Original subtitles

Hey, Mr. Belvedere, what do you think of this campaign slogan?

You're in good hands with Heather.

What are you running for, class chiropractor?

No, treasurer.

Oh, and then I think your slogan should reflect what you'll do as treasurer.

Right.

What will I do?

Well, I assume that you'll supervise the collection of class dues and exercise

pecuniary guidance over the allocation.

Oh. Well, then how's this, Logan?

Heather gives great pecuniary guidance.

Much better.

Hey, Heather. Anne.

Hello, Mr. Wait, Angela.

Before you say my name, think.

Think about what, Mr. Bilgewater?

Never mind.

Heather, I came to ask you a favor.

Will you be my campaign manager?

Oh, what are you running for?

Class treasurer.

But that's what I'm running for.

Great, we can run together.

It doesn't work like that.

Oh.

So maybe only one of us should run.

Which one?

Oh, I don't know. Whoever has the best chance to win.

Mr. Belvedere, who would you vote for? Her or me?

Who else is running?

Mom, you still want this?

Honey, that's my mink.

Yeah, can I sell it? No.

Well, you don't need it. You're only seeing how Dad never takes you anywhere.

What's the scam, Wes?

It's for my school auction. We gotta raise money to help the hungry.

Well, you could donate a batch of my homemade fudge.

Oh, they're not that hungry.

Well, we gotta come up with something.

Hallie Huffingell's bringing in a color TV, and Tommy Greenberg's dad is giving

away a free gynecology exam.

have around here that we could give away?

What about him?

How about you?

What about me?

We could auction you off. You know, you could be somebody's butler for a day.

Wesley, I don't think I like the idea of being put on a block like a prized

deer.

You probably wouldn't get much for him anyway, Wes.

Unless you sell him by the pound.

on the china never mattered before who cared when you drop kicked your jacket

as you came through the door no one bled but sometimes things get turned around

and no one sped all hands look out below

there's a change in the status quo gonna need all the help that you

can get

According to our new arrival, life is more than mere survival.

We just might live the good life yet.

Hi, Mrs. Ellen. Hi, Angela.

Tether, you better get ready for the auction.

Oh, we're going to stay here and work on our campaign posters.

Yeah, even though we're running for the same office, we're still going to help

each other.

Oh, that's very magnanimous, Angela.

Sorry.

Come on, Angela, we've got a lot of work to do. Come on, Mr. Bowder, we're

really late.

I'm coming.

Hey, check out Jeeves here.

You like it?

I wore this every day during my service with the royal family.

How come you never wear that around here?

Be serious.

I think you look very nice.

Yeah, I bet Dad will get a bundle for you. What do you mean?

Didn't Wes tell you?

I'm the auctioneer.

Yeah, my teacher asked him because in Pittsburgh he's almost a celebrity.

In that case, I'm almost impressed.

Going once, going twice.

Sold to the man in the blue blazer for $15.

You can call Dr. Greenberg for your appointment. Have fun.

Our next item, a limited edition on crushed velvet, was donated by the Steel

Town Inn just before it was closed down for prostitution.

Uh, do I hear an opening bid?

Ten bucks.

Okay, do I hear 15?

Now we're cooking 20.

Uh, did I mention the horns light up?

20, 25.

All right, going once, going twice.

Sold to the art lover in the front row.

Our next item is a true original, folks.

That'll add a touch of class to any home. Come on out, big guy.

This is Mr.

Belvedere, an authentic English butler.

Do a little spin for the folks, Jeeves.

He's got manners. He's got style.

He's got a snotty attitude.

He'll make your breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Clean your house and solve all your personal problems.

Can I have a bid?

Perhaps you should mention I worked for the royal family.

Did you hear that, folks? He worked for the royal family.

Three bucks.

Okay. Do I hear $3 .50?

I bid $10.

$15. $20.

$25. $30. Get in.

$35.

$50. Okay, $50.

Going once.

Going twice? I bid $500.

Huh? I said $500.

Okay. Going once, going twice.

Congratulations, ma 'am. You have yourself a...

The

eggs were delicious.

Thank you, madam.

