All language subtitles for reba_s03e05_spies_like_reba

time to bake since her chick left the
nest.

Look who's not getting a muffin.

Hey, honey, you want one?

Uh, no time. I left a library book
upstairs. It's due today. Bye. Oh, well,

a minute. We haven't talked all week.

Can't you spare five minutes? What would
five minutes really do, Mom?

Wouldn't that just leave us wanting
more?

Barbecue, I'm going to Jenny's after the
library. Bye.

Don't you want to hear about my day?

about your day.

Here's the headline.

Giant blonde attacks muffin factory.
Cute redhead saves the day.

And since when is Kira and Jenny
talking? I thought they were fighting.

anymore. See, Kira sat with Macy at
lunch, so Jenny thought Kira was stuck

But then Kira sat with Jenny again, so
Jenny and Kira made up.

Any questions?

Yeah. Since when are you in the ninth
grade?

I'm very plugged in with the kids, Reba.

And, you know, it's only natural that
you've fallen out of touch with Karis

since she moved out.

I am not out of touch with my daughter.

It's just that she doesn't live here,
and we don't always talk as much as we

And you don't live here either, by the
way.

Reba, let me give you the benefit of my
parenting experience.

I tried talking to Kira, but all I ever
got were angry looks.

Yes, just like that.

But I have learned there are other ways
to open the doors of communication.

I don't want your parenting advice,
Barbara Jean.

Yes, you do.

Because you know that I know things
about Kira that you want to know. And

want to know how I know them. And I'll
let you know how I know them if you let

me know that you want to know... Okay,
fine!

Tell me your secret. Tell me how you get
my daughter to completely open up about

every detail in her life.

I spy on her.

Put your hands in the heart of the
fighter.

I'm a survivor.

I can't believe you spy on my daughter.

And you thought I wasn't ready to raise
a teenager.

Hey, guys, we're back from the ballgame.

Dad let me eat a whole bowl.

Making it sound a lot worse than it is.
The relish was on, like, six hot dogs.

Did you know Barbara Jean is spying on
Kira?

So? So!

It's a betrayal of trust. It's an
invasion of privacy.

It's just old -fashioned wrong.

No, it's only wrong if the person you're
spying on has something to hide.

Like if you had spied on Brock when we
were having...

Okay, honey?

Look, Kira's a good kid. What's Barbara
Jean gonna find out? It's either banned,

the library, or the mall.

We're lucky.

Kira has no life.

Apparently, neither does Barbara Jean,
or she wouldn't be reading a 14 -year

-old's diary.

I would never read Kira's diary.

I read her e -mail.

Yeah. See, I put this filter... on the
computer that lets me see everything

anyone does online.

You mean anything Kira does, right?

No.

I gotta go.

Really,

Reba, there's no harm in spying.

Wouldn't you like to know things? about
Kira?

Like who gave her that friendship
necklace?

No, I wouldn't.

I'm not going to stoop to your level,
Barbara Jean. If Kira wants me to know,

she'll tell me.

Or you could just wait 30 years and hope
that Kira's memoirs get turned into a

movie, which you won't be able to see
unless there's parking outside the

for your high horse.

Kira's life is a movie.

You know who I want to play me?

Who?

Denzel Washington.

What

was that

about? Oh, Barbara Jean thinks that I'll
spy on Kira like I'd ever spy on one of

my kids.

You spied on me all the time. I did not.

Your mom has a point, Cheyenne.

I mean, if she didn't spy on us, you'd
never gotten pregnant.

It's like you were blind.

If you didn't spy on me, how did you
always know when I liked a boy? Oh, it

obvious. You'd be on the phone all day
with all your friends telling them about

it, and then you'd write, I love Jimmy,
on your notebooks.

Jimmy?

Who's Jimmy?

You are, honey.

And then your pockets would be full of
those empty lip gloss containers, and

you'd wear that pink sweater, real low
-cut, with the black lace on it.

Hey, you know, going through someone's
pocket is called spying, Mom.

No, honey, it's called doing the
laundry.

Well, maybe I'll do your laundry and see
how much you like it.

Yeah, do my ironing, too. That'll show
me.

You know what I think, Mrs. H?

That you're not really Jimmy?

I think you should spy on Kira.

