Original subtitles

Barbara Jean, why do we have to take a communication workshop?

We communicate just fine. Like, remember the other day when I came home and I

asked you how was your day and then you talked for 45 minutes? That's

communication.

Please don't make me do this.

I don't know what you're trying to tell me, but I bet I will after our workshop.

You know, I don't know how we got sucked into this. I mean, we don't have any

problems.

What's that mean?

Oh, you'll find out.

You don't have to have problems to learn how to communicate better.

Dr. Todd teaches you to resolve conflict.

If the cowboys would have had Dr.

Todd, I bet they would have gotten along better with the Indians, and we would

still refer to corn as maize.

Is this about me not taking those salsa dancing lessons?

Because I will.

I'll even wear the tight pants.

Okay, I know what the problem is. Okay, Cheyenne?

Seriously, what's the problem?

Oh, that Dr.

Todd guy called and said he can't make it.

Just kidding.

for letting us do this here.

Oh, and thank you very much for letting me videotape it and selling it online.

Hey,

Reba, what's in the box? Oh, wait, don't tell me.

Let me guess.

Okay, I'm going to need a hint.

It's Kira's stuff. Kira's stuff. Kira's stuff.

I'm going to need another hint.

I finally cleaned out a room.

It was about time that I showed her I'm accepting the fact that she's moved out.

I accepted her decision the second she got off the front porch.

Here's Dr. Todd.

Everybody, act sane.

Hi.

I'm looking for a Barbara Jean and Brick.

I'm Barbara Jean.

And Brickhead's over there.

It's Brock.

Brock with an O.

Oh, I'm sorry. My last patience cried all over my paper.

Hi. Hi. Van?

Mm -hmm? I suppose my wife Cheyenne has told you all about our problems?

Uh, actually, no. But I'm sure we'll be able to get to the bottom of whatever is

bothering you.

Okay.

Wow, this is weird, but I... I kind of feel safe.

Put your hands in the heart.

Thanks for coming over.

I thought it was about time that I gave you this. But that's my stuff.

From my room.

In a box.

In the kitchen.

Your turn.

I can't believe you went through my stuff.

Why are you getting so mad?

If you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you.

Well, what if you tell me, but I promise to keep it to myself?

Sarah? How do we define conflict?

You think this is funny? You think my feelings are a joke?

I know what your feelings are.

You never tell me what's going on.

I didn't plan this, I swear.

Wait, but you should join us. Yeah, I could help, you know.

If you can get her to talk to me, Brick will pay you double.

You can't be serious.

Therapy? You can't be serious. Double?

I'm so fed up, I'll ask anybody for help. But I can't watch you walk away

without knowing what happened. So park it.

Fine, but you can't make me talk. That's right.

Don't say anything, Kira.

I don't feel safe anymore.

Okay, here we go. Kira, have a breakthrough.

Uh, therapy isn't as simple as the kind you see on TV.

Although, if any of you are connected with the television industry, I have got

great idea for a new show.

Look, I just want to say up front, I don't want to do this.

And I'm betting you're the first one to cry.

Okay, for our first exercise, we are going to be sharing the things that

us. Oh, good idea.

Kira, start sharing. Well, no, not so eager, Bieber. I want you to... I want

to pair off with someone other than who you're here with.

Oh, I call Reba. Ow!

And Mr. H. All right, we're good.

I'm not getting stuck with Kira. I want Mom.

I'll kill her before I let you take her.

All right, freeze.

What did we just learn here?

Did I pick the wrong seat?

No, that you're all playing it safe.

You know, sharing should be difficult, maybe even a little painful. That's why

get to pick your partners, all right? So I want to, yes, you with you.

And you...

With you. Oh, no, no, no.

And you with you.

Who made him the boss?

A university in Mexico.

Now, I know we all like to pretend that we don't have any problems, but conflict

resolution only works if we admit that, yeah, there are some things that bother

us. So, even the slightest little resentment.

Bring it up.

This is taking too long.

Tell it to Brick.

Thank you. Here's for you.

Okay, well, I just feel kind of awkward saying bad things about your father to

you. Please. I live with Mom.

