All language subtitles for mr_belvedere_s06e07_homecoming

Here you go.

Hurry up, Heather. I've got to meet
Marvin.

I can't believe you're going to the
homecoming dance with him. He's a little

nerdy, isn't he?

He's not nerdy. He's just smart.

He's got dandruff in his eyebrows.

That's eczema.

And besides, you're just cranky because
you don't have a date. Didn't anyone ask

you? Well, sure. I mean, there was
interest.

Okay, so I'm going through a dry spell.

Where's the head?

Down at the end of the hall next to the
water fountain.

The head of the statue?

Well, if you ask me, Heather, you're
much too choosy.

Maybe. But I'm still young enough to
believe there is a Mr.

Right.

Sure, like he's going to walk right up
to you and say, Hi.

Looks like you lost your head.

Like my psychology professor was saying,
one of the reasons Carl Jung split with

Sigmund Freud was over their different
theories of dream interpretation.

Hey, Kev, all I asked you was, what does
it mean if I dream of dancing naked

with Pee Wee Herman?

Whiskey, you weasel!

Turn that thing off!

But I'm trying to shoot a video for
school.

Not while I'm taking my bath!

What do you know?

They raised the Titanic.

But, Mr. Belvedere, you're my favorite
subject.

Then you should try and capture me at my
best.

You couldn't capture that with a
harpoon.

Hey, I've got a great idea.

How about a Mr. Belvedere housekeeping
video? We can show how you cook and

and unplug the john and everything.

I've honed my skills for decades.

I will not have them trivialized.

But this is just what the public is
crying for.

If the public is crying, it's because
you're on the loose.

I'll kick the jacket as you came through
the door.

No one's there, but sometimes things get
turned around and no one's there.

All hands look out below.

There's a change in the status quo.

Gonna need all the help that you can
get.

According to our new arrival, life is
more than mere survival.

I just might live the good life yet.

So anyway, I've got my choices narrowed
down. Harvard, Stanford, and Michigan.

What about you?

Well, I know I could get into Valley
Junior College.

My dad wants to save the dean's life or
something.

Your dad's sports reports are terrific.

I'd like to meet him sometime.

You probably will.

When it comes to guys, he has this weird
kind of radar.

Dad, this is Keith who was helping me
put decorations up for the homecoming

dance. Oh, yeah.

Heather, why don't you invite your
friend in?

Thanks. Oh, yeah. Come on in.

If I blew this chance to meet George
Owens, I'd never forgive myself.

You know, I read your sports column for
years. I used to clip it for my

scrapbook. Sure.

And golfing his cap.

Willie Stargell wrote off into our
memories.

No one had to ask, who was that masked
man?

For we all knew he was the soul of
Pittsburgh.

I wrote that ten years ago.

Stargell sent me roses.

Keith, this is my mom.

Hello. Right, you're the attorney.

Heather has told me all about you.
Between you and me, she's real proud of

Keith.

I didn't mean to embarrass you.

That's okay.

Well, look, I have to run.

Football practice.

Wait a second.

You're not Keith Elliott, are you?

Uh -huh.

The all -state wide receiver?

That was last year. This year I'm taking
a couple of college courses and it cuts

into my practice time.

Oh.

It was nice meeting you both.

Hey, why don't you walk... Keith to his
car. Go ahead.

I think my father likes you.

How could you tell?

Listen, Heather.

Do you have a date for the homecoming
dance?

What? I mean, aren't you going with a
cheerleader or something?

I was, but we just broke up.

Why don't you take it over?

Call you later.

I'm Inga, your favorite Swedish maid.

Good morning.

Today, I'd like to show off my very
wonderful Swedish meatballs.

housekeeping video.

This is degrading to women, Swedes,
blondes, domestics, and several members

the animal kingdom.

Yeah, that's what's going to make me
rich.

Wesley, I'm shocked that even you could
sink to such depths.

Well, you wouldn't be in my video, so I
had to do the next best thing.

Yeah.

Very well, Wesley. I'll be in your
grubby little video.

He's up on the smile. We're not trying
to sell denture cream.

And action.

Hello. This is Mr. Belvedere.

Here to show you the way to get rid of
those irritating stains upon your

breadboard.

It is easy the Belvedere way.

Simply measure one part of baking soda.
Cut.

What now?

Jazz it up a little? What do you want me
to do, drop my pants?

With a try.

This is insupportable.

