Original subtitles

Wesley, what are you doing?

You said I could have something to eat.

I said you could have a piece of fruit.

Oh.

I'm not really eating.

Then it must be a mirage.

Yeah, I needed to eat this ice cream because I need the stick to make my

apple.

And you said I could have a piece of fruit.

All right, Wesley.

You stayed within the letter of the law. If not the spirit, you can have the

apple.

Thanks, Mr. Belvedere.

Tomorrow we'll see what you can do with prunes.

Would you sign this, please? What is it?

Oh, nothing. I just need permission for a class trip.

Class trip? Where are you going? The Derrys?

London, Paris, Rome, and Madrid.

It's Christmas in Europe. Almost my whole class is going. It's going to be

educational. Gee, I don't know, honey. How much is it?

Only $1 ,300.

that'll be my whole Christmas present. I don't expect anything else except some

new clothes, a camera, and spending money.

We appreciate the sacrifice.

Mom. Look, Heather, you know your father's paper may go on strike.

I thought that was just the typesetter.

Yeah, but if they go, Dad's union will go out, too, and we've just got to watch

our budget, okay?

Yeah, I guess.

Anyway, I think you should spend Christmas here at home with us, your

Can we at least... send him someplace?

Hey, who's that?

Wes, did you leave your bike in the Huffnagel's driveway again?

Not since Mrs. Huffnagel splashed my tires.

What kind of an idiot is making all that racket?

It's Dad.

Oh, that kind.

Hey, that's not our car.

Hey, what about Hawking out there?

We thought it was mating season.

Dad's out in your car.

George,

I thought you and Kevin were just going out to look tonight.

We were until we saw that little red beauty out there. It's great. It's got

on the floor, a V8 with dual carbs, and does zero to 60 in six seconds.

That can be fixed.

George, I thought we were going to get him something a little more practical.

It's practical.

I mean, with those wheels, you'll pick up practically any chick in town.

Come on, Kevin, let's go burn some rubber.

I can't drive until I buy insurance, right? That's our deal, pal.

Wesley, it's way past your bedtime.

All right, all right, I'm going.

Remind me to have him realigned.

Let me go out and polish her up a little, okay? You bet, partner.

Hey, what's the matter?

Nothing. It's just that I don't think this is the best time to be buying a car

when you could be out of work tomorrow.

Come on, Marsh. They do the same thing every time.

The union wants this, the paper wants that, they scream and argue until the

minute, and then everything's okay.

I hope so.

Anyway, you saw the look on that kid's face.

He loves the car.

Yeah, it's fine. I'll see he gets it. Goodbye.

Say that with your paper.

Oh, everything's settled?

Yeah. The picketing starts at noon tomorrow.

on the china never matter before who cares when you drop kick your jacket

as you came through the door no one's glad but sometimes things get turned

around and no one's bad all hands look out below

there's a change in the status quo gonna need all the help that you

can get

According to our new arrival, life is more than mere survival.

We just might live the good life yet.

Uh, yeah, I'm calling to inquire about car insurance.

I'm 17.

Moving violations?

Uh, just one. But I've never had an accident.

Unless you count the time I skidded off the highway onto the golf course.

Hello?

Hello?

They hung up on me.

Imagine that.

It's the fifth insurance company I've called. Unless you're 45 with a dull job

and a slow car, they won't even talk to you. Well, be patient.

You're bitter, Bill.

Gotta walk to school.

Come on, we'll go to Hershey Park like we used to.

We can ride the roller coaster.

George, I've got to go to class.

Tell them you're sick.

I'll write you a note.

Write me a note, Dad. I'll goof off with you.

Come on, children.

You'll be late for school.

Yeah, come on, kids. I'll drop you off on my way to pick.

Here you go, Wesley.

What's in here?

Oh, nothing unusual.

Uh, bologna sandwich, carrot sticks, and, uh... Chocolate cupcake.

Why?

I just thought it might put something funny in here. You know, to get me back

for that candied apple.

Oh, that would be very small, Mr. Belvedere, wouldn't it?

Oh, Wesley.