What? Yeah, go through her backpack.
They keep everything in there.

And wise up, Mrs. H.

No one gets a friendship necklace from a
friend.

It's from a boy.

Boy friend.

You do the math.

Hey.

Hey! It's been a week.

That deserves a hug.

What are you doing?

Oh, enjoying the scent of a girl who
doesn't smoke or hang out with kids who

Have you been drinking?

No.

Have you?

I'm going upstairs to get some clothes.

Don't follow me.

Why would I follow you?

I'm not nosy.

I'm gonna go through your backpack.

If it's okay, don't say anything.

Brandon!

Hello, Jimmy.

Whoa! That's Cheyenne's sweater. Not
anymore. She gave it to me.

What is that smell?

Did you swallow a car freshener?

No.

And where are you going in Cheyenne's
sweater?

Out. Out where?

Out there, to enjoy the freedom our
forefathers fought and died for.

Why are you asking all this stuff? I'm
not asking stuff.

I just want to know if you're going to
go meet someone somewhere and do

something that I might or might not
like.

Oh, I get it. You think I didn't check
all this with Dad.

No, that's not what I'm saying.

Well, it must be, or you wouldn't be
saying it. I mean, when I lived with

checked with you, not Dad.

Now that I live with Dad, I check with
him, not you, right?

Well, yes.

And now you're worried that I didn't
check with either of you. But I know the

rules, and I check with Dad.

Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?

Well, yeah, but don't think you can just
walk in here and abide by the rules,

little missy.

Hey, guys.

You're around?

No, she's over at a friend's house.

Which friend's? I don't know. Mindy,
Bitsy, Bootsy. I can't keep track.

You let your daughter leave this house
without knowing where she's going?

What kind of parent are you?

Am I? Jake, what are you doing here?

Not ruining my dinner.

You didn't know where Jake was.

Oh, that's different. Jake hasn't
blossomed.

Come on. Kira's fine. She's a good kid.

Oh, really?

So you're not the least bit worried that
she just left my house wearing

Cheyenne's sweater?

Hey, I spent so much money on those
clothes, I hope Jake wears Cheyenne's

sweater.

And anyway, we're not talking about
Cheyenne here. We're talking about Kira.

Kira, who might have a boyfriend whose
name might be Brandon, who might have

given her a necklace.

Well, I'm hearing a lot of might.

So until I hear some definitelys, I'm
not going to freak out.

How can I be sure?

Boop.

You've got mail.

Boop. You've got a goofball.

Okay, Barbara Jean.

What's the story with Kira?

She definitely has a boyfriend named
Brandon. And he definitely gave her that

necklace. Well, is she meeting him or is
she over at Mindy Bitsy Bootsy's house?

Well, there's nothing in here that tells
me... Oh, my goodness!

What? What? We can refinance at 4 .75
with no points!

Oh, get over it!

Oh, what'd I do? Did I set off the
alarm?

No, it's the instant message.

It's like talking with someone over the
phone.

but less private and more difficult.

It's from her friend Mindy.

F2T. What does that mean?

Free to talk.

Put yes.

Oh, I don't mean put yes. I mean put
why.

That's the first letter.

Okay, another message. The letter R, the
letter U.

No! Are you?

See, are you?

Okay, right, all right. Are you going to
Brandon's tonight? K -Y -R -A.

What? K -Y -R -A.

Kira.

No parents equal fun. No parents. It's
an unsupervised party, Brock.

That she may not be going to. She's
asking why I'm not replying. What do I

Well, don't say anything. She'll know
you're not Kira. It's all cats. She's

Turn it off.

TIO. TIO.

Well,

Brock. Okay, all right, now don't panic.

So she didn't tell us her friend was a
boy. A boy she likes whose parents are

out of town.

Yeah, yeah, it sounds bad.

Real, real bad. But that doesn't mean
she's going to go over there and

do something stupid.

Right. It just means she can.

Kids are starting to arrive. Pull
closer, Brock.

We'll never be able to see her from
here. We're never going to see her

she's not coming.

But if her friends see us, then she's
going to think I don't trust her.

And Reba, don't worry.

I've got a plan that'll make both of you
happy.

Ha!

That vision goggle, huh? Barbara Jean,
we're in the suburbs, not now.

