Original subtitles

So listen, our prom's in two weeks, and I've been thinking about it.

And Karen, you're the only girl I want to take.

Oh, this is Linda?

Oh, sorry.

Karen was the one I called before you. I just forgot to cross your name out.

Hello?

Can I cancel the tuxedo?

Can't believe this. Half these girls would have gone with me. I just waited

long to ask.

What about this Gretchen?

Our last date didn't go too well.

But she said she'd give me an answer today.

I think it's a no.

Mr. Belvedere?

Yes? I've been rooked.

Problem with your gardening?

I did a real good job, but the Andersons won't pay me. Oh?

Well, it's not my fault their lawn caught fire.

I don't think the scorched earth policy was what they had in mind.

I'm never going to make enough money to get a new bike.

Not with that attitude.

The thing is, I'm real good at getting... jobs, I'm just no good at

Perhaps you should become a defense contractor.

Come on, Mr. Belder, what am I going to do?

And the point is, Wesley, if you're smart enough to get the job in the first

place, you should be smart enough to get it done.

Hi, Leslie.

Hey, Miles.

So, you want to go do something?

No, but I think you do.

On the China Never met her before Who cares When you cop kicked your jacket

As you came through the door No one's there But sometimes things get turned

around And no one's there All hands look out below

There's a change in the status quo Gonna need all the help that we

can get

According to our new arrival, life is more than mere survival.

We just might live the good life yet.

What do you guys think you're doing?

Huh?

The marriage counselor said you guys were supposed to relate. You know, do

stuff together.

We are.

Yeah, we're ignoring each other.

Real funny, Dad. You keep saying junk like that, and you and Mom are going to

separate like you did before.

No, no, look, honey. Oh, come on, Mom.

It's a beautiful day. You're going to go out and enjoy it together.

All right.

All right. Come on, Snookums.

We'll be back in a couple hours.

Where are you going? We have no idea.

Bye.

Bye, Wendy.

I brought over the notes for our chemistry final. Oh, great. Thanks.

You know, I don't even know why I'm bothering with this junk. I was already

accepted to piss.

Speaking of college, Stanford calls. They want me, too.

Oh, that's great.

But, Wendy, California is so far away. Oh, please don't go.

Huh? That's what you were supposed to say.

Hey, come on. I'm going to miss you.

Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't say things like that. It just makes things awkward.

It's okay.

So, got a date for the prom?

Just kidding. No, I'm not. Do you?

Hey, Mr. Belvedere, look at all the money I got.

What was it? A Brinks job?

Or did you knock off a convenience store?

No, I'm owed four lawns. cleaned out two garages and pulled a tree stump out of

the ground. Well, you certainly look none the worse for wear.

Water!

Water!

Here, Miles.

out of the job. That's the hard part.

Wesley. Hey, I'm just kidding.

We split everything 50 -50. Right, partner? Yeah.

Partners.

Come home.

Hey, I saw that. Mom was reading and you were watching TV.

It's longboat.

Okay, okay.

So you want to... go someplace or just sit in the garage like we did last time?

Yes, ma 'am.

We can handle that.

I'll send someone over as soon as I can.

Thank you, ma 'am.

Another garage to clean out, Wesley?

No, a cesspool.

I'll just tell Miles it's like a hot tub.

Where do you get all these jobs?

Oh, I have these business cards made up and I put them in everybody's mailbox,

see?

W and M Limited.

We'll do anything for money.

W and M. That's Wellesley and Miles. Get it?

Very clever.

The trouble is, I'm getting more work than Miles can handle.

Unless he starts working night.

You come up against a classic business problem, a labor shortage.

I am?

The point is, you've got more jobs than you need.

So find friends who need jobs.

Hey, I'm glad I thought of that.

Yeah.

Tony, I got some yard work.

Betty, babysitting. Ray, I got a pool for you to clean.

Hey, Walter, you know anything about stained glass repair?

So fake it.

and Mr.

Ryan wants the lawn fertilized.

I think we can consolidate these.

Thanks. Boy, we sure did good today.

We'll do even better tomorrow.

Huh?

Tomorrow's Sunday.

So?

So I thought we'd go mess around or something.

Miles, IBM didn't get where it got by messing around.

We gotta take a day off once in a while.

There's more to life than making money.

I think we better talk.

Sure, Natasha, I know you were expelled, but that doesn't mean you can't go to

the prom.

No, I understand.

Yeah, I wouldn't want you to violate your parole either.

Getting a little desperate, are we? Forget it. There's nobody.

