Original subtitles

Oh, Jenny, isn't it beautiful?

And economical.

Two birthdays for the price of one. Oh, yeah, that was Anne's idea. She thought

that David would get more fun out of it that way.

Gee, I hope we have enough candles.

Let's see.

David's eight.

How old are you, Mrs. Roper? If you don't mind saying.

Oh, no. No, I don't mind. If you promise not to tell anybody.

Oh, I won't.

I'm a lot older than David.

looking forward to tonight, aren't you? Oh, I really am.

Dinner at the Brooks is very special.

What's so special about it?

They invited us.

Why not? You're good friends, aren't you? Oh, Ann and I are, but the men

get along too well.

Stanley is convinced that Mr. Brooks doesn't like him. Oh, where'd he get

idea? Mr. Brooks told him.

But honestly...

Since they've been rehearsing the puppet show together, it's been just

wonderful. Too bad I'm going to miss it. Oh, Jenny, listen, can't you leave your

class early? Just this once?

I mean, after all, the puppet show was your idea.

Okay, I'll try.

It ought to be good. I've never seen Mr. Rowe for this enthusiastic.

It's the first time in weeks he's been excited.

Too bad he has to waste it on the puppets.

How about a nice cold beer?

That sounds good to me.

Is that you, Stanley?

Oh, let's have some fun. Let's go see Helen.

Well, make up your mind. You want to have fun or you want to see Helen?

Hey, cutie, how about a kiss?

Okay, you can have a kiss.

Not me.

Not me, the puppet, the puppet.

Mr. Roper?

I don't know. I haven't tasted it yet.

Where have you been?

With Brooks rehearsing. You know, he really likes my idea about doing a

show. That was Jenny's idea.

No, it wasn't.

Wasn't it Jenny who went out and got the puppets?

Are you going to tell me it wasn't my idea for me and Brooks to put on the

Huh? Huh? Yes, I am. Huh?

You talk like I don't have a single idea in my head.

No, Stanley.

You talk like that.

What did you say?

I didn't say anything. He was just clearing his throat.

There's nothing there, either.

Oh, I wasn't looking for a birthday present.

Oh, that's good. Because you didn't find one, did you? No.

Ann.

Talking to Roper.

About the puppet show for David.

David.

David, what are you doing in there?

He's looking for more birthday presents. Oh, David, please.

I'm so disappointed.

Me too. I didn't find any big presents. He's seeing these presents and he's a

little unhappy that they're small.

David, don't you know that the best...

That thing come in small packages. I mean, who knows what fun could exist in

tiny box.

Hey, this could be a puzzle or a magic decoder ring or a wrist radio.

What do you think it is?

Socks.

Socks.

Oh, David, you can't have fun if your feet are cold.

I guess you better go outside and play, huh?

Okay. Okay.

Where did you hide the bicycle?

Helen let me put it in her garage. Oh, I can't wait to see the expression on his

face. Well, we could give it to him now.

Now? Absolutely not. No, when David sees his first bicycle for the first time,

it will be only after he's made a wish and blown out his candles. And then,

I shall enter.

Bicycle in hand.

His dream come true.

What a glorious moment that will be.

You think David will enjoy it, too?

I meant David.

Ann, don't you understand? A boy's first bicycle is like his first love.

Like a girl?

Exactly.

Except a girl doesn't have wheels.

Or a tiny bell that goes ting -a -ling.

I don't know, Jeffrey. Sometimes you make me go ting -a -ling.

I do not.

Ting -a -ling.

Too bad you don't have wheels.

Hi, Mr. Roper. What's that?

I'm making a spice rack for Mrs.

Roper's birthday.

And I don't want to give it to her until tonight.

What's the spice rack for?

It's for spices.

You see, Mrs. Roper's always complaining about spending so much time looking for

spices that she ruins her dinner. This way, she'll have the spices right at her

fingertips. I bet you'll like that.

Yeah. Now it'll take her half as long to spoil our dinner.

That's for me to know and you to find out.

Is it in our storeroom? Nope.

Is it in your storeroom? Nope.

Is it in our garage?

Nope. Is it in your garage?

Huh? Is it in your garage?

Hey, enough with the third degree. I'm not talking and that's it.

Okay.

Oh, Roper.

Everything set for tonight?

