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Let me guess.
You're doing your impression of Wesley.
Nope. A lost student on spring break.
Congratulations.
Will you be throwing things on the floor all week?
I'm sorry, Mr. Belvedere.
It's just that I've got some time off and I've got to figure out what to do
myself.
There's a load of laundry upstairs.
Oh, Mr.
Belvedere. Oh, Mrs. Owens.
Hey, Marsha. Hi, honey.
That's it.
I am through with show business.
Uh -oh. What's this?
A mutiny on the HMS Pinafore?
What happened, honey?
They canceled the play.
Congratulations, Wesley.
Normally, you just get yourself kicked out.
Hey, I didn't do anything.
Mrs. Futterman, our director, got sick.
Oh, that's too bad.
What's she got, the flu?
I don't know. The guy taking her away said she needed a long rest.
And of course that had nothing to do with you.
No, I was behaving myself.
Because I'm that thorn, I have to set a good example.
And my singing was getting better, too.
I am the captain of the pin -off board. Excuse me. I'm the captain.
Honey, honey, honey.
Are they going to get you kids a new director?
I don't know.
If one teacher nervous breakdown, suddenly they're all afraid of you.
Their school said he's going to try to find a parent to volunteer.
That's nice.
Hey, Mom, what about you?
You're on vacation, aren't you?
No.
Well, I mean, yes, I am, but only for a very short while.
And I guess you've got to work, huh, Dad?
Afraid so, Jim.
never going to get to be captain of the pinafore.
Hey, maybe Mr. Belvedere could direct it.
Yeah, that's a great idea, Dad.
I mean, Mr. Belvedere is English, just like Gilbert and Sullivan.
Yeah.
And he loves kids.
Boy, Mr.
Belvedere, have we got a treat for you.
If it's not a milk bone, I'm in very big trouble.
Never met her before.
Who cares when you dropkick your jacket? As you came through the door, no one
glared. But sometimes things get turned around and no one's spared.
All hands look out below.
There's a change in the status quo.
Gonna need all the help that we can get.
According to our new arrival, life is more than mere survival.
We just might live the good life yet.
I'm called Little Buttercup, dear Little Buttercup. Though I could never tell
why. But still I'm called Buttercup, dear Little Buttercup.
Sweet little buttercup.
Evan.
Hey, I didn't hear a thing, Mr. Buttercup.
Evan, it's just a song from H. and Miss Pinafore. I'm directing your brother's
play.
Why? I don't know. Share masochism?
Mom, you're reading again.
Huh? You promised me you wouldn't study during spring break.
I'm not, really.
Jessica was so mesmerized by his bedroom eyes, she was barely aware of his
caressing hands.
This is trash, young lady.
No, it's not. It's a romance novel. They're sold in the finest supermarkets.
a couple of weeks off.
Oh, don't worry. I won't bother you.
No, I mean, I thought we could spend some time together.
You know, do some mother and daughter stuff.
You mean like argue?
No.
I mean like go shopping.
Just the two of us.
Ooh, great.
Well, why don't you pick me up after school and we'll go to the mall?
Oh, well, I was thinking we could go downtown.
I hate the stores downtown. Why can't we just go to the mall? Heather, you spend
your life at that mall.
But Mom...
your break was? Two weeks.
Well, if you can take it, I can take it.
Thank
you.
Wesley, I'm in charge of this fiasco, not you.
I'll cut the chorus my way. Thank you, Jesse. We'll be in touch.
Next victim!
Hi, I'm Rebecca Rose.
My parents are separated.
My dog is sick.
And singing's the only joy I know.
be in the sailors chorus thanks mr belvedere is that all yeah that's it
i'm sorry there's such a bunch of loxes wait wait wait there's still a tommy
sullivan tommy i forget mr belvedere he probably didn't even show up he's kind
of shy oh all right
You were just about to leave. Oh, so long.
Tommy!
Since we're all here, you may as well sing for us.
Oh.
