Original subtitles

DESERT ISLAND DREAM

A year on a deserted tropical island "Wife"

A year on a deserted tropical island "Wife" 20-30 years old, needed to accompany a man

... "Wife" 20-30 yrs, needed for a man +35v

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Gerald Kingsland, 94 Cumberland Av, London SW3

SECTION 1: Lonely people looking for company. Prices: £16.5 and £33.

A year on a deserted tropical island "The Wife" 20-30 yrs, needed to accompany a man +35 yrs

Enter information in the reply about yourself and your evening phone number.

Based on the book by Lucy Irvine

Time Out magazine Tower house, Southampton St., London WC2 1HD

Inland Revenue Area 3. Intelligence Point, Income Tax, Valuation Office

Then into the wading pool! Splash, splash. Come here, Catherine. Let's get you up.

You were very good. You dared well to be on your side. Oops.

I'll let your mother know how you're getting on.

Scoop and splash that water!

That's it, very good!

- And you at the bottom, come here and do as you... - Mr Kingsland?

- Oh my God! Are we too late? - You were great.

Rule No 1: Do like a swimming instructor and tie your own shoelaces...

- We'll be out of here in seven minutes. - I've been following you. Your swimming style is beautiful.

I have to go to make a phone call, excuse me.

Now Mr Kingsland's swimming lesson is over!

Do you want one?

- Whose are these? - Give them to me.

... you know that he's still out there?

Hi, Julian.

Did they dance in the dark Phoenix Park in the dark?

Did Shirley Parnell die and Mickey Dolla in vain?

Let's see what the bone says to that!

Where do you think it will take me? Strange coincidence for this bone, believe me.

They are not going to at least in your pocket, Jerry. Come on, you rascal!

I don't do Val Doonican! Let's get the money out!

Virgin bones are Sagan! Don't wave your hair, boy!

And you offer the following a drink! You win them all.

Not bad.

The attack took place as the Pope arrived St. Peter's Square to shake hands with the people.

Pope rushed to hospital for emergency surgery...

HOW I GOT AWAY ASSISTANT PRIEST RAPIST

Gender equality advocates will not listen to any objections.

Hi, I'm Kenny Steel.

... No, no, it was bad.

Beautiful.

Come on, Kim.

- Don't you know it doesn't work on Sundays? - You're the one who has to pay for it.

- Hi. - Hi. - Mary Richards is looking for for a long-term relationship. You can reach her at this number:

515-5290.

...can be found at the courthouse. 200 reporters have..

Lucy, what's it like at the Royal Academy? exhibition? I think I'll take Ronnie there.

- I'm trying to bore him With culture. - To be a teacher?

We went to see two ballet performances last week and he really hated them.

Sorry to hear that.

Nor did he like when we recited poems.

- Maybe I should go to sleep Toscon... Tosco, last week.

- You are both Philistines. - Actually, I like poetry.

even though I'm not crazy about it.

Well, what do you think Royal Academy?

Frankly, there is a risk, that you might even like them.

...the body of a 42-year-old civil servant was found in the garden of a justice of the peace.

...Peter Sutcliffe is charged with seven counts of for seven attempted murders between 1975 and 1980.

The last murder charge concerned a student Jacqueline Hill in Leeds in November.

After the hearing, Mrs Sonia Sutcliffe hid her face from photographers as she walked to her car.

The judge ruled that Peter Sutcliffe remains in custody awaiting trial.

the date of which has not yet been decided. He was taken back to Armley Prison.

Other charges included...

A YEAR ON A DESERTED TROPICAL ISLAND "Wife" 20-30 years old, needed +35 years old man...

...your husband is not a grown man, he still needs a diaper.

Everyone will know that he is a sickening wretch. I swore that he was...

said he was telling the truth, said he would take care of but if I hear his voice again...

- Turn it off. - What? - You think, You think I'm stupid? Cigarette.

Tobacco, cigarettes are for the elderly.

Your mother would be furious if she knew you were getting You're the one who gave permission.

- and before, that's why I Turn it off!

...did you? - Yes, of course. - You said I lied, so what?

What did you think I was going to do?

- What's that button doing there? - Paper pulp. I'm making a model.

- The French model is on the 1st floor. - I don't know yet what...

Tell me why his must always be French?

What's in the good old What's wrong with the old British whore?

