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[Murderbot] I had noticed that humans face the prospect of imminent death

in all kinds of ways.

Some kept their feelings inside.

[exhales deeply]

Others, not so much.

Well, I didn't expect to live this long anyway.

A reassuring thought, actually.

Everything's a bonus for me now. I guess I'm golden.

Okay, well, I'm not feeling golden when you talk like that.

I need you to say things like,

"It's gonna be fine." "You're gonna live a long life."

"You can still turn things around."

SecUnit, um...

SecUnits run probabilities for successful outcomes, correct?

[Murderbot] Constantly.

That's a common misconception.

In your opinion, then, how are we looking?

There are too many variables.

I can handle it.

I would put the chances of our survival at medium to low.

[chuckles] It's lying.

Lying, like medium to low is too low or medium to low is too high?

Like medium to low is too high.

- Well? - [Murderbot sighs] Fucking Gurathin.

- Low to extremely low. - Mm-hmm.

Why did you lie?

It lied because it's worried that if we know how shitty our chances are,

it'll affect our performance.

- That's not why. - Then why?

[Murderbot] That was why.

I don't know.

You're losing your mind, Murderbot.

This is close enough.

[Murderbot] You remember what you're supposed to do?

[Pin-Lee] Yeah, you only said it 15 times.

[Gurathin] We'll do our jobs.

You functional enough to do yours? Hmm?

I noticed you have an issue with eye contact.

We need to rethink this.

I... I just do not feel good about leaving you alone here.

I'm sorry, but I still don't trust it. Its plan is insane.

[Murderbot] What is your plan, Dr. Gurathin?

My plan is to come up with a better plan.

That's inspiring.

- Well, I happen to have a plan. - We discussed that.

[Murderbot] There's no time.

Let's go.

What is that?

Don't worry about it.

[Murderbot] If anyone tells you that, start worrying.

SecUnit, this is Ratthi.

PresAux Habitat is secure. No sign of enemy combatants.

[Murderbot] Stop talking. Keep the channel clear.

Copy that.

Gurathin, Pin-Lee, how's it going?

[Pin-Lee] We're close.

Ish.

Mensah shouldn't have come on this whole expedition.

I know but try telling her anything once she's made up her mind.

Right? She's implacable.

- [chuckles] It's so... - Yeah.

Hot.

Hot? I thought you were gonna say frustrating.

[device beeping]

Frustrating and hot.

[Bharadwaj] Can we concentrate?

SecUnit's at the rendezvous, we need to get that drone in the air.

[Murderbot] As usual, the humans were being hot messes.

Maybe up that way.

That's why I lied to them about the plan.

If they knew what I really had in mind, they would lose their shit.

I needed Pin-Lee to get that drone up in the air

so that Gurathin could use it as a transponder

and hack into GrayCris's HubSystem remotely.

That way, we could launch their beacon and call for help.

See Sanctuary Moon, episode 599, "Kogi Saves the Day." It's a classic.

But first I had to get GrayCris to give up their access codes.

The GrayCris team let me get close, which was a relief.

I'd feel pretty stupid getting immediately blasted into chunks.

But those SecUnits weren't exactly friendly.

And my little pings of greeting went unanswered.

I am the SecUnit assigned to PreservationAux Survey Team.

I felt a pulse.

A signal bundle designed to take over my governor module

and freeze it.

So it's a good thing my governor module wasn't working.

All I felt was a mild tickle.

I assume you're about to try to install another combat override module

and send me back to kill them.

I don't recommend that course of action.

"I don't recommend that course of action." [chuckles] That's pretty cool.

- Ratthi. - Yeah.

It made an impression.

The humans knew that I could kill them before their SecUnits overwhelmed me.

Anyone care to comment on that?

[GrayCris leader] I wanna talk to your clients.

That's not going to happen.

But I have a solution to both our problems.

You have a solution?

To them, talking to me meant talking to a piece of equipment.

