Original subtitles

Oh!

Hi.

You look wonderful.

Oh, thank you.

Ann, guess where we're going tonight. I don't have to guess. We're going to the

Maison d 'Or for dinner.

Ah, then I did forget to call you.

Something has come up.

Jeffrey, you promised we'd go out and have a nice time tonight. And we will.

Where? At the Los Angeles Firehouse Preservation Society.

You're kidding.

Do I look like I'm kidding?

Oh, Ann, the evening will be a marvelous experience for you. It's going to be

very, very exciting.

You call preserving firehouses exciting?

Oh, it's not just firehouses, Ann. It's axes and helmets and poses.

Jeffrey, could this have anything to do with the fact that the president of your

tennis club is an old firehouse buff?

Bill McKenzie.

No, no, of course not. Good, because I'm not going.

You really are going to pass up this unique opportunity.

You mean an opportunity to butter up Bill McKenzie so he can nominate you to

board of directors of your club?

Hey, that's a great idea, Ann.

Well, I have a better idea.

Call him up and tell him we're not coming. Oh, why not?

Because... I got all dressed up. I made dinner reservations. I asked Helen Roper

to come over here and babysit, and you couldn't even bother to pick up a

telephone. Are we having an argument?

I don't know about you, but I am.

All right, there's only one way for me to put this to you.

I am your husband.

You are my wife.

Your place is by my side.

put it another way.

And? Jeffrey, stop it.

All right, I will.

Stanley?

Stanley? What are you doing?

I'm, uh, I'm listening for termites.

I know that now.

Oh. Well, if we do, they're all asleep.

When are you buying me our new furniture?

What new furniture?

The new furniture you've been promising me for months. A new cocktail table, a

new couch, a new chair.

Are you crazy? You know what that stuff will cost?

About $200.

That's not so bad.

Down.

We can pay off the rest in monthly installments.

You know, now that I think about it, there's a lot to be said for the

we've got. Yeah, it's old.

Some things get better with age.

Some things don't.

I'm just being cheap.

Listen, the next time there's a sale, we'll go looking. Oh, hey, Stanley,

There's this big sale today.

Like I said, next time there's a sale, we'll go looking.

Stanley! I'm tired of talking. Are you going to get me my dinner?

Are you going to get me my new furniture?

No.

Okay, then I'll tell the Brookstons that you were listening to them through the

wall.

We'll do something.

Another scotch double Make that a triple

not spending all your money.

It's become completely unreasonable.

Over nothing.

I mean, our furniture's in great shape. What is wrong with wanting to show off

my wife? She is a beautiful woman.

A little lumpy in places.

Great legs.

Of course, the seat is worn out.

What? Well, why get rid of something that's already broken in?

We're talking about my wife.

Why would I talk about your wife? I don't know. I got enough trouble with my

wife. Yeah? Yeah.

Oh, it'll be okay, Helen.

Yeah, but, Em, we had a terrible fight.

So did Jeffrey and I.

But it'll be better later.

It will?

Yeah.

A long time ago, Jeffrey and I made a promise to each other never to go to bed

mad. So no matter how bad the fight is, the making up is always great.

Oh, if I thought that would work for me, I'd fight with Stanley every night.

To tell you the truth, though, I am starting to worry a little about

just know he's sitting alone somewhere brooding. Oh.

That's the way it is when Jeffrey's hurt.

He keeps it all bottled up inside.

You know where our trouble is, Rupert?

We are too easy.

You know, Helen gets away with murder.

Really? Who's she kill?

I'm speaking metaphorically.

friends.

I have misjudged you. Oh, sure, you are undesirable, uncouth, and a general

nuisance to have around. Oh, thank you.

And that's not the whiskey talking. You know, I wish Helen understood

me like you do, Jeffrey.

Call me Jeffrey.

Here.

How much money do you need for the down payment on that? Oh, no, no. Yes, yes,

yes. No.

Gift is a gift from one friend to another. How much do you need? You need

100? 200.

Listen.

You know... You know what I like best about you?

What?

Your car.

I can't give you my car, Stan.

A man's car is his castle.

I thought a man's home is his castle.

And a man's car... as his castle away from home.

Oh, no.

What's the matter?

I just remembered.

Your castle away from home is a slum.

Here. Here. My castle is your castle. Oh, no.

Take it for a spin any time you want. How about tomorrow?

How many times, fellas? It's two o 'clock.

Ann is going to kill me.

Not if you make her happy.

There's only one way to make a woman happy.

Ask somebody who knows.

And you make Al the second happy man.

Your wife's still unhappy.

Helen.

Helen, about last night. Oh, Stanley, you were wonderful.

I was?

I don't know how to thank you. Oh, you'll have to.

Supposing I make you a special breakfast?

Some extra Wheaties?

Was I really that good?

Uh -huh.

Well, that shouldn't come as such a big surprise.

It did to me.

Well, I mean, after our big fight, you know, I just wanted to make you happy.

