Original subtitles

Kia ora, beautiful people. It's me, the nomadic native, back in the motherland

of Aotearoa.

My family and I have lived in London for 12 years, but now we're back.

Fun fact, I spent the first few years of my life here with my nan.

She passed four years ago, but we couldn't come back due to lockdown.

Hashtag round of Kiwis.

RIP, nan.

Love you.

Look at this, whānau. Home, sweet home.

This is my mum, Kitty Meyer.

She's a lawyer.

She's always busy.

We had to come back to Aotearoa because mum misses home, but really it's because

of her work or something like that. Media, out of the way, please.

Oh, God, aggressive.

This is my dad, Matthew.

Everyone calls him Matt. He's a graphic designer.

Can you go and help your brother, please?

And this is my brother, Nate. Did you know that the wombat is the only animal

the world whose poo is cube -shaped?

Oh, my God. He talks so much.

Anyways, here we are. The papa kina.

Amelia.

Off that phone, please.

But I just have to... Now.

Thank you, miss.

What is that?

Old people's phone.

Old people's phone.

Well, more like what they use before they use normal phones.

Kia ora, Kitty speaking.

Oh, hey, cuz. Just walked through the door.

Yeah, yeah, it's great to be home, thanks.

Yeah, it'll take a while to adjust.

Jet lag and all.

The kids, they're overwhelmed, so we might hold off for a bit.

Mum? Mum?

Dad, did you get the Wi -Fi sorted before we left?

Mum, can I go outside?

What? The Wi -Fi.

Ask your mother.

Mum, Wi -Fi? Mum, thank you. Oi, oi!

Everyone, shush!

Sorry, cuz.

A bit hectic over here.

Oh, it sounds great, but honestly, I don't think I'm going to make it

I'm handing you over to Matt, okay?

Wi -Fi name and

password. Go and connect all our devices, including the television and

brother's gadgets.

Don't just do your own and then get sucked into editing your vlogs, okay?

All right.

You, take that. Hey, and don't go wandering off.

Love you.

Say it back.

Love you.

You speaking with Kitty?

No bother, we're just settling in.

Yes, preparation in key.

No, no sleep on that plane.

Just a minute, I'll check.

She didn't. Oh, bloody heck.

Oh, where?

What the bloomin' hell?

Sorry to startle you.

Who startle, you reckon?

You didn't startle me. You snuck up on me. There's a difference.

Taihua?

Who are you, boy?

What's your name?

How do you do? My name's Nate.

What's your name?

Put that hand away. Come and help me have a look.

Nate's talking to a random lady in the garden.

Bag's not saving her.

It's probably a local.

Go tell him to leave her alone.

Um, not my job.

Also, I have to connect everything up.

Remember? Amelia!

Okay,

this is the last time I'm going to tell you this.

You will get it in due course. Do I make myself clear?

Hello?

Hello?

So where are you from, mate? Well, we just arrived from London, but originally

we are from here. More specifically, that house.

That house?

Wait.

Pardon me?

Who is your mum boy?

Oh, my mum. My mum is Kitty.

Oh, Kitty girl's finally come home, eh?

Oh,

and she's had a baby boy.

How come I haven't met you before?

It's most probably because I've never been here before. It's my first time

My sister's been here, though.

Matt?

Can you check on Nate?

Nate,

he's outside.

She lives here with Nanny Summer so that my mum could finish her studies to

become a lawyer.

My mum's a lawyer. She gets people to sign things and they do stuff with

Anyway, I digress.

Then she got a job in London.

Then she did more study in London. So they stayed, and along I came. But not

Nanny Summer. She stayed here.

She's dead now.

You talk a lot.

I get told that a lot. I like it.

Nobody really talks to me much anymore, so it is nice to have someone to listen

to other than myself.

You know that Nanny Summer you talk about?

Her real name was Raumati.

Has your mum taken you to visit her yet?

Visit her? How?

She's dead.

