Original subtitles

Last week, as you recall, we left Professor Robinson working by a

ghostly swamp, out of which was soon to come the most terrifying challenge ever

to confront our space family.

Put it over there, dear boy.

Doesn't take that long to post a sign, does it?

Professor Robinson is a reflective man who likes to take his time.

And the more time he takes, the less work for you, right, Smith?

Major, I have told you before that I suffer from a very delicate back.

I'll go see what's keeping him.

I forgot to read that sign.

Thanks.

Now, let's get back to the drill site.

This is taking a lot longer than I thought.

And your efforts may be completely wasted.

We'll be the judge of that, Smith.

Very well, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Geologically speaking, deutronium ore cannot exist in the presence of

terrain.

Now, Dr. Smith, since you seem to be the expert around here, why don't you take

this up to drill site five and do some blasting?

It'll save us a lot of time if there's nothing up there.

Now, the hole's prepared.

All you do is insert it, pull the pin, and get out of there, all right?

It's quite futile, I assure you.

Do it anyway.

If you insist.

I'll go with you if you like, Dr. Smith.

It's quite unnecessary, my boy.

But I'm not doing much of anything around here. Maybe I can help.

Sure, take Will along.

He knows the way.

Very well.

Lead on.

Shortcut to drill site five, if you're not scared of going through there.

The bog?

After what happened to your father this morning?

But there's one place that's safe. Penny and I found it. Then Penny and you may

delight in your discovery to your heart's content.

I want no part of it.

All right, then we take the hard way. I don't mind the climb if you don't, but

it's pretty steep.

Oh, Will, it just occurred to me, your father may not know where I stored the

spare drill heads.

You'd better go back and tell him that they're under the back seat of the

chariot. He may need them.

I'm sure he'll find them. I would go myself, you see.

But he and Major West are already quite annoyed with me. I would prefer not to

aggravate the situation.

Well, you haven't been very encouraging.

Very true.

But I have always been a man to speak my mind. Let the chips fall where they

may. Now, we'd better hurry up and give them the message.

I'll rejoin all of you later.

All right.

That sounds a little offbeat to me.

I hope he didn't foul it up.

Now, we'll check results tomorrow.

Right now, I think we ought to pack up and go home.

He should be back here by the time we're ready to leave.

Then you won't be needing the drill heads?

No, son, not today.

Thank you.

How do I look?

Oh, it's a perfect fit. I know that, but how do I look?

Just stunning. Thank you. I hope I look like that in mine when it's finished.

Well, of course you will, dear. I don't know. I keep growing so fast, it'll

probably be tight in all the wrong places before it's ready to wear.

Does anyone happen to have some scarlet paint?

Well, I have some lipstick, but it isn't scarlet. No, no, I'm afraid it must be

scarlet. What do you need it for? For my Ouija board.

What on earth have you got on, miss? You like them? They're my new fatigues.

Yours are right there, Dr. Smith.

I felt that we were all due for a change.

Well, much as I respect you ladies, I'm afraid you do not know anything about

cutting a man's clothes.

What's wrong with them?

Look at it.

You've made no allowance for the breadth of my shoulders or the muscular

development of my arms.

Let me give you a hint, madam.

Think of the Greek athlete, the discoverer's thrower, for example, and

much closer to fitting me properly.

Now then, I must have some scarlet paint. Do you know where I can find

Oh, you mean for your... My Ouija board. What is this?

Incredible.

Dr.

Smith? Yes?

What does a Ouija board do?

It enables me to communicate with the timeless and universal spirits of those

that came before us. One in particular, my great Uncle Thaddeus.

Gosh. I've been very remiss of late, I'm afraid. I haven't spoken to Uncle

Thaddeus for months.

I think he may be offended.

That's why I decided to make the Ouija board.

And you're going to raise them with that, huh, Smith?

I always have. I don't think there's any such thing as raising spirits. It's

just an old hat superstition. But Dr. Smith says he's spoken to him plenty of

times. He's only fooling you, Penny.

His Uncle Faddis doesn't even exist.

You're entitled to your own opinion, young man.