I don't really know any songs.
Oh, come, come, Tommy. You must know something.
It doesn't have to be anything special.
I know Silent Night.
Fine. Sing that.
I hope you guys shoplifted some of that.
Dad.
Oh, George, we had the best time.
We walked around. We split up hot fudge sundae. We talked. It was just
wonderful. Hot fudge sundae, huh?
Did you charge that, too?
Hey, I think it's great you and Heather are doing stuff together.
You know, George, it wouldn't hurt for you to spend a little more time with
Kevin. Who?
Next year he'll be a senior, then he'll be off to college.
I know.
I think you'll wish you'd spent some quality time together while you had the
chance.
Hey, Dad.
Hey, Kev. How's school?
Oh, okay, yes.
Hey, Kev.
Yes.
You want to do something together?
Just the two of us?
You know, before it's too late.
It's too late.
What do you mean? Are you okay, Dad?
No, I'm fine.
I'm talking about you.
Me?
Why?
What have you heard?
Nothing.
Look, I'm going to go upstairs now, Dad.
I'm going to lay down for a while.
Good idea, Kev.
That wasn't so bad.
take five and let Mr. Belvedere clear his head.
But I haven't finished my song yet.
Yes, well, we want to save something for the opening night, don't we?
Yes, that's true. Maybe I should rest my voice.
Maybe it should rest in peace.
I'm going to have a nice break.
Oh, Tommy.
Yes, Mr. Belvedere, did I do something wrong?
No, not at all. You've been very good.
I'm just curious.
Would you mind singing the song on page 98?
But that's not a Wesley song.
I know, I know.
But sing it anyway, just for fun.
Now, why don't you go and join the others?
Okay, Mr. Bobbitt.
Hi, Wesley.
What's going on? Is Tommy going to be my understudy?
No, not exactly.
Well, how come you're singing my song?
Look, Wesley.
We all want to put on the best possible play, don't we?
Yeah. And if you were the director, how would you go about it?
I'd give me my song back. Aside from that.
You're giving Tommy my part, aren't you?
Wesley, you'll be in the chorus.
I don't want to be in the crummy chorus. Who's going to hear me there?
Oh, I don't know.
Certain breeds of dogs.
This isn't funny, Mr.
Belvedere. Oh, look, Wesley, I'm sorry.
I know what this has meant to you, but I have to do what is best for the play.
You understand that, don't you? Yeah, I understand, all right.
I quit.
We're back.
Where have you guys been?
Just out, doing stuff together.
Yeah, Dad and I walked around for a while. We split a hot pretzel, and then
bought me some underwear.
It was great.
Hey, Dad.
Hey, champ. How's the captain of the Pinafore doing?
Mr. Belvedere made me walk the plank.
Huh?
Mr. Belvedere gave somebody else Wesley's part.
What?
felt the other boy could sing just a little bit better.
Can you believe that?
I am that captain of the pin.
That's still no reason.
Mr. Belvedere said you could still be in the chorus, right, honey?
Chorus? Big wow.
Hey, champ, the chorus sounds like a lot of fun to me.
I'm gonna go upstairs.
Yeah, come on, Wes.
I'll show you my new underwear.
Thanks, Kev. You always know how to cheer me up.
I'm back.
Mr. Belvedere.
I take it you've talked to Wesley.
Yeah, he mentioned something about you giving him the old heave -ho.
Look, both of you, I didn't enjoy it.
But Wesley simply wasn't up to the part, and I felt I had to be objective.
Mr. Belvedere, don't you think you're getting a little carried away?
Yeah. It's just a stupid little school play.
It's not like opening night on Broadway or anything.
No.
Not yet.
Oh,
look, here you are at your fifth birthday party.
Do you remember how chubby you were?
Mom, please turn the page.
Oh,
there you are at the seashore.
Hey, Wes, honey, come here. You want to see a real cute picture of your sister
in a bathing suit?
No, thanks. I'm depressed enough.
I'm talking to you again.
