Original subtitles

I got the last one, and after that, we're even, okay? Look, don't waltz me

around, Matilda.

I'll tell you when we're even.

Well, turn it on, eh?

You gotta give me a break. Hey, sure.

I wasn't the one that told you, friend, you go to these hotel rooms, you pick up

things that don't belong to you. That was your idea.

But if you don't like the arrangements, look, I can always send you back to the

cooler. No, no, no. Hey, look.

I ain't complaining. It's...

I'm scared.

Well, good.

Keeps you on your toes.

If somebody sees me talking to you, I could be... Hey.

Sure. You, you're gonna live forever.

You know what's gonna kill you?

The booze and the broads. Why not tell me what you got?

You wanna know where the furs are going?

Okay.

I'm gonna tell you.

Greetings, this is the police.

Would you open up the door?

What?

I said, would you open up the door?

Hey!

I know, I know.

What do you want me to say?

The check is already in the mail.

I know it's Tuesday.

Eight years since we've been married, every week I wake up thinking, tonight's

the night I'm going to eat your mother's potato pancakes. So don't tell me about

Tuesday. Why not?

What is it now?

The cops.

Where? They're coming up.

Gladys, hang up and call Keats. Tell her I'm being arrested. Right.

Did you lock the door? Yeah, yeah, already.

Move!

Come on.

The police?

You just don't know how to open doors.

Lee Curtin.

Look at you.

A man of your age.

Come here, sonny.

Apprehended, Mr. Curtin.

Did he say anything to you?

Yeah, he said, what the hell are you doing here?

That would suggest he recognized you.

Oh, we met before.

Did he say anything else?

Not a word.

What the hell are you doing here? That sounds like he was surprised to see you.

I assume the words weren't spoken casually, that they were an expression

surprise and fear.

Well, I'm a police officer, not a psychologist, Counselor.

The prosecution is going to tell the jury that this was a defendant's

at the time of the arrest. It is not admissible.

Go ahead.

As quoted by the witness, the words are subject to such wide interpretation as

to be meaningless.

I think we'll let the jury decide that.

Lieutenant, you testified that your men broke through two locked doors in order

to get into the premises.

Yes, that's right. Identified myself and asked to be admitted. That's right.

Without taxing your psychological insights, would you say that your action

caused the defendant to become frightened and confused?

It's entirely possible.

And is it not entirely possible that if, as you say, Mr. Curtin was trying to

remove evidence, that he was doing it out of that fear and confusion?

Speaking hypothetically, sure.

Did your warrant specify what you were looking for? Did it say anything about

PERS? Yes, it did.

Tell us a little bit more about that, will you?

Well, through information that we gathered, Mr.

Curtin was gathering stolen property.

Information? That's right.

From where? How'd you get it?

Sources.

Would you be a little more forthcoming, please, Lieutenant?

No, I won't, Counselor.

Your Honor. Your Honor, we're prepared to acknowledge the information came from

an informant, but that's as far as we're going to go. That's not far enough. We

want him identified.

Him? Or her.

May I say something?

I wish you would.

I've seen some dead bank cases in my time, Judge, but this... I mean, what

we talking about?

There's no way I'm going to send us down the toilet on some technicality about a

warrant.

If I have to give a name, I'll do it, but... I think there's something we all

ought to think about.

If Lieutenant Kojak has to tell us who the informant is, he's no use to him.

Ever.

Now, do we want law enforcement? I want the name.

Answer the question.

Coffee will be ready in a minute if you like.

One pen, one checkbook, one cigarette lighter, one handkerchief, electric

one tape recorder.

Anything on it?

No, nothing, Lieutenant. I played both sides and it's blank.

No note, huh?

No, nothing yet. These messages were scattered all over the floor here.

Is there a Mrs. Haskell?

Yeah, but she can't come up with a reason why.

No, they never do.

Yes, this is Lieutenant Kojak, police department.

Mr. Wayne Brubaker, please.

Why did I call Haskell? Very simple.