But if your sister prefers to adhere to mine, I shall defend to the death her

right to do so. All right, all right, all right, all right, Smith. How about

skipping the chivalry and proving it?

I can't snot without scarlet paint. Well, there's some red lead in the tool

locker. How about that?

Red lead indeed.

A bit dreary and utilitarian.

But I suppose it'll have to do.

He's really taking this seriously.

So am I.

Aunt Petilda was much better at making Ouija boards than I am, but she taught

well. As you can plainly see, I haven't altogether forgotten my artistry.

Well, it looks very mysterious to me. The riddle of the universe is wrapped in

mystery, dear lady.

And that thing's going to solve it for you, right?

Not solve it, Major.

Permit us to participate in its splendors.

Now then, I must choose a medium from among you, someone with the same

qualities as my Aunt Petilda.

No.

Ah.

Vital energy, great powers of concentration, and a sympathetic heart.

You will do very nicely, Penny. With your permission, Mrs. Robinson.

Well, I don't know if you think it won't frighten her.

Oh, Mom, I'm not a baby.

It's really no different from a scientific experiment, is it, Dad?

Well, science has been interested in psychic phenomena for some years.

And there are some things they haven't been able to explain.

All right, Doctor, go right ahead.

You're too kind.

Come along, Penny.

We'll sit over there.

Let me see. Yes, this seems to be a quite good place right here.

Place our stool so.

And we place the board on our knees.

So, the glass here. Now then, place your fingertips lightly on the rim of the

glass. So.

And concentrate very deeply.

On what?

This is no laughing matter, young man.

I can't help it. It's just so silly.

I see.

And does anyone else think it's silly?

Come on, Smith. You can't expect us to take this for real.

I see, Major.

Come along, Penny.

We must remove ourselves from all adverse influences.

Give my regards to my Matilda.

Philistine.

Come along, dear.

You hurt his feelings.

You could have at least given him the benefit of the doubt.

Again? You know, when I was a little girl, we found a Ouija board up in my

grandmother's attic.

The trouble was, nobody knew what to do with it, even my grandmother.

I'm afraid it's quite obsolete in the world of computers.

So is Dr. Smith.

But then again, I'm not sure what world he really belongs in.

Come along, dear.

Doubters, such doubters are. This looks like a very good place, Penny. Sit down,

dear.

Place the board on our knees.

The glass, so.

Now, place your fingertips on the rim of the glass.

Yes. Now, concentrate as hard as you can on this glass.

All I can do is stare at it. Is that what you mean?

Precisely. Stare at it until there's nothing else in your mind but the glass.

What's it for?

You're supposed to concentrate, Missy, not ask questions.

And don't blink your eyes, dear.

Oh, eternal powers of the spirit world.

Oh, well -loved and well -remembered absent friend and consanguineous kin,

Uncle Thaddeus.

Give us a sign that we may know you are near.

Speak to us through the medium of our humble artifacts.

and through the presence of this innocent child whose delicate sensors

to you.

I feel shivery.

Good. That's how it begins.

Something's happening.

What is it? It's moving, I think.

They are here with us.

Oh, eternal powers of the spirit world, grasp this humble artifact and

materialize your presence so that we may recognize you.

Now tell us what really happened.

Surely you don't doubt the word of your own child.

No, but it's possible that all she saw was an illusion created by you.

Skeptics, skeptics.

There, cut by a piece of that flying glass. Does that convince you?

I was afraid Uncle Thaddeus would not like it here.

Are you sure Uncle Thaddeus did that?

Indeed, yes. He was a very powerful man in life, always throwing things about

when something didn't please him.

Oh, nicest pie on the surface.

but very pugnacious underneath, an iron hand in a velvet glove.

Tonight, he was all iron hand. I wish I knew how to placate him.

Ah, come on now, Smith. Stop this hanky -panky, huh?

Hanky -panky indeed.

If what you say really happened, there's a scientific explanation for it. And

tomorrow morning, I'm going to tell you exactly what it is. Now, I'm going to

bed. Good night.

And I suppose the rest of you agree with him?

Come on, children.

It's time for bed.

Now, Smith, there may be a scientific explanation for this, and there may not

be. But right now, we've got too many problems to cope without worrying about

your Uncle Thaddeus.

