Original subtitles

Good morning, Mom.

I notice anything different about me?

Please tell me you're not pregnant again.

This Saturday, I am turning 21, which means I will finally be an adult. Oh,

baby daughter will be so glad to hear it.

Today is day one of my birthday week, or as I like to call it, Cheyennapalooza.

How could you, Reba?

What are you talking about?

I told you, Barbara Jean, it was my idea to go back on medication.

Look, Barbara Jean, yeah.

I do think Brock should stay on antidepressants. How could you say that?

I think it's good for him.

Just like I think he should eat broccoli, jog every day, and take his

Paris. And leave her there.

Well, he's my husband, and I say he shouldn't be taking antidepressants.

And if anyone deserves to go to Paris, it's you.

What have you got? against antidepressants. Oh, shh.

Do you mind? Do we have to tell the entire world that I'm taking... You

It's just... Well, I haven't told the kids yet. You know, I haven't figured

the right way.

Look at Laura Brock. You're going to tell the kids?

Why not, Barbara Jean? There's no shame in it.

Unlike the rest of his life.

Why don't you just tell the kids, big chicken? Oh, you mean like you did when

you were taking them?

What?

You take happy pills?

the evidence you need to know they don't work.

And the fact that you're still alive is proof that they do work.

Look, I was only on them for a little while. It was a long time ago.

To tell you the truth, Brock, I wish I had told the kids.

Reba, I warned you.

If you didn't stay out of my marriage, I would never speak to you again.

Here. What's this?

It's a goodbye card.

I was afraid this wasn't going to go well.

So, goodbye, Reba.

And those are the last words you're ever going to hear from me.

Oh, really?

You know, I thought the last words would be, Reba, this soup tastes funny.

Ha.

Ha.

Okay, those are my last words.

And since my last words were ha and ha,

I also got the last laugh.

And now, I'll lock my lips and throw away the key.

This is great.

She's serious, Reva.

Now what am I going to tell the kids when they want to know why you two

speaking? Not now, Brock. I've got to find that key and bury it.

Hey!

Pirates are playing.

Changing fact, who I am is who I want to be.

A single mom who works too hard, who loves her kids and never stops with

hands.

what she wants for her birthday?

What are you, nine?

Women never tell you what they want.

You're supposed to know them well enough to know what they want. They expect you

to pay attention and show effort.

It's horrible and exhausting.

If I can't ask, how can I find out?

Oh, tiny, simple Jake.

They drop hints, you get clues, you listen. That's how I knew to get

snowboard.

know how to snowboard? It doesn't matter!

The other night, we were talking about fishing, and then one thing leads to

another, and the subject goes to snow. Don't ask me how.

So for half an hour, we're talking about snow, and then suddenly, Cheyenne says

she's bored.

No.

Bored!

Bingo!

I got the idea for the perfect gift.

Oh, hi, honey!

How was your birthday week shopping spree?

Frustrating.

Shine won't tell me what she won't. Oh, really?

We saw lots of great stuff.

How about that snowboard? No.

Yeah. What?

Yeah.

That's like the worst present ever.

I hate snowboarding.

Yeah, you know what I do want, though, is I want a girl's night out. Just the

ladies of the family, legally drinking, talking about me.

out with your mom? Mm -hmm. And none of my friends are old enough, so it's just

going to be me, you, and Barbara Jean.

Barbara Jean?

Can it be any Barbara Jean?

Because it can't be the Barbara Jean that your dad's married to.

Look, Mom, I don't know what you two are fighting about, but you better get over

it by this weekend.

It's my birthday.

It's supposed to be a thief and a pig.

You do know you weren't born in a manger, right?

Too bad, Mom.

You know, I really did want Barbara Jean to be there.

But I know you'd do it if you could.

After all, you are my mommy.

You love me.

And I only turned 21 once.

It must have just been the wind.

Very cute.

Oh, as cute as the message on your answering machine.

Hi, this is Reba. Wait for the beep, then go jump in the creek.

Beep.

Barbara Jean, this thing's gotten way out of hand.

No, Reba, this is big.

This isn't like our dispute over the talents of Mr. Keanu Reeves.

So unless you're here to say you're sorry, I don't want to hear it.

Look, I came over here to just say... I'm sorry?

No. I was going to say. Oh, still not hearing. I'm sorry.

Barbara Jean.

Reba, this is serious.

You undermined my marriage. You had no right to butt in.

Wait. I undermined your marriage? I had no right to butt in? Yeah. And stop

copying me. Oh.

I had the decency to allow you into my life.

And this is how you treat me?

Up until now. Do you know what I've been to you? Oh, yeah.

Oh, you know what? What? You can kiss my X, Y feet.

Yeah, oh, yeah. I said feet, but you know what I mean.

What are you and Mom fighting about now? What are we fighting about?

Why don't you ask your father what we're fighting about?

I'll tell you what they're fighting about. The same thing they're always

fighting about.

Keanu Reeves.

I think I'm just going to go upstairs and watch Bill and Ted's Excellent

Adventure.

It's excellent.

Gee, I love when something weird is going on and everyone pretends it's

There's nothing weird going on. It's fine.

All right, Kira, wait.

Actually, there is something I want to talk to you about.

Here, why don't we sit down?

Boy, we don't do this very much.

Sit.

Talk. I think this is why.

Honey, honey, wait.

You know, sometimes when we're struggling in life, we don't tell

I get that because we think it'll make us appear to be stronger.

Oh.

I know what this is about, Dad.

You do?

Oh, wow, that's great. You know, I kept trying to figure out some way to bring

it up.

It's about Scott, isn't it?

Scott?

