Original subtitles

You eating cookies?

Somebody was.

I'm putting these back.

Hey, Mrs. H, what's for dinner?

I got fired from my job today.

What happened?

Did your boss sexually harass you?

Did he call you tooth or honey or touch you like this? Because if he did, we are

talking Bitcoin.

No. I called him a monkey's butt.

Ah,

that's okay.

Oh, for future reference, the one moment of joy that you feel when you tell off

your boss isn't worth it.

Come on, Mom. Look at the bright side.

What bright side?

You're home early.

Come on, buck up, camper.

If anybody knows that there's a brighter side to losing their job, it's me. And

hey, I didn't lose some crummy office job.

I lost my life's passion.

And? When my football career went up in smoke, you told me that just leaves me

open for something better.

Granted, that hasn't happened yet, but I'm still hopeful.

Yes, Mom, and you should be, too, because you are talented and fantastic.

Yes, and I want you to march right upstairs, get in a hot bath, and relax,

because you got nowhere to go except up, lady.

You're right.

When one door closes, another door opens.

Thanks, guys.

Love you.

Aw, honey, I really think you lifted her spirit.

Yeah, well, you better get used to it.

We're going to be carrying that dead weight for the rest of our lives.

Hey! My roots are planted in the past Though my life is changing fast

Who I am is who I want to be A single mom who works too

hard Who loves her kids and never stops With gentle hands and a heart of...

know what's it pay you know i was thinking since money's gonna be kind of

around here maybe i could help out see there's this open mic night at a

club downtown and if my band wins we get a hundred bucks wait a minute are you

asking me if you can go to a club i'm asking if i can show my family i care

by playing music in a club no Why not?

Because clubs are seedy and dangerous.

At least the fun ones are.

But music is important to me. I finally found something I care about. I'm very

happy about that, sweetie. I really am.

But you can't go by yourself, and I can't go with you.

Fine. I'll be at my house, selling my guitar on eBay.

Hey. Ben, I need you to do me a favor. You got it. Anything at all. I need you

to go with Kira tomorrow, because she's going to play in a contest with her

band. Oh, come on!

No way!

He goes with you, keeps an eye on you, and brings you back home. Those are my

conditions. Fine. But when I'm a huge rock star, one of the security guys is

going to babysit you.

This is it. Don't make me do it.

They're not even a real band. They're posers.

They're like the flag football of music.

Hey, you! offered to help. Yeah, because I thought you were going to ask me to

do the dishes or something.

Oh, I need you to do the dishes, too. Oh, come on!

Oh, you poor thing.

It broke our hearts when we heard you got the booth.

Not that we were surprised.

You've always been full of the staff.

Hey,

I had a great attitude at that job.

Just kept it on the hush -hush.

Well, I baked you this to get you through the hard times.

Granny calls it pity pie.

Because we give it to people we pity.

And it's pie.

So, have you decided what you're going to do now?

Oh, I know exactly what I'm going to do.

Remember back when I got my realtor's license, but then I got pregnant with

Jake? Reba!

Good Lord, do you really think this is the right time to have another baby?

I'm going to sell real estate.

Yeah, yeah, I do remember that.

I also remember that you had a hard time getting a real estate job because you

didn't have any experience selling.

Right. But this time, I'm going to avoid that problem by selling something

first. Well, how in the world are you going to do that?

Where are you going to find some poor sap to let you sell his property without

any experience?

Well, do y 'all still have that condo that Brock was living in during the

separation?

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Say hello to your new realtor.

Me. Say hello to me.

Oh, my gosh. This is a brilliant idea.

You can be Reba the Realtor.

Or, in Espanol, Reba la Realtor.

You don't need that place anymore, and Barb Jean's been bugging you about

getting rid of it. Come on, give me a shot at selling it. I love this idea.

Reba can hold the open house, and we'll get a discount on the commission.

Everybody wins.

Well, wait a minute. I didn't say Reba Kayete.

Oh, Vanneker, back. You would not believe how much he complained about

her to that club.

Van, are you okay?

Oh, how is the band?

It was awesome.

It was?

Kira was amazing.

When she first stepped up to the mic, she was a little quiet, and I thought,

-oh, joke.

But then she smiled and lit up the stage.

Wait a minute.

Kira smiled?

And lit up the stage? Yes.

And then she was all, hello, Houston, and we were all, hello.

And then she was like, are you ready to rock and roll? And we were like, yeah.

And the band started playing, and Kira started singing, and it was awesome.

We would have won, except there was an all -girl band called the Bikinis.

Guess what they were wearing.

Yeah, but that's not the worst part.

They weren't an all -girl band.

Welcome. Here you go.

Look around.

Cookies are right over there. Make yourself at home.

Hey, Reba.

How's it going? Great. Couldn't be better.

Yeah, I think it could.

Yeah.

Which is why I'm here to help.

Guess what you don't know about me?

That you're actually two crazy people, one on top of the other? Ha!

Growing up, my daddy owned a used car lot. And every day after school, I would

stand out front wearing a bear suit and holding a giant red arrow.

I brought in twice as many customers as those creepy blow -up dolls.

You know, with... Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. I get it.

Barb Jean, look, I don't think I...

I'm not Barbara Jean.

I'm an interested customer going room to room, talking the place up. Okay?

Watch and learn.

the big blonde balloon lady.

Well,

keep up the... Ooh, cookies.

Hey, I got some great news. I was going to tell your wife, but she's nuts.

I got an offer.

Really? A good one? I think it's a good one. I mean, it's not what you were

asking, but it's... No, I'm not interested.

You didn't let me finish.

Well, is it more than what I'm asking? No, but you're not going to get me. Then

I'm not interested.

Brock! Oh, Reba, come on.

I hired you to sell the place, not give it away.

Look. Anyone can get less money. A good salesperson can actually get more.

See, this is why I wanted a professional.

What you want is to get off my last nerve.

You're asking too much, and that was a good offer.

So I'm hearing that you are not a good salesperson. So I'm hearing you're a

monkey's butt.

I'm sorry, what'd you say? Well, maybe you'd been able to hear me if there were

ears on a monkey's butt.

Okay, why don't you call me that just one more time? Don't you tell me what to

do, monkey's butt. All right, that's it.

You're fired.

Oh, fine.

You know the three rules of real estate?

Don't work for a monkey's butt. Don't work for a monkey's butt. Don't work...

going in. Shouldn't you be there?

Nope. Your dad fired me.

What? What happened?

I had him a great offer, but your father was too stupid to accept it. And after

I told him so repeatedly, he fired me.

You just can't work with some people.

So you argued with him?

Well, honey, sometimes you have to argue with them.

Otherwise, they'll go on thinking they're right.

I can't believe the luck I've had this week. Well, did you ever think that

it wasn't luck? Maybe it's you.

for you, Elizabeth, this year.

So Grandma can't use her big people words.

Do you remember what you told me when I told you all the teachers at school were

picking on me?

Good for them?

No.

You said, before I go blaming other people, I should take a look in the

Cheyenne, have you been waiting three years for this moment?

Yes. Doesn't feel too good, does it?

Okay, it's nap time for Elizabeth.

Barbara Jean, you're not bringing me another pity pie, are you? No.

It's a quiche.

In quiche, you're feeling down.

Barbara Jean, I don't need a quiche. I don't need a pie.

I just need to be alone.

I understand.

Thank you.

Oh, Reba.

You just need... I want you to know that your being fired was not your fault.

Maybe it was.

Maybe Cheyenne's right.

It didn't matter that that was a good offer. I should have kept my mouth shut.

But it was a good offer.

Exactly. But I couldn't get him to see it. And that's my job as a realtor, to

present it in the way that he can accept it.

Maybe I wouldn't cut out for this.

Reba, he wouldn't have accepted that offer no matter what it was.

He's never going to sell it. Don't you get it?

That's his bachelor pad.

Little cave he can scamper off to whenever things get a little rocky at

Margie, that can't be it. Really?

Well, then why did it take him so long to put it up for sale?

And why did he ask for such an unrealistic sales price?

And why did he hire a completely unqualified amateur to sell the place?

Why didn't I just stop at a bar?

And let's face it, Reba.

He is still not committed to our marriage.

Margie, I don't think that's what it is. Well, what else could it be? Off the

top of my head, he's cheap, greedy, and stupid.

