All language subtitles for 1 1 The.Real.Housewives.of.Miami.S07E04.Boogers.and.Birkins.480p

So make sure your ooh is not here.

Good. How are you feeling today?

Sorry. I'm not feeling so great.

This is the time to use your breath to
let go of the emotions.

All right?

Whatever's going on.

When you sing a note, you have to let go
of it. If you hold on to it, it will

strangle you.

Singing is just controlled screaming.
That's all it is.

The performance is over. This is not an
opera show.

I'm trying to become an opera singer.

Recently, someone threw it in my face,
and the water spilled all over the

She aggressed me, assaulted me for no
reason.

I disbanded Martina and my family.

Like, why would she make those comments?

She rewrote an entire script on what
happened on the cruise.

I am not going to be on trial for the
bullshit.

I had to stop those lies coming at me,
and I had to stop those words. I will

never forget what she did.

I feel like Julia kind of went to the
dark side.

Scare me.

I'm scared. That's excellent. That's
very good.

I think today was therapy and music.

I may be a human doll, but I'm no one's
toy.

It's hard to get on my bad side because
I don't have one.

I'm a fierce fighter and an even
stronger survivor.

My chicken coop is full and now so is my
house.

I may not be prompt.

But I'm worth the wait.

I don't just sell luxury. I live it.

Oh, balance.

Oh, my God.

What is this?

What is this? You have to contract your
muscles to stay on it, but it moves you

and it shakes you up. Oh, but this is so
easy.

My god feel good. Mm -hmm. I'm gonna
stand here with you.

Oh We're good at this we are working
job, we're good at most things

together Liam

is gonna freak out his favorite holiday
is Halloween

I think I'm satisfied.

Hi. Oh, my God! Hi!

Wait.

Wait, Liam, what do you guys think?

Wait, this is your house. Turn around.

Look around.

Wow.

It's your favorite skeletons and skulls.
So you know the theme is panic at the

disco.

What do you think?

It's amazing.

It's amazing?

So I know that Russell told me to like,
you know, slow down and try to be more

present, but decorating brings me back
to a normal that I know.

This is all for you, baby.

So I apologize for the disturbance in
the neighborhood, but it makes me happy.

Aren't you happy to see me happy about
this?

Considering that I've been literally
super down from like last week.

You know what happened.

That picture in my mind with this big
woman, tall woman, standing

over you is upsetting.

Go shopping.

It's so hot. It's baking. I feel like a
baked baguette already.

Oh, my God. I want to eat everything
here.

Are you going to grill any time soon?

Maybe. I promised Alexia one of your
picanhas.

And actually Marisol. I love it how you
volunteer my abilities.

Well, I messed up Marisol's wedding. I
owe her dinner. I had no right to make

anybody wet, you know?

Yeah. I feel embarrassed in front of
Marisol and allowing Gertie.

to get the best of me.

Gertie made it really difficult for me
last night.

And I know, again, I'm saying I'm so
sorry for ruining your wedding.

The whole thing with the water and the
glass just for me was just, it was too

much. I feel that Gertie decided to wage
a war with our family.

Like me going to Paris to be with Emma.
She tried to...

humiliate me by saying she went to do
her facelift in Paris when Martina was

doing her radiation.

I knew I would be okay by myself, and I
knew that if I had needed you, you would

be on the next plane back.

She didn't know everything, but she's
still attacking. Well, that's her form,

isn't it? She likes to attack.

And then I still write an apology.

Gertie, I just want to apologize.

For throwing water, I'm coming to you
with an open heart. I want to clear the

air and resolve any conflict between us
as soon as possible.

And I still haven't heard back from her.

God, I don't even know what to say.
Like, she violated

me in front of the girls for their
entertainment.

That's what she did to me.

I am actually sick to my stomach.

Just thinking about it.

Because it was a physical, symbolic act
to degrade me to a level as if I was

nothing.

And I've never felt that way before.

It's amazing to me how not one of them
had the common sense to be like, this

might not be a good idea.

This woman's coming out of recovery, all
these things.

Stupid. This is like junior high, high
school. I already went through this.

Even though she said, you are low class,
you have no class. I'm not going to go

down to her level.

But meantime, you are inviting her? Yes.

I hate the feeling excluding anybody.

I have something to ask you.

Can I hold a boy baby shower for you?
Yes, please. Okay, cool. Yes.

