Original subtitles

Now, this lunch is almost ready. Good. Oh, it's fun to cook over an open fire.

Yes, isn't it?

Oh, you know, it's too bad that Will couldn't have come with us. He'd have

enjoyed this.

Someone had to stay with the ship.

Do you mean to say that Dr. Smith couldn't watch over the Jupiter II all

himself?

Since when has Dr.

Smith been able to do anything for himself?

Oh, well, really, do you have to keep on working? Couldn't you stop for a while

and enjoy the scenery?

Well, the original reason for this trip was the radar station.

Now you?

The girls and the scenery are all welcome added attractions.

Why, Professor Robinson.

We've got company.

It's like a Class B -7 intergalactic spaceship.

But in this area?

Attention, spaceship.

This is John Robinson from the Earthship Jupiter II.

Please identify yourselves.

Hello, Jupiter II.

This is Earthship Venus V, and are we glad to find you.

We're preparing to land.

Activate landing beam.

It can't be an Earth ship.

I know.

Activate the radiation shield.

We're going to have to find out a lot more about them before we let them land.

Repeat. Activate your landing beam.

Attention, spaceship.

You are not an Earth vehicle. We know that. Now, who are you and what do you

want? Activate landing beam.

We'll explain everything once we've landed.

Explain it now or we won't let you land.

John, who do you think it is?

Some renegade masquerading as an Earth ship.

But now that the force shield's up, we don't have anything to worry about. They

can't land.

Fly it right through our shield.

It's holding.

They put up a protective shield.

We'll never be able to land.

Put us on automatic control.

We must land on that planet.

It's our lives or theirs.

There must be a way to get through there, defensively.

I see you two music lovers are still enthralled with the intergalactic hit

parade. It does sound kind of like music, Dr. Smith, if you listen hard

Indeed? Well, sometimes it does.

And after all, a robot does not live by programming alone.

Some culture is required to keep my tapes in balance.

What do you know of culture, you ignominious ignoramus?

It's pathetic.

That's what it is.

We must land on that planet. We have no other choice.

But we've tried. We can't penetrate their radiation shield. Then we must try

again. There must be a weak link in their defenses.

Look.

A perfect landing place.

But their radiation shield.

We'll never be able to penetrate it without a landing beam. They'll give us

But first, we must prepare ourselves.

We must look like these Earthlings.

Bring up the female.

Get a computation on Earth people component and run it on the screen.

And now the females, first thing.

Not much improvement.

Turn off the image projector.

Turn on the matter transformer.

First, we two.

Ugly, but I suppose practical.

I kind of like it. Your opinion was not requested.

Turn off the matter transformer.

Female, go below and prepare for landing.

It still won't work.

You know as well as I do that electromagnetic transference is only

daylight hours.

As soon as each night's moons come up, we'll revert back to our regular forms

again. The daylight hours will be more than enough for us to destroy their

outpost. But what if we can't exist in their atmosphere?

We have to test it first.

For at least 24 hours.

Yes, you're right.

But I think I have a way we can manage that.

A humanoid life form that was on the ship when we stole it.

Mr. Zundes, can you hear me?

Yes, I can hear you.

You will forget everything about our forcibly taking over this spaceship and

using it as our escape ship after the Deutronium Bank robbery.

You will only remember that you are a tour director taking peaceful

vacationers on an intergalactic cruise.

You will accept us as your vacationers. Understand?

Yes, I understand.

Tour director.

Peaceful vacation of...

Oh, I must have fallen asleep.

Yes, you did doze off. And here we are wasting precious moments of our two

vacation. Yes, you promised us wonderful times, and we've just been floating

around here in space.

A sumptuous word, Mrs. Bond. I promised you marvelous vacations, and that's just

what you will have.

What do you think it is, robot?

I compute it to be an ionic directional probe, a radio beam searching for

receiving outlets.

You mean someone's trying to reach us? Someone is trying to reach any radio

receiver. Maybe they're in trouble. We'd better help them.

No, William, don't. We have no way of knowing who it is out there.

They might be terrible people.

Dr. Smith, whoever they are, they're in trouble or something.

We can't just stand here and do nothing.

Why not?

This is the Jupiter II.

Identify yourself, please.

Identify myself?

This is Zomjish of Altarus Functuus Limited, of course.

What took you so long to answer?

Well, gee, Mr. Zomjish, we didn't even know.

And I don't want to hear any excuses either. My happy vacationers are all

for fun, fun, fun. So please, activate your landing beam immediately.

I guess he's got us mixed up with somebody else.

Perhaps not.

He did say that his spaceship was full of vacationers, did he not?

Vacationers. Happy, carefree people with their pockets full of valuables, ready

for their two weeks in the sun.

And what better place to vacation than this planet's paradise of ours?

Dr. Smith, they're headed somewhere else. They are headed for where the fun

And who is more fun than we are? You, sir? What is the going rate for rooms in

this part of the galaxy?

With or without running water.

Even if we could, where would we get the room?

Really, William, we happen to have an empty spaceship, and you ask where?

Dr. Smith, Mom and Dad and the others are only going to be gone a few days.

You can't just rent out their rooms.

Just think of it, William.

We are at the beginning of a huge and lucrative new enterprise.

Smith's Resort Hotel.

Where the best go to rest. It's lovely.

Dr. Smith, you just... Welcome, Mrs. Umdish, welcome.

This is Dr. Zachary Smith, manager of the... of Happy Acres.

I know that all your people are very eager to partake of the joys of our

vacation wonderland, but I must advise you, my dear sir, we are at the height

our season now, and much as we regret it, there has been a slight increase in

our rates.

My people have been saving all year for their vacations. I'm quite sure they

have more than enough to throw Numa aboard the ship.

To cover all costs.

Deutronium?

Did you hear that, William?

Deutronium. Dr. Smith, you can't charge them for nothing.

Nothing indeed.

Look at this veritable paradise.

Pleasant meadows in four different colors.

Lava bed mineral baths. Fantastic underground caves that will make

nightclubs. And not one, but four different suns for the really complete

Oh, William, it would be cruel indeed if we did not welcome those poor, fun

-starved individuals to our happy little hotel.

Mr. Dundee, I am activating the landing beam. Prepare your happy travelers for

the very best vacation they have ever had.

Thank you. We will be arriving shortly.

See? You sign up with Altruist Frontiers Limited for vacations, and that's

what we deliver.

Fun?

Lovely.

Now, remember, our guests will be here at any moment. I want them to be made

happy and comfortable in the best tradition of Smith's Resort Hotels.

Dr. Smith, it's just no fun carrying people's luggage.

And besides, vacationers are computed to be extremely bad tippers.

Spare me the complaints.

Did we or did we not all agree that we would each do the job we were best

for? You agreed.

We took a vote, did we not?

I did not.

You are not entitled to a vote. You are a ninny.

Well, I didn't get to vote either.

It's not legal to vote until you're 21, William. Everybody knows that. But

enough of this idle chatter. Our guest will be here momentarily. Are we all

ready?

Well, I guess so.

Splendid. Now remember our motto.

A happy guest is a paying guest. Yes.

How do you do? How nice to see you. So

nice to see you.

Welcome. Welcome to Happy Acres. Dr. Zachary Smith, manager, social director,

all -around fun person at your service.

I am Tsamdish. Of course you're Tsamdish. I knew you at once.

From the intergalactic department store.

Formerly. I'm in business for myself now.

How very nice.

Alterus Frontuus Limited, sir. Allow me.

Oh, pardon me. My laundry list.

You call this a resort hotel?

Oh, yes, indeed.

As a matter of fact, Happy Acres is the flagship of my entire chain.

We have scenery in four different colors, you know.

We humanite life forms are used to scenery in eight different colors.

I see.

An Olympic -sized hot lava pool.

Only one. We have meteor riding, rocket testing, all the latest sports,

and not one but two moons for the romantically inclined.

And we also have a remarkable robot programmed for exquisite service.

Badminton, anyone?

Not now, Booby. Send to the luggage. Wait.

My customers want a fun vacation.

I'm not sure it's quite what they had in mind.

Oh, but you're so wrong, Mr. Zumbish. This is the gayest resort you've ever

found. Ask anyone in the rest of the galaxy just how much fun we are.

A money -back guarantee?

A money -back... Yes.

Yes, of course. In that case, we will give you a trial.

If my vacationers have a good time here, you will get some more business from

me. If not, both they and I will be very unhappy with you.

Oh, they'll have a good time. I know it.

All right.

Help him to the luggage.

Bear boy, front.

Yes, sir. Attend to the luggage.

Yes, sir. Now remember what I said.

Let fun be your guide.

Fun, fun, fun.

Never fear.

Smith is here.

Let me assure you, my dear Mr. Zumdisch, that is what we understand here at

Happy Acres.

Fun, fun, fun.

