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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,460 --> 00:00:08,080 I'll be free when you want me. I'll be ready. 2 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:12,560 I'll be free when you want me. I'll be ready. 3 00:00:17,740 --> 00:00:19,620 You know I like you. 4 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:33,100 I'll be free when you want me. I'll be ready. 5 00:00:34,150 --> 00:00:37,230 I'll be free when you want me. I'll be free. 6 00:00:38,270 --> 00:00:40,190 You know I'm right for you. 7 00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:41,950 I'll be free. 8 00:00:45,010 --> 00:00:47,550 I'll be free. 9 00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:51,250 Why did I 10 00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:59,270 spell 11 00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:00,270 my computer? 12 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:04,140 Why would you use your own? 13 00:01:04,599 --> 00:01:06,120 Because I don't have Wi -Fi in my room. 14 00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:09,840 I want to buy wireless, but you told me to fuck off or pay for it myself because 15 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:11,120 you're already stealing the signal from upstairs. 16 00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:14,580 Not my fault you wanted a loft that doesn't get a signal. 17 00:01:15,460 --> 00:01:16,460 You're a jerk, man. 18 00:01:17,340 --> 00:01:18,340 Dickface. 19 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,580 Can't believe you never thought about doing this. 20 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,000 I've never even heard of online one -nighters .com. 21 00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:28,480 Seems a little weird to me. 22 00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:31,460 Not too weird for Stephanie, apparently. 23 00:01:32,620 --> 00:01:34,240 You're just mad that she's moved on. 24 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,120 She hasn't moved on. 25 00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:38,100 She's just trying to make me jealous. 26 00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:40,720 It's so not working. 27 00:01:42,660 --> 00:01:44,400 Why? Did she say something? 28 00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:46,480 Maybe. Well, what? 29 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:49,800 I hate you. 30 00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:55,980 Alright, I posted my ad under miscellaneous encounters. You post your 31 00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:58,920 I don't know, man. 32 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,240 Maybe I'll try calling Maddie again. 33 00:02:04,590 --> 00:02:05,670 Why? Okay, okay. 34 00:02:06,130 --> 00:02:07,370 So what am I supposed to write? 35 00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:11,930 I don't know what to say. 36 00:02:13,630 --> 00:02:14,630 Write something. 37 00:02:17,630 --> 00:02:19,270 I can't think of anything, man. I'm blocked. 38 00:02:22,730 --> 00:02:23,730 Hey, what did you write? 39 00:02:25,210 --> 00:02:26,210 Fuck rush. 40 00:02:26,610 --> 00:02:27,710 Why are you yelling? 41 00:02:28,530 --> 00:02:29,530 Sorry, man. 42 00:02:29,710 --> 00:02:32,890 You're just like a four -year -old. You know that? You're just like a four -year 43 00:02:32,890 --> 00:02:33,890 -old. I said I'm sorry. 44 00:02:35,950 --> 00:02:36,950 Be yourself. 45 00:02:37,890 --> 00:02:40,010 Alright, whatever you think a girl will respond to. 46 00:02:41,430 --> 00:02:42,590 Hurry the fuck up. 47 00:02:43,390 --> 00:02:44,510 Get out of my room. 48 00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:50,310 Pass your bedtime, you fucking toddler. 49 00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,450 I didn't even get to audition. 50 00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:01,830 Captain and director said I looked nothing like my headshot. 51 00:03:02,370 --> 00:03:03,490 Then she told me to leave. 52 00:03:03,790 --> 00:03:06,310 Really? Yeah, so she told me to go home. 53 00:03:07,070 --> 00:03:09,770 Yeah, you definitely could use some new headshots. 54 00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:14,330 Why don't you try on that blue blouse? It makes you look kind of frumpy. 55 00:03:14,650 --> 00:03:17,010 And believe me, you definitely don't look frumpy. 56 00:03:17,690 --> 00:03:18,990 You have to get what you pay for. 57 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:35,960 Josie's drummer took him for free, so I couldn't just... Josie was your lover in 58 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:36,960 Seattle? Is. 59 00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,300 Was. I don't know. 60 00:03:39,980 --> 00:03:41,160 Still figuring it out? 61 00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:42,940 Still looking for the right girl. 62 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:44,600 Or guy. 63 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,360 That's right. 64 00:03:48,540 --> 00:03:49,840 You like guys, too. 65 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:52,960 If they're worthy. 66 00:03:54,260 --> 00:03:55,840 And how do you know when a guy's worthy? 67 00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:57,180 I just know. 68 00:03:58,800 --> 00:03:59,739 All right. 69 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:00,740 Sit up straight. 