May I freshen your tea?

Thank you.

May I spread Madam's marmalade?

Sure, why not?

Do you treat the Owens family like this?

I usually throw them some raw meat and stand back.

More fruit compote?

It's all so wonderful. Why don't you sit down and join me?

Oh, I'm afraid I couldn't. It wouldn't be proper.

Oh, would it be proper if we chit -chat?

Well, perhaps I could bend the rules.

I don't know what to say.

I never talked to a butler before.

Well, perhaps madam would like to ask me about my years of service with the

royal family.

Not really.

I'm just teasing.

So, did you ever spend any time like this with the queen?

Yes, but only when the prince was out of town.

Can I get you anything else, Mrs. Cartwright?

Please, call me Julia.

Very well.

Julia. Good.

Now, what can I call you?

Mr. Belvedere.

Excuse me.

Done.

Vote for Angela.

That's it?

Well, what's your say?

Vote for Heather. She's real together.

Well, I couldn't think of anything that rhymed with Angela.

Except maybe tangerine.

Look, Angela, why don't you... rhymes something besides your name.

Like what?

Oh, I don't know.

Angela in charge of your money.

Hey, that's really funny.

Oh, that's good.

What do you mean it's really funny?

What's so funny about it?

Look, Angela, I'm just trying to help you get some votes. I mean, hardly

knows who you are.

Oh, excuse me, Miss Popularity.

Just face it, Angela, you're the answer.

And she should know. She's a real dog.

I'm getting a soda.

No, thank you.

Maybe she's right.

Maybe I am a loser.

Hey, if you want to beat Heather, all you got to do is dig up some dirt.

How am I going to do that?

Hi, honey.

Hey, Marsh.

What's going on? I'm just trying to figure out dinner.

Now, what sounds better?

Chicken croquettes with raspberry thought or Portuguese meatloaf?

Gee, honey, they both sound so good.

Why don't we just order a pizza?

I'm just thinking of you.

You've probably got a lot of studying to do. Mm -mm. For once, I'm all caught

up. Great.

Would you like another slice?

No, thank you. But it was delicious.

I certainly have enjoyed our date together.

Yes, it's been great.

before I leave.

Can I buy another hour?

I'm not that kind of butler.

No, no.

I'm serious.

Would you consider making this a permanent arrangement?

I'm very flattered.

But I'm afraid not.

I'll give you twice what the Owens are paying you.

That would almost be minimum wage.

You wouldn't have to do much.

Julia, that's very generous of you.

But no.

All right.

But would you at least join me for a little farewell toast?

I have some very nice sherry.

Certainly.

To a happy future for both of us.

You like it?

It's very smooth.

And potent, too.

Well, I must be on my way.

It does go to your head very quickly, doesn't it?

Maybe you ought to sit down.

I don't know why I feel so light -headed.

It's probably the sedative taking effect.

What?

I slipped you a Mickey.

I hope you don't mind.

Thanks,

Wes. I needed that.

Morning, Dad. Just checking the flash.

Well, get in here and eat your breakfast.

By the way, you seen Heather?

I think she's taking a shower.

Honey, are you okay? You tossed and turned all night. I had this horrible

nightmare that something was chasing me.

Probably a Portuguese meatloaf.

Was it chasing you, too?

Hey, where's Belvedere?

Isn't he upstairs?

No, I thought he'd be down here.

No.

Gee, I wonder where he could be.

Hey, maybe he got lucky.

Good morning.

Rise and shine.

I don't think that's possible.

I'm sorry, but that's the only way I could keep you here.

Julia, what do you want of me?

Just some company.

The ropes aren't too tight, are they? No, they're just the way I like them.

grumpy. Look, Mrs. Cartwright. Julia.

Look, Julia, pardon my curiosity, but how long are you going to keep me like

this?

Not long, just until you feel at home.

And when I feel at home, I can leave?

Why would you want to?

Well, look, Julia, I'll have to be untied for a little while.

I need to get cleaned up.

this for daniel every day up until the end

look at this another

hostage taken in the middle east what's the world coming to well

enough of this gloom and doom what do you want to do now scratch my nose

oh lynn

I bet you didn't know I played the piano.

