Original subtitles

George, honey. George, turn over, please.

Just turn over.

It's not so bad.

Just a little noise.

It's rhythmic.

It's almost musical.

Hey, I can handle this.

Morning, Wesley.

What are you doing?

Shh, watch this.

Fascinating.

Morning, Mr.

Owens. Hey.

I dreamt I was at a Lawrence Welk show or something.

Imagine that.

Dad's on the couch.

Still snoring, huh, Dad?

That's what your mother tells me.

But I haven't heard it. Yeah, well, we have.

Let's show him.

Jordan, I think that's breakfast.

Certainly.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.

I know it's selfish, but I have midterms starting Tuesday. I've got study

groups. Hey, I understand.

Don't worry about me.

Couch isn't very comfortable, is it? No.

We used to have a guest room.

As it happens, my room is available.

Quitting? No.

It's my weekend off. I have been invited to a little get -together.

One of my former employers.

Oh, there you go, George.

Nah. I don't like that room anymore.

It smells funny.

Sir, may I suggest you keep your mouth shut? What?

When sleeping, I mean.

I've heard a bandage wrapped tightly around the head can control snoring.

Well, I've heard a bandage wrapped tightly around the throat can control

domestics.

Both hold wives' tails, I'm sure.

As we came through the door, no one bled. But sometimes things get turned

and no one's fed.

All hands look out below.

There's a change in the status quo.

Gonna need all the help that we can get.

According to our new arrival, life is more than mere survival.

We just might live the good life yet.

Sure, Angela, I want to, but Mom's not going to let me go to a party on a

night.

Unless I can tell her I'm going to your house.

Then you can tell your... Is that thing on?

Just keep talking. I'll call you in a few minutes.

Stop following me. That's great.

Leave me alone, Kevin.

Good.

You really need help.

Hey.

Hey, watch it, will you? This thing's expensive.

Come on, Kevin. Do me.

All right. All right.

Okay.

Stop that. That is so gross.

Yeah, it makes everybody sick and I never get to see it.

You know, I wish you guys would take this seriously.

I'm getting a grade on this. Oh, give me a break.

Oh, Mr.

Belvedere, could you go out and come back in again? Why, what have you done?

I just missed you the first time.

I'm making a movie.

And I'm making dinner.

What kind of a movie, Kevin?

Oh, it's a project for school.

It's going to be a documentary on the Owens family.

Oh, cinema verite.

Yeah, except nobody will do what I tell them.

Kevin, the whole point of cinema verite is to record things as they happen.

Allow people to act naturally.

Oh, yeah?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to put these groceries away and get on with my

daily routine.

Oh!

They're not just for breakfast anymore.

Hi.

Hi, how's the doctor?

Oh, he's fine.

I mean, you're snoring. Did he find anything?

No. And he was in there long enough.

Maybe you're allergic to something.

Yeah, that's what he said.

And if it keeps up, he's going to have to run some tests next week. Well,

maybe tonight will be better.

Yeah.

Sure. Oh, George.

Come on, Georgie.

Now, I think that Mama Bear knows just what

Papa Bear needs to help him sleep like a little baby bear.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

First, we'll give you a nice warm bath.

We got any Mr. Bubble?

Oh, then we'll put on that Terry Como Christmas album that you like so well.

And who knows, you know, maybe after that... Kevin, what are you doing?

Oh, come on, Kevin, not now. Get away with that.

Sorry, Mom.

Dad, what time's the bath? Get out of here!

And dinner is in the oven.

Oh, in my absence, I've told the children to listen to you, sir.

And they promised me they would.

Thanks. In case of an emergency, I can be reached at this number.

Where are you going?

Europe.

See you on Monday.

Don't miss your bus.

Come on, Heather, I'm starving.

It's coming, it's coming.

velvet you're getting back.

Morning, kids.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Kev. Want to get a shot of your pop at the plate?

No, thanks.

Hey, Dad, I made you eggs.

Oh, hey, kitten. Hey, and just the way I like them.

It's yellow and white.

Morning,

everyone. Hey, Mom. Hey,

Mom, didn't see Dad on the couch this morning.

Yeah, where were you? I got balloons.

Yeah, it's been three nights in a row now and not a peep. How come you stopped

snoring, Dad?

I don't know, Wes.

Maybe it was bubble bath.

Nah.

I didn't get one last night. Well, I had to study last night.

Well, I just wish I knew what was different around here.

Ridiculous. What's ridiculous?

What you're thinking.

What am I thinking? That Mr. Belvedere makes you snore.

You said it. I didn't. Keep going, Mom.

Hey, look.

Some people are allergic to shellfish or cat hair.

Me, I'm allergic to nosy English butlers.

Well, we've all moved.

So, Mr. Belvedere, did you have a nice weekend?

Yeah, so how was Europe?

A little drizzly, but otherwise very nice.

Anything interesting happen over there, like an outbreak of snoring or

something?

Incidentally, I hope your problem is better. Much better.

I haven't snored for the past three nights.

Wonderful. Yeah, it's too bad you couldn't have been here to hear me not

snoring. You were gone.

Not here.

Away.

What an interesting coincidence.

Yeah.

Well... If you're needing anything, I'll be away in the kitchen.

Come on, kids, let's get going. What about Mr. Belvedere? It'll be okay. Go

ahead.

Look, honey, you didn't snore last night or the night before that, and you are

not going to snore tonight.

Sure.

What now?

Let's go on. Oh, nothing. Just trying this on. It's new.

I was snoring again, wasn't I? No. Oh, no.

Even if you were, it has nothing to do with Mr. Belvedere. Yeah, sure.

Oh, man.