-...others? - There were no others! - How many? - Half a dozen, a dozen, not sure...

- When you were here, or when you were away? - I was away, if that's what you want to know.

- If it's true. - Okay! While I was gone!

Why did you marry me? Why? Answer me!

You know why. - Why do you think I went There is no such thing.

You little rascal!

Why did you sleep with Beth? Are you ever tried to say no? Yes!

I'm here...

...don't you care? Of course I care...

- Hello? Excuse me? - This is Gerald Kingsland from the classifieds section of Time Out magazine.

- Sorry, I thought... - Were you serious? - Of course I was. Is this...?

- Good, everything is as it should be. Can we meet? Yes. Where?

Wait a minute...

...I wish you were dead!

- Russell Square Hotel, 7:30 pm?

Okay. Let's see if...

- Sexy, isn't she? - Shameless. - Who called? An old friend.

It was probably mine anyway. He owes me a tenner.

- Who did you call? - Someone I'm going with. for dinner tomorrow night. What are we doing?

To a friend's house.

We are dying here.

Please take your coat off the chair.

- Hello. Has Mr Kingsland arrived yet? - He's probably in the lounge. Okay.

Mr Kingsland? I'm Lucy Irvine.

- Thank God for that. - I beg your pardon? - To tell you the truth, I thought that...

- that lady over there would be you. - I'm glad it wasn't.

- Would you like to... - Excuse me.

- I wanted to ask if you can Yes.

- This is all so incredible. - Yes, it is. - Meet someone. I mean...

- A really good blind date. - It's not exactly...

We are not... It's not exactly...

Or actually, it is.

- Can I tell you something? - Yes. - You're the first woman, girl.

who I have interviewed, who has received made me feel this way...

- Would you like that drink now? - Yes.

- Not here. - Excuse me. - That way.

...surrendered to the authorities this evening. Their surrender...

happened soon after the plane, with 54 Pakistani passengers.

- Can I borrow your mascara? - What? - Can I borrow your mascara? - Yes!

...the release of hostages was at risk when...

Funny that I meet 8 candidates and I still have to meet 3 of them, but...

I don't want you to think that you don't would be exactly what I expected.

- It was excellent pasta. I'm absolutely stuffed. - Yes...

- It is important to do the preparations properly. - Pastan No, when you're living on an island.

Not like some idiot Robinson Crusoe, who suddenly noticed the entire ship's inventory...

- to be destroyed by him. - And he as her slave of sorts?

- Friday! - He had Friday too. Yeah...

Yes, it was. I have to arrange first everything, equipment, medicines, visas, etc.

Less important things, such as the fact that there are enough money. The right kind of island.

- Decent water tanks, a suitable partner. - In that order?

What do you do for a living? No, no, don't tell me! You're not a secretary, are you?

- Nurse? - Was that them? I don't understand.

Secretary or nurse. You can't be serious...

I work for the tax office, and I'm already heard all the jokes about it.

One of the girls I interviewed told me that she has a law degree.

I asked him: 'what's the point of that?' on a desert island?"

It was a joke.

Give me a woman who can cook and knows how to pitch a tent...

Can fish...

I would assume that a nurse could be useful there.

Think about it.

Although no date has been set yet the wedding will take place at the end of July...

and she becomes Princess of Wales. The engagement ring features 14 diamonds and a sapphire...

- Tuin Island, Torres Strait What? - Hi.

- I would like to find a toilet What?

- I'm just telling you that you get used to bad Gerald, Lara's here!

- I said that Lara has come to visit... - What?

- Like this. - Yes, that's right.

Yeah, no...

- How is Ronnie? - Good.

- How about you two? - Good.

- I think this is mine. - Yeah.

- See you before you go. - Absolutely. Okay.

- Bye. - Say hello To Ronnie. - I will. I will. See you later.

- Lara! - He's gone, Gerald!

FINE ISLANDS

- Un-fucking-believable! - Do you have a problem?No, no.

- No problem at all. Fuck! Retrieved from We've been looking for 3 months.

I'm not getting married because some asshole Australian bureaucrat insists...

I'm more like worried about the money, honey.

My company has paid for everything in advance. Since it's a modest publishing company.

we had to insist that the money refunded if the little adventure was cancelled.

Remember when we talked about insurance? You were against it, you said "no need".

