Original subtitles

Nancy, Kevin.

You know, ever since our last few moments together, I haven't been able to

you out of my mind.

Kevin Owens.

Anyway, I was thinking if you weren't doing anything later, we could... Brown

hair, medium bills, laughing eyes.

Oh, you're busy.

Sure.

Okay, bye -bye.

I don't believe this. It's Friday night and I can't get a date.

Oh, don't give up. You only got as far as the end.

This is my second time through.

I'm all better, really.

I said no.

George, we better get going.

Look, you're just getting over mono. I don't want you going off to some concert

and getting sick all over again.

But the doctor said I wasn't contagious anymore and my temperature is

practically normal.

Mr. Belvedere, feel my forehead.

Oh, it's hot. No, it isn't. Oh, then it's cold.

I get so confused trying to keep up with their little stories.

Richard said we could do it as soon as it warmed up a little.

Sorry, pal, but you know, we've been planning this trip for a long time.

I still can't believe you'd rather spend the whole weekend in some crummy hotel

room with Mom than camping out in the backyard with me.

You're right, champ, but your mom's making me go.

I don't understand it. Last time we went to New York, Dad swore he'd never set

foot there again.

He had to.

It was the only way the police would release you.

I'm leaving now.

Don't forget your tickets.

All right, you guys, I want you to behave yourselves and listen to Mr.

Belvedere, and if you need anything, I left the number of the hotel on the

refrigerator.

Yes, Mother.

All your mom's saying is if you're going to do something wrong, don't get

caught, because we don't want to have to come back early.

Right, Dad.

Bye. Bye. Have fun.

Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Owens. Bye, Angela. See you.

Bye, Ang. You ready to go?

I can't. I'm still sick.

Fudge. Well, you can still go.

By myself?

Gee, I don't know.

Do you think I should go, Mr. Butterfinger?

I'd appreciate it.

Hey, maybe Kevin will go with you. Huh? Go where? To the concert.

Oh, gee, I don't know.

It's Huey Lewis, and he wouldn't have to talk or anything.

Sure, but why not?

it indoors.

That's okay, Mr. Belvedere. You don't have to go camping with me if you don't

want to. Fine.

Probably couldn't take it anyway.

Your feeble attempt at reverse psychology is rather transparent.

Okay.

Although I'll have you know that I once spent three weeks on the Kalahari with

only a divining rod and a slingshot.

Yeah, sure.

Last time you were stuck in the Yukon and all you had was a bag of blubber.

All right, Wesley, get your gear together.

You mean we're going? Yes.

Thanks. I'll try not to make it too tough on you.

I wouldn't worry about me.

But sometimes things get turned around and no one's fed.

All hands look out below.

There's a change in the status quo.

Gonna need all the help that we can get.

According to our new arrival, life is more than mere survival.

We just might live the good life yet.

It's open.

Hi, it's me.

Oh, hey, Angela.

Heather's upstairs.

I had a real fun time at the concert last night.

Yeah, me too.

And thanks again for driving me home.

Oh, sure.

Most guys don't come to complete stop the way you did.

Usually I have to jump.

Well, I guess I'll go see Heather now.

Okay, see you later.

Don't forget to scratch out the serial numbers.

I didn't steal this stuff.

It's for our camp out.

See, you got a heater, a barbecue, and video games. The future's nothing on TV.

What, no VCR?

You won't be needing the VCR because you're not taking the television either.

Huh? No, the only things a true camper needs are a mess kit, a canteen for

water, a knife for cutting, and this rope.

What's the rope for?

In case you give me any trouble.

It's just not fair.

I mean, I bought these suspenders before anyone else was wearing them. And then

while I was sick, everybody started to. Now that I'm better, nobody is.

Angela. Huh?

Oh, no.

I was thinking about somebody.

Guy. Oh, yeah?

Who?

Somebody. What's the somebody like?

He's wonderful.

I mean, he's cute and he's real smart.

Every time he smiles, I tingle.

So who is he?

Your brother.

Wesley?

No.

Kevin.

You're kidding.

From the moment our eyes met, I knew you was the person I wanted to spend

eternity with.

Oh, brother.

So do you think he likes me?

Well, how should I know?

Well, you gotta find out.

How? Just say that I happen to mention that he's cute, and that I sort of like

him, and that I want to be the mother of his children.

And it's too fast.

Oh, that'll do. Now, arrange them around the pit, and then you can put in the

leaves and branches.

Aren't you going to help?

No, I'm still exhausted from watching you put up the tent.

How come I have to carry everything and put everything up while you just sit

there and order me around?

I have to have some fun, too.

Of course, if this is becoming too difficult for you, we can always go back

inside. No, thanks.

Up to you.

Since I did all the work, I get to light the fire. Uh -uh.