Hi, it's just me.

I forgot my chemistry book. Don't worry, I know...

Wendy looks rather radiant today.

Yeah, well, I think she's got high blood pressure.

Hey, I know what you're thinking. I don't have a date. She doesn't have a

She's going away to Stanford. I may never see her again, so why not, right?

Get it? Got it. Good.

Oh, hey, Wendy.

Um, listen, I've been thinking about what you said about going away to

Yeah?

So if you don't already have a date, I'd like you to go to the prom with me.

I'd love to.

Great.

Oh, and incidentally, I'm not going away to Stanford.

I decided to go to Pitt.

Just like you.

Oops.

We're back.

Hey there.

Hi. Are you a friend of Wesley?

No, I'm one of his employees.

But I've got dibs on the next job.

What's going on? I thought Westman and Miles were just cutting grass.

It seems that W and M Limited have become a major conglomerate. I hope

not getting carried away.

Hey, I think it's a good idea.

Teach the kid a little responsibility and show him how the real world

It's nothing personal, Miles.

It's just business.

You understand, don't you?

Yeah, sure.

I guess so.

See ya.

What's with you and Miles, honey?

I just sort of squeezed him out.

Yes,

ma 'am. I got it.

Thanks, ma 'am.

Okay, Dwayne. Here we go.

Thanks.

And do a good job this time. I don't want to hear any complaints.

So, uh, what's the story, champ? I thought you and Miles were partners.

let personal feelings interfere with the best interests of the company. Oh?

Now that Miles is out, that's me.

Wesley Cahote.

Wesley Cahote.

Wesley Cahote.

Wesley, I thought I told you to take out the garbage.

I'm trying to find somebody.

Wesley, I'm going to kill you, you capitalist pig.

What happened?

I've been babysitting for the Simpsons for three...

found a cheaper sitter from Wesleyco.

Sorry, Heather, I gave you a chance to come to the ward.

Hey, I'm not giving you half my money.

Well, that's too bad, because nothing gets done in this neighborhood unless it

goes through me.

Yes, and that includes taking out the garbage. So move it.

All right, all right.

Boy, I bet J. Paul Getty never had to do stuff like this.

Yes, I'll tell him you've called.

Oh, wait, he just walked in.

Kevin, it's Linda.

Really? Hi, it's me.

What do you mean, what am I doing for the prom? I thought you already had a

date.

He's got hepatitis, really?

That's terrific.

Actually,

I just remembered. I thought I told somebody else I'd go with them.

But let me get back to you.

Come on, Mr. Belvedere. I think Wendy would understand.

I mean, we're just going as friends anyway.

And I don't even think she cares that much about going to the prom.

Hi. Hope I'm not too early.

Wendy, it's four o 'clock.

I'm sorry.

I'll go wait in the car.

Is that my...

me in a good mood. I'm so glad.

So, what can I do for you?

Well, Wesley, pardon me for asking, but haven't you made enough money to buy

that bicycle yet?

I don't want a bike anymore.

I'm thinking about a Mercedes.

Of course, it's very nice to have a lot of money, but aren't you losing sight of

some of the more important things of life?

Oh, yeah? Like what? Oh, such as friendship, loyalty, simple common

Look, I'm sorry about my... Miles and Heather, but there's nothing I can do.

And what about your employees? I think they might appreciate shorter hours and

more pay.

Have they been griping again?

Wesley. If it weren't for me, they wouldn't even have a job.

They'd be back hanging around the playground like a bunch of bums. No,

like a bunch of kids.

Yeah, well, I'm through with all that kid stuff.

Right now it's just cutting grass and walking dogs.

But pretty soon it's going to be vending machines and fast food and miniature

golf and a casino.

And then what?

Extortion and racketeering?

I think this conversation is over.

Security!

dancer. What I lack in metabolism, I more than make up in rhythm.

Listen, I'm not too good at this whole stuff.

You want to get some punch?

Oh, you go ahead. I've got to go powder my nose.

Hi, Kevin.

Oh, Linda, hi. I thought your date was sick.

Yeah, I came with my brother.

Oh.

So I hear you brought Wendy.

Yeah.

You're always being sweet like that, aren't you?

Do you want some punch?

I'd rather dance.

Oh, sure.

Thank you for the dance.

Uh, sure.

So, Wendy, uh, you ready for that punch now?

Sure. Great.

So, you and Thumbelina have a nice dance?

Hey, she asked me, okay?

Funny, I thought you weren't any good at slow dancing. What happened? You go to

Arthur Murray while I was in the bathroom?