Oh, well, thank you for that information, neighbour. Just because

dead does not mean you cannot go and say hello.

Should have been the first thing you did before you came to the whare. Not that

I am judging your mum. I am not that kind of person.

I'm just saying it would have been nice.

Especially for you.

I know for a fact...

That your nanny, Raumati, would have loved to finally meet her grandmokopuna,

Nate.

Are you hungry?

I forgot.

My mum gave me this apple.

You don't want that yuck apple?

If you eat that yuck apple, you will whakanoa yourself and I will disappear.

Whakanoa what?

Whakanoa. Throw it away.

Besides, your whanau are preparing a hakari. It'd be rude not to go.

Haramai, come on.

What's a hakari?

Oh, well, a hakari, Nate, is like a munch.

What's a munch?

A lunch munch.

Lunch munch?

Aye, a feed.

What's a feed?

Lime green.

Ooh.

I like forest green.

I'm scared.

Well, Nate, there is nothing to be scared of, okay?

Once we get to this whare, we will find your Uncle Bull. He will call your mum

and let her know where you are, okay?

Trust me.

How do I know I can trust you?

Well, because, Nate, I...

I am your auntie Huia.

I am related to your kuia. She is my older sister, and that makes us whānau.

So as long as I have got my eye on you, no one is going to hurt you, and you

will always be safe.

You hear me?

Ka pai.

So, what were you searching for in my garden?

Oh,

my huia.

Foo air? What's a foo air?

Come on, Nate. Keep up.

Where's Nate?

I don't know. Probably outside still talking to that random.

No, no, I just looked.

Nate!

Nate, are you inside, Bob?

Nathaniel!

Can you hear a boy?

No!

I looked everywhere. He's not here. I checked out the back, down the driveway.

Well, he's got more legs, so he can live on the farm.

OK, Matty, jump in the truck.

Head to the bridge. If he's followed the creek, he'll end up there.

Media, you stay here, OK? Use your cell phone to call people to see if anyone

else has spotted him.

There's a lift next to the phone.

Start at the top and work your way through it and tell them your nanny's

moko. And leave that landline free in case someone has found him and they're

trying to call us here.

Wait, what are you going to do? Well, if he hasn't gone down the creek to the

bridge, then he's gone over the hill. I'm going to try and cut him off.

When did Mum turn into G .I. Jane?

When she get there fast.

Don't just stand there. Cut.

Oh, cool.

Nate, see that hard case looking fellow over there in the red vest?

That is your Uncle Bull.

Now remember, don't tell anyone that you talked to me or you followed me here,

okay? They will lose the bloody plot.

Don't tell anyone about you because they will lose the plot.

Affirmative. Jeez, you use some big words for someone so small. You know

Anyway, you go over there and you tell them this.

Well, I tell you, if we let these floodgate and co -pricks get their way,

they're going to come in here, and the way of life, as we know, is going to

change, unless us, or we as a community, do something.

Holy hecka! What in the bloody hell, boy?

Greetings, Uncle Bull. Sorry to startle you.

Oh, you didn't startle me, boy. You just snuck up on me. See, that's the

difference. Yes, my apologies.

I meant to ask you if you could call my mum and let her know where I am.

I can smell the food you've been cooking, and according to the Kuma

cooking is the...

Yeah, in this godforsaken town.

Well, sure, that's not a lie. Wait, wait, wait. Who's boy again, you boy?

Whose boy am I?

Aye, boy, who's your mama?

Oh, my mum. Yes, my mum's name is Kitty. We live just over that hill.

Is that you, little man?

It is to you.

Far out. How do you know, boy?

Seven, eight, 84? I'm your uncle.

Man, I only seen baby pictures of you on that crack book.

Jeez, how'd you get here, boy? It's a decent hike all the way from the

homestead. Must have a good nose on you, eh? Just like your uncle.

Just about anything. Got power nostrils over here.

Thank you for your hospitality.

If I could also remind you to call my mum and let her know where I am.

Mum?

Let's try your dad first, eh? If your mum's anything like she used to be,

be losing the plot right now.

What is losing the plot? Oh, cray -cray out the gate, boy, all of the above.

Hey, everybody, this is my nephew, Nate. Nate Dogg, make him feel at home, eh?

Hey, bubba girl.

Remember those baby pictures I was showing you on crack book?

This is him now.

Hey, who's, who's, who's? Take your hoo off.

Walk right away here from the homestead.

Yes, he's safe.

I'm just about to head over there now to pick him up.

Is your mum back yet?

No, not yet.

OK. Get the bike, will you?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Mum's cousin is here.

Heard Nate was missing and came over to help.

Oh. What's going on?

Huh?

Dad?

You're breaking up.

Dad?

Dad found Nate.

Oh, thank God.

I hope you don't mind being in my vlog.

Sorry, what was your name again?

Catboy. I don't even know what a blog is.

Johnboy. Yeah.

Good Johnboy, eh?

Yeah.

Glad they found your little brother.

Oh.

Better carry it in, eh?

Do you want a cup of tea or something?

Okay, rude.

Boring.

Anyways, as I was saying, Dad found Nate. Thank God.

He's on his way to Uncle Paul's house now.

Oh,

you need a ride anywhere?

No. All right then.

Did he?

Oh, Kia ora.

When I got to the top of the Vukia, I saw you all funny, but it was dark and I

tripped and rolled all the way down and landed in what I hope is my bit of the

most probably cow shit.

Well, I honestly thought you was a cowboy.

Oh, I honestly can't believe you made it all the way here.

Oh, this is him.

Kids just find their wee.

Yeah.

Babe, look at the time.

We need to get this little man home, back to Emilia.

Yeah, I'll be here.

Hey, hey, take this. Oh, no, Carl. Really?

Yes. Bye -bye. Oh, thank you.

Nummy.

Hey, and if you fellas have any free time to help us figure out this resource

and concept from Hackney, I would really help us out, eh?

Yeah, yeah.

I'll see what I can do. Thank you, guys.

Hey, little man.

Hey, little man.

Home time, boy.

Put your jacket on, eh?

Thanks for ringing my parents.

Teo's right. Your cooking is the best in this town.

I told you that, Tika.

Huh?

I'll talk to you on a little nettle.

Bye.

What did Boyd just say to you?

That my mum had told him I had the best cooking in town.

There it is.

Unless he can walk with care, he probably just got his wires crossed.

Eat them up.

The lone wanderer has finally returned, eh? As a matter of fact, my adventure

was quite interesting.

And formative.

And it won't happen again, because if you go wandering off by yourself again,

am gonna what?

Ring my bloody neck.

Kuiapu. Glad we sorted that one out.

Why aren't you eating?

Fire up, no thanks.

Huh?

Mum said it was your favourite.

No, I like my leftovers with bread, tomato and heaps of salt.

Oh, God.

Oh, yeah, Mum, your cousin came over yesterday.

Oh, which one?

Um, John Boy.

Is that your idea of a practical joke, Amelia?

What? That is not funny.

Go to your room.

But I was...

I'm telling you the truth. Enough, Emilia.

No. Now.

What? Wait. And leave that bloody phone on the table.

I believe, Emilia.

Finish your parakwehi, please, son. I need some fresh air.

And you're sure this is going to help my father?

I'm sure.

Okay.

Are you three goats?

No.

Kehua. We prefer the term Kehua, Nate.

Oh, okay.

Hey, Te Whanau, please keep your phone tracking on so I know where you all are.

Nate, are you sure you know where you're going? Of course. I have, like, a

hidden GPS.

Plus, Uncle Paul should be here soon. He said he'd meet me halfway.

You're a pot.

Wait, where's your sister?

Uh, she had to go figure something out.

What? I just need you to clear my name with my parents, so even a call or a

text. Yeah, I don't think I can do that yet.

Why can't you help me?

Because... I'm a cahua.

A what?

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