All language subtitles for mr_belvedere_s05e05_marsha_s_secret

Coming. Hey, Carl.

What took you so long?

Hey, I'm getting ready for our ski trip.
Trying to perfect my form.

So you don't fall off the ski lift like
last year.

Hey, I was stung by a bee.

A winner be.

Whatever. This is a lot safer.

Ferrari Carathon?

What? It's a contest of custom coaches.

It's kind of like a marathon. See,
everybody puts their hand on a brand new

Ferrari. And then you wait.

And the last one left wins the car.

Carl, this is even stupider than the
time he tried to fill up that Volkswagen

with eggs.

If I'd remembered to set the emergency
brake, I'd be in Guinness today.

Forget it. You're not going to talk me
into this.

Kevin, picture homecoming weekend.

Picture an ocean of blondes clamoring
for a ride.

Picture me on fresh powder.

Fine.

Hey, break a leg.

upstairs and take off some of that
makeup.

But it's the same as I wear every day.

Yeah, and I don't think that's enough.

You can bum it to school.

You watch your attitude, young man.

More coffee, Mrs. Owens?

Oh, no, it's bitter.

Hmm.

She always used to have a second cup.

Something wrong, Mrs. Owens?

I don't want to go to work.

Problems at the legal hut?

Yesterday, I spent three...

hours preparing a will for a woman who's
leaving everything to her parakeet.

Ah, but so few parakeets have adequate
pensions to see them through their

years.

That's not what I went to law school
for. Oh, come now, we must all endure a

little drudgery in our jobs.

The key is to stay careful.

Oh, by the way, Mr. Belvedere, I
volunteered you to bake 800 cupcakes for

junior high carnival in Carlaw.

Fine. Come on, Wes, I'll drop you at
school.

See you, Mr. Belvedere. Goodbye, Wesley.

I forgot my lunch.

I didn't.

When you drop, kick your jacket.

As you came through the door, no one
glared.

According to our new rival, life is more
than mere survival.

And we just might live a good life yet.

Well? Huh? Huh? Huh? All right, all
right. It's a hot car.

But, I mean, look at all these people.
What chance do I have?

Twice as much as anyone else.

What? If we act as a team, then if
either one of us wins, we can share the

Eh, come on, it's a waste of time.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Are you in the contest?

Oh, well, I... I'd do anything for a man
in a Ferrari.

I want this car.

Welcome to Custom Coaches Ferrari Car -a
-thon!

Can't you just feel the excitement in
the air? One of you is going to drive

in the creme de la creme on the road
today.

Oh, and here's a kiss for good luck.

I'm not a contestant. Who cares?

It's fun to be the judge.

Let's go over the rules.

One hand on the car at all times. No
exceptions.

No crazy glue.

And I just hope your kidneys hold up.

All right.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

Any questions?

Boy, are you dumb.

That's one down.

Um, Mr. Seferik, why do you want to sue
the President of the United States?

The feds are giving away.

I'm sorry, I can't help you.

So what am I going to do with all the
crackers I bought?

Mrs. Sepharic, your suit has no basis. I
can't take your money.

You can't take my money?

What kind of a lawyer are you?

Legal Hut, over one million served.

I have your revised will right in front
of me.

Now, the fourth revision states that you
want to leave all of your party dresses

to your daughter, Cindy.

Oh, I see. Now you want to leave them to
your son, Amos.

Yeah, the parents are always the last to
know.

Oh, you want to come in tomorrow with
more changes?

Yes? Marsha, this is Mr.

Hodnett.

Hello, Mr. Hodnett. Could you please
come to my office?

Mr. Hodnett.

Marcia, I want you to know I've had my
eye on you.

Actually, both eyes.

And I have some exciting news.

They're transferring... Marcia?

Mr. Hodnett, you were saying?

They're transferring me to the head
office.

I'm moving up to the big time.

Congratulations, Mr. Hodnett. They need
people like you at Three Mile Island.

Of course, I will. need a replacement to
run this office.

Guess who I have in mind?

Hint, hint, hint.

Me?

Why, you are sharp.

I don't know what to say.

Oh, don't say anything.

Look around you, lucky lady.

All this is yours.

Hey, Westman.

What do you got there?

It's for school. I'm making a time
capsule. So far, I've got a baseball, a

week, and a pair of Mr. Belvedere's
bikini underwear.

