Original subtitles

Hey, Des.

Hey, Kevin. What you looking at?

Just going through my old high school yearbook. My 30 -year reunion's coming

Oh, yeah? Let me see.

Allegheny High, class of 56.

A better life through strip mining.

Hey, is this your football team?

Yeah, that's us, the Allegheny Rangers.

They took this picture right after the game where we clobbered Altoona 31 -7.

That's me in the middle there, number 17.

How come your uniform's so clean?

Maybe I washed it at halftime.

Hi, guys. Hi.

Hey, Marsha. Guess where we're going.

Pretty exciting.

I don't know.

Lumberama?

No, we're going to Johnstown.

Why? It's my class reunion.

I figured we'd drive up early, get a room for the weekend, and, you know, pal

around with the gang. It'll be great.

Yeah, sounds nice. Hey, Mom, will you and Dad in the same class together?

Of course not, honey. Don't be silly.

was your father and I went to school in different towns.

Oh. I guess I just figured Dad got left back a lot.

Anyway, I booked a room for the weekend.

This weekend?

Yeah, why?

Oh, I can't, honey. I'm going to that law symposium in Atlantic City.

Oh, right.

Well, you can still go by yourself.

I know, it's just...

I've got such a beautiful wife, I was looking forward to showing her off a

little. Oh, and I don't blame you, honey.

But the symposium is very important.

But I don't want to go to this stupid thing alone.

Dinner in five minutes.

Hey, Dad.

Why don't you take Mr. Belvedere to your reunion and show him off?

What,

nobody else was going to bring their own butler?

Yeah, don't we just like lifestyles of the rich and famous?

I don't know. Yeah, come on, Dad. I bet you two will have a blast together.

Not unless we bring explosives.

I'd love to. But with you and Mrs. Owens leaving town, I'm afraid somebody has

to stay and supervise the unholy trio.

What are you talking about? I'm 18 years old. I'm 15.

Yeah, and I'm 10, and I'll keep an eye on both of them.

Hey, wait a minute here.

Come on, Mom. You're always telling us how we've got to accept more

responsibility. But how are we supposed to if you never give us a chance? Yeah,

come on.

Hey, I guess they're going to have to wing it sooner or later.

You guys sure you're going to be all right?

Mom, we'll be fine.

So, what do you think, big guy?

Looking forward to seeing where yours truly went to school?

Not really.

Although I wouldn't mind having a word with your principal.

Never matters for who cares.

When you dropkick the jacket, as you came through the door, no one's glad.

But sometimes things get turned around and no one's spared.

All hands look out below.

There's a change in the status quo.

Gonna need all the help that you can get.

According to our new arrival. Survival. Life is more than mere survival.

We just might live the good life yet.

Hey, Belvedere.

You want to give me a hand with some of this stuff?

Oh, I'm sorry, George.

May I help you?

You got a reservation for Owens? Yes, sir.

Let's see.

Owens. Owens.

Ah, here it is.

Mr.

and Mrs.

That's us?

He's kidding.

My wife's in Atlantic City.

Well, what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

Assign the register, please.

Tell you what, I think we're going to need separate rooms.

Certainly, Mr. Owen.

I'll just scratch out Marsha and make a separate accommodation for Lynn.

Lynn.

Of course.

Sir? George.

Huh? Would you sign the register?

You do it, Belvedere.

I'm going up to my room.

Howdy, neighbor.

Ah, it's you.

Awfully quiet in here, George.

I'd have thought by now you'd been out throwing water balloons or organizing a

panty raid.

Ah, that's later.

Oh, she looks familiar.

I think I saw her in the lobby.

Did you happen to notice her, George?

She's Donna Flanagan.

Head cheerleader, homecoming queen, personality plus prettiest.

I take it she's an old flame.

Are you kidding?

She never even knew I was alive.

God, I had a thing for her.

I took home ec three years in a row just to be close to her.

The only thing I could ever work up the nerve to say was, I think your cupcakes

are burning.

That certainly would have swept me off my feet.

Look, George, that happened a long time ago. Why don't you just go downstairs

and say hello?

Why? So she can give me that who -the -hell -are -you look.

and start talking to somebody else?

Come, come, George.

You must be used to that by now.

Wesley, are you still there?

Yes, just more.

