Original subtitles

I'll be ready when you want me. I'll be ready.

I'll be ready when you want me. I'll be ready.

You know I'm right for you.

I'll be free when you want me, I'll be ready.

I'll be free when you want me, I'll be ready.

You know I'm ready for you, I'll be ready.

So,

I never got a chance to talk to you about Lacey's lingerie party.

Lingerie party?

Was that, like, code for origin?

No. She's selling her lingerie.

You know, like a Tupperware party.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, so, anyway, it's the day after tomorrow, and I'd really like it if you

could come.

I don't know. I'm really jammed on Mondays.

Oh, please.

I really need a favor involving models.

Steph, you know I can't let you have free talent.

Models gotta eat, too.

Well, they don't actually consume the food, but I can work without getting

Now, actually, we already have all of our girls.

Cody's been banging every aspiring model in town, saying he's going to introduce

them to Lacey.

And he's pretty sure he can get five, maybe even six girls.

Oh, dear.

Give it to the managers.

Okay, so all I need you to do...

is show up and glad hand a few of them. You know, just tell them you're looking

for new talent.

Whatever.

Nobody have to mean it, though.

All right, I'll do it.

Thank you.

Don't thank me till it's over.

You do work really hard.

Thank you.

Were you able to invite anyone to the party?

Yeah, I think four are coming. Two of them fashion critics.

You're the best.

Samson, you're the best feeling.

Just because I share half my sandwich with you doesn't mean I'm going to share

her with you.

I think we better move to the bedroom.

Bye.

Line him up, buddy.

What's going on?

Well, I thought I'd invite all the potential models here and give them the

pitch. Which potential models? Be specific.

Joanne, Cindy, Cheryl, Maddie, Vanessa, Francine. Wait, wait, wait.

Are you nuts?

Why? They're all hot.

Didn't you see John Tucker must die?

Dude, you slept with Joanne and Cindy.

Oh, you're right.

And I would have slept with Francine, too, but Vanessa cock -blocked me.

And... I slept with Cheryl, and now I'm dating Maddie. What if they start

talking and figure out what they have in common?

Oh, fuck.

We're dead men walking.

Yeah. So, what did Cody tell you? That he'd introduce you to Lacey?

Yeah. Well, I mean, it wasn't exactly a precondition of it.

Well, Russ told me the same thing.

And now they want us friends to run in our underwear for some party.

Which is probably going to be a bunch of their horny friends.

That doesn't sound like the Russ I know.

It's Russ.

You can suck it.

Cody,

bite me Casanova.

Oh, no.

Don't look at me. I didn't sleep with either of them.

I just slept with their friend Vanessa.

You rang?

Hey, Vanessa.

Hey, girls.

You guys can all come. That's great.

Everybody gave you some modeling?

Modeling? More like getting half naked for a pack of rowdy frat rats at some

dumb party.

Dumb party?

Seems like a scam. We found out they've been sleeping with everyone here.

Almost everybody.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You guys have it all wrong.

I'll have you know that this is an event, okay? We're modeling Lacey's

her best high -end stuff from last year.

There's going to be fashion critics there to cover the show and a top

shop is sending one of their biggest agents.

No shit.

Shit you not.

This blows.

Lacey was really counting on me to bring the girls.

So, why didn't you tell me you had so many great girlfriends?

Huh?

We're really excited about doing this show together.

Instant BFF.

I'll never understand women.

Okay, ladies.

Drinks are on the house.

You owe me.

Hey,

I never asked.

You girls even know how to model?

Well, I don't know where you are Wednesday nights at nine, but I'm at

watching Project Runway.

I'm down.

Me too.

Every girl dreams of being a supermodel. Just like how guys dream of being a

Major League Baseball player.

Take

it,

girl.

How have you been?

Good.

I've thought about you a lot.

Are you part female tomorrow?

Tomorrow? Yeah.

I didn't know it was tomorrow. I have a friend's wedding to go to.

Oh, that's too bad.

I want to make it up some other time.

What's wrong with right now?

Lock the door.

I know, it's your turn to be on top.

No, it's not that.

I'm just a little wound up at that lingerie party tomorrow.

You serious?

It's normal to have jitters.

Don't you get nervous when you get called to a fire?

Yeah, but it's kind of a life or death thing.

Well, my career may not be a life or death thing, but it's important to me

lot of my customers.

Hey, I ain't knocking it.

This stuff really gets me going.

It's not about getting guys going, either.

It's about making women feel good about themselves.

Oh, God.

You're going to get all Oprah on me? Forget about it.

Well, I'm sorry if my career and my intentions and everything about me is

and insubstantial.

How did we get so far off track? All I did was kiss you.

I just don't know how that's making you happy.

You're stressed about money?

You're too nervous about your little lingerie party to enjoy the time we have

together.

What now?

Is it possible to have this conversation without the condescension?

Everything is my little this and my Oprah that.

How about some respect?

You can do whatever you want.

I just don't know why I have to keep pretending that you're creating world

peace.

I'd like to think we could have a normal life one day.

And what is normal?

Normal is getting married and having kids.

Being there for your husband and kids.

Well, getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you?