- How much have we spent? - Everything. Lucy, there were plane tickets, debts...

I'm not marrying you to marry, Gerald, someone outdated immigration law!

- Especially over some debt! Lucy?

- Let's continue. You may kiss the bride. You have a wife now. - Great!

- Good marriage, Gerald. And it didn't cost I could have done with it...

- Thank you. I would take a large... - I'm going to miss you.

- Lucy, I'm sorry... - Next couple waiting, could you please move out of the room?

Chinese food is waiting, let's go.

- Excuse me. - How much longer? Do I have to have to keep bothering me, Gerald?

- It's... - Bigger. - It looks...

Let's do this.

- Probably a lot... - Couldn't be more beautiful, than... that sky and beach...

Gorgeous, now you together...

It is our home.

Give it to me.

- All the clothes are ruined here. - Come on. I hate this.

No!

- Sit down. - Have fun! - Thank you.

I would have done anything else.

- Get off the boat! - What about me?

Yes! Yes!

Great! Let's have another one. Go to a little to the left. There, stay there.

...that was a year ago. Very good.

Just look at that incredible beautiful sea! Stunning. A little to the left.

Come on, darling. There you go. Great!

- Look at this beautiful sea. - There. - We'll be right there, Gerald. Stay there.

- Cheers. - Bye-bye.

Come over here in the background.

- Where has he gone? He couldn't have gone far. - Where's the toilet?

- For God's sake, Janise! Use Use your imagination. Forget it.

- I arrest. Lucy? - What?

Lucy!

- Let me get a helicopter over here for a few Janice, don't! I just...

That's not the point of this. This is my my thing and I'm doing it. And so is Gerald.

Lucy! Welcome to Tuin.

Hi Janise, would you like to take a picture of what it's like reality of what it will be like on a desert island?

- Gerald, stop. - Joke, joke, girls.

I could take a picture of this one too. Don't move. Lucy, we're on a desert island.

- you know what I mean? - We take them I've got 50 boxes of Polaroid film.

Yes, I have Polaroid film too, dear.

Rescue is coming! Download from martinis in a glass! It's about time.

Two hours on a desert island. Come on. No more No more sand in your underpants. - What a bloody racket!

Here we come!

Jesus Christ! How long... - Oh my God!

- Did you see how big it was? - Hurry up, come on!

- Come on. - I can't believe this. - Come on, you two.

- Good luck! Take care of yourself. - Goodbye!

Donnie, come and help me in!

- Do you still love me? - Please send this letter? Good luck to you.

Let's go, darling. Bye-bye, my dears! See you later!

Ready. Bye Denis!

- The wave is coming. - Jesus. - Watch out...

Tea?

- I made more tea. - Awesome. It does taste good.

- What do you think of the tent? - Very good. There you go. - Thank you.

- What the hell are you doing? - Snakes hate vibrations.

Darling, a snake would need a damn drill to to get in. See how this one is made.

See, it's done made entirely of man-made fibre.

Very nice until we start building real shelter.

- I left the rice simmering, but it will soon be dark. - Okay, let's try fishing tomorrow, okay?

- I do not see here anywhere I'm sorry, I said.

that I forgot to buy it yesterday, when we were in Badu, sorry about that.

- What about the extra bags of flour? They were full of iodine, I told you about that.

- I'm sorry. - It makes me angry! - Lucy, I'm sorry!

- Surprise! - Don't do that!

I bet you thought I was I was asleep.

But I wasn't.

But now I'm lustful...

- and ready. - Stop it!

Have you ever been walking down the street and suddenly you notice that you're walking faster and faster...

and you don't know why? And then you discover that you passed a fishmonger's shop.

- Did you know that I hate dead fish? - You can't cook them alive.

I meant buying them.

I once read a book by Izaak Walton The Compleat Angler "the perfect angler".

And it was incredibly boring!

Then why did you read it? I said, why did you read it then!

Because I never stop anything I've started!

Bitch.

You know what, Lucy?

It's good that you have a man here. Otherwise you wouldn't have any of this.

- There are crocodiles here. - No, I don't think so. - Yes.

They are not nice, They're killers. - What?

Yes, I have read about them. They also kill people.

Oh shit!

That woman over there is Aunt Lucy and I'm this gentleman here...

and we have just arrived on this island. And here's a picture of you as you are now.