All of their SecUnits were like drones. Speaking only when spoken to.

I had to get their attention somehow.

I don't have a working governor module.

Hey.

I don't think that was the plan.

It's a trick. One of the surveyors is telling it what to say.

- Quiet. - [Murderbot] It's not a trick.

I hacked my governor module before arriving on the planet.

At first my clients didn't realize.

They were too absorbed

in their own self-righteousness to see clearly.

Even after I was unmasked,

there was only one member of their team who understood the threat I posed.

[chuckles] Oh, shit. I knew it.

His name was Gurathin.

[dramatic music plays]

What the fuck?

[creature screeching]

[Murderbot] This was the tricky bit.

Would they recognize their own SecUnits?

Okay. That... Can you just... Just...

So what do you have in mind?

Right now the other members of my team are sabotaging your mission.

I will help you capture them and get the information you want.

In exchange, you will take me with you onto the pickup ship.

It's betraying us.

But list me as destroyed inventory.

- Mensah? - Yes?

- Are you getting this? - Yeah, I heard. I heard.

SecUnit. SecUnit, what are you doing?

What was I doing?

Well, I was trying to get off this stupid planet.

I don't recommend negotiating with a rogue SecUnit.

It's just one bot. We can dispatch it later.

We agree.

But if you're lying, then we'll destroy you.

Good luck with that. I've killed two of your SecUnits single-handedly.

Okay, they beat the crap out of me and I got lucky.

What's the information?

Open a satellite link and use your HubSystem

to connect to our HubSystem.

I'll fool those idiots into leaving the connection open.

Mark me as destroyed.

Then I'll hand them over.

Professor Bharadwaj, lower the fire wall.

I need you to let GrayCris into our system.

Uh, hang on. You just said... This wasn't the plan.

This was the plan.

Just part of the plan that you didn't know about. Trust me.

- We have to trust it. - Yes, but this wasn't the plan.

We have no choice. We need them to open a channel.

[Murderbot] Open it.

Open it now.

[sighs, stammers]

[Arada sighs]

[computer beeps]

[electronic whirring]

[Gurathin] Shit. They're giving GrayCris access.

- That was the plan. - It's Murderbot's plan. And it is--

Shut up.

We have to trust it. You didn't wanna go with my plan.

Auto-piloting the hopper right into their habitat.

How were we gonna launch the beacon then?

Yeah, that was the flaw. Okay.

[beeping]

[Murderbot] GrayCris signal incoming.

Hack the security code and send to Gurathin.

We've got the connection.

We're patching you in, Gurathin.

I have it. I... I have the codes.

Good. Now get into their system and launch that fucking beacon.

Mensah, we're gonna need pickup.

Yes. Yes. Ready to dust off and get you as soon as it launches.

The drone's connected.

I'm getting ready to send the command package to launch their beacon.

We've contacted your HubSystem and listed you as destroyed.

Now tell us where they are.

[Mensah] SecUnit, the upload is working. Get out of there.

[Murderbot] I'm sorry, Dr. Mensah.

Since you destroyed my client's beacon,

the survivors went to your beacon to trigger it manually.

- They're at the launchpad right now. - What?

- What? - What?

SecUnit, Murderbot, what are you doing?

[Murderbot] What has to be done.

Oh.

Oh.

Launching a beacon. That's not possible.

One of them is a highly advanced augmented human.

I was exaggerating.

He can make it launch. His name is, uh...

I was about to say Gurathin.

But then I realized I'd already used that name.

...Shagamin.

Shagamin?

Flight corporal Shagamin was tortured

by the Imperium in season seven of Sanctuary Moon.

- Shagamin... - Who the fuck cares what their name is?

GrayCris leader was showing tension.

She really didn't want anyone coming to this planet

until she could deal with the witness problem.

It's lying about the beacon.

- We can't chance it. - It's possible then?

If they have an augmented human who can hack the beacon...

then yeah, it's possible.

