Original subtitles

Going Incredible Sunday, a lesson in lasers leads to an impossible assignment

Mission Impossible.

Your lifeline is seriously dominant.

I see something really, really big entering your life.

Good afternoon.

Oh, hello, dear.

This is my friend, Ramona.

Oh, hello, Ramona. Hi.

She's into paranormal phenomena.

You know, things that have no earthly explanation.

Then she must meet Wesley.

Hi, Mr. Bumper Sticker.

Why don't you take her with you? She could use a second chance.

Hi, Ange. What are you doing here?

We're supposed to go to the movies, remember?

No.

Oh, that's probably because I forgot to ask.

So you want to?

Well, actually, Ramona and I are going to rebirthing. It's a new age technique

of spiritual enlightenment.

Rebirthing sounds neat.

All I remember about the first time is a lot of screaming and being dropped on

my head.

I knew it.

Come on, Heather.

We don't want to be late. That's right. Well, see you later, Ange.

Well, Mr. Bedwater.

I guess it's just you and me.

Guess again.

Hey, Wes, what did you do to your shoes?

Nothing, just the usual wear and tear.

Plus, I put them in the microwave.

Why?

I'm trying to ruin them so Dad will buy me a pair of those Armani high tops.

Yeah, dream on. They cost 120 bucks.

When I have to make a quick getaway, I need state -of -the -art equipment.

Forget it, Wes. I never got sneakers like that.

Hey, Wes, man.

Have I got something for you.

You've been begging me a long time for this, pal.

Why, father?

Whatever could it be?

You ready, buddy?

You bet I'm ready.

Okay, pal. Here you go.

Isn't he great?

Hey, Wes, you finally got a dog.

Selling to China never mattered before.

Who cares when you drop a picture jacket?

As you came through the door, no one glared.

According to our new rival, life is more than mere survival.

And we just might live the good life yet.

Hey, look, Wes, he's nuts about you.

Of course he is. I just had a hamburger.

Hey, Wes, show Belvedere your new friend.

Just what we need, another animal in the house.

Hey, tell your mom the news, Wes.

Dad got me a dog. Oh, that's wonderful, honey. After all this time, I bet you

thought we'd never get you one.

I know, I'm surprised.

The station sent me to the pound to do a public service announcement.

This little guy was only minutes away from the Big Needle. You know, a one

ticket to Hound Heaven. Oh, you poor baby.

Come here.

No. I bet if I took him to the restaurant with me, I would clean up on

What are you going to name him, Wes?

I don't know.

Come on, Wes.

I used to think of great names for dogs.

Attila, Moamar, Geraldo.

I guess I'll call him Spot.

No doubt in honor of what he'll do to the carpets.

Stay there.

Well, the kid sure doesn't seem very excited.

Oh, don't worry, George.

Spot's new.

He'll take some time getting used to.

You're right, Delvedere.

I mean, it took damn near a year to housebreak you.

Where's my ruler?

You think you're pretty smart, don't you?

I've seen that one three times already, okay?

Where were you when I really wanted the dog?

Now it's too late.

Forget it, I'm going to bed.

and you forgot someone.

Dad.

Hey, is that a Christmas card or what?

Hey, Marsha, bring the camera.

Come on, Dad.

Marsha, hurry up.

George, what is it?

Oh, that's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Well, go ahead, take a picture.

Hey, I should bring the dog and the camera to the diner, put a chef's hat on

dog, pose him with the customers and charge a buck a shot.

Say doggy biscuit.

Doggy burp.

Oh, hello, Heather.

Have you been rebirthed as Ramona?

Like it?

Oh, very nice.

But where's the broomstick and the pointy hat?

Shake it off, Heather. Spiritual enlightenment isn't for everyone.

That's what I tried to tell Jim and Tammy.

Hey, Ange, we can't. We kind of have plans.

Oh, where are you going this time?

The Pittsburgh Psychic Fest.

It'll probably be really boring for you. It's a lot of new age stuff like

psychic massage and channeling. Oh, I know about channeling. You just press

button on the remote control and the picture changes.

Angela, channeling is where a non -reincarnated being speaks through a

person.

Non -reincarnated?

You mean like dead?

Or from another planet?

Now this begins to make sense.

A very hot new spirit guide will be at the fair. He's 6 ,000 years old. He

enters the body of a mystic named Murray Rabinowitz and speaks the wisdom of the

ages.

Ask him where I can get a good frozen pizza.

They say it can also help you advance to your next level of development.

Great. I need some new bras.

You know, Heather, I have a feeling that Angela will be right at home at the

psychic fair.

Let's go, Ange. Come on, Ramona. If you see Shirley MacLaine, tell her I still

remember that wild night we spent together in 1793.

Okay.

The other round. Come on, don't be frightened. Step right up. Come on.

