Original subtitles

My turn.

Hey, Belver, you see my staple gun?

Why, your zipper break?

Stop draw on the right.

Thanks.

See ya.

Hey, Mr. Bell, you're still raining.

I'm eating. Go put yourself in the dryer.

Wesley, I said it was supposed to turn to snow.

But it didn't, and I waited.

Wesley, you're drenched to the bone.

Hi, guys.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Evans.

Yeah, maybe you should go sit in the dryer.

Wesley, that's not even funny.

You're soaking.

Yeah, we both are. Hey, why don't we go back outside and step on snails?

Well,

that's it for dinner.

Hi, honey.

Hey, watch this. I hooked up the alarm system.

George, we're soaking wet. Look out!

Here comes Mr. Burglar.

But he's in for a big surprise.

Is it a silent alarm, Dad?

Why don't you guys go up and dry off?

Stupid thing.

Problem, George?

I must have a screw loose someplace.

Getting all gussied up for your date tonight?

I need your opinion.

Oh, dear.

Which do you like better, the green or the black?

I'd suggest gloves.

Well, what about my makeup? It isn't too heavy, is it? Not if you're going to

date Emmett Kelly.

Well, I don't know who that is, but I'm going to go wash my face. Good girl.

You're getting very good at that.

This thing is supposed to be simple.

You open the door, these things break contact, and the alarm goes off.

I don't know, I must be doing something wrong.

Perhaps you should try from the outside, as if you were a burglar.

on the china never mattered before who cares when you drop kick your jacket

as you came through the door no one bled but sometimes things get turned around

and no one's fed all hands look out below

there's a change in the status quo gonna need all the help that we

can get

According to our new arrival, life is more than mere survival.

We just might live the good life yet.

Why is that slime growing in the refrigerator?

Oh, that's okay. That's mine.

I'm growing it for biology class.

Well, do something about it. It's attacking the cheese.

See, it's an experiment. Four different strains of E. coli bacteria.

We're supposed to observe the effect when the cultures are introduced into a

foreign organism.

Ah. Here, I'll taste.

Oh, boy, Jell -O.

It's not Jell -O.

Come on, I just want one of them.

fit for human consumption, even by your standards.

Hey. Hi, honey.

Proposing again?

No. I'm putting a timer on all the lights.

What happened to the alarm?

It's resting, but this is great.

See, I hooked up these modules to all our lamps.

Then all you do is plug in your master component here, set your timer,

Nighttime on, morning off, and... Morning, George.

Mr. Owen's still working on the security system.

I'm just getting the bugs out.

Hey, I can't see a thing.

Perhaps we'll meet a burglar and we can borrow his flashlight.

George, how nice to see you again.

Ha, ha, ha.

Hey, Kevin, no date tonight? I got a girl coming over.

Oh, sending out for stuff, huh?

That's it, make them come to you.

Is there no way of stopping him? Dad, she's just a friend.

Is she pretty?

Yeah, she's okay.

So you like her?

Dad. Kevin's got a girlfriend.

Kevin's got a girlfriend.

Look, she's my lab partner. She's just coming over so we can compare cultures.

What is she, French?

Yeah, peppy little pew.

Wesley, time for bed.

You too, George.

Oh, yeah?

George. Oh, I'm so bad.

That's probably her.

Ah, don't worry about it, champ.

We'll just stay alone and make ourselves scarce.

Great.

Hi, Robin.

Did you make it okay?

My brother dropped me off.

Oh, uh, Mom, Dad, everybody, this is my friend Robin. Oh, hi. It's nice to meet

you. Thank you.

Yeah, Kevin's told us quite a bit about you.

But not that.

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

She's going to have a baby.

Thank you, Kevin.

Is that your science project?

Well,

how am I supposed to learn anything if I don't ask questions?

That's okay.

I guess I should have asked a few questions myself.

Robin, would you like to sit down?

I'll try.

I just felt a little kick from Emily.

Oh, Emily.

Or if it's a boy, Kevin.

Oh, Kevin.

Excuse us.

We'll be right back.

So, son, anything you'd like to tell us?

Uh, yeah.

I guess there is.

I took the car out last night and I didn't put any gas in it.

There's something else?

Yeah, Kevin, if it's a boy. What about that?

She liked the name.

Yeah, and we like to keep him in the family.

We will, Gramps.

Kevin!

Hey, I met her a month ago when school started. She came like that.

It's just, well, her boyfriend skipped out, and she doesn't have many friends.

It's been pretty tough on her.

Yeah, I bet it has.

So you guys really thought I could have been the one?

Yeah.

I'm very disappointed in both of you.

Hey, where'd everybody go?

Oh, the English guy dragged your brother upstairs after he asked if he could

autograph his stomach.

I can get her a lab book. Be right back.

I'll probably be here.

Hey, Kevin, what do you think?

Whoa! Do I look sexy?

How should I know? I'm your brother.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

I'm Robin. I'm a friend of your brother's.