We were investigating him.

What for?

He was doing tricks with his company's stock.

You know, manipulation.

And I was closing in on him. Routine.

Then this darn thing happened.

Say, you could be exactly the man I'm looking for.

Really?

Let me just finish about Haskell.

He was in debt to a loan shark.

No. Yes, sir.

Deep.

Say, you mind coming down with me?

Down in Washington, they're really interested in this kind of thing. You

penetration by organized crime into legitimate business.

Well, you can understand. A sour economy, business in trouble. We'd like

some of these money lenders before they get an even stronger grip on businessmen

than they already have.

Let's get back to Haskell and the Shylock, huh? You know who he is? That's

I wanted Haskell to tell me. I offered him a deal.

In other words, he knew that you knew.

Well, he knew, didn't he?

Sure. Did he tell you where he got the money from?

I told Haskell I had him cold on the stock manipulation thing.

And I said, look, I know you borrowed money from a loan shark.

But tell me who he is. Help me get evidence against him.

Testify at the trial. Then we'll try to work out the deal on the stock thing.

Anybody else here you make that offer?

Nobody. Well, I mean, obviously I had to have it approved, you know, but

otherwise, zero.

When Haskell said he'd go for it?

Well, he said he had to think it over.

He didn't know who put up the money, according to him, but he paid off

by the name of Nurse. That's all he knew. Sally Nurse.

He's a collector for this Joel Adrian.

No fooling.

Well, I'd better be going.

Thanks a lot.

Pleasure. Anytime. Just call me. Oh, Lieutenant.

I wanted to ask you...

I still have the okay on that operation.

And, well, obviously what I don't have now is the right guy to stuff in there.

mean, Haskell was tailor -made, but he took a dive on me.

Anyway, what I was thinking was, if you have somebody, we could run the whole

thing as a joint operation.

I guess Joel Adrian isn't exactly Lucky Luciano, but there still ought to be

enough goodies there for both of us.

You mean you can raise the funds for this kind of an operation?

Yes, sir.

This isn't what you call bagels and cream cheese, you know.

Lieutenant.

Okay, I'll think about it.

Terrific.

Be nice or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down.

The boss in?

I'll find out.

I'll find out.

Oh.

And when you park my car, make sure you don't scratch the paint.

But, Tony, you put me in a difficult position.

Look, I appreciate that.

Well, look, you're picking atrocious time to try to do business.

Now, look, why don't I send somebody around? They'll bring you down. We'll

about it.

Well, naturally, that sounds ideal.

Well, look, and I'll hear from you.

That sounds fine.

Yeah, right.

What's that in Kojak?

Problems. Problems?

How can a man who owns parking lots in this town have a problem?

Look, you drive an automobile.

You've got to get out of it.

Now, can you imagine the absurdity of paying two, three, five dollars for the

privilege of getting out of your own car?

I think that's ridiculous. I'll tell you, I think it's offensive.

You know, if people want something bad enough, they pay for it. I guess that's

what it's all about, isn't it?

Like C .W.

Haskell.

Ah. Ah.

I read something about that somewhere in a newspaper, I think.

You know, there's a hell of a way to get out of debt.

How much was he in the U for?

You've been talking to the feds. I mean, how much heat did you put on them?

Enough to make them take that high dive?

We're standing in the financial district of the world.

This is Wall Street.

Banks.

You and me, Kojak, we're standing in the shadow of what made this nation great.

Now, you take usury.

What is it all about?

Why is it legal for them to help out a business at one rate and against the law

for somebody else to help out at another rate?

I mean, do you think they made that law because they're afraid of the

competition? Have you ever thought about that?

Yeah. But I never heard that if you're stiffed a banker, he breaks your legs.

No. They take your house.

Hey, Joe.

C .W. Haskell, remember?

Well, may his soul rest in peace.

I never met the man of my life.

Yeah. You listen.

I'm not interested in you reciting the Gettysburg Address. I don't care about

your social contacts.