This way, sir. This way.

Ah, bravo, bravo. You're doing beautifully.

Fun, fun, fun.

Fun, fun, fun.

There, boy.

Yes, sir.

Great. Must I do everything myself?

Don't talk with your mouth full.

Well, I guess I'm not used to being a bellboy.

William, you will simply have to shape up. It is vital that we please our

Now, take all of these things directly to suite D12.

D12? D12, your sister Judy's room, William. Can't you remember anything?

I'm sorry.

Now, careful with that luggage. We are not insured.

Yes, of course, my dear.

And doubly so, now that you've allowed me the pleasure of stopping your

shuttlecock for you.

I wish you hadn't stopped it so hard.

It's all dented and everything.

Oh, I'm so sorry. How stupid of me to allow my head to dent your dainty little

shuttlecock. Oh, I guess it's all right.

Just as long as you make sure you don't do it again.

Oh, I promise you, I shall see that it does not happen again.

Fun, fun, fun.

Saucy baggage.

1

,900

ritzels.

And 2 ,000 cubits of plutonium. I'm going to be rich, rich, rich.

Can I go to bed now?

Is all the sports equipment put away?

Yes. And are the hotel grounds cleaned and sparkly, ready for the gay

of tomorrow?

Yes. And have all our guests retired to their luxurious suites?

Yes. In that case, I suggest that you go right to bed. You have to be up bright

and early in the morning, you know, to prepare breakfast for everyone. And

remember, put plenty of water in the fruit juice and no second for anyone. A

happy guest is a hungry guest.

guest is a tired robot.

See you soon.

Ah, good evening, my dear.

I would have thought you'd be fast asleep by now, all tired out from your

round of activities here at Happy Acres.

I tried to sleep, but I couldn't.

Couldn't sleep?

No. I kept thinking about how sweet you were at the pool this afternoon.

I hope I didn't hurt your pretty head when I hit it on the badminton court.

Oh, no, my dear.

It was a pleasure and a joy to be hit in the head by your dainty little

shuttlecock.

You're sweet.

Yes, I know.

And quite good -looking.

Yes, I know.

But not nearly as attractive as you, my dear.

You know.

It's not uncommon for romance to flourish in this vacation paradise.

Yes, I've heard about vacation romances, but I never dreamed it might happen to

me.

Romance can come to all of us, my dear.

But you're so far above me.

Oh, no, my dear. It's you who are so far above me.

I would like to be on your level. Would you really like to be just like me?

Oh, yes, my dear. I would like to be just as rich.

That is to say, I would like to be just like you.

I think that can be arranged.

If only it could be. Then my fondest dream would come true.

I do want your dream to come true.

You do?

Until tomorrow?

Until tomorrow.

Adieu. Adieu.

Adieu.

Good night.

The old fool is falling like a ton of spent meteorites. And you're confident

you'll be able to have him doing your bidding?

Supremely confident.

He'll make a perfect dupe for the Space Patrol.

His body orbiting endlessly in space with some wreckage of their spaceship

have the Space Patrol convinced that we've met our tragic but deserved end.

But he doesn't look anything like any of us. You haven't forgotten your matter

transformation ring, have you?

No. Once he has that ring on his finger, you'll be just like one of us.

We've reverted back to our original form.

We have to move immediately before the humans discover who we really are.

Yes, I'm going to be rich and famous.

I shall go down in history as the first intergalactic innkeeper.

He is only metal.

We must find the humans.

Did you say something, William?

Sleep at the switch I might have known.

Wake up.

Wake up.

Did you hear something strange out here?

I was resting my computer tapes.

A likely story.

I heard a noise out here. You couldn't have slept right through it? My micro

-mechanism has been worked so hard.

It is tired enough to sleep through anything.

I never said hotel work was easy.

Two doing the work of three never is.

How dare you? I'm doing much more than I share.

Don't suppose for a moment it is easy to count all those receipts.

And besides, isn't it rewarding to know how happy you are making those

vacationers? Well, I must confess...

Did you hear something, Justin?

I am not programmed for day and night work. My computer tapes need eight hours

rest, just like any other robots.

You cannot expect me to... Silence!

Spare me the emotional outbursts.

I'm sure it was just some people trying to sneak in.

I guess.

Yes, that's what it was.

The word is out in the rest of the galaxy that we are this year's fun

and already we have crashers. Well, I'll show them. Nobody gets into Happy Acres

except paying guests.

On second thought, you show them. I hereby appoint you night watchman. But I

already badminton instructor, bellman, golf pro, lifeguard, dining room and

service waiter, and social director.

You'll also make a wonderful night watchman.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Find those trespassers and order them off to hotel grounds.

But my computer tapes need rest.

Night watchmen do your duty.

But I... Very well, you sententious sloth. I'll go with you and show you how

it's done.

Stand aside.

Well, press the button, boogie.

Also elevator operator.

I could have sworn I heard something.

No one is here but us.

Now can I go back and rest my weary computer tapes?

Tape my foot. You're not a very good mic watchman, you know.

I was programmed for more important work.

Oh, very well. Return to your slumber, you pitiable pipsqueak. My

thanks you. My computer tapes thank you. And I thank you. How exciting.

I know I heard something.

I must have heard something.

I have very sound instincts about things like that.

Oh, well.

Perhaps this once I made a mistake.

Did you ring, Dr. Smith?

Silence, Ruby!

Domino! Domino!

It's all your fault.

Let's finish him.

Must be the sun's rays.

Yes, apparently we only revert back when the moons are high.

Then we don't have to destroy the humans.

At least, not yet.

Ah, good morning, my dear Mr. Sumdys. Isn't it a lovely morning so clean and

fine? Allow me, sir.

Yes.

There we are.

I trust... You had a good night's sleep.

The mattress on my bed was very lumpy.

Regrettable. I shall see to it immediately.

But tell me, my dear sir, wasn't your breakfast delicious?

The cereal was just as lumpy as my mattress.

I'm sure lunch will be marvelous.

Dr. Smith, I'm afraid I must tell you I find your resort hotel not at all fun

and not at all what I had in mind for my tour.

But, my dear sir, Your people seem to be having a wonderful time. Yes, they do

at that.

Yes, no accounting for tastes.

My dear Mr. Dumditch, just give me a bit more time and I guarantee that I shall

have my hotel operating at 100 % fun capacity.

Very well.

We'll continue the trial run. But remember, let your motto be fun, fun,

Oh, my dear sir, let me assure you, that's all we understand here at Happy

Acres. Fun.

Fun.

Fun. Fun.

Fun.

Fun.

took you so long. Well, you see, Dr. Smith, I was... Don't you know that

holding up an entire golf tournament?

Well, I guess I do.

I mean, I knew you couldn't start the tournament without the golf clubs. But

see, I was busy in the galley when you organized... I simply don't have time

excuses. I'm losing a fortune in green fees.

Let me help you.

Ah, there we are. Come along.

Thanks a lot.

I'm not going to tell you.

You'll have to come and find me for yourself.

I'd love to, my dear, but I'm quite busy right now.

Too busy for the game of romance?

Never too busy for you, my dear.

Ready or not, here I...

do I get as my prize?

Close your eyes.

For me?

Oh, what a surprise. How lovely and in such good taste.

How sweet of you.

It's a warm, tender, sentimental being.

I shall treasure it always.

I said you wanted to be just like me.

This ring will put us on the very same level.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Then, until tonight... Until tonight... We'll meet right

here.

Dr. Smith?

What is this?

I thought you were supposed to be giving instruction in badminton.

I was.

All morning.

That is, after I finish serving breakfast.

Oh, my computer tapes are all worn out. How sad.

Complaints, complaints.

That's all I ever hear. It is not easy to be a hotel impresario.

Very well. You may return to the hotel and rest for exactly five minutes after

you have served the guests their lunch.

But lunch hasn't even been cooked yet.

I hereby appoint you master chef.

See to it immediately.

tidy. I must also appoint him chief guard.

Dr. Smith, are you all right?

Yes, indeed.

I'm getting used to it.

Oh, it's all dented again.

Will you forgive me?

You're forgiven.

I do hope she doesn't try archery.

Why am I forced to do everything myself? I'm completely exhausted.

You, sir.

Where am I? You are at Smith Happy Acres Hotel, and don't you forget it.

You're supposed to be a computer, are you not?

Affirmative. Very well.

Compute this.

10 ,000 cubics of deutronium.

Correct. Why did it take you so long to come to that conclusion?

If you knew the answer, why did you ask me?

Yours is not to question why.

Yours is but to total total.

May I rest my tapes now?

No, you may not. We have to finish here first and afterwards.

I want you to plan the water polo tournament. I want it ready to start

immediately after breakfast tomorrow morning.

The period is over.

We can survive in this planet's atmosphere.

And now we must destroy the humans.

Here.

