Original subtitles

[♪ CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[CARRIE] The woman threw open her windows

to let the city in.

She could hear the horses coming and going

with their carriages,

each one bringing an exciting possibility.

[DRIVER] Let me get that for you, sir.

- [CAR HORN HONKING] - Have a nice day.

[CARRIE] The unexpected cool breeze on this hot afternoon

reminded her that each day

need not be an echo of the one before.

There are endless adventures to be taken,

if she simply dared to decide to take them.

[♪ CLASSICAL MUSIC CONTINUES]

Putting one foot in front of the other,

she stepped off the expected path

and vowed to go wherever a day might take her.

[DRESS JINGLING]

[♪ "THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKING" BY THE SUPREMES PLAYING]

[HEAVY FOOTFALL]

♪ You keep saying you got somethin' for me ♪

♪ Somethin' you call love, but confess ♪

[HEAVY FOOTFALL CONTINUES]

♪ You've been a-messin' ♪

♪ Where you shouldn't have been messin' ♪

♪ And now, someone else is getting all your best ♪

- [GROANING] - ♪ These boots are made for walkin' ♪

♪ And that's just what they'll do ♪

♪ One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you ♪

[HEAVY FOOTFALL CONTINUES]

♪ You ready, boots? Start walkin' ♪

[KNOCKING]

[KNOCKING LOUDER]

[♪ MUSIC ENDS]

[KNOCKING CONTINUES]

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

You are always walking in heels!

Um, guilty.

Click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

Click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

Have you no rugs? My God!

Well, I just... I haven't been able to find the right ones yet.

- A work in progress. - [SIGHS]

Hello. I'm Carrie. And you are?

- [SIGHS] - Wow, just furious.

Duncan Reeves. I'm sorry for my tone.

It's just that your predecessor never made any noise.

- She was bedridden. - Yeah. It was lovely.

Perhaps, for you. Not for her.

No, what I meant was... [SIGHS]

- She was quiet as a mouse. - A bedridden mouse.

Am I, um, correct in assuming that you're the new owner?

Yes, you are correct, I am.

I am. I moved in three months ago.

- Oh, my God. - But, um, in my defense,

you know, I'm... I'm really... I'm just walking up here,

you know, no... no, uh... no parties,

no rollerblading, no bowling.

Are you trying to be amusing?

I'm not trying to be amusing. I think I am amusing.

Oh, I see.

Well, this is a very inauspicious beginning.

- Would you like to come in? - No, I would not.

- Oh. - [SIGHS]

Look, understand, I'm not at my best.

- One can only hope. - It's been days,

and I'm desperately sleep-deprived from the...

- "Me" of it all? - [GROANS] I work all night long,

so I must... [SIGHS] sleep during the day.

It's crucial to my success.

Could you, at least, remove your high heels?

[CHUCKLING] Okay.

Now, you've gone too far.

- [MIRANDA] I'll have the grain bowl, thanks. - [SERVER] Right.

- [SEEMA] The burrata. - [SERVER] Yes.

- Thank you. - I'll have the goat cheese salad.

[MIRANDA] Ugh, should've got that.

My downstairs neighbor hates me.

My Airbnb neighbor blasts heavy metal all the time.

What does that have to do with me?

It's hardly like I'm headbanging up there.

No, I'm just agreeing. Neighbors are the worst.

- Continue. - Where did this guy even come from?

London. I told you about him during the sale.

He comes to New York six months out of the year.

Seema, I can't live with an insane man

under me for s... half a year?

Insane? Insane how?

He asked me... to take off my heels.

[TRAY CLANGING LOUDLY]

[PATRONS GASPING]

- Yeah, he gets it. - [LAUGHTER]

- To play devil's advocate... - Mm-hmm?

...taking your shoes off at home is more sanitary.

To play Devil Wears Prada advocate, I have rights.

A woman's right to shoes.

Well, clearly, you can't live like that.

- [CARRIE CHUCKLE SCOFFS] - But getting someone

evicted in New York takes years.

- [CARRIE GROANS] - We might just have to kill him.

- [MOUTH FULL] Okay. - [MIRANDA LAUGHING]

And to be clear, this is not me, this is him.

I have never ever had a problem with a neighbor. Never.

Not till this Duncan Reeves fella.

Duncan Reeves, Duncan Reeves?

He writes those massive biographies.

Harry has been reading his Henry VIII

for five years.

Read it in a weekend. Loved it.

[CARRIE] Oh, my God, I didn't even make the connection till now.

I was too distracted by the angry spit bubbles

in the corner of his mouth.

[SEEMA] Okay, so you're both writers.

Now, you have common ground. Crime scene averted.

Good, because I don't know how to compost a body.