Don't forget your thermos.

picketing today?

I'm sick of picketing.

I've been doing it for three weeks.

Besides, all the fun guys got arrested.

And deservedly so.

Big deal. They turned over one car.

How are they supposed to know there was a dog in it?

There's nothing good on it. Then go and clean your room.

Come on, I'm depressed.

I'm sorry.

Stupid strike's dragging on.

Nobody knows when it's going to be over.

You don't know what it's like.

Actually, I do.

I was a child of 14, working in the coal mines of Yorkshire.

2 ,000 of us went out on strike and swore we'd never go back until we had

working conditions and a fair wage.

How long did it last?

Oh, it's still going on.

That wasn't the best story to share with you, was it?

So who's the broad and the funny hat?

That is Elizabeth, the Queen Mother.

For a minute I thought it was Benny Hill.

What's this?

It's a Fabergé egg.

I don't smell anything.

George, please.

It's quite valuable.

I'm sorry.

Come along now.

The other children will be home soon.

Can I have a snack?

You're making a move, Dad. Time's almost up.

All right, all right.

Hey, Belver, do you mind if I ask you a small point of strategy?

It's a friendly game.

Which way does the horsey move?

You're not going to be on the phone long, are you?

I'm calling about insurance.

I thought you ran into companies last week.

Oh, they're the new one. They're very reputable.

Hello, crazy Eddie?

Cautious Kevin.

Hey, Marcia.

How are we doing with the bills? We in the poorhouse yet?

No, we're fine.

We are?

Yeah, actually, I thought we'd be in more of a crunch by now, but we're doing

okay. Oh, yeah?

Excuse me, but there's a slight problem about dinner.

What? I can't cook it. There's no gab.

What are you talking about? Well, I went outside and I checked the meter.

It's been turned off.

Didn't you pay the bill?

I must have.

Although, come to think of it, I don't remember getting the gas bill.

Or the credit card bill.

Or the mortgage.

Well, good night.

Going to bed so soon?

I just want to get up there before the lights go off.

Wesley, do you know anything about our bills?

I hate them. I figured I'd pay them when I was older and had money.

I just didn't want you guys to worry.

That's very sweet of you, honey, but I think you'd better let us have them.

Okay.

So, sweetheart, what bills did you pay?

Oh, well, let's see.

Uh, the dry cleaning and TV guide.

Here you go, Mom.

Thanks, honey.

So what are we gonna do for money?

Hey, gang, everything's gonna be okay.

All we gotta do is...

tighten our belts, put our nose to the grindstone, and all pull together.

And if that doesn't work, we can always tote that barge and lift that bale.

Look, I'll just take a semester off and get a job.

Huh? Yeah, you know, like in a law office or a McDonald's.

Well, actually, if it would be any help, I could forego my salary until the

strike is over.

Huh? I'll be a boarder.

You know, you provide me with room and provender, and I'll pay you what you'll

pay me.

That's crazy.

George, it would be a help.

All right. All right.

But it's only temporary.

Yes, and if I fix a meal or make a bed or two... Whoa, whoa, whoa.

As long as you're paying me, you don't lift a finger around here.

You're a guest.

Got it?

Understood, George.

Understood.

I'll have my tea now.

Come on, Dad, we're starving.

Okay, okay, it's coming, it's coming.

Dad, you sure you don't need any help?

I'm okay, kitten.

It's just breakfast.

Not the big deal some people make it out to be.

Okay, folks, how do we want our eggs? Scrambled.

Poached. Fried.

Florentined.

Mr. Belvedere. It's delightful.

Yeah, and since Dad won't let you work, you and me can spend the whole day

together. I'm a guest, Wesley, not a hostage.

Hey, what's burning?

Hey, Dad, you didn't wreck my rink and toast, did you?

Okay, pal.

Just the way you like it.

Well, while you're busy buttering the toast, I'll get the egg.

No, no, I got it. You just sit back down and relax.

All right.

Here we go.

We got some nice eggs.

That's a nice toast.

You really don't want the bacon.

I gotta go, Dad.

Yeah, me too.

