All language subtitles for mr_belvedere_s02e13_the_teacher

Wesley, it's still your move.

I'm still thinking.

Has it anything to do with checkers?

They have.

How do you think I look?

Groovy. You really think so?

Yeah, sure.

Gosh, I didn't know kids still used that
word.

We don't. I heard it once in a
documentary.

Well, Mr. Owens, joining the mob squad?

Anniversary of Mom and Dad's first date
ever. You know, way back in the 60s.

Yeah, we're going back to the first
place we ever went together. This little

coffee house in Altoona. And I thought
it would be fun if we dressed up for the

occasion. Sounds kicky.

One word, you're fired.

Then I better go.

Well, I think you look just as handsome
as you did that first night you showed

up on my father's doorstep.

He couldn't stop laughing either.

Well, I think you guys look neat.

Thank you, honey.

Sort of like the Jetsons.

Come on, George. It'll be romantic.

We'll have espresso.

Okay.

Okay. I just hope this place is dark and
empty.

I've had most of Altoona's like that.

Have a boss time.

Where's Mom and Dad?

They just left.

Come on, Kim. Mom says you've got to
drop me and Angela off at the movies.

Oh, fine.

Well, Wesley, it looks like it's just
you and me.

Shall we finish the game?

Or would you like to surrender now?

I gotta go.

Where?

I'm counting out in Ricky Rondinello's
backyard.

Oh, right.

Hey, what are you gonna do?

Oh, I don't know. Just relax.

Maybe read a book.

Another one? I think you read too much.

of time.

Baby's right.

I do read too much.

Get turned around and no one's fed.

All hands look out below.

There's a change in the status quo.

Gonna need all the help that we can get.

According to our new arrival, life is
more than mere survival.

We just might live the good life yet.

Good morning, Wesley.

Are you still mad about having to pick
me up last night?

I don't want to talk about it.

Oh, come on, Mr.

Belvedere. It wasn't my fault.

Mrs. Rondinella said we could build a
campfire.

I don't think she meant in the middle of
the den.

It was cold outside.

Besides, Ricky's the one who started
throwing the flaming marshmallows.

Just shut up and eat.

I just assumed you'd like it that way.

Morning, everybody.

Good morning, Kevin.

How was your date last night?

It was okay.

Just okay?

While straightening up, I found these.

They were stuck between the cushions of
the living room couch.

I thought perhaps they might belong to
your date.

Not my date. I couldn't even get her
coat off.

Oh, there they are.

Thank you, Mr. Gilder.

How was your little camp out, honey?

Great, Mom.

I never had oxygen before.

Okay, anybody want to go shop with your
mom and me? We're going to Lumberama.

I'll pass.

I'll go.

Come on, Mr. Belvedere. You can come,
too. We can play with the power tool.

Don't tempt me, Wesley, but Mr.
Belvedere has beds to make. Have fun.

So, are you coming, Wes?

No, I think I'll just stick around here.

Up to you.

Come on, honey.

Okay, see you later.

What do you mean?

He's lonely.

I mean, we're always going places,
always doing stuff.

But all Mr. Belvedere ever does is stay
home by himself.

He likes being alone.

Well, I think it's finally getting to
him. I mean, he still yells at me when I

do something wrong, but he doesn't seem
to enjoy it as much.

Come to think of it, he does seem a
little edgy lately.

So what are we going to do?

Hey, Wes, you know what I think Mr.

Belvedere really needs?

A dog?

Look what I got.

Leslie, where did you get them?

I found them at church. They were coming
out of bingo.

Excuse me, are you the nurse?

Huh? The little boy promised a free
blood pressure test.

I'm sorry, there's been a mistake. You
all are going to have to leave.

Hey, what are you doing?

You're all going to have to go now.

But we just sat down.

Sorry, the clinic's closed.

Closed?

That's where the bomb is.

What did you do that for?

Wesley, are you nuts? You are not going
to find someone for Mr. Belvedere by

dragging in old ladies off the street.

The young ones wouldn't come.

All right, tell us what we're going to
do with this. I picked it up at the mall

today. What is it? It's a questionnaire
from the computer dating place.

Pick your perfect mate scientifically.

to do is have Mr. Belvedere answer these
questions and the computer will find

him the perfect woman.

Oh boy, let's go have him fill it out
right now. Oh, Wesley, Wesley, Wesley.

We can't just ask him straight out. We
gotta be sneaky.

Do you think love and commitment should
precede sexual intimacy?

thing for school. Whose school? Masters
and Johnson's?

I gotta go now, Mr. Belvedere. Bye.

What you doing, Wes?

Finishing up my mural for the open house
at the school.

