Original subtitles

Oh, Jake, did you make me breakfast?

Do I look like I know how to poach an egg?

It was Dad.

Whose dad?

Your dad?

Good morning, Reba. Would you like the living section?

That depends.

Is there a story in there that explains what the heck you're doing here?

Jake asked me to come over early so we could dig for worms.

Is that true, Jake?

No.

My fellow's asleep watching movies on the couch last night. You slept here?

Jake, we worked on the worm story for 20 minutes.

Dude, she's my mom.

Look, Bob, you just can't hang out here anymore.

Now, when you get through making my toast, you can go home.

Hey, sweetie, what time's Van coming in from Denver?

I don't know.

Sometime, I guess.

Well, honey, what'd he say when you talked to him? Oh, we haven't talked

Every time he calls, he gets the answering machine. Every time I call, I

up. And frankly, if he wanted to talk to me, he wouldn't have moved to stupid

Denver. Are you still mad about him leaving?

No.

Stupid Denver, stupid Colorado.

Cheyenne, honey, listen to me. He had to go, okay? Van is a professional

football player, and he got traded. It happens sometimes.

I understand that.

Just like you understood when we brought Kira home and you kept trying to give

her away?

I was here first.

Honey, Van's been gone for a whole week. Do you have any idea how much he's

looking forward to seeing you and Elizabeth? Yeah, right.

You think he is? Of course he is.

I bet he's miserable up there because he misses you so much.

Heck, if you met him in those radio sweats, I bet he wouldn't even notice.

that's right.

But seriously, I'd shower.

Honey, look, you guys only have two days together.

That's it.

Don't lose them because you're still mad over something he has no control over.

Maybe you're right. I mean, Ben doesn't want to be in Denver any more than I

want him to be there.

And plus, you might bring me a present.

Oh, thanks,

guys. Love you. We love you too, sweetheart.

Thanks for helping out with that.

You didn't need any help.

You're a great mom, Reva.

Yeah, well, you're a great dad, too. You always were.

Well, thank you. No, thank you. Now go home.

In the heart of a fighter I'm a survivor

Okay,

good, good. A little bit more.

Go ahead.

Good job.

All right, Jake. What have we learned so far?

Always tighten to the right and it's not swearing if you use different words.

What are you guys doing now?

Man's work, little missy.

Man's work, huh?

Batman is on.

Okay,

okay, okay.

I'm not just hanging out. I have a reason for being here this time. I am

the thing.

It's not broken.

It is now.

Brock. Okay.

Okay, it's just that condo's so quiet.

Strange as it sounds, after the chaos of a big family, I just, I miss the noise

and the mess.

And somebody doing your laundry?

What? How did those get in there?

Look, Rock, we're divorced.

Legally, your clothes can't be tumbling around with my clothes anymore.

Just need to find someplace else to hang out.

Hi, Reba. Hey.

Hi, Brock.

I didn't know you were over here.

Actually, I'm just leaving.

I'll see you in couples therapy later, okay? Okay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What about my strength?

Reba, I can't be hanging out here all day.

So, Barbara Jean, how's the therapy going with you and Brock?

Good. Yeah, good.

Our therapist has a bold approach.

The first issue we're tackling is our scariest one.

Yeah, what's that? You.

Me?

Problemo numero uno.

What? You're blaming all your problems on me and therapy? No, but our therapist

is. Yeah. Oh, he's very good.

And you know what? He'd like to speak with you.

He thinks it might be a good idea to get your perspective on things.

Oh, no. I'm not getting involved in this. When you said, I do, I said, I

have to anymore.

Dr. Baker said you'd hide behind humor.

You know what? I'm getting sick and tired of his snap judgments. Oh, they're

snap judgments.

We talk about you all the time.

So far, we've determined that you're controlling and manipulative.

Oh, and did you know he guessed you had red hair before we told him?

You know, the only thing I think he might be wrong about is he says that

your divorce, you haven't moved on.

I haven't moved on? Yes, since your divorce.

You're spinning your wheels, if you will.

You know what? I changed my mind.

There is nothing I'd like more than to go have a little chit -chat with Dr.

Loopy. Dr. Baker says name -calling is the refuge of a weak argument.

Yeah, he just said that because he's a bonehead.

Oh, thank you so much for babysitting, Kara. How's it going?

It's an exercise in humiliation.