Gerald, what do you think about when you do ordinary things, boring things?

- Or what do I think then? - Yes, when nothing else happens.

The kind of thing I don't notice.

The first thing I think about is what what's going on around me and then I think...

Then I think... What a fool question. What is everyone thinking now?

I think about food and the like things like that. Is that weird then?

You never ask questions, like about life, about God...

or humanity.

I just want to know what inside your head, that's all.

My brain, it's like my cock.

It goes up and down as it pleases and sometimes it explodes with excitement.

When it seems that it does not does absolutely nothing...

you'd be surprised by all of it what it is capable of thinking.

Have a taste.

- Would you like us to change there one day? - Yes.

"Once upon a time, there was a young fellow called Rahti, who took a woman on a yacht,

was too lazy to rape her, covered her the sticks with paper and threw them conveniently at her pussy."

Lucy!

Lucy?

Lucy?

HOW YOU EXPRESS YOURSELF R.W. JEPSON

- Come on, Gerald, it's getting dark soon. - Yeah.

- Gerald, we should leave We should go back already, the fire's going out. - Calm down.

- We have plenty of time to light up That's another lazy worm. Yeah.

- I can't believe you found again another excuse to sit down. Yes!

That's all you do, but laze around!

Here.

Hi, Lucy! Come here! Come on!

Look, it's ready. I promised to teach you the secrets of the tango.

Gerald, we need shelter and food. This... Oh, my God!

Hey, I thought he wanted to learn something new while we're here.

This is not a fucking Devil's Island!

Gerald, I thought you would have taught to teach me how to fish today?

- We are eating rice today. - I counted the remaining sacks.

18 days, or 25 if we eat less. Multiplied by four, that's 100 days.

Lucy, I want to start growing food here. First of all, because it's practical...

and we need food and secondly, I've always wanted to do that.

Grow my own food on my own island.

I'll make sure we don't starve to death, Lucy, and I'll teach you how to fish, too.

But first I want to do this because I owe it to myself to prove to myself...

that I believe in our future and our co-existence here. Do you understand?

- Our lives can be these vegetables The sea is full of food.

Lucy, you can't live on protein alone. You'll die before your time.

You need vegetables, carbohydrates and fruit. Otherwise you'll die. Damn you, you'll die!

- Let's hope then that they start Let's pray for that.

- Are you praying? - Sometimes. Do you?

I often said "thank you".

The great philosopher ant once crawled in his pants- ...and I recognized the shame...

it belongs to a female. And it proves what you students of Kafka know about things

- Gerald, don't break your skin. "Gerald, don't break your skin." No, teacher.

- Push harder, Gerald! - Not above I can't get up that high. Harder! Come on.

Get out of there. Hit it there...

Now hit it there.

- Now try to get it. Let me help you. difficult. Now it's got a hole in it again. Oh, shit!

Now get out of there.

- Come on! - Gerald! - Oh, shit! Jesus!

Damn it, now they're everywhere!

- It burns so damn much. - It's all right, Gerald.

They must have been working for the devil. Bastards.

I think they did.

When you replied to my ad, you did you expect this...

...-shit?

Should Tuin be next the smaller resident of Tui?

Gerald, don't. Please.

I'm getting dizzy.

- What starts? - When we can't get any protein.

- We haven't eaten rice since last Tuesday. - Yeah, and just forever sipping tea.

Gerald? I don't want you to a fight between us.

Don't start.

- Gerald, don't want to offend you, I mean it. And I'm sorry. Lucy...

Have you noticed that you are always sorry? You've got this "I'm sorry" thing going on.

You're annoyed by it, aren't you? I'm scared to death when you get angry.

When we are on this island only just the two of us. It scares me...

and makes me feel guilty.

- You clever little shit. - I just can't!

Nothing has changed. I haven't gained weight or gone bald...

or forgot to wash my earbuds. I didn't haven't! Nothing's changed, girl.

None other than you. You have changed!

You have responsibilities, do you understand?

You lied to me and fornicated and seduced your way in here.

We still have it left 9 months and 26 days.

Let's see if we both last that long.

Stop this. Stop this!

Gerry!

- You were not good enough, Lucy! - Gerald, we need this for food!

- Don't let it get away! - Oh Christ, it's a shark! - Give me the rope!

