Original subtitles

You told me to never mark up my book.

Well, this is different, honey. You see, I have to underline the important parts

I need to remember.

The whole page is yellow.

Listen, honey, I have a whole other book to color, so... So what do you want for

your birthday?

Oh, whatever you get me will be just fine.

It wasn't fine last year.

Sure it was.

I mean, I thought I was getting you a boat trip. I didn't know you had to get

cremated first.

Don't be upset.

It was a very nice thought.

What do you want for your birthday?

Oh, I don't know.

How about a new brain?

Yeah? Or maybe a pen?

Okay, I'll get you one of them.

George,

we must do something about those thieving magpies.

Heckle and Jekyll at it again, Belvedere? I don't know what's the fact

They've destroyed my cauliflower, and there isn't enough watercress left to

a decent sandwich, let alone soup tonight.

Gee, and I can almost taste it.

Till groping for a birthday gift for Mrs. Owens?

I got till tomorrow.

I got some good ideas.

Here, like this thing.

Radio on a roll.

Perhaps she could hang it next to the salami you gave her last year.

It's for the shower.

And that salami was part of a gourmet smoked meat gift pack.

Who says romance is dead?

Hey, Belvedere, you got any brilliant ideas?

Gift -wise?

I do.

Yeah? But I'm buying it for her myself.

Excuse me.

Time to feed the birdies.

Here, Echo. Here, Jacko.

Here,

Jacko.

But sometimes things get turned around and no one's bad.

All hands look out below.

There's a change in the status quo.

Gonna need all the help that we can get.

According to our new arrival, life is more than mere survival.

We just might live the good life yet.

The essential.

Easy, easy.

Yay!

Yay. Can I go now?

Let's do We Got the Power one more time.

Yeah, Mr. Bell, will you be the student body again? Oh, ladies, please. I have

to... We got the power. We got the gas. We got the heat and the sizzle and the

jazz. Now who's got the power?

We do.

We do. So who's got the heat?

Us again?

Who's got the heat and the jazz and the...

Come, come, Beaverton, make them fizzle.

Hi.

What's going on?

Me and the aunts are practicing.

We're going to be cheerleaders.

Oh? Well, I'm not, and I have dinner to prepare, so if you'll excuse me, I'll

have to get back in the kitchen. We're having lamb chops, lamb chops, greasy,

greasy.

And a vegetable.

I like your button, Mrs. Owens.

Oh, he's not a butler, Angela. He's our housekeeper.

I'm sorry. I wasn't told.

It's okay.

Anyway, me and Angela are trying to get our routine down.

So, uh, when did all this happen? A sudden interest in cheerleading.

Oh, it was Angela's idea.

Well, actually, it was my mom's idea. She thought it would be a good way for

to learn to speak up.

Are you going to have time for all this? I mean, what about your service club,

the Iron Maiden?

Yeah, we even thought of a couple of cheers to do at the old people's home.

Medicare, Medicare, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's five o 'clock and we're going to make it too, right, Angela?

Yeah, we've got the sizzle. And there's only about 45 other girls trying out.

Oh, really?

And only a couple of them are blonde and one has really bad skin.

Well, Heather, whether you make it or not, I'm going to be very proud of you.

You too, Angela.

Thank you for including me.

You want to do a cheer for our field goal kicker? He's from Czechoslovakia.

Girls, um, I just... Vladimir, Vladimir, he's our man. If he can't kick it, no

one can.

Yay!

Hey, no autographs, please.

Hi, Angela.

Hey, Dad, me and Angela are going out for cheerleaders.

Cheerleaders? You old enough?

Dad, I'm almost 15.

Oh, gee.

Where'd the time go?

One day, your daddy's little girl running and jumping all over the house,

next thing you know, you're all grown up, doing the same thing.

I'm thinking of you, Dad.

Well, I'll talk to you later, okay?

Come on, Ange. Yeah.

See ya.

Men in my little girl's life.

Men in my little girl's...

Love. Uh, hello, Vicki?

Hi, it's Kevin.

I'm honored you returned my phone call.

Uh, so listen, I was wondering if you wanted to do something Friday night.

Like go to a movie or Vegas?

Oh, sure, I'll hold on.

If you've got one of those things, you can take more than one call at a time.

Do you believe that?

Yeah. Hi, I'm still here.

Oh, well, if you can't make it this Friday night, how about next Friday?

Next Saturday?

Sometime before we finish high school?

Tonight? You mean you can go out tonight?

It's Mom's birthday.

I know that.

Uh, well, what time tonight?

Okay.