Composition of object does not compute.

Genetic code indecipherable.

Can you locate its position?

Due north by horizontal bearing.

Distance by velocity of light.

Velocity of light?

65 meters.

You've offended the spirits with your mockery and lack of faith.

Cut the gibberish. This is serious.

Indeed. You, sir.

Over here.

Bring your resources to there and describe what is out there.

Invisible.

Indestructible.

Irresistible. You can do better than that, you ninny.

Negative.

Computers inadequate for further information.

Well, that's clear enough.

It can only be Uncle Thaddeus and one of his infrequent benders.

Thanks to you, Major.

I suppose I'll have to go out and have a little chat with him.

Oh, Dr.

Smith, don't you think he's a little too violent right now?

In the teeth of the hurricane, in the eye of the gale, in the turbulence of

spirit, there is only one way.

Face to face.

and I think we should stop him. Don't worry about him. He'll run for his life

anything comes within a mile of him.

Uncle Thaddeus, is that you?

I know I never should have summoned you. I'm very sorry.

It's all their fault. They don't believe in you. I've tried my best, but... Oh,

no! Don't!

Mr.

Tobin better stay here.

Is he still there?

There was no one here to begin with. Just that rock out there.

Must have been something enormously powerful to pick that up and toss it

Uncle Thaddeus was a very powerful man.

Oh, dear.

Will you stop this Uncle Thaddeus business? I've had him up to here.

Whatever caused all this obviously prefers to work in darkness.

Spirits always do.

How do you know that?

Goodbye, Uncle Thaddeus.

It couldn't have been something atmospheric, could it? Well, I've seen

cut a swath through an area before, but they come any time. And they don't quit

at dawn.

Well, then what could it have been?

I have done my best to explain it to you, Mrs. Robinson, but I may as well

to the wall for all the good it does.

John, look at this.

Does your uncle happen to be a three -toed freak, Smith?

Beware, Major.

He may be invisible at the moment, but he can hear you only too clearly.

You're asking for trouble.

Sure, sure.

John, what do you make of it?

What was it the robot said?

Genetic code indecipherable? He also said invisible, indestructible, and

irresistible. And yet with enough energy to cause all that damage.

What kind of energy?

The vital energy of the spirit world, madam.

With three -toed footprints?

The footprints have nothing to do with it.

Well, then what could have made them?

Some nocturnal denizen of this miserable planet seeking food.

Certainly no visitor from the spirit world. Come on, Smith. Change the

Let's get some breakfast.

I think we should get up to the drill site five and see what we've got.

Until all this is cleaned up, we're going to have to eat all our meals

Major West.

What is it, Smith?

I hope you won't be too disappointed if you don't find anything up at drill site

five.

And what is that supposed to mean?

You said yourself the explosion sounded like a damn squib.

And with your superior knowledge of pyrotechnics, you're probably right.

You put the blasting pack in the hole marked with the arrow.

Oh, indeed I did.

And you put the metal capping back on the hole before you left.

Naturally. That's SOP for all blasting operations.

There is no arrow.

And no metal capping.

Now what did you do with the explosives? I want the truth.

You're hurting me.

All right then, Smith. What did you do with it?

I threw it in the bog.

Oh, you don't... Well, it was too much of a climb for a man of my years. You

should never have sent me.

Well, at least we know where that energy came from.

You combine that explosive with whatever elements are in that bog, and it

evidently unleashes a force we have no power to control.

We'd better get up to that drill site, Don.

I want to tell you one thing, Smith. I promise you, that bog may be off limits

to everyone else, but from now on, you're going to be swimming in it every

looking for your three -toed uncle.

swimming in it.

But I can't swim.

Smith just won't cooperate, even if it means getting off of this planet.

Well, he might, after we've made him spend one night out here. Oh, no thanks,

and I don't want his cooperation.

I'd just like to scare him enough to keep him out of our hair until we've got

enough fuel to get going.

Doc! Doc, come here!

Look at this.

Now, what kind of force could remain invisible and yet have enough molecular

weight to leave tracks like this?

And only comes out at night, like Smith's Uncle Thaddeus.

