whole thing up. Do you think she might have?

I'm not sure.

She has got an imaginary husband knocking about the place.

You met Charlie then, did you?

Hmm.

His name did come up a couple of times.

But why would she make something like that up?

Well, maybe she's lonely.

I don't think so.

She could go and live with her daughter, but there's no way she's prepared to do

that.

I thought you were going to ring me, Mrs Thompson.

I was going to, but the phone isn't working.

Somebody's cut the wires.

You get no prizes for guessing who's doing that neither.

You have a theory about this, do you, Claude? I haven't, I haven't, I haven't.

Go on, tell him what you told me about who's been trying to buy this place off

you for the last few months.

Mr Walker.

Raymond Walker?

Of this parish.

He's made me one or two very good offers for the cottage lately.

You know, much more than it could possibly be worth, I'd say.

Well, why would Walker be interested in this place?

I've no idea, Mr Rowan.

They want a goldie.

This all happened when, did you say?

11 .30, 12?

Something like that, sir, yes.

What makes you think I might have heard anything?

Well, you don't live that far away, sir.

It is open farmland between here and Mrs Thompson's cottage.

I wasn't here.

Not at that time, anyway.

Well, would you mind telling me where you were, sir?

I was over in Ashfordly chairing an NFU meeting. I can't believe you suspect I

had anything to do with this business.

Just tying up a few loose ends, sir, that's all.

Oh, Mrs. Thompson tells me you've been trying to buy her cottage.

So? I want to knock it down, if you must know.

Knock it down, sir?

That's right, knock it down.

Ruins the view from my lounge window.

Thank you, sir.

That's who I just had on the phone, Rowan.

Raymond Walker, sir? No, but somebody who plays golf with Raymond Walker.

A certain influential chief superintendent from Division.

Have you gone off your head, Rowan, suggesting that Walker had anything to

with that vandalism?

I never suggested that, sir. Not in so many words, no.

Now, you do possess a map of the Adenfield area, I take it?

Get it out and draw a circle around the spot marked Walker's Farm, and from now

on, consider that a no -go area, as far as you're concerned.

Is that clear?

Yes, sir.

Good.

Mr Walker?

Yes?

I... Take it I'm right in thinking you still have to Jane Thompson's cottage,

I?

Yeah.

Well, I think you and me should have a chat.

It could be to both our advantage.

Very well.

You'd better come in.

You always said I shouldn't do this, didn't you, Charlie?

Like chopping off your roots, you said.

Well, you were right there.

I wouldn't have thought she'd have done this to us, Charlie.

Not her and Jenny.

Thank you.

You haven't seen her, have you?

Who?

Digby.

Chigsy? A kitten.

I thought you palmed her off on the vicar's wife.

She called me yesterday, didn't she?

Divided, she's not a cat person after all.

Morning. Morning, Sarge.

Is everything all right?

Oh, yes, fine, Sarge.

So when did you last see Tiki, then? Well, I locked her in a store last

Some pillock must have let her out.

There was a bit in that paper that might be of interest to you.

Mrs. Thompson.

Oh, she's gone.

How do you mean? I'm her daughter.

Oh, I'm Raymond Walker.

I've bought the place.

Mrs. Thompson left several days ago.

Where is she now?

She does have a daughter, I believe.

Yeah?

Mr. Bradshaw?

Yeah? I'm Dr. Rowan, Jenny GP.

Oh, the wife's not here at present, I'm afraid.

Actually, it's your mother -in -law I've come to see. She is staying with you

now, I take it?

No, she isn't, I'm afraid.

She isn't? No, she just refused point blank.

So where is she staying, then?

An old folks' home, High Lawns.

I must say, I was a bit surprised.

Yeah, well, you didn't see as much of her as we did, did you, Doctor?

Hello, Jane.

Oh, hello.

How's it going?

Oh, it's all right, thank you.

Lovely flowers.

They're from Mr Greengrass.

Really?

It's not as black as he's painted, isn't it, old Claude?

Not like some as I could mention.