So I'll make up to you.

If I believe the person can be mature
enough to control herself and be

that's good enough reason for me to
invite Gertie to my baby shower.

I'll call Adriana.

Why? So let's talk about who's coming.

That's a good question. Gertie hurts me
very much, but everybody is invited.

Okay, that's fine.

I've been to like three baby showers
ever, but none for my kids.

So this better be fun.

Welcome on board. Take your shoes off.

Oh, gosh.

Okay.

Oh, I'm going to give you socks.

I took off my shoes. I got the memo.

You get Shoma socks.

Oh, so cute. Or one flipper.

Maybe I'll just talk.

I met Daphne through my friend Carolyn
Stanberry. It was love at first sight. I

didn't want to meet her.

Show him a sock.

Adorable. I was in the south of France,
yachting in the middle of the ocean, and

now you're adding me in a group chat.
Don't you, like, love your feet?

Yeah. Oh, sorry I made you cover,
though. No, you're good. I'm just cold.

Then I realized, oh, she has a really
good sense of humor.

I just loved her.

But you must really love me if you're
flying with me to go get pebbles.

We're going to the mall. I thought we
were going to get lunch.

Only Stephanie would invite you to run
errands with her, to fly to Orlando to

pick up her dog.

Like, who does that? Is that even
normal?

We are. We're getting caviar shortly.

Oh, good. Okay. I do love caviar.

It's very chic.

Do you guys have a new building that's
going out?

800 units.

Oh, wow.

That's sick.

My husband started Shoma Group, the
third largest real estate development

company in South Florida.

In the early 80s. We're going to
demolish the Volvo dealership. It's on U

We're building 800 in it. It's going to
be really nice. That's sick. That's a

lot of work.

I love that.

A lot. It'll be good.

I am not where I am because I'm married
with Sujo Jai. Yes, maybe I got a little

bit of help, but everybody in life gets
a little bit of help.

Cheers. Cheers. Love you. Thanks for
coming with me.

Let's go.

Thank you for flying show my air.

That looks so good.

So good?

Okay.

So good.

How's Lisa?

You don't talk to me like that. Get out.
Get out. Get out. Get out. Out. Out.

I feel like I don't even want to talk
about it. You know, we don't share, but

glam team used to do her glam a really
long time ago. I feel like I haven't met

girls that I just really, really love
and get along with. And I'm really

to meet some of your friends. And I
really love Alexia and Marisol, but

it. Oh, the last time I saw them.

You don't know Julia, right?

No. Julia got into a situation with
Gertie, and she baptized her.

Oh, that's nice. I want to baptize my
suit. I'm dying to baptize it. I mean,

like, threw a whole glass of water on
her.

What? A whole glass of water over her
head. Oh, so not like a baptism for

Not like a Santa Maria baptism. Like,
crazy.

What's down?

Oh, welcome to Orlando.

Bienvenido a Orlando.

Stephanie made me fly with her to
Orlando to pick up the dog.

I'm not a good flyer. She should have
called you.

Todd and I decided to ask for

an extension to get divorced.

You know, we want another three months.
He doesn't want to pull the trigger. I

don't want to pull the trigger.

He's never going to pull the trigger.
It's going to have to be you.

New D.

Okay,

sounds good. All right, love you. Thank
you. Big kiss.

Hi, how are you?

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Nice
to meet you.

Should I send him to you?

Oh, he's gone.

Oh, okay, sit.

We're taking off now.

Who is it?

Um, your favorite talk -taler.

Oh, Marisol.

Oh, for me? Yeah, they're for you.

Sorry about your father.

Thank you. I know. You know that. Such a
dreadful thing.

Yeah. It really is. I know.

You know, and you don't realize how hard
it is until it finally happens to you.

Yeah. I just wish I had more time with
my dad.

Can I get your drink? You know what I
like, Munker. I think what I took from

this is you need to forgive. You need to
forgive your parents if you have any

issues with your parents. Don't let so
much time go by. Don't hold grudges.

Because that was a huge mistake.

Cheers.

How was the wedding?

It was nice.

We just went to the courthouse. It was
no big deal.

Ready?

Wait, but then you had the party with
everybody.

Oh, yeah. Oh, God. It was awful because
there was just so much chaos going on

within the group. But you know when
Alexia gets here?

We'll talk about that.

Was she there with Todd? No, she wasn't
there with Todd. I'm getting worried

because he's draining her emotionally,
and she's a nervous wreck.

