Original subtitles

So much fun.

I just love the potter.

You and I should have play dates more often.

That wasn't a play date.

I was hiding behind that tree when you found me.

Why don't you go on the teeter -totter with me, you spoiled sport?

Well, I thought somebody should watch the kids.

Explain you to the other mothers.

And there's my sweet little bundle of perfection.

Aw, you can call me Mom.

So how was the campus career fair?

Oh, wait. Let me guess.

It was just fair.

So tell me about it. What was it like?

The campus career thing was awesome.

Informative. You had fun.

There were balloons.

And careers. And people talking about careers.

Really?

Any promising leads on what you might want to do with the rest of your life? A

ton.

Yeah, but, you know, they said it's bad luck if you talk about it. Yeah.

You didn't go.

Dang it, Cheyenne!

There's the bad moon rising.

It's go time, Hank.

Okay, look, Mrs. H. We were on our way to the career fair, but our path was

blocked by this huge outdoor concert.

Yeah. And at first, we thought that was career day. By the time we realized that

it wasn't, the real one was over.

So you were supposed to pick a career so you could choose a major so you could

have a future.

So? So instead, you start the first day of the rest of your life by going to a

concert. Mom, it was one career fair. What is the big deal? The big deal is

have a baby now.

Which means you don't get to be the college student in the beer helmet

Party! Woo -hoo!

Just like she was there.

You have to start taking responsibility.

Make hard choices.

Stop acting like children and start acting like you have one.

That guy in the beer helmet was my guidance counselor.

With gentle hands and the heart of a fighter, I'm a

survivor.

Okay, coin wrappers, as I like to say, let's roll.

Penny jar down to the grocery store and dump it in the sorting machine. Or maybe

we could go to the bathroom and flush eight cents on the dollar down the

Dad, do you have a minute?

If it were only any time other than coin time.

What can I do for you, honey?

Mom yelled at me.

You know what always cheers me up?

Rolling nickels.

With me, it's scotch.

So what happened, honey?

She's all over me about the stupid rest of my life, just because I haven't

picked a major.

You know, your mom's always been like that. She used to ride me about mowing

lawn every week. I mean, every other week is fine.

But would she let it go? No. No, it was always grass, grass, grass.

And garbage.

And dishes.

But mostly grass.

You know, Bob, we should help her.

What are your interests?

Well, she likes nail polish and shopping.

She should major in rocket science.

Or I could major in... Shut up, Kira.

You know, Cheyenne, I didn't always want to be a thrifty stay -at -home mom.

At one point, I wanted to be a meter maid.

But they wouldn't let me carry a gun.

want to do?

I mean, I like money.

How did you decide to become a dentist?

Well, I knew I wanted to make a good living and have flexible hours.

Okay, well, that's a start.

And I really wanted to be my own boss.

That's what I want to be, a boss.

You know, being a dentist lets you be all those things, plus you get to help

people. It's very rewarding.

Those are the things you should look for in a career.

Okay, I'll do it. Do what?

Become a dentist.

First, you have to be able to spell dentist.

Tell you what I can't spell. Shut up, Kira.

Cheyenne, honey, it's a big commitment. Are you sure you want to do this? Yes. I

mean, I used to love coming to see you at the office.

Plus, I learned from the best.

I'm not the best.

Am I the best?

Best dentist and best daddy.

Hey, for the future dentist.

Go out and buy yourself some monogram drool bibs. I did, and I never regretted

it.

Hey, if we get you and Jake to join her, we could be those four out of five

dentists that recommend stuff.

Come on, let's go tell Mom. She's going to be absolutely thrilled that I finally

picked a major.

Come on, Kira. Don't you want to hear what your mom has to say about all this?

Oh, we're only four houses down.

I'm pretty sure I'll hear.

Hey, Mom.

What are you doing?

Well, I'm trying to help your sister with her career choice.

Shouldn't she be here?

No, honey, I want it to be the right one.

Well, I know what I want to be. An accountant.

Really? Why an accountant?

Jeffrey's dad is an accountant and he has a jet ski.

Oh, Cheyenne, I'm glad you're back.

I wanted to go over some possible majors that I found for you. No need, Reba.

It's already done. Yep.

Dad and Barbara Jean helped me pick a major.

Oh, great. Bring in the experts. That's what I always say.

Okay. Well, after a lot of soul -searching and some really good bonding

with Dad, I decided I want to be a dentist.

I got one for you. Maybe Van should be governor.

No, no. No, Mom, I'm serious. I want to be a dentist.

Oh, really?