Lovely, lovely.

I'm going to be beautifully rich.

And I haven't even tabulated the receipt from tomorrow's water polo tournament.

But I compute that water polo cannot be played in a hot lava pool. The ball will

melt. You're so clever, I'm sure you'll think of something.

You'd better finish up the counting here. I just remembered an appointment I

have.

This is only the beginning.

What did you say, Dr. Smith?

Never mind, Ninny. You don't understand romance.

Is that you singing, my dear?

I suddenly feel quite strange.

Here I come.

My dear, it's me, your Zachary. I'm over here, Zachary.

Where are you, my dear?

Your voice is lovely in the moonlight.

Please, come out where I can see you.

There you are.

Please, don't!

I'm so quiet and so alone.

Why did I do that?

And why does my throat feel so furry?

Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Where?

Monsters. Hideous monsters, they've taken over Happy Acres. Happy Acres?

that? Happy Acres is my... Oh, dear.

I'm so frightened.

I'm half out of my head. I don't know what I'm saying.

Monsters have taken over the Jupiter II.

The Jupiter II?

Well, where's Will? Is he all right? I battled those terrifying monsters with

all my strength. I fought them courageously, but the odds against me

overwhelming that I was finally forced to flee for my life. Where is Will?

They were so ferocious, so overwhelming.

Where is he? I think he's still in the spaceship.

With all those monsters?

I'm afraid so.

Maureen, stay here with the girls. We'll go on ahead and see if we can find out

what's happening.

No, no, I couldn't. Those monsters will kill me. On that double.

I'm completely exhausted.

I cannot go another step.

Those monsters will kill us all. Come on.

Smith.

What's going on here?

What's all this sports equipment lying about?

Sports equipment?

What sports equipment?

We're waiting for an answer.

Oh, yes.

There does seem to be some sports equipment lying around.

Yes, I know. It's here. I see it.

How did it get here?

I don't really know.

And where are all these monsters you were yelling about?

Monsters?

There don't seem to be any, do there?

I'm afraid it was just a bad dream I had. I must stop eating peanut butter

salami sandwiches before I retire.

Let's find Will. Maybe he can tell us what's happening.

And this better not be one of your harebrained schemes.

Professor Robinson, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Peanut butter and salami.

And then I heard those sounds coming closer and closer.

So I climbed up on top of my closet shelf and I hid there.

And then after a while, the door opened and they stepped into the room.

They were terrible, Dad.

Really horrible -looking creatures.

And yet, everything now is as peaceful as it could be.

Dad, I'm sorry.

The hotel idea seemed like it would be a lot of fun.

And Dr. Smith said it would be all right.

That's all right, son. That's not your fault.

But Smith should have known better.

Robot!

Do you have anything to add? My tapes were much too weary to make a positive

computation. But my scanners did view two creatures.

Alien monsters?

I am sorry, Professor Robinson.

My micro -mechanism has just been too overworked for me to be certain. But you

do remember that Smith thought he heard something the night before.

That much I do remember, Professor Robinson.

And last night, these two creatures.

Professor Robinson!

Professor Robinson!

Yes? Professor Robinson, I'm afraid I made a horrible mistake.

I thought they're just happy vacationers. But last night, I heard a

had to hide, or they would have...

Try to destroy me as well.

Who are they, Dumdish?

I heard them talking.

They're space robbers who assumed a humanoid form. They're running from the

justice of the intergalactic tribunal. They have been searching for a safe

where they could hide and feel they are founded here after destroying everyone

on this planet.

Where are they now?

Out hunting for us. Out hunting for any humans who might someday be able to tell

the space patrol their whereabouts.

They'll find Maureen and the girls.

We've got to get there first. Will, stay here with the robot.

Mind the battle stations.

I am going below.

Mother, how long do we have to stay here?

Until your father comes back for us.

Oh, dear.

Dr. Smith, what are you doing here?

I don't really know.

Somehow I thought it would be safer out here.

Well, what's happening back at the Jupiter 2?

Nothing, nothing at all. It's as peaceful as can be.

And what about the monsters you said you were so afraid of?

Monsters, madam? There are no monsters.

Oh, Dr.

Smith! Who are you? What do you want?

Come along.

And the girls?

I have no idea. John, look.

My boyfriend saw this one.

Let's go.

Oh, woe is me.

A lack and a loss.

We will destroy them in the love of him. One at a time. The mother first.

Turn over that booby.

Yes, sir. Mind your manners.

How are you doing with those, Bill boy? How are you? Yes, sir.

Goodbye.

Goodbye. I am delighted that everything was resolved with such a dispatch.

I would have been extremely unhappy if it hadn't, especially after enjoying the

great hospitality of your fine hotel.

You know, Dr. Smith, I have decided that you run a very good place.

And I'm going to make it a regular stop for my fun tours from now on.

How nice.

Careful with the luggage. We're not insured. Oh, allow me.

Some dish insurance company starting today.

Goodbye, Zachary.

Goodbye, my dear.

Even though they're taking us many galaxies away, I'll be thinking of you.

How exciting.

I was hoping you might have a keepsake for me.

Something which will always remind me of you.

I may have just the thing.

Excuse me.

Yes, Dr. Smith.

Quickly. What is the value of this?

One dollar, seventy -nine cents.

At any five and ten cent store.

Oh, the pain. The pain.

It's supposed to be worth a king's ransom.

It is not even worth a Dr.

Smith's ransom.

However... My computers indicate that there is more to it than meets the eye.

am not interested in meeting your eyes.

I am interested only in immediate cash value.

Here you are, my dear.

This is for you.

But it's the ring I gave you.

Exactly so.

Much too generous of you.

It's a sacrifice I cannot allow you to make.

I'll always remember you.

Naturally.

This is goodbye.

Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Yes, you.

Oh, Professor, I shall have that sign off in a jiffy. The Happy Acres Hotel

be just a fond memory.

Frankly, I'm very glad it's all over.

Who says it's over?

Now we're all going to take a vacation.

Vacation? Where are we going to go, Dad?

Not going anywhere. We're going to spend it right here at Happy Acres. And since

you're the big intergalactic innkeeper, I'm sure you'll show us a wonderful

time. On the house.

I shall certainly miss that young woman.

I wish she had left me a memento of her visit to help me through the trying days

ahead.

Is it cold up there?

I wouldn't recommend it for sunbathing.

Do you have much more to do?

We should be able to give it a try as soon as I get this contact in place.

Well, ready when you are, Mr. Marconi.

Marconi? We'll have a communications network Marconi never dreamed of once

got this squared away.

Judy, you better call your dad at the other camp base and tell him we're

up now.

All right.

There, splendid.

Everything is in order.

Now remember, William, always lead the skeet. In other words, aim and fire

the skeet is not. But where the skeet will be when my shot reaches it.

Precisely. Now then, feet placed well apart, and firmly placed, very

splendid. Pull!

Ah, I missed.

By a mile, to use the vernacular.

Silence, Ninny.

Your eye was quicker than your hand, William. Now let me show you.

I've never missed a skeet shot yet.

Is your dad standing by?

Yes. He's been ready to report anything he hears.

Okay. Let's give it a try.

Power on.

Hey, it's working great.

What glorious memories this brings back to me of my

skeet shooting days on dear old Sea Island.

Picture this, William.

Using my trusty .410 in the all -around trials, I annihilate the champion.

Dr. Smith, listening to your memories won't teach me how to shoot skeet.

Indeed, William.

Beginners usually are inspired when I tell them of my legendary performance.

Legend, a romantic story which is usually not true.

Mind your manners or you'll lose your friends, you pot -bellied pumpkin.

Hold!

likely to recover. What a pity I was not here to supervise the job.

I might have prevented the accident.

Dr. Smith, I know it wasn't intentional, but you caused the accident.

What?

Really, William. You yourself can testify to the fact that I was not even

area. No, but the rock you shot was.

What rock?

Well, Dr. Smith was teaching me how to shoot skeet.

Smith, starting now, I want you to stack and tag every single damaged part.

Don't you stop until you've finished the job. Now, do you understand that?

Major, let me remind you that I am far more proficient at skilled rather than

unskilled labor.

Let's keep shooting, Dr. Smith.

I'd better help him, Don. He doesn't know much about technical equipment.

No, I don't, Major.

Well, he doesn't know much about anything.

Period.

It's going to be like putting a jigsaw puzzle together.

How jolly.

Let me tell you something, William. Despite the Major's hasty conclusions, I

still maintain that my skeet shooting was in no way responsible for the

accident. It wasn't?

Well, then how did this get here?

I have no idea.

I shall obey the Major's orders, but only to keep the peace.

We'll put the antenna together first.

I'll be able to get this free if you'll just move that rock. I don't think it's

very heavy.

My delicate back will simply not stand the train.

William, I have a... splendid idea.

