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1
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,339
Ann?
2
00:00:06,660 --> 00:00:07,660
Ann?
3
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:10,840
David wants to take this in to show his
teacher.
4
00:00:11,140 --> 00:00:12,940
Oh, that's fine, fine.
5
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,180
That's very good.
6
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,420
Ann, sit down.
7
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,660
I've been thinking a lot about your
false alarm.
8
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,560
Oh, I solemnly swear to be more careful
in the future.
9
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,040
Unless I forget.
10
00:00:27,740 --> 00:00:29,680
That's not quite what I had in mind.
11
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:32,960
You see, I, well...
12
00:00:33,230 --> 00:00:34,850
What I'm thinking of will make that
unnecessary.
13
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:37,910
That is, if you agree to the idea.
14
00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:44,710
Oh, Jeffrey, I'd love to have another
one. No, no, no, that's not... I kept
15
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:46,270
the baby clothes. Really? Very good.
16
00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:50,490
And... Well, I really would like another
child.
17
00:00:51,030 --> 00:00:52,950
People are starving in India.
18
00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:55,950
Okay, I'll have it in America.
19
00:00:57,710 --> 00:01:01,590
The world, the world is overpopulated
and is looking to us for an example.
20
00:01:02,150 --> 00:01:03,150
Well, why us?
21
00:01:03,370 --> 00:01:04,450
Why not the Kennedys?
22
00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:10,350
The point is, Anne, that I've decided
that the best thing for me to do would
23
00:01:10,350 --> 00:01:13,350
to... To, uh... To what?
24
00:01:13,630 --> 00:01:16,070
To have a vasectomy. A vasectomy?
25
00:01:20,150 --> 00:01:23,110
Hey, you've broken the wing off the
Queen Mary.
26
00:01:32,750 --> 00:01:33,870
Why don't you drag me down here?
27
00:01:34,130 --> 00:01:35,130
Stanley.
28
00:01:35,630 --> 00:01:41,490
It's very kind of you to see us on that
short notice, Mrs. Easton. Please, take
29
00:01:41,490 --> 00:01:42,490
a seat.
30
00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:48,930
Now, you are
31
00:01:48,930 --> 00:01:51,070
Helen and Stanley Roper.
32
00:01:51,290 --> 00:01:52,290
Oh, very good.
33
00:01:54,790 --> 00:01:56,330
I'm Stanley, and she's Helen.
34
00:01:58,210 --> 00:01:59,910
And you've been having some problems.
35
00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:03,310
Would you like to tell me about them?
Yes. No.
36
00:02:06,410 --> 00:02:09,729
Well, Mr. Roper, your wife seems to feel
that your marriage needs help.
37
00:02:11,009 --> 00:02:13,490
When did you first feel that things were
going wrong?
38
00:02:14,110 --> 00:02:15,530
On our wedding day.
39
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:21,590
We were walking down the aisle and he
stepped on my train and ripped half my
40
00:02:21,590 --> 00:02:22,590
dress off.
41
00:02:23,550 --> 00:02:24,850
I forgot all about that.
42
00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:28,770
Everybody in the church could see what
was borrowed and what was blue.
43
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:39,340
If that's not the best place for us to
start, then perhaps we should
44
00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:40,860
on the things that you like.
45
00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:44,340
What would you say you both have in
common?
46
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:54,240
Television.
47
00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:01,040
Television. We both talk a lot about the
TV.
48
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,280
Oh, well, that's good.
49
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:03,800
Yeah, she wants it off and I want it on.
50
00:03:09,550 --> 00:03:10,990
I'd hold her to switch it off.
51
00:03:12,350 --> 00:03:13,510
How about coffee?
52
00:03:14,350 --> 00:03:17,370
Nah, we fight about that, too. He likes
cocoa.
53
00:03:18,410 --> 00:03:20,250
I meant, would you like a cup now?
54
00:03:22,170 --> 00:03:24,190
Oh, I'm sorry, yes.
55
00:03:24,650 --> 00:03:26,230
I'd love it. So would I.
56
00:03:32,290 --> 00:03:34,010
Stanley, you're not trying.
57
00:03:34,990 --> 00:03:37,350
You know, if we're going to make this
thing work, we...
58
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,080
What are you doing?
59
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,280
Just looking.
60
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,280
There's got to be some very weirdo cases
in a place like this.
61
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,660
That's confidential!
62
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:48,680
I'm not surprised.
63
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,500
The things people do.
64
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:54,600
This couple must be double -jointed.
65
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:18,839
Grover, we try to work in an atmosphere
of mutual trust.
66
00:04:19,079 --> 00:04:21,360
Oh, you can trust me, Mrs. Easton.
67
00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:24,460
Now,
68
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:34,440
how
69
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,900
about your love life?
70
00:04:46,190 --> 00:04:47,790
Do you want to start, or should I?
71
00:04:50,870 --> 00:04:54,190
Helen, that side of our marriage is
very, very private.
72
00:04:54,430 --> 00:04:57,330
Yeah, it's so private that half the time
I don't know about it.
73
00:05:02,310 --> 00:05:03,410
I do my duty.
74
00:05:06,990 --> 00:05:10,470
You mustn't think of it as a duty, Mr.
Rober. Don't tell him!
75
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:19,640
He's got another woman. He has?
76
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:20,679
I have.
77
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:24,600
Oh, don't try to lie out of it, Stanley.
I got proof.
78
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:27,300
You crazy? There is no other woman.
79
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:28,560
Oh, no.
80
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:32,800
Well, who did you write all these
letters to, then?
81
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,120
Where'd you get those?
82
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,880
When I look at you, dear Doris, I get
goose dimples.
83
00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:39,140
Goose dimples?
84
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:40,620
Goose are private.
85
00:05:40,980 --> 00:05:44,300
Everything here is strictly
confidential, Mr. Roper. Oh, yeah?
86
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,470
Like, uh... Mr. and Mrs. Greenbaum and
their trampoline.
87
00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:58,210
It's best to have a full and frank
discussion.
88
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:03,130
Okay. You be full, she'll be frank, and
I'll be going.
89
00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:13,610
Well, David sounds asleep.
90
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,960
Dropped off just as Charlie was going
into the chocolate factory.
91
00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,660
Now I have to wait till tomorrow night
to find out what happened.
92
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,580
You really enjoy those stories, don't
you? Yes.
93
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,400
It's a shame there won't be another
little boy or girl for you to read to.
94
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:29,240
Now look, Ann.
95
00:06:29,940 --> 00:06:31,400
My mind is made up.
96
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:32,640
Oh, good.
97
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,660
Because I made an appointment for you
with the doctor.
98
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,160
You go under the knife at two o 'clock
tomorrow.
99
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:51,640
It's 2 o 'clock tomorrow.
100
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,120
It's very soon.
101
00:06:54,960 --> 00:07:00,220
Well, apparently there's no pain. Just a
local anesthetic and snip, snip. Don't
102
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,220
do that.
103
00:07:03,420 --> 00:07:05,440
Then they sew you up. Sew me up?
104
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:06,880
Well, I hope so.
105
00:07:09,540 --> 00:07:13,600
Yes, well, you know, it's not definitely
decided yet.
106
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,340
And it's a very drastic snip.
107
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,500
It's a very drastic step to take.
108
00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:22,630
Tomorrow at 2 o 'clock is very soon.
109
00:07:23,970 --> 00:07:25,950
I'll put it off for a month or so.
110
00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:28,170
Oh, well, if you think I should.
111
00:07:28,730 --> 00:07:32,930
Oh, no, no, it's not my decision. I just
don't want you to do the right thing
112
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:33,930
for the wrong reason.
113
00:07:34,790 --> 00:07:36,090
Well, actually,
114
00:07:37,450 --> 00:07:43,310
I... I think it would be nice to have a
little brother or sister for David
115
00:07:43,310 --> 00:07:44,310
someday.
116
00:07:44,870 --> 00:07:47,150
Oh, Jeffrey. I said someday.
117
00:07:47,750 --> 00:07:51,800
Well, let's... Have an early night and
discuss it.
118
00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:54,780
It's a very good idea.
119
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,960
Please, Helen, you've got to believe me.
There is no other woman.
120
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,060
I suppose you just wrote these letters
to nobody.
121
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,060
Yeah. No.
122
00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:15,080
I didn't mail them.
123
00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:18,990
Look, she's just somebody that I admired
from afar.
124
00:08:22,090 --> 00:08:24,890
Who is Doris?
125
00:08:25,790 --> 00:08:27,170
I can't tell you.
126
00:08:27,830 --> 00:08:28,830
Okay, Stanley.
127
00:08:29,410 --> 00:08:30,730
Don't ever speak to me again.
128
00:08:32,590 --> 00:08:35,789
Helen, I can't tell you because if I
told you, you'd only laugh at me.
129
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,110
Yeah, well, this is hardly a laughing
matter.
130
00:08:41,990 --> 00:08:44,750
Okay. Okay, I'll tell you, but you gotta
promise not to laugh.
131
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:49,360
All right, I promise not to laugh.
132
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:54,480
I wrote those letters to Doris Day.
133
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:05,400
Doris Day?
134
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,640
The movie star?
135
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:12,220
Yeah, you know, it's magic, pillow talk.
136
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,200
They're just fan letters.
137
00:09:19,340 --> 00:09:20,340
Yeah.
138
00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:55,510
That's a good little bird.
139
00:09:57,170 --> 00:10:00,030
We gotta stick together. We have a lot
in common, you know.
140
00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:02,490
We're both caged birds.
141
00:10:05,810 --> 00:10:06,810
Excuse me.
142
00:10:09,490 --> 00:10:10,490
Yeah.
143
00:10:11,670 --> 00:10:12,670
What?
144
00:10:14,130 --> 00:10:15,130
From the studio?
145
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,050
Doris!
146
00:10:20,550 --> 00:10:22,050
Is that really you, Miss Day?
147
00:11:04,439 --> 00:11:08,480
The Ropers was videotaped in front of a
studio audience.
148
00:11:21,050 --> 00:11:22,550
Thank you for listening.
10864
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