I think she's a shh.

Hi. Oh, my God. Hi, my love.

You look like a rock star. Oh, my God.
Look at you. Thank you for you. This is

for you.

Look how beautiful.

Oh,

I love you, girl. Come sit over here
with us.

Okay, so tell me all the tea, all the
stuff. All the tea to me? Like, I'm just

hearing little things, but not the whole
story, and you told me it was a

nightmare. I was horrified, honestly.

At first, it was just Larsa recapping
Milan.

Okay. And, I don't know, she said that
Jodi was kind of, like, amped up and

of... Crazy behavior.

And argumentative.

The last night of Milan, Jodi gets so
crazy.

He doesn't want us to talk anymore,
yelling over us. Why?

I'm going to show you a photo. Oh, my
God.

And, like, that you were defending her
at one point. I was defending Larsa. You

were defending Larsa because Jodi was
screaming at Larsa.

And you're like, please don't talk to
her that way.

Jodi does not raise his voice.

She is a liar and a manipulator.

Hi. Hi. It's getting a little bit cold.

It started raining after you left.

Well, trust me, it's been raining here
too. What's going on?

Just the whole thing with Lisa.

Especially what happened on Sunday
night.

Was that not crazy?

I've never seen him behave like that. I
was super shocked.

I literally had to tell him he can't
speak to women this way because it was

getting out of control.

I think Lisa knew that he was in the
wrong because she was even telling him,

like, you've got to calm down. Lisa was
telling him, like, shut up. Like, be

quiet. Don't talk to my friend like
that. And he just went on and on and on,

know. But he just, he lost it on you.

His eyes.

The eyes, right? She said he was out of
his character, that he was crazy.

Look at his eyes. Look at his eyes?

She showed us a picture and said his
eyes looked crazy. What is that supposed

mean, his eyes looked crazy?

I don't know, Lisa. Is she okay?

Jodi has big, beautiful eyes.

That's one of the things I like about
him. He looks like a Furby, you know?

She was like, oh, my God, you don't
understand, like, what I saw, like, in

It's, like, crazy, and he's controlling
Lisa. I want to know how he's

controlling you. He's on all of her
business calls, all of them. Like, don't

just want to have a boyfriend and keep
your business dealing separate?

Maybe he's her manager.

She's a social climber. I'm just worried
about Lisa because I feel like Lisa

should really be focusing on herself
more so than having to worry about

grown person.

I don't know what this guy's done to
her, brainwashed her, digmatized her. I

don't know what you want to call it, but
I hope Lisa figures it out sooner than

later. She's going around talking about
my personal business, my family, knowing

that my dad was dead at that time. And
the fact that I was hearing what was

going on back here.

Who told you about my party?

I'm not gonna say. I'm not a rat.

She should have been saying, I hope
Lisa's okay. How is my girl doing?

Instead of talking all crazy about me
and Jodi. Look, the timing was not good

all. Hurting my family.

And that is why I sent her a photo. I'm
not even sorry about it. Because I go,

this is what I'm dealing with.

No, Lisa.

I'm her father in the casket. Yeah, I
sent a picture of my dead dad.

She sent it to Pips.

You said it's a f***ing f***. Oh no.

No. Dead people cannot travel through
cyberspace.

My dad was dead and dying and she didn't
give a f***.

You can't say f*** to you in one text
and the next one, praying for you babe.

She doesn't give a f*** about anybody
but her f***ing self.

We are going to pick up Grandpa from the
airport.

Can I go to the airplane later?

Well, we're not going to the airplane
right now, but yeah, we can book a

Where do you want to go?

Dance.

Dance? Yeah, like a party.

So you just want to go to a party?

Yeah. Why do you love to party so much?
Because I want to dance. You want to

dance? Uh -huh.

We're almost there to see Grandpa.

After my dad kicked me out at 15 years
old, for modeling.

I didn't talk to him or see him or hear
from him for 10 years.

Then aunties, uncles, my mom,
everybody's like, you need to give your

chance. You need to see past this.

It took me 10 years

to finally go through the process to
start to try to forgive him.

So it's been okay for the past few
years, but still, it's baby steps.

Papa, oh my God, I'm so happy you're
here.

Welcome back.

How was Haiti?

Of course this one is screaming ice
cream. We're going to go get ice cream

later, okay, Tati? Let Mommy catch up
with Grandpa.