- Careful... Come here, you... Come here, come here! - Come on!

Here it comes! Here, beautiful.

Yeah... you take it. And I'll...

Gerald! Gerry? Gerald!

Gerald?

Gerry, you can't leave it like this.

Gerry!

Gerry!

This is not fair!

I can't go looking for you!

Gerald!

Gerald!

Don't leave me... We are together here!

Gerald, can we talk? Gerald!

"There was a man from Leeds who swallowed a bag of seeds, and...

the grass grew out of his ass...

and the balls were covered with weeds."

Gerald!

Gerald!

Lucy?

I am sorry.

Excuse me! I went to the island on the other side of the island and...

I wanted to come back right away as soon as the sun came up, you understand?

I'm sorry!

I didn't mean to scare you, Lou. I didn't mean to, my love.

I am sorry. I'm...

Of these, the devil's bites are have started to get wet.

Do you understand?

Sorry, girl. Fucking sixteen!

Oh shit!

You know what Lou? I bet that even if I had some tobacco on me,

then I have forgotten how how to roll a cigarette.

- Oh, oh, oh... It's hot in here, isn't it? - Strange, isn't it? - Yes. - The changes.

You can say pub, bollard, bus or guy...

- But those words are lost Yes. They just...

are the images that have disappeared, haven't they? They're just...

votes.

- Yes. - Lou?

- Would you give them a little more some more water. For this. - Yep.

- And this. - Yes.

Pano and cold beer is right now the whole goal of my life at the moment.

You know what? On this island you could a whole new religion.

The religion of pano and cold beer.

Here it is.

Lucy, I said fuck, not roast.

You're quite a liar.

- What have I done wrong now? - Your whole character is a lie.

Pretend to read ahead, think or listen.

You pretend to be the kind of brat who, after getting a good fuck and a beer, you're happy.

Lucy, everyone is living their secret life.

- where even secrets have secrets. - Sure.

Women like to secure us for themselves, understand our thoughts and then guide us.

"He is reliable, he is calm and gentle and good with children."

"I know his true character", they they think, nodding with intelligence.

And then are surprised when the man suddenly doesn't do what they thought he would do.

Then they suddenly realise that they are not they never really knew...

give a shit about them.

Do you believe me now?

Oh God, have we been been here that long?

- So you've already thrown away your panties? - What? - You left the panties off.

Hupista. This cannot be read out loud to G. You must have a concave navel to make love...

with the sun's rays. I have the whole Tuin the most beautiful navel in the whole of Tucson. The ray comes straight from above.

when the sun is perpendicular to this with this part of the Earth, and then surely...

you will be completely enchanted.

The sun, the pole? Lucy...

- I don't even like the taste of these. - Gerald, at least you can eat them.

And I'm not allergic to them, like I am to sharks.

God... Did you know that...

my mother took us to collect beach huts when we were...

He was usually wearing a big apron, with a big pocket in the front.

Hair tied up in a scarf. He always wore a scarf. And he walked...

always in a circle, because he had made so much work.

It was a beautiful white bay when when the tide changed, we used to run...

He used to...

pickle them. I have not heard about picket fences on the beach.

Maybe they had some other name.

I have been thinking that why he made them that way.

Some evenings my mother would go to the main house, when it was the cook's day off...

to help in the kitchen. I have used to go with him.

When the staff sat down to eat I crawled under the table to play with a toy car.

But you know what I really did there?

I looked under the women's skirts. All of them white thighs, pantyhose.

panties and garters, and all the secret places of interest.

Gerry, because we're starting to do a decent protection? I'm going crazy in that tent.

How long have we been here?

It seems to me that the current day is much longer...

- than the first day we arrived Do you know that this place, Tuin...

could be the place where we die?

I always thought that I would come to die in England.

Do you ever think about food, Gerry? Home cooking.

Such as -

- fried eggs and potatoes and vinegar? Lucy, don't.

Or boiled potatoes cold sliced and pickled?

Have you ever eaten fresh toasted and buttered toast -

bone marrow clot and a little pepper marmalade?

Or bowls of fresh candied fruit raspberries? God...

Or tagliatelle pasta with cream sauce with sliced ham and spices.

And three big pints to go with it of beer with foam running down the side of the glass.

Lucy?

That was better than sex, wasn't it?

Lucy, don't...

Lucy, don't go. Lucy, wake up.