Here's making Elizabeth and me watch The Wiggles.

I have Barney tapes.

Why can't I just hang out down here and wait for Van?

Because Van and I have had a long, lonely week without each other, and we

time to talk.

You guys, there's a pretty good chance that when he sees me, he's going to cry.

And I don't want Elizabeth seeing Daddy acting like Mommy.

Van's going to cry?

He's such a girl.

And yet all he wants to do is play with my makeup.

idea, Cheyenne.

When I got to Denver, I was so stressed out. I didn't know where to go. I didn't

know what to do.

Oh, honey.

No, I mean, I literally didn't know where to go.

Nobody from the team met me at the airport.

Let it out. Let it out. So I finally took a cab to the apartment they got for

me. Baby, don't talk about it if it's too painful.

It rocks.

It's like the coolest place I've ever lived.

top -of -line stereo, oh, and a phone in the bathroom.

I've ordered a pizza from the tub.

Well, at least you have a nice place to be lonely in. Oh, who has time to be

lonely? Some of the guys from the team who are awesome, by the way, live on the

same floor.

They'd be way awesomer, man, if they had met you at the airport.

No, no, they didn't meet me at the airport because they were setting up a

for me, and oh, man, that was a party.

Did you know a keg of beer can bounce like 20 feet when you drop it off a

balcony? Yeah.

My buddy Weasel says it's because the air is thin.

You have a friend named Weasel? Oh, yeah, he is the coolest. He can put a

-pong paddle in his mouth.

He's gonna teach me.

Well, I'm sorry that you had to leave your awesome apartment and your awesome

friends are gonna put ping -pong paddles in their mouth to come home.

What's the matter? Gee, I don't know, Van. I mean, if everything's so great

you at Denver, I hate to rain on your parade by standing here all dressed up

with a box of tissues waiting for you to cry.

Stop!

Wait a minute, Shane. Come back. If you want me to cry, I'll tell you what the

cake of beer is.

Now, remember, you don't expect a broken arm to heal overnight. Neither will a

broken relationship.

Yes, but if you do have a broken arm, you don't blame it on the ex -wife.

Unless she actually did break your arm.

I was just guessing.

You must be the heckler I ordered for the waiting room.

No, I'm Reba Hart, Brock's ex -wife.

Red hair, clenched fists. I should have known.

Barbara Jean said you wanted to talk to me. Yeah, great. Have a seat. Brock and

Barbara Jean will be here in about 15 minutes.

I'll be gone by then.

Look, you shouldn't be talking about me in their therapy. They have scarier

issues than me.

I mean, they have a Star Wars bedspread. Start with that.

You're right. And that's why I asked you to come down here. So you could tell me

how to do it right. And thank you, Reba. You've made me a better doctor.

Are you gonna talk about this seriously?

No. In fact, I am not going to talk about how to conduct their therapy at

Okay, then. If you're not gonna talk, then you're gonna listen.

Because as a divorced woman, I might know something about marriage that they

didn't teach you in Harvard and Yale.

Number one, nobody likes a show -off.

And number two?

Number two, I have moved on since my divorce.

Matter of fact, I have moved so far past on that I'm lapping it for the second

time. And you're seeing somebody.

None of your beeswax.

Just hurry up and get Brock back with Barbara Jean. I'm tired of him making my

breakfast and fixing my things that isn't even broken. I want him out of my

house and out of my life.

Bye! What are you doing here? What am I doing here? What are you doing here?

Well, he's my therapist.

Okay, then, get out of my way. Yeah, wait, wait.

Now, Brock, you never told me you were spending so much time at your ex -wife's

house. Yeah.

Because I knew you'd look at me like that.

Stop it.

All right, I'll turn my look to Reba.

Reba, what's going on?

Yeah, Reba, what's going on?

All right, then.

Sometimes I hear voices.

Horrible, horrible voices.

Reba, for crying out loud.

That's one of them. Did you hear that?

be dizzy all the time.

Go ahead, Kira.

Ask me another Denver question.

Can I take off the hat? Do you want your 20 bucks? Come on, keep them coming.

So, what's better in Denver, the water or the air?

The air.

No, the water.

Oh, and the soil.

So clean you could eat off it.

Now can I take off the hat?

You know, Kira, everyone in Denver wears them.

They do not.

Yes, but they used to back in the day.