It will get much lighter if I employ the principle of leverage.

Now, let me see. What can I use to demonstrate?

Here we are. Now, watch carefully.

By bringing pressure there on this lever, the boulder will rise in direct

to the pressure I exert, thereby freeing the desired object.

Why are you making such a big deal over such a little rock?

Spare me the rhetoric, William. I will prove to you that it does work. Now

are we ready? Here we go.

What have we done?

Good heavens.

There's something frozen inside.

What sort of monster can it be?

I don't know.

But one thing's for sure.

It's still alive.

William, there's a pulsating light there. What do you suppose it means?

I don't know.

I think we should put it back just where we found it and forget its very

existence.

This happens to be our most critical radar site, Dr. Smith.

If we place this object somewhere else, it might still interfere with our

reception.

Analysis, robot.

Chemical composition of alien sarcophagus does not fall within the

material with which I am familiar.

However, its form is cryogenetic.

which means that an important constituent thereof is frozen fluid.

What kind of fluid?

Its elements do not compute.

It does not melt at normal terrestrial temperatures.

Spare us this aimless cackling and tell us about that terrible creature inside.

The terrible creature is a living organism, presently in a condition of

suspended animation.

Ah, William!

I think I saw it move.

It was your shadow, Dr. Smith.

Don, what are we going to do about it?

I'm not sure.

Obviously, it wasn't meant to be disturbed.

So we have to decide whether to move it or move our radar site.

I'll let that decision wait until morning.

Do you think maybe we should put a watch on it?

Yeah, good thought, Will.

Smith, you and the robot take the first watch.

Major, due to an unusual metabolic malfunction, I must tell you that I

far more alert on the last watch than I would be on the first.

Fine.

You and the robot take the first and last watch.

Someone out there doesn't like me.

Affirmative, Dr. Smith.

Affirmative. Well

asleep?

Like a baby.

More coffee?

Yeah, thanks.

I wonder if Mother and Penny are asleep.

This is the first time I've been away from them for this long since we left

Earth. You know, I kind of miss them, too.

I'm awfully curious about that sarcophagus and how long it's been here.

Well, if it were made of any known chemical or mineral, I might be able to

an aging check on it, but this way I can't even guess. It could be a week, a

year, hundreds of thousands of years. I just don't know.

And if we try to guess where it came from or why this particular place was

chosen? Well, if you have any trouble sleeping tonight, you try guessing

of counting sheep.

I'm going to check in with the others now.

John, do you read me?

Loud and clear.

We should be set up by dawn. How are you doing?

We've had a setback.

We're going to be up here longer than we thought.

Smith?

Who else?

John, we've also come across some sort of alien life form in a block of frozen

fluid. Frozen fluid?

What do you plan on doing with it?

Well, nothing. It's in a completely dormant state. I'm going to have Smith

guard over it tonight.

Do you think that's wise?

Whatever it is, it's frozen solid. Even Smith couldn't goof this one.

Over and out.

Over and out.

Well, I guess he knows what he's doing.

Let me go home.

Let me go home.

Well, I feel so break up.

I want to go home.

First mate, he got drunk.

Broke up the people's trunk.

Constable had to come and take him away.

Sheriff Johnstone, why don't you leave me alone?

been born.

So hoist up the John B. sail.

See how the main sail sets.

Call for the captain ashore. Let me go home.

Let me go home. I want to go home. Oh, let me go home. Why don't you leave me?

I think it said something.

What was it?

You are listening to the wind, Dr. Smith. I am not programmed to interpret

language of the wind.

Only the language of windbags.

How dare you, you disreputable dunderhead. Are you suggesting... Robots

suggest. They only state facts.

Hold your tongue, you silly goose.

My feet are cold.

And so are my hands.

There's something wrong with the controls of this blanket.

The controls are at maximum heat.

The condition of your extremities indicates that you are nervous.

I'm not full surprised.

You would be nervous, too, if you were out here standing guard over a block of

deadly frozen fluid.

What do you think I am doing out here, Dr. Smith? Waiting for a trolley? Spare

me your feeble attempt if you are.

Something's approaching.

There is no cause for alarm.

It was a slide of loose gravel.

Oh, dear.

I'm beginning to imagine things.

I'm not all well.

Oh, dear.

This blanket is definitely not operating properly.

It's no good.

It's no good at all.

I shall freeze to death unless I have something hot to drink.

Personnel on guard duty are not permitted to leave their post without

explaining... There.

That will teach you, you tin -plated tatterdale.

Ah, the benison of a hot beverage.

Coffee.

So nice.

What a lovely, restful place this is.

I think I'll lie down here.

No, but just for a moment.

After all, there is work to be done.

Yes, just for a moment.

There.

Don, what is it?

I don't know.

I'm going to find out.

Smith, get up. I'm innocent.

What are you doing out here?

Get on your feet.

I must have walked to my sleep. I'll bet.

Dr. Smith, what's going on?

William, I'm afraid I'm guilty of deserting my post.

But temporarily, of course. And quite unintentionally.

The whole ice block is melting.

Whatever was in that sarcophagus obviously was smart enough to deactivate

robot. Major, I have no idea how it happened, but I seem to have the robot's

power pack.

Are you sure you don't know how that happened, Smith? Quite sure.

But I do seem to recall that he was extremely rude to me.

Dr. Smith called me a tin -plated tattletale.

You traitor!

I was about to warn him that it was dangerous to place a thermal blanket in

close contact with a frozen block of fluid.

I see.

Well, there's one bit of scientific information we can thank you for,

The fluid melts at thermal blanket temperature.

And revives the organism it contained.

Don, look at that!

That's what woke me.

I heard something moving past the tent.

Let's see where they lead.

I feel quite shivery.

Achoo! I do believe I'm coming down with something.

My feet feel like ice.

The reason is obvious, Dr. Smith. You are standing in frozen fluid.

Melted, that is.

Well, it goes this far.

It backs off.

Afraid of the fire, perhaps?

Evidently. We'd better call the search off until morning, huh? But it might

still be in the area.

You are correct, Judy.

An alien organism is in the area.

It may be watching us right now for all we know.

It's not going to be watching you because you're going to bed right now.

But, Don, I'm not sleepy.

You will be once you're safely back in your sleeping bag. But, Don! How can I

sleep when this thing is... Come on, hit it.

Good night. Good night.

I think you'd better get some rest too, Judy, huh?

Robot and I will stay and guard.

Hey, John.

If I don't put on a pair of dry socks immediately, I shall have chillblains by

morning.

Please don't throw this thing at me. I just came here for a pair of warm socks,

really.

We mean no harm to you.

You mean no harm to us.

Look, see?

The way you spear.

How's your chance to do away with her? That won't be necessary, Smith.

Or desirable.

She's just as frightened of us as you are of her.

I'm from the planet Earth. My name is West.

And I am Dr. Zachary Smith. Adieu.

The alien creature is from a cold and distant planet.

Her vocal cords do not function in temperate climates.

You don't have to be scared of it.

If you come with me, maybe we can find a way to talk to each other.

Well, Judy?

This is the terrible creature that Smith expected to find in the sarcophagus.

She's beautiful.

Do you know who she is or where she's from?

From a cold and distant planet, that's all we know. But we'll learn more once

gain her confidence.

I'll pour some coffee.

There's no need to be frightened.

It was probably just a meteor.

Whatever it was, it represents some sort of danger to her.

Well, at least she knows we don't represent any danger.

Robot, do you know where it landed?

I can give you its position. That is all.

900 terrestrial meters.

South by southeast.

That's pretty close. Maybe you and I should go investigate, Dr. Smith.

Certainly not, William.

I'm still officially on guard duty, you know. I wouldn't dream of abandoning my

post. Besides, only fools step in where angels fear to tread.

I sure would like to know what it is. The Major will give you all the

information you need in the morning.

It might be gone by then.

I know.

Robot, go over there and case the area. Just get close enough to get some

information. But if it looks dangerous, come right back. Don't take any chances.

I will heed your advice, Will Robinson.

Dr. Smith, I thought you were supposed to be on guard duty.

According to a recent survey, William, it was discovered that all personnel

function much more effectively when allowed a coffee break.

I

am

a robot. I am here on an investigative mission.

However, I must give you fair warning that I am programmed to defend myself if

am attacked.

You make so much talk like big city lawyer.

Show how you defend yourself.

Lay.

Now I show you how Chavo defend.

It's pretty good, no?

You and me.

Fifty -fifty proposition.

You no attack Chavo, Chavo no attack Toro.

It is a deal.

Chalos.

It's pretty good homes you got here, amigo.

Un momentito, un momentito.

Ven,

Torito. Ven, Torito. Ven, Toro.

That does not compute.

Hey, maybe, maybe I teach you, huh? If you like that.

Negative. My investigation is now complete. I am leaving.

Hey, Tito, Tito.