How is Haiti?

Some places got trouble every day, you
know. You're not going back. You're

to stay here for a while. Uh -uh.

I'm going back.

Girlfriend? No, no,

no. You know I got only one. Only one?
Only one, yeah.

Okay.

She got one little boy for me. A little
boy? Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Yeah.

So I have a brother?

Yeah. Yeah, little brother.

You got little brother.

How old? I think he last about three
years.

Oh, wow.

How many kids you have now?

Seven. Seven? Yeah.

I don't speak in terms with my dad when
Shamar was born.

He's taller than you.

What?

Shamar, just so you know, he's in
college.

Shamar's in college?

Of course Shamar is in college.

And you wouldn't know because you never
asked for it.

My name's Summer.

Summer,

you have a little uncle.

You want to party with your uncle?

Yeah. Okay, I will do, okay?

Oh my God, this is not normal.

Welcome to payball. Can I do?

Lime?

That's more exercise than I've done in a
lifetime.

Hello. Hey.

This is very clandestine. I don't even
know what that means, but yeah.

Hi, how are you?

Can I have vodka with oranges?

Exactly.

I don't know if everyone in this town
knows my cock. I get on a cruise ship,

they know my cock.

Fly to Africa, they know my cock.

I'm in Coral Gables, they know my cock.
My cock gets around.

It's Larta.

You look hot.

I know, right?

She put her chest out when you said
that. She said, I'm hot.

You look good.

You look good for having two baby boys
at home starting over.

That's a lot of work.

I feel really good. I need a drink.

Would you like something to drink?

Yes, please. Could I have a comfy rosca,
but with very little sugar?

This has too much ice in it. It's
chilling my organs.

Thank you, guys.

Cheers, girls. Cheers.

Where is everyone?

What time is Bro and Stephanie getting
here?

Tell me about Stephanie, because I can
hear her name, but I've never met her. I

don't know.

She's fun, but she's tough.

It's no bullshit. She says it's the way
it is, which I like. I respect that.

Stephanie, she and I have been following
each other on Instagram for, like,

maybe two years now.

And when I'm at PR, I've worked with her
husband.

Well, I kind of know everybody.

She likes ghosts. I'm going to Oscar if
she knows. Oh, I love that.

She makes you take off your shoes in her
home. She doesn't even like kids.

Like, not kids.

She just goes, Birkins and boogers don't
go together.

Hello?

Can you pull up a chair? Here.

Can you pull it up here? I'll take your
bag.

Oh, no, no.

Not by the glass. Oh, gosh, sorry. Put
it over here. I have, like, separation

anxiety. Don't touch the Birkin.

It's like when you see somebody with
their emotional support dog, you don't

pet the emotional support dog. You don't
talk to the emotional support dog.

Don't talk to my Birkin. Just let the
Birkin be.

Deb, you've got the full Zsa Zsa today
with the feathers. I love feathers. I

knew you were going to bring the Zsa
Zsa, too.

I love it. I'm so excited to meet you.

I've heard so much about you. So I've
been hearing so much about you. My

loves your wife.

He does?

He's the only wife or woman he's allowed
to love. So it's yours. Okay.

Okay.

I met Masoud at a Miami heat game when I
was 26 years old and he was 50.

Age difference was a really big deal for
me.

I did not want to be seen with an older
gentleman because of the misconception

of people thinking that if you are with
an older guy, you are probably a gold

digger. And then I met Masoud and
everything changed.

Hi, how are you? What are you drinking?

Tequila soda.

Okay, I'll have a tequila soda.

Julia's having a baby shower.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you adopted
babies. Yes, yes, yes. Congratulations.

Thank you. That's the kindest, nicest
thing. Like, it literally shows the kind

of person you are. Are you loving it?

Loving it. Not so much the diaper part,
I have to be honest, but it is what it

is, and we do what we do.

I cannot imagine changing a diaper.

I knew at a very young age that I wanted
to be filthy rich. I'm sleeping and I

go like this.

We got to make money.

Have you had a chance to use the
restroom?

No, Kathy, I didn't get a chance to use
the restroom.

Along the way, I did have moments where
I thought like, hey, maybe you will want

kids. Maybe you should freeze your eggs.

And then I looked at my calendar and I
was like, I don't even have time to go

the doctor to freeze my eggs. I don't
really have time to go pee.