So anyway, the air, the water, the sun, it all sucks.

Denver's horrible.

Why don't you take these hats and go outside and frighten the squirrels?

So are you still mad about something that I don't understand?

Let me clarify.

Mom and Dad said you'd be all miserable in Denver, and that made me happy.

But it turns out you're happy in Denver, and that made me sad.

You get it?

I think so.

You want me to be miserable. Yes!

Vivian! I'm your wife, okay? It is important to me that you are miserable.

At least when you are not with me.

Well, that's kind of weird, Cheyenne.

We need to learn to be happy without each other. I mean, what if you died?

Wouldn't you want me to be happy?

No. Well, if I were about to die, my very last thought would be that I would

want you to be happy.

Right after, why doesn't anybody know the Heimlich?

Because that's the way I'm going to go, Cheyenne. There's just some food too

good to chew.

You know what?

Forget it, man. You're right. You don't understand.

Did I tell you about the old guy on the plane?

What old guy?

The guy sitting next to me. He slept most of the flight, but then woke up

the movie and started talking to me. Would you talk to him about that? How

could put a ping -pong paddle in your mouth? Cheyenne, think.

You can't bring a ping -pong paddle on a plane these days.

No, we talked about love.

Love? Yeah, love.

He was one of those wise old guys. Really old, like 40.

Been married for 20 years.

That is a long time.

20 years ago, I was like zero.

So anyway, I guess he's away a lot with his job and everything, and I asked him

if it was tough for him being married.

You asked him that? And what did he say?

He said this.

Immature love is wanting the other person to be happy only when they're

you.

Mature love is wanting the other person to be happy, period.

That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Well, maybe not for an old guy. Maybe not for someone who's been married for

years. Well, Dan, we are not old, okay? And we haven't been married for 20

years. I know, but we will be someday.

And then we'll have to say this kind of hoo -ha to Elizabeth.

Because you know it's true.

I miss you. I miss you so much. I miss you, too.

I thought you were going to bring me a present.

Oh, I did.

These will work on any airliner.

Oh, and I got your mom the cutest little bag of peanuts.

You can't hear me, can you? No.

It doesn't work that way.

wrote my mother's favorite rod and reel, my daddy made me stand in the corner

for two hours as punishment, which, I guess, is why I have a problem with

authority. This is fascinating!

Oh, yeah.

Now, about your current relationship with Brock. Oh, wait a minute. I'm not

through talking about my daddy yet.

You see why we got divorced?

She never wanted to talk about our relationship.

That was you, you moron.

Well, I want to talk about it now.

We don't...

a relationship now.

And yet here you are. Why are you here?

Well, if I yelled at you on the phone, you could hang up.

So you're here because of our relationship?

Well, you gotta admit, it needs work.

You know, if you spent less time joking around and more time on getting people

back together, I wouldn't have to come home and find my husband fixing my sink.

You mean your ex -husband?

Okay. Ha ha ha.

Point for you.

You're the therapist. You know what I meant.

You know, for someone who's moved so far past on, that's a strange slip.

Not so strange when he's practically living at my house. You had to be with

kids. They're not the only ones living there.

Well, I didn't know it was such a big deal. How could you not know?

Do you think I like sitting at an extra place at the dinner table? Or dropping

everything because you guys need a fourth for Pictionary? Or I have to sit

and watch your victory dance because your team won because I got stuck with

Jake?

Sorry. I thought we were getting along pretty well.

We were.

Then what's the problem? That's the problem.

Go on.

I don't want to get along that well.

Not after you told me you made a mistake after you left me.

You told me that door was closed.

Well, there shouldn't even be a door.

There should be a brick wall with a big old fence around it.

Whatever. it takes to keep you out of my living room, so I don't have to think

about how it was when we were together, and it was so good.

Oh.

But there is a door, and it'll never be truly closed until you and Barbara Jean

get back together.

Reba, I hate to tell you this, but open or closed, if there's a door, it's going

to be there whether Barbara Jean is in the picture or not.

You know what? I just want to get out of here.

One last question.

Do you two still love each other?

Knock, knock, Doc.

Sorry I'm so late.

Oh, Reba, good, you're still here.

Let's gang up on Brock.

That's the other voice.

Reba. Reba.

If you want, you can call me anytime.

No, I'm finished here.

Just get those two back together.

Oh, and if I owe you anything for this, just bill them.