Yeah, I'll bring the puppets over early so we can rehearse. Ah, great.

Have you seen David? He was here just a minute ago. Ah, thanks.

Oh, that boy. I've told him not to take things from the neighbor's trash.

Hey, hey, that's mine.

It's your trash?

My spice rack.

Oh, of course. Yeah, on a handsome piece of work it is.

Thank you. Hi, David. Hi, David.

What's he doing with his new bike?

He's riding it. No, no, no, no. That was supposed to be a surprise.

You look surprised.

I was talking about David.

Wait a minute.

How'd he find out it was in your garage?

I don't know. We were just talking and... And you told him?

No, he was trying to get it out of me, but I... And he did.

You...

Besides, why'd you put his bike in my garage?

Because we needed a face big enough to hide it and your mouth wasn't around at

the time.

You broke my spice rack. How can you tell?

It's all the racket.

Brooks broke your birthday present.

Your husband ruined Helen's birthday present.

Jeffrey. Well, he told David about his birthday present.

Stanley. I didn't tell anybody about anything.

Why don't you let me explain? Explain what? That your brains are out to lunch?

Jeffrey. In the house. But Anne.

Jeffrey. In the house, Jeffrey.

You too, Stanley.

I don't want to go in his house.

Honestly, sometimes men behave like such children.

Yeah. I wonder what gets into them. I don't know. I mean, just because Jeffrey

was mad at Stanley doesn't mean he had to break my birthday present.

That's true, but Stanley did tell David about the bike.

Oh, well, I'm sure he didn't mean to.

Oh, that may be, but you have to try to understand Jeffrey's feelings. You know,

a father giving his son his first bike.

Well, Ann, I do understand, but that doesn't mean it was all Stanley's fault.

Helen, I don't like to say this, but it sounds like you're taking Stanley's side

completely.

Look, Ann, I'm not taking anybody's side.

Stanley just made a little mistake, and Jeffrey overreacted.

That's understandable.

Stanley can be very trying.

And Jeffrey can be very snooty.

Snooty? Well, maybe he wouldn't be if Stanley weren't always under his snoot.

Well, maybe we ought to just stay away from you all together.

Maybe you ought to. And maybe we ought to start right now.

If that's what you want.

If that's what you want.

Ta -da!

Ace of hearts!

Golly, David, isn't this fun?

Now go ahead, go ahead.

Take another card.

Do I have to?

No, no.

It's your day and we'll only do what you want to do.

David, would you like to ride on your new bike?

I already asked him that and he says he doesn't want to.

Hey, how about opening some of your other presents?

Doesn't want to do that either.

Never touched his dinner. That's right.

Well, David, if you're not having a good time, just say so.

I'm not having a good time.

David?

I thought we were going to have a puppet show.

Well, we were, but we can't because the Ropers aren't coming over.

Why not?

Because your mother had a fight with Mrs. Roper.

Now, just a minute. I didn't start it. I was sticking up for you after your

fight with Mr. Roper. But, Ann, that wasn't a fight. That was a

misunderstanding.

No, no, you and Helen had the fight.

What? Oh, you should have seen your mommy, David.

Her eyes flashing fire. She stood up to that woman like a tigress.

Jeffrey, stop telling David that nonsense.

You were inside.

You didn't see a thing. Oh, but I could hear you, my love. You were speaking

quite loudly, as you are doing now.

Now, you listen to me, Jeffrey.

I'm having a fight.

A fight?

No, we're not having a fight.

You see?

Ann, I think it's time for David to blow out the candles and make a wish.

I wish the robbers were here.

I said a wish, not a curse.

Come on, Ann. Ann, get the cake.

It's over at the robbers. No, no.

All right, all right, all right. We'll just think of something else.

Can I fly with my train?

Sure, we'll do whatever you want to do.

Where are you going?

That's where my trains are.

David, you can play with your trains some other time. But, Daddy, thanks. Can

you listen to your mother? Oh, I'm getting such a headache.

Me, too.

No cake, no trains, no puppet show.

Who said so? We can have our own puppet show.

Jeffrey, get the puppet.

Great idea, Ann. Oh, no.

What's the matter? It's over at the Ropers.

Boy, this is the worst birthday.

ever had.

Boy, this is the worst birthday I've ever had.

Well, we all get older, Helen.

