Original subtitles

So, did you see my weather forecast last night? The one where you predicted the

earthquake in Galveston? Yes.

I didn't predict it. I said it would be funny.

So, now that I'm a famous weather girl on cable, would you like an autographed

photo? No, and I don't want the action figure either.

There's my little mommy -to -be. How you doing, honey?

Oh, no. I have a really uneasy feeling about this pregnancy.

Oh, honey, that's just normal.

Why don't we talk about it?

What are you doing?

You're about to mother, Reba.

I love to watch you mother.

I wish your mothering moments were available on DVD. I'd have every season.

I feel pretty good, and the doctor said that everything's going great, but I

just... I have this feeling that something's just hanging over my

it's making me feel really uneasy.

Do you ever have that feeling?

Honey, I think the feeling that you're talking about is what I call going good

blues. Going good blues?

Yeah, going good blues is the feeling that we all get when things are going

really good, but we're just waiting for things to go bad. Oh, my God. Oh,

heavens.

Cheyenne, just listen to me, okay?

The key is not to worry about what could go wrong, but just enjoy all the things

that are going right.

Does that help?

Yeah. Yeah, it does.

Good. Thanks, Mom. Good deal, babe.

Right.

The woman is wrong.

What? I thought you said Mom was great at mothering. Yeah, she is, okay? But

she's old school, okay?

I mean, that kind of advice would be great on the prairie, Mrs. Ingalls.

But today, we've got a whole new thing going.

Well, why do you think I'm having this feeling?

Oh, Cheyenne, you're having these feelings because you have got a million

to do before that baby comes.

I mean, there's so much to plan. I don't even know what to do first.

Well, the first thing is done.

You told me.

I'm going to take it from here, Peanut, okay?

Thanks, Barbara Jean. That's sweet.

Now that I'm a role model, people stop me on the street all the time and they

ask me, they say, stormy clear weather?

What is your secret for balancing your role as wife, mother, and career woman?

And I say, it's no secret.

It's organization.

And then I say, would you like a photo?

Okie dokie, Barbara Jean has compiled a list of all the things that you guys

need to accomplish before my blessed event.

Now please skim through them and let me know if you have any questions.

I think you're going to find that every item is necessary.

Is it that I have so many more pages than everyone else? Because you did this

me.

I have to learn Spanish?

Yes, honey. In case they have to take a cab and the driver is Latino.

Probably the same reason I have to learn Farsi.

Okay, now any and all other questions should be directed towards Van, who is

charge of all communication.

Which includes printing materials, newsletters, and coming up with a baby

that is cooler than Siri, but not as weird as Apple.

I, meanwhile, will be in charge of fitness and nutrition. So, Cheyenne, I'm

going to need a list of foods already in the house, including fridge, pantry,

and freezer. Okay. Well, I believe that falls under communication.

Cheyenne, you do realize I have a job, right?

Say that to my stomach fan, so our unborn child can hear how much you just

care.

Hey, when you come out, I'll show you where I hide from Mommy.

Well, this has been really great, but I'm late for any place where they're not

talking about Cheyenne.

I'm gonna go rehearse with my band.

Kira!

Kira, I think this is a little more important than your little band

This is about the birth of my child. Listen to yourself.

It's always my, my child, my pregnancy, my fifth grade reading level.

I read good, Kira.

You should feel well about yourself.

do to make her so awful dad oh don't blame me baby i was golfing for most of

childhood almost two o 'clock as fitness and

nutrition counselor i think it's time for a light snack can we have some booze

with our snack i think she was talking about cheyenne so was i

so was i

I want to thank you guys for being so wonderful. I'm going to get each of you

nice little gift.

And I believe that falls under communication.

I like to fall under a truck.

Hey, what's going on? Nothing, nothing.

Meeting's over. Nobody say nothing.

Mrs. H, she's giving me pages of things to do.

Who has?

Her, Foggy Clearbottom.

I was just, I was so inspired by watching you mother earlier that I

might just step in and do a little touch -up.

You know who shouldn't do touch -ups?

The touched.

Okay, I'm going to go talk to Cheyenne and see if I can straighten out your

mess.

You know what?

You were going to get a photo, but not anymore.

I guess I better go get a book to teach me Spanish.

Hey, wouldn't that fall under... communications?

Go before I throw you.

Mr. H, would you do me a favor?

Will you hold this pillow over my face until I stop twitching?

Relax, pal. You're just a little stressed out. Look.

The next time Cheyenne does something that's a little bit crazy, just let it

bounce off of you like BBs off of Buick.

BBs off of Buick? Yeah.

What kind of stupid advice is that?

Hey, it works.

Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping.

Well, I guess it doesn't hurt to try.

Is that what you did when Barbara Jean was pregnant?

No, I played golf through most of her pregnancy.

So, honey, stop worrying so much.

You can count on us to make sure that everything will get done.

And it's more important right now for you to relax and not let yourself get

worked up.

Okay, I guess I can bring it down a couple of notches.

I think I was overreacting because I'm just so excited to be pregnant again.

We're all excited, too.

Oh, not Kira.

Well... To be fair, this is a joyful event, and that's really not Kira's

You know what I just thought of? Zip it, rainy sore bottom.

I wasn't going to say anything.

I was just thinking that wouldn't it be hysterical if Cheyenne had a baby

exactly like Kira?

What? Why would you say something like that, Barbara Jean?

Because that's what she does. She just talks and talks and talks until

somebody's head explodes.

Well, it just seems like Elizabeth takes after her, so what if the next one

takes after Kira?

Okay, you know what? I changed my mind. I want the action figure and a hammer.

I could.

I could have a baby just like Kira.

Hey, Mom, do you remember what she was like growing up? She was a horrible

little...

you to understand i'm not saying this to hurt you i'm saying this so you'll

relax okay and don't take it personally cheyenne yeah

kira was not the monster you

were you were the bee

Cheer me up.

That I was the horrible one, not Kira?

Yes.

I see.

Tag me in, Reba. Tag me in.

Tagging you, Barbara Jean.

Kira followed you everywhere, but you didn't want to share the attention with

her. I was an attention hog?

Oh, come on, Mom. That doesn't even sound like me.

Sweetheart, you had a full -length mirror on your bike.

When I was younger, I was an attention hog.

When you were younger?

Oh, yeah.

I completely outgrew it. I mean, now I'm uncomfortable being the center of

attention.

Stop looking at me.

Okay, if I was what you're saying that I was, why don't I remember any of it?

Okay. Let me show you something, Cheyenne.

It's a picture from Kira's fifth birthday.

I usually keep this picture tucked behind another photo.

This is the only picture we took that day.

The party took a bad turn.

What is this?

The birthday cake with the toy fire engine smashed in it.

My family used to use candles.

looking at me.

What happened?

Well, we gave you the truck to give to Kira, but you didn't want to give her

anything. So, after she opened it, you took it from her and smashed it into the

cake.

That was the last day Kira cried.

I know what I have to do.

make things right with Kira so I can get my karma back in balance.

Karma? Yeah, that's Buddhist for I'm rubber, you're glue.

Hey, Ben.

Ben, are you sleeping with your eyes open again?

You know, Mrs. H, when you shoot BBs at a Buick, some are going to bounce off.

Bing.

Bing, bing.

But eventually, one is going to sneak through and hit some glass.

And it's going to break into a million tiny pieces.

Nobody knows what I'm going through!

Pull it together, boy. We got neighbors.

What's that?

That Cheyenne texting me again.

She sent me out for ice. How long ago?

the birthday party that I ruined for her when she was five.

I asked Van to get me a big number five candle.

He brought me a four and a one.

It adds up to five.

It's not the same thing.

What made you

decide to give her another birthday party? Me.

Well, it was Cheyenne's idea, but I was right behind her. And look, y 'all.

I made a cake. But since I'm in charge of fitness and nutrition, I made a sugar

-free bran cake with cottage cheese frosting.

Oh, you know what would go good with that?

A hot cup of dirt.

Cheyenne, I couldn't find any wrapping paper.

Aw, Jakey, I asked you to do one little thing and you can't seem to do it.

At least I didn't bring you four in a one candle.

And up to four!

Surprise!

Kira, do you know what this is?

You finally got your GED?

My sister wanted to give you a birthday party to make up for one that she kind

of messed up when you were younger.

I did something that I regret, and I cannot feel better until I apologize.

So this is about you feeling better? Yes.

And you, too.

You're amazing, Cheyenne.

Even when you do something for somebody else, it's still mostly about you.

So you're not going to forgive me for one little thing that I did to you when

were kids that you don't even remember? No, Cheyenne, because it wasn't just one

little thing. You were crappy to me all the time. And I do remember that

birthday party very well. I believe it ended something like this.

Sarah!

Well,

I better go talk to her.

and now I'm done.

Now, honey.

You know, what made me think that Carol would be anything but completely selfish

about this?

Now, hold on a second. That's not exactly fair.

You can't expect someone to forgive you after years and years of hurtful

behavior. Why not?

I have always been the giving one. It's about time that she did something for

me. Oh, your little sister did a lot of things for you.

Oh, name one.

How about the time she beat up Tyler Wallace?

Tyler Wallace was this bully that one day made the mistake of pulling

pigtails. Oh, I used to keep mine greased just in case, you know.

Remember?

Cheyenne screamed, Tyler laughed, and Kira came out of nowhere and dropped him

hard.

She slapped that boy so many times it sounded like applause.

Look, Cheyenne, maybe Kira will forgive you, but you have to mean it.

Oh, good, Kira. Your sister had something she'd like to say to you.

Dad said I had to come in here. He didn't say I had to stop.

Halt!

Turn!

Listen!

Speak!

Nicely!

Okay.

I'm sorry that... that... You know what?

I could have a boy. Cheyenne!

I don't know what to say. Just speak from your heart.

Remember, the woman is good.

Quit looking at me.

Okay, Kira.

One thing that I hate doing.

most in this world is admitting that i was wrong and especially admitting i've

been wrong 15 years but i have i've been very selfish i

treated you badly and i blamed you for it and i'm really really sorry

and i hope that my daughter

turns out exactly like you

I appreciate it.

You're welcome.

We're not going to hug, are we? No.

Yes!

Oh, Reba, that is so beautiful.

You know, you and I may have very different styles of mothering, but you

the bottom line is, we are good mothers.

We are good.

Where's Henry?

Crap!

Yo, check it out. Beauty and the Geek, the two -hour season premiere Wednesday.