Get close. There's nothing to be frightened of. That's all right.

Fellow seekers of enlightenment, please join me in welcoming Into My Body.

the ancient intergalactic spirit sage, Wemaphon.

Hey, that's the guy who cuts the cheese down at the deli. Say job.

It is my great delight to once again join

you wonderful people on the planet Earth. Let me begin by humbly accepting

most profound questions.

about your never -ending journeys through time and space.

I have a question.

Yes, my dear?

Why does the ice cream truck only come in the summer?

Well, sometimes even when it's cold, I get a real urge for a nutty buddy.

I'm a belly dancer, and I just can't seem to get my career going.

You guys save my place. I'm going to get a drink of water.

Heather.

Angela is a complete airhead. Let's ditch her.

Well, I don't know. I mean, Angela and I have been best friends since we were

little kids.

Oh, Angela.

While you were gone, I found out my sister Marcy got a flat tire and we have

go help her.

She called you guys here?

Uh, she called me telepathically.

All right, Marcy.

All right.

We're coming.

We better hurry. See you later, Angela.

See ya. Bye.

Wait a minute, I drove.

They disinvited.

Weemathon, what sort of person makes a good channel? My friend, the best

for a spirit guide is empty -headed.

Such a being can begin to channel just like that.

How long have you been in the house?

A couple of hours.

You know, Wesley, for somebody who has wanted a dog all these years, you

certainly seem indifferent.

Yeah, well, I always wanted a big floppy dog.

One that could be a real friend and rip someone's throat out.

I must admit, this dog's quite extraordinary.

He's not so special.

Come on, boy.

You're right, Wesley. He can't even pop a wheelie.

Hey, buddy, we gotta have a talk.

Sure, Dad.

You haven't done squat with that dog in four days.

I don't think Spot needs any help in that department.

Listen, Wes, this dog is your responsibility.

You feed him, you walk him, you carry the pooper scooper.

I'm giving you one more chance, otherwise he's out of here.

Yes, sir.

Well, Spotty boy, looks like you're walking on thin ice.

about Ditchy Angela the other night. Forget her.

Everybody's talking about this new spirit guy. He was a 19th century

dairy farmer named Lars Fredriksson.

Oh, my God.

Ja, everybody.

I bring to the planet Earth the blessings of enlightenment from the

of the spirit.

I'd like to teach the world.

you mean, uh, channeling? Well, she sits in front of a bunch of people and she

gives advice in a funny accent.

Sounds like Dr. Ruth.

It's incredible.

She's answering questions about world peace, careers, the stock market.

Not bad for somebody who thinks Canada is where they grow ginger ale.

You're sure no party animal.

Peace, but stay.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Wesley!

Oh, no.

Bad dog.

Just look at all this junk.

He must have been hungry and got into Belvedere's private stash.

Oh, hoes.

Please say it wasn't the hoes.

Sorry, Mr. Belvedere.

You beast.

How were they?

I must have forgot to feed him again.

That's the last straw, Wes.

This dog is out of here.

Dad gave me one last chance and I messed up.

I'm sorry I let you down, Spot.

I just don't deserve you.

Now you have to go back to the pound.

Oh.

I'll be in my room.

George.

Wait a minute, pal.

I can't do it.

Can't do what?

Send Spot back to the pound.

But you said one more chance and he's out of here.

I know.

It's just he's so cute.

He loves you so darn much.

So don't worry, Westman.

Spot's yours forever.

And get this stuff cleaned up.

Couldn't you wait one minute?

Spot, I've tried everything to get rid of you. I treat you lousy, you suck up

me more. I don't walk, you teach yourself to use the toilet.

You drive me crazy.

No, I don't want to play pinochle again. You always win.

I'm sending you on a little trip to Hollywood.

There's this lady out there, Betty White.

She really likes animals and she'll make sure you get a good home.

It's nothing against you personally.

Maybe if I'd met you a few years ago, I don't know.

It's just, well, you ought to be with someone who really wants you and loves

you.

Hello, Federal Express?

Well, what about your friend, the queen of outer space?

Ramona is now Angela's biggest disciple.

Ah, the blonde leading the blind.

I guess I have this coming after treating Angela so rotten.

You can always make up.

Well, forget it. I can't even get near her. All these people are begging for

advice. Oh, I'm sure this will pass.

Angela will be her old self in no time.

Hello, Mr. Beaverdam.

Sounds like Angela to me.

Oh, it is.

Lars' spirit is an Emmy right now.

Probably can't fit because of all that hot air.

Hey, don't talk about my spiritual teacher that way.

Lars is the healer of humanity and the avatar of enlightenment.

Classroom double -jointed.

Oh, praise Lars.

Ramona, would you mind waiting in the car?