I gotta go make someone's bed.

Sorry about breakfast.

Gee, what's the matter with Dad?

What do you think?

He's got no job, no self -respect.

He's a broken man.

Forgive me for interrupting little Mary Sunshine.

But your father is just depressed. He's going to be fine.

I guess so.

And instead of sitting around moping, the two of you should be thinking of

things to help the situation.

Well, I stopped asking to go to Europe.

And I stopped going through Mom's purse.

Children being a little less selfish than usual is not enough. You must do

something positive.

Hey, there's a place downtown where you can sell your blood.

They give you orange juice and cookies and $10 a gallon.

Hey, I know. There's a lot of good junk around here. We could have a garage

sale. Yeah.

Now, there's a good idea.

Come on, Wes. We've got a lot of work to do. Okay. See you later, Mr. Belvedere.

Yeah, see you. Good luck, children.

No, for my real breakfast.

I'm back.

I put signs that follow the neighborhood.

Great. Now help me put price tags on this stuff.

Okay. How much do you think we should charge for this?

A hundred dollars.

Wesley, it's only a hot water bottle.

Well, just tell him some... famous look on it.

Goodbye, children.

Mr. Belvedere is off to the cinema.

Wesley, I have left a box on my bed. You may sell what is in it.

Thank you, Mr. Belvedere.

Hey, what movie are you going to go see?

Oh, either Bergman's Wild Strawberries or Schwarzenegger's Commando.

Very hard to decide.

Hey, Dad, how's it going?

Great.

I'm standing here making like Hazel watching a game I ought to be out

Oh.

Anyway, I gotta do another load.

Uh, you need any help?

Hey, I don't want any son of mine doing laundry.

Anyway, uh, hand me that nice and fluffy, will you?

So what are you up to, champ?

Not too much. Just been sitting in my car, playing with a knob.

Hey, look, as soon as this strike thing is settled, your mom and I are gonna

help you out with the insurance.

Uh, thanks, Dad, but the thing is, I've got a date tonight.

That's okay. Take the wagon. I hate the wagon. It makes me feel like I should be

going to a Cub Scout meeting.

I'm just going real special.

Look, Kevin, I can't... Dad, please, let me just take the car just for tonight.

I promise, I'll drive real careful. Straight to her house, straight to the

dance. Afraid not, pal.

Oh, come on, Dad. Hey, I said no.

I mean, you're not the only one around here with a problem.

I've been out of work for a month. I got a house payment due.

And now I gotta go try and make my brights brighter and my whites their

Excuse me.

That's okay, I guess.

Hey, that used to be up there.

Probably just forgot to put you in.

Thank you.

So, how'd you do? I finally sold the waffle iron.

Oh, yeah?

Hope she's from out of town.

Looking for a customer.

crazy about me.

Hello. May I help you, madam? Or are you just browsing?

Oh, my.

What a gracious young man.

As you can see, we have some very lovely items.

How about a nice bowling trophy?

Oh, I don't think so.

We have some real good books.

David Copperfield, Treasure Island, and My Story by Mike Douglas.

Oh, my God.

Young man, where did you get this?

Our housekeeper, Mr. Belvedere. He brought it over from England.

How much are you asking for it?

Well, I really shouldn't do this. But because I like you, I'll give it to you

for ten dollars.

Ten dollars?

All right, fine.

All right, all right, three.

And I'll throw in a bowling trophy. I'll take it.

Love you, honey.

Yes, Newcombs.

Real funny.

Any news about the strike?

Yeah, they're talking again.

But it's not going to work out.

It'll just be another disaster.

Speaking of which, I've got to start dinner.

I'd be happy to help.

Forget it.

Oh, thank goodness I still have my juju bees.

Hi, children.

How'd you get our sale go?

Great. We sold a whole lot of junk.

$57. We're going to get an envelope and give it to Mom and Dad.

Well, I think what you children have done is wonderful.

Mr. Belvedere is very proud of you.

I always knew we were good kids.

Come on.

Kids! Hey, Marcia.

Hi, honey.

What do you got there?

Hey, Mom.