Okay, okay, I take it back.

You can be as boring as you want.

Oh, no, Wesley, I wouldn't dream of it.

Huh? If it's show business you want,
it's show business you'll get.

Uh -oh.

Hey, Kev, what are you doing here on a
Friday night?

Is there anything wrong? with me wanting
to spend some quality time with my

family?

Struck out again, huh?

You must either be Keith or a singing
telegram.

Mr. Belvedere, right?

The last I heard. Great to meet you. I'm
here to pick up Heather for the dance.

Hey, come on in, fella. Good to see you
again, Mr. Owens. Call me George.

George!

I'd like you to meet Heather's brother,
uh... Kevin.

Keith here has all stayed in three
sports.

Fifteen hundred on his SATs. Oh, come
on. I'm sure Kevin did a lot in high

school, too.

I was lunchroom monitor for three years.

Oh, Heather!

Don't want to keep your date waiting!

We're coming!

There she is!

Miss America!

Dad! Don't mind him, Keith. Heather, you
look beautiful.

This flower doesn't do you justice.

Oh, thank you.

That must be Norman Rockwell.

I know someone who's free.

That's very sweet, Mr. Billy Goat.

But they'd probably think you were my
grandfather or something.

Not me, you ninny.

I was thinking of Kevin.

What?

Oh, gee, Kevin, would you?

I'd be really, really grateful.

Uh, look, I don't have a tux or
anything.

Hey, don't worry, pal.

I got something you can wear.

Certainly dressed the hell funny around
here.

Look, my father wore this at his
wedding, all right? This was a last

thing, okay?

So you having a good time? I've had my
greens that were more fun.

Your perfume smells nice.

Oh, thanks.

My dad had it flown in from Paris.

Well, I'm too glad you didn't have a
date.

For once in my life, so am I.

Does this mean it's almost over? Come
on, Kevin. You look adorable.

I look like the Maharishi of Pittsburgh.

Thank you, gods and goddesses. On behalf
of the happy guys of Beaver Falls,

who sponsored this year's homecoming
jamboree and tire sale, I

am proud to announce this year's
homecoming queen and king. May I have

envelopes, please?

I really hate this a lot.

Van Buren's homecoming queen is... Oh, I
can't wait.

Angela Shostakovich.

She'll be escorted to the stage by her
colorful escort, Kevin

Owens. Oh, no. I'm not going up there.

I bet I know who the king will be.

And Van Buren's homecoming king is Keith
Elliott.

And he leads to the stage his lovely
consort, Heather Owens.

Let's hear it for our royalty.

I've never been up here before. The view
is really beautiful.

It sure is.

Why were you in such a rush to leave the
dance early?

I was tired of sharing you with the
crowd. I wanted to have you all to

Really?

You know, if I had my way, I'd have
named you my queen.

Keith, that's a little out of bounds.

I like you, Heather.

Well, I like you too, Keith.

But I just met you.

You feel something for me. You know it.
Keith, I don't want to. You just need to

relax. No, you need to cut it out!

Stop it! I said no!

No!

Hi, everybody.

Hi, Kev. Hey, Kev.

Hey, honey, we saw your picture in the
paper.

Huh? Yeah, the homecoming dance. Look, a
great big picture of the four of you.

Oh, boy. Maybe if I hurry, I can buy up
the rest of the copies.

Hey, kitten.

You see this?

Looks like you guys had the time of your
lives.

Uh -huh.

What's the matter with her?

Oh, George, she's still in a swoon over
last night.

Come on, Mr.

Belvedere. How long can it take to get
ready for a dumb dusting lesson?

Mr. Belvedere, what have you done?

I have decided to take your advice about
jazzing up our little production.

After all, if I am going to be a star, I
should look like a star.

Yeah, but why Dracula?

Quite well.

If I am to dust, Where is my feather
duster? Quickly, where are the props?

Right here.

Okay, can we just get started?

Here we go, and action.

Dust, you say?

In the words of the immortal bard,
whether it is nobler to dust the mantle

wipe it with a polished cloth.

Aye, there's the rub.

Calling the guys in the white jackets.

Hello, Heather.

Hi.

You're missing Keith's football game.

I hate football.

There's hope for this family yet.

Mr. Belvedere, I think I'd rather be
alone.

Is everything all right between you and
Keith?

Fine. You haven't taken his phone calls
for a week.

I'm playing hard to get.