Wes, Mom and Dad have been gone for hours.

They're probably just hiding in the bushes.

But the minute I try something whammy, they come busting in here and I'll be

grounded for life.

Well, if you ask me, you're wasting valuable screwing around time.

That's true.

Who the hell are you?

Hello, Cindy.

Hey, it's Kevin.

Listen, I've got the house to myself all weekend.

I figured I might throw a little bash tonight.

You want to come?

Well, yeah.

There'll probably be some cute guys here.

Yeah, great. I'll see you then.

Bye -bye.

Hey, Kev, I need to reply.

Yeah, what's the problem?

Mom and Dad and Mr. Belvedere have been gone almost five hours, and I haven't

done one thing wrong yet.

So?

So help me think of something bad to do.

Yeah, I'd love to, Wes, but I've got a party to arrange.

What? Mom said absolutely no party.

See ya. Hey, where do you think you're going?

Me and Angela are going to this new club downtown called Splash. It's supposed

to be real intense.

Downtown?

I just hope the voices don't start.

Hey, Belvedere, you think I look okay?

You look fine.

You sure? I mean, I haven't seen these people in 30 years. I want to make a

impression.

George, you look very nice.

Got to get your name tags.

Hi, I'm Penny Nichols.

Remember? Best organizer, Perkins.

Yeah, sure.

I'm George Owens. Remember me?

Not at all.

I'm going to go mingle. Have fun.

No, no. Now, don't you tell me.

You're Scooter Stilansky, right?

You're that boy that used to hide under the bleachers and look up all the girls'

dresses.

I did no such thing.

Oh. Would you like to?

So Pete Rose says to me, he says, George, I don't care if you must quote

long as you do it verbatim.

George.

George, can I see you for a minute? Ah, sure, Belvedere. Excuse me, guys. I've

got to go have a word with my butler.

Can we go now?

No, I'm having fun.

I mean, with my column and everything.

I'm kind of a celebrity around here. I'm thrilled for you, George.

That doesn't help me with Pecky Penny.

What's the matter, Governor?

Is she talking your ear off? It's not my ear I'm worried about.

Lee, are you trying to hide from me?

Yes.

Isn't he terrible?

Come on.

You two kids have fun.

Oh, I'm sorry. That's all right. I should have watched where I was going.

Yeah, well, I gotta go. George, don't you remember me?

Donna. Donna Flanagan.

Oh, right.

Right, sure, I remember.

I guess I'm just a little surprised you remember me.

Oh, now how could I forget the fellow that pulled a casserole out of the oven

without a potholder?

I guess I always thought potholders were for sissies.

Want to?

Huh?

With you?

Yes?

Yeah, sure.

What happened to everybody?

Where's your party?

It left.

Sure didn't stay very long.

Yeah, well, I guess they were expecting sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

Maybe I should have come down and seen her.

I'm back.

Hey, what are you doing here? It's not even 11 o 'clock yet.

Yeah, I thought you were going to spend the night at Club Trash, Club Slash. And

I never even got in.

Why? What happened?

Well, me and Angela were standing in line in these really...

guys with shaved heads and bicycle chains came up to us, started telling us

were their kind of women.

Well, Angela got real nervous and broke out into hives, so... Well,

sounds like you had more fun than I did.

Yeah, I'm going to bed.

Yeah, me too.

Hey, what's the matter with you guys?

Mom and Dad are gonna be home tomorrow and we still haven't done one bad thing.

Well, we tried.

Yeah, you coming?

No.

there I shouldn't be doing, and I'm not gonna rest till I find it.

Yeah, great, Wes.

Just don't burn down the house.

Okay.

And congratulations to Peg O'Donnell, class of 56 alum, with the most number

children.

I guess you're going to want to find a better partner.

George, you're a wonderful dancer. Come on. Yeah, well, I guess I am when I'm

dancing with you.

Of course, my wife always says I got two left feet.

Is that why she didn't come?

Huh? Oh, no. She had to go to Atlantic City.

That's over 300 miles away.

Yeah, about a six -hour drive.

Three if she knew what I was thinking.

Well, you two seem to be hitting it off.

Oh, it's you.

Donna Flanagan, this is my friend Lynn Belvedere.

Belvedere, this is my friend Donna Flanagan.