Hi, everybody.

Hey. Hi, Mom.

Hello, Mrs. Owens. How was your day?

Oh, fine. I did some casework, got a
promotion, drafted a couple of wills.

What's for dinner?

What was that, a promotion?

Oh, it's nothing. They want me to run
the office.

Hey, Mom, that's great. I'm so proud of
you.

So does that mean you get to fire people
and embezzle money?

Nice to have a role model, isn't it,
Wesley?

It's no big deal.

So I guess you'll be getting a raise,
huh, Mom? I suppose.

Gee, I'd love to go to Fort Lauderdale
for spring break.

Not till I get my new 10 -speed.

Hey, let's not get greedy.

Besides, your old man needs a new set of
golf clubs.

I say this calls for some champagne.

All right.

Not for you.

You're the designated driver.

We missed

you at your promotion party.

Oh, no thanks.

I don't feel like champagne.

It's flat ginger ale. It seemed more
fitting.

Mr. Belvedere, what would you say if I
told you...

That I don't want this promotion?

I don't understand.

You would? Of course.

It's a new challenge, and you may not be
feeling up to it.

That's for sure.

I remember when I was summoned to
Buckingham Palace to serve the Queen.

Up to then, I'd only served two
Viscounts and an Earl.

Not a very crisp parallel, is it?

My point is, change is good for the
soul.

Yes, I guess it is. Of course.

And if you put your mind to it, you can
do anything you want.

And I just may.

52 ,000 bottles of beer on the wall.

52 ,000 bottles of beer. Carl. If one of
those bottles should happen to fall.

51 ,999... Carl!

What? Will you shut up? We're not coming
home from summer camp.

Boy, someone sure got up on the wrong
side of the fender this morning.

Uh -oh, someone's in trouble. He's
fading fast.

He's down to the headlights. He's
bounced off the bumper.

Better luck next time, pal.

Just three more to go.

Hang in there, Kev.

Okay.

Belvedere. My name is Dan. Hi, kids.

How's school?

Well, I got a D on my trig test.

And I got detention for hiding in the
towel basket in the girls' locker room.

Oh, I've got the best kids in the whole
world.

If you're trying to break the children's
necks, could you let Heather go?

Good morning.

Honey, you just get better looking every
day.

What's with Mom?

It's very simple.

She's talked to me, and now she likes
work again.

Hey, when are you going to take my
order?

Keep your shirt on, Mac. We're breaking
in a new girl.

Hiya, cutie. Babs is my name and
waiting's my game.

cheeseburger and then the cheeseburger
with fries hold the lettuce oh okay

johnny nicks that she wants a sea burger
hold the rabbit food don't forget the

shoes you'll get the hang of it

movie last night. There's this couple
and they're in love and they're making

in the park.

Then this monster comes out of the pond
and squishes their brains out.

Don't be a lady one.

Morning. Hey, Marsh.

You up for a dinner and a movie tonight?

Oh, I can't, honey. I have to work a
double shift.

A double shift at a law office?

Oh, yeah. We're swamped. It's our
deposition day's blowout.

Kids, you notice anything funny about
your mom lately?

Not really, except she's been acting
kind of immature and wearing weird stuff

and being sort of a ditz.

Maybe she's pregnant.

Don't look at me.

Oh, Mrs. Owens, forget something?

Oh, thanks, Mr. Belvedere.

I don't know where my head is.

No, it's certainly not in there.

Then we start the bus to break home.

Oh, I do.

But I did it all. So I did what I had to
do and now I have to go to work to get

more.

To do.

See ya.

dared to go before, now get off me.

You know, you have an attitude problem.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you have a stink problem.

You guys friends?

We used to be. We were going to share
this car.

Not anymore.

Hey, that is fine with me.

Well, if I win, I'm going to sell it.

Huh?

Well, I've been out of work for over a
year now, and I've got to get my family

back on its feet.

Gosh, that's too bad.

I mean, my wife was carrying the load
for a while.

Until the accident.

The accident?

Yeah.

And it's so tough with seven mouths to
feed.

Amy, Joey, Tina, Ricky, Jimmy, Terry. Of
course, it'll marry soon.

Yeah, you forgot happy, sneezy, and
dopey.

Come on. This is a snow job. You just
want us to feel sorry for you.