Do you think it'll be back?

Well, we'd better be prepared for that possibility.

Look, we've got just enough time to set the explosives and be back here before

nightfall. I want us to be here if and when something happens.

So I guess they're just going to keep looking to see if there's anything out

the bog.

Nothing's in that bag that they will see, I assure you.

But we will.

What's that for?

This. One of the necessaries for our little seance, now that we are

free of certain hostile influences.

Come with me, please, all of you.

But why? What for?

We don't want a repetition of last night's destruction, do we?

No, but... Exactly.

Therefore... I shall resurrect Uncle Thaddeus and make him your friend as

as mine via a seance.

Well, come along.

Oh, Dr. Smith, you can't be serious.

A seance here in outer space?

And besides, Dr.

Smith, it wasn't even your Uncle Thaddeus out there last night.

It was just the explosives combined with the ionized gas.

You're getting to be just as bad as Major West with your know -nothing know

-how, young man.

A common failing of all technologists who cannot see beyond their rolls of

computer tape.

And to you, madam, I might say, there are more things in heaven and earth, et

cetera, et cetera.

Come along.

It's almost midnight.

Dr. Smith.

Yes. Both John and I believe that there are certain psychic phenomena that can't

be explained.

However, this...

I am waiting to explain them to you, madam.

Please sit down.

All right, go ahead, children.

Now then, let us all join hands.

One over, one under.

Yes, so.

Vital that your left hand be in contact with Bill's right.

It would be terrible if we broke the eternal circle, you know.

Now then, let everyone close his eyes and send out thoughts to the timeless

universal spirits of those that came before us.

Oh, really, Dr. Smith, don't you think this is a little ridiculous?

Shh, madam.

You will ruin everything with your unfriendly vibrations.

We greet you with song, oh spirit, with infinite faith in your goodness.

No giggling.

Oh, spirit.

Give us a sign that you have overlooked our naughty fellow travelers in space

who doubt your presence.

And let them know that you are willing to let bygones be bygones.

If they will amend their ways.

With bated breath, we await a sign that you are with us. Everybody, suck in the

ship. Suck in the ship.

Look what you've done. We were about to hear from the spirit world.

What is this? What's he doing?

Warning. Warning.

What? Unidentified object behind you.

Warning. Warning.

Unidentified object in front of you.

Warning. Warning.

Unidentified object beside you.

Warning. Warning.

Uncle Thaddeus, you stopped at this man?

What are you doing to him? What's he doing to us?

What'd you do that for? I don't want you to hurt Uncle Thaddeus. Shut your Uncle

Thaddeus, you idiot. Something you started by ditching that explosive in

Listen the thumping has stopped

power but it sure hates daylight done can you get the backup system going i'll

try if that thing feeds on power well then maybe we can trap it by using power

as bait

Let's get some sleep. We have a lot of hard work to do before tomorrow night.

You're completely mad. You cannot trap a spirit in a cage.

Can't you realize that what we're dealing with is a destructive, primitive

force? Uncle Thaddeus is not primitive.

And if he's destructive, it's only because you've offended him.

Don't you ever give up.

You've said the same thing over and over. You sound like a parrot.

And I'll continue to say it. The hours you've wasted fabricating this affront

my forebears could have been much better spent refining fuel for our departure.

Well, Smith, since you're so anxious to get going, why don't you go ahead and

refine? I'm sure that you know as much about that as you did about Drill Site

All right.

We're ready to test it now.

but when the spirits become aware of your amateurish plotting, there will be

stopping them.

Do you have any better suggestions, Dr. Smith?

Yes.

Placate them.

Communicate with them. Let them know you believe in them.

Well, you know, somehow I just can't see myself sitting down at a Ouija board.

And since I'm in command here, we're going to go after whatever's giving us

this trouble my way.

At your own peril.

exerting full power to get out of trap.

Warning! Warning!

Unidentified object exerting full power to get out of trap.

Warning! Warning!

Warning! Warning!

Warning!

Now,

Lieutenant, you've given the powers of darkness an open invitation to destroy

all. Why don't you admit you started all this?

All right, I admit it.