One momentito.

Just a momentito.

Hey.

Have a little drink with Chavo, huh?

Chavo feel mucho in salt.

If you don't have a drink, it's important costume that amigos must drink

together.

Mira.

Ah, now you.

Gracias, but I am not programmed to accept fermented beverages.

What?

Fermented? It's good for you.

Vamos, here. Mira.

Did you like, yes?

Hey,

take here. Take some more.

Dorito, maybe you tell me something, yes?

It depends on whether it is contained within my memory banks. Uh, memory

Uh, memory banks.

Listen, uh, if perhaps you know, there is pretty muchacha here someplace.

She's Princessa the Yellow.

How do you call her?

Ice Princess.

You know where little muchacha is, huh?

I am not at liberty to reveal privilege, privileged, privileged information.

Uno mas, nada mas.

Uno mas. Uno mas. Uno mas.

Do you hear that? It sounds like our robot.

It can't be.

It's someone singing.

We'd better find out what it is before it wakes up Don and Judy. William, what

about the ice girl?

Well, she'll be all right.

She looks frozen.

Poor child.

I guess that's her natural look. Come on, let's go.

What took you so long? Did you find anything out?

What's happened to him?

I cannot be certain, William.

But offhand, I'd say that our roly -poly rowdy has had a drop or two to drink.

it have to happen to me.

My memory banks will never be the same again.

Take it easy. You're going to be okay.

I seriously doubt that.

Obviously, he's not fit to be trusted with a responsible mission. He's no

than a barfly.

We were amigos.

I trusted Chavo.

Chavo? Who is this Chavo?

I wanted to be polite.

I couldn't refuse when he kept pouring fluid into my memory banks.

Fluid, indeed.

Do you think I will recover, Will Robinson?

I hope so.

You're going to have to be dried out in the sun, though. That's for sure.

Robot, one of your reserved computers is gone.

Did Chavo take it?

Kian Sabi, I am sorry, Will Robinson.

I am afraid I goofed, and that is not all.

What else happened?

I may have talked too much.

You always do, you garrulous gargoyle.

Obviously, this Chavo is a dreadful villain, and our lives are not worth a

moment's purchase. We must do something at once.

Well, maybe you and I should go talk to him, Dr. Smith.

Blended idea, William.

Why don't you go over there and have a nice little chat with him while I stay

here and nurse our poor, dear, sick friend? He needs constant attention.

Dr. Smith, why do you always have an alibi when something important has to be

done? He also serves who stands and nurses.

All right, I'll go talk to him. But I'm only going to get the robot's computer

back. His first -line computer assembly should blow out.

He'd be nothing but a bunch of junk.

I'll be back as soon as I can.

Be careful, will you?

Well, what have you got to say for yourself?

Will this dizzy feeling ever leave me?

I hope not.

Pretty good soldados, muchacho, no?

If you're the one who took our robot's computer, well, I'd like it back,

Ole, muchacho.

You have mucho valor.

You're not afraid of Chavo and his army?

Sure I'm afraid.

But I don't see why you'd want to hurt me. I don't even know what you're doing

here. Well, I tell you, there was once upon a time...

Una hermosa muchacha de hielo.

You mean the ice princess, I guess.

Si, ice princess.

Ice princess is very much loved by madre and padre.

They do not wish her to die or to be stolen, Lesoya. They hide her away until

it's time for her to be queen.

I have had a very hard time trying to find her.

Why do you want to find her?

To take her back to her madre and padre.

Is it time for her to become queen?

Little Inocente, you do not understand.

I tell you when you're older.

You want to hold her for ransom, don't you?

So much talk from one so young.

Well, I don't think you're going to get away with it.

Is that your opinion?

And Don's. I'm going to go tell him what you're doing here.

You want Chavo to turn loose his soldados, muchacho?

Don's not afraid of your old soldados either.

Oh, hey, muchacho!

I think I'd like you to stay a while with Charles.

Smith, everything under control?

Oh, yes, Major.

Everything is under control, except for the fact that this century nonsense is

wreaking havoc with my bunions.

Well, well.

William decided to take a short constitutional before breakfast.

His appetite has been very poor lately.

Well, I hope for your sake he hasn't gone too far.

Good morning.

Ah, good morning, my dear. I was just telling the major that William is taking

short constitutional.

That's unusual.

And how's our visitor this morning?

Don?

Why are you afraid?

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Look, come out here and see for yourself.

I don't understand it.

She seems more scared now than she did last night.

Smith, are you positive you were wide awake all the time? Oh, absolutely,

It was gone.

You make visitors welcome.

Who are you and what do you want?

My name is Charlo.

Good heavens.

Charlo. It's the villain himself.

What villain? Do you know him?

Not personally, Major. Just by hearsay.

I do believe I shall join William for his constitutional... Smith!

So, you heard about Chavo, muy bueno.

I have good publicity all over the galaxy.

Well, I, for one, have never heard of you.

I'm still waiting to find out what you're doing here.

Ustedes hombres always want to know everything right away.

It's better when you take a little time to talk.

Have a nice drink.

There's some coffee if you'd like some of that.

It can wait.

Nice camp you got here.

When did you get here?

Where are you from?

I thought I was asking the questions.

You ask questions.

I ask questions.

Same difference.

All good friendly talk.

Something special inside.

You don't want Chavo to see, amigo?

Why don't you try asking permission before you start nosing around other

people's property?

And it's denied.

You're not too friendly, amigo.

That's right, I'm not.

As a matter of fact, I think it's time you left here.

Take it for what it is.

So where is it good to fight, amigo?

All I come is to... to ask you, maybe you can help Chavo with

mercy mission.

Mercy mission?

Si, mercy mission.

Another planet.

There is padre and madre wringing their hands, crying, praying.

for the return of little lost muchacha.

So I, Chavo, promised to find her for them.

Did the parents give you the authority to make the search?

Ciertamente. You think I make such a search without authority?

Thank you, Chavo.

That's all I needed to know.

The sooner you get out of here, the better.

You know something, amigo?

I think you helped Chavo with mercenaries.

And what makes you think that?

By tonight, I think you deliver poor little princess to

Chavo. What's that supposed to be, some kind of an ultimatum?

Such hard, angry word.

The boy is like you.

He also uses angry, hard words.

What do you know about my brother?

Oh, the boy.

El muchacho, we are very, very good friends.

I take excellent care of the muchacho. Until tonight.

When you deliver the poor little lot, Princesa de Chao.

Major! Major?

Oh, William and I had a lovely constitutional... Is that so, Smith?

lovely. Dr. Smith,

Jarvo's got Will.

You know, I'm afraid I'm partly to blame for that. Okay, let's have it.

It's a long story.

You see, William was so curious about the flare we saw in the sky last night,

insisted upon going out to investigate it. And you let him go?

The robot had just returned from a similar expedition and rather...

Well, inebriated condition.

I thought it was quite innocent.

Naturally, I voiced my strongest objections.

Jody, you get a gun and keep watching the girl. Smith and I are going after

Will. Major, I'm afraid my bunions might prove a serious impediment.

If they do, you can get in your hands and knees and crawl. Come on.

Major, I'm completely exhausted.

Perhaps you'd better go on without me. I can only be a hindrance to you.

Not this time, Smith.

You're going to be a decoy.

But decoys are usually shot at, aren't they?

Look!

Come on, get down.

Eat, muchacho, eat.

Eat to build up your strength.

I'm not very hungry.

How are you going to be big and strong like Chavo if you don't eat?

Where are you going?

I figured your soldiers would be hungry. I was going to give it to them.

I give.

Hey, soldados, you want food?

They ate already.

Good muchachos.

I have candy.

Come on.

Well, at least he's not mistreating Will.

He seems quite paternal.

Oh, yeah, like a father alligator.

Well, I guess we're going to have to wait until night before we can do

Then surely you will not require my services that decoy any longer. Will

To the contrary Smith.

I'll need him even more It

was

all right for now anyway, you didn't see from a distance Chavo was very nice to

William. He gave him candy Now look Judy We've got until midnight to talk to

that girl and find out how much of what Chavo told us is true. She'll talk to

us. Let's find out.

She's gone.

What?

It's all your fault, you irresponsible wine -bibber.

If you had been in any decent condition, that ice girl would still be here to

make the exchange with William.

Poor dear boy. There's no hope for him now.

The Major will never find that girl. And who, may I ask, is responsible for

letting Will Robinson go in the first place?

Surely you didn't expect me to go. I was busy playing nursemaid to you.

A likely story.

You should be ashamed of yourself, Dr. Smith, sending a boy to do a man's job.

Are you not ashamed?

Indeed I am not. I did what I had to do.

You are a coward, Dr. Smith.

A coward? I?

I'll have you know I'm famous for my bravery.

Then it is up to you to rescue Will Robinson.

It is?