Mm -hmm. Oh, wee.

Well, what did your dad say to you to make you choose such a perfect, perfect

career? Well, he was talking about what he loved about his job, and I realized I

love dentisting.

It's dentistry.

Whatever.

Well, that's great.

And I'm sure you guys talked about how Cheyenne doesn't care for science, math,

or teeth.

A dentist!

We didn't really talk all that much. It just kind of happened fast.

I can't wait to tell Ben. Thank you. Oh, you're welcome, sweetie.

Oh, I'm sorry. Doctor, sweetie.

Yeah?

Oh, excuse me, Dr.

Boneheads.

I'm not a doctor.

You know, I don't think it's such a bad idea, her wanting to be a dentist.

Brock, it takes eight years to become a dentist. She's never going to stick with

something that long.

I don't think that's true.

Okay, she took piano, ballet, and karate.

She can't play, she can't dance, and Jake can take her.

Yeah, well, she was younger then.

Maybe she's learned that if she wants to accomplish anything worthwhile, she's

going to have to stick to it.

That's how I learned to fit seven eggs in my mouth.

And besides, you know, I feel that we must encourage our children at all

Yeah, when they're six and want to fly a cardboard box to the moon.

Rita, a child can do anything. Anything she sets her mind to.

Except shrink eight inches, I can tell you that.

So what? You're saying that I'm a bad parent for encouraging our child's

Is that it? Yeah. You're a bad parent.

A good parent matches the dream to the child.

So they won't get hurt or disappointed.

Not every child can be an astronaut.

Or jam seven plums into their mouth.

Cheyenne's dream is unrealistic until she tries it. Oh, you're right. Yeah.

I'm sure Cheyenne will be great at dentisting.

I can see the sign now.

Cheyenne Montgomery, teeth take her outer. She misspoke.

Okay, Brock, here's the deal. You talked her into it, you get to talk her out of

it. No way.

Oh, yes way, because I know how this happened. She went crying to you because

yelled at her, and instead of backing me up like you should have, you agreed

with her.

That is so wrong.

And I bet you even brought up the grass thing.

Now this is just insulting. Excuse me. Fine.

Maybe you can let her waste a year of her life, but I'm not going to.

Oh, Reba, don't you worry about a thing.

I'm going to brew a pot of tea, and we are going to have a nice, long chat

it.

Why don't we do that over at your house?

Oh, okay.

I got lemon, zinger, orange, pico. I've got an organic peppermint.

I don't

need career counseling. I've already decided what I want to major in.

When? In the car when we're at that really long light.

marketing. You know why?

Because they hang out with accountants, and the word is those guys have jet

skis.

All I'm saying is, a career counselor would just give us a little

Well, I just think it's a waste of time when we already know what we want to do.

Dentist, marketer guy.

Hey, maybe I could do the marketing for your dental office.

I'm seeing a campaign.

It's not coming to me.

Yeah, and when you said you wanted to be a dentist, it got me thinking.

I mean, if you're willing to put that much effort into it, why not shoot a

little higher, maybe like a brain surgeon?

Whoa, now that's something I could market.

I got nothing.

I hear you, Mom.

I mean, what if I'm meant to be like a molecular biologist and supposed to find

a cure for cancer or something?

Thanks for thinking I could cure cancer, Ma. That's what we're here for.

Cheyenne and Ben Montgomery.

Hi. Hi.

It's nice to meet you. I'm Ben.

Hi, Ben.

Who are you?

Oh, I'm Reba Hart. I brought the kids down so you can do that thing we talked

about over the phone.

Oh, Mrs. Hart, I tried to explain this to you earlier.

Career counseling is not telling people what they've chosen is dumb.

This is serious.

My daughter's making a big mistake, and I need you to straighten her out. Uh

-huh. Well, how about I listen to what she's thinking and then give her some

guidance? Oh, no, she doesn't need any guidance.

She needs a big, fat dose of reality.

See, she thinks she wants to be a dentist. And you don't like dentists?

No, no, my ex -husband's a dentist, and I... Oh, and you don't want her to be

one because she's following in his footsteps, and you hate that.

Tell you what I do hate.

That's people finishing my sentences.

Look, that kid is a wonderful, sweet girl.

She's the kind of kid that gets really excited about stuff. But by the time you

buy her the tutu, she's already wanting to take karate lessons.

Is that the end of your sentence?

Yes.

See, mainly, her father doesn't want to say anything negative to her.

All right, then.

I'll see you in a little bit. You know, he does that with all the kids.