It's a pleasure.

Although actually I'm not George's friend, I'm his housekeeper.

Although this weekend I'm just his keeper.

George and I were thinking of going into the lounge for a drink.

Huh?

Oh, right.

You don't want to come, do you?

Thank you for your gracious offer, but I think I'll stay here and enjoy this

delicious punch.

Great.

It's Wesley's favorite.

Oh, Wesley?

That's George's youngest boy.

Yes, George. Were you expecting someone else?

Huh? Uh, no. My TV's on a fritz. They're sending someone up to fix it. I see.

And you usually keep champagne on ice for hotel maintenance?

Yeah.

All right, all right. So Donna said she might stop by for a nightcap.

It's a big deal.

Nothing wrong in that.

What's that supposed to mean? Excuse me?

Hey, I know what you're thinking.

George, the high school nerd.

finally gets a chance to crown the prom queen, and he jumps in with both feet

and the hell with the folks back home, right?

Look, George, you're a grown man.

You're entitled to do what you want.

Yeah. And now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll turn in.

I'll see you in the morning.

You changed.

I think we both have, George.

No, I mean you changed your dress.

Oh, yeah.

You like it?

School colors, remember?

Yeah, black and blue.

How could I forget?

George, could I come in?

Oh, yeah, sure.

So... Oh, this is a lovely room.

Thanks. I really haven't done much with it.

Anyway, you want to sit down or something? Oh, thanks.

Oh,

there it is.

You have a beautiful family, George.

Yeah, I know.

Sorry I sat on them.

Oh, that's okay. They're usually pretty forgiving.

I was just thinking about you.

Uh, so how's Atlantic City?

Oh, it's been very busy. Yeah, just one seminar after another.

And how's the reunion? Did anybody remember you?

Oh, yeah.

One or two people.

Oh, Belvedere's fine.

Yeah, he went to bed right after the bunny hop.

Actually, I've been thinking of turning in myself.

I love you, too.

Hit me.

Sorry about the interruption.

This is Marsha, huh?

Yeah.

Funny, I always thought I'd be in a picture like this.

Husband, a couple of kids, white picket fence, the whole deal.

So what happened?

What usually happens when the head cheerleader marries the captain of the

football team, she winds up being a cocktail waitress and he... Oh, I don't

know where the hell he is.

But you could have found somebody else.

Not that easy, George.

All the best men are taken.

I've been waiting 30 years to do that.

Was it worth the wait?

It was everything I dreamed about.

But I take it that was a good night, huh?

Yeah, I guess so.

Funny how things change in 30 years.

I'm not the prom queen anymore, and you're sure not the guy who used to

me around in the halls.

The big goof with the crew cut.

Yeah, let it grovel.

Good night, George.

Bye.

See you in ten years?

It's okay, Belvedere. Nothing happened.

I'm glad, George.

I wish I could paint a theme for myself.

Well,

nice try, Wes.

Where did that come from?

From me.

I missed you. Oh.

So, did you have a good time?

Oh, yeah, it was okay.

How about you?

Uh, it could have been better.

But I'm glad it wasn't.

What do you mean?

Oh, nothing. It's just, uh...

This girl I used to really like showed up, and I danced with her.

Oh, well, that's nice.

Yeah, well, we had a couple of drinks and talked about old times, and next

you knew, she was up in my room.

Then what?

Then nothing.

I mean, I had my chance, and I almost took it, but I didn't.

Because I love you.

George.

Besides, you called.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Come on.

Hi, everybody.

Hey, Mom. Well, how'd you guys do?

Oh, we behaved.

Yeah, Mr. Belder says we're turning into responsible adults.

Probably just a phase.

Did you gamble?

A little.

Well, you see, a few of us law students sat together, you know, for a couple of

drinks and to talk about old times.

And before you knew it, well, there I was out in the casino.

Then what?

I stayed up all night playing blackjack and lost $300.

What?

Hey, you mean the only one who did anything bad this weekend was Mom?

Well, not the only one.

Note on my first high school reunion.

George has returned with his fidelity intact.

and seemed to be at peace with his memory of Donna.

I wish I could say the same about my memory of Penny.

She insisted I give her a number where she could reach me.

So I gave her the first one that popped into my head.

I hope Prince Charles doesn't mind.