It was stuffed in a trunk in the attic
under some of your old cabbage patch

dolls.

I didn't want it anymore.

There's a large rip in it.

How did it happen?

I caused him to assault you?

Keith today.

Look, there's something that I need...
He scored three touchdowns, one on a

return. I mean, this kid could go all
the way to the NFL.

Speaking of going all the way... Oh, you
know, we spoke to Keith after the game.

He was so disappointed you weren't there
to cheer him on.

Yeah, kitten.

You ought to show some interest.

I mean, guys like him don't grow on
trees.

Hey, it's nice of you to invite me over
to see your sports collection. It's a

pleasure. Nobody else in this family
appreciates it.

Wow.

A football signed by Terry Bradshaw.

Yeah, he threw it at my head once when I
called him Baldy.

Keith.

Hi, Heather.

What's he doing here?

I invited him.

Why don't you sit down and join us,
honey?

Oh, no, thank you.

Hey, come on, Heather. I haven't seen
you for a long time.

Gee, I wonder why.

Hey, uh... What's going on with you two?

Oh, Heather.

I managed to repair your dress.

Look.

You'd never know there'd been a huge rip
down the front.

What happened to your dress, honey?

Why don't you ask Keith?

What's he talking about? Pete's me.

You liar.

You jumped on me and tried to rip my
dress off.

Hey, lighten up.

The dress ripped while we were...

Messing around a little.

Messing around?

Is that what you call trying to rape me?

What? I can't believe she's saying this.

I screamed at him to stop, but he
wouldn't.

Hey, girls never mean stop when they say
to. You know that.

Sure.

Sure.

Listen, kitten, would you excuse us two
jocks for a minute?

We need to have a little mano a mano
time.

Ow! You got it.

Look, Mr. Hall. Shut up.

Listen, the only reason you're still
living is because you're not worth

an autograph battle. Yes, sir.

Curls never mean stop when they say to.

Who taught you that? Freddy Krueger? I'm
sorry.

Sorry won't cover this one.

Listen, cleats for brains.

No means no. You got it? Got it.

It's guys like you that give athletes a
bad name.

It's guys like you that give guys a bad
name. Can I go now?

Get out of here.

See you around my daughter or anyone
else's.

You'll be running pass patterns in a
body test.

Oh, honey, why'd you wait so long to
tell us?

I don't know.

I was ashamed. I thought it was my
fault.

But you didn't do anything wrong.

Thanks, Mom.

Heather, we're your parents, and you can
come to us with anything.

Yeah, even if it seems like we're too
old and dumb to understand.

So are you okay?

Yeah, I'm gonna be fine.

Hey, kitten, another thing I don't get.
I mean, Keith's a pretty big guy.

How'd you get away from him, anyway?

Well, Dad, I did what you always taught
me to do. I kicked him where it would

hurt most.

That's my girl.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the world premiere of my Mr. Belvedere
video.

The fantasy genius at work.

My thoughts exactly.

I'm Mr. Belvedere, here to show you how
to get rid of those irritating stains on

your breadboard.

It's easy the Belvedere way.

Simply measure.

But there are two in Belvedere's. One is
a dedicated, sensitive housekeeper. The

other is the housekeeper from hell.

Who is he? What is he?

Why is he here?

Let's learn more about this larger -than
-life housekeeper.

Mr. Belvedere comes from an old,
distinguished family.

After spending several years in the
armed forces, Mr. Belvedere made his

triumphant entrance onto the North
American continent.

Mr. Belvedere is the perfect
housekeeper. He tans gardens.

He unplugs stopped toilets.

Mr. Belvedere makes friends wherever he
goes.

A hard worker, Mr.

Belvedere cherishes his quiet, private
moments.

He's a great little dancer.

And he's no slouch as a singer.

But as talented as Mr. Belvedere is,
he's decided not to do any more videos.

What did you think?

Not enough close -ups.

Mr.

Belvedere will be right back.

With the help of her family, Heather is
turning a bad experience into one of

personal growth.

As for Keith...

I think he'll be out of circulation for
a while.

It seems a little birdie told his
parents about his recent exploits.

I wonder who that could be.

Meanwhile, I've abandoned my quest for
stardom.

I suppose I was a bit dazzled by the
thought of my name in lights.

Come in.

Mr. Belvedere, could you turn this thing
off? It's keeping me awake.

Show business is my life.