Your scent...

Lucy, you're dreaming.

You love me. The secret. Love...

Lucy.

...waiting for... pushes... deeper, Tuin.

I'll die for you... I'll lose myself, Tuin.

- Are you OK? - They woke me up.

- They are really painful, aren't they? Aren't they? Yes, they are.

- You were talking in your sleep. - What did I say?

Let's set the clock to start at exactly 12 o'clock.

Set the clock to exactly 10 o'clock.

Gerald!

Gerry!

- Gerald! - First adjustment... I'll be here at 13:00!

Gerald! - 14 o'clock! - Gerald, Gerald, someone's coming this way!

- Hide your tits. What? Oh my God, cover your tits!

- Hohoi! Anyone on the beach? - Anyone there?

Hohoi!

There are only two. Perhaps we need to be social.

- Hello! - Hi!

By law, you must fill in and return this census form.

- What? - Incredible, isn't it? They they insist that we come and bring this...

a population calculation form. Hopefully, you won't mind, but we'd have to...

- make some corrections to the accommodation. - We have no extra food here!

It's OK, we have plenty of food with us. You can take from us if you want.

It is very friendly from you! Thank you very much!

I know this is crazy, but here it is.

Here.

- Well, how are you here? We like the island a lot.

- I'm Rod Armstrong. - Hi. - This is my friend Jason.

- Hello, I'm Jason Menzis. - Hi, Jason. - Hi.

- You both look... - We must have to get along with each other so far.

We're fine.

Your boat looks great. A really nice boat.

Lucy.

would you make us all some tea? - Tea... Yes, of course. Come on.

- A great idea. - Thank you.

What was it?

This should help.

That hurts!

Here, have a beer.

- There's Gerald playing a joke. I bet you're not. you didn't know what it was like here?

- That's all we brought with us. - Lucy, have you noticed something?

Today is the first day you entertain anyone since you got married.

Yes, it is.

You must have a lot intimacy here.

- In the end, you will surely know everything What are you discussing here?

Of course, practical matters and then -

about our lives, memories and thoughts.

- I don't know. More like silent a silent conversation, actually. - Right.

That's what happens when people know too much about each other.

No need to pretend. Nothing to hide.

At least you are married.

If you were not, just think what you would demand of each other afterwards.

I for one could not let someone else go go their own way after such an experience.

I'd keep it for myself.

We only got married because forced by the authorities. They said:

"No sex in the desert island unless you have a marriage license."

- I find that a bit hard to believe. - It is, isn't it?

It could be worse, if there was no sex at all.

That would be incredible.

Oh shit.

It's not Gerald's fault. It's just the way he is.

It's me. I know that.

But he just lies there, and does nothing.

Without -

imagination.

I guess it's because...

I think it's partly because he's so much older than me.

And that terrible infection in his feet.

It's slippery there.

Good.

- Wasn't it...like this? - No.

- Here, and there, OK? - Okay. Yeah.

Show you.

I love this place. This is exactly what I dreamed it would be.

Where is Jason?

Lucy.

No, no, I'm married.

I am a married woman.

You're like a bitch in heat. You know that?

If you behave like that tomorrow. I'm going to beat the shit out of you, you understand?

You are a very strange person.

I don't understand you, Lucy.

Take it easy there!

- Funny couple. - I actually liked the old one He was an okay guy.

- but a bit of a wild man. - Tell me, charmer, did you get some?

I'm going fishing. Who knows...

- With the hooks and baits that they I defended you.

- I defended you because I was so You defended me?

Bullshit! You stuck yourself to them!

- Yesterday... - Yes, yesterday! What happened yesterday?

Did you give them both? One together in one hole and the other in the other?

- Damn you for pushing yourself on them, like a horny bitch! I didn't do anything!

This is all because of your stupid and distorted notion of loyalty!

I will say that I regret that I did not gave them! Now I'm so damn sorry!

- Lucy, you're a liar! - I ended up defending you!

They noticed everything, everything, just lying there...

useless, hopeless, reckless!

Really?

Really, Lucy? What is this?

Bird shit? It's a house, Lucy!

We know what this woman wants! Some blond, muscular, no-good, no-man's-land...

an Aussie who comes to the beach to introduce themselves. Yes, that's right.

No sex on the Isle of Tu, ma'am, or at least not until Jason and Rod come over.