How? By acting as a decoy.

I have a complete plan.

I'm sure I won't like it, but let me hear it.

Time is a

-wasting, Dr. Smith.

Be still, Ninny.

I'm doing the best I can with your preposterous plan.

It is not preposterous.

It is brilliant.

Wow.

Indeed.

This is the final ignominy. A man of my quality reduced to this deceit.

It will never work.

It will work, Dr. Smith.

For a moment, I thought it was her.

Hold her up, Dr.

Smith. Hold her up.

Very well. I shall do it, but only under the strongest protest and only with the

condition that the moment I lure Chavo in my direction, you will finish him

Affirmative, Dr. Smith.

Now remember, your firing batteries must be charged for maximum firing power.

Will you remember that?

Affirmative. Now follow me.

On second thought,

this senorita and I will follow you.

That is what you usually do.

Spare me the saucy sallies, John Bollicorn.

Proceed.

Now you, madam, come along with me, and we shall see what we shall see.

Friendly Mayor loses valuable time.

It better come soon with the princess or I get very furious.

Hello there.

Hey. Hey, muchacho.

She's here.

Hello there.

Come, princesita. Show yourself.

Your friend the mayor is wise.

Princesa, Chava waits for you.

Will you let me? the boy go, I will come to you.

Keep her up, Dr.

Smith. Keep her up.

How do I know you keep your promise, princess?

A princess never lies.

Here is my bond.

Come, muchacho, go.

You're free. Tell your friends hasta la vista.

I don't understand.

Don would never... Ah, your mayor is a wise man.

He knows when it's licked. Go now, go.

Princessa.

Princessa. Shabba waits for you.

Come and get me, honey.

Right away.

Fire. Fire. Where did he come from? He's in range.

Affirmative.

Princessita.

It is mucho dark.

I cannot see you very well.

Show yourself, princesa.

Fire, stupid, fire!

My firing batteries appear to be dead, Dr. Smith.

Then recharge them, you dungaree, don't you?

Ah, princesa.

Oh, toro, mi amigo.

You are dueña chaperona for princesa. You may go now. I take care of princesa.

Ay, princesita.

It's not necessary a struggle, princesa. Chavo take very, very good care of you.

We go to my estancia.

I send message to your padre and madre.

Then, pretty soon, I'll ship you in a royal ship to your planet.

Oh, no.

You're making a terrible mistake.

Huh?

What is?

Your face is changing like boy.

You are shy.

Come on. Show your pretty face to Chavo. And smile for Chavo.

Come on, princesita.

Come on.

Vente, princesa. Vente.

Vente, princesita.

Ay, pero mira que...

You're a young princess.

You're a waxword dummy.

I'm not a dummy. You're a dummy.

Well, you make voice like dummy.

You make dummy talk like dummy and walk like dummy. So you must be dummy too.

What are you going to do to me?

Shut your face, you princess.

Yes, honey.

What?

What is it? What are you going to do?

How'd you get away?

Don't you know? He sent the ice princess to him. Hey, now, wait a minute. Ice

princess?

Oh, no.

She disappeared this morning. She did? Yeah.

But a girl showed up there.

You know, when I really think about it, she didn't sound much like a girl.

Must have been Smith.

Dr. Smith? Yeah, he and the robot are missing.

Well, we better go get him. No, no, not so fast. We don't want to jump into it.

You have plenty tricks, senora.

You send an old fool to make monkey of Chavo. But that is not permitted.

It is an insult.

Throw away your gun.

We fight with knives.

Well, get back. Way back.

Look, Chavo.

That girl you were looking for.

She was with us. But she disappeared.

Liar.

Fight.

Now you come to make corrida with Chau, huh?

Affirmative.

It is irresistible, senor.

First, I take care of Taro.

Then, I take care of you.

Taro! Taro!

Taro, you die soon.

Your moment of truth is very cold. Come on, Taro.

Tarot.

Hey, why don't you shout away?

Tarot.

Come to the muleta, Tarot. Come.

Mr. Cavill, are you hurt?

Oh,

I'm destroyed.

I never lose a fight with Boris. Never.

I never can show my face to my friends.

Well, it can't be that bad.

Maybe I'm getting a little too old for bullfighting. Maybe I go back to ranch

and watch the young ones like you grow bold and brave.

He's a fine, brave boy.

It makes proud to have a friend like that.

What you said about Princessa the Yellow, I believe.

But I don't look for her anymore.

I go back to Rancho.

Hey, Toto.

Do not be too proud.

The braver the bull, the harder he falls.

Adios, senor.

Hasta luego, muchacho.

Adios.

Thank heavens I'm in time to warn you that terrible Chavo may be here at any

moment. He's been here and gone, no thanks to you.

Don, look!

She's gone.

Good riddance.

She has had herself summoned back to her own planet.

And not a moment too soon.

Why didn't she just do that in the first place instead of letting us get into

all that trouble with Chavo?

Yeah, why?

With alien life forms, ours is not to reason why.

Ours is but to do or become permanently deactivated.

I don't think that's quite right.

But I guess it turned out for the best.

You have any trouble setting up the antenna?

Just the usual. Yeah, once the bounty hunter left and the ice princess

disappeared, it was a cinch. A bounty hunter and an ice princess?

I'll tell you all about that later.

Where's Dr. Smith?

Oh, last time I saw him, he and the robot were fighting over a senorita.

A senorita?

There.

Take her. She's yours.

I created her for you. She is yours.

What's going on?

Oh, John, just one of those usual old -fashioned love triangles. Love

indeed. The rates of this triangle, they're nearly costing me my life.

Correction. I gave your life meaning.

Oh, booby. Come on, Smith. Get in this chariot or you'll be left behind.

What shall we do with her?

Why don't you try serenading her? I think she needs it.

Come on, madam.

For thousands of years, since the first dawn of knowledge, man has known that

there was another parallel world close by his own. A world somehow like ours,

but of incredible darkness and fear.

It has been called many different names by many different cultures, but the

shadowy legend of his dark rear world persisted in the minds of men over the

ages. And with it, the terror that one day the fearful inhabitants of this

world would somehow penetrate into our world, Spare me the dreary details,

William. Surely you can find something more pleasant in that fairy tale book.

Dr. Smith, this isn't a fairy tale book. This is a book about weird, unexplained

legends of the past.

Idiotic folklore, that's what it is.

Unsubstantiated drivel passed down by simple peasant mentalities.

Well, it may be folklore, but I'll bet there's a scientific explanation for

everything in this book.

But before you delve too deeply into the scientific explanation, would you be

good enough to fetch me a pillow from the ship? I feel the need of a brief

conducive to my quiet time.

Besides, that ridiculous book will just clutter your mind with nonsensical

nonsense.

It's out there.

Somewhere it's out there. I can feel it.

A door to the other world.

One point in the entire universe where we can break free and pass over into

their world.

If we can, how do we know that we can get through?

An atomizing unit.

We'll need an atomizing unit.

And if it could reach sufficient power... Then we'll find our opposites.

Force them to come back here.

And we'll be free.

No, not you.

Not this time.

Mine's closest.

I can feel it.

If we cannot balance the energy intake with the atomizing unit, how are we ever

going to get back into flight?

By studying the problem, I may be able to supply knowledge needed to construct

duplicate of the missing section.

It's all yours.

The blueprint completed the schematic.

Double X minus zero.

The task which remains must be carried to Y plus W2, the first step.

Dr. Smith's off -key humming is disturbing my sensors.

Off -key indeed, you cackling clown.

I conscribe the perfect cure for your sensitive nervous system, the removal of

your power pack.

I had reached a computed conclusion.

Now it has been lost.

Doctor.

We'll never get those motors to working again until we get that schematic

straightened out. If it is that important, I suggest you do not leave it

tender nurses of this mental midget.

I cannot continue my calculations with Dr. Smith's highly emotional outburst

disturbing the immediate area.

Suppose you go inside. Maybe you can be of some assistance to my wife.

Zachary Smith relegated to the kitchen?

Yes, maybe you can toss a salad or something.

I refuse. I absolutely refuse.

Inside, Smith.

Very well.

Just you wait.

All right, now.

Thank you, Professor Robinson. Now we can proceed with the most critical

the clearing of the chamber exhaust.

But I cannot recommend that it be attempted.

It's got to be done.

The fuel temperature equalization is highly delicate procedure.

These units are still in a dangerously unstabilized condition.

I know, but it's a chance we'll have to take if we're ever going to get these

motors repaired.

Very well.

Activate. All right, give me a temperature reading.

265.

300.

Over here!

Over here!

Professor Robinson, where are you?

Where are you, Professor Robinson?

Professor Robinson, where are you?

Professor Robinson, where are you?

Professor Robinson, Professor Robinson, where are you? Where are you, Professor

Robinson?

Did you see it?