I just don't want to play second fiddle to a bunch of underwear.

That's all.

Rick, this is my vocation, not some hobby.

Yeah, well, neither am I.

You let me know when you're ready to take us seriously as you do your

business.

Rick, I can't believe you're... acting

like this.

One for the MC.

Stop it. Those are for the guest.

I need something for my nerves. I have performance anxiety.

Oh. Well, then you should get some Xanax online, like a normal person.

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

The big black bug bit the little bitty baby. The big black bug bit the little

bitty baby. The big black bug bit the little bitty baby. Jeffrey!

Enough. You're driving me insane. Would you get out of here?

Oh, sweetie, if you want to be a model, you better get used to showing off your

tits and ass. Capisce?

Make yourself useful.

By that I don't mean harassing my mom.

Help him get dressed.

I'm going to check on the food.

No, no, no, no, no.

Don't you know how to do this properly?

Here, let me show you how a professional puts on a bra.

And then you just let those babies fall right in the cup.

Gravity will do the rest.

That's great.

How's it

going? Great.

You went all out with this thing.

Real fancy.

Gotta make things festive, you know? Get people in the buying mood.

What are these things, anyway?

Pate.

Ugh, dude, my gas.

Thanks for helping out. I know you're not exactly in your elements.

Hey, wherever there are hotties running around in their underwear, I'm in my

element.

Where's Rick?

He sort of broke up.

He thinks I'm wasting my time with this lingerie thing.

Ouch.

Better now than later, right?

I'm so nervous.

Blake looks great.

I can't wait to check out the swag.

You are going to be buried in lingerie from this day forward.

Thanks for bringing some new people.

I'm going to go check on the models.

See you.

There's Joanne. She's the one with the light brown hair and the really cute

face. And there's Vanessa. She's got the black hair and she's really voluptuous.

And she's gay.

Or bisexual.

Whatever.

I don't give a shit about their personal lives, as long as they look good and

can walk.

The rest is immaterial.

Harsh.

Welcome to the wonderful world of nether fashion.

Physical.

You know what I'm talking about.

The inimitable, the fabulous Lacey Summers.

How'd we do?

We did well.

Really well.

What did Doug say about the girls?

I think he was impressed.

Although it's so hard to tell with them.

He's such a dick sometimes.

I'm sure they're glad just to have an entree into an agency.

Okay, let's talk about something really important.

How did I do?

Well, let's just say I don't think Ryan Seacrest is too worried.

I mean, you were fabulous.

I agree.

You were hilarious and brilliant.

Aw, shucks.

Tweren't nothing.

All right, guys.

We better start cleaning this up.

I wouldn't dream of letting you guys clean up.

Not after all you guys did.

Oh, shut up.

Hey, Stephanie.

Hey, Cody.

You have a guitar.

Do you have a minute?

Sure.

You want to go celebrate?

I got nowhere to go, and I'm in no hurry to get there.

How was it?

It was fun.

Word of mouth is going to be great.

How'd she make it up financially?

It'll probably carry her for a couple of weeks, nothing more.

Can I get you anything?

No, thanks.

What did you want to talk to me about?

I want to help.

But I know if you won't let me.

That's nice, but... Holy shit.

Where'd you get this much money?

It was a photojournalism award.

I couldn't make my mind up with what to do with it, so it's out of my account

earning interest.

You know Lacey will never accept this.

That's why you're not going to tell her it came from me.

Are you crazy?

No. The money came to me for doing something I believed in.

I can't think of a better use for it than helping Lacey realize her dream.

One thing she's worked so hard for.

So you want to come in?

Listen, I was really happy to help out today, but I've been thinking.

Oh.

It's not like I have any right to ask you about... I know what you're going to

say. You do?

You're wondering about Cheryl.

Like I said, I have no right... Cheryl's nice, but I'm looking for something

else.

Someone special.

And?

You're it.

Pretty. Thanks.

I wrote it.

Someone.

Really?

Who? I wrote it for you, dummy.

Oh.

I know we said no strength attached or anything, but sometimes.

Sometimes you push a person away because deep down you really want to be with

them, and it scares you.

Do you think you'll ever love a scaredy cat?

I think I already do.

Tell me.

I'm surprised you don't have plans tonight.

Well, I let everybody think that I'm this dating fiend, but the truth is I'm

sort of a homebody.

Things you learn at quitting time.

So have you always been a homebody, or are you in self -protection mode?

A bit of both.

I'm a combination starry -eyed Cinderella meets terrified little

Wanting my prince to come, but...

I'm so scared of disappointment, I end up hiding under the bed at the knock of

door.

So, what really happened between you and Rick?

Rick wants me to be barefoot and pregnant, not launching myself in the

business. But that's ridiculous. You have this incredible talent.

Well, good riddance then.

Leaves you free for Jason.

I always thought you two were meant for each other.

Jason is such a player.

Truth is, I can't be with him anymore.

Probably because I'm in love with him.

It really hurts to think of him with all those other women.

Well, let's toast to all those other people.

The ones who are happy now.

Who found love on the job, or who are about to get a modeling contract, or

whatever.

To the happy ones.

May we soon join their ranks.