You know, to tell you the truth, that is the reason why Kira moved in with him.

Kira, now, she's 14 years old. Mrs. Hart, you know, we have family

just two doors down.

Why don't you take a little stroll over there while I talk to Van and Shane?

Hey, Van, how'd it go in there?

Man, that was tough.

Yeah? I mean, I'm not even sure where to find an organ grinder, let alone get

him to take me on.

Hey there.

Did you pick a career? I sure did.

In?

Dentistry.

Turns out I've been saying it wrong.

No, honey, I don't think you heard her right.

No, no, no, it's dentistry.

And she told me to go for it. Isn't that great?

that's what it is.

I'm going to give Marie my personal thanks. Oh, okay. All right.

Uh, Marie?

Thanks.

What happened in there?

Oh, it's simple.

After talking with Cheyenne, I think she could do it. Now, she knows she hasn't

applied herself in the past, but she wants to correct that.

Now, that boy there?

to be indoors.

Well, that's just unacceptable.

Now, you take those kids back in there and tell them you made a mistake.

Mom, what's wrong? What's wrong is that so -called guidance counselor gave you

kids some bad advice.

There's no way you should be a dentist.

And you say your 14 -year -old just moved out?

So you never really believed I could do this.

And I bet you were lying about me carrying cancer, too.

Cheyenne, those classes cost money. And in a couple months, you'll be wanting to

do something else, and I'll have to deal with that.

You know what?

Thanks for bringing me down here.

It's good to know someone believes in me. Just not my mom.

Cheyenne!

Don't worry.

I can cheer her up.

Mr. Robotica.

because I want to help, okay?

You know, I was sitting out on my porch watching the grass grow like it's

supposed to, and I realized that it's not fair for me to always make you the

guy.

So I'll talk to Cheyenne.

See, I'm sure she thinks being a dentist is all glitz and glamour.

What Cheyenne doesn't know is that for every guy who pulls a molar, there are a

thousand broken hearts of people who couldn't cut it.

I'm glad you guys are here. Mom, I thought a lot about what you said.

Cheyenne, sweetie, I think I made a mistake.

I'm not really sure dentistry is the right thing. I mean, truth be told, I

it. They bite you. The little kids, they bite you on purpose.

And you can't even smack them.

It's okay. I think I know why Mom thinks I can't handle it.

Look, Mom, I am flaky, and I don't stick to things.

Wow.

Honey, admitting that about yourself is a step in the right direction.

Don't worry, we'll find you something.

Oh, I already did.

Dentistry.

I'm going for it.

Look, everybody thinks that I can do it.

Everyone but you.

Cheyenne, I want to believe in you, but it's hard.

You've got a very well -established track record.

You've been a model flake.

Thank goodness you're back. Where is the baby's baba, Cheyenne? I looked

everywhere and I can't find it. I gave her the green one, but she threw that.

Now it's gone. And she's pulling on her ear again, which means she needs the

drops. I don't have the drops. I don't have the baba. I got nothing.

Calm down.

I always clip an extra baba to her binky.

Baba?

Binky?

Listen to us.

She's taken away our ability to speak like big people.

I so want to be that guy in the beer helmet going, party, woo, yeah.

And breathe, okay?

Everything is going to be all right. Mommy's back.

It's after four, so you can give her three drops. If she keeps pulling on her

ear, though, give her some children's aspirin.

Top drawer left.

Okay. Elizabeth, Mommy's home. Daddy's going to be okay.

So I'm going for it.

And if you don't think that I'm going to follow through with it, I'm going to

have to prove you wrong.

No.

Just a minute.

I just realized something.

Maybe I was wrong.

Somebody get a video camera.

What do you mean, maybe you were wrong?

Elizabeth, being a mom, honey, you're a great mom.

It's not that you can't stick to something, it's that you don't.

And it's obvious you can do just about anything you want to.

As long as it's important to you.

So what are you saying? You'll support me trying to be a dentist?

Is being a dentist important to you?

Hey, hey.

You know that whole thing about kids biting you? That was really just for

dramatic effect.

We have great hours.

Is it?

Yeah, it is.

Sure you wouldn't rather just take piano lessons?

I'm here to support you.

But if in a couple of months you decide to be a forest ranger, you're on your

own.

Oh, a forest ranger? Cheyenne.

All right.

It's like I would ever wear one of those stupid brown hats.

You know, Reva, if we weren't divorced, this is where we'd hug and say what a

good job we did and then discuss what we're having for dinner.

Hey, why don't we do that over at your house?

You're going to slam the door on me, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah.