Original subtitles

Got the sun on my face.

I'm sleeping rough off the road.

I'll tell you all about it.

Across 20 years and three incredible adventures, we've travelled to some of

farthest slung corners of the world.

This is us on the road, Charlie. This is us on the way, man.

Yet we've never properly explored the country on our own doorstep.

OK, here we go. Into Europe. Let's do it.

So we're spending the summer riding a spectacular loop through 17 of our

neighbours.

Starting at my house in Scotland, we'll cross over to the continent, travel up

through the Nordic...

and into the arctic circle down to the baltic before winding our way through

alps and across france returning home about two months later and we're going

throw caution to the wind by doing the journey on temperamental 50 year old

bikes that have been given a new lease of life my bike's making funny noise

riding alongside them on the third motorcycle our cameraman claudio and

the guys will also be taking personal diary cameras

Russ and I will be following behind with a small crew and two electric trucks,

only meeting up with the guys when necessary.

So, this summer, Europe is our playground.

And we're going to follow our noses and see what we find on the open road.

We're in Austria now.

Feeling a little peckish.

What's Austria's... National dish. Well, I think the schnitzel and an apple

strudel. Oh, yeah.

Schnitzel and strudel.

To end our trip on a high, we're heading to Europe's biggest mountain range, the

Alps.

Starting in Austria, we'll sweep through Switzerland and then up through France

on our way home.

First off, a quick pit stop in Vienna.

Oh, Vienna!

My butt is really sore.

I'll move forward, Ewan, and you can pat my butt.

Is that better?

That's better. Thank you.

What's this river called again?

Oh, the Danube.

The Danube.

Oh, yeah.

This is what I imagined it looked like. Yeah.

Vienna.

Here we are, Vienna.

City of dreams, city of music, and fortunately for us, a city famous for

cake.

Oh, look at that. That was synchronized parking, that was.

We've been told about an interesting little cafe that serves some of the best

pastries in town.

It's run by old -age pensioners. Is this it? Look, with the little granny face.

Oh, brilliant.

Run by the old ladies.

Or maybe old men too, I don't know.

Oh, look at you, a cut on the furniture.

Oh, it's wicked.

It's your first time here?

Yeah, yeah, first time.

Should we sit at this one?

Thank you. Oh, lovely.

Do you enjoy it?

Yes, I like it.

Yes, I like it. I'm so 10 years ago.

10 years you've been here?

Yes. Now, what can I drink? Your special coffee? Yes, yes. Oh, yes, I'll go to

you and look at the coffee. Go on, Jonathan. I will ask you, please sit

now, and then you'll ask me. Okay.

You are a motorbike, motorbike?

Yes, we ride motorbikes. Oh, when I was young, I looked everywhere a man for a

motorbike. Oh. I didn't find one. You didn't find one? No. Oh, you've got them

now. You've got two now. No, no, I don't.

Hello, hiya. Hello, hiya. Yeah, can I take a piece of this, please?

Apple strudel. Apple strudel, yeah, please. Thank you.

Cream, yes, please.

Cream, yes.

We have an expression in Scotland, eat up your aunties.

This is a bit like that.

Eat up your aunties.

Thank you.

Is that apple strudel? Yeah, this is apple strudel. Oh, can I have a bite?

Oh, it's very, very good. It's good, isn't it? Yeah.

Bloody hell. That's a good one.

Here are our special cake from Birna. Oh, is that... Oh, my God.

These buns inside this hot plum marmalade and hot vanilla sauce.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my God. Is that like...

Right down the jeans. Oh, it's good creme anglaise.

Oh, my God, it's so good.

Grandma,

could you just throw mine in the quick cycle?

Thank you so much. Oh, my God.

Thank you very much. Love it.

It even looks like...

Something your granny would have made for you. Look, isn't it?

So basically there are two motivations.

One is financial poverty. If you're 65 plus and need some additional income,

there's nothing. And the other one is social poverty.

When people stay active.

having a meaningful activity to do, then we stay healthy. Healthy.

Yeah. Congratulations.

You're making it work.

So, good for you. And helping so many people along the way.

And your custard is outrageously good.

You like it? The custard's very, very good. Of course it is. It's like

custard. Granny's custard, yeah.

Fantastic. I've eaten all the custard. I'm so sorry. Oh, no, no, no. That's

fine. I didn't leave any... No, no. Not really any crumb and glaze for you.

But the...

What a great idea. Brilliant.

Absolutely brilliant.

This way, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, Ewan, you take the lead, Ewan.

I've just scrammed so much food.

I know, me too. I feel absolutely... I feel like I've got a food baby.

Yeah, I'd like to just go and lie down.

I'd like to pass out right now.

Time for some proper Austrian culture.

And for that, we're going up into the mountains.

During the summer, this amazing landscape becomes a natural backdrop for

array of plays and concerts.

And we've been invited to a sneak preview of a brand new opera being

lake.

It is such a beautiful part of the world, Austria.

I love it.

This opera is about a merman who falls for a salt maiden and is loosely based

an old folk tale about how valuable salt deposits were found in this very lake.

Wow, look at this. This is nice, isn't it?

Yeah. Oh, look, there she is, out there. That's the salt woman, right?

That's who the merman's looking for.

There's the other cast.

Wow. In the boat. Look at that.

I sent this legend to Vanni Moretto, and he decided to compose an opera for us,

and I found Andreas, who is our director.

Yeah, yeah.

Thanks for letting us watch today. It's the first rehearsal, and you know, the

first rehearsal at the lake. Yeah, is it exciting? Yeah. Great.

Good luck.

That's the most basic one.

This is exactly where the legend takes place.

So, you know, it's something really exciting in a way to be here.

Okay, and go.

Thank

you. Let's do

it until this point.

Thank you. Thank you.

Johanna. And go.

He's the one who's seen the... Right.

The water man. He's seen something in the water that is strange.

Not on the line between me and the singer. Please, get out of the line.

Please, get out.

You did a great job with the boat.

Thank you. Yeah.

You were, like, hauling it back on your own at one point. Very strong.

OK,

let's stop here. That's a good break.

Brilliant. Break a leg. Have a great time.

And thank you very much for letting us observe this morning. That was really

special. Thank you.

Now that is the way to see an opera.

It's magnificent.

I really, really like it here.

This is some of the most staggeringly beautiful landscape in the world.

And while I'm here, I can't miss the opportunity to practice a new passion of

mine.

I'm very excited about the paragliding tomorrow. I'm absolutely passionate

it because my dream ultimately is to climb the mountains of Scotland and fly

down them.

That's why I really want to learn to be a good pilot.

Today is the day.

I took a course and I went up to Santa Barbara and I've learned to paraglide

I'm not quite certified yet, but I'm close.

Let us start up here.

Fly out here.

Let us hide here.

Down. And then land somewhere over there.

Oh, the conditions are gorgeous.

Look at it.

Here we are.

This is the launch site here.

Oh, here we go.

It's a bit higher than Santa Barbara.

Shall I do some left and right to wait for you? No, you don't have to. No, I

don't need to. You'll be right behind me. As soon as you're OK, I'll go. OK.

if I fluff up a launch, well, then you're on your own.

What am I doing?

Who thought this was a good idea?

I'm sure I'm not twisted up.

We're doing tandem, so I thought it'd be nice to fly with Ewan.

And I was down there, and now I'm up here, and I was all confident down

It's so super lightweight. There's no clips.

This just hooks in there like that.

And then this goes over to lock it.

Little elastic and that's it.

So Ewan, you can take off whenever you're comfortable with whatever wind

like. He's done a couple of hundred of these, so I'm quite happy.

How beautiful.

So with steering in a paraglider, you lean first.

That instigates the turn, a little bit of brake.

And you come around.

Relax your legs, you, and relax.

Look where you are.

Woo, Charlie!

All right, mate.

Yeah, just hanging around.

I thought I'd just drop in.

Nice to see you up here.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

People keep talking about how parts don't matter. Oh, my God.

Wow, it's like a religious experience, it is.

We don't belong. I just love it so much.

Oh, wow.

We're there.

Maybe we can fly to the landing field?

Oh, my God.

Wow. He's up.

Yep.

Okay. Okay? Yeah.

Me feel a bit ill when they were going in those real tight circles. I felt a

like a Bit a bit woozy. I felt there, but that was them. That was amazing

It

comes you in

Incredible, isn't it? Oh, man.

I mean, we saw each other up there a little bit, but we ended up in different

heights and stuff.

You look good up there.

So, Charlie, if you can gather it. Yep.

Gather it up a little. Just sort of the top a little bit, that's it.

Do you want me to zip it up from this end? Yeah.

All that camping has helped with the packing.

Maybe that's what I like.

tense so much because they remind me of paragliders.

Isn't it amazing?

Look, you stick it in the back of your car.

That's your aircraft in there.

That's it.

How was that?

Oh, God.

It was so beautiful. I had a little cry.

I was like, I got so moved.

I loved it so much. It was the highest takeoff I've ever done.

That was a heart stopper.

It was funny, when I was going tandem, he double -checked all the clips. I

couldn't help myself.

I had to check for myself as well, just to double -check that he double

-checked.

We've been told about an artist who worked out of a castle in this part of

Switzerland. He goes by the name Not Vital and was part of a group of New

artists in the 80s, which included Warhol and Basquiat.

This is definitely off the beaten track.

Oh, wow. Look at it up there.

Yeah, that's a big old house.

And is this his gallery or he lives up here?

I'm not sure. I think a bit of both.

Hello. And you live up here?

Sometimes.

Would you?

I would, yes.

I would.

Yeah. Wow.

Okay. I love that on the end there.

That's called unpleasant object.

Unpleasant object.

Are we allowed to go and have a look? You want to go on? Yeah. We'd love to

it.

Well, look at this.

1900, this person came here.

His name was Linkner. He invented Odol, mouthwash. And he became so rich with

that.

that he could do whatever he wanted. So he came here, he saw this ruin, bought

it, and built it for 16 years.

So this castle was built on mouthwash, on the fresh breath of Germans.

That's brilliant.

Oh.

Yeah, those are testicles. If you see the David of Michelangelo in Florence.

Yeah. Let's say that David would be as big as the Palazzo, his balls would have

this size.

It's nice to see that.

What a place.

Incredible.

So, like, I made this whole tree, this cast in bronze. Wow.

Beautifully done. Wow, that's big.

How many pieces did you make it?

I don't know. I mean, quite a few, I guess, no?

But it's technique, and technique is not so important.

So it's Michelangelo already.

Technique? Technique's not important.

OK, let's go. We take the elevator.

Oh, there's an elevator.

Of course there is.

That is just hilarious.

Wow. So the owner, Lingner, he wanted to be an organist, no?

This is where he was going to play.

Yeah, this is the organ. It's the biggest private organ in Europe.

Jeez, look at the pipes.

They thought before everything has to be straight.

Yeah. It can be like spaghetti, so the air goes through.

And so they could compact the whole organ.

And when was this organ built?

1916, the year that he died.

Is it playable?

Yes. Have a go, Charlie. Have a go. I've never ever played one of these before.

Wow. This is Benjamin Britten.

Wow. This is his instrument because he composed here.

This is played Benjamin Britten's piano.

There you go.

Beautiful.

I'm worried about that.

Okay, Charlie, I think you're right. We should put it down. Why?

I'm worried about that. We're worried about that part. Let me just pop it

But it's made in England.

Well, exactly.

That's why we should put it down.

Yeah.

Have you ever owned an English car?

It just appeared.

Look

at

that. If you like mountains, this is it. Wow.

And this is the national park.

Yeah. It's lovely traveling and exploring.

Maybe they built these towers just for the view. No.

No, I'm joking.

The view was of no interest.

The idea of looking out is new.

In the old days, you were either out or you're inside.

This idea of looking at the landscape, that's decadent. Oh, how funny.

Decadent. It was a great pleasure to meet you. Really, absolutely fantastic.

Such a pleasure.

I really enjoyed your company.

I took a photo of the rainbow and it looks like it's coming out of the

pelvis. Oh, yeah.

Wow, that was quite a mind -blowing experience.