Hey, I don't know what the big deal is.

It's just a dance. No, no. With me, it's just a dance. With her, it's the last

tango in Paris.

Oh, come on. Give me a break, all right? Why didn't you just admit it? You wish

you'd come with her. No, I don't. Yes, you do.

I could have.

Huh?

She asked me to take her, but I told her I was already going with you. You mean

had to go with me.

Well, I'm sorry for ruining your wonderful evening. Take me home.

You said you wanted to get home. I'm getting you home. Look, if you just slow

down a little, I'll be happy to jump out. Then you can go back to your

Linda. Hey, I'm not going back to the prom, all right?

Fine. I'll just sit here and be quiet.

Fine.

There's some Kleenex in the glove compartment.

I don't need a Kleenex. I need a donut.

I eat when I get upset.

Just hang on. I think there's an all -night bakery coming up.

What happened? Why are we stopping?

Oh, this is great.

Where are the gas?

That old trick.

I know, I know.

So now what?

I don't know.

Well, I suppose I could get out and push.

Look, I'll just go back to that gas station.

It's closed, but there must be a payphone.

Sure.

Now what's wrong?

Nothing. It's just that you wouldn't be in such a big hurry to leave if it was

Linda sitting here.

Wendy, please. You know, I must have pictured this night in my head a hundred

times. And it always ended up just like this.

Except I wasn't crying and you ran out of gas on purpose.

Come on. I'm sorry.

I always get carried away thinking you might actually like me a little.

I do.

No, you don't.

I do. I like you a lot. Yeah, because I'm someone who takes good chemistry

notes. That's not true.

I like being with you. You're smart and funny.

If I didn't mention it before, you look real pretty tonight.

You're right. I do.

I don't know, Kevin. This might be all wrong.

But what the hell?

over as soon as I can.

Was it, though?

I'm sorry. Maybe your line got lost in our computer. I'll get back to you.

Problem? Boss?

What's going on? Nobody's showing up for work.

I believe it's called a walkout.

Huh?

It is a common technique used by labor when they feel exploited by management.

Especially when management is a snotty little ten -year -old.

You mean everybody's on strike against me?

Stupid kids. Where'd they get an idea like that?

Nothing personal, Wesley.

Just business.

Wesley Cole, hold, please.

Wesley, if you like, I could make some hot chocolate.

I'm ruined.

Yes, I was noticing that.

on strike.

Now they're all working for themselves and I'm back to being a nobody.

I'm sorry.

You know, I guess I had it coming.

Of course you did.

Now go make that hot chocolate.

Hey, Wesley.

What are you doing here? You come to gloat?

No, I came to show you my new bike.

I bought it with the money you gave me after you squeezed me out.

You know, that's great, Miles, but I still got a lot of jobs to finish and

the only one left to do them.

You want some help?

Why would you want to help me?

The way I treated you, I've been a lousy, no -good, low -down -thinking

That's true.

You're still my best friend.

I am?

Thanks.

Do you want to see my new bike now? You bet!

Mr. Belvedere told me you were out here.

Yeah, just doing some yard work.

Anyway, I found these books you loaned me, and I wanted to return them before I

forgot. Oh, thanks.

Oh, and here's your bow tie, in case you were looking for it. I found it this

morning in my shoe.

Yeah, I wondered where that went.

Uh, Wendy.

Listen, about what happened last night... I'm going to Stanford.

Huh? I changed my mind. I'm not going to Pitt.

Oh.

Forget it, Kevin. It's over.

I mean, we had a few laughs, we had a few tears, but it's time for both of us

move on.

Okay, if that's what you want.

Sorry, but you know me, old love -em -and -leave -em Wendy. I'm just a little

Miss Heartbreaker.

We're never going to be anything but just friends, are we, Kevin?

No.

But you can't say we didn't try.

Why? I've got to get going.

By moving to California, I've got to start working on my tan.

You know, I really am going to miss you.

That's okay.

Whatever happens, we'll always have Route 19.

to keep joking around. Go ahead, but don't blame me when you wind up in

court.

Did you hear something?

Things are back to normal in the Owens household.

George and Marsha are lovers.

Kevin and Wendy are friends.

And Wesley's back to being whatever the hell he is.

I'm not sure.

Speaking of free enterprise, I've often thought of going into business myself.

My only problem is I'm not quite sure what to sell.

My advice or my chocolate chip cookies.

I've been told both are worth their weight in gold.

At least my advice isn't fattening.