That's like a forever. You can change
diapers with your goat. You can change

your baby's diaper. Oh my gosh, I'm
really excited. I want to go to your

I did not call that. Lars and I were
like, no.

You don't like animals.

No, what?

You don't even know.

I grew up on a farm. I had to put my
finger in the chicken's butt to see if

there was egg in it.

It's usually done with this finger.

Not with Valentino gloves, clearly, but
it's with this finger.

That's how you check for eggs.

Stephanie, you don't come off as
fingering a chicken. I was there when we

castrating bulls and eating the
testicles. You guys don't know this

Where'd you grow up? Where was this? You
don't understand. Is this in Colombia?

Yeah. I lived my entire childhood three
months out of the year in Colombia.

I was in a farm. Were you born there?
No, I was born here. Mercy Hospital. Oh,

me too, Mercy Hospital!

My parents came to this country with
nothing but a backpack.

Being a first -generation American has
made me who I am today.

We have 1 ,400 units coming up. We need
to figure out how to sell them, how to

rent them, and how to stay on top of the
market and beat everybody, be on top,

and always be the best.

There is no room for failure.

You have to keep going until you make
it. If one door closes, go find another

door. If that door's closed, keep
searching.

Would you like to come to my baby
shower?

I would love you to come. I'm already
inviting myself.

Fantastic. Yes, we are coming.

Oh, my God. I like it. Cheers, guys.
Same,

same, same.

Te amo mucho.

Yeah. She's running late, I guess.

She is running late. Can we FaceTime
her?

Yeah, let's touch the record.

Is she never punctual?

No, she's always punctual. I haven't
even heard from her today at all.

Can I just tell you guys something?

What? I have one major pet peeve that I
cannot deal with. What's that?

And it's people that are late.

She's never late.

Something weird's going on.

Something's not right.

She's not even answering. She's probably
having sex with Todd.

Oh, don't tell me that.

He could have called her last minute and
said, come over. Don't upset me, Larsa.

They're totally hooking up.

Oh, it's Alexia.

What'd she say? Hey, I'm in bed with a
bad migraine. I'm very stressed and

anxious. I need a mental break. Sorry to
miss it. Was looking forward.

She's with Todd. I told you.

I need a drink.

Hi, how are you my look? Is

Julia here yet? Nope. Nope. You're the
second to arrive Karen.

I'm so happy to be able to organize this
event. But Julia called me last night

and asked me to sit Stephanie next to
her. And I agreed to sit Stephanie

from her because next to her should be
me. I'm her best friend and I'm the one

doing the freaking baby shower.

This is beautiful, Adriana. Hello.

Thank you.

You were missed yesterday. I know.

We were worried about you. I'm glad. I
needed a mental break from everyone and

everything. Why did you stay in? I was
not with Todd, I promise you. I wasn't

with Todd.

I wasn't with Todd that night, no.

Oh, God.

I promise you I was not with Todd that
night. I wish, but I wasn't. I really

a migraine. I'm just living in Todd and
Alexia's world at this point. It's

horrible.

Very stressed out. I've been having a
lot of anxiety. Just think about

everything. Life?

Life in general. My life. Like about my
situation right now with Todd. Oh.

Which, by the way, you had a lot of
stress too.

A little bird told me about Alexia and
Todd having some financial issues.

I'm not blaming Adriana for Todd
leaving, but nobody likes lies and

your marriage or your relationship.

I mean, does Adriana talk about her
relationships because of all her fake

boyfriends and all her fake stuff?
Whatever. No, I know, but whatever.

talk about it another time.

Oh, wait. Someone is here. Thank you.
Thank you. Oh, nice to meet you. You

fab. So do you. I haven't been to a baby
shower.

Really, I think ever.

Hi!

We missed you last night. I know, I
missed you too.

But it's about babies and happy things
and gifts.

Nothing can go wrong.

Right? Can I just tell you something
without, like, overstepping my

With Todd?

Yeah, no.

Like, when God takes out the garbage,
you don't go back into the garbage and,

like, go diving.

You know?

He, like, took it out, so you don't go
back in.

but I have to realize that on my own.

Stephanie's comment is way out of line.

She doesn't know me well enough to make
a comment like that about my husband.

Thank you.

Where's the party at?

Excuse me, I've got to greet Lisa.

Hi. Oh, my God, look at your baby
balloon.