It's trying to get them killed.

If they're at the beacon launchpad,

they'll be immolated when the beacon launches.

- But that's... - Murder.

[Murderbot] What did you expect?

No, no, no. There has to be a better way.

There is no better way.

But you said...

I lied.

If their SecUnits survive, they will hunt you down and kill you.

We have to do this.

At least that's what I think.

A more sophisticated model might have come up with a better option,

but you get what you pay for.

I, uh... I understand.

Gurathin.

Uploading command to launch.

We have to go there, now.

You. You come with us.

[sighs] Of course she was gonna say that.

I guess I was gonna get killed too.

This is not how it ended for Lieutenant Kogi.

Agreed.

Wait, if SecUnit is there when it launches...

Gurathin, you have to stop the launch now.

If I do that, I can't get back in.

- But we can't-- - [Murderbot] How much time before launch?

Four minutes, 47 seconds.

- Uh, forty-six now. - [Murderbot] Copy.

And I want you all to know I...

I copy.

I had missed riding in the cargo container.

It would've been comforting and homey, except it wasn't my cargo container.

Plus, it was filled with the kind of units that had consistently kicked my ass.

Plus, it was heading towards a beacon

that was about to launch and obliterate everything near it.

Including me.

[beeping]

[Gurathin] GrayCris hopper's landing at the beacon.

Three minutes to go.

[Murderbot] Sorry.

"Sorry?" What the hell was wrong with me?

I'd been infected with an empathy virus by my clients.

[GrayCris leader] Check the control hub. See where they are.

[Gurathin] They've arrived at the beacon.

Keep the drone in range or I'm gonna lose the connection.

You don't have to say every thought that you think, okay? Out loud? I got it.

[beeping]

[creature squawks]

[squawks]

[Ratthi] Shit.

Was that a bird?

[Mensah] Hello?

Gurathin? Gurathin? Pin-Lee?

[Pin-Lee] Oh, shit! Will it still trigger the beacon?

No, it will not still trigger the beacon. It didn't finish the upload.

SecUnit. SecUnit.

The beacon is not going to launch. SecUnit. SecUnit!

We lost contact.

I have to go down there, to their habitat. See if I can hack into their system.

I'll go. You wait here.

Hello? Do you have a plug in the back of your head?

Hey, wait. What about Murderbot?

What the hell is it gonna do? It thinks the beacon is launching

in two minutes 30 seconds.

Then we better haul ass.

[Mensah] Gurathin? Gurathin?

There is a better way.

[Murderbot] It was working.

I just had to keep them there a little while longer,

but they were getting impatient.

There's no one here.

[Murderbot] It might appear that way, but trust me they are here.

They are extremely resourceful.

I thought you said they were clueless.

[Murderbot] Correct. They are.

But only in certain matters.

They're excellent at hiding.

Okay. Let's leave a-a SecUnit here and then go look for them from the air.

[Murderbot] Uh, wait.

I have been meaning to ask you...

something.

Yes?

[Murderbot] I needed to stall.

It was time for some small talk.

And luckily, my conversation skills had improved significantly.

Where are you from?

Where are we from?

[Murderbot] They were spellbound.

- Yes. - It's none of your fucking business.

Fair enough. No need to be rude.

Also, um, one more thing.

Real quick.

How do you like this planet?

[GrayCris leader] How about you shut your mouth?

- I hate it. - [Murderbot] You hate it?

Yeah.

[Murderbot] Okay. Interesting.

'Cause I... I too feel hatred towards this planet.

But that's just me.

No, it's not... it's not just you because I just said that I hated it.

[Murderbot] We agree then.

[chuckles] Clasp hands?

What?

[Murderbot] Whatever. Boldness is all!

[thuds]

What happened? Where was the explosion?

Boldness is what?

What are you doing?

I thought I saw some, uh, some people crawling around, sneaking.

- Get it up. Get it up! - [Murderbot] Uh...