Did you see what happened? All we know is that Professor Robinson disappeared

when you activated this machine. Now, what happened? It is all my fault. John,

what are we going to do? Will, don't worry. We'll get your dad back. Just

worry. Professor Robinson, where are you?

Now, get a hold of yourself.

Now, listen. If we turn on this fuel output machine again and duplicate the

conditions, will we get Professor Robinson back?

Until we fully understand what has happened, I would strongly advise

such action.

Well, we have to do something.

This problem involves space, time, and matter. It will take complicated... to

arrive at a solution.

Who are you?

I asked you who you are.

I'm Professor John Robinson.

Everyone knows that.

John!

Where are we?

This is your home.

You'll never leave it again.

My friend is probably at the alternate meeting place.

I don't want to keep him waiting.

On your feet! Not until you tell me what this is all about.

Now, I've gone to a lot of trouble to get you here.

And I need you for my plans.

But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't kill you in a split second if you got in

my way.

You understand?

If given a choice, I'd rather not have to kill part of myself.

My senses warn me of the danger.

My goodness, it's been thundering and lightning for hours.

I wish it would rain or snow or whatever it's going to do and get it over with.

According to our weather instruments, there isn't any storm.

Mrs. Robinson.

This strange climatic occurrence is the result of two worlds whose magnetic

stability is out of balance.

And that, thank you, makes just about as much sense as our weather readings.

This atmospheric disturbance is tied in with the disappearance of Professor

Robinson.

Well, can't you compute what's happened to him and help us get him back?

It is a very difficult computation.

I would gladly burn out all my transistors to accomplish the

I know. You're doing everything you can.

Well, we're not helping matters any by staying up and worrying. We might as

get to sleep.

Maybe the robot can throw up some answers in the morning.

It took you long enough getting back here.

I had to wait for the right time.

Here's your duplicate, all right?

When do we get mine?

Soon.

I still don't think it's going to work.

It must work.

We've been prisoners here far too long.

Thousands and thousands and thousands of years.

Prisoners?

Aren't we all?

Prisoners of our crimes and weaknesses.

Now, Professor, we'll change clothes.

Don't make us force you.

Allow me to be the first to welcome you to your new world.

Robot, I couldn't sleep.

I thought maybe you and I could work on what happened to Dad together.

So far, all my computations are just worthless spots on my computer tapes.

I am a miserable failure.

Don't worry. You'll think of something. I know you will.

You know, maybe Don was right.

Maybe if we recreated the same situation as when Dad disappeared... I do not

believe that would bring your father back.

No. But it might send us to him. No, Will Robinson.

What you suggest is extremely dangerous.

Well, we have to do something.

Suppose Dad's hurt and he needs our help.

A point well made.

Activate the machines.

I know you'd go with me.

Are you frightened, Will Robinson?

Yes.

What's happening to us? Our bodies have not yet adjusted to molecular

displacement.

But where are we?

I will try to compute our surroundings.

We are nowhere.

This place does not exist anywhere in time or space.

But we're here. We have to be somewhere.

We are between any number of dimensions.

If we were to fall into...

One of them.

Well, let's hope Dad didn't fall into one. If he did, then he is lost forever.

Take him back.

but to continue there is no way for us to return to our own planet is that me

a reflection of your negative self we sure are in a strange place i also wish

to observe my appearance

I am. You're a robot. You're supposed to be functional, not pretty.

Mirror, mirror on the wall.

Who is the ugliest robot of all?

Me. That is who.

Maybe your general appearance could stand a little improving, but that's not

important. It's your character that counts.

Well, you're kind and generous and intelligent. You're just an all -around

robot. Yes, I do have certain appealing qualities.

Who cares if I'm an ugly duckling on the outside?

That's the spirit. And now that we've solved that problem, can we go on?

If necessary, I will follow you to the very end of space itself, Will Robinson.

Stop, Will Robinson.

My computations tell me we have arrived.

opposite of our universe I also compute great danger there

maybe your sensors just aren't adjusted to that world yet I hope that is it will

you take my hand again will Robinson

Just a coincidence.

But we left a place where it was thundering and lightning, and it's doing

same thing here.

This world is also out of balance.

I just hope we can find Dad and get out of here in a hurry.

Dad?

Dad, it's me, Will!

Dad?

Dad, can you hear me?

Wait, Will Robinson.

There is something wrong here.

Something very...

something more i mean the danger is all around us i can see around us there's a

bunch of old rocks

find dad.

Affirmative.

This is like searching for a needle in a haystack.

That task can be accomplished if one has patience and fortitude.

Professor Robinson!

Professor Robinson!

I'm glad to see you.

I'm very glad to see you.

We sure were lucky to find you like this.

It was a stroke of luck.

I couldn't have asked for anything. I'd wanted more.

Returning to our home base will prove to be extremely difficult, Professor

Robinson. There's a departure place.

Almost a bridge between here and home.

I think I can get us back there.

You still have not told us what happened to you, Professor Robinson?

There was a magnetic imbalance.

You saw that.

And I don't know. I guess I was just teletransported here.

Yes. I was present during the magnetic imbalance.

My scanners also detected another presence. Someone who took you away with

Another person?

You have a very vivid imagination, robot.

There was no one else.

I am not programmed for imagination.

Perhaps there's something wrong with your scanning equipment.

We'll have to check it out when we get back.

My scanners have just had their $25 ,000 checkup. They are in perfect working

order.

Apparently they're not.

There was no one else.

But we can discuss that later. Right now, the important thing is for us to

home safely.

Dad's right, Robot.

Which one?

Ours, I hope.

You're doing it, Dad. You're doing it. You did it.

We're very lucky, son.

Was it just a matter of chance, Professor Robinson?

What's that supposed to mean?

It was merely a thought. And we'd better check your tapes also.

You're not programmed for thinking.

Darling.

Oh, my goodness. I'm so glad you're back. I kept... I was telling myself

everything would work out all right, but I just didn't believe it.

Oh, we were so worried, Dad.

Welcome back, Dad.

Well, Will and the robot deserve all the credit for getting me here.

If it hadn't been for them, I'd... I'd still be lost.

Well, I think it's right to celebration.

Oh, could we? I'll get my tape recorder and we'll have some music. And as an

extra treat, we can use some of the reserved food supplies.

Well, why not? After all, it is a special occasion.

Now, we have no time for parties. We must make our repairs and leave.

Why? What's the hurry? I mean, you're back safely now. I think that calls for

celebration. We can't waste the time. We must leave immediately.

You know, if I didn't know better, John, I'd say you were acting like a man on

the run.

Yes, I guess you're right.

I am a little jumpy.

This whole affair has had its effect on my nerves.

Well, there's nothing better for a case of nerves than a good party.

Come on.

Come on, Will. Let's have a party.

Jody Robinson.

Can I speak to you for a moment?

We can talk at the party. You're invited to. No.

I am not sure this is an occasion for happiness.

How long has the thunderstorm been over?

Just a few minutes.

It stopped about the time you, Will, and Dad returned.

The two worlds are once again balanced.

I don't understand what you mean.

When my sensors have reached a final conclusion, I will tell everyone.

The reserve food supply. I think it was a splendid party. Ah, yes, indeed,

madam. All things considered, the repast was truly a gourmet delight.

Now, how would you know that, Smith?

Spare me the poisonous barbs, Major.

Zachary Smith has always traveled through the universe first cabin until

ill -fated journey.

Well, now that we've all had our fill of fun and food, I suggest we get back to

work. Work?

Madam, you must excuse me. I shall retire to my quarters and meditate.

Evidently, you didn't understand me, Major.

There's no half hour.

Get to work immediately.

John, that's no way to talk.

When I want your advice, I'll ask for it.

Don't you and Judy have something to do in the galley?

John... Well, do it.

The last thing... What I want to do is get in the middle of a family argument,

but you were way off base with Maureen just now.

You're right.

I was a little hard on her.

But it was for her own good.

For the good of all of us.

Look, I've seen that other place.

I know the horrors of it.

And how close it is and how it threatens us.

And I'm going to drive everyone in this group, myself included...

To make all necessary repairs and leave here as soon as possible.

And if at times I seem hard, even unsympathetic, it's because I'm

the safety and welfare of us all.

All right.

Let's get back to work. Right. Smith and I will take off.

Well, I'll be.

My watch is running backwards.

Look. The second hand's going in the wrong direction.

I'll check mine.

It's gone crazy, too.

Dad,

you know, you once told me that in space, time isn't measured by the

the hours, but by the millions of years. Do you remember?

Yes.

Dad, do you think you could take a look at my recorder? There's something wrong

with it.

We'll fix it later, Penny. We've got a lot of work to do right now.

I hope you can see to it soon, because a recorder that runs backwards isn't much

good. All right, we've wasted enough time.

Let's get back to work.

Should you finish working on that condenser yet?