Well, I don't know if we have "common ground."

He said he needs absolute quiet

- to write, and I... - Carrie!

I've been waiting years for Duncan Reeves' next book.

According to Goodreads, he has writer's block.

Take your damn shoes off.

Miranda, I don't care if William Shakespeare himself

is renting under me.

[CHUCKLING] The heels do not come off.

Should I buy my cranky downstairs neighbor

- a welcome gift? - [CHUCKLING] Yes.

- I think you should. - Aw. I'm not surprised

- you said that. - [LAUGHING]

So, how are you feeling about where you and Aidan are now?

Um... to be honest, it's...

- it's kind of a relief... - Mm.

...to not be thinking about what I should be doing

every day about it.

- It's out of my hands. - Wow.

That is so far past any ability that I would ever have.

[CHUCKLES] I'm just being more realistic...

- Mm. - ...less romantic.

But the romance is still there?

Sure. Oh yeah.

It's just, uh, living under the reality.

- Mm. - We love each other very much,

but he can't be my everyday fella right now,

so I just have to give up the expectation

of a big, romantic, music-swell resolution.

- Hmm. - [CARRIE CHUCKLES]

It's so hard.

I don't know what I would do without Harry every day.

Waking up with him, going to bed with him...

Well, happily, you don't have to.

[♪ LOUD, MUFFLED HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Motherfucker.

[SIGHS]

[♪ HEAVY METAL MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]

[♪ HEAVY METAL MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]

[♪ MUSIC STOPS]

Thank you.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

[CHARLOTTE] Oh, I'm loving our little after-dinner walk.

We should do this more often.

Actually, there's kind of a reason

I wanted to come on this walk with you.

To get away from the kids? Me, too.

Well, it's not really about the kids.

I-I... I need to talk to you about something.

- Um... - Oh.

Do you remember when I wet myself at the club?

Mm-hmm.

And then, ya know, there was the trouble in the bedroom.

- Yeah? - Well, you know,

I decided to check it out, you know, just in case.

And, what do ya know, I got prostate cancer.

Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God! Oh, my God. - Keep it together, keep it together.

Keep it together, honey. Everything is gonna be fine.

We caught it early.

Oh. Oh, Harry...

Hey, hey, hey, listen.

Prostate cancer has a 98% survival rate.

Okay? Lots of men get it.

Robert De Niro, uh, Warren Buffett,

Nelson Mandela.

- But he died! - At 95!

Listen to me, I promise you,

I am not gonna die for a very long time, okay?

Okay?

You say "okay."

[SOFTLY] Okay.

I just want you to do me one favor.

Anything, baby.

Don't tell anyone.

Not the kids. Not our friends.

I don't wanna be the cancer guy.

I'm... I'm gonna quit my job so that I can take care of you.

No, no, not okay. Not gonna happen.

'Cause then I'll be back to 100% and you'll be 100% out of a job.

So, no. Okay?

Say "okay."

[SOFTLY] Okay.

So, I...

I... I guess we should cancel

the... the camping for this weekend?

No way. I've been looking forward to it.

No, it's gonna be glamping as usual.

We are okay.

[HARRY SIGHS]

[CHARLOTTE SIGHS]

My flight from Atlanta doesn't land

till 4:00 on Friday

so you'll have to get the kids to Governors Island

- and I'll meet you there. - Hold up, hold up.

Meet who, where, what governor?

Governors Island. We're going glamping

with the Goldenblatts this weekend.

Since when? You never told me that.

Yes, I did.

I don't have to sleep on the ground, do I?

No, Henry, it's glamping. There'll be big fluffy beds.

I-I'd like to think that I would remember a word like "glamping."

- Honey, you never told me that. - I told you.

- But did you? - Mommy told me.

As soon as she gets back from shooting her documentary,

we're gonna make s'mores!

Oh, wait, Lis, I... I'm supposed to do

some "regular guy around town" press pics

for my campaign this weekend.

Me eating a hot dog, me on the subway...

You, glamping. Hot dogs and subway

- will be there on Monday. - [PHONE CHIMING]

- Okay, so my car is out front. - [HERBERT SIGHING]

No need to pack, the kids' stuff is ready to go.

And, just checking, you did hear me say, "No need to pack"?

Yeah, yeah, I heard all of that.

What I didn't hear was "glamping."

I told you.

But did you?

- [♪ PLAYFUL JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING] - [KISS SMACKING]

[HERBERT CHUCKLES]

- Mama loves you! - Love you!

- Love you, Mom. - Love you back. Be good!

You just quit your job, Miss Patel?

My company was sold out from under me,

after 20 years of building it.

How on Earth did that happen?

Well, honestly, Linda, I'm still reeling.