Oh.

Oh, gee.

Uh, honey, you want to come take a look
at this?

What exactly is it, Wes? It looks a
little grisly.

It's my history of punishment. in
colonial America.

I kind of wondered why that lady was on
fire.

Oh, she's a witch.

And this guy got drunk, so he's in the
pillory. And he's getting dart and

feathered because he liked the English.

And she's getting dunked for fooling
around while her husband was away.

Well, honey, this is all very colorful.

But I thought you said you were going to
paint Betsy Ross sewing the American

flag. I did.

That's her down there with her feet
chained together.

Your hands are free.

Keep up the good work.

Oh, you're still doing that?

Hey, what'd they tell you at the
computer dating place? Forget it. They

they got nobody with Mr. Belvedere's
interest.

You're telling me there's nobody out
there who likes opera and eats corn

Hey, Wes, what about your open house?

Huh? Well, there's gonna be a lot of
women there.

How's your salute to cruelty coming
along?

Great. You can see it all growing up
when you come to my open house at

The last time I went anywhere where
people knew you, I barely got out alive.

That was just church.

This is different.

Yeah, well, anyway, here's my classroom
where I do everything.

Fine. Just remember to introduce Mr.
Belvedere the way he told you to.

From the fire.

Anyway, Mrs. Rondinella, this is Mr.
Belvedere. He's no blood relation, is

responsible for my actions, and doesn't
particularly care for me.

Okay? Thank you.

Anyway, I'll leave you two alone.

Come on, Ricky.

Well, is Mr.

Rondinella here?

He turned 40 and moved to California.

Or perhaps when he turns 50, he'll move
back.

Excuse me.

Hey, what happened?

Wesley, don't ever leave me alone like
that again.

But you're supposed to meet people and
mingle.

Wesley, this is an open house, not a
cocktail party.

Hey, let's go over there and talk to
Patty Heifer's mom. I think she's giving

you the eye.

What are you talking about, Wesley?

Nothing.

Wesley, what are you up to?

I just figured it'd be nice for you to
get out and meet some people.

you wouldn't be stuck home without a
date on Saturday night.

Wesley, that's really very sweet of you.

But it's quite unnecessary.

Now, can we go?

Okay. I just got to get something out of
my locker first. Be right back.

Don't dawdle.

What goes through a child's mind?

Compelling, isn't it?

I want to stop looking, but I can't.

Sort of like a traffic accident.

Which one is yours?

The one who did this.

Wesley! You're not his father. No, I'm
sort of a temporary guardian.

His parents couldn't come.

I guess they needed the rest.

You seem to know Wesley quite well.

Hello,

Wesley.

Good evening, Mrs. Cartola.

What are you talking to her for?

She seems very nice.

She's not nice. She's my teacher.

She's always giving me a hard time.

I knew there was a reason I liked her.

Lastly, did you finish that whole carton
of chocolate milk?

Of all the classrooms and all the
schools and all the world, Mr. Belvedere

to walk into mine.

to meet somebody.

Mrs. Carstle is not somebody. She's my
teacher.

Well, what's wrong with that?

Teachers aren't supposed to go out. It's
unnatural.

Come on, kids. Let's finish clearing the
table.

But that's Mr.

Belvedere's job.

Well, do you know Mr. Belvedere's
getting ready for his date?

Well, I still don't understand why you
and Dad are letting him go out on a

school night.

Mr.

Belvedere is a grown man.

He doesn't need our permission or our
advice.

You decent?

For the time being.

Brought you a little something might
help you out tonight.

Oh?

You give this to Miss Crabtree, she may
keep you after school.

That's too cheap and everything.

Yeah, it's fun.

So I guess you're getting a little
nervous, huh?

Not at all.

If you want, I'd be happy to give you a
few pointers.

If we were going bowling, I would be
happy to ask.

Fortunately, we're stuck with the opera.

Oh.

Anyway, I got one thing I know you need.

She's picking me up.

Oh? Is she paying for you, too?

They usually insist.

I'll get it.

Good evening, Wesley.

Mrs. Garzola, what are you doing here?

I'm picking up Mr. Belvedere.

Wait here. I'll get him.

Sorry, won't you please come in? Thank
you.

I don't know what's gotten into Wesley.

He's usually so polite.

I'm his teacher, dear. Don't con me.

Mrs. Farsola, you remember my husband,
George?

Yes, we met after Wesley's little
incident at the Natural History Museum.

Hey, if I told that kid once, I told him
a thousand times, don't lean against

the dinosaurs.

I want to apologize for raising my voice
at our meeting. Just, I got a little

upset reliving it.

We understand.

And I'm sorry I had to slap you.