How are you? Thanks for coming up to me
and greeting me like that.

Take a blue drink.

Cheers. Okay, another girl in blue.

Hi, nice to meet you. It's so nice to
meet you, too. Lisa. Stephanie. Of

As far as I'm concerned, Larissa doesn't
exist. Like, who's Larissa? I don't

know. I don't know who she is.

Wait, Gertie's not here, right?

Gertie is in New York.

Oh, got it.

Baby shower, here we go.

Up to you, darling.

How was your happy hour yesterday that I
didn't get to go?

We had a great time.

I wasn't invited for this.

Well, yeah.

Well, because, well, you know, I think
there was, you know, it wouldn't have

worked. Yeah, Lars was there, and you
guys are really talking.

Um, this is awkward.

Sorry, saved by Julia.

Hi!

I only been to one baby shower in my
life. In Russia, I've never heard about

Like, what baby? You put him in the
shower? Like, for what? Why? I don't

understand. We don't do it in Europe,
neither.

Martina and Julia, you take the queen in
the queen seat. The queen in the queen.

Martina had one request.

It's for this baby shower to be fun.

And I know Adriana. So I'm super excited
to see what she's going to come up with

this time.

Before we start the games, I would like
to propose a toast.

So today we come together to celebrate a
truly remarkable and heartwarming

journey. The adoption of two wonderful
boys who are about to find their forever

home. Let us raise our glasses to the
beautiful bond that's being formed

To the parents, Martina and Julia, your
love and commitment to those boys is

inspiring. Here, here. Too early for
crying.

That will be treasured for a lifetime.

Cheers to love, laughter, and a
beautiful journey ahead.

Cheers, everybody.

Can I say something?

Cheers to love, laughter, and a
beautiful journey ahead.

Cheers, everybody!

Can I say something?

You must.

My friendship with Julia started like
three years ago when we first met.

Actually, mine with her started over a
decade ago.

but actually the quality of the time
that we've spent together.

And we've spent a lot of beautiful time
together. It's not a competition. No,

it's not.

Thank you. Thank you for what you're
doing to these two beautiful children,

Jackson and Luca. And guys, thank you
for all being here. We're going to have

fun.

for you to taste.

Taste?

I'm allergic to baby.

Martina did not want this baby's power
to be boring. I made her a promise and I

am delivering.

Now you're going to have to taste and
then you have to guess what's in the

diaper.

I said one by one.

I think somebody

in this diaper.

and gave it to me.

I'm thinking it could be Larsa.

She wants me to eat her shit.

I smell mustard.

I've got to eat it. No preservatives,
right?

Tongue it, tongue it, tongue it.

Well, quite frankly, the diaper shit was
pretty good. There was lentils in

there, and I'm a vegan, so I was
enjoying the shit in my diaper.

lentil, beans, spinach.

Yeah.

Applause to a cute kid.

As a mom, you know, when you have
babies, you're removing this diaper,

especially boys, they're peeing, and
then the pee just, and then shit got on

your face.

Moving on to the next game, I'm going to
give you the buckets, and now you

choose truth or dare.

I go for the truth now.

I don't have my glasses. Okay, I'll read
it.

Okay. If you got to have a threesome
with people in this room, Who would you

duel with and why?

And all I can say is you better include
me in that.

Well, threesomes are not my thing.

She can't make a choice. I don't do
threesomes, my love.

Yes, you have done a threesome.

My threesome experience sucked.

All the way.

Completely. So pick one.

I mean, one person is always going to be
left alone, I think, right?

So, and then you're going to be like
watching and saying, hi, are you done?

are you doing? I don't know. Like, this
is totally not my thing. I'm going to

choose Stephanie.

I'm a new girl. You're the new shiny
toy. We've only known each other for

five minutes. Exactly. We just barely
met. Stephanie doesn't roll like that.

She's traditional.

Three thumbs are not for me. I just
really like my husband and I by

What's the biggest mistake I've ever
made? Biggest mistake I've ever made is

feel like I'm too loyal.

I need to stop being, that's like a
mistake because it comes back to bite me

the ass all the time.

Fair enough. That's a good one.

Why don't I get all the good answers?
Fair enough.

One or the other.

Work for a full 30 seconds.

I didn't get that one.

I

think

Martina would never say that a baby
shower is boring again. And I feel like

after this one, Martina might even be
like seeking baby shower invitation.