I trusted my business partner,

and he sold his shares to a bigger company

and thought he could just trade me

like some sports player, or a wife.

So, I decided

to go out on my own, invest in myself.

- Admirable. - And I'm a good investment.

I was that company, I did all the work,

and the man with slightly more power

- got all the credit. - [SCOFFS]

You feel me, Linda?

I will have to run this by my supervisor.

He's gone for the day. If you feel me.

Oh. I feel you.

So, Linda, I found a chic,

surprisingly affordable office in Tribeca,

and I just need a small business loan to secure the space.

It's going to be a tough sell

with no guaranteed income, though.

You also have a lot of overhead. Expensive clothes, dinners...

I mean, do you really need a driver?

I do. My job is all about appearances.

When a prospective client sees me get out of my Mercedes

and walk into a building, it says, "baller."

It says, "She knows."

So, woman to woman, Linda...

I hope you can help.

As I said, I'll run it by my supervisor.

[QUIETLY] He's just awful.

Aren't they all?

[♪ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

[KNOCKING]

[SOFTLY] Hi.

- Welcome Wagon! - I beg your pardon?

Oh, that's, um, something that we say here in America

when someone, uh, joins the neighborhood.

So, welcome.

This is for you.

That's, uh, totally, uh, unnecessary.

- [TEA KETTLE WHISTLING] - But, um, I... I must get the kettle.

Um, come in.

[CARRIE] Oh, you did say, "Come in," yes?

I don't want to be accused of breaking and entering

and walking in heels.

Right. Can I make you a tea?

Thank you, no. I... I won't... um, I won't stay.

I will point out there's a lovely tin

- of Earl Grey tea in the basket. - Huh.

It's from Tea Time, around the corner.

In fact, all of the items in the basket are, um...

sourced locally from the area.

I did all your exploring for you.

Oh, that's very kind of you.

But I don't explore. I come here just to write.

What, you're a writer? [CHUCKLES]

Wow, that's so funny. I'm... I'm a writer.

I'm sure we write, you know, write very differently.

I'm one of those writers who sleeps at night

and walks in her apartment.

Wow, nothing? Not even a smile?

I didn't come here to smile, either.

I sense a little smile under there.

Then you must write fiction.

- [BLOWING] - Ooh.

Ah! Actually, I have something for you.

Look, um, I was aware

how I must have come across to you.

- Unrealistic, rabid... - Hmm.

...uh, even a touch mad.

Aw, your words, not mine.

[CHUCKLES] Well.

- I can't im-imagine what... - I feel certain

that these will help our situation.

Oh. [CHUCKLES]

[PLASTIC CRINKLING]

Well. I...

I appreciate the thought.

But I'm... I'm allergic.

Allergic to what?

To whatever this is.

And to be perfectly honest,

I'm not even sure I can walk without heels.

But, I promise,

I will soon have a thick rug,

and I will do my best not to disturb you.

[♪ PLUCKY MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, and, um, what of the archaeological dig

that appears to be happening outside in the garden

starting at 7 a.m. every morning?

I'm replanting the garden.

And when it's done, I hope it's a space we can both enjoy.

- I enjoyed the old one. - It was a rat superhighway.

But, please, enjoy the welcome basket

and your no smiles.

I was just attempting to make this awkward situation better.

This is New York City. There's noise.

[CAR HORNS HONKING]

[♪ PLUCKY MUSIC CONTINUES]

[DOOR SLAMS LOUDLY]

[FOOD PROCESSOR WHIRRING]

Char, are you okay?

[MOUTH FULL] You seem very distracted.

Oh, no. No, I'm fine. I'm fine.

- Don't worry about me. - [RICHARD BURTON BARKING]

[LILY] Mom?

So, we've been thinking...

Rock, do you wanna take the lead?

Yes. We are a unified front.

- We don't want to go glamping. - You're going glamping.

- Okay, I'm out. - Uh... [SIGHS]

I thought you were vegan now.

- [RICHARD BURTON WHINING] - Ah, shit.

I keep on forgetting.

Well, I can't go. I have plans with Diego.

You have plans with your father this weekend,

and he is really looking forward to it.

Daddy will be fine.

You don't know that Daddy will be fine.

It's just stupid glamping. I'll ask him.

You will not ask him!

You will not put anything negative

on this fun, fun thing that he wants to do.

This is a positive, positive event.

- You don't understand. - Mm! She's still going for it.

I split Diego's weekends with his boyfriend.

- And if I'm not there, Eric gets both nights. - Eric.

And that puts me at a disadvantage.

Lily, you are spending the weekend

with your family. End of story.

I am sure that you can make up this time

with your polyamorous, polysexual boyfriend

some other weekend.