You can't go sneaking around looking in
people's windows.

I'll radio if I see anything.

And don't worry.

I'm not going to do anything that looks
suspicious.

I can't believe this

is happening.

Oh, come on, Brock. You knew she was
crazy when you married her.

I heard that.

No, I can't believe I'm sitting out here
because you don't trust me.

Kira's been living with me for a whole
month, so obviously she's gone wild. I'm

that bad a parent.

Well, I'm not here to argue with you,
Brock.

All I know is when she lived with me, I
knew what she was up to.

Oh, yeah, like you did with Cheyenne?

One time. One time our daughter gets
pregnant, and I never hear the end of

Hey, I know what Kira's up to. She's out
with friends.

Well, that's not good enough.

You need to know which friends and where
they're going, for how long, and get a

phone number. And then get a cell number
in case they lie about the phone

number. Or maybe we could put a chip in
her head and track her by satellite.

Well, if you weren't so cheap.

Did you ever stop and think that maybe
one of the reasons Kira moved in with me

is because I trust her?

You know what?

We might have to be here on a stakeout,
but we don't have to talk.

Fine. Fine.

Roger that.

You think my mom kept track of my lip
gloss?

Oh, I know.

We'd go through like a tube a week.

Hey, remember when my mom kept that old
couch out in the garage?

I thought my lips would fall off.

You know, it was kind of fun sneaking
around, never knowing if we're going to

get caught or not. Yeah.

Sitting there in the dark, the scent of
strawberry passion on our faces.

Nothing's wrong. That's the problem.

There's no tension.

We're married.

It takes all the fun out of fooling
around.

No. I mean, we could go upstairs and
dance around our room naked and no one

would care.

sign of Kyrie yet.

I'm going back in.

You know, I'd love to think that your
wife is insane for climbing up a tree in

night vision goggles, but then I realize
she's my leader.

What are you talking about?

I spied on my kid today, Brock. I'm
spying on her right now.

Well, unless she doesn't show up.

then you'd just be some creepy old lady
watching the teenagers party.

Because I don't know who she is anymore.

You know, Kara's only been out of the
house for a month, and she's got a whole

new life I don't know about.

Hey, try three years.

When I moved out, Cheyenne was drill
team captain, Jake was learning to tie

shoes, and Kara was just a smart
-mouthed kid.

Every parent looks at their kid and
thinks, oh, they grow up so fast.

But I never realized how fast until I
wasn't there every day to see it.

Yeah, now I'm going to be the one that's
not there to see it.

Hit the gas!

I've been spotted!

What? What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

Oh, I think a better question is...

Never mind why we're here. Why are you
here?

I'm with my friends, okay?

Friends or boys?

What's the difference?

You don't know?

We got nothing to worry about.

We know it's an unsupervised party,
Kira.

Where did you hear that?

Have you been following me?

No, we got it from your email.

Again, honey, don't help.

Wait, Kira. Stop.

You know, I get Barbara Jean doing this,
and Dad has to tag along in case he

needs to post bail.

But not you, Mom.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

And we all know what your mom did was
wrong.

But you know what else is wrong?

You sneaking around with boys.

I know it's kind of dark out, but if you
borrow Barbara Jean's spy goggles,

you'll be able to see I'm not Cheyenne.

Well, maybe we got confused because
you're wearing her boy -meeting sweater.

So you guys really think I'm so stupid
that I'd sneak off and have sex when I'm

14? And even if I did, why would I wear
Cheyenne's sweater?

For good luck?

I thought you knew me better than that.
Well, I used to.

But since you moved out, we don't talk,
I don't see you. You don't even check in

with me. Because I live with Dad now. I
don't have to do all that stuff.

Oh, yes, you do.

What? From now on, you have to check
with both me and your mother.

Maybe you thought you'd have it easy
living with me because Dad's a pushover.

Well, let me tell you something.

Living with me isn't going to be a free
ride, and it isn't a license to cut your

mother out of your life either.

But that's not fair.

Well, good. Then I must be doing
something right.

Now go say goodnight to your friends.

Oh, and tell Brandon I'm going to be
sending his parents a nice little thank

note for letting him throw this party.

I can't believe this.

Who are you?

I'm the girl's father.

Hands off the merchandise.