Okay. Well, for one thing, he has no sense of romance.

I thought it'd be cute if we got matching name tattoos.

You know, simple, classy tattoos on the butt.

started talking. How can they be so mad?

I can't read Kira's lips with you yakking at me.

I'm supposed to be sharing.

Okay, fine. Let's get this over with.

Tell me everything that bugs you about Barbara Jean.

Actually, this will make it faster. You do one, I'll do one.

Well, to be honest, I don't have a problem with Barbara Jean. In fact, our

is one never -ending slice of bliss.

I know her.

You're right. She's driving me crazy. Like, check this out. The other night...

So what's going on with you and Mrs. H?

Drop it, Van.

But we're supposed to share, Kara.

Okay, then you start. Tell me all you hate about Cheyenne. I don't think so.

not? Because I don't remember everything I say, and you'll make something up.

Okay, fine.

Doesn't matter anyway.

Cheyenne already told me all about your problems.

No, she didn't.

Yes, she did. She said you're easily manipulated.

Oh, yeah?

Well, let me tell you something about Cheyenne.

Look, I love him to death, but every time I tell him to do something, he acts

like he's not even listening.

Who?

Van.

If that's all your dad did, that won't bother me.

Hey, it's my turn.

Hmm. Oh.

Wonder if Ann's telling Kira how it's always your turn.

Because it's not just making the bed. No. It's having to arrange 14 stuffed

animals in a specific order.

And Binky can't be next to Lulu because they have a history.

Which Barbara Jean says is private.

And this is the really sick part.

I want to know what it is.

I didn't realize how much stuff I was keeping inside. You know, it's great to

able to talk to you like this. Yeah, we never could talk about Barbara Jean when

we were married.

So, your turn, Reba.

What's the deal with Kara?

I don't know. I'd love to tell you what's wrong, Brock, but I don't know.

won't tell me.

She just gets mad and storms out.

Then I lie awake all night wondering if she's difficult or if I'm a bad parent.

It's because she's difficult.

So there it is.

That's how I feel.

Now you let me have it.

What you say makes sense. Well, it does to me, Kira.

whole make fun of Van thing.

You must be really upset.

So you want to talk about what's bugging you?

Mom cleaned out my room.

Not fair.

We have to clean our room because apparently she's not our maid.

Yeah, well, it's not my room anymore.

You wouldn't understand.

No, no, no. I think I do.

When I moved out two years ago, my parents did the exact same thing, only

opposite. Van.

No, no, hear me out, hear me out. See, they kept my room the exact way I left

it, and I like that.

I mean, I would have been upset if they turned it into a sewing room or a pub.

Because that would mean that that part of my life was over.

You do understand.

Mom wouldn't turn my room into a pub.

No, I don't think she will.

But that would be really awesome.

Okay, people, it's time for a break. You can all relax and stretch your legs for

a bit.

Or you can come browse through the dining room slash gift shop.

First customer gets a free Dr.

Todd coffee mug.

I'm not saying this is a total waste of time, but I'm getting frustrated.

So either you tell me why my daughter's mad at me, or I'm closing down your gift

shop. Well, it's going to happen.

It's just not soup yet.

It's not a jelly donut either. What's that got to do with it?

Well, it's like I said in my book, Relationship Soup.

We're still adding ingredients.

It has to simmer so all the flavors can combine into a rich...

Delicious broth.

Oh.

Well, while we're waiting, why don't we make ourselves a sandwich with all this

bologna?

All right, there you go.

And just in case, God forbid, it doesn't work out with the brickster, there is

my home phone number.

I wasn't too happy about doing this, but that whole sharing thing was actually

pretty good. I got a lot off my chest. Well, good. Yeah. Good. Then you're

really going to love this next part.

Yeah, what next part? Well, we are going to share with the group what we told

each other.

It's called tattling.

Tattling? You are going to be the first one to cry.

Okay, everybody, it is tattle time.

You know, people say to me, wouldn't it be simpler just to tell the person who's

bothering you what's wrong? Well, I say, simple or stupid.

Stupid.

Yes, it is stupid, because people just get defensive when they hear the same

complaints from the same old person. They just stop listening.