I mean, I don't care what kind of a great contribution you've made to the

American economy.

But I'm going to tell you what I do care about.

When you and your gorilla put the fear of God into somebody, where a ghost

a swan dive off a building, then you're pulling my chain, baby.

Just watch out you don't get flushed down the toilet.

District attorney agrees to withdraw charges on the understanding that Mr.

Curtin will cooperate fully and without delay in a criminal investigation to be

conducted by Lieutenant Kojak and such other agents as Lieutenant Kojak deems

appropriate.

If you think he hasn't got your tail in a ringer, you're wrong.

So it never entered my mind.

Charges may be reinstated whenever the district attorney at his sole discretion

may, etc., etc.

You wanted it, you got it.

How do we make it look good?

Why do you drop charges in the middle of a trial?

What happens?

You lose a witness, get enclobbered by the judge, you bail out, hope you can

come back with a stronger case.

You think he'll buy it?

Curtain?

Well, you know, years ago, we used to play handball underneath the tribal

at Astoria.

He's Greek, you know.

Curtain? Yeah, his name was Lee Katana, something like that. Anyway, he changed

it.

Now, she's the one we gotta worry about.

That Miss Geech.

You know you're going to get licked.

And so you come to me with this wild cockamamie proposition.

I mean, what's he going to get out of it except an excellent chance of being

killed? Nobody's going to get killed. Can we just put that aside for a moment?

We're going to get licked, huh?

That's right.

Six to five.

Minimum. That's what he's going to get.

And I think if that's all he gets, you'll get a bow for arguing a hell of a

and you'll deserve it. That's nonsense.

If you believe that, then turn us down.

We'll go back into court, you play your hand, I'll play mine, we'll see what

happens. But if one of these fine days the foreman stands up and says he's

guilty, Your Honor, don't come around telling me you want to talk.

Because the boat's sailing, Counselor.

I don't believe that.

Why don't you call us, Bluff?

What do you think?

I think you should have stuck to dying and cleaning.

Don't tell me what I already know.

How do you guarantee Mr. Curtin's safety?

No problem.

He'll be under constant surveillance. He'll be backed up by undercover agents.

Look, if there's the slightest smell of something wrong, well, then we'll just

pull him.

Absolutely. And after he finishes testifying for us, we'll give him funds

whole new identity.

Well, that's the longest end of the story. The short end is he's here with

pretty bad people, and there's no guarantees.

Oh, come on.

Come on what?

Man's entitled to know what he's buying into.

Personally, I had a chance to keep from announcing up my record with a felony

conviction. What can I tell you?

All

right,

I'll do it.

Now you're talking.

And if anybody wants to know, I'll tell them I bought the judge.

That they'll believe.

Got stuck in traffic.

Glad to hear you. No exception.

How's Lee?

Wanted to be here today.

Oh, look, uh... I should make him understand that we don't exist. Not you,

us. He's just a businessman looking to make a fresh start.

Gonna borrow money from a Shylock.

And we, we're not here.

Ash, I think he's more concerned about his son than any of this.

His son? What's wrong with his son? You mean besides the fact that he thinks his

father's a criminal?

Mr. Brubaker, I think you know.

Hello. Hello. This is Captain McNeil. What's your first name?

Eloise.

Eloise. Eloise Geet, Frank.

Geet? We were just going over a little game plan I have here.

A cracker?

No, I want to really milk every udder on this one. For instance, the first thing

I want him to do is touch... He's been cleared for security. It's all right.

I want Curtin to touch base with a couple of banks and loan companies. That

if anybody wants to check on him, it's all there.

You can't just walk into a bank and ask for a loan. A loan for what?

Tell him about your brother -in -law.

He's gone bust three times in the last year and a half.

And what's he got going now?

Trucking. You know, delivery.

But his business is going down the tubes and he's looking for a buyer.

I think he's got one.

up anything?

Not yet.

Are you sure your man knows what he's doing?

Last time a man of mine knew what he was doing, he begged the councilman for

soliciting. They came within an inch of being busted.