I guess I thought that if I pretended it doesn't hurt that he dumped me, it

wouldn't.

Scott dumped you?

I mean, I knew that you guys broke up. I just, you know, you guys call it being

dumped.

Yeah, we do.

I've just been so depressed.

You know, see, Kara, here's the thing.

Boy, life can be hard.

That's why you have to keep your chin up, you know?

Keep my chin up?

Yeah, right. I mean, we all have to.

We all have to. You can't let it get you down. See, you got to be stronger than

the nonsense that life throws at you.

Okay.

Well, there you go.

Thanks a lot.

Anytime.

Wow.

We finished that one fast.

You finished my birthday?

I only had one sip.

Hey, bartender, can we get another one of these?

21 over here. I was drinking a little bit more because you need to take it

This is your first time drinking.

You're right, Mom.

You're right.

I should take it slow.

Thank you.

Oh,

this is fun.

Girls Not Out is really a lot of fun with just two girls.

Of course, if Barbara Jean was here, it'd be two girls and a horse's butt.

Mom, that is the third time we've talked about Barbara Jean. Look, if you're

upset about your fight, we can talk about it. No, no, no, no. It's your

birthday. The only thing I want to talk about is you. Okay.

Hey,

why don't you tell me how cute I was when I was born?

You were so cute.

You know what's not cute?

A horse's butt.

button in.

I'm going to ruin Cheyenneapalooza for everyone.

What was I thinking? What was I thinking? What is this crazy lady want

birthday?

If I get rid of Barbara Jean, does that count as my present?

No.

Thank you.

Okay, fine.

Fine. I will get you whatever you want as long as you tell me specifically.

You get nothing.

So, what do you want?

Are you 21?

I wish I could use another drink by now.

Let's go.

No, no, no. No, what do you want?

Cheyenne, I would love to stay and celebrate your birthday.

But if this is awkward...

The earthquake stops.

Neither of you two are going anywhere. You are going to both sit down and we

going to celebrate my birthday like adults.

The chair is mine.

Well, Reba, are you willing to at least apologize for the sake of Cheyenne's

birthday?

Apologize to you for everything I've done.

And then you can apologize to me for everything you've done. I'll start.

I'm sorry I was ever nice to you.

Okay, here's one.

I'm sorry I thought you were my friend.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm sorry you thought I was ever your friend.

And for that cross -stitch pillow thingy that you made me that says, Barbecue's

friend.

Didn't do anything.

Don't you nudge me.

Well, then you stop nudging me. No nudging on my birthday. You stay out of

Shama's watching a video.

Everything go okay at the bar?

No, and I don't want to talk about it.

So, listen, Van, I want your advice about something.

And, you know, it actually helps that you're not one of my biological kids.

Oh, that's so cool as you think of me as not one of your kids.

Yeah, well, I'm trying to figure out the best way to tell Kira that I'm seeing a

therapist.

A therapist?

You mean like...

Obviously, you've read up on it.

Yes, I've been diagnosed with depression. I'm taking antidepressants.

Oh. Hey, what's that?

Van. That's right, it's me, Van, your friend.

Hey, is Mom here? No, she's still out with Cheyenne.

No, but it's okay.

No one should get sad about that.

For heaven's sake, be upbeat.

What did you have for dinner, Van? Lunatic pills?

Not funny.

Not funny one bit. She didn't mean it.

Okay, Van, well, thanks for your help.

I'm going to talk to Kira, so could you give us a moment?

Sure.

Maybe I should take your belt and your shoelaces off. Get out!

Trying desperately to make sense of that. little scene, but... Nope.

Okay, look.

I'm just gonna say this.

I've been seeing a therapist for depression.

Oh. Yeah.

That's what I was trying to tell you earlier.

But then we got off on that whole Scott thing, and I just figured you wanted to

talk about that.

Yeah. I did.

Well, so that's why I didn't bring it up then.

Because it would have gotten in the way of that whole keep your chin up thing.

Well...

No. It just didn't seem like, you know, it was the right time to start talking

about my problems.

Well, Dad, maybe it would have been the exact right time to do it.

You kind of have this whole pillar of strength thing that isn't always so

helpful all the time.

I thought that, you know, worked for me.

No.

I kind of like the idea that you're a human being with feelings.

Well, I...

Guess I could work on that then.

Cool.

Cool. Hey.

Why do they keep these in the kitchen?

This is fun.

Hey, for my birthday?

Let's go stand outside a water park.

If anybody has a right to be mad here, it's me.

You promised you weren't ever going to speak to me again. I was counting on

that.

I shouldn't be talking to you.

I had talked Brock out of taking those pills. He was cured.

And then along comes, just say yes, Reba, and he can't spin the child -proof

fast enough.

Why is Brock being happy such a threat to you?

Tom, he had to go outside our marriage to be happy.

Reba, I'm in a lose -lose situation.

If the pills work, I'm not the reason he's happy.

And if they don't work, he's just going to keep looking.

Oh, no.

No, you're not going to drag me back into making me feel sorry for you.

idea how devastating it is to feel like I'm losing my husband and his ex -wife?

Dang it.

You're doing it again. Come here.

So does this mean that you don't hate me?

Yeah, but I don't know why.

And I got to know you.

Got to know the kind of person you are.

Kind of like that rat that loved Barbara Jean on a goodbye card.

just fruit and no drink.

Well, there's a lot more than fruit all over the back seat of your mom's car.

All right, honey. Now I got you some aspirin and some water and there's a

bag under your pillow. Okay.

Don't you just love my birthday then?

No.

It's horrible and exhausting.

Cheyenne, what do you want for your birthday?