I'll let you brush my teeth later.

to you again.

Fine, I'll go back to the psychic fair where I'm appreciated.

Well, good. Give my regards to Lars.

You know, I have a feeling you shouldn't be talking to Angela.

You should talk to Lars.

Huh? He may be a dairy farmer, but he seems to know all the answers.

Oh, by the way, if you do make contact, tell him we're out of buttermilk.

Wesley's not at the Huffnagels.

Try the knob -nosters.

Doesn't Wesley know anyone with a normal name?

Maybe we should call the police.

I tried an hour ago. They said thanks for the warning.

You better have one hell of an explanation, kid.

I lost Spot.

How could you lose Spot? He's always one step behind you.

I guess you didn't like it here anymore, and he sort of...

Left. Yeah, well, I'm not surprised.

You treated him like a dog.

Well, you know what I mean.

Well, let's get in the car and drive around the neighborhood. He can't be

Where were you when you lost him?

In my room.

No wonder.

You could lose an elephant in that mess.

I hope you're satisfied, mister.

I don't know. Maybe I am.

Hey, what the hell is going on?

years you begged for a dog, we finally go out and get you one that makes Benji

look like a moron and you don't even want him.

So Spot can jump through a hoop.

But what about the hoops he made me jump through all those years?

What do you mean?

Every time I asked for a dog, there was always a deal.

Get your grades up. Keep your room clean.

Close the casino in the basement.

Other kids have dogs just because they're kids.

Well, you're not some other kid.

You're our kid.

And you live under this roof.

And you play by our rules.

I tried, but I couldn't win.

One day, I walked into a pet shop and looked at all the dogs and realized that

was never going to get one.

So I gave up.

Then you come in the spot and I'm supposed to jump up and down.

Well, you better keep jumping, pal. You already got one foot in the woodshed.

Yes, sir.

Wes, why didn't you... to just tell us how you feel?

I couldn't. I was too mad.

So you punished that poor dog?

That's the worst part.

I wouldn't let myself like him.

But when I was out there looking for him, I was worried that something bad

have happened to him.

Then I realized what a great dog he is.

So what are you going to do about this?

I don't know.

I'd do anything to get him back.

I'll consider that a blank check.

Spock!

How'd you find him?

I channeled Lassie.

After that, the rest was easy.

Lars, it seems like people have shied away from me all during my lifetime on

this earth.

I mean, what can I do?

Taking a bath? Might be nice.

Bless you, Lars.

Lars, this is Heather.

I would like to know why a certain friend of mine always cheated at jacks

we were seven.

Learning to lose makes the spirit win.

And why that same friend still has the yellow and gorgeous sweater I lent her

three years ago.

Pussies take the mind away from the life of a spirit.

Well, why did my best friend steal Tommy Rogers from me at that dance in ninth

grade? I did not steal Tommy Rogers.

He begged me to dance with him.

Well, you didn't have to.

Oh, sure, like I'm supposed to turn down a total bang.

Hey, what are you doing?

Yeah, what happened to Lars?

He's out milking a cow, so buzz off, stinky.

Why have you been ditching me?

I guess I thought that to make new friends, I had to dump my old ones.

But I really missed you, Angela. Even the dumb things you say.

Thanks.

Did you mean that before, when you called me your best friend?

Forever and ever, Lars.

Where's Spot?

Doing my geometry homework.

Mr. Belvedere, you knew where Spot was, but you let me go through all that.

Was it to teach me a lesson and show me what a despicable conniving rat I really

am?

Of course.

Just checking.

Good night.

Wesley, there is one other thing.

I understand how you felt about Spot.

You do?

Yes.

I felt the same way about you when I first came here.

Huh? You were little and clever and full of cute little tricks.

And I couldn't stand you either.

I thought you liked me.

That was the problem.

I did.

And since I didn't know how long I was going to be here, I didn't want to get

attached.

Well, aren't you glad you stayed?

Oh, indeed.

I look forward to having my breakfast in bed for the rest of my life.

What do you mean?

Remember that blank check?

Well, I just filled it in.

You're not going to hold me to that?

You better get to bed.

The hens lay early.

be right back.

Angela and Heather appear once again to be best of friends.

Angela even promised that if she dies before Heather, she'll visit Heather's

body as a spirit.

Heather made Angela promise to eat healthy and never play in traffic.

Wesley seems to have grown up a bit, as he's honoring his obligations both to

his pet and to me.

Wendley! Some Worcestershire sauce.

Sunday night, following Incredible Sunday, a hostage VIP becomes a hidden

in a game of cat and mouse on Mission Impossible.

After, Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in Raw Deal on the Sunday Night Movie.

Now, stay tuned for just the ten of us.

Hiya, Mr. Belvedere. Hello, Kevin.

What you got in there?