Oh, hi. I'm Heather.

You look really nice.

Yeah. My mom gave me a real hard time about getting this dress.

But I talked her into it.

Yeah?

I've been talking to a few things myself.

Me and Wayne. going to a dance at school. It's no big deal.

Yeah, I remember my last dance.

I had a lot of fun.

Oh, well, I'm not going to be having any fun.

We'll just sit there, have some punch.

Probably won't even dance.

Not the dancing that gets you in trouble.

Heather, are you ready? No.

Wow, my little girl's going to break some hearts tonight.

Heather, I'm still not sure about that dress.

Then why'd you let me...

You ought to take a look at this.

These cells are dividing like crazy. Yeah, I know the feeling.

You want to take a break? No, no, that's okay.

It's just hard to concentrate.

Sure it is. I mean, you're studying for two.

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh, just straightening up a little.

Why?

I don't know.

I really appreciate you putting up with me.

Hey, I'm not putting up with you. We're helping each other. Everyone else just

avoids me.

No, they don't. I think I make them nervous.

It's like on this walking warning sign.

Kid, don't try this at home.

Well, look, I don't care what other people think.

You're a nice person.

I like you.

I think you're nice, too.

I just wish I would have met you eight months ago.

Yeah, well, uh...

We better get back to this if we don't want to flunk.

Yeah.

I'm already getting a D in Jim.

Hey, what smells so good?

I've got something in the oven.

Speaking of that, Fertile Myrtle's still out there?

George, I think she's a very nice young lady. I know, I know. I just wish for

once Kevin would bring home a normal girl.

You mean like Miss September?

breaking into this place, I got the garage, every window, and the doors

You know, in England, we don't resort to this electronic bric -a -brac. Oh?

What is it you do do?

I remember a rash of burglaries back in London. We simply labeled the items we

valued the most and requested that they not be taken.

Huh? We left a note. Dear thieves, this vase is a valuable heirloom. Please do

not remove.

It's base.

It's vase.

And they would respect that.

That'd be great here.

Dear Mr. Burglar, please don't take the VCR. It was grandma's.

You've had enough.

Welcome back again.

Sorry we don't have a bathroom downstairs.

That's okay.

How come a bell goes off when you flush the toilet?

Oh, that's my dad.

Hey, what's the matter?

Nothing.

I've just been having these back pains all day.

Anyone ready for some chocolate chip cookies?

Oh! I made them from scratch.

Are you okay?

Kevin, I'm having a baby.

I know that. I mean, I'm having it now.

No, you're not.

George! Is somebody trying to break in? No.

I think it's the other way around.

Hey, it's okay. I've been through this before. We'll just grab your coat, get

your hat, and we'll have you at the hospital in 20 minutes. Come on, Robin.

don't really feel like going anywhere right now. Sure you do. Come on, it'll

fun. I'll let you honk the horn.

Don't worry. We'll get you there in plenty of time. I don't think so.

Everything's going to be okay.

What's the matter?

Does that answer your question?

You mean she's going to have the baby right here?

Oh, if it isn't too much trouble.

Come on, Robin.

Back to the couch. Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, don't apologize.

We didn't have any plans.

Hey, hey.

Just try not to think about it.

I remember when Marcia had her labor pains.

I tried to take her mind off things with a sports story.

You see, once upon a time...

There was this catcher with the fillies named Stan Lopata.

Paramedics are coming.

Oh, great.

But not for a while. What?

Well, with all the rain and ice, there's been a lot of accidents.

Hey, it's okay.

They'll be here.

If not?

No problem. We got Belvedere. What?

Come on, come on.

You've done everything. You probably ran the maternity ward during the Boer War.

I bet you delivered Prince Charles.

I've never delivered a baby in my life.

Great. Now you tell me. Oh, come on now, George. We must keep calm.

So what are we going to do? I'm not sure.

I'm trying to remember what they did when little Ricky was born.

Robin, are you timing between contractions? Yes!

Fine. Keep up the good work.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Robin, how far apart are they? I don't know. A

couple of minutes?

That's not good, is it?

That's worse than not good. It means the baby's coming soon.

Oh, I'll buy some more. What for?

Tea.

I'll get some clean sheets. Fine.

Don't worry. Everything's going to be okay. Oh, sure.

Come on, cheer up. You're having a baby.

Oh, I know, I know.

Is there anything I can do to get you an aspirin, a glass of water, marry you?

What's going on?

I'm sorry, old man.

It's okay, Wes. Go back upstairs.

Okay, I just want to get some cookies.

Hi, I'm just getting some cookies.

Oh! Oh, three too many?

Come on.

Anything new?

Or anybody?

Oh, not yet.

What about the ambulance? No.

Then may I suggest we do what we do in England?

What? Stick a note on her?

Find a doctor. Where?

Hey, Dad!

Not now, Wes.

But I know where our doctor is.

Where, Wesley?