I just wanted to be proud of you, that's all. I wanted to be able to say:

"Look what we have got here accomplished here. And how we have survived here."

And you know what? I couldn't even say that! There's your food.

- I'll be back! Lucy, don't! - Look at this place, Gerald!

Look what we have achieved here, look what you have done! Nothing!

A house?

It's nothing!

Hey, slut! This was your dinner. Now you're going to starve!

This is an old cemetery. The weather season is about to begin.

Yes, also my menstruation, or should have started five weeks ago.

- That's all we needed. - I can't be pregnant.

No. Forget it.

I can't grow vegetables without water!

Lou, what happened? What's the matter?

- What's the matter, honey? - I ate that awful...

Where did you get it?

God... Gerald... I think it's...

Lucy's condition looks the same, as described by Lienhard and McKenzie...

...produces a thick coffee substitute. The beans are edible...

and nutritious when cooked, but...

highly toxic when raw. In cases of poisoning...

- Jesus Christ! Excuse me. arrived a week later...

God is to be thanked for this.

Almost done, just a little more. Now let's have a look at your foot.

Mr Kingsland, what was your intention for that, for your wife to become pregnant on this island?

- You see, my wife and I... - No need a doctor's note to see...

severe malnutrition. I assume that his her periods stopped a while ago.

- It might be because my wife... - You have been very lucky.

Let me see.

Damn lucky.

- Don't take it straight away. It's a lot much better with water. - Sister.

Be sure to finish this antibiotic course. Take a tablet six times a day.

And these vitamins at least for a month.

And you Mr Kingsland, take care, that you get to the surgery in Badu.

- It's an appointment, sister. - Now we give thanks to Him to whom it belongs.

Sister...

...unprejudicedly afraid...

to believe in God Almighty...

- Do you have a yakar? - You're a taxi driver, aren't you?

What were you two gossiping about? - About horses.

Yes. Sister Winifred and I both are very fond of horses.

- Yes. - No, thank you. - I like dancing.

Tell me, I assume that... are you...

I mean, are you completely professional?

- I am on the state professional register I meant as a nun.

Sister Saint Winifred...

You are a very intelligent man, Mr Gerald! Well done, Gerald!

He fixed this!

Okay, I'll get you more food. And the gentleman gets more work.

Many engines in Badu do not work. As you will see, Mr Gerald.

You'll see, Mr Gerald!

They are very nice. So incredibly nice.

They are kind, generous, modest, hopeful and kind.

God, I love this rice wine. I think it's absolutely fantastic!

Did you know that they would like me to fix their old tractor next week.

And then the lawyer asked me to to look at their air conditioner.

- I wish you weren't. - What wouldn't I be? Nothing.

When you do nothing? All the bullshit when I'm not doing anything.

That's the real logic of a woman.

...people who listen now listening to the news...

... follow the weather forecast.

The East and South-East Gulf Sea is a lull of small waves.

North-easterly wind blowing at 10 knots at a speed of 10 knots.

For those who want to take the fun out of it the weather will be perfect for sailing.

Finally, listen to music.

Rainy season takes over Tuinin inhabitants of Tuin, who receive it with them:

despair, damp, cold, damage.

And too much of this damn water!

This is the story of my life, Lucy. This whole damn thing!

Yes!

- Here you go. For you. - I'm not hungry, thank you.

You're really not hungry.

Lou, stay for the discussion. You're good company.

- When you're not in Badiou? - You can You can come with me, they've asked for you.

No.

Lou, I know what this year has meant for you on the island of Tui with me and...

But the year begins will soon be over.

- What will you do then? - I don't know.

Mr Gerald! - Ronnie!

He is early, I have not received fixed this yet. Ronnie boy!

I hope that Tuin and I... I wish that we could...

- Mr Gerald! - Ronnie!

I don't know what to do with me is happening to me.

Because I've changed in the last few weeks ...so quickly, both externally and internally...

that I feel like I don't recognise the old me anymore.

It's so great to see G's confidence and self-confidence returning.

I never really knew him when he wasn't depressed.

Now I see his real friendly the side he had only spoken of before.

It is strange that he has almost forgotten to remind me that I'm superfluous...

an asshole who does not is not allowed to fuck.

But not quite completely forgotten.

- Keep, keep... - Go, go, go.