Why couldn't you let sleeping dogs lie?

Oh, forgive me, Uncle Thaddeus.

Whatever's in there hasn't been getting much sleep the last couple of nights.

Because you spoiled my attempt to placate him. Are you sure it's your

Thaddeus in there, Dr. Smith?

It's his poltergeist. The demon that possesses him when he's in a rage.

I'd sure like to get a good look at him. Maybe we could put a lot of rope around

the cage and then open the door.

We'll wait till morning. He'll be lots quieter then.

Do you think he'll still be invisible in the morning?

I don't know. I don't materialize him, but in his present state of agitation, I

wouldn't dare.

Once and for all, Smith, why don't you get it through your thick head that

what's in there is not your Uncle Thaddeus?

Yes, I know, Mater.

It's mass and energy and similar figments of your nuclear imagination.

And if you choose to believe that humbug, you go right ahead and do it.

Oh, the ignorance of science!

To save us all, our situation is desperate.

I thought you were Uncle Thaddeus.

No, he recognizes me more readily when I wear familiar raiment.

I will.

That safe path through the bog you told me about, you must lead me to it.

Why do you want to go there?

To placate an army of hosts that is probably massing now to attack us and

one of their own from the trap.

It's our last hope.

He's not a ghost, Doctor.

Spirit, they do not like to be called ghosts.

Well, he isn't a spirit either.

Must you argue with me now when time is so short? At least give me the benefit

of the doubt.

Well, Mom did say to have an open mind about it.

I'll go.

Good. We must hurry.

Are you sure it's safe?

I don't swim very well, you know.

It's dry land, but it's kind of narrow, so you'll have to watch your step. Yes.

The dangers I face for that family.

Don't be afraid, my boy. Everything's perfectly all right.

I'm right behind you.

They're attacking me! The poltergeist! They've caught me!

Push it aside, Dr.

Smith. It's only a branch.

Are you sure?

I'm sure.

Oh.

We're about in the middle of the bog now. This might be a good place to start

that placating.

Yes, I suppose so.

Hold the lamp up high.

Oh,

universal spirits, hear my voice.

Hear my voice. Hear my voice.

I give you my solemn promise. Your brother spirit, who has been treated so

outrageously, will be returned to you unharmed.

Calm yourselves and wait patiently.

He will surely return.

Do you think they heard you?

I'm waiting for a sign.

Oh, universal spirits, give me a sign that we are friends.

Hear what?

Something moving.

Listen.

I don't hear anything.

And I don't see anything out there either.

We may have come too far.

I think we'd better go back.

This place is as good as any, if they're going to hear you. I have more

experience in these matters than you.

Follow me.

You'd better go ahead and light the way.

Careful.

I almost fell into the bog. Don't be so scared, Dr. Smith.

It's not deep, just slime.

That does not reassure me.

Wait. What is it now?

I heard it again.

Listen.

Someone's following us.

Oh. Maybe we should have stayed where we were.

Is anyone out there?

You call to him, Dr. Smith.

He'll probably answer you.

Whoever he is.

Why, Will, as soon as we get out of this dreadful bog, he can hear us just as

well on dry land.

Why don't we just wait here and let him catch up to us? Oh, no, no.

We must maintain a respectful distance.

It's an essential part of the ceremony.

Okay.

Come.

Where? Where?

There.

Do

you

recognize him?

Not exactly.

You'd better start talking to him if you want him to let us by.

He doesn't seem very friendly.

He may be loaded with poltergeists.

Are poltergeists dangerous?

Oh, yes, very.

And unpredictable. You never know what they're going to do next.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to exorcise them.

Why would a spirit need exorcise?

No, no, my boy.

Exorcise. It means to cast out evil.

The evil demons.

How do we do that?

With these mystic charms.

Watch. I'll try the dagger first.

With this dagger, I exorcise your demons, oh spirit.

The poltergeist must have turned it aside.

They're very wicked and cunning.

This garlic will probably do the trick.

What do you want me to do with it?

Wave it in front of him and repeat after me.

Oh, ye herb of evil odor.

Oh, ye herb of evil odor.

Unite with the demons who possess this spirit and render them harmless.