So what made you sell up after all?

Bit of a turnaround, wasn't it? I don't want to talk about it, thank you.

Hello, Doctor.

Eric said you'd come round.

How is she?

A bit down, I thought.

Well, if it's being here that's getting her down, she's only got herself to

blame.

What do you think made her change her mind about the cottage?

I'm sure I've no idea, Doctor.

I'm just glad she did.

At least I can go to my bed at night knowing that she's somewhere where

are keeping an eye on her.

Well, I'd, um...

I'd best get myself in there, find out what's gone wrong now.

Bye, then.

Bye.

What would you do if I died?

I thought you already had.

Now, seriously, what would you do?

Well, I'd be able to park my car in the garage.

And I'd redecorate. You wouldn't get the chance.

Perhaps it was the greenhouse that did it.

How do you mean?

For Jane Thompson.

Having it vandalised like that.

Must have been the last straw.

Oh, I don't know.

She was so committed to that place.

There must have been something more to it than that.

Well, yesterday my life was filled with rain.

Sunny, you smile at me with really easy pain.

Oh, the dark days are done, the bright days are here.

My funny one shines so sincere.

Sunny, one so true, I love you.

What a truthful thing he said.

Sonny, I want to thank you for the fact from A to Z.

Cause my life was torn like windblown sand.

Then it rocked on when we held hands.

Sonny, what's the truth?

Having trouble with our nasal passages, are we, Roman?

There's a funny smell in here, Sarge.

Wanted something, did we?

There's a piece in the local rag.

Raymond Walker is building 50 bungalows on his land.

Come on, Roman.

That cottage can't occupy more than a quarter of an acre at the most.

Well, maybe he needs it for access.

That doesn't mean he'd smash down a greenhouse to get his hands on it. I'll

drop it.

Come in.

You asked me to bring the kitten in, Sarge. I asked you to get rid of it.

And this time I mean get rid of it.

What? Have I put down?

I couldn't do that, Sarge.

Very well, Ventress.

Give the kitten to Rowan.

Hang on, Sarge. If he won't do it, I won't.

Very well, Rowan. Ventress, give the kitten to Bellamy.

If he won't do it, I won't.

If the kitten may.

And if anybody wants me, I'm at the vet.

What's going on?

Maybe you can talk sense into the woman, Constable.

She's locked herself in there.

Silly old biddy.

Mrs Thompson.

Who else?

Look, I own this place now. I've got all this equipment standing idle.

Place ought to be down by now.

Can't you arrest her for trespassing?

Let me have a word with her.

You always said you could see right through that, Eric, didn't you, Charlie?

You always went with a mistake.

But would she listen to us? No.

Oh, no.

That's always been her trouble, Charlie.

She'd never listen.

Mrs Thompson, are you in there?

Who wants to know?

It's me, PC Rowan.

Are you all right?

Yes. Will you let me in, please?

What do you want?

Just to talk to you, Mrs Thompson.

All right, officer, I'll come quietly.

I never wanted to sell it in the first place.

So why agree to?

I didn't. It was Eric that agreed.

Eric? My son -in -law.

He said the last offer I had from Mr Walker was too good to refuse and he

he was going to accept it whether I liked it or not.

But it's your cottage, Mrs Thompson.

Well, yes and no.

And what does that mean?

Well, I signed the deeds over to them last year when I was so poorly.

They thought I was going to die in it.

Well, it seemed to make sense.

And you didn't ask them to be signed back to you when you recovered?

Well, I mentioned it, but he said he didn't see the point.

What, he refused to?

Well, no, the way he put it was, he said, why bother?

And after all, the cottage was going to come to them one day.

He'd no right to do that, Mrs Thompson.

And certainly not sell this place over your head like that.

But if the deeds are in his name... Signed over to him when you're in no

condition to know what you were doing.

You know, you could take them to court.

No, I couldn't do that.

Charlie had never forgiven me for that.

Not to our Jenny, because no matter what she's done, she's only ever done what

she thought was best for me.

Mr Walker?