Bye-bye, see you in a few in a few days!

Goodbye!

- Hi. - Please come with the following Next time you come with me, Lou.

They make you feel feel like a princess!

Sorry that I went a day longer than I had planned.

I didn't finish everything by then. They're all amazing people there, Lou.

You should hear what Ronald says about you.

- Make Jayne Mansfield look old Who's Jayne Mansfield?

Did you invite me to dinner?

Look what I brought us for dinner.

Gerald, who am I?

Oh Lucy, I've pressed long I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired...

but very happy returning here to you.

I'm Lucy Irvine?

- Lucy shit! - Lucy Kingsland then, if you like.

Girl, woman, adventurer.

daughter and even a survivor. Gerald.

the only thing I'm really not...

i am not a mechanic's wife! And as such you are making me.

Didn't we come here to survive? Experience life on the island, using our intelligence...

our skills and originality. You're not even here anymore, Gerald.

- You're practically in the bath all the time either drinking or with women. Lucy.

- I've been there three or five times. - But when you're here.

so what do we have? A damn workshop where where people bring their lawn mowers to be repaired.

Gerald, you have diluted our relationship... It's over! Everything we talked about...

we planned and hoped how to live is over! All that's left is frozen and salted chicken!

This is a month old!

- I like that magazine. What? - The lamp.

Gerald, I'm very sorry, it's it's just that I had to be alone for two days...

- as well as last week. I... - Yeah, that too.

- Feels like me and Tuin didn't It's not like that, Lucy.

- I'm sorry I got so angry. Maybe it's just that here on the island...

we have... If we had sex, then there would be no need to go anywhere else.

So...

Right. Is that what you want?

- I apologise for my gloomy laugh. - Is that what you'd like to see?

Lucy, what I would like to see right now is you lying on your back...

hands behind your head and you you'd get fucked real good, like...

every other woman in the world, according to including some of the royal family.

Is that clear?

Does that mean yes?

"Yes" and pigs can fly...

Gerald?

Would you like to see the Rose prepare the bath?

- Lucy. - Excuse me, sir, but my name is Sleeping Beauty.

Sir, usually gentlemen get up up when a fine lady comes into the room.

- Lucy, don't. - Didn't you say you liked me?

It doesn't change what we said. Gone cannot be changed, only the present moment matters.

- Lucy, this isn't fair. - I want to I want to end my year on Tui with you.

Let's just stop it between you and me. Spend the night here, don't go to Badu.

Stay here in Tuin. We love you Every night...

around the island. Right?

- You're not going to Badu, are you? No. I'm not leaving the island until the year is up?

- You don't? - No.

- Okay? - Yes.

- No more Badua. - No.

Stay here in Tuin. Right?

Lucy, you are selling yourself.

You are a whore!

- I thought you wanted what Yes!

- There's nothing to it new. Okay? - Yes!

Colin Wilson - The criminal history of mankind

Lucy, come here!

Gerald, I need some light in here!

The wind has torn my diary!

- Lucy! - Oh my God, my diary is ruined!

Goodness, Gerald, this is not the time time for sex! Help me!

- We had a deal, Lucy! - Not in the middle of a bloody hurricane!

Show me where, and let's go into that storm. Let's go, show me!

- I don't want to, Gerald. - Lucy... - No!

Stop.

The past has a right to...

- Time, Lucy. There's no time. - There are only a few days left.

Now it's good. Lucy, for both of us.

Gerald!

Now is the time!

Lucy, I think someone's coming here.

Lucy?

Oh my goodness!

Hey, there seems to have been a really good destruction. We're fixing everything that's broken.

The workshop is ready, Mr Gerald, everything is fixed.

Ronnie old boy, don't just say that you've come here and taken everything?

- Ronnie, we are not yet Finished?

- Our year on the island of Tuin. It comes from full until... - September 16th.

- That was already last month. - No, no... Now it's just...

October! Lou, we have been on the Isle of Tui for a year!

We have spent on the island of Tui year.

Oh no...

Oh God...

Look, Mr Gerald!

Mr Gerald, look what we have here for you.

Workshop ready, Mr Gerald! Watch. Do you like it?

Yes, it's fine. Very nice.

Have mercy on my mistakes.

Lou?

Live a happy life.

OK, now back to the lathe!

I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU