Original subtitles

All right, you guys, Mom's going to be home any minute. Who is going to tell

that we're having Thanksgiving dinner at Barbara Jean's?

I'm not telling her. I'm the smart one.

I've got the most value to humanity.

Well, I'm the prettiest.

And what does that have to do with anything?

Nothing. I just like saying it.

Well, first of all, I'm the prettiest.

And secondly, I'm the one who said yes to Barbara Jean, so you should be the

to tell your mom. Yeah, that is another thing, Ben. Why would you say yes to

Barbara Jean? You know Mom is going to freak out. I live in the moment.

Some of them are good. Some of them are bad.

Hey, guys.

This is going to be one of the bad ones.

Hey, I got the biggest turkey I could find. The only one bigger than this came

with a saddle.

This is a lot of groceries. This must have cost a fortune.

Well, you can't put a price on family being together, but if you did, it would

come to $214 .67.

Mom, this just seems like a huge burden. I mean, you're going to have to spend

hours cooking and cleaning some holiday.

Yeah, wouldn't it be great to have Thanksgiving? Just no family, no food,

fuss. Just easy.

Wouldn't that be great?

Okay, what's going on?

They want to have Thanksgiving dinner over at Barbara Jean's.

I guess I'm the only one who loves you, Mommy.

So you want to eat over there, huh?

Well, just for Thanksgiving, not every day.

Barbara Jean wants to have a special day because she and Dad are trying to work

things out. She just wants to have a lot of family around.

Please, Mom.

Okay.

What? Okay.

You could go.

You're not mad at us? No.

You mean you're not going to get all fiery and start ranting and raving and

me to go cut myself a switch from the licking tree?

No. If you won't eat dinner over there, I can't stop you.

And frankly, it would be a relief.

I mean, after every meal, Van stands up and says, Van won.

Turkey zero.

You know, I'll have to hear that.

Have a great Thanksgiving.

Okay.

Barbara Jean? Yeah, Reba.

Get your Thanksgiving stealing butt over here right now and bring a branch from

the whipping tree.

Hey!

My roots are planted in the past Though my life is changing fast Who I am is

who I want to be A single mom who works too hard Who loves her

kids and never stops With gentle hands

here until she's sure you're not going to hurt her.

It'll be worse if I have to chase her.

Barbara Jean, it's okay.

If you're saying that against your will, cough twice.

Honey, honey, just come on in here.

The neighbor saw me come in.

You better see me come out.

Here's the deal.

My kids always have Thanksgiving dinner with me. And since I don't think I

should be the bad guy, you get to go in there and tell them the deal's off. Go

on, have fun.

Leva, don't you try and bully her. I'm not trying, I am.

You need to explain to the children that you got your daddies mixed up. I don't

want to.

Bullies don't care what you want. Go on, get in there.

You can stop that.

Okay, guys.

Barbara Jean has some really sad news she wants to tell you.

Come on, Barbara Jean, tell them.

Yes, I know it's painful, Brock. Maybe you should tell them. Well, you see,

kids, I've always been attracted to angry women. I'm not angry. The thing

Reba wants me to tell you you can't come over for Thanksgiving even though I

really want you there.

Barbara Jean!

Well, I'm not going to give up that easily.

I didn't kill that bird for nothing.

Mom?

Hey, don't look at me. That's not what she said in the kitchen.

Good Lord, Barbara Jean, get your story straight.

Can we talk to you in the kitchen for a second?

Sure, sure.

I'm sure we'll be able to work out something.

Look,

just for the record...

I never laid a finger on her. Mrs. H., we know you're upset, but listen and pay

attention here.

Cheyenne, you talk.

Okay, look, Mom, we have spent every Thanksgiving with you, and this is

important to Barbara Jean.

It's important to me, too.

Honey, as the years go by, you kids are going to be going your separate ways,

which means I have a limited number of holidays left.

I just want to keep my family with me as long as I possibly can.

Oh, my gosh.

We didn't think about it like that.

Yeah, we just thought you were being comically petty.

Well, I'm not.

And it would mean a lot to me if you guys would hold on to our tradition a

little longer and have Thanksgiving over here.

But we already promised Barbara Jean.