All right, I'll pick you up at seven.

Bye -bye.

Well, I think he's worth it. Trust me, she's worth anything.

With Miss Mom's party and breaking her heart?

Hey, come on.

Get out of here, okay?

6 .30, if that's all right with you. Yeah, that's fine. We're having lobster

thermidor. Uh -huh.

I've been told that's your favorite.

Oh, well, don't go to any trouble.

All right, I'll just toss all this and we'll have raisin bran.

Mr. Belvedere, I'm sorry.

It is my favorite, and I'm sure that yours will be the very best I've ever

Please, no, it's only an entree.

She gone? I believe so.

Boy, Marsha's gonna flip when she exists. Really?

I got her one of those fancy French food processors.

Last year, she said she really wanted one. Last year, she didn't have me.

But I'm sure I'll like it.

Give me that.

Well, it was a lovely thought.

Happy birthday again, Ma. Thank you again, Kevin.

What time are we having it? Around four?

I believe Mr. Belvedere said 6 .30.

Oh, so you think you're going to open all your presents first, right?

I don't know. We'll probably do it after the cake.

There's a cake?

What is it?

It's an insurance form.

It says there won't be any problem when something happens and we break our

necks.

Well, I'll have to look that over.

How will I need it now?

That's the problem with you. You need everything now. Maybe I've got other

things on my mind.

I'm sorry. I forgot.

It's my mom's birthday today. Come on.

Give me an A. Give me an A. Give me a P -P -Y.

Stop it.

What's the matter? Nothing.

It's just that there are so many other things you could do.

The band.

drama club, weightlifting.

Are you saying you don't want me to be a cheerleader? Yes.

Mother. Look, it's just that I don't want you wasting your time jumping up

down, screaming your lungs out like some silly... No cheerleading.

You're making a mistake.

Don't try to stop me, okay?

You're making a mistake packing.

Shoes and heavy items go to the bottom.

Blouses and jumpers go on top.

Pom -poms never travel well.

Okay, I'm not kidding. I'm really going.

Where to?

I don't know. Maybe Dallas. There were special cheerleaders there.

Or maybe I'll just go to Angela's house.

Perhaps you just caught your mother at a bad moment.

Well, that's not very hard. and she never likes anything I do.

That's not true.

She tells me I don't apply myself. I don't stick to things, okay?

So I work really hard at getting cheerleader, and I thought she'd be

That just gets all weird.

Well, perhaps there's an explanation.

Yeah, she's got an eddy. Heather, that's not fair.

Too much studying, one more birthday can put a strain on anybody.

That reminds me.

Give her my present.

What is it?

The steering wheel covers.

Probably won't let that either.

Uh, listen, Vicki, I just wanted to tell you I might be

tad late for our date tonight.

No, no, no, no. I'm not backing out.

Okay.

Bye.

Kevin, good night to your mother's birthday.

Huh? Oh, thanks.

Uh, so dinner's still at 6 .30? Yeah.

You think there's any way we could speed it up a little? I'm really hungry.

I'm afraid Lobster Thermidor can't be rushed.

Now I'll have to prepare the prosciutto and melon. We're starting with that.

Oh, God, now we're starting with things.

Ah, Wesley, that looks rather festive.

Yeah, I got Mama a real nice pen, but it's hard to wrap.

Didn't it come in a box?

Not exactly.

Well, let me see.

The bank or the post office?

The bank. Post office just had chains.

Wesley, you stole this.

I had to. I mean, I had five dollars, but the pen store's right next to the

arcade and I only meant to play one game.

I think I'm getting the picture.

The question is, what are you going to do about it?

Cut off the chain?

You're going to take it right back.

Mr. Bill, dear, everybody gets stuff like this.

That's not true.

Ever seen our towels?

I'm home.

Ah, Mrs. Owens, you're back.

Yes. How was the library?

Quiet.

You know, I gathered up a few old clothes.

I thought I'd give them to charity.

Fine. Most of them are yours. I thought you'd like to look through them first.

No, not really.

Oh, you really should. No, it's okay.

Oh, go ahead. No, no. Make my day.

You were a cheerleader?

Yes, I was.

Imagine that.

Okay, I know how this looks.

Cheerleading. It was good enough for Mom, but Heather isn't allowed to...

Owens, I'm just the housekeeper.

Wesley, Mr. Belvedere has to go on an errand.

What does he look like?

That's the salt, Polonaise, and put the lid back. You're letting out all the

goodness. I think it already left.

I'll be back in 20 minutes. Go clean your room.

George. Belvedere.