See you in the morning.

This is only your dad, Wes.

I'm gonna bunk in with you tonight.

Okay.

Wesley, Mr. Belvedere is tired and would like to go to keep.

All right, all right, you can have the bed.

But I'm taking the cookies.

Maybe it is me.

This is fun.

Wes, who's there?

No one, George.

You're dreaming.

Belvedere.

Where's Wes?

He took refuge in my room.

Yeah, I know. I'm snoring again. So I hear.

You make me snore.

That's very flattering, George, but it's late, and I think I'd better find

somewhere else to sleep.

How about right here?

Right here? With you?

Sure.

It's your fault I'm making all this noise.

Why not stick around and enjoy it?

Right. We'll confront the problem head on.

A sort of shock therapy.

That's mine.

Bottoms up. Oh, no problem.

I had an offer on the Orient Express.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good night, Belvedere. Good night, George.

I hope these things are sturdy.

Belvedere?

Belvedere?

The bed's on fire!

Immigration!

George?

What's the matter, Belvedere? Can't sleep?

Yes, I felt this sudden kicking sensation.

Well, if it's a boy, name it after me.

Frightfully amusing, I'm sure.

Good night, George.

Bit crapped up there for you, Belvedere? I'm fine.

Well, you're probably not used to roughing it like this.

Sir, this is a bedroom, not the Northwood.

You don't have to tell me that.

I spent a summer in the Northwoods, cutting pine.

You were a lumberjack?

Yeah. So was I.

But I was in the Amazon, and my wood was mahogany.

Sure, sure.

Nice and warm.

When I was stationed in Alaska, I pulled guard duty.

20 below zero.

20 below?

That was summer in my man.

In winter, your words would feed, and you wouldn't hear them until spring.

Yeah, I remember the spring of 72, the Harrisburg flood.

I'd fill sandbags for three days straight.

I spent four days evacuating the troops from Dunkirk.

I remember the trip very well. Yeah, yeah, all right, all right, all right.

Okay, you've done some things.

I've done some things.

Big deal.

You're quite right.

We were getting a bit childish.

Good night, Belvedere. Good night, George.

I met MacArthur.

I have his pipe.

Wes, honey, time to get up.

What are you doing in Mr. Belvedere's room?

Oh, dear. Morning, Mrs. Evans.

What's going on?

We spent the night together.

A sort of experiment in terror.

Norah? I didn't sleep.

We just sort of talked.

Yes, I had a lovely time. Mine was lovelier.

Have some coffee for all of you.

Morning, Dad. Morning.

What's going on?

I'm going to get the paper.

This is one dull family.

Maybe the squirrels are doing something.

Mr. Belvedere, George just went to get the paper, so we don't have much time.

Are we making a run for it?

happened last night, and I don't know if you know George's crazy idea about you

and his snoring. Actually, he may be right.

Well, I mean, snoring can be caused by unreleased anger or pent -up resentment.

In George's case, I seem to be the main source of both.

Well, stop it.

I mean, I really think that this whole thing will blow over if you'll just try

to make an effort to be nice to him.

I'll do what's necessary.

Trust me.

That lousy Huffnagle dog!

What happened?

The stupid mutt chewed up the paper and then did something on it.

Perhaps he read your column.

It's okay.

Let him take his little shots. I don't mind.

Because I've got some news for you. And I've got news for you. I quit.

Why? As I told Mrs. Owen, it's best for all concerned.

Right? Oh, absolutely.

Goodbye.

Hey, wait. You can't quit.

I'm going to fire you. Too late.

Goodbye, Mrs. Owens.

I'm sorry things didn't work out.

Thanks for the memory.

So long.

Bye.

Children.

Hey, you walk out of here like this, you're not going to get a reference.

All right.

I'll just have to make do with Churchill and the royal family.

That's it, Mr.

Snooty. Start bringing up all your hot shot, friend. Excuse me. You know what?

I don't think you ever knew Churchill or anybody else. I know you.

And you know what else?

I don't think you went to Europe for the weekend.

You spent it in a motel just to drive me nuts.

Where's that number he left? That number for Europe?

I really don't think... Come on, honey. Where is it?

It's over by the phone.

Just curious.

That's all.

One ringy dingy?

Two? Hello?

Who is this?

Oh.

Sorry, Your Majesty.

I'm trying to get a pizza.

I hate you.

And I hate that. What?

That little ah you're always saying. Oh.

Not oh, ah.

Ah, what a stupid thing George just said. Ah, what a stupid thing George

did.

I'm sick of that, and I'm sick of you.

Feel better?

I feel great. You're welcome.

Huh? I don't think you'll be snoring tonight.

You want to let me in on this?

Well, you just had a little hostility that needed venting, and I was happy to

the ventee.

No, there's nothing going on out there either.

You mean you said all that stuff?

Just to get me mad at you.

Oh, the only other thing I could do was leave.

And I like it here.

Yeah, well, we like it here, too.

You know what I mean.

I think I do.

Breakfast in 15 minutes.

What's that all about?

Well, Mr. Belvedere almost quit.

But Dad wouldn't let him because he really wanted to fire him because Mr.

Belvedere made Dad snore again.

and Mom kicked them out, so Dad and Mr. Bobbitter slept together in my bed, and

Dad called the Queen of England and ordered a pizza.

Can we do that all one more time?

Hey, Dad?

Anybody?

Hello?

Allowing George the opportunity to vent his repressed... regarding yours truly

seems to have done the trick.

He's now enjoyed his fifth consecutive snarl at night.

However, I still say some of his remarks were quite uncalled for.

What's he mean by snooty?

I don't think I'm snooty.

Just discerning.