You know what I mean.

Aren't you going to finish your meatloaf? Oh, is that what it is?

Come on, you've had leftovers before.

These aren't leftovers, they're remains.

That's why I didn't fix any dinner.

At least we got the cake. And it's my favorite, chocolate.

We can't eat that cake.

Why not?

Half of it is David's. So we'll eat the other half.

Oh, no, we won't.

Poor little David.

His birthday's been ruined enough already.

Who would have ever thought that Ann and I could have a fight like that? Well,

don't blame yourself, Helen. I mean, Ann is getting snooty as her husband.

You think so? Yeah, well, it's only natural. You know, when you live with

somebody, you begin to act alike, look alike. Oh, please.

I'm depressed enough already.

Oh.

I mean, to think that David is their very own child.

Wouldn't you think that they would at least come over here and ask him? And

for the cake?

Yeah, and you'd give it to him, too, wouldn't you?

Not if she got down on her knees and begged my forgiveness.

Helen, I accept your apology.

I didn't come to apologize.

Then what do you want? I want to invite you and Stanley over for ice cream and

cake. That's like an apology.

You're inviting us? Look, Helen, I'm only doing this for David's sake. His

birthday will be ruined if he doesn't see that puppet show.

Well, all right.

For David's sake.

I'll get the cake.

For David's sake.

And the three bad rabbits, Flopsy, Mopsy, and Popsy, were all arrested by

copsies.

Isn't that funny, David?

You know, when my father told me that story, I couldn't stop laughing.

I guess it was the way you told it.

Happy birthday, David!

Oh, boy, now we're going to have some fun.

We've been having fun.

No, we haven't.

Yes, we have. He just doesn't remember.

I'll heat up the coffee.

Oh, oh, please, don't go to any trouble.

I don't intend to.

You want me to take that from you? No. Oh, fine. Just put it on the table. You

can stand guard over it.

Coffee will be ready in a few minutes.

Well, while we're waiting, why don't we sit down and have a nice, friendly chat?

With who?

Don't you remember?

We're doing this for David.

Oh, yeah.

David, uh, what have you been doing all day?

Waiting for the puppet show.

Me too. Come on, Brooke.

Oh, come on, David. Oh, yeah.

I wanted the one with the orange nose.

Boy, David, this is going to be fun.

Yes, Mr. Roper planned the whole thing.

I think you'll like it anyway, David.

Your father will see to that.

Oh, is he dropping out of the performance?

Ready?

Ready.

is missing and I don't know what to do. Oh, why don't you go to the police and

give them a description?

They'd never believe me.

Hey,

would you mind telling that guy behind you to cover his head? It keeps shining

on my eyes.

That's the one I made up of.

Would you like telling the guy behind you that he's very lucky to have so much

hair? Oh, you noticed, huh?

Of course. It covers all the holes in his head.

I don't remember that joke.

Hey, for your information, baldness is a sign of intelligence.

Then you must be a genius, bald.

My faith, you idiot.

Who are you calling an idiot?

Not, not, not the dummy in your hand.

I guess you'd just better apologize to everyone for having a birthday.

I'm sorry I had a birthday.

Oh, Dave.

I'm so ashamed.

It's we who should be sorry.

Oh, Ann.

I don't know what to say.

I do.

Happy birthday, Helen.

Oh, Ann.

Well, Roper, I'm big enough to admit it was all my fault.

And I'm big enough to agree with you.

Here's your present, David.

Well, I hope I'm not too late for cake and ice cream.

Are you kidding?

If it weren't for you, we wouldn't have anything to celebrate.

Jenny, I'm so proud of you.

Well, what you did would make the biggest fool come to his senses.

What'd she do?

You see, Aunt, everything is going to be fine.

Hey, everybody, my headache has completely disappeared.

Blow out your candles. You ready, David?

One. Make your wish. Two.

Three.

Yay!

That was quick.

It would have taken all night to blow out Helen's candles.

Hey, little fella, what do you wish for?

Someone to play with.

Oh, your father and I can arrange that.

Oh, please.

What do you wish for, Mrs. Roper?

The same thing.

The Ropers was videotaped in front of a studio audience.

Turbulence occurs on the set of an airport commercial when the director and

get into a fight.

Three's a Crowd, next on Deja View.