Let's move on to the table and we're
going to have dinner or lunch, whatever

is. Now we're going to eat and then
we're going to have dessert.

I think it's a little bit rude to

want to be my friend because what I
have.

Would you be my friend if I invited you
to my Colombian farm to eat chicken

noodle soup?

Would you eat testicle?

or do you only want to come hang out
with me and have caviar and rosé in the

sky? Am I drunk?

You talk like you're a little tipsy.

I have to pee. Want to come with me?

You okay?

I've been dealing with so much, and I've
been dealing with help over there.

Larsa, how are you feeling? I just feel
like I can't.

take any more like, you made this harder
for me, whatever.

When I'm like, I let Marisol read the
text messages, everything that I'm

is like prayers and whatever.

Whoever's going back and telling her and
not giving her a space to like mourn,

you know, her father saying, that's who
she should be mad at, not me. I want to

know who told her.

But that's not the important thing. That
is the important thing. No, you and her

started fighting back a month ago.

But I would never stress her out during
this time.

The fact is that you were talking about
Lisa while she was in Canada.

mourning her father. You asked me, so I
told you. Can we stop this conversation

for one day?

Are we talking about me?

Well, the fact is that you were talking
about Lisa while she was in Canada.

Mourning her father. You asked me. I
told you. Where's the disconnect?

I mean, there's a lot of tweets to it.
Can we stop this conversation for one

day? Are we talking about me?

Why? No, we're not going to talk about
anything.

Can I have a meow, meow, please?

Mama needs a meow, meow.

A little meow, meow, meow, please.

Guys, I have a question. I don't want it
to be a thing. I have just one

question. Because I feel like there's an
elephant in the room.

Who would admit that they told Lisa
about what happened that night at

place. I'm not a rat, and I'm not
telling you. I'm not asking you. I'm

saying us, us.

Julia, why are you starting this with
your own baby shower?

I did not say. That's all I can say. Did
you say?

She was not even invited.

This is not a murder mystery game. It
doesn't matter.

Marisol, I am very sorry.

I thought it was you.

Well, it wasn't me. I thought it was
you. But then, when I had lunch with

Gertie, a couple of days later, Gertie
was like, well, I was doing that thing.

Gertie? Yeah.

Somebody from the group told Lisa what
everything Larsa said that night.

Who did? I did.

It doesn't really matter. I should be
told because it was about me and I

there to defend.

myself because I was dealing with my
dead dad.

It does matter. It's like the broken
telephone.

Of course it matters.

Not the time and place.

It hasn't even been one week since I put
my dad in the ground.

And no one's understanding that. Like,
why is this even a conversation?

Like, what is wrong with all of you?
Don't you get it?

I'm sorry, Lisa.

I'm sorry, Lisa.

I didn't want us to have a conversation.
It's not important.

Just enjoy your dinner.

You guys,

this is about you guys. You guys are
doing a beautiful thing. You think I

to talk about this when I'm a dead dad?

This is... I don't want it to be about
me. I'm so sorry.

I love you guys. I'm so sorry.

I didn't want this.

I'm leaving. I asked all of you not to
start this conversation.

I specifically asked for peace and
conviviality. Too bad I'm out of

because they all deserve a pacifier
shoving in their mouth.

I'm so sorry. I am so sorry. I don't
want this to be about me.

I mean, who fight at a baby shower?

We need God. We need help.

I'm so sorry.

Sorry. I really asked you guys not to
start the conversation.

It's okay.

I'm so sorry. I am so sorry.

I just want to go.

You think it was right for Grady to call
her and tell her?

No. Okay, that's all I'm asking. That's
it.

That's it.

We're done. We're done talking about it.
This is such a warm welcome to me. I

love it. It's called welcome to the NFL
or maybe welcome to the NBA.

What kind of party is this? I was just
asked to have a threesome. One of the

girls was crying, leaving.

Where's the food?

It's like survival of the fittest in the
table.

On the next episode of The Real
Housewives of Miami.

This is...

Beautiful. So these are the mirrors that
we're talking about. You put the quotes

on them. You cannot fix someone who
doesn't want to be fixed, but you can

your life trying to do it. Hello?

It's me. It's me. You betrayed my trust.

Do you think of how rude it is to make
everybody wait? Do you think your time's

more important than all of ours? I think
you're f***ing rude. Don't ever talk to

me like that again. Is this f***ing
bullshit?