[LILY GROANING]

Can you believe this is parenting now?

No, Char, I cannot.

I miss cheese. So much.

- Then, eat some! - [ROCK SIGHS]

So, he hands me this sad, thin little package,

and I open it, and inside,

full-on pink nursing home slippers.

- [♪ HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING] - What? No fucking way!

I know. I mean, come on, do I really look...

No, not you.

The owner of my Airbnb just texted

that there's nothing he can do about the music

because he isn't even supposed to be Airbnb-ing!

What the fuck?!

Are you always reading texts when we're talking?

Just when we're on the phone.

Okay, just come stay with me till you find a place.

I... [SCOFFS] I should have offered earlier,

but, honestly, I forget about the extra rooms.

I... I still identify as a studio apartment owner.

Thanks, but you like your space,

even if you do have too much of it.

I insist.

Okay, then what I should have said

is I like my space.

My realtor is so lame.

Hey, do you think you could ask Seema

if she could help me find a place super quick?

Oh. Oh, I don't know. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] I don't know.

You know, she deals with all these really big properties

with these huge commissions,

and, you know, you're looking for a two-bedroom.

She's unemployed.

Okay, then what I should have said

is I don't wanna mix friends and business.

It's too risky.

Got it.

I have to deal with this.

Bye.

[SCOFFS]

[♪ LOUD HEAVY METAL MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]

[♪ HEAVY METAL MUSIC INCREASING]

Hey! If you slide another note under my door,

I will fucking cut you to pieces.

[SCREAMING AND PANTING]

I really appreciate this.

Of course. Come in!

I mean, it's New York. I've seen naked.

- But naked with a meat cleaver? - Mm, that's fresh.

- [CHUCKLES] - Oh, I'm so glad you're here.

It's gonna be fun.

It's gonna be like, um, like when we shared that place

in the '90s on Bank Street.

- Oh, yeah! - [GASPS] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[WHISPERING] Maybe don't roll the suitcases so hard.

- Oh, sorry. - No, it's okay. It's okay.

Any better on the home front?

Uh, well, no shots fired,

but the war is far from over.

Oh!

You finally got some couches!

Oh! Could you take your shoes off?

Seriously? You're still wearing yours.

Yeah, but I know how to walk in them.

- It's just a fact. - [KNOCKING]

Oh, damn, he heard you.

- Shots fired! - [DOORBELL RINGING]

Sorry.

You notice how you can barely hear me?

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

- Hello. - Delivery from 1stDibs.

Oh! Um, wow, I'm not expecting anything.

Uh, Eight Gramercy Park West.

Yeah, from an Aidan Shaw.

[♪ SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

- [CARRIE] Oh, my God. - [DOOR OPENS]

Oh, my God!

- [SIGHS] - It isn't Duncan Reeves?

[CARRIE] Miranda, look! It's the table someone bought

before I could.

Oh, my God, that someone was Aidan!

He must have... he must have bought it

after I told him how much I loved it.

- [MIRANDA] Aw. - That's very romantic.

- [MIRANDA CHUCKLES] - Wow, it is! It really is.

And I've seen a lot of romantic shit.

Oh! There he is.

[CAR HORN HONKING]

Hi! [SIGHS]

Hi. They're gonna be very quiet.

[MIRANDA] Hi. Big fan.

- Oh. Just here? - Could I get you to sign Winston Churchill?

What? Hey, where did that book come from?

[MIRANDA] Do you mind, Mr. Reeves?

- [CHUCKLES] Not at all. - [MIRANDA] Oh!

I'm Miranda.

Guys, don't forget the booties.

Oh, no, no, the booties, um, won't be necessary.

She has no rugs.

- [MIRANDA] Thank you so much. - [DUNCAN] Pleasure.

[MARION] So, what do you think if I cut in

the Atlanta neighborhood footage in right here

after the mother's letter?

[LISA] God, I'm gonna be late.

What is the hold-up?

Why can't they just open the damn door?

Well, at least the door stayed on the whole flight.

- That's a win these days. - Yeah, I'll laugh at that on Monday.

- [CHUCKLES] - [PLANE DINGS]

- [LISA] Oh, thank God. - [MARION] Yeah, no worries.

Okay, no, yeah, I'm gonna... okay, you go ahead.

No, no. Yeah, thank you.

You first. [GRUNTING] You're... yeah, you're in a rush.

- Okay. Okay, sorry. - Okay, yup. Alright.

- A lotta leg there. - Yep, okay.

Sorry, it's just that my bag is back there, and, um...

no, 'cause someone used the space above my seat.

- Thank you. - Okay, people, let her through!

- Family emergency here, come on. - Thank you.

- She has to go glamping! - Not helping!