He was a character who made me laugh. He had a very comic tone of phrase.

It was quite funny when we were by the organ.

You know, that organ plan.

Where did he come from? I mean, it was like he was waiting in the wing. It was

so weird.

Yeah. He looked like he was from a 1950s Italian art movie.

Before we leave the Alps, we'll stay the night at our cameraman Claudio's house.

What an amazing place to grow up. Bloody hell.

Look at that, Owen. Do you try to...

Look at that. This is Claudio's long way round bike. Yeah. They were such great

bikes. I still love them to bed.

Hello. Oh, the Dimmu.

92 years old. No, not into 92. I mean, Olympic Games.

Olympic Games.

Olympic Games. Olympic Games.

Yes. Gold medal.

20 years of travelling with you, Claudio, and we've never seen your

you've... Always spoken about it. It's so nice to be here.

Love all the wood.

Yeah, that's typical here because in winter it's bloody cold.

Yes. Thank you. Okay, tschüss. Good night. Thank you very much. Goodbye.

Bye -bye.

It's pretty early in the morning and I didn't sleep very well. The thing that

kept me awake.

All night was this little puppy as the culprit.

Six o 'clock, it was a concophony of bells.

Apparently, you get used to it.

Bye, guys.

Bye -bye.

After you, Charlie.

We're about to leave Switzerland, but not before we've tried our hand at one

more super local sport.

Hornison, otherwise known as Farmer's Gull.

Oh, I've got neutral there. That's all good.

I've noticed they don't go round the corner so well in neutral, these bikes.

You know

what it reminds me of, guys?

Uh...

I know Sally Gap in the Wicklow Mountains in Ireland.

I don't know that one.

It's very Glencoe.

OK,

here we go.

We don't know exactly what it is. We're going to find out.

This is where J .K. Rowling got the Harry Potter Quidditch thing.

Oh, is it? I don't know.

Did you just make that up? I just made it up, yeah. Okay.

Straight out of the Book of Borman, yeah.

Oh, look at the thing. Look at that weird, shitty thing.

That's the bit where they... Oh, wow.

Those are the sticks. Yeah.

I wasn't expecting like a fishing rod. A big old wobbly thing. So we have here,

this is the part where we hit a hornet.

This is something like a hockey puck. A little bit smaller, but harder. Right.

Very fast, 300 kilometers per hour. And they try to hit the hornus as far as

possible. That's a puck.

Yeah, better clay.

Where does it sit?

Oh, right at the end.

Wow, okay.

What happens when you go into the tree?

It's death line for you.

Death line.

Okay, death line. The death line.

Okay,

here it goes.

I would definitely knock it off there by accident.

Classic, yeah.

Coming around.

Over the cloud. Now he goes in the cloud.

And now you can't see it anymore.

I get a feeling that we should give it a go. You want to try, right? Yeah, I'd

love to try. Yeah.

So you come around like this.

Join Charlie and Ewan on rare sports around the world.

Long way, rare sport.

When you go back, you do slowly. Hit through the ball.

Whoa!

It's the natural talent.

I think Charlie's going to call him. I give you up to the paper for coming to

us. Well, you know, I don't come cheap.

That's very kind. Very good.

Well done. Thank you.

Ewan.

No joke once you get up here, eh?

How do I look? Do I look like I'm halfway on the pipe there?

I think you need to be in the middle of the wood. Am I not in the middle?

No, here.

That's the middle there. Okay.

Okay.

It's raining now.

Not with force.

Not with force? Not with force.

I shouldn't use the force? Is that what you're saying?

Don't use the force.

Perfect. Right down the middle, Jørn.

Well done. I did use the force. I did use the force.

Hey, two natural talents.

We have two players more.

Two players more today.

Thanks, guys. That was brilliant.

I really enjoyed that. It was great. We should just stay here and carry on this.

I like the idea of the game, didn't you?

I'm interested to see it.

Look how far away they're going.

They're miles away.

In the defense, you have to make sure that you know Hornus.

Both to the ground before you stop it. Okay. Look at the dent on here. That's

solid wood.

No wonder they wear helmets.

Yes!

Oh, that's a monster.