That your present?

Yep, that's yours? Yep.

Oh, we didn't get the same thing. Somehow I doubt it.

Right. Mine's leather. Mine's lace.

Mine's better. You're fired.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, kitten.

Hey, you better wrap that before your mom sees it.

I'm moving to Angela's house.

Why? What's the matter?

Dad!

It's okay.

Just a little grease fire in the oven. A couple of pots boiled over.

I bet that yellow stuff started it.

I haven't seen you in that since the big game.

Why don't you show Heather the Nittany Split?

Your mom was the greatest.

I don't believe this. Heather, you were a cheerleader and you never even told

me? It never came up. It did yesterday.

I got scared.

Scared of what? But you'd wind up like me.

Nut.

Honey, I just don't want you stuck on the sidelines cheering for everybody

It should be you out there.

You want me to go out for football?

I want you to do whatever you want to do and not have to wait 20 years to do it.

Oh, you mean like you trying to be a lawyer?

Good example.

But me and Angela just thought cheerleading would be fun. Well, it

that way, but if you're not careful, it becomes a career.

What do you mean?

Well, first I was turning cartwheels for the school team.

Next thing I knew, I'm cheering on my own team. First your father, then you

guys.

Are you sorry you had us?

Oh, no.

Not for a minute.

Sometimes when I'm sitting in my classes with all those kids calling me ma 'am,

I just wish that I'd thought a little bit more about myself instead of going

-boom -bah for a bunch of dumb jocks.

Mom, if I want to, I can be a cheerleader and a lawyer.

I know.

Except I can't do either right now because I'm pregnant.

Where do I sign?

Right here.

Ah, it still fits. And I'm not surprised.

Thanks, Mr. Belvedere.

I wish to announce a slight change in the menu.

The lobster Thermidor is now lobster jerky.

And I'll know about the rest of the courses when they stop smoldering.

and the burners got turned on full blast.

I didn't do it. Don't look at me.

Dinner ready?

Well, it must have been a malfunction.

Heather, Wesley, there's ice cream and cake to prepare.

Kevin, you come too.

What happened at dinner?

Somebody tried to make fast food.

So, Heather, you still taking a road trip?

Huh? Oh, no, everything's okay.

What's okay?

Well, Mom didn't want me to be a cheerleader because it messed up her

And she was afraid I'd end up like she did, doing some spoonball for a bunch of

dumb jock.

You're welcome.

Any dumb jock in particular?

Well?

This isn't what I had in mind.

Go on.

Well, I just figured if it takes two hours to cook something at 300 degrees,

it'd only take one hour to cook at 600.

Pity we don't have a kiln.

We could have eaten yesterday.

That's funny.

Kevin, I don't wish to sound needlessly cruel, but this seems like something

your brother would do. Yeah, I know.

It's just, if only you could see my Vicky.

You don't have a Vicky.

Huh? I don't have a lobster Thermidor. You don't have a Vicky.

Hey, I don't understand.

If you felt that way, why didn't you say something back then?

I didn't know back then. So what are you saying?

You wish you would have never married a big, dumb jock like me?

Oh, of course not.

And I never thought of you as being a big, dumb jock. I mean, you never played

that much.

Sure, bring that up again.

Look, don't you know I'm behind you?

Don't you know I want you to be an attorney?

Or anything you want to be.

Huh?

Oh, sure I do, honey.

It's just that sometimes I think you'd be happier if I still was that

cheerleader. You know, a brainless little Kewpie doll in a lace nightie.

Uh -oh.

movies oh

thank

you honey oh isn't this nice i used to have one just

like that

your hands sweat in traffic.

Happy birthday,

Mom. You don't have to open it.

It's just roses.

Just roses?

Hmm?

Ooh. Hey, Dad, where's your gift?

Uh, gee, kitten, I, uh... This is it right there.

The leather one.

Yeah, right, right.

Happy birthday, honey.

Perfect. Marsha Owen, Esquire.

Well, I know you're not an attorney yet, but I got faith in you.

Thank you, honey.

So, Belvedere, where's your gift?

What? No, Mom, I got it. Open it, Mr. Belvedere. Oh, Mr. Belvedere, you should

have.

You're probably right.

another typical day with the Owens clan.

Generational conflict, miscommunication, fire, and theft.

I hope they're insured for all that.

Marsha seems to have come to terms with her doubts about the past as well as her

doubts about my present.

I'm going to get you for that, George.

Oh, footnote to scholars who may read this in the original.

There's a reason I'm using a crayon.

Boy, some trade.

Thank you.