I know it doesn't seem urgent, but it is.

She's a wife, mother of three, she's doing it all!

- [CHUCKLING] You're crazy. - I am.

- I'll see you on Monday, Marion. - Okay.

[LISA] Oh. Sorry. Excuse... sorry! Oh!

It's a man's name, too.

- Alright? - [PASSENGERS CHATTERING]

It's a man's name too, Chalamet.

- [SHIP HORN BLOWING] - [BIRDS CALLING]

[♪ UPBEAT JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING]

[HENRY] "The native Lenape tribe

"referred to Governors Island as Nut Island

"because of its rich collection

- of chestnut, hickory, and oak trees." - [HARRY] Hmm.

- [CHARLOTTE] Wow! - [GABBY] Stop quoting Wikipedia, Henry.

Mommy says it's not a primary source.

There's a spa here somewhere, and you can rent go-karts.

That is just so native Lenape.

I'm here!

- [GASPS] Yeah! - Hey!

[OVERLAPPING GREETINGS]

This place is amazing!

Who's ready for glamping?!

[GROUP CHEERING]

- Hi! - Well, it's about time.

You were supposed to be here an hour ago.

Well, four hours ago, I was in Atlanta,

so it's kind of a modern miracle that I even made it.

- Give it up for Mom! - [CHARLOTTE] Yay, Mom!

[GROUP CHEERING]

So, how are the Goldenblatts enjoying our weekend getaway?

It's more of a hostage situation.

- Lily, stop. Right now. - [INSECT BUZZING]

Ah! [HISSING]

Got it.

Jesus, will you look at the size of that thing?

It's like a new breed of mosquito.

- Yeah. - Is anyone else getting bit?

- [GABBY] Nope, I'm not! - No.

- Not me. - [HARRY] What?

- It's like my third one! - [CHARLOTTE CHUCKLES]

Did someone give the bastards my blood type

- and a map to my head? - Aw.

Well, now that Mommy's here, who wants s'mores?

- [OVERLAPPING AGREEMENT] - Not this mosquito, he is full.

S'mores, s'mores, s'mores!

- [HARRY] Yuck! - Baby, are you okay?

[MUTTERING] It's like they're coming for me.

Aw.

Alright, we've got marshmallows.

We've got graham crackers. Uh, let's get the fire going.

And, uh, Mom will get the chocolate for the s'mores.

Yep. Okay, where's the chocolate?

What do you mean, "Where's the chocolate?"

- You're supposed to bring it. - What are you talking about?

No, I told you, I forgot to bring chocolate for the s'mores.

You never told me to bring the chocolate.

Okay, Lisa, when we were on the phone,

before you got on the plane, I told you.

- But did you, though? - Lisa, I told you.

Honey, I've just been roaming around Atlanta airport for hours

with hundreds of places to buy chocolate,

- if you had just told me. - I...

Okay, what is the big deal?

There's chocolate in the gift shop! Okay?

It is chocolate, not cancer!

[SHIP HORN BLOWING]

I'm sorry.

[MOSQUITO BUZZING]

[GROANING]

[♪ VIBRANT JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING]

[SHOE MEWS]

Hey. [WHISTLING]

[TEXT WHOOSHES]

[SOFTLY] Really?

[KEYPAD CLACKING]

[CHUCKLES] Hey!

Samantha says that Duncan Reeves is known to be fun.

Well, he's, like, 6'5", so that's her kind of fun.

- Do you have a minute? - Sure.

- [GASPS] You look nice. - Thanks!

So, it's my first sleepover at Joy's,

and I'm wearing this jumpsuit so I won't be walk-of-shaming it

tomorrow morning in sexy clothes.

But is this outfit too "I don't care"?

No, no.

- No? - Hmm.

- Wait a minute. - What?

- Um... - [DRAWERS SLIDING]

No, no, no, no.

[GASPS] Yep, here it is.

[GASPS] Oh, my God, so pretty!

But I don't wanna take anything designer-y.

- What? - Remember when I lost your...

Oh, my Sonia Rykiel Domino bag?

Yeah. No, I... I forgot all about that.

Now, here, take it, take it, really.

I got... I got it at a tag sale

- on the street, it's nothing. - Are you sure?

Yes! [GASPS]

Oh.

[CARRIE] It's perfect.

♪ I saw the sign or an omen on the branches ♪

[SIGHS] Don't let me forget this.

Long story.

Oh, I look forward to hearing the scarf saga.

[LAUGHING]

- [KISSING CONTINUES] - [DOGS WHINING]

[DOGS WHIMPERING]

Oh, hold on, let me remove the voyeurs

- from the picture. - [CHUCKLES]

- Come on, Sappho. - Oh.