Oh, and you did.

Oh, Stanley, that was such a nice way to do it.

On the dresser.

Or the dresser.

Now I can buy our new furniture.

Good morning.

Good morning.

You're hungover. Hungover?

Why, what gives you that idea, darling?

Ow, ow, ow.

That gives me that idea.

Ow, ow, ow.

Please, you've got to stop it.

I didn't know tennis was good for a hangover. Don't remind me.

I have to meet Bill McKenzie at the club in 20 minutes.

How about some oatmeal?

No, no, no.

I'll just lie down here for one minute until this pounding goes away.

Oh, that's better.

Do I need a reason to say hello to my old friend?

Yes. We're just about to sit down to breakfast. Oh, what are we going to

Bacon and eggs and waffles.

Waffles are my favorite.

You got any mayonnaise? I like mayonnaise on my waffles.

I'll go see it.

But don't you have anything better to do?

I was going to try out our castle.

Castle? Yeah, yeah, you know, your castle is my castle.

I have no idea what you're talking about, but try it out now.

Are you leaving, Mr. Roper? Yes.

Love that man.

I've got to go back to bed.

Do you want me to cancel your tennis match? Oh, my tennis match. I'm going to

late. My racket. Where's my racket?

Oh, thank you, thank you. My keys.

I don't have my car keys.

Here, take my set. Thank you.

My car.

What are you talking about?

Oh, no.

Someone's stolen my car.

Jeffrey, you better call the police.

But who?

Why?

Jeffrey, the police. Right. Ow.

Oh, I'm late. I'm late.

I'm late. I'm going to go next door to Roper's and see if they saw anything.

Right.

You can borrow ours to go to your tennis game.

Your card? Your card? No, I don't think that'll be necessary.

And when they come back on the line, give them all the information. I am

your card to the club.

Jeffrey, you can't do that. Don't you remember? It's in the shop.

How am I going to get to my game?

I hope you don't ask a jury that question.

Come on, we gotta get your book. Wait, I'm allowed one phone call, right?

Sure. Phone's right over there.

You are making a big mistake.

I demand to speak to someone. Yeah, speak to him.

How dare this man put cuffs on me. Believe me, heads will roll for this.

What's the charge? I stopped him for driving erratically. There's no other

to drive that car.

And we ran a check on it and found $150 in unpaid parking tickets. Aha, aha.

Another mistake. Those tickets are not mine.

And he doesn't have any ID. I know this is starting to look bad.

Will you stop laughing, Helen?

I'm in jail.

They think I stole Brooks' car.

What do you mean, did I do it?

Look, just find Brooks and get him down here.

Brooks.

Good work, Helen.

Rupert, what are you doing here?

You won't believe this. Some idiot called and said I stole your car.

You took my car? Your castle is my castle.

You

gave

me

the keys.

Roper, you are crazy.

And you gave me $200.

You should be locked up.

I am locked up.

Well, I'm not going to be.

Officer! Is there any way to treat a friend?

Officer, this is the man with the outstanding parking tickets. This is

Roper. Tell him, Roper.

Listen, if you don't stop making a racket, I'm going to throw you in the

tank, okay?

I think he's gone stir -crazy. Now, look, I already warned you. I don't

have got to get out. Oh, yeah? Well, what makes you so special?

I have to go to the bathroom.

Thank you.

Don't be too long, Brooks.

I have nothing, nothing to say to you.

No!

Excuse me, officer.

Let me help you.

he's going to be doing a lot of it.

Oh, no.

No, no, no!

Boy.

I sure could go for a tall glass of ice -cold water.

Does it feel like rain to you?

He's Jeffrey Brooks and he's Stanley Roper? That's right, officer.

Can you release them now?

Well, I don't know about Mr.

Brooks. He gets hot pretty easily.

You can release Stanley. He hasn't been hot in 20 years.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Roper. It's still the matter of those parking tickets.

Oh, how much is the fine, officer?

$150.

$150?

Yes, ma 'am.

Here's the money I gave you for the furniture. We don't need that anyway.

Excuse me. Can you let me out? I'm already late.

Jeffrey, you missed the tennis match.

Well, I know, but there's a buffet at the club tonight. If we hurry, we... If

hurry? Look, which is more important, the furniture or me?

Officer,

I'll be back in a couple of days to pay the fine.

for two hours with a desperate man.

Jeffrey P. Brooke, the desperate man?

Well, not anymore. They let him go to the bathroom.

Where were you anyway?

Oh, Ann and I went shopping for our new furniture.

What new furniture? I told you this furniture is fine.

Okay, Stanley.

Let's just sit down and talk about it.

You're not going to get me to sit over there.

You see?

See? See what?

As soon as it's fixed, it'll be as good as new.

Like everything else around here. That's right, yes.

The Ropers was videotaped in front of a studio audience.

Jack and Vicki are concerned about Bradford's new young girlfriend.

Three's a crowd.

Next on Deja View.