You're full of surprises.

Daniel and I had some wonderful sing -alongs.

You can take the moon, gather up the stars, and the robins that sing.

Now, if you don't know the words, Lynn, hum along.

You can take the moon and gather up the stars and the rocks.

What's in it? Kill you.

What happened?

Wesley took a picture of me getting out of the shower, and Angela stuck it all

over the cafeteria.

The naked truth about Heather Owens. Vote Angela for treasurer.

It's a funny place for a mole.

You are in big trouble, young man.

I'm back.

What happened?

Belvedere's not over Mrs.

Cartwright's. Does she know where he is? No. She said he split last night.

I wonder where he could be.

I bet she did something to him. Wes.

She's a real weirdo. Nobody ever goes to her house.

We're even afraid to vandalize it on Halloween.

Maybe we should drive around the neighborhood. See if we can visit any of

favorite hangouts.

Okay, but that's a lot of donut shops.

and outstanding.

I made your favorite for dinner, baked Virginia ham with raisin salt.

That's not my favorite.

Oh.

It will be.

Now, all we need is something from the wine cellar. Do you have a request?

Anything but sherry.

Oh.

Wesley, is that you?

That's very thoughtful of you. Now go away.

Stop!

I want to be left tied up.

What do you mean?

You like this kind of stuff?

I'll explain later. Now go home.

I can't.

I got grounded for taking dirty pictures of Heather.

I had to sneak out. If I show up without you, I'll really be in trouble.

trouble if you don't go, now scat.

Boy, try and rescue someone.

I hope you like Bordeaux.

Now, how about some atmosphere?

On our silver anniversary, Daniel took me to a lovely hotel in Pottstown.

We had dinner and danced and the band played this just for us.

Then they put a spotlight on us and everyone applauded.

We were married 42 years.

We never slept apart.

Very few people can say that.

Do you dance?

Not at the moment.

Daniel was a wonderful dancer.

That is, until he had the stroke.

Then he couldn't do much of anything.

I took care of him day and night, but I didn't mind.

Why won't these stupid things lie?

God, what am I doing?

You must hate me.

No, I don't.

I'm sorry.

I'll just untie you. That won't be necessary.

Are you loose?

Yes.

I have been for the last hour.

You mean you could have walked away any time you want?

Why did you stay?

I'd rather like a close shave every now and then.

I bet you think I'm crazy.

No.

Just a little lonely.

So, uh... Are you going to call the police?

I think there are better people for you to talk to.

Anyway, you didn't transport me across eight lines.

Well, I guess you want to be going now.

No, not yet.

Why? What are you going to do?

Well, at the very least, I think you owe me a dance.

and for no reason at all, Angela attacked me. No reason?

All I did was call her a dumb bimbo.

For Angela, that's almost a compliment.

Yeah, well, she called me a magnanimous moron.

Anyway, we both got disqualified.

Hello, Mr. Belmont.

Will you please tell Heather I'm returning her junk?

I don't want it around anymore.

Well, it's about time you brought that stuff back, you moocher. Well, here.

Pick it up. You pick it up, stupid.

Stupid? You're more stupid.

Personally, I think you're both stupid.

The point is, if you are determined to end your friendship, I suggest you make

clean break.

What do you mean?

You must promise never to speak to each other again.

Fine with me, too.

Well, you know, that means no more movies together, no more parties

more trip to the mall.

I can find other friends.

So can I.

Good. All right, Heather, you clean this up. And Angela, you get out, you dumb

bimbo.

You can't talk to her like that.

Oh, no? Well, if you don't like it, you can get out, too.

All right, I will. Come on, Angela, let's go to the mall.

Yeah, nobody's going to tell us we're not to go with who.

See you, Mr. Bullwinkle.

After testing the political waters and nearly drowning, Angela and Heather

are inseparable once again.

One bright note, however, neither is speaking to me.

Julia calls to say she's doing much better now she's started counselling.

I don't know why women find me so irresistible.

But eventually, they get over me.

Except, of course, for Sophia.