- Come on, Socrates. - Should I help?

No, it's better not to touch them.

Italian Greyhounds are notoriously litigious.

- [LAUGHING] Oh, really? - [JOY CHUCKLES]

[DOOR CLOSES]

You look very right in here.

Do I?

[♪ "CARDINAL" BY KACEY MUSGRAVES PLAYING]

[DOGS WHIMPERING]

[JOY SIGHS]

Excuse me.

[WHIMPERING CONTINUES]

No. Unacceptable!

[SIGHS] I'm so sorry. They're not usually this fussy.

It's just, I... I rarely invite people to sleep over.

Oh. You don't?

No, and you can take that as the compliment

I intended it to be.

[DOGS WHINING]

[SCOFFS] Why didn't I get cats?

[WHINING CONTINUES]

[CARRIE GROANS LIGHTLY]

- [SHOE PURRING] - [CARRIE SIGHS]

[♪ PLUCKY MUSIC PLAYING]

[SHOE MEWS]

[SIGHS] Shoe, please. I'm trying to sleep.

[SHOE MEOWS]

[CARRIE SIGHS]

Come here.

Now, we've talked about this, right?

Goodnight.

- [FLOOR CREAKING] - Miranda?

[GASPS] Oh, Jesus!

Gosh, I thought... I thought you were at... at Joy's!

Her dogs wouldn't stop whining, so...

[CARRIE] Okay. Goodnight.

[THUDS] Oh!

- You okay? - Oh yeah.

- [MIRANDA] Good night! - [DOOR CLOSES]

[♪ GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]

[CARRIE] Oh!

You're wearing clothes.

What was that? You've seen me naked before.

No, I know. It was just so unexpected.

The only thing missing was a meat cleaver.

[LAUGHING]

Um...

is that my last yogurt?

Um, you don't eat yogurt.

- Yes, I do. - Since when?

Mm, since I'm 50.

Who... [SCOFFS] whose yogurt did you think it was?

I... I don't know, like, a house yogurt?

[SCOFFS] A house yogurt?

Okay, come on. I just woke up.

I'll... I'll get you more. It's just a yogurt.

And the last banana?

You eat bananas now, too?

All you used to have for breakfast was a cigarette.

- Oh, man. That sounds so good. - [MIRANDA CHUCKLES]

[JAMIE] Why are we stopping?

[ADAM] Ah, he didn't mean anything.

[JAMIE] Why is he so mad?

[ADAM] He's just a neighbor. Come on.

Hey, why is Adam just sitting there?

Oh. Duncan yelled at him.

I watched from the window.

While opening the last yogurt?

Yeah, it was a whole thing.

Oh, dammit.

I put down all these ugly runners for him.

And it was a... it was a rush charge.

- Mm. - Isn't that enough?

[CARRIE SIGHS]

Good morning, fellas.

Please resume working.

- Go get back to work. - [JAMIE] What's his problem?

You want the rest of the banana?

Mm, sadly, I do. Thank you.

- [♪ BRIGHT UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] - [PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[TENT UNZIPPING]

- Hello! - Zip up the tent behind you!

[SPORTS COMMENTATORS SPEAKING ON PHONE]

All the way, all the way!

- Thank you. - [CHARLOTTE SIGHS]

Okay, the three of you have been inside here all day long.

Let's all go for a walk along the pier.

I'm not going out there.

They're just gonna come for me again.

- Shh. Shh. - [INSECT BUZZING FAINTLY]

Ugh, dammit.

I think one might have gotten inside.

[SCOFFS]

Hey, Dad looks like Kenny from South Park.

"Oh, my God! They killed Daddy!"

- Hey! That is enough of that. - [CHUCKLES]

Everybody, put your phones down!

This is supposed to be quality family time.

It is too valuable for everyone to be on devices.

Babe? Mets are up by two.

If Dad doesn't even wanna glamp, why do I have to be here?

You know what, Lily?

You don't. So, why don't you just go?

You can be with your boyfriend and his boyfriend.

But don't come crying to me

when you can't get this Saturday back!

- Oh, okay, I won't. - [GAME CONTINUES PLAYING]

Mom, why are you being so dramatic?

Babe, chill.

Everything is okay.

But everything's not okay!

[COMMENTATOR] [ON PHONE] The pitch is rounding to Layton.

I'm just gonna go get some air,

take a walk, by myself.

Okay, just zip up the tent behind you!

Yes, honey.

- [HARRY] Love ya! - Uh-huh.

- This croque monsieur is divine. - Okay?

Better than the one I had at The Pierre.

Oh, gosh, you look so cute!

Let me take a picture. Get over there with them.

Lis, this is not regular guy stuff.