My friend Jake. His dad's a doctor. And they live right around the corner.

Dr. Saperstein, right!

I know where he lives.

You stay here.

Okay.

Mr. Belvedere will take good care of you. I'll be back as soon as I can.

All right, dear.

So what do we do?

I don't know, but I want to raise.

I think I want to lie down.

Why? Yeah, why?

I don't know, but I think I better.

Oh, boy. Countdown.

Houston and Baby. Come in, Baby.

Oh, Robin, we should get you upstairs.

Yeah, your room. My room? My room? I don't think this is such a good idea.

Okay.

Okay, we'll open up the couch. Open up the couch. Wes, come give your pop a

with this coffee table.

Don't you ever clean down here.

I tried to once. Something bit me. Watch out.

Are they always like this?

Nah, they're just being polite because you're here.

Thanks.

Her parents aren't home.

The nurse?

I mean, what kind of people go out on a Friday night?

Lucky people?

Anyway, where's Kevin and that stupid doctor?

Where's the ambulance?

Where's Marsha? On their way, stuck in the traffic. And how the hell should I

know? She's not my wife.

Give me one of those.

Now, look, George, we must keep calm.

I mean...

If help should come in time, well and good. If not, we can handle it. Yeah,

right. After all, you've had three children. You're used to it. No, I'm

I mean, when Kevin and Heather were born, I was where a guy is supposed to

In a bar across the street.

And Wesley?

I was out of town.

I don't blame you.

Dad, Mr. Belvedere, I think the baby's coming.

Wesley, what have you done?

George. Belvedere? This is it.

Yep, sure is. Good luck.

Same to you.

We're stalling, aren't we?

I don't know. Let me think about it. Come on.

Does that make your back feel better?

Robert, everything's going to be fine.

Oh, somebody do something.

How about a nice cold compress? Oh, go stuff it.

She must be getting close.

Yeah, Marcia got real nasty.

You told me you were in a bar.

She called me.

That's it, Robin.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Breathe. I got him. Now go put them back.

I think I want to push.

I want to push.

Sure. Go for it.

I'm back.

Where's the doctor?

He wouldn't come. Wouldn't come?

What kind of a doctor is he? A podiatrist.

He said if the baby comes out feet first, we could give him a call. I think

coming. It's okay. I'm here now.

Belvedere? Let's get this baby.

That's right, Robin. Keep pushing. Keep pushing.

You're doing good, Robin. You're doing great.

I think I see something.

So do I.

My God.

It looks like Churchill.

We're home.

Hey, what is everybody?

I don't know.

Hi. Hello.

Hi, Robin.

Where's Kevin?

I don't know.

Where's your stomach?

You're supposed to be resting.

Oh, hi, guys.

Feeling a lot better now.

Oh, let me have her, okay?

Sure.

It's a girl.

She had the baby right here?

Yep, about an hour ago.

Who delivered it?

Hey, Marsha, where are you feeling?

At the library.

Heather, I want you to dance.

It was great.

You see our baby?

I sure did.

didn't come until too late, so Dad and Mr. Belvedere had to do it. They did?

Well, actually, most of the credit should go to George here. Oh, come on,

Oh, gee.

Owens and Belvedere, MDs.

He's priceless.

Hey, Dad, we better get going.

We're just going to take Robin and Georgia Lynn to the hospital.

Georgia Lynn.

Yeah. We're godparents.

This is worse than a little house on the prairie.

I'll go bring the car around.

Hey, Dad, can I come too? I helped. Sure, champ. Hey, come on, Lynn. You can

ride shotguns. Love to.

She's real pretty.

Thank you.

Oh, look, Mom. I think she's smiling.

Oh, you are so adorable, you little Miss America, you.

Oh, yes.

Oh, sure.

Come on, Heather.

Let's go get something to eat.

Stay away from the jello.

Good luck, Robin. Good luck to you, too.

Hey, no one's going to rush me into anything.

They might try.

I know how to say now.

Come on. I guess we better get going.

Yeah, I guess so.

Here, I'll hold it.

Thanks.

Sorry about our project.

Gets a lot of sense with yourself.

Oh, that's okay. I'll just tell him the three of us did it.

But, Kevin, you know back there what you said about marrying me?

I meant that.

No, you didn't. No, I didn't.

It's okay. I understand.

Need of the moment.

So what are you going to do?

Raise my baby.

Try to finish school.

None of it's going to be easy.

You'll do okay.

Yeah.

Who knows? Maybe someday I'll even have a date again.

Oh, sure. I mean, maybe the three of us can go out together.

Play on the swings or something.

We'd like that.

Come on. They're waiting for us.

Hey, look, the moon's out.

So the baby.

And so ends the day when I witnessed two miracles.

The miracle of birth and the miracle of George and me getting along.

I don't know which was more unnerving.

Good night, Lynn.

Good night, George.

Just remember to insult him at breakfast.

This can't go on.