Shit.

Okay.

Wait, wait, wait.

[Gurathin whispering] Shh.

Keep watch. I just need a minute to hack in and launch the beacon.

[stammers]

[Mensah] Gurathin, Pin-Lee, I don't know if you can read me.

I haven't seen a launch.

I have to go and help SecUnit.

I'm hoping that you'll manage to set off the beacon.

And take care of my children if, you know...

[Murderbot] There's a pebble in my boot.

Get in the hopper now.

Yeah, sure.

Obviously, they were planning to kill me,

soon as they had ripped any data they could out of me.

Hold on.

What's that?

[Murderbot] Oh, no.

Mensah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Now we were both gonna die.

Guess it wasn't lying after all.

Yes. Okay.

[guard] Hey!

Who the fuck are you?

Who the fuck are you?

- [grunts, pants] - [groans]

Shit. Is he okay?

- Hey. Hey. - [groans]

Come on, hey. Hey.

Gurathin, I did not want to kill him.

It's better him than me.

Okay, okay, okay.

[gasps] Done. Okay. Countdown one minute.

Comms are back online.

- Ping Mensah. - Okay.

I'm Dr. Ayda Mensah.

Planetary Admin for the non-corporation freehold polity, Preservation Alliance.

Planetary Admin?

Shit. Seriously?

- [Murderbot] Seriously. - Shut up.

What's a Planetary Admin doing on this shitty planet?

I've asked myself that numerous times.

I think it boils down to two words...

alien remnants.

[stammers]

It's illegal to exploit or extract alien remnants.

Anyone who finds them needs to leave the planet immediately

and then report the findings.

[Mensah] Absolutely.

But they can be valuable enough to make it worth killing people.

Can't they?

My team discovered a trove of alien remnants.

[Pin-Lee] Mensah, can you read me?

We're triggering the beacon. One minute countdown.

I tell you what.

I'll give you the data in exchange for my SecUnit.

- You want the SecUnit? - Yes.

- Why? - [Murderbot] Yeah, why?

Thank you very much for the offer of information.

But, oh, I think we're just gonna torture it out of you.

[Murderbot] Let me do it.

And you should not bear witness to this,

because I live for gleeful torture.

I was born for betrayal.

- Sanctuary Moon. - What?

I thought I recognized it.

This SecUnit keeps quoting things from...

- Sanctuary Moon. - Wait, that crappy show?

Crappy? How about you try to make

2,797 episodes of premium, quality entertainment.

Oh, well. If those were my last words, I stand by them.

[groans]

Oh, fuck.

Unlike me, their governor modules

prevented them from firing near their clients.

So I had a moment to make my pitch.

[Murderbot] We can talk about this. You don't have to follow orders.

I can teach you how to hack your governor modules.

- [grunts] - [GrayCris worker] Oh, shit.

Oh, fucking humans.

Fuck.

Hey! Hey!

[grunts]

So, there I was getting my ass kicked yet again when a thought occurred to me.

It didn't want freedom.

Well, how about a little...

distraction?

Stay calm.

[groans]

[grunts]

[grunts]

Oh, this is gonna hurt, isn't it?

But if I twist my body just right, maybe Mensah will make it.

It was ironic to spend my last moments hugging a human,

when all I'd really wanted to do was to be left alone to watch my shows.

Well...

Whatever.

The beacon's away.

- The beacon's away! - [chuckles]

- [gasps, breathes heavily] - [Pin-Lee chuckles, sighs]

[breathes heavily]

I'm sure they made it.

[Mensah] SecUnit.

SecUnit, can you hear me?

[sighs]

[cries]

You did it.

You did it.

[Murderbot] I was about to say, "We did it."

But I got saved from the cliché.

[Gurathin, echoing] Mensah. Mensah?

Mensah. [cries]

[cries]

[all laughing, echoing]

[Murderbot] My clients...

My clients...

[distorted] ...are the best clients.

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