But they will listen.

to a neutral third party, a person who I like to call the Tatler. And the Tatler

is a registered trademark of Dr. Todd, Inc.

Now we're talking.

Okay, Van, you tattled first.

What's stuck in Cure's craw?

Ahem.

Did you graduate from the University of Mexico?

Okay,

let's start with her.

Be honest and truthful. You've got ten seconds.

Well, Cheyenne is worried that Van is lazy.

But I'll tell you who's lazy.

Brock is lazy.

Yeah, yeah. Every morning he gets up, gets the paper, has a cup of coffee

I'm busting my behind with the baby.

I work, Barbara Jean.

Yeah, I know you work.

You work on your short game and your putting and your dirty joke telling.

That's what's bothering Cheyenne.

Okay, let's stick with the exercise, okay? We're supposed to be telling what

other person complained about?

Okay, well, I'm supposed to say what Reba's problem is with Kira, but can I

say this first? You know, it's crazy that Binky and Lulu have a history.

And it's even worse that you won't tell me what it is.

Oh, it's crazy.

Like it's so crazy to want to get matching tattoos.

No, no, it's not crazy if I'm a biker named Spleen and you're my old lady.

Okay, okay, what if we did that and then something happened?

What do you mean?

Like we'd get divorced?

I'm just saying that once you've been divorced, it makes you aware that it's

possible, okay?

Don't you think I know it's possible?

You could leave someone as wonderful as Reba.

You could certainly leave me.

But, honey, I choose hope.

I believe that our love is a love that lasts forever.

And I am willing to put my butt on the line.

Yeah, Brock, you willing to put your butt on the line?

I'm willing.

To buy you a platinum tennis bracelet.

Done. Man,

this guy is good. Fix us next. No, no, no, no, no. We're next. No, no, no, no.

You are still simmering. Now, who wants the title on Van?

Kira. I'm going to get in so much trouble, but then he's going to fix it.

Yeah, Kira, Kira. Put Van in the hot seat.

Well, he said he loves his wife very much and she's perfect.

Liar!

I would never say that. I said Cheyenne's always mad at me and I don't

You do too know why.

You always mess things up on purpose.

Why would I do that?

So I don't ask you to do them anymore.

Oh, I wish I was that smart.

Okay. Well, if you are so innocent, why do you always stop doing things?

You dress up.

Because you changed her when I was done.

Yeah, we put her frolic shirt on with the ducky pants.

And everyone knows they're mortal enemies.

When you correct me, you make me feel like I'm a bad father.

What? Yeah, like when she goes out dressed like that, you're really

of me.

Finn, I am never embarrassed of you. And you've given her tons of opportunities.

Sorry, Van.

From now on, I'm going to let you do everything.

And I'm not even going to lift a finger.

You are a great girl, Cheyenne.

But I get so lucky.

All right.

That's two down, one to go.

Who wants to tattle on the kid?

Okay, everybody pot down.

Here's where brick pays double.

Okay, Van, spill the mystery.

Path. Path?

Path? What do you mean, path? There's no path in soup.

Oh, I think if Kira wants you to know, she'll tell you.

Maybe next workshop.

Oh, grown -ups have so much fun.

I think you're going.

You can't make soup if the noodles are going to get ticked off and leave.

I've had enough Dr. Todd for one night. Oh, no. We're going to finish this.

Okay, you want to know what I said to your dad after he stopped whining about

Barbara Jean's stuffed toys?

You don't have to tell me, Mom. I already know what you said.

Oh, prove it.

Come on, hot shot. Prove it to me that you can read minds.

Okay, fine.

You said you hate me.

What?

Oh, honey, how could you possibly...

The box.

The box?

No, no, no. The box means I love you. That I finally accepted your decision to

move out.

No, it doesn't. It says you hate me and I can never come back.

You know what our problem is?

The box is a two -faced liar.

So you don't hate me for moving out?

No, sweetie, of course not.

Now, I want to... say this loud and clear.

You will always have a place here.

Okay?

Okay.

Now it's soup.

Hey, Reba, Barbara Jean told me the whole Binky Lulu story.

It's supposed to happen.