Oh, yes, he's done it. He went that way, the board went that way.

Nice to meet you, man. Take care. Thank you so much.

That was a weird sport we just witnessed.

How did it come up with that whippy funny stick?

John knows.

What I love is the enthusiasm for it.

We're on the home straight now, making a beeline north to Calais before we cross

the Channel in the morning.

What's at the front?

That's it, Charlie.

Oh, bloody hell, wow.

This is our last country before we get home. We really are on the last leg now.

Yeah.

This is France that we know and love.

Wow. This looks

familiar, Charlie.

I was here about 25 years ago.

It's got an incredible Gothic cathedral.

Well, should we stop off and stretch our legs?

Okay, let's do it.

You think that's it? I don't know.

Awesome, isn't it?

Amazing, huh?

I did a six -day trip around France, and I remember having pictures of my bike

with this in the background.

And I wanted to be left alone, so I did a full -on, like, shave, proper Mohican.

And nobody spoke to me for five days. It was terrible. It was so lonely.

Quite awe -inspiring when you see it from here, isn't it? The size of it.

Let's have a little peek inside.

Look at the glass color there. And the end.

What an amazing feat to build something like this. But the intricate detail of

everything is insane.

Look at all these little carvings everywhere.

The Masons were allowed to carve their own faces as a kind of... as a figure.

This is where they used to crown the French King.

There's one for Tulsa.

My lovely sister.

Here we go.

Onwards and upwards.

Calais. Our first sun post for Calais. Oh yeah, look at that.

We've seen so much of France that you just wouldn't see if you sat on the

motorway. I've really rather liked it. My farm, on the other hand.

Has had enough.

I'd love to just wash my bike.

Get all that oil off the side of it.

Yeah. I'm sure there'll be a hole.

Oh, sure.

Oh.

Oh, hello.

Oh, it's lovely.

Seriously.

Wow.

Holy moly.

Aye. What a great place to stay on our last night.

But the change... It

was still white underneath.

I felt for sure it was just all rust.

But actually, it was totally just surface rust.

And nobody, including myself, had ever given it a wash.

Look, it's white.

I've got to get her looking like she's the star of the show.

She's the star.

So, for our last meal together, I'm making meat pasta and then we're doing

beef. So we'll pan sear it and then put it in the oven.

It is amazing, isn't it? I mean, it's not the longest mileage in the world,

a 50 -year -old bike in...

The cold and the heat and the rain. Pretty impressive, I think. I'm so

to her, you know.

God, it's a good bike, isn't it?

God damn it, it's a good bike, isn't it?

I just keep, I keep, when no one's around, I keep going over there and I

her profile. She's so beautiful.

She's so beautiful, this bike.

The last two and a half months has been incredible.

We've done a huge amount.

And I've loved every minute of it. It's just been brilliant.

Hanging out with Ewan and having that person on your back all the time and

looking out for each other. I really, really like it.

That's perfect.

I roasted them earlier.

You just squished them out? I squished them out. If you squash them and then

cook raw garlic, it can sometimes give it a different kind of flavour. This

gives it a more earthy flavour.

I'm always going to do that now.

And I'm always going to cook my new potatoes in dill. In dill.

Those are two things I've learned on this trip. And you have to let them

the potatoes, don't you?

So, yeah.

Who won't be good?

6 .30, we leave at 8. Go up to Calais, get back to Charlie's house and meet

everybody.

Mary will be waiting for me.

I can't wait to see her.

Can't wait to be in her arms. And then tomorrow, ride back home to Scotland,

where we all started from.

But this is it.

This is the last day.

I can't get my foot to go up, isn't that funny? Last day.

Oh, oh, oh.

I wonder what that was.

How

do

I look? My white mud guard.

Wow, I didn't realise it was white.

I didn't know they were white. I just thought they were run.

Yeah. That's so funny.

I still can't quite believe it's the last day.

There she is, there she is.

Oh my gosh, that's the White Cliffs of Dover, is it?

Yeah. Is it?

Yeah. It's so close.

I'm finding it really difficult to remember everything that we've done on

trip. I mean, it's quite extraordinary. We've really packed it in. We've been

carried around this huge journey on 50 -year -old bikes. It's quite a long way.