It's okay.

Hello, Isabel.

All set, Lynn. Ready when you are.

Have a nice time.

Oh, Wesley, have you shown your parents
that spelling test?

No. Wesley?

Ain't no spells, no.

Wesley!

Go right upstairs, young man, and bring
us back that test.

Okay. Come along, Isabel. We don't want
to miss the opening hour, yeah?

Do we still have time to stop and pick
up a couple of corn dogs?

There's always time for corn dogs.

This is a nightmare.

Well, thanks for walking me to the door.

It's the least I could do.

Aren't you going to invite me in? I
spent a lot of money tonight.

Isabel, I've had a lovely time. Please
don't ruin it.

Come on in. I'll make us both some
coffee. Oh, I'd love that.

after Isabel and me.

You're taking her out again?

Mm -hmm.

We're going to a little indoor picnic at
the art museum.

I'm bringing the dessert and Isabel is
bringing the wine and cold chicken.

But it's your day off. We always do
something together on your day off.

I know.

That's why it seems that I never have
one.

Come on, Wesley.

I'll be home early this evening.

Perhaps we can do something together
then.

Yeah, sure.

Don't you have an essay you should be
working on?

Man, does he have to tell you
everything?

You can have one if you like.

I don't want one anymore.

Don't talk to me.

I wasn't.

This is all your fault.

Bye.

Hey, Kevin.

Hey, Heather.

liking somebody else instead.

Oh?

Does my little brother have a crush on
somebody?

No!

I'm talking about Mr. Belvedere and my
stupid teacher.

They've been going out every day for the
past two weeks.

So?

Now you can start on the erasers.

Yes, ma 'am.

I meant outside.

Cold outside.

Maybe you should have thought of that
before you put the chewing gum in

Henrietta Huffnagle's hair.

I told you to get rid of it.

Ouch.

Hello, everyone.

Oh, hello, Lynn.

Hey, what are you doing here?

I believe Mrs. Costello wants... Talk to
me.

Hey, when I'm bad, you're supposed to
call my mom, not your boyfriend.

Wesley.

Apparently, Mrs. Carsteller received a
very disturbing letter.

Yes, this came today. I found it in my
box in the school office.

The man who calls himself Lin Belvedere
is not what you think.

He has a wife in England and about eight
kids who are all looking for him.

Stop seeing him for your own good.

Sincerely, The informer.

P .S.

He's wanted in three states.

Actually, it's four.

What kind of twist is mine would write
something?

Perhaps the same one that could write
something like this.

Hey, that's my essay.

What are you doing with that? I haven't
even turned it in yet.

I thought perhaps you'd like to read it
in front of the class.

What class? There's nobody here.

We're here.

Go ahead, Wesley.

Why Helping People Stinks by Wesley T.
Owens.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far
away, there was a guy who couldn't get a

date on Saturday night.

So his best little friend in the entire
universe fixed him up with a womanoid

from planet Bimbo.

And they fell in love and got married
and moved to another solar system.

So now the little friend is all alone
and drifting aimlessly through space.

All because he was a jerk and tried to
do something nice. The end.

Very nice, Wesley.

Yes, it's a very imaginative story.

It's not just a story.

It isn't.

It's about us. It is.

Now, what does it take to get through to
you people?

Wesley, Mr.

Belvedere and I are not getting married.

You aren't? Just because two people
enjoy each other's company.

It doesn't mean they're going to rush
off together to the planet Longo.

Will you guys turn along?

Wesley, of course not.

Yes, of course not.

And you're never going to leave?

Of course I am.

Huh? What I mean is it may not be
tomorrow, or it may not even be next

someday, when I think you're
sufficiently civilized and no longer a

society, then I'll be on my way.

Hey, Mr. Overdue. Got another hot date
with Mrs. Carsola?

Your brother and sister are making me
take them to the drive -in.

So you're stuck with the wagon, huh?

I don't mind.

When your brother misbehaves, I can make
him sit in the back and face the wrong

way.

Come on, Marsha. We're going to be late.

You're just doing this to get back at
me.

Come on, honey. It'll be fun.

All right.

All right.

Are you sure everybody's going to be
wearing stuff like this? Sure they are.

Come on, we don't want to miss the first
dance.

Hey, swing your lady just like Cupid.
Swing her again.

Don't you look stupid?

Wesley seems to have reconciled himself.

to Isabel and me seeing each other from
time to time.

In fact, he's even threatened to come
along on one of our picnics.

Speaking of Isabel, she keeps suggesting
we spend the weekend together in

Atlantic City.

Her treat?

I may be old -fashioned, but I think she
should take me to Monte Carlo.