Yes?

Could you clarify something for me, please? What?

Do you actually own this property?

Well, practically.

Does that mean no?

I don't like your attitude, Constable. I don't officially own it, but I do have

the owner's permission to demolish it.

Meaning Eric Bradshaw's? Of course.

Well, I'm afraid he almost certainly isn't the owner.

In fact, he may be facing an investigation to see if criminal charges

for. Huh?

He told me he had the authority to get her out.

Well, you'd better think again, Mr Walker.

You remember I arranged to have Jane Thompson's cause intercepted?

Yes. Well, I needn't have bothered, apparently.

They stopped after that.

So what does that prove?

Well, it doesn't prove anything.

It does perhaps tell us something now.

They found her.

They rang, you see. Said she'd gone out after breakfast and hadn't come back.

Is she all right? She's fine.

Oh, thank God.

No, it's all right, thanks.

So she's back in the home, then, is she?

Her own home, yeah.

Well, the cottage.

Well, that is where I found her.

She can't stay there, can she? It's been sold.

She says she never wanted the cottage sold in the first place.

It's a bit late to start talking like that, isn't it?

I thought you insisted, Mr Bradshaw.

It's for the raw good.

Anyway, what was it to you lot, anyway?

Well, for a start, there's the question of why you wouldn't return the deeds to

Mrs Thompson when she asked for them.

Also, these phone calls your mother's been getting, Mrs Bradshaw.

Yes. Well, she told you I was making arrangements with the exchange to have

intercepted. Yes.

And you presumably told your husband.

Of course.

Would your mother have mentioned it to anyone else, you think?

Doubtful, I should think.

Stuck up there on her own.

So you two were probably the only ones that knew about it?

So?

So, don't you think it's rather odd that they suddenly stopped?

that whoever was persecuting her changed tactics and decided to smash up the

greenhouse.

Just for the record, Mr Bradshaw, where were you the night that greenhouse was

vandalised?

I was here with Jennifer.

All evening, isn't that right, Jennifer?

Right.

You're quite sure about that, are you, Mrs Bradshaw?

Yes, I'm quite sure.

What are you getting at?

Oh, I'm not getting at anything, Mr Bradshaw.

I just wanted to be quite clear where you were, that's all.

And we know, don't we?

Right. Ready, love?

It's all right. We'll see how it goes out. Thank you.

You weren't.

Where are you, Eric?

What?

Here, that night.

You were down the pub until after midnight.

At least that's where you said you were.

Look, just don't start, all right?

It was you who smashed her greenhouse, wasn't it?

Wasn't it, Eric?

That means it was you who cut her telephone wires.

And them late -night calls, frightening the life out of her.

It was for her own good.

I mean, you said yourself you weren't fit to be left down there on her own. I

can't believe it.

Frightening phone calls to my mother!

You did it for the money, didn't you?

Or did you just do it for the fun of it?

I can't do anything right with you, can I?

All I do is because I thought you wanted her out of the house so we could make

some money. Well, I hope you're proud of yourself.

That's because all ladies like her...

welcome home Charlie I'll have to get you a new frame

Hello, Mum. Hello, love.

Come on, give me that bag, love.

You do realise, I hope,

that I'm only staying until I've found somewhere of my own.

Of course I understand that, dear. And I want you to realise you don't have to

do this, you know. I should never forgive myself if I thought that I was

cause of you and Eric breaking up.

Mother, I probably should have left him years ago.

Well, I want you to feel free to stay as long or as little as you want to. Only

on one condition, mind.

What's that?

That as of today, we finally let my father rest in peace, OK?

I'll put the kettle on.

Thank you, Charlie.

Greengrass is doing what?

He's suing Raymond Walker, Sarge, over that public right -of -way.

He says someone has to stand up for the community.

I don't believe it.

All right, Ron.

A message for you from the vet, Sarge. He says you left the inoculation

certificates behind, but you can collect them at any time.

All right.

Thank you, Ventress.

Heartbeat, why doesn't love just stay in my memory?