Well, this isn't for the citizens of New York.

It's for us.

Squeeze in!

[HERBERT CHUCKLES]

Everyone say "Croque monsieur!"

- [ALL] Croque monsieur! - [CAMERA CLICKING]

[GABBY] Let me see. Let me see.

[SHIP HORN BLOWING]

- [HENRY] It's not as good. Wait. Oh. - [GABBY CHUCKLING]

[HERBERT] Let me see that, baby.

Who's this guy?

That's my editor. That's Marion.

This is your editor?

[CHUCKLING] Yes.

Okay.

You said you were gonna hire a guy for the job,

but you didn't tell me he looked like that.

[CHUCKLES] Looked like what?

Like Michael B. Handsome.

Talk about gettin' your chocolate in Atlanta.

Don't be ridiculous.

You know, he's a brilliant editor.

Is he brilliantly married?

I don't know anything about his personal life.

It's work. Give me my phone.

You got it.

[SIGHS]

About that selfie? Is that the kind of work thing

that typically happens between brilliant editors and directors?

I took it to send to my second editor.

Oh, so there's a second editor?

Yes.

- So, it's a threesome? - Who's having a threesome?

No one. Daddy's being silly.

Daddy's being very silly.

No, Mommy's being silly.

Mommy's being silly out of town.

No, Mommy's not being silly.

Mommy is going for a walk.

[LISA SCOFFS]

- [BICYCLE BELL RINGING] - Oh my God, I can see the Statue of Liberty!

- [TOURIST 2] Wow! - [LISA] Charlotte?

There you are.

- Hey. - What are you doing out here?

Oh, I just needed some time away.

I needed some time away, too.

[LISA CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

But I think we can do a lot better than just standing here.

- I mean... [CHUCKLES] - [GASPS]

- Oh! - Doesn't this place have a spa?

A woman will be sympathetic

to another woman's financial situation, right?

I mean, even if she works at a bank.

I wouldn't count on that.

A woman once turned me down for an apartment loan

because I didn't have any assets.

Well, she can kiss my assets. Oh!

[SING-SONG] ♪ Stay on the runner ♪

- Oh. - [MIRANDA] [GASPS] Hi!

- Hi! - I got Mexican.

Oh, that's so nice, but we already... actually, we just ate.

Um, Seema came back to see my new table.

- Oh, shit! - [CARRIE CHUCKLES]

Let me clean all this up.

Linda said she'd have word about the loan for me today.

It's 4:15, why has she not contacted me?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You're off the runner.

I need a free-range place

to pace and smoke. I'll be out back.

Okay, but just smoke and pace quietly.

I'm sorry, I didn't know you were gonna

- show it off. - No.

- The kitchen table is so small. - Yeah.

- I hope this is okay. - Oh, no.

- It's fine. Yeah, it's fine. - Okay.

We'll just, you know... Oh! Oh shit!

- Oh, oh, oh, uh... - Shit, shit, shit, shit.

- Paper towels. - Lift your... no, no, no, lift your computer.

- Oh, right! - Lift the computer, the computer.

- Ugh! Crap! - Here.

Oh, no! That's my research!

- Oh, oh, oh! Shit! - No!

Um, here. Um, we can use this.

Oh, no, no, no, that's my scarf! What are you doing?

- What are you doing? - You said it was nothing.

Nothing I have is nothing!

Uh, I... I was trying to stop the dripping.

It's... what is...

Was this my last Mexican coke?

Well, I was having Mexican, so...

[BOTTLE THUDS]

Smoking's bad for you.

Oh, I know. I'm just under a lot of pressure

right at this moment.

Still not good. Not good ever.

Okay, Jamie. Plant, please, buddy.

[JAMIE SCOFFS]

My nephew has a lot of opinions and not shy about sharing.

Well, he's right. And I'm right. We're both right.

Can I have a drag?

Oh! I thought you were all green and organic.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah, but I'm not... I'm not a freak about it.

Quick, before he looks up.

I'm under a lot of pressure, too.

- Oh. - I'll have you know. Yeah.

There's a guy in the apartment below here.

Mm-hmm. He keeps coming to the window,

making mean faces at me.

What are you nervous about?

- Is that any of your business? - Not at all.

[CHUCKLING] That's why I'm curious.

I'm waiting to hear about a bank loan

and I'm about to jump out of my skin.

Have you ever tried yoga?

You're asking a South Asian woman if she's ever tried yoga?

Well, I don't like to profile, so...

And I am seeing this woman who teaches Vinyasa.

- Oh. [CHUCKLES] - It might... it might help.

What? [LAUGHING]

I, um... I can probably get you a discount, too.

And what about me screams "discount"?