What's taking you so long?

Can't we finish dismantling this weather station in the morning?

We haven't got that much to do.

If we finish tonight, we can devote the morning to getting the ship ready for

pre -launch. What's the hurry? A couple of more days and this planet won't make

much difference. Come on, let's call it a night. Stay until you're finished,

understand?

Take it easy, will you?

I'll take it easy when we're off this planet. Now get back to work.

Well, John, I know you've had a rough time of it, but that doesn't give you

right to lean on me.

You're shiftless. You're lazy and you're worthless.

Just like your opposite.

Opposite? Now what are you talking about?

What's the matter with you? You're acting like some kind of a... You're

Maybe I've been pushing too hard.

I need you.

It is very late, Will Robinson.

Why aren't you asleep?

Well, I had this strange dream.

I dreamt that Dad was in trouble and he was calling for me. But how could that

be when Dad's here?

Is he?

I have been observing the man we brought back from the other place.

You mean my father?

Have you noticed that even in strong sunlight, he cast no shadow?

No. I hadn't noticed that.

Penny's tape recorder.

Your watch.

And Major West's watch, too.

Are you trying to say he isn't my father?

He is. And then again, he is not.

You're not making any sense.

There are areas which are unclear to me also, Will Robinson.

But I will tell you what I do know.

Well, go ahead. I'm listening. I suspect that the man you believe to be your

father is in reality an anti -matter John Robinson from an anti -matter

Anti... Shh!

Anti -matter? We know that all matter has its opposite.

This principle could also apply to individuals.

Two fathers?

That's hard to believe.

Do you remember the storm which came up when Professor Robinson disappeared?

Sure.

It was caused by matter displacement.

Both John Robinsons were in the same world.

And when we came back with my anti -matter father, the storm stopped.

Because the balance between the two worlds had been restored.

Well, let's go wake everyone up and tell them. No.

All this is only theory on my part.

I have no facts to back it up. I'll give you a fact to back it up. We're going

back into that anti -matter world. We're going to find my real father and bring

him back.

No, Will Robinson.

It is much too dangerous.

Well, isn't it just as dangerous to leave this anti -matter man here,

he's my father? We don't know what he's trying to do. He might want to kill us.

Either way, he's filled with danger.

Well, I know that I can't leave my father in trouble without trying to help

Now, are you coming with me, or do I have to go alone?

My sensors compute extreme danger, but I cannot let you go alone.

For what?

You're just about the best friend anyone ever had.

Friendship was one of the first virtues programmed into me.

Okay, let's go.

Remember, when you get to the antimatter world, wait for me. I will only be a

moment behind you. Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere alone if I can help you.

Stop! Hurry! It's a big division!

You are more trouble to me than you're worth. What a ridiculous place to be

sleeping. I was not sleeping.

I was knocked down by a man you believed to be John Robinson.

Professor Robinson knocked you down?

Impossible. It was not Professor Robinson.

It was his anti -matter self.

Anti -matter self?

Good heavens, he's finally cracked.

I've been expecting it.

Oh, I cannot waste time explaining to you. I must go to the anti -matter

Will Robinson is there. Will?

Can he...

Anti -matter world?

Yes. He has gone to search for his real father.

Anti -matter world? Real father?

What in the world are you talking about, you ninny?

Major, even a simple mind like yours cannot believe all this nonsense.

Activate the atomic engine, Major.

Now, look, robot.

I know you're programmed for truthfulness, but you've been operating

a strain lately.

Maybe your micro -controls are worn out or something.

Even if they were, you know my control mechanism is self -repairing.

Major, you must activate the atomic engine. You must. You must.

All right, let's get him up.

Never have I heard such absolute bold of us.

Activate the atomic engine, Major.

Major, activate the atomic engine.

You don't believe him, do you?

You, sir, stop this idiocy at once, do you hear?

Activated, Major.

Major, activated.

Now. One more word.

predicaments have you gotten me into now?

This is a corridor of the antimatter world. You were so certain did not

Very well. You made your point, my dear friend. I believe you. I do.

Get me out of here and back to the Jupiter immediately.

There is no time for that now. We must find Will and Professor Robinson first.

Why do these terrible things always happen to me? Why always to me?

Always to me?

version of the real John Robinson.

That explains so many things.

Well, where are John and Will now?

I don't know.

Somewhere in the anti -matter world.

Then all we have to do is find the real Professor and William, and we can all

return to the Jupiter.

What is this?

The entrance to the antimatter world.

How do we get through it?

Our physical presence will probably cause it to open and admit us.

Will you take my hand?

Oh, all right.

There's a storm here. We'd better go back.

Our planet and the antimatter world are now out of balance.

What does that mean? When both John Robinsons are in the same world, a

displacement occurs, causing violent electrical charges to be released.

But if both professors are here, how will we ever tell them apart? It will

be difficult. One is good and the other evil.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Let him go. You don't have to keep him here.

I have no intention of keeping him here.

He's coming back with me.

I'm not going anywhere without my father.

I'm afraid that's impossible.

The worlds have to remain in balance.

Matter and antimatter. Each must equal the other.

I don't care. I'm staying here with my father.

You know I could force you to go with me.

You'll never pull this off.

Or you may get away for now.

But somehow I'll get out of here. And when I do, I'll hound you to the ends of

the universe.

That's a foolish outburst of bravado, Professor Robinson.

It might tempt me to kill you now and have it done with. That's a bluff, and

know it.

You can't kill me. You need me.

You need me to balance your entrance into the other world. Yes, I do need you

here to balance my escape while I return to the freedom of your world.

And he won't escape either, will he?

No one escapes from the antimatter world.

Except us.

Come, it's time to go to the Jupiter II. I told you, I'm not going anywhere with

you. Not only are you going back with me, but once we get there, you're not

going to breathe one word about who I am or where the real John Robinson is.

The minute I get back, I'm going to tell everyone everything I know.

I don't think you'd be so foolish.

Because once my true identity is known, my plans for escape will be ruined.

And once they're ruined, I wouldn't have any reason to... Keep your father

alive.

Do you understand that?

I guess I do.

Then you'll behave and do exactly as you're told.

Come.

You wait here.

Why?

He's more than enough guard for the prisoner.

You can't leave here till I bring back your duplicate.

Let me go with you and help get him back here.

I don't need any help. Come on.

Stand guard here.

Said thy man of worlds are no different than any others.

There's a sucker born here every minute also.

That's enough of that.

Do you really think he's going to come back here for you? I said that's enough

of that.

Sure, that's enough.

I can just see him going to a whole lot of trouble to bring back your duplicate.

He will, he will, he will. I know he will.

Sure, sure he will.

And by the time you wake up to the fact that... You've been double -crossed.

He'll be at least two galaxies away from here. I said for you to shut up!

Shut up!

What are you doing?

My sensors compute danger ahead.

Where are you going? You said there's danger ahead. Wait for me, you cowardly

gun! Wait for me!

Wait!

Stop! Stop, you hear?

Wait for me!

Wait for me!

Just in time.

I'm going after Will and that anti -matter man.

My sensors indicate you are.

I... I cannot compute what this means.

So you're the goody -goody one.

What are you in for, kid?

I do not compute that expression.

What are you doing time for, dumb -dumb? I am not doing time. I am in here by

mistake. That's what they all say.

And you?

What are you in for?

For being everything you're not.

untrustworthy, disloyal, unhelpful, unfriendly, rude, mean, disobedient, and

the rest of it.

Got the picture.

I am sorry for you.

Don't be.

If it weren't for me, you couldn't be you.

This is the opposite world.

You're free in your world.

Therefore, I'm imprisoned here.

The shining and bright and good one.

But there must be something I can do to help you. I don't need anything from

you, punk. Just get out of here while you can.

Go on, scram, beat it.

Get lost.

No one to stop me. Oh, no.

I'm afraid you're not quite up to it yet.

In a few years, perhaps.

But not now or in the near future.

You sound like you're planning to be around for quite a while.

That's exactly what I'm planning.

So you'd better get used to seeing me around.

After all, I am a member of the family.

I don't know what you are, but you're definitely not one of us.

Now, is that any way to talk to your father?

You're not my...

I am.

You're not. And my real father's not going to let you do this. He'll come

us. I'll just bet he will.

He'd better not.

That would be a disaster.

It would be as if a man were fighting against himself.

Well, I don't know about that.

But I just know he's going to come after us.

If you love your father as much as you say you do.

I can't tell you how good it is to be home.

I guess we're all lucky to be back here, Robot.

Ah, lucky indeed.

If I hadn't had that fight with that alien, none of us would ever have come

here.

You know, I wonder what ever happened to that anti -matter man.

The worlds are once again in balance.

Wherever he is, he is in the anti -matter world and not here.

And a good thing, too.

I should hate to have to fight all those dreadful people again.