Wake me when you get it started.

Hey, Kev. Hey.

Angela told me she had a real nice time last night.

Oh, yeah?

So did I.

So, what do you think of her?

I don't know.

Do you like her?

Sure.

Enough to be the father of her children?

A lot.

Oh, great.

That's all I need.

And I kind of think she wants to go out with you again.

Well, did you tell her there are plenty of girls my own age I can take out?

You mean lie?

Look, I tried to talk her out of it. I told her once you get to know him, he's

really a nerd.

Thanks, Heather.

Sure.

Got some more wood like you told me.

Oh, we don't need it yet. Put it with the rest.

I think dinner is about ready.

Looks like something died in there.

I'm sure it has by now.

What is it?

Oh, just a little recipe of mine called Backwoods Surprise.

What's in it? A few herbs, some wild roots, and some earthworms for protein.

they get rubbery.

Well?

Not bad.

Boy, those worms were great.

Wonderful. Maybe for dessert I'll fix you a bowl of tree light.

You know, I think I figured out why you've been making me work so hard and

giving me such a tough time. Have you?

Because if you do something all by yourself... Makes you a better person,

Something like that.

So, what do we do now?

Well, if we were in the Kalahari, we would sit back and enjoy the evening

But this is Pittsburgh, and it's not quite the same thing.

Me and Dad usually watch TV now.

Yes, but I'm afraid you'll have to find some other way of amusing yourself.

What's up, too?

The mayonnaise.

I hope you don't mind me spending so much time around here, but Heather's

and she needs me.

Yeah, by the way, where is Heather?

I don't know.

I'm not bothering you, am I?

Yeah.

Not even a little?

Look, I'm going to go outside now and stir some paint.

Can I watch?

Look, Heather told me how you feel. I mean, how you sort of... Like you?

Yeah. And I'm really flattered.

But you understand, right?

Understand what?

Well, it's just... It's not something that could ever work out.

Why not?

Well, for one thing, look at our ages.

I'm 18 and you're... 16.

16, really?

Well, another thing, you're my sister's best friend. I've known you since you

were 10.

So?

So, I still think of you as this goofy little kid with pigtails and braces.

Got them all.

Yeah, well, there are a lot of other good reasons, too.

Yeah, now I'm gonna go outside and think of something.

Everybody up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up.

Come,

come, Winston.

You know Mr.

Roosevelt doesn't like to be kept waiting.

You're talking in your sleep.

Wesley, Wesley.

What are you doing at Yalta?

It's 1945.

You haven't even been born yet.

You'll do anything to irritate me.

You poisonous little pipsqueak. Hey.

What? Oh, no.

He's nobody important, Prime Minister.

Just a sneaky little reptile.

Which reminds me, you'd better watch out for Stalin.

I trust you slept well.

Not really.

Not accustomed to the sounds of the wild, hmm?

Yeah, some big fat thing kept yapping all night.

So, what are you in the mood for today?

Revenge.

I mean for that checkers game you won yesterday.

Oh. Well, I thought when we'd finished foraging for breakfast, we'd have a

little hike.

How's that sound?

How should I know? I'm just a pipsqueak.

Good morning, Kevin.

Oh, hey, Mr. Belvedere.

How's the camp out going?

Fine.

Wesley seems a bit down this morning, though.

Perhaps it's because I left him filleting a skunk.

Morning, Kevin.

Yeah, hi.

Hi, Mr. Belvedere.

What did you call me?

Huh? I'm so sorry.

Just the first time you ever called me by my right name.

Well, haven't been myself lately.

Did you get my poem?

You mean the one taped over the toilet?

I wanted to make sure you got it.

Well, I did.

Well, I'm going to go see Heather now.

Till next time.

I took Angel to that concert and she got a crush on me.

Oh, that's cute.

Come on, I don't know what to do.

Well, just tell her firmly, but nicely, that she's too young and that you're not

interested. I tried that.

And she didn't believe you? I didn't.

I mean, all I do is get dumped on by girls my own age. And now here's

who's really nice and who's not so bad to look at.

So why not go for it?

Kevin, do you have any real interest in Angela?

I mean, she's a very sweet girl.

She's also an empty -headed scatterbrain who will do anything anyone tells her.

That could come in handy.

And looking

down into the fog -shrouded grave, he saw the hand of old Mr. Sims

beckoning.

Is that it?

Wasn't it frightening?

Not really.

Yes, I suppose most tales of horror pale in comparison to your normal everyday

thoughts.

I'm tired. I'm going to sleep.

Wesley, you've been in a foul mood all day. What's the matter with you?

Nothing. Anyway, I don't want to talk about it right now.

Well, perhaps you will in the morning.

Or maybe four.

Come on in.