Hey, can we invite Dad and Barbara Jean and Henry over here?

Oh, I would, but family tradition dictates no.

Well, clearly we kids have gotten you into another scrape.

But it just seems like the only solution, Mrs. H.

Think about it.

The second word in Thanksgiving is giving.

So give us dinner.

With them.

Thanks.

It's hard to argue with that, whatever that was.

But it's obvious that this is very important to you.

Yeah. So fine. Yeah! I'll invite you. Oh, Mom, thank you, thank you, thank

thank you.

Dad, Barbara Jean, Mom has something to ask you.

I understand if you don't want to, but if you guys do want to do this, you

come over for Thanksgiving.

Wow. Yeah, that's what I thought.

Reba?

Oh, my. You really want all of us to come over here and eat with you?

Sure.

That is so lovely.

But I'm going to have to say no.

What? Yeah, I can't this year, but really, super thanks.

Oh, wait a second.

You don't say no to me. I say no to you.

Well, if anyone is going anywhere, you're coming over to my house for

Thanksgiving. Wow.

You don't invite me. I invite you. Oh, you are so invited. No, you are. And

I too. And not.

And not. Ladies, ladies, Thanksgiving is not about where you eat. It's about

what you eat and how much of it.

Yes, and you guys are going to have to work this out because we want to have

Thanksgiving with everyone that we love.

Yeah, and if you can't work it out and be happy, then you know what?

We're going to have pizza for Thanksgiving.

We'll do it because Van likes pizza and I got coupons.

And that will be the tradition Elizabeth remembers.

Pepperoni and sausage on a tear -stained crust.

You guys need to work it out, okay?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've made myself hungry. Okay.

I say we do the pizza thing and go our separate ways.

We have nine people. My table's bigger. We should have it over here. No way.

You're mean to me. Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet. Okay, okay, all right, all

right. Guys, whoa, whoa, whoa. Look, we can do this, all right?

We're the adults, and I, for one, want to set an example for the kids.

An example?

What, Van's going to knock up Barbara Jean? Okay.

What I was going to say was Reba has a

point. Okay?

She has the bigger kitchen and more room. It just makes sense to do the

here.

Fine.

But if we're going to have it over here, I get to cook. You?

You're not cooking. You're going to be out in the yard shucking the corn. No.

Look, the turkey.

The turkey? Oh, no.

The turkey's the headliner.

If Thanksgiving was a concert, the turkey would be Cher.

Okay, so you want to have it at your house, and you want Cher?

That's right. I got turkey, babe.

I can't talk to her.

All right, Reba, look.

Barbara Jean agreed to do it over here. I think you should let her do the

cooking.

I want to cook, and I want to have it open here, and I don't want her in the

yard shucking.

I cook, or we don't come.

Oh, please, Reba.

Do it for our children.

Remember the sweet ones who were blackmailing us?

Fine.

But if she puts her hand up the turkey and does that puppet show, the deal's

off.

You sit back, relax.

Oh, son of a pickle for a fumble.

Hey, I got five bucks on this game.

Y 'all smell anything?

Sorry.

I'm in from the

kitchen. We should be smelling something by now.

Thanksgiving is all about timing.

I mean, she should be preparing the vegetables. The turkey should be in the

oven. And right about now, I'd be bringing in artichoke dip.

Artichoke dip?

Mm -hmm.

The tradition is French onion dip. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, darling.

Can't be the one to hurt your feelings, but you're dealing with a pretty fussy

crowd here.

Oh.

Barbara Jean, this dip is delicious.

And I usually don't like the...

Thanks for that, Van.

Now make sure y 'all save room for my twice -baked potatoes.

Twice -baked? Why don't you bake them right the first time?

Hey, you guys, do you think this is enough leaves for our centerpiece?

I really want it to be as good as last year. Oh, that's going to be hard,

because last year it was really good. Are those yard clipping?

No, this is our traditional Thanksgiving centerpiece.

Right.

Leaves are dirty.

That's why God put them in trees.

Those aren't just sleeves. There's an old Doritos bag in there, too.

Well, this year, our place settings will each have their own centerpiece.

Your own individual gourd embossed with your name.

I'd like to emboss her gourd.

Margie, we need to talk.

What are you listening to?

Oh, Thanksgiving music.

K -Tribe.

K -Tribe?

All Navajo?

All the time.

Hey, hey, we were listening to that.

Margie, I need something to do. I'm going crazy in there.

Well, you could get a ladder.

And get off my back.

Oh, I put some ginger in the yams. Oh, no, I put brown sugar in the yams. Makes

them sweeter.

Then the yams will taste the same as the carrots. Oh, no, we better call the

food police.

I'm just saying, we want a variety of flavors.

Reba, I know what I'm doing.

Fine.

I'm taking the ginger with me.

Reba, with all due respect, I'm this close to putting your gourd on the

table.

Drop it. Give it.

Now run him back into the living room so I can get back to work.

Okay? There you go.

Get a little hip -hoppy. Okay, yeah.

All right, guys, help me out here. Is this really Thanksgiving?

I mean, because with the gourds and the artichoke dip and the dip doing the

cooking, it doesn't feel like it.

Okay, it's Thanksgiving to us, all right? Us on the couch, football on TV.

Your team losing? I'm going to pound you.

Yeah, sure, it feels like that with y 'all because it's your tradition.

Mine's in the kitchen, but I'm not allowed there.

I can't be in here.

I know no place to be.

You know what this reminds me of? This reminds me of those few years when my

mother made Thanksgiving dinner. You remember that?

Oh, Grammy, Lizzie's just about to drive you out of the house. Oh, that's when I

came up with our traditional football game.

Anything to get away from those smells.

I'm sorry, guys. I think it's the dip.

The traditional football game. Guys, when was the last time we played that?

My first year in the family. Remember? You and I beat Mr.

H and your mom here.

Was I on the winning team?

You were too. You were the football.

The only reason you guys beat us was because Reba dropped the winning pass in

the end zone.

I didn't drop it. You threw it high.

We'd love to have a little rematch.

Oh, is that a challenge? Not for us, it's not.

Hey,

guys, I'm a professional football player now. This wouldn't be fair.

Yeah, but Cheyenne's on your team.

Oh, yeah. I call Jake.

Good,

I'll pick you a nice fat one, buddy.

back to Denver, be sure to tell your football buddies that your mother -in

whooped your butt. You let us live here. I let you win.

Oh, yeah.

Thanks for the help, Cheyenne.

You threw the ball right at me.

I'm supposed to.

You do. Don't fight.

It feels like Thanksgiving.

Wait,

wait, wait.

This is my favorite part of Thanksgiving.

When we open that door and we smell the turkey cooking, so on the count of

three, I want everybody to inhale.

One, two, three.

Oh, I drooled a little.

Boy, it smells like dinner's going to be ready real soon, you guys.

Jake, uh -uh, wash your hands first.

Oh, man.

So, then you too.

me. Barbara Jean.

P .S. Don't worry, I'm at my house.

Barbara

Jean,

what are you doing?

Having a carotini.

given traditions, I'm giving up, but I don't want to give up eating.

Where'd y 'all go?

We went to play football.

My team won.

The other team had to eat a bug.

Van gagged a little.

But nobody asked me to come.

You were cooking.

But nobody thought to ask me to come.

Well, I thought about it. Then I decided not to. Feel better?

Reba, if it had been you, there's no way that everybody would just leave.

I mean, if we do something without you, all anyone talks about is how you're not

there. You're this really powerful presence hanging over everything.

You're like Patrick Swayze in Ghost.

What's your point? You're always the center of the family.

And today I just wanted to be the center of the family.

That's why I didn't invite you in the first place.

Barbara Jean, do you know why I'm the center of the family?

They're my family.

Just like when Brock's mom comes into town, she's the center of the family.

she choke on her drambuie.

All right, let me put it to you this way.

Right now in our little world, I'm the turkey and you're the gravy.

But maybe someday when Henry gets a little older, maybe he has a little

or sister, you'll be the turkey.

Well, where will you be then?

God willing, far, far away.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for this blessing we're about to receive.

Thank you so much for taking care of our family and keeping them healthy and

safe. You've been so sweet to us this year.

Thank you for the wonderful food that we're about to eat and for this

turkey.

And also for the gravy.

Amen.