My prayers have been answered.
Listen, I've been thinking about what you said, and if Tommy has more talent
than me, then he should be the captain.
I'm glad you feel that way.
And if you'll still have me, I'd be proud to be in the chorus.
Fine, Wesley.
Thank you.
And I promise to do my best to help make this the most memorable school play
ever.
and I just wanted to tell you that most of the credit goes to me.
At any rate, the curtain goes up in two hours.
Your parents and your friends will be out there, and I'm sure you'll all do
best. Any questions?
Yes, Tommy.
Are we really going to do this?
No. We're all going bowling, you silly little twerp.
At any rate, all go home, rest up, and don't eat anything that'll clash with
your costume.
Tommy.
Mr. Belvedere. Look, it's perfectly natural to be nervous before a
I am.
You are?
Certainly. I mean, it's my name up in chalk, just like yours.
So remember this.
You're going to be fine.
Because you are the captain of the Pinafore and a right good captain, too.
Thanks, Mr. Belvedere.
You sit down right next to me. Sure, Mom.
Hey, I don't see Wes's name anywhere in this thing. Oh, well, it's got to be
here somewhere.
Oh, here it is, right down here.
Yeah, at the bottom.
Look, George, I'm very proud of Wesley.
I mean, he's used to being the center of attention.
And I think he's handling this situation quite well.
I know.
It's just, look how big Belvedere's name is.
Amen.
So what did you guys think of the play?
It was very good.
What about me? I was pretty funny, huh?
Yeah, you were a laugh a minute.
I mean, I just figured I was making mistakes anyway. Why not make them
entertaining?
I mean, you gotta admit, I was hilarious when I burped during a love scene.
Where's Mr. Belvedere?
I don't know. I left before he had a chance to thank me.
I don't think Belvedere's gonna be in any mood to thank you, pal.
Yeah, well, I... I just hope he doesn't start yelling and calling me names like
he does. He'll bust my eardrums. Hello, everyone.
Uh -oh.
Mr. Belvedere, we all enjoyed the play.
Yeah, and I usually gag on junk like that.
George.
Was there something you wanted to say to me?
I don't think so, Wesley. Shall we?
At any rate, now that I've taken a week off my job...
And a year of my life.
I'm pleased to say the maiden and final voyage of the HMS Pinafore went
relatively smoothly.
Save for one vengeful crewman whom I wouldn't mind seeing laugh to the mouth.
Speak of the devil.
Come in, Wesley.
How did you know it was me?
Just a lucky guess.
I couldn't sleep.
I wonder why.
You're just mad because I stole the show.
You didn't steal it. You vandalized it.
Oh, yeah? I didn't think you'd notice.
Well, what's that supposed to mean?
I don't know.
Winchester best friend Tommy.
Oh.
He's the only one you care about.
Helping him, hugging him, calling him a stupid little twerp.
I thought I was the only twerp in your life.
Well, someone like Tommy comes along.
Someone who needs a little extra guidance and compassion.
So? So, just because I give someone else a little help doesn't make you any less
special to me.
But the whole time I was in the chorus, you didn't yell at me or call me a name,
even once.
Oh, Wesley, believe me, I wanted to strangle you on several occasions.
But I just couldn't find the time.
You mean it?
Of course I do.
Now get back to bed, you snotty little twerp.
Morning,
Heather. I'm not going. Huh?
Mom, I love you. But if I have to relate to you one more time, I'll go nuts.
Just about to tell you that we can't do anything today because I have to go to
the law library.
Oh, sorry.
I guess I did overdo it a little.
Oh, that's okay, Mom.
I like hanging out with you, you know? You just can't force it. It has to be
more natural, spontaneous.
save for one particular crewman whom I wouldn't mind seeing lashed to the
Actually, I would never do a thing like that to Wesley, although it was a lovely
thought.
Anyway, one can hardly blame the lad for being a bit jealous.
There's just not enough of me to go around.
Thank you.
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