Uh -huh.

The camera's all set.

Yeah, that looks pretty good, though.

Hey, you better not do anything in here you don't want your wife to see.

It's too late. She already caught me. Now she's my ex -wife.

So that's the way it works, huh?

Yeah, that's the way it works. Testing, testing, one, two, three, four.

Testing, testing, one, two, three, four.

Testing, testing, one, two, three, four.

Stop.

Relax, we're receiving.

Lay it back.

That's the way it works, huh?

That's the way it works.

Great.

You should see the order, Sheldon. It's 2 ,500 in accounts receivable, and I've

hardly even opened up. I've got a once -in -a -lifetime shot in this business.

All I need is a little cash.

How much?

Really, very little.

So give me a number.

40 ,000.

It's not little.

It's not big, but it's not little.

Two of the trucks. You wouldn't believe the things the guy threw in.

I had to throw a little paint on the office furniture.

And then like a week after the plumbing survey, I'm clean, right?

The boiler works.

All I need is 40 grand.

And then what is that today? It's nothing.

Who have you tried?

Everybody. I've tapped everybody.

Let me show you how desperate I am.

I even asked Chronic.

You know, the guy who had the pickle factory.

He sold out and he bought Florida.

What a miserable... I don't lend that kind of money, Lee. I can understand,

what about Adrian?

Joel Adrian. I hear he's got golden hands. So they tell me. Can you talk me

to him?

For you, I'll do it.

No recommendation.

You're in the market, that's all.

Sheldon, the deal will sell itself. Thank you. Thank you.

Lee Curtin. Get in.

Mr. Adrian, it's very nice... I'm not Adrian.

Oh, I see.

Where's your place?

Are you associated with Mr. Adrian?

That's right.

Which way?

Make a left there.

Pretty nice, huh?

Wouldn't want a better location.

What are you out getting some fresh air?

You know my son Tony?

Tony, this is Lieutenant Kojak. You saw him at the courthouse, right? How are

you, Tony?

How do you do?

Well, this sure is a surprise.

Tony and I are kind of doing the town.

It's the first time we've been to Coney Island, would you believe it?

And people come from all over the world.

I'm sorry about this.

What's so important that you had to see me?

You're going to have to square me with my son, Theo.

I mean, I'm going crazy.

Me? Why me?

Ever since the bust is like this. I mean, I can't get through to him.

Like he says, all right, I know you're my dad and I have to see you one day a

week.

But I don't have to know you.

Because you're dirt.

I thought you might be able to...

Hey, look, we all make mistakes. I didn't say we were perfect.

I'll try to make it up to you, that's all.

So you're Lee's kid, huh?

Boy, that's some jackpot I got into, huh, with your old man? You ready for

That happens.

First we arrest them. That's goof number one.

And then the state... They get all the way to trial before they realize they

made a mistake.

Let me tell you something.

Your old man, he could have had me busted.

I could have been walking a beat if it wasn't for him.

Really? Yeah.

Terrific.

I... I'm sorry.

That happens sometimes.

People make mistakes. At least he admitted it.

He said he almost lost his job.

That's serious.

It's serious.

You know, people thought I was a criminal. I think even you.

How about a hot dog, Tony?

Would you like one? You know what they call them in California?

Coney Island Red Hots.

You want one?

Nothing. Come on, come on. All right, a soda, ice cream, anything.

No, thanks.

Here I am trying to be a big spender, and you're not interested.

What a crazy kid.

It's a beautiful day.

Yeah, nice.

You remember that guy we were talking about? He got in touch with me.

I think you'll come up to the office.

You're in trouble.

But it's all strictly cash flow, right?

Look at the volume.

Yeah, look, I can see where the banks don't even want to know you. You're

undercapitalized.

Well, I've had a couple of bad breaks. Bad breaks.

It seems to me I heard that story someplace, somewhere.

Right, Sally? Look at the bottom line. I'm practically in the black.

