All language subtitles for the_ropers_s02e05_two_for_the_road

Oh!

Hi.

You look wonderful.

Oh, thank you.

Ann, guess where we're going tonight. I
don't have to guess. We're going to the

Maison d 'Or for dinner.

Ah, then I did forget to call you.

Something has come up.

Jeffrey, you promised we'd go out and
have a nice time tonight. And we will.

Where? At the Los Angeles Firehouse
Preservation Society.

You're kidding.

Do I look like I'm kidding?

Oh, Ann, the evening will be a marvelous
experience for you. It's going to be

very, very exciting.

You call preserving firehouses exciting?

Oh, it's not just firehouses, Ann. It's
axes and helmets and poses.

Jeffrey, could this have anything to do
with the fact that the president of your

tennis club is an old firehouse buff?

Bill McKenzie.

No, no, of course not. Good, because I'm
not going.

You really are going to pass up this
unique opportunity.

You mean an opportunity to butter up
Bill McKenzie so he can nominate you to

board of directors of your club?

Hey, that's a great idea, Ann.

Well, I have a better idea.

Call him up and tell him we're not
coming. Oh, why not?

Because... I got all dressed up. I made
dinner reservations. I asked Helen Roper

to come over here and babysit, and you
couldn't even bother to pick up a

telephone. Are we having an argument?

I don't know about you, but I am.

All right, there's only one way for me
to put this to you.

I am your husband.

You are my wife.

Your place is by my side.

put it another way.

And? Jeffrey, stop it.

All right, I will.

Stanley?

Stanley? What are you doing?

I'm, uh, I'm listening for termites.

I know that now.

Oh. Well, if we do, they're all asleep.

When are you buying me our new
furniture?

What new furniture?

The new furniture you've been promising
me for months. A new cocktail table, a

new couch, a new chair.

Are you crazy? You know what that stuff
will cost?

About $200.

That's not so bad.

Down.

We can pay off the rest in monthly
installments.

You know, now that I think about it,
there's a lot to be said for the

we've got. Yeah, it's old.

Some things get better with age.

Some things don't.

I'm just being cheap.

Listen, the next time there's a sale,
we'll go looking. Oh, hey, Stanley,

There's this big sale today.

Like I said, next time there's a sale,
we'll go looking.

Stanley! I'm tired of talking. Are you
going to get me my dinner?

Are you going to get me my new
furniture?

No.

Okay, then I'll tell the Brookstons that
you were listening to them through the

wall.

We'll do something.

Another scotch double Make that a triple

not spending all your money.

It's become completely unreasonable.

Over nothing.

I mean, our furniture's in great shape.
What is wrong with wanting to show off

my wife? She is a beautiful woman.

A little lumpy in places.

Great legs.

Of course, the seat is worn out.

What? Well, why get rid of something
that's already broken in?

We're talking about my wife.

Why would I talk about your wife? I
don't know. I got enough trouble with my

wife. Yeah? Yeah.

Oh, it'll be okay, Helen.

Yeah, but, Em, we had a terrible fight.

So did Jeffrey and I.

But it'll be better later.

It will?

Yeah.

A long time ago, Jeffrey and I made a
promise to each other never to go to bed

mad. So no matter how bad the fight is,
the making up is always great.

Oh, if I thought that would work for me,
I'd fight with Stanley every night.

To tell you the truth, though, I am
starting to worry a little about

just know he's sitting alone somewhere
brooding. Oh.

That's the way it is when Jeffrey's
hurt.

He keeps it all bottled up inside.

You know where our trouble is, Rupert?

We are too easy.

You know, Helen gets away with murder.

Really? Who's she kill?

I'm speaking metaphorically.

friends.

I have misjudged you. Oh, sure, you are
undesirable, uncouth, and a general

nuisance to have around. Oh, thank you.

And that's not the whiskey talking. You
know, I wish Helen understood

me like you do, Jeffrey.

Call me Jeffrey.

Here.

How much money do you need for the down
payment on that? Oh, no, no. Yes, yes,

yes. No.

Gift is a gift from one friend to
another. How much do you need? You need

100? 200.

Listen.

You know... You know what I like best
about you?

What?

Your car.

I can't give you my car, Stan.

A man's car is his castle.

I thought a man's home is his castle.

And a man's car... as his castle away
from home.

Oh, no.

What's the matter?

I just remembered.

Your castle away from home is a slum.

Here. Here. My castle is your castle.
Oh, no.

Take it for a spin any time you want.
How about tomorrow?

How many times, fellas? It's two o
'clock.

Ann is going to kill me.

Not if you make her happy.

There's only one way to make a woman
happy.

Ask somebody who knows.

And you make Al the second happy man.

Your wife's still unhappy.

Helen.

Helen, about last night. Oh, Stanley,
you were wonderful.

I was?

I don't know how to thank you. Oh,
you'll have to.

Supposing I make you a special
breakfast?

Some extra Wheaties?

Was I really that good?

Uh -huh.

Well, that shouldn't come as such a big
surprise.

It did to me.

Well, I mean, after our big fight, you
know, I just wanted to make you happy.

Oh, and you did.

Oh, Stanley, that was such a nice way to
do it.

On the dresser.

Or the dresser.

Now I can buy our new furniture.

Good morning.

Good morning.

You're hungover. Hungover?

Why, what gives you that idea, darling?

Ow, ow, ow.

That gives me that idea.

Ow, ow, ow.

Please, you've got to stop it.

I didn't know tennis was good for a
hangover. Don't remind me.

I have to meet Bill McKenzie at the club
in 20 minutes.

How about some oatmeal?

No, no, no.

I'll just lie down here for one minute
until this pounding goes away.

Oh, that's better.

Do I need a reason to say hello to my
old friend?

Yes. We're just about to sit down to
breakfast. Oh, what are we going to

Bacon and eggs and waffles.

Waffles are my favorite.

You got any mayonnaise? I like
mayonnaise on my waffles.

I'll go see it.

But don't you have anything better to
do?

I was going to try out our castle.

Castle? Yeah, yeah, you know, your
castle is my castle.

I have no idea what you're talking
about, but try it out now.

Are you leaving, Mr. Roper? Yes.

Love that man.

I've got to go back to bed.

Do you want me to cancel your tennis
match? Oh, my tennis match. I'm going to

late. My racket. Where's my racket?

Oh, thank you, thank you. My keys.

I don't have my car keys.

Here, take my set. Thank you.

My car.

What are you talking about?

Oh, no.

Someone's stolen my car.

Jeffrey, you better call the police.

But who?

Why?

Jeffrey, the police. Right. Ow.

Oh, I'm late. I'm late.

I'm late. I'm going to go next door to
Roper's and see if they saw anything.

Right.

You can borrow ours to go to your tennis
game.

Your card? Your card? No, I don't think
that'll be necessary.

And when they come back on the line,
give them all the information. I am

your card to the club.

Jeffrey, you can't do that. Don't you
remember? It's in the shop.

How am I going to get to my game?

I hope you don't ask a jury that
question.

Come on, we gotta get your book. Wait,
I'm allowed one phone call, right?

Sure. Phone's right over there.

You are making a big mistake.

I demand to speak to someone. Yeah,
speak to him.

How dare this man put cuffs on me.
Believe me, heads will roll for this.

What's the charge? I stopped him for
driving erratically. There's no other

to drive that car.

And we ran a check on it and found $150
in unpaid parking tickets. Aha, aha.

Another mistake. Those tickets are not
mine.

And he doesn't have any ID. I know this
is starting to look bad.

Will you stop laughing, Helen?

I'm in jail.

They think I stole Brooks' car.

What do you mean, did I do it?

Look, just find Brooks and get him down
here.

Brooks.

Good work, Helen.

Rupert, what are you doing here?

You won't believe this. Some idiot
called and said I stole your car.

You took my car? Your castle is my
castle.

You

gave

me

the keys.

Roper, you are crazy.

And you gave me $200.

You should be locked up.

I am locked up.

Well, I'm not going to be.

Officer! Is there any way to treat a
friend?

Officer, this is the man with the
outstanding parking tickets. This is

Roper. Tell him, Roper.

Listen, if you don't stop making a
racket, I'm going to throw you in the

tank, okay?

I think he's gone stir -crazy. Now,
look, I already warned you. I don't

have got to get out. Oh, yeah? Well,
what makes you so special?

I have to go to the bathroom.

Thank you.

Don't be too long, Brooks.

I have nothing, nothing to say to you.

No!

Excuse me, officer.

Let me help you.

he's going to be doing a lot of it.

Oh, no.

No, no, no!

Boy.

I sure could go for a tall glass of ice
-cold water.

Does it feel like rain to you?

He's Jeffrey Brooks and he's Stanley
Roper? That's right, officer.

Can you release them now?

Well, I don't know about Mr.

Brooks. He gets hot pretty easily.

You can release Stanley. He hasn't been
hot in 20 years.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Roper. It's still the
matter of those parking tickets.

Oh, how much is the fine, officer?

$150.

$150?

Yes, ma 'am.

Here's the money I gave you for the
furniture. We don't need that anyway.

Excuse me. Can you let me out? I'm
already late.

Jeffrey, you missed the tennis match.

Well, I know, but there's a buffet at
the club tonight. If we hurry, we... If

hurry? Look, which is more important,
the furniture or me?

Officer,

I'll be back in a couple of days to pay
the fine.

for two hours with a desperate man.

Jeffrey P. Brooke, the desperate man?

Well, not anymore. They let him go to
the bathroom.

Where were you anyway?

Oh, Ann and I went shopping for our new
furniture.

What new furniture? I told you this
furniture is fine.

Okay, Stanley.

Let's just sit down and talk about it.

You're not going to get me to sit over
there.

You see?

See? See what?

As soon as it's fixed, it'll be as good
as new.

Like everything else around here. That's
right, yes.

The Ropers was videotaped in front of a
studio audience.

Jack and Vicki are concerned about
Bradford's new young girlfriend.

Three's a crowd.

Next on Deja View.