I've never been in most of the countries we went through before.

I don't think I've ever been to Denmark.

I don't think I've ever been to Denmark.

You see the landscape change around you.

Here we go.

That's a nice wall of snow.

You experience the element.

Attacked by mosquitoes in forests and pitting rain. They want my blood.

Oh, dear.

My favorite night was camping on that island, and they left us there.

We just sort of fell into a lot of stories, and you end up meeting

people.

And there's something about that that feeds your soul.

The technical term. You have to be open to the journey.

You have to be open to your bike breaking down and being stuck at the

the road.

Are you able to be my knight in shining armor? That was the spirit of the trip.

That was the whole point. Go on old bikes that would slow us down a bit so

would see more stuff, have more of a laugh.

And that's exactly what happened.

It's amazing.

Oh man, the idea of riding the bike to your house.

So exciting.

It is cool.

All the trips we've done, we've always finished somewhere else.

Yeah. And now we're, you know, back into the Channel Tunnel, back to Britain.

Long way home.

Here we go.

We almost fell over there.

That would have been embarrassing.

Yeah, I saw that Charlie and Ewan the other day.

Ewan fell flat on his face.

Fell out of his arms. Yeah, standing still in a train.

Welcome to England. We hope you had a pleasant trip.

Right, now on British soil. There we go.

Oh, no, we have to drive on the left. Oh, my God, the left, the left.

We're on the home straight to Charlie's house in Surrey.

It won't be the end of the journey for me, though, as tomorrow I'll leave

Charlie behind and set off for Scotland on my own.

Perhaps in a few hours we'll be... At your house.

We'll be at my house.

But first, though, we're going to meet up with some bikers. It's become a bit

a tradition.

We're trying to coordinate all of the convoy people who have started to

Four minutes past one.

Dad's normally a bit of a dickler for time.

Here he is.

Well done.

You did it.

We can hear you coming around the corner.

Yeah? Yeah, the bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, the bice.

It's lovely to see all those bikes in my mirror.

These guys are motorcyclists.

Ewan was telling a story about when he was making the film, he was prohibited

ride a motorcycle.

He said, asking me not to be able to ride a motorcycle is like asking me not

listen to music. That's who these guys are.

Oh, man, remember the ride into New York.

I remember a very strong feeling of losing you and all the people.

Being on the road with Charlie, it's something that I share with him and no

else, you know.

He's in my mirror or I'm in his. It's so familiar. We've done so many thousands

of miles like that, you know.

I think as you get older, you're much more precious with the people that you

spend time with, and you're just one of those people.

There is something about being like a boy again, on a bike with kids, you

and meet up with a mate in the street and just knock about.

It's a bit like doing that as a grown -up.

I wasn't really going anywhere until we did Long Way Round, and I remember

thinking that I'd let my family down.

So I feel very grateful that I met Ewan.

It's been amazing.

It has.

Thank you, Ewan. It's been great fun.

Thank you, man.

Well, it was a hell of a long way around to get to your house, Charlie, that's

for sure.

I suggest next time just the A1 or the M1 or something, the M6.

My driveway's just here.

No way. Pardon me.

Hello,

everybody.

Wow, look at my beautiful walking.

Where is there?

That was a very long way.

Oh, the tattoo.

Yeah, I've never seen Charlie's place

I'm

gonna get on my bike and ride to Scotland but via Manchester where I've

plan so I don't have to ride the whole way.

Bonnie Scotland again.

My friend Chris has been putting

together a Volkswagen Beetle, so I'm going to put this bike up on a trailer

by night time we'll be home.

He'll give you a call and see how he's doing.

Probably won't answer.

You know, it's all over.

Charlie? Hey, man, how's it going?

Oh, mate, I miss you too.

Guess what it's doing right now?

Raining.

Manchester.

That looks great.

I haven't driven a car for ten weeks.

I hope I can remember.

Fingerprint not recognised.

Well, I'm not allowed to go home because it won't let me in.

Fingerprint recognised.

Press it here.

This one. This one here.

Here, press that.