Do you guys know anything about these?

Yeah, I put them up for our garage sale.

These were stuck up all over the neighborhood.

Save the children.

Bowen's Family Distress Sale. Help us buy food and medicine.

Nice picture of you, Wes.

Where'd you get the crutches?

We were only trying to get people to come.

Yeah, and look.

We made all this money to help you guys.

We didn't think we were doing anything wrong.

That's okay.

You didn't.

Thanks, kids.

What you did was just wonderful.

Oh, Wesley.

Have you seen Mr. Belvedere's egg?

What's the matter? You lay one?

I lost one.

Yeah, I sold it. I got three bucks.

Three whole bucks?

What's going on, Mr. Belvedere? Oh, it's nothing. It's nothing. It's just that

in their zeal, the children have told something they shouldn't have.

But it's all right. It's all right.

I can always get another.

After all, there are two others in the world exactly like it.

All right. All right. We'll find it.

Wes, do you remember who you told it to?

Some old lady with beady eyes.

Let's comb the neighborhood. Go get your brother. He's not here. He drove away

in his car about an hour ago.

Damn it, I told him absolutely not.

What's the matter with that kid?

What's going on with this family?

I hope that's the new border.

I'm checking out.

May I help you?

Oh, hello.

I'm Marie Stinko.

of a little kid. You ought to be ashamed.

I know.

Are you Mr.

Belvedere? Yes.

I believe this belongs to you.

Oh, thank you for returning it.

You would have tracked me down eventually.

And besides, I was happy just to possess it a few short hours.

I understand.

Hey, what's the big deal?

This thing about to hatch or something?

Sir, this is a Fabergé egg.

I know that.

They were crafted as Easter gifts for the children of the Tsar before they

all shot at me.

George, those things are worth thousands of dollars.

Oh, yes.

Seven hundred and fifty thousand.

You mean that thing's worth close to a million bucks?

Yes.

And I brought it back.

Well, I'm going to go home now and sit in some warm water.

Goodbye.

Well, that's ten dollars, all right.

So what's your racket?

I think about it.

I mean, that thing's worth close to a million bucks and you're working for us,

doing our dirty dishes.

Somebody had to.

Where did you get it, Mr. Belvedere?

Well, it's simply a token of appreciation from an old friend in the

I mean, you save a sheik's life and, well, you know how they are.

You could sell it, go anywhere you want to do anything.

Perhaps.

So why are you sticking around here?

Hi, everybody.

Well, well, look who's back.

I hope you enjoyed your little joyride, pal, because it's the last one you ever

take. I know.

You stood right in front of me, listened to every word I said, then went right

out and did what you wanted.

I took the car back.

What?

I took the car back.

I told the guy I never drove it and how my dad was out of work.

He gave me the money back.

Yeah, well, you still disobeyed.

And something could have happened.

And you're still in very, very big...

There's a reason I'm sticking around.

I'll get it.

And listen, we'll get you another car as soon as this thing's settled.

Oh, that's okay, Dad. Maybe I'll just jazz up the wagon and put on some racing

stripes or something.

Okay, I'll tell him. Bye.

It's over.

What? Dad's striped.

You're kidding.

You go back to work tomorrow.

Now can I go to your house? We'll talk about it after dinner.

Oh, yeah, let's go out to dinner and celebrate.

Yeah, Mr. Bollinger can treat. He's rich.

I guess it's back to the paper for me.

And back to the kitchen for me.

You know, there's some things in the world you just can't put a price on.

noticed that.

I mean, like Kevin.

Taking the car back and all.

It makes the check worth about a half a dozen of those.

That's true.

So, you want to trade?

To attempt to describe in any rational detail the events of the past few days

goes well beyond my ability to keep hold of a pen.

Suffice it to say, George has his job back, I have my egg back, and the Owens

household has me back.

One unfortunate result of all this is Miss Tangle.

Sometimes I wish she had never returned the egg.

I've allowed her to visit it on several occasions, but that doesn't seem to

satisfy her.

It's still here, Miss Tingle.

I must remember to hide that ladder.