You don't have any seven kids or a wife
that's been in some big, tragic

accident. Joe!

Joe, I finally found you.

What are you doing here?

Oh, honey, I wanted to surprise you.

If I win this car, then we can afford
your artificial hip.

Who needs a hip when I have a man like
you?

Hey, Belvedere.

I just went over to Legal Hut to
surprise Marcia.

They said she quit last week. George.
Where the hell has she been going every

day? Well, don't give me that.

She's stepping out on me. I assure you,
you're jumping to conclusions.

Oh, yeah?

She's acting like a kid.

She's real happy.

And she's covering up something.

What else could it be?

Maybe she's become a young Republican.

What am I going to do?

I know.

I'll confront her.

No, first I'll find out who the guy is,
and I'll break his face, and then I'll

confront her.

No. Maybe I'll have an affair of my own.

Then I'll break the guy's face, and then
I'll confront her.

Yeah, that's it.

What am I going to do?

Well, if I was as upset as you, I'd know
what I'd do.

What? Get a cheeseburger.

Hey, Johnny, dress me a pig, wash the
dish rag, and stir up the worms.

Now you're talking.

Thank you.

Hey, what is it with you, Belvedere?

My marriage is on the rocks and all you
can think about is stuffing your gut.

George, just sit down and relax.

Oh, my God.

You know, this reminds me of a place I
used to take Marsha when we were going

out.

She'd always order the meatloaf and...

I get liver and onions.

How could it happen right under my nose?

The Ringling Brothers Circus could
happen under your nose.

Oh, waitress, will you take our order?

Hold your horses!

Nice going, Babs.

Babs?

Well, hi, George.

Mr. Belvedere.

Can I tell you about the special?

And forget the specials. What are you
doing here?

I work here.

Well, you're supposed to be a lawyer.

I was.

I mean, I am.

I'm... But what happened to legalhood in
your promotion?

Haven't you ever worked really hard for
something and once you've achieved it,

it's just a big letdown?

I have.

It happened when I got to the top of
Mount Everest and found a 7 -Eleven.

I'll be over there.

George, I always dreamed of being a
lawyer.

Defending the underdog. Making people's
lives better.

But working at Legal Hut? That's not
law.

In fact, it should be against the law.

Well, if you hated it so much, why
didn't you tell me? I just couldn't.

Not after all the sacrifices you made
putting me through law school.

It wasn't so bad.

So what if it set us back 30 grand?

And you weren't around when the kids
needed you.

And we had to go out and hire Belvedere.
And then couldn't get rid of him.

You have a right to be mad at me.

I'm not mad.

To tell you the truth, I'm kind of
relieved.

Why?

Well, with all your sneaking around and
stuff.

You know.

Belvedere thought you were having an
affair.

George.

That's so sweet.

So, what's the deal?

You gonna be a waitress now?

Not forever, but I need a little time to
get my bearings, and, well, this does

help pay the bill.

What do you say we call it a draw and
I'll get each of you a hot deal on a new

minivan? What do you say?

Go for it, Carl.

Minivan's about your speed.

Owens, I'd rather die before you get
this car.

Have a heart. This tuxedo was rented.

Hang in there, Joe.

Think of Amy and Joey and Tina and Ricky
and Jimmy and Terry.

What about little Mary Sue?

I'll have to tell you after this was
over.

She's an angel now.

Kev, what if they're on the level?

Who cares?

Look at us.

We've become animals.

We don't care about anybody but
ourselves.

You're right. I'm so tired. I don't even
know who I am anymore.

Still my best buddy.

Carl, look, I'm really sorry about the
way I've been acting.

Me too.

Oh, guys, that's beautiful.

Why don't you boys shake hands?

Put it there, pal.

Mr. Belvedere will be right back.

The Israeli once wrote, everything comes
if a man will only wait.

He obviously never tried to win a
Ferrari.

But Kevin is a good sport.

And I'm sure he'll feel better about
things in a week or two after he wakes

Speaking of waiting, Marsha seems quite
happy doing just that.

At least for now.

It might seem incongruous for a lawyer
to find satisfaction as a waitress, but

as I always say, whatever turns you on.

and gobble later on Nightline TV crime
shows that turn their viewers into

informers. A useful public service or a
seedy new form of vigilantism.