A couple of debts I have to pay back, a couple of bills, and then I'm in solid,

right? I open some new accounts. Here, read it. Look at the figures.

Three months, four tops, and I'll be able to pay you back.

I have no doubt.

Look, I have no doubt at all that I'm being foolish.

But I happen to believe.

that there are times when you have to put the country ahead of personal

considerations, and this is one of those times.

Now, you're being a businessman.

You know what's good for business is good for this country. That's beautiful.

Now, you come up to my office, and you see I'm a man who doesn't believe in

frills. Simple. I mean, there are no frills here, right?

Humility and strict cost accounting, that's what made us what we are, and a

measure of charity. Don't forget that. I don't.

Now, look, it's the banks. If the banks could only stop thinking of dollar and

cents, then our great nation would not be in the states they are now that we

presently find ourselves in.

I agree with you 1 ,000%. I'm not interested in 1 ,000%.

How about 3?

3 %?

I was thinking of a one -point line.

That's for old friends. I don't even know you.

Can you make it two? How about two?

It's 3 % a week, Mr.

Curtin. I don't know you. What happens? How can I collect? I mean, how are you

going to pay?

I'll pay.

I'll pay.

Well, supposing something gets hit by lightning and you slip from the tub. I

mean, what am I going to do? Take you to court?

I mean, this is an arrangement.

It's a $40 ,000 handshake. I'm vulnerable.

$1 ,200 a week in interest.

I need the money.

If it's three percent, it's three.

It's done.

I guess that shows you the kind of confidence I got.

Here it comes.

Who's your accountant?

How is he flexible?

I don't know. Yeah, I guess so.

Well, is he or isn't he? He'll do what I tell him.

He's excellent.

You tell him I'm going to have my man talk to him about your tax situation.

Now, he'll explain a couple of wrinkles I want to see programmed into this.

Well, you can't be in business if you're going to give it all to the government.

Sounds good. That's the meeting I want on tape.

Uh, Sally's going to keep very close touch.

Aren't you, Sally?

That's about it.

The rest is just chit -chat and overlaps. Nothing juicy.

We're going to get the inside on how they cook their books. This is going to

fantastic. Yeah, did you hear that, Adrian? How vulnerable he is to that

Sure, he's vulnerable.

Like an alligator.

You know, the reason we're still interested in this case is because Mr.

was associated with, connected with, whatever you want to call it with, a

criminal.

And I don't have to tell you how these people prey on the businessman.

It starts off this way.

The businessman looking for a temporary or a quick solution to a problem.

And before he knows it, he's the victim of extortion.

He panics. He becomes terrified.

He starts to juggle. He starts to embezzle himself. Anything to save his

All right, Mr. Haskell is dead.

He solved his problem.

But if he discussed this problem with any one of you, especially...

Who was putting pressure on him? What kind of pressure?

Then I want to know about it. We've discussed it all individually, and now

doing it collectively. And let me assure you that anything we discuss will be

held in total, total confidence.

And he never said anything to you.

I mean, you've known him for every day of your working life, and he said

nothing, and you didn't know he was in trouble.

But I want to thank you all very much. It's been very inspiring.

Lieutenant Kojak.

Good night. Can I talk to you a minute?

Wait, are you all right? Do you want to go someplace else? No, I've got to get

back. Okay.

You wanted us to feel like you.

All right.

I'm a heel.

Okay.

I can't believe that you know what you're asking.

I know what I'm asking and I'm still asking.

Obviously you want to say something.

Here.

Take a look.

See this?

A long time ago, 1938, I made a mistake.

I got mixed up with the wrong people.

This is what they did to me. Make sure I'd never forget them.

I never have, Lieutenant.

I thought I was supposed to get protection.

I mean, what kind of crumb -bum, two -bit deal are you running?

Adrian definitely told me I wasn't supposed to worry about stuff like that.

That was one of the advantages of doing business with him, right?

But what happens? Bang!

I'm jacked up by the first muff who comes along.

I mean, what kind of protection?