I really can't stay very long.

Oh, hey, that's okay.

Have a seat. I'll go get that history paper for you.

I really appreciate it.

You know, I had a real good time tonight.

Yeah, me too.

I haven't seen Lady and the Tramp since I was a little kid.

Yeah, I didn't know it was a cartoon.

Here, I hope it helps.

I thought you got an A on this.

Oh, well, if I told you I got a C, you probably wouldn't have come inside.

Well, that's a pretty picture.

Oh, please.

Where have you been?

Out.

Well, you missed dinner.

I fixed some macaroni and Velveeta. It's his favorite.

Oh, sorry, Terry. This is Angela.

Hi. She's just a friend of my little sister's.

I want to have Kevin's children, do you?

Not tonight.

Um, listen, I'm going to be going.

It's probably past her bedtime.

Oh, no, come on, wait a second.

I'll let her go.

Hey, come on, you don't have to walk. I'll drive you home. Oh, that's okay.

a big girl.

But that probably doesn't interest you.

Ready for the macaroni now?

Just leave me alone, okay?

What? What is it?

Mr. Belvedere.

Mr. Belvedere, he's so smart.

Someone you really gotta look up to.

Can't look around him, he's such a big blimp.

Hope he goes back to England and chokes on a scone.

York, you're putting breath.

Wesley, wake up. You're talking in your sleep.

No, I'm not.

But you were.

What do you mean?

Last night, you were saying all sorts of rotten things about me.

Really? You called me a sneaky little reptile.

I do that when I'm awake.

Yeah, but I always thought it was your way of showing how much you liked me.

But you said it when you didn't even know I was listening, so you must really

mean it.

That's not true.

Yesterday, Okay.

Wesley,

I was rather upset with you when I went to sleep last night.

And I suppose calling you names was my way of letting off steam.

Why would you be upset with me? I did everything you told me to.

I know.

When I agreed to come on this camp out, I wanted to teach you a lesson.

I expected you to fold under the pressure and give up.

But you didn't.

You rose to the occasion admirably.

And this irritated Mr. Belvedere no end.

I'm sorry. I'll try not to do it again.

If you prefer, I'll refrain from calling you any more names.

No, that's okay.

It's kind of fun when two people really like each other.

Right. Well, let's get back to sleep.

Okay.

Good night, you big blimp.

Sleep well, you...

Sneaky little reptile.

Bongo butt.

That's a new one.

Cheeky little nut.

What?

Chuckie. Oh, swell.

Came to apologize.

Fine, now go away.

I know you must have really liked that girl, huh?

Yeah, sort of. Well, if you ask me, she really didn't seem like your type.

Angela, anybody's my type when I have the house to myself.

Sorry.

So just stay away from me, okay? You don't know me, you just don't talk to

And why are you wearing that?

If I wasn't, I'd be naked.

Don't you like it?

Yeah, it's okay.

Kevin, what's the matter?

You're twitching.

Huh? Oh.

It's nothing. I pull the muck on my shoulder and it acts up every once in a

while.

Well, maybe it'll help if I rub it.

Feel better?

Yeah, so cut it out.

What's wrong now?

Look, maybe it's not such a good idea for you to be here.

Why?

Angela, you're real sweet and I like you a lot.

I do?

Yeah, but maybe not in such a nice way.

You know what I mean?

No.

What I'm trying to say is all I'm really interested in right now is what guys my

age are always really interested in.

You mean cars?

I mean sex, man. You love talking about sex.

Oh.

Boy, and stupid me comes in here in my nightgown with nothing underneath and

practically jumps in bed with you.

I would have let you do anything you wanted because I like you so much.

Thanks for telling me that, Angela.

So, I guess it's all over between us, huh?

Yeah. It's like I said before, it just wouldn't work out.

I mean, we're from two different worlds.

Mine's Earth.

I understand.

Well, anyway, it is nice being... by someone, even if it is in a cheap and

sleazy way.

Good night, Angel.

Good night, Kevin.

We're back!

Hello?

Guess they really missed us.

Oh, hey, guys. How was your trip? Oh, it was wonderful.

Anything new here?

Angela fell in love with Kevin and made him macaroni and cheese, but Kevin had

another girl over, and Angela freaked out.

So she went up to his bedroom in her nightie and got Kevin real turned on, so

everything's okay now, I think.

Do we get any mail?

Angela, having recovered from her infatuation with Kevin, seems to be back

her old self.

This morning, she even called me Mr.

Bellydancer.

That's for Kevin.

I think he demonstrated remarkable tact and self -restraint.

And I intend to tell him that as soon as he gets out of the shower.

At any rate, Wesley has tired of the rugged life and retreated inside.

As for me, I prefer the tranquility of the great outdoors.

That's better.