[CHUCKLES] Nothin'. N-Nothin' at all.

- Oh, shit. - What?

[DUNCAN] Really?

[GROANING]

[BOTH SNICKERING]

[WATER DRIPPING]

[MIRANDA] Well...

I think we're probably thinking the same thing.

Well, I don't know what you're thinking,

but I'm thinking you should stay forever.

- I'm thinking that, too! - [GASPS] Jinx!

- You owe me a Mexican Coke. - [CLICKING TONGUE]

Obviously, it is no longer Bank Street in the '90s.

Yeah, because we're 90.

But you cannot go back into some...

- [DOOR OPENS] - ...freaky Airbnb situation again.

What choice do I have?

Seema, Miranda needs help finding an apartment.

Well, Miranda, if you don't mind working virtually, I'm your gal.

Because I just found out I did not get that bank loan

- for an office. - No!

So much for women helping women.

Well, I'm a woman who needs a woman's help.

Seema, help me find a place? Soon?

- Aw. - Carrie likes her space.

No, stay.

- [SEEMA CHUCKLES] - I insist.

[MIRANDA AND SEEMA CHUCKLE]

[SPA GUEST] We're running low on ice!

[LISA] I really needed this.

[SIGHS] I've just been wearing my shoulders as earrings.

- [LISA CHUCKLES] - [CHARLOTTE] Aw.

That overnighter to Atlanta was a lot.

Can I tell you something?

Sure. What is it?

I have a, uh, work crush

- on my editor. - Ah.

[CHUCKLING] It's okay to have a work crush, right?

Yes! I mean, it's just a crush, right?

It's not the end of the world. [SIGHS]

Is everything okay?

- You seem a little distant. - Yeah.

I... I just have a lot on my mind.

You wanna talk about it?

Okay.

[♪ SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, my gosh, this garden is gonna be really amazing.

Did you see the work I did?

Jamie, I think you do all the work.

He just stands there looking pretty.

- Nah. - No, no, it's true.

I'm very pretty.

[FIRE ALARM BEEPING LOUDLY]

[CARRIE] Oh, my God, there's so much smoke.

Hello? Oh, my God.

[FIRE ALARM CONTINUES BEEPING]

- Oh! Oh, shit! - [CARRIE] Oh, my God, get the...

Get the pot off the stove!

- What? - Get the pot off the stove!

- Yes, yes, yes, doing it, doing it. - Oh shit!

- Ah, ah, ah! - Oh, shit! Shit!

[DUNCAN] I don't know how that happened!

Um... uh...

[ALARM CONTINUES BEEPING]

Wow, you're noisy.

Aren't you glad I'm wearing heels?

[LAUGHING]

Well, there goes my dinner.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

So, uh, word on the street in London

is that you're a lot of fun.

When's that gonna start?

Fun in London.

- All work here. - Mm.

That's the sole reason for New York.

I know no one, really, and I do nothing.

In fact, this is a rare meal out.

I routinely just make a stew, I dig in,

and I write the bloody book for six months until I'm done.

Wow, it's... it's writing, not time in a gulag.

Huh. Says you.

I've been particularly out of sorts this trip, though,

all thanks to a certain woman.

I'm flattered, but we've just met.

Margaret Thatcher.

- [CHUCKLING] Oh! - Yeah. She's my subject.

It's the first time I've ever attempted a woman

- and I'm nervous, I suppose. - Hmm.

Will people accept a woman from me?

What is it that you write? You said you were a writer, yes?

Yes. I, uh...

Usually, I write memoirs, essays.

But, actually, um, like you,

I'm trying something new.

Fiction.

My first novel.

- Oh. - Mm.

On top of that, it's not set in present day.

So, I'm nervous as well. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Wow, I've never said that aloud before.

Oh, dear God, that house is just gonna be vibrating with anxiety.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[♪ "KISS THE SKY" BY SHAWN LEE'S PING PONG ORCHESTRA PLAYING]

sync & corrections awaqeded www.addic7ed.com

♪ And when we go, we won't go slow ♪

♪ We'll put up such a fight ♪

♪ When they fade into the dust and into ash ♪

♪ But all the children know for sure ♪

♪ This pain will surely pass ♪

♪ Strong and wise and you are loved ♪

♪ And when the tide, it comes ♪

♪ You will float above, love ♪

♪ And you will be one day exactly what you are ♪

♪ Just keep your head held high ♪

♪ Kiss your fist and touch the sky ♪

♪ Too late to keep the world from dying ♪

♪ It's not too late to spread the love you have ♪

♪ One day when we are ready for crying ♪

♪ One day, I know that we'll be there, little girl ♪

♪ Buh, buh, buh, buh-buh ♪

♪ Buh, buh ♪