70 00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:02,350 Chin up. 71 00:04:03,050 --> 00:04:05,170 Bite down, but keep your lips partially open. 72 00:04:12,530 --> 00:04:16,269 I love Josie, but I felt so suffocated. 73 00:04:17,329 --> 00:04:18,430 Doesn't have to be that way. 74 00:04:18,829 --> 00:04:21,089 Easy for you to say, Mr. Open Relationship. 75 00:04:24,910 --> 00:04:25,910 Perfect. 76 00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:29,650 I don't think I'd be able to be with someone special knowing that they were 77 00:04:29,650 --> 00:04:30,650 sleeping with someone else. 78 00:04:31,690 --> 00:04:32,690 I don't blame her, though. 79 00:04:33,030 --> 00:04:34,090 Rick is pretty hot. 80 00:04:34,990 --> 00:04:39,230 I knew she went camping with him, but is she sleeping with Rick now? 81 00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:40,830 Yeah. 82 00:04:41,270 --> 00:04:43,350 I'm sorry. I thought you already knew. 83 00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:45,150 No. 84 00:04:45,490 --> 00:04:46,490 I didn't. 85 00:04:47,270 --> 00:04:49,350 But it doesn't surprise me. 86 00:04:51,110 --> 00:04:52,110 Lacey's special. 87 00:04:52,390 --> 00:04:53,630 I don't want to hold her back. 88 00:04:56,350 --> 00:04:57,970 She can sleep with anyone she wants. 89 00:04:58,870 --> 00:04:59,870 And you? 90 00:05:00,410 --> 00:05:01,410 Same deal. 91 00:05:03,150 --> 00:05:07,570 I can too You think I'm worthy? 92 00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:09,890 Let's find out 93 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:14,840 Still think I'm worthy? 94 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:27,460 Make sure you get those measurements perfect. 95 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:31,800 Oh, please, honey. I'm so tall on with inches and feet. I don't even need a 96 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:32,799 measuring tape. 97 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:33,800 Gray or blue? 98 00:09:34,580 --> 00:09:39,360 Oh. Oh, my God. Somebody call the Bronx Zoo and tell them that I found their 99 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,360 missing rhino. 100 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:41,480 Whatever, Jeffrey. 101 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,080 You've measured the last five male models. 102 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:48,280 Fair's fair. I'm going to finish this one, and you run along and go and pack 103 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,920 those boxes of fabric that you ordered. 104 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:54,980 Do you realize that I'm wearing Roberto's premium denim? 105 00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:59,460 If there's even one more hole than Roberto planned there to be, you'll be 106 00:09:59,460 --> 00:10:01,840 walking the streets of the meatpacking district to pay for them. 107 00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:03,540 Gray or blue? 108 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,300 Not my fault that you bought jeans two sizes too small. 109 00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:10,960 All this pressure from the spring collection is making you retain water. 110 00:10:12,439 --> 00:10:13,500 Relax, you look fine. 111 00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:17,840 Anyway, I'll have you know, I never work the meatpacking district. 112 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,340 I am strictly a Times Square gal. 113 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,120 Right, sugar? 114 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:25,320 Gray or blue? 115 00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:28,400 Oh, for Christ's sakes, gray. You know it's the new black. 116 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,660 Just because you gained a little weight doesn't give you the right to snap at 117 00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:32,660 me, sister. 118 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:33,980 I'm taking a smoke break. 119 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:35,360 You don't smoke. 120 00:10:35,740 --> 00:10:36,740 So what? 121 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,820 There's too much estrogen in here for even the view to handle. 122 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:43,990 Do it in. 123 00:11:14,410 --> 00:11:15,410 Are you the handyman? 124 00:11:15,850 --> 00:11:21,170 Why, yes, ma 'am. I heard it's an extra hard job, so I made sure to bring my 125 00:11:21,170 --> 00:11:22,690 biggest tools. 126 00:11:23,490 --> 00:11:25,930 Well, yeah, I did say you were well -equipped. 127 00:11:26,290 --> 00:11:27,290 Follow me. 128 00:11:34,350 --> 00:11:36,130 Let me show you what needs some attention. 129 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,850 I've got this plumbing problem. 130 00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:43,510 The water turns on, but I can't seem to make it hot. 131 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,160 I can't believe this. 132 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,540 What's that? 133 00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:50,620 Can't believe you're having this problem. 134 00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:55,920 Terrible. But, uh, plumbing is my specialty. 