Yeah, but he was all of those things even when our marriage was good.

Yeah, you're right. He was all those things when our marriage was good.

There's something...

else, and I'm going to find out what it is. Well, how would you know how to do

that? Hey, it's my job to know. I'm a realtor.

In case you didn't know.

Kira enters from stage right.

No.

Kira enters from stage left.

No.

Kira descends from the sky.

You guys have only been practicing for three hours.

Actually, we were thinking about hitting a movie. What?

No, movie.

Guys, don't you realize that there are millions of kids out there trying to

your place on MTV?

I want you to go out there and play until your fingers bleed.

I'll be out in a minute.

Goldberg, Goldberg, I want to hear those drums sing, man.

Love you.

I'm sorry it comes down so hard on the boys, but rock means hard work.

Until we get on the bus, then it's party time.

Look, Van, I think I'm going to quit the band.

I just don't know if this is what I want.

What are you talking about?

Kira, I've seen you up on stage. You deserve to be up there. You deserve to

descend from the sky.

Now, what's going on? It's the guys.

Are they jealous?

Because they can be replaced, you know.

Every long -haired slacker failing math wants to be in a band.

It is the guys, but it's not me they have a problem with.

It's you.

I'm sorry?

They think you're cramping our style.

We started playing music because we love it, but you're just turning it into a

job.

They really want me gone?

I should have seen this coming, especially when you guys wrote that

Lost Van.

Well, anyway, I told them if you go, I go.

Kira, this is your dream.

And you need to hold on to this with every fiber of your being.

Tell the guys I'm gone.

You sure?

Yeah, yeah. I should probably start hanging out with my wife.

Thanks for believing in me.

Thanks for being willing to quit the band.

Yeah, like I was really gonna quit the band.

These are the comps that show I got a better offer than any condo in this

Yeah, better.

You should have listened to me. Should have listened.

Barbara Jean, I'm telling it. She's telling it.

I don't care what anyone else got. If I don't like the offer, I don't have to

take it.

But I like the offer, and I want to take it. Yeah, she wants to take it. Reba,

I'm telling it.

Honey, look, I don't think you understand what's going on here.

Oh, I think I do.

You don't want to sell your bachelor pad, do you, slick?

Why in the world would I need a bachelor pad? I'm married.

Well, then why?

I... Don't know if I can explain it. Well, you better explain it. Otherwise,

Barbara Jean and I aren't going to give you a moment's peace.

Why, Brock? Why, Brock? Why, Brock? Why, Brock? Why, Brock? All right, all

right. Wow.

We're broke.

What?

We owe more on the condo than it's worth, all right?

When I started golfing professionally, I...

I needed some extra income, so I took out a second mortgage on the place. You

know, I figured I'd start paying it back when I started winning and stop looking

at me like that. It's very easy to judge in hindsight.

Well, if this ain't a Shinola sandwich.

Honey, you should have told me.

It's only money.

We can survive this as long as we're not broke.

Barbara Jean, we are out of money.

Oh, for Pete's sake.

She means it's a metaphor of your love. Yeah.

Whatever, we're still broke. Stop! Anyway, until we can come up with enough

money to cover the cost of the loan, we can't sell the condo. Okay, I'm sorry,

Reba. I never should have put you through all that.

No, it's all right. It's mostly my fault.

I should have shot you when I caught you cheating on me.

Hey, guess what, guys?

I've got great news.

We do have the money.

What? Uh -huh. When I thought we were getting a divorce, I started hiding some

of our assets.

You were stealing money from me?

No.

I was protecting money from you.

And you're welcome.

That's brilliant.

Why didn't I do that?

Well, exactly how much money did you protect from me?

Well, exactly how much do we need?

Twenty... five thousand?

Oh, my gosh! What a coincidence!

Oh, wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Does that mean that you're going to take the offer?

Well, we're going to have to have a little talk, but yes, I think it does.

yes, I'm looking for a sale.

Hey, you guys don't want to sell your other house, do you? Move far away.

Oh, Reba, you are such a kidder.

No, I'm serious.

I'd find somebody to buy it. Heck, if I had the money, I'd buy it myself.

How much do you need?