It could be not everybody got the word yet. Well, give it to them. Give them

word. What the hell are you waiting for me to go broke? Hey!

Anybody can pick up a crowbar. I mean, I ain't taking responsibility for like

every juice head in town, huh?

Well, take it. Take the responsibility.

Hey, Pally.

How is that supposed to mean?

Don't tell me what to do.

I don't like that.

Okay?

Maybe I don't give a damn. Did you ever think of that?

What's the matter with you? You soft?

Hmm? I'm trying to run a business. If it means telling you what to do, then I'm

telling you.

You can get dead that way.

What?

You heard what I said.

I could get what? What did you say? You think about it.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Payday, right?

Right?

Right.

I don't think he ought to pay.

Are you out of your mind? I'm not saying never.

All I'm saying is... All you're saying is you want Kurt to stick his head into

an oven. You tell him something like that and he'll freak out. Let him. Who

cares? Look, we're pulling his string. He'll do what he's told.

You're up to a point.

Hey.

You don't understand.

You said yourself he's doing a good job, right?

He's not just going along.

He's playing it to the hills. Why would you want to ruin that?

I think he knows he's got a good deal and he'll do exactly what we tell him.

Well, I'm not going to tell him because there's no point in it.

You may not give a damn what happens to him, but I do.

Lieutenant, if there was no point in it, I wouldn't even suggest it. The point

is we can really set the hook by having him miss the first payment.

That's when the gloves come off. Isn't that what you're saying? That's when

get rough?

That's exactly what I'm saying. All right. That's exactly what we want to

I mean, you get your kicks hearing about bones being busted.

You'll have your people there.

They're not going to let it come to that. And neither am I.

All right.

Look, I'll make you a compromise.

Compromise with a man's life? What the hell are you talking about?

Lieutenant, I haven't wanted to say anything before, and I hate to bring it

now, but I've spent a lot of the government's money on this particular

I see.

They get to break Curtin's arms and we get his legs.

Is that your idea of a compromise?

No.

He makes the first payment, and he holds back on the vigorous. Or the other way

around. Whichever you say.

Love it.

Hey.

Boy,

you were, uh... You sure?

Yeah, I know.

I'll get the rest for you next week.

Next week? Yeah, why not?

On account of that ain't the way it's done.

You pay every week. You pay on time and you pay every penny you're supposed to,

man. Get it up.

I don't have it.

What the hell do you want to do, sir?

What are you, some kind of a dummy?

I think you are some kind of dummy, you know that? You really want me to tell

him you didn't pay?

I paid.

Because if he thinks you're stiffening... Well, what's he going to

Me?

With my two hands.

I mean, who do you think you're doing business with?

You smiling neighborhood loan company?

Not for two minutes. I know who I'm doing business with.

A gunner from this goon.

Watch your mouth.

Shh, shh.

How the hell did I get into this?

You asked.

Listen, Sully, I mean, can we talk? I mean, like real people.

Yeah. Except there ain't nothing to talk about.

Sure there is.

Listen, I'm due to collect on three, four accounts.

The minute I get it, Adrian gets it.

Listen, you made your point. I'm scarier than I've ever been in my life, right?

From now on, I'm Mr. Reliable. Even if I have to steal to get it.

Now you're getting the idea.

Do you tell me?

Personally, I don't see it.

Does it make any sense to put me in a hospital?

A lot.

We got a reputation.

Yeah, what am I going to do? Run around saying, boy, these guys are easy to

snow.

Easy?

Damn, I'm dying.

My mouth's gone, but I'm dying.

Look, do me a favor.

Give me a little more time and I'll pay you back. I won't say a word, honest.

Not a word.

I've seen some jokers.

You're a beaut.

Sometimes out of trouble, sometimes in. Yeah.

Hey.

Thank you very much.

We've lined up over an hour of classic British comedy here on ITV3. Rising Damp

is next this morning, followed by Carry On Laughing with all the usual suspects,

including Sid James, Kenneth Williams and Barbara Windsor at ten to midday.