135 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,600 So, you know how to make it hot, then? 136 00:12:00,060 --> 00:12:01,060 Oh, yeah. 137 00:12:03,660 --> 00:12:05,760 Oops, you dropped your tool belt. 138 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:09,480 Thank you, God. 139 00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:04,020 Fuck me. 140 00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:24,000 On the kitchen table. 141 00:14:43,180 --> 00:14:44,180 Fuck you. 142 00:14:48,740 --> 00:14:49,180 Fuck 143 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:56,860 me 144 00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:57,860 on the counter. 145 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:53,919 That was good. 146 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:54,920 It's amazing. 147 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,040 It's hot. 148 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,100 Nailed it! 149 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:13,320 Hammered it home! 150 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,520 What? Yeah! 151 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,100 Woo! 152 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:17,500 Gripped it. 153 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:18,560 Tightened it. 154 00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:19,499 Plunged it. 155 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,340 Put my snake in the drain. 156 00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:24,360 Who? Are you talking about your internet date? 157 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:26,600 OnlineOneNighters .com. 158 00:16:26,980 --> 00:16:28,180 It was amazing. 159 00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:30,660 She was amazing. 160 00:16:30,980 --> 00:16:37,240 Really? Yeah. I propose a toast to a new era and a new slogan for us. 161 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:40,040 Miscellaneous Encounters. 162 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,360 Yeah, I'm not quite encountering yet. 163 00:16:44,780 --> 00:16:46,840 I haven't received one response to my ad. 164 00:16:47,060 --> 00:16:48,060 Not one? 165 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,560 Not one. Damn. 166 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,180 What'd your ad say? 167 00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:53,310 Exactly what you told me to write. 168 00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:55,170 What did I tell you to write? 169 00:16:55,630 --> 00:17:00,150 Just be yourself and write whatever a girl would respond to. 170 00:17:00,370 --> 00:17:01,410 Are you kidding me? 171 00:17:01,870 --> 00:17:03,350 I was joking. 172 00:17:03,670 --> 00:17:06,050 I was shit -faced, you dumbass. 173 00:17:07,150 --> 00:17:12,050 Yeah, she wrote that you like comic book conventions, reading anime and baseball 174 00:17:12,050 --> 00:17:13,050 games. 175 00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:18,130 So what? I do like those things. And you sign it, just looking for love. 176 00:17:19,050 --> 00:17:21,109 What? I thought women liked romance. 177 00:17:21,819 --> 00:17:25,980 Not the ones on online one -nighters .com, you idiot. Shut up, dick. 178 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,440 Women want fantasy. 179 00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:31,180 Just read the one that I wrote. 180 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:38,140 Single, self -employed male who loves to role -play as a daytime handyman in 181 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:42,980 order to fulfill the needs of like -minded, beautiful women. Wow, bullshit. 182 00:17:44,540 --> 00:17:48,320 Women who want one -night stands don't want to know anything real about you. 183 00:17:49,260 --> 00:17:52,480 Like how Stephanie didn't want to know anything about you after your one night 184 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:53,480 stand? 185 00:17:54,980 --> 00:17:56,020 Low blow, my friend. 186 00:17:57,180 --> 00:17:58,640 But I'm still going to help you out. 187 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,020 Because you're a toddler in the ways of the world. 188 00:18:01,340 --> 00:18:02,920 Take one of my responses. 189 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,160 Tell her to meet you at Dukin's. 190 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:06,960 Don't blow it. 191 00:18:07,980 --> 00:18:10,320 Oh, and tell her to wear a red t -shirt. 192 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,520 So you can assess her hotness from across the room. 193 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:17,960 Okay. 194 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,070 What the hell is this? 195 00:18:41,470 --> 00:18:42,590 This is a nightmare. 196 00:18:44,670 --> 00:18:45,670 Oh, hey. 197 00:18:46,550 --> 00:18:47,550 That's where you're going. 198 00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:49,370 It hurt someone with a gun. 199 00:18:50,450 --> 00:18:51,450 What did you say? 200 00:18:51,790 --> 00:18:55,850 Uh, nothing. Just be careful, will you? That's not what you said, asshole. 201 00:18:56,350 --> 00:19:00,430 How would you like the entire Midtown Women's Firefighter softball team to 202 00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:01,430 your ass? 203 00:19:01,670 --> 00:19:02,930 I hate softball. 204 00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:07,250 Oh, sorry. 205 00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:09,210 No, my apologies. 206 00:19:09,990 --> 00:19:12,190 Is that a red shirt underneath your jacket? 207 00:19:12,990 --> 00:19:14,350 Uh, depends. 208 00:19:14,830 --> 00:19:15,830 On what? 209 00:19:16,130 --> 00:19:17,570 Do you play softball? 210 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,030 I hate softball. 211 00:19:20,570 --> 00:19:21,570 Alright. 212 00:19:39,260 --> 00:19:41,900 Semper Fidelis Fidelibus Amoribus. 213 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,580 Always faithful to you, my love. 214 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:47,300 Anyone I know? 215 00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:50,660 Nope. I just like the way it sounds. 216 00:19:52,580 --> 00:19:53,580 Beautiful. 217 00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:56,500 My father made me take Latin in high school. 218 00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:58,180 The one thing he gave me. 219 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,740 We haven't talked since you've been back. 220 00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:03,540 How'd the shoot with Jason go? 221 00:20:03,860 --> 00:20:04,900 It's your second one, right? 222 00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:07,700 It was alright. 223 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:09,720 It's all right. 224 00:20:10,820 --> 00:20:12,520 He said it went extremely well. 225 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:13,900 He never says that. 226 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:15,440 Really? 227 00:20:16,860 --> 00:20:17,860 Say anything else? 228 00:20:18,660 --> 00:20:22,560 That your head shots were fabulous, that you're a natural in front of the 229 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,180 camera, and that you should model for us some more. 230 00:20:26,820 --> 00:20:27,820 Are you interested? 231 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:30,600 In modeling for me? 232 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:35,480 Um... Maybe. 233 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:38,120 Mind if I think about it? 234 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:39,600 No pressure. 235 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:41,680 Is there anything you want to talk about? 236 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,840 No, I'm actually pretty beat. 237 00:20:46,220 --> 00:20:48,420 But, um, thanks for the nightcap. 238 00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:51,760 Night. Night. 239 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,920 Always faithful to you, Milla. 240 00:21:10,860 --> 00:21:11,860 Hey, dude. 241 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,340 Boom, bam, pow, shot the locker. 242 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:16,640 Boom, bang. 243 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,320 Looks like the red team made it home safely. 244 00:21:20,620 --> 00:21:22,220 Yes, we did thank you very much. 245 00:21:22,780 --> 00:21:26,180 Cody, me, Nina, and Nina, this is Cody. 246 00:21:26,540 --> 00:21:28,360 But your dad said your name was Cody. 247 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:33,660 Yeah, I mean, we're both Cody. Both named Cody? 248 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:35,040 Yeah. 249 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,580 Right. But I'm not surprised. 250 00:21:39,670 --> 00:21:41,110 Wouldn't use my real name online either. 251 00:21:42,110 --> 00:21:43,810 You've had misleading encounters before? 252 00:21:44,250 --> 00:21:45,250 No way. 253 00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:48,170 I just want to see what kind of guy would write a cheesy porno line like 254 00:21:48,170 --> 00:21:49,170 and expect it to work. 255 00:21:50,110 --> 00:21:51,230 It did work. 256 00:21:52,030 --> 00:21:53,030 Let me guess. 257 00:21:53,330 --> 00:21:56,510 You're the real Cody, and you're the nice best friend who needs help getting 258 00:21:56,510 --> 00:21:57,510 laid. 259 00:21:57,550 --> 00:21:59,150 Yep, that would be me, Russ. 260 00:21:59,870 --> 00:22:01,930 Well, Russ, here we are. 261 00:22:02,310 --> 00:22:03,730 How about you show me the way to your bedroom? 262 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:17,700 And skip the tool belt. 263 00:22:27,860 --> 00:22:29,380 I thought they had a TV. 264 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:30,800 Why'd you come home with me? 265 00:22:31,140 --> 00:22:32,140 Because you're cute. 266 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:35,160 Well, shut up. 267 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:38,280 Take off your shirt. 268 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,200 Like that? Take it off. 269 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:56,720 Make your shoes have to go. 270 00:23:02,140 --> 00:23:03,940 These have to go. 271 00:23:26,350 --> 00:23:27,350 Hop on. 272 00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:08,500 No. 273 00:25:17,450 --> 00:25:18,450 Thank you. 274 00:26:46,060 --> 00:26:47,540 Then do I have something to show you? 275 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:50,320 Come here. 276 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:05,480 How do you like that? 277 00:27:40,450 --> 00:27:41,550 Keep hugging. 278 00:27:46,270 --> 00:27:47,590 Oh, yeah. 279 00:27:49,670 --> 00:27:50,850 Oh, I can't. 280 00:27:51,110 --> 00:27:52,110 Oh, wait. 281 00:27:52,550 --> 00:27:54,010 Okay, now. 282 00:28:13,139 --> 00:28:15,020 Best blind date ever. 283 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:17,840 All right. 284 00:28:23,900 --> 00:28:26,880 OnlineOneNighter .com. It was amazing. 18384