Unite with the demons who possess this spirit and...

Well, go on, go on.

I don't think that's a spirit at all.

What? I think it's a dead tree.

Don't get too close.

I'm right, it is a tree.

Imposter!

He told me that sooner.

All that wasted effort.

What are you doing now?

Looking for the dagger. It flew over here.

Will!

Over here!

Find the dagger.

Will, answer me.

Did you find the dagger?

Will?

That you... No!

No, you're not my Uncle Thaddeus! You couldn't be!

Abort! Get your hands!

Be gone!

Abort!

Get your hands!

Be gone!

If only I had the garlic in my dagger!

No, no. I really didn't mean it. I wouldn't do anything to harm you.

I wouldn't hurt you for anything, only please...

He's gone.

What will I do now?

How will I tell them?

Is someone there?

You better get Will and Dr. Smith.

Dr. Smith?

Looks like we fed him enough power to eat his way out.

Mom! Dad!

Neither of them are in their cabins.

Oh, dear.

Oh, dear.

Was Will with you?

He will always be with me. Never mind that. Where is he now?

It was a fateful journey.

one of which I was prepared to sacrifice myself, if need be, to save you all.

Where is he?

The bark.

The bark.

We'll find him, darling.

You left him out there.

Oh, Dr. Smith, how could you?

Oh, dear.

There's something over there.

Did you hear his call?

I don't think so.

Well, what are you doing out here anyway?

Or is this another one of Dr. Smith's brilliant ideas?

I don't know how brilliant it was, but it sure was funny. He tried to placate

the spirits, but I dropped the lamp.

I mean, I tried to find it.

I know you won't believe this, but I became invisible.

I believe you, son.

Well, and then something tried to... Well, I don't know, but it couldn't have

been Dr. Smith's Uncle Thaddeus.

Well, knowing Dr. Smith, there isn't anything I'd put past his Uncle

I'd better tell him I'm all right.

Now, wait a minute. We'll go with you.

From now on, I shall devote the rest of my life to the service of my fellow man

with no thought of self.

That brave little boy shall not have died in vain.

A new Zachary Smith shall burst upon the world with a...

No! Oh, no!

No, not so soon. You can't materialize until I've raised you and I don't even

have my Ouija board.

But, Dr. Smith... Haunt me not, oh spirit.

I have already repented, I swear to you.

I'm not a spirit, Dr. Smith. I'm just me.

Will?

Will?

Is it you?

Oh, Will, it's you.

I found the lantern, but I lost a shoe looking for it.

Lost your shoe?

I know exactly where to find it.

Come along.

Ah, yes, Will.

As a youth, I spent many a summer day lazing in the warm sun on the banks of

river. The blue sky overhead, the shimmering water flowing by, the gentle

a bee in flight.

Ah, yes, a barefoot boy with cheeks of tan.

Alert, alert.

A moving object attached to line.

He's got a big one.

Go pull it in, you idiot. Don't just stand there.

Weight of the object exceeds the strength of the line.

Restraints should be exercised until there is less resistance.

Ah, give me that hole.

Let an expert show you how this should be done.

Caution and patience is advised.

Caution and patience. Quiet, you mumbling master metal. I'll handle this.

He's right, Dr. Smith. If you're not careful, the fish will get away.

Nonsense. Our finny friend is practically in the frying pan now.

A release of line tension is advised.

Give him some slack, Dr. Smith.

Ease off gradually.

I know what I'm doing.

Give up, you brute. You've missed your match.

Object fish has eluded capture.

He got away, sir.

Not even the greatest expert could have landed that monster. He must have

weighed a hundred pounds.

All your fish got away.

Are you suggesting that my failure is due to a lack of ability?

Well, you're the only one who didn't catch anything.

As you have said, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Indeed.

Rather than bear any further insults, I shall return to the Jupiter II.

Good day to you both.

Oh, we didn't mean anything, Doctor. Honest, we didn't.

He did not get away.

I released him.

We might as well go, too.

Dr. Smith suffers the injury of embarrassment.

He will recover.